Dear Madeleine,

I manage R&D for a large medical device company. I am at the tail end of my work life. I wanted to retire at the end of this year, but our executive team is encouraging me to stay until I feel comfortable that someone on my team can step into the role.

Right now, I am not seeing a likely replacement. The job requires a wide mix of skills and activities. Although I have shared development ideas with my direct reports, I don’t see anyone doing anything differently.

I just sense that no one really cares much about the job or has the ambition to do anything other than the bare minimum. How can I light a fire under these people?

Where Is the Spark?

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Where Is the Spark?

It might be you, my friend. It sounds like you have made some suggestions that your folks may not quite know what to do with. And they may not know why they should bother.

Getting your people fired up to develop themselves for a senior leadership role requires you to intentionally and systematically tap into their dreams and aspirations, understand their identity—how they see themselves, and convince them of their agency—the extent to which they are empowered to go beyond where they think they can go. It’s up to you to create an environment where each of your people sees what’s possible, why it matters, and how they can grow into it.

Here are some ideas for how you might approach creating such an environment:

1. Share a Vision of What Leadership in Your Organization Can Be

You can do this with your entire team, in small doses.

• Describe what great leadership looks like in your organization—not just in competencies, but in impact.
• Share examples of leaders in your company who are admired. Why are they effective?
• Talk about the difference leaders can make at a senior level. Tell stories. You might say something like: “Leadership here isn’t about position—it’s about shaping direction, driving culture, and building something bigger than yourself.”

The challenge with this idea is that you will also be held to the standards you talk about.

2. Spot and Call Out Potential

People rarely see leadership potential in themselves unless someone points it out.

• Tell individuals specifically what strengths or behaviors you’ve seen in them that signal leadership potential.
• Make it personal and credible: “I see you as someone who could be a strategic leader here because you consistently…”

Don’t wait for them to ask. Plant a seed anytime you see something a person can build on.

3. Connect to Personal Purpose

Deep motivation comes from alignment with identity and values. Who is each team member, at their core? How do they see themselves? What matters most to them?

• You might ask: “What kind of impact do you want to have?” or “What problems do you care most about solving?” or “What interests you most about what we do here?
• Once you get some answers, you can connect to ways that senior leadership might offer them a bigger lever to engage in activities that mean the most to them.

4. Share Responsibility

Growth accelerates when people feel responsible for something bigger than their job. Look at what you do daily and figure out what you can delegate. Start out small, and build.

• Assign stretch responsibilities that align with senior leadership competencies, such as cross-functional work, strategy development, or mentoring others.
• Let them lead change, not just manage tasks.
• Frame it: “This is a great chance to build the skill set senior leaders need.”

5. Make Development Visible and Structured

If development feels fuzzy or unsupported, it can easily fall by the wayside—which is what has been happening for your people.

• Build or recommend a clear pathway: rotational projects, leadership coaching, mentoring, strategic courses. Build on strengths or identify specific gaps they can work on.
• Use individual development plans (IDPs) tied to specific leadership competencies. If your organization already has these, use them. If it doesn’t, create the ones you think are most critical. Start with one or two and be careful not to overpower people with too much, too soon. The key is to start with low-hanging fruit. What is a small thing that might be possible and would make a big difference?

6. Celebrate Progress and Model the Way

People need to see development as a rewarding investment; otherwise, it just feels like extra work.

• Acknowledge each person’s accomplishments and growth in public settings. This reinforces motivation and can inspire others in the group to rise as well.
• Share your own development journey, including struggles. This normalizes growth and makes leadership feel attainable. It would require you to be vulnerable, which could be uncomfortable. But it will humanize you and remind your people that you weren’t always the boss.

You will learn a lot about your people as you try some of these suggestions. The obstacles will become much clearer. You may uncover irrational fears that you can allay. You may find that some of your folks are already overwhelmed by their workload and don’t have the bandwidth to take on anything else. You may uncover some cynicism; e.g., you may hear that the organization is perceived as very political. Cynicism is data that can help you pinpoint assumptions about falsehoods that you can dispel, or about realities you hadn’t noticed or considered important. You can help everyone shift their mindset and support them in navigating obstacles.

This will be a lot more work for you—and, of course, for them. But if they know you care and are paying attention, I guarantee a few will rise to the top. And then you can retire!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work for a midsized company. When our CTO retired I thought I would be in the running for the job, because I have been with the company the longest, have kept my skills current, and have lots of ideas that I regularly share with our CEO. Apparently I wasn’t even considered, and a new CTO has been hired without the job being posted.

I won’t lie—I absolutely resent that I wasn’t given at least a chance. But that’s not my issue. My issue is that the company has some serious problems.

We are paying for some legacy systems that nobody uses. No one really knows who initiated the contracts or why. It is costing us needlessly. Also, we have a couple of IT support people who literally smoke weed all day and play pass-the-buck with support tickets. We could be getting so much more out of this team and we could easily get by with fewer people.

Our CEO is clueless. He left it all up to the former CTO, who had one foot out the door for years. The waste and inefficiency drives me crazy.

How do I surface all of this to the new CTO without it seeming like sour grapes? I don’t want to rat people out, but I also feel like I’m the only one who puts in real work days—and that’s getting old.

Thoughts?

Watching the Train Wreck

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Dear Watching the Train Wreck,

This all sounds really frustrating. There is a whole potential conversation about what played into your being summarily passed over for a promotion, but you didn’t ask about that so I will leave it be.

I think there are ways to surface issues without calling anyone out. It is just hard for you to see it because you are so angry. I’m not saying you are wrong for being angry, you just can’t let it get in your way.

I suspect there might be a situation where you surface problems to your manager without sharing your ideas for how to fix them. I have heard many managers and leaders say “don’t bring me problems without ideas for how to solve them.”

There is no reason not to make a list of the legacy systems nobody uses and share them with the new CTO. If you shared this with your former CTO and nothing was ever done, either he didn’t care or he was getting a kickback. Either way, this situation is bad and needs fixing.

You could volunteer to chase down the contracts, see if the original time frame has expired, and potentially cancel—just be 100% sure that you are correct in your belief that nobody uses the system. You may not know who still depends on what, and historical data could be lost if you haven’t fully done your due diligence. Take on the project and get it done. Keep track of how much you are saving the company and make sure your new boss knows about it.

Regarding your slacker colleagues, you are 100% right that ratting anyone out is a bad idea. Nobody likes a rat. It’s just human nature. But there has to be a better way of managing support tickets so that the work is more evenly distributed and dodging is not an option. Without naming names, you could share that the current process is unreliable and allows for too much leeway for team members to play the system. Maybe come up with a few ideas for a process that might work, and volunteer to experiment to find one that is equitable. You must know of better systems—especially if you’ve stayed up to speed with changes in your field of expertise.

What your new CTO will experience is someone who is honest (without being judgy) and eager to initiate change for the better. Hopefully, your input will be well received.

If it turns out that the new CTO is as disengaged as the last one, your best bet may be to go work with people who care about efficiency and professionalism as much as you do. But give the new person a chance. You never know; it could be great.

No sour grapes. Just candor, ideas for solutions, and enthusiasm.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a sales manager for a specific product in a large US company. My team is small and we all work very hard. As a result, I applied to hire a new team member to accommodate the sharp increase in opportunities.

I ended up going with an internal hire who came from another sales team. I will call him K. He got up to speed pretty quickly and seemed to settle in well. At about the same time he started, my boss, the EVP of sales, rolled out a new CRM system.

Even though learning a new system was stressful for everyone, we all got a lot of training. This system does things our old one didn’t do, so we were all enthusiastic about the change.

We are now held accountable for several new tasks as part of our sales approach. One is to ask for introductions to other potential buyers in the organizations we sell to and to provide detailed records of this effort. Another is to keep detailed notes of all contacts that are made.

Most everyone on the team, except K, seems to have found a groove with these new requirements. We all keep the system open all day and enter information as we go. It isn’t hard once you get the hang of it. K, on the other hand, is using his old system of keeping his incremental activity in a notepad. He claims he will enter everything at the end of the week.

Part of my job is to go into the system at the end of each week and create a report for my boss of all activity. The first month we were all on a learning curve, but now, three months in, K’s records are spotty at best. I am cc’d on a lot of emails and also have attended some of K’s sales calls, so I know for a fact that some information is not where it should be.

I have spoken to K about this three times and pointed out the gaps where things are missing. I’ve asked him if he is having trouble getting the hang of the new system. Last Friday I offered to sit with him and help while he got all of his information in, but he declined. He tells me he will absolutely pay more attention to putting his information in, but then Friday comes and—no change.

My boss is concerned and is challenging me to confront K, but I just don’t know what to do when he keeps yessing me and then not doing anything differently. I don’t know if he is just not taking me seriously, if he thinks I am pushover, or if he thinks he can fly under the radar forever. I don’t want to be mean, but how do I get across that he needs to step it up and comply with using the new system properly?

Being Yessed

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Being Yessed,

This kind of situation is so frustrating. Being unable to gain insight into what is getting in the way of someone doing what they say they are going to do (and what they need to do) leads inevitably to speculation about what is going on in their head. Speculating can lead to making assumptions, which can lead to all kinds of trouble.

Our time-tested performance management model, SLII®, would suggest that K is stuck at the development stage called “the disillusioned learner.” This stage is a deeply unpleasant combination of low competence, often a lack of confidence, and low commitment to improving. It can look a lot like an attitude problem. If you as the leader cannot successfully help him find his way past it, this stage could easily be terminal—meaning you would have to let him go.

I think one fair assumption is that something is getting in the way of K’s lack of compliance. The only way to find out what it is, is to ask him. You can start with questions like:

• What is stopping you from using the system the way the rest of us do and keeping track of your activity as you go?
• What is really going on with you?
• Do you understand that our keeping detailed reports is a requirement? That it is not optional? That I am held accountable by my boss to ensure compliance, and that I am now getting in trouble?
• Do you understand why my boss and I both think having accurate records is important?
• What do you think might help you to get the proper records done by end of business every Friday?
• What kind of support or extra training might be helpful?

If K persists in shutting you out, you can explain that your job is to partner with him to help him be successful, but he has to meet you halfway. If that doesn’t help, you can explain that compliance with basic processes is a condition of employment, and if he is unwilling or unable to do the job the way it needs to be done, you will have no choice but to replace him. That sounds harsh, but it is the truth. You can tell the truth as long as it is without blame or judgment, and it might actually get the message across.

You may or may not be able to compel K to change, and you need to be prepared to respond appropriately. Be ready to explain the consequences of his choices.

You can certainly ask if there is anything you are doing that is contributing to the situation—but ultimately try to not make it about you. Keep the focus on K and what he needs.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work in a company that has recently gone to a matrix environment. It is kind of a disaster because no one seems to know what that means. Trying to get anyone to make a decision so I can move forward with projects on a deadline is making work incredibly stressful. I pride myself on getting things done on time, and I am going to be late on several key deliverables through no fault of my own.

I have at least two bosses now and am not sure which person to go to for what. One of them is not at all interested in letting go of her previous unilateral authority and is resisting my efforts to get the buy-in I need from her before I move ahead with things.

I am really struggling. Any ideas would be helpful.

Matrix Madness

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Matrix Madness,

Yours isn’t the first (and won’t be the last) company to adopt a shift to a matrix organizing structure without properly preparing everyone. (For details on matrix organizations, click here.) It is a source of universal suffering—and until things get worked out, you will have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Essentially, your company (like many others) is trying to get everyone in the organization to be more included, which will eventually help all of you manage the complexity of your business. Moving to a matrix is supposed to break down silos and solve the problem of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. And it can—it just causes a fair amount of chaos first.

I have a few ideas, all of which come from working with clients who have been through a similar change.

1. First, try to relax. Everyone is upside down, not just you. Identify the projects you are responsible for that are critical and time sensitive. Ask yourself: Will a customer be upset if the project is late? Will other projects be held up if things are delayed on my end? Once you have identified those, communicate with anyone who may be affected by your delays. Anything you can do to avoid disappointing people and to manage expectations on your deadlines will help relieve your anxiety.
2. Try to escalate the extent of the confusion to the company leadership. Your organization has adopted a massive change effort without taking the steps to educate and bring people along, which is why one boss is not onboard and is causing static for you. Maybe there is a way for you to ask for more training or more direction on what it means to work in a matrix.
3. A matrix will force you to act more like a leader. Communicate in writing all decisions and all intel you have to anyone who needs to be involved in a decision. Provide deadlines for feedback along with your own recommendations. Make clear when you will be moving forward, so that everyone knows their input is needed by a certain time.
4. Half your problem is that the change has been implemented as you are mid-project with many things, so that makes it harder. In the future, at the beginning of new projects, use a RACI chart so you know who to involve at what step. A RACI is a time honored way for setting up a project that clarifies who needs to be involved and how. I know a lot of people learn this in business school—it seems to be immediately forgotten, but is incredibly useful.

A RACI chart identifies the following:

R — Responsible – who is responsible for doing the work on a daily basis and making sure each item that needs to get done has an owner and is tracked.

A — Accountable – who is ultimately accountable for getting a goal or task completed, has the power to approve or veto actions or final product.

C — Consulted – who needs to have input into how the task gets done, whose opinion must be sought through two-way conversation. This step is often overlooked, which can cause a lot of problems.

I — Informed – who has an interest in the work because it will affect them in some way and needs to be kept up to date and notified of results. This can usually be a one-way communication.

Just because you are midstream with some of your projects doesn’t mean you can’t at least try to figure out the RACI now.

Dealing with your recalcitrant boss is a whole separate issue. You might want to have a one on one with her to explain why you feel the need to loop more people into decision making. Certain kinds of managers who experience having certain kinds of information and making decisions as a form of power can really struggle in a shift to a matrix. You might share this article with her and maybe even the RACI chart idea. You may end up having to go around her—which will certainly decrease her power and relevance—but you can’t really control her behavior.

You are obviously a dedicated and responsible contributor. Learning to navigate this disruption without letting yourself get upset will serve you well. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are going to be fine.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the CEO of a small but rapidly growing global employee relocation services organization. It is a complicated business. One of the complexities is that employment laws are different in every country and they change constantly.

Our chief legal counsel is very talented and business savvy. But when we are trying to land new business, when time is of the essence, she never seems to be able to review contracts in a timely manner. She has the largest team by far on the cost side of the business and she doesn’t delegate well. When she thinks her people are overwhelmed she takes over their tasks, which I think is ridiculous because she has her own very critical time sensitive work that needs tending to. My top salespeople get frustrated and call me and then I have to call her out, which creates a lot of tension.

I want to talk to her about this but I am stuck. I just don’t think someone at her level (not to mention her salary) should need her CEO to talk to her about how she is managing her time.

Replacing her is not an attractive proposition. This is a highly specialized industry and she does know a lot. When she actually focuses, she is brilliant and has helped us avoid a lot of challenges. But something must change. Thoughts?

Sick of Babysitting

_________________________________________________________

Dear Sick of Babysitting,

This does sound frustrating, but you have everything you need to rectify this situation.

One obstacle you can clear easily is your own attitude, which sounds roughly like: “I shouldn’t have to provide direction to someone this senior who is so well paid.” You are not alone. This mindset is pervasive. I hear it all day long—and I get it, I really do. But it is the natural result of the fact that people tend to be promoted because they are smart, hardworking, and technically excellent in their area of expertise—not because they are good managers or particularly talented businesspeople.

You are the CEO and it is your responsibility to make sure each person on your executive team:

1.  is crystal clear on their priorities, and
2. demonstrates that they have arranged what they focus on and how they allocate their resources (time, people, budget) in ways that are aligned with those priorities.

This essentially bypasses any confusion about what senior level, highly compensated employees should or should not be able to do. If such people are not doing what you think they should be doing, in the way you want it done and in the proper time frame, it is almost always because they either don’t understand the priorities (or don’t think they are important), they disagree with your priorities, or they simply don’t know how.

If the situation you describe continues, you can ask these branching questions:

• “Are the priorities clear?”
  • If the answer is no, repeat them. If it is yes, then ask:
• “Do you disagree with these priorities?”
  •  If yes, listen carefully, discuss, and find some middle ground. If no, then ask:
• “Do you need some help with figuring out how to align with them?”
  • If no, great, you can expect to see specific changes and you can brainstorm ways to track accountability for these changes. If yes, brainstorm what would be most helpful.

If it seems she can’t figure it out and does need some help, you can provide her with training or a coach or spend a little time with her yourself.

All this needs to be done without any blame or judgment on your part, so you will probably have to practice some self-regulation. It will help if you can convince yourself of the fundamental truth that just because you think someone should know something doesn’t mean they will.

From what you shared, it seems that your CLC’s priority is taking care of her own people, which is admirable, but serving her internal customers should be at least equally as important.

This plan assumes that the two of you have a decent relationship and that she will feel safe enough to tell you the truth. If you don’t think that will be the case, you may want to look at the possibility that you have built a culture of fear, and your direct executive team has stopped challenging you. This would mean you have a bigger problem: you have surrounded yourself with yes-men and yes-women and are flying blind. Let’s follow up on that if you think it might be true.

To put it in a nutshell, get over yourself and help out your legal eagle.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I run a large team for a media company. The CEO has a lot of strengths but is inconsistent and often irrational. My team is constantly on the hook to respond to endless PR issues, so we never quite know what is coming at us.

Before Covid we all came to the office early and stayed late—it was just a given. My job is global, so it is literally 24/7. Now the CEO has told his management team he wants everyone back in the office, but he won’t make it company policy because he is afraid people will quit en masse. Instead, he has tasked his management team with lowering the boom and insisting that people come back to the office.

My team members and I managed remotely through Covid. I think we are far more effective in person, but none of them have an interest in coming back to the office. In fact, they seem emboldened with their newfound freedom to the degree that they are now telling me what hours they will be working.

It would be so much easier for me if the company would just create a back-to-office policy instead of forcing all the managers to be the bad guys.

How should I approach this?

Hate Being the Heavy

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Hate Being the Heavy,

It is so easy to blame upper management for things people don’t like. I understand your resenting being left holding the bag on this issue; however, I think the opportunity here is to create a hybrid environment that works for everyone on your team. If your senior team won’t insist that everyone come into the office every day, you don’t have to either. You can’t be held accountable for something your senior team refuses to say out loud.

What was it, do you think, that made you more effective pre-Covid? It’s true that when working remotely you lose the opportunity for quick after-meeting chats and catch-ups in the hallway—so think about how you might build those into your remote day schedules.

It is not appropriate for your employees to inform you what their working hours will be—but it does make sense for you to speak with each team member to get insight into what would work best for them. You can be clear that you are gathering intel to make the best possible plan and you can’t promise your final plan will suit every individual perfectly. As long as your people feel heard and understood, and they trust you to use your best judgment, you should be okay.

Once you have heard from everyone, you can create a plan for your team. Maybe everyone comes in the same two days every week, each person can choose which day will be their third day, and everyone WFH on Fridays. Do whatever you think will work best.

You can make almost anything work if you follow these tips:

• Have at least one all-hands meeting in person per week. Maybe include a lunch to sweeten the deal. Use lunch time as an opportunity to socialize, letting people catch up on personal news.
• Make sure everyone is crystal clear about deliverables and deadlines. Provide ways for people to keep you up to speed on what they are working on. Anything you can do using technology to increase visibility into workflow will increase trust and communication.
• Create some rules about communicating and being available on chat during working hours.
• Have a dedicated office hours time each day where you can be free for a quick check-in with whoever might need one.
• Have team members choose one day a week to be on call, since part of the job is crisis management at all hours.
• Send the message that “showing up” can mean either in person or virtually—but showing up is an expectation.

Once people have a taste of the freedom that comes with remote work, it is hard to go back. In fact, I suspect there is no going back to the way things were. But this is an opportunity for you to get input and create something new that will afford some of the freedoms your people have become accustomed to even as you insist on some new norms.

A lot of leading indicators point to what we are going through as not so much The Great Resignation as The Great Switcheroo. People are taking advantage of the opportunity to move to jobs that are more aligned with their passions and values, with the kind of flexibility they have become accustomed to. So the more you can include your people in the design of your new work structure, the more successful you will be.

Do your research and then be bold and clear. You are the boss of your team, even if some of your team members may have forgotten.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

That’s not a big surprise to Ann Rollins, a solutions architect with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

“Most companies employ newsletters and email as the number one way to reinforce learning,” says Rollins, “even though they know having managers hold learners accountable is the best method.

“Including different people in the organization requires more mindshare, but we know it pays off. If you’re not engaging organizational leaders in this way, you’re leaving money on the table.”

Rollins also suggests focusing on two important aspects of the learner experience (LX) when thinking about reinforcement strategies.

“In the case of leadership development, leaders need both a mindset shift and skills. If you don’t take the time to set the context and get to the mindset of the leader, you’re just teaching them to fight fires. The challenge is how to deliver both in tandem. That’s where good LX design comes in.”

Rollins recommends that L&D professionals take a marketer’s approach and build a learning content funnel that starts with awareness at the top, knowledge in the middle, and skill development at the bottom of the funnel.

“At the top of the funnel, we might place a brief article on challenging assumed constraints. For the learner who wants to learn more, we would provide some additional resources.

“From there, the learner could access a collection of assets that layers on, builds, and extends the learning experience—it’s going from a first blush to dipping their toe into the middle stage of the funnel. If the learner wants some additional skill development and tools, they can sign up for a 90-minute session that is very specific to challenging assumed constraints, which is the bottom of the funnel.

“This is the opt-in approach. We use curated content to generate interest. And when people want to learn more, they have a clear path to a short-form, virtual experience and then a deeper dive option to get the tools they need.”

Would you like to learn more about best practices in design and reinforcement?  Join Ann Rollins for a webinar on December 15: Designing Effective Learning Experiences for a Hybrid Work Environment

Rollins will share strategies and techniques for successfully navigating the challenges of learning design in a time when people are fatigued with virtual life, fighting distractions, balancing priorities, and constantly multitasking.  Use this link to learn more.  The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Dear Madeleine,

I was promoted to VP of sales a few months before the pandemic hit. I feel like I have been in an industrial washing machine ever since, and am just starting to come up for air. There was a lot of training at the beginning but then our entire book of business and go-to-market strategies shifted. It has been mayhem, but things are starting to settle now.

I have an amazing team. I physically moved in order to take over a new region, so all of my people are relatively new colleagues, which is nice. About two years ago, our company changed CRM (Customer Relationship Management) systems. [Note: This is the system that sales leaders and marketing use to gain visibility into prospects, contact info, opportunities/pipeline, forecasting, account plans, competitive intelligence, etc.]

The new system is fine; not any worse or better than the old one. My people have figured out how to make it work for them and comply with requirements. But there are exceptions.

One sales rep, who creates amazing relationships with his customers and crushes his quota, cannot for the life of him get his info into the system. It’s great when he suddenly brings in huge projects, but then there is a scramble to deliver on the contract. Then there’s another rep who puts everything into the system beautifully but can’t seem to get anything done other than that—and she certainly can’t close.

My boss is giving me a hard time about both of them, but very little guidance on how to get them to where they need to be. Thoughts?

CRM Conundrum

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Dear CRM Conundrum,

I consulted our sales leaders here at Blanchard because I thought these may be common issues that they might have some good experience with. Judd Hoekstra and Sarah Caverhill both weighed in, so I credit them for a lot of this response.

I see 3 different issues in your letter.

1. One rep who crushes the numbers but won’t comply with keeping his data current in the CRM, which causes problems for you as a boss and for others downstream.
2. One rep who is very good at CRM management but doesn’t seem to know how to actually sell.
3. A boss who isn’t very helpful.

Today let’s deal with your sales genius who can’t/won’t comply, I will do a Part 2 later to address the other two issues.

There is an old New Yorker Cartoon of a guy in his underwear, smoking a cigarette and holding a martini at the water cooler, who says to another guy, “When you’re nailing the numbers, they don’t ask questions.” I bought a print and gave to our (then) VP of sales, but he didn’t think it was as funny as I did. I guess I have a really sick sense of humor. And until the advent of the now universally used CRM, I think it was kind of true that when sales reps would hit their goals, nobody much cared about how they did it or anything else. Your sales wiz is probably a bit of a holdover from those days. There is a progression to think through on this:

Get Clear About Development Level: What is your sales rep’s development level on using the CRM? In the language of our SLII® Model, development level is a combination of competence and commitment. There is a good chance that your rep hasn’t taken the time to get good at using the CRM because he doesn’t think he has to. The personality profile of people who are terrific at initiating and building terrific relationships that inspire buyers to commit usually does not include attention to detail and compliance with what they might consider to be annoying rules. And in today’s hypercompetitive job landscape, we are asking employees to be good at many skills. Being good at just one aspect of a job is no longer enough. So let’s be clear that you are asking a chicken to climb a tree or a squirrel to lay an egg—it won’t be natural or easy.

Gain Commitment: You are going to have to work with this rep on his willingness to commit to learning, getting good at, and using the CRM. First gain commitment, then get him the instruction and support that he will need to get skilled. How to do this? Explain how important the data is, why the organization requires it, and why you need it. Then set up small, reasonable milestones to get him where he needs to be. Sarah Caverhill shared an experience she had with a rep who refused to use our new CRM:

“I told her I understood she didn’t want to do it and asked her what was getting in her way. We identified a few things like ‘I get too busy in my day to do it’ and ‘I hate it—it’s drudgery.’ I explained that we need the data to run and grow our business. (Garbage in, garbage out—you want us to provide more resources? Then you need to do your part to help us see what’s coming down the pike. You want better project manager performance? Then you need to prepare your PMs with better info. And so forth.) I asked her if she understood the importance and she said she did. I then asked her what she could do to remove the things that were getting in her way and adjust her motivational outlook. We came up with several ideas. Eventually, she settled on one idea, which was to allocate 15 minutes each morning to updating the CRM before she started work. From that time on—and we’re talking years—I never had an issue with her opps being out of date. Sometimes the information was sort of a guess, but it was reliably input and often more accurate than I had expected.”

Be Fierce with Accountability and Enforce Consequences: If your sales rep simply refuses, you have a whole other problem. It sounds like he has gotten away with noncompliance thus far and is pretty sure that if he just ignores the situation, it will go away. If that is the case, you will have to discuss it with your boss and make a decision. There is probably a historical precedent in your organization that high performers can do whatever they want (in sales, especially, this is epidemic). So you need to choose to either perpetuate that culture or shift it—now. If you choose to perpetuate it, you will agree to let your rep not comply. Be aware that this will create issues of fairness if it hasn’t already: why do some people get away with bad behavior while others do not? All humans are hypersensitive to issues of fairness and will resent you for any preferential treatment you offer to anyone. On the flip side, you will have to come up with consequences for noncompliance, for which you are willing to hold both yourself and him accountable. This sets you up to be the compliance police, jury, judge, and parole officer, which will be a massive bummer—but that’s why managers make the big bucks. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

Any system of requirements/consequences for noncompliance will work as long as you commit to it and take action according to plan. The final result could very well be that your rep will lose his job. This is why you need your boss to have your back. And, of course, it would hurt you to lose his numbers, so you will need to figure out how to cover your loss.

Judd Hoekstra says: “This is probably one of the more draining aspects of the sales leader role, because it’s ongoing unless there is alignment on tough consequences (like losing your job) for noncompliance.”

I will cover the other two issues next week, because this answer is already too long. I will float one more idea, though: Would it make sense to pair your sales rock star with your data tracking rock star? Pair a chicken with a squirrel? Have one show the other how it’s done? Is anyone else thinking that could be a good idea? Of course, then you would have a potentially fraught compensation formula to calculate.

Isn’t sales leadership fun? I admire all of you, honestly—I couldn’t take the heat.

More next week.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve been managing a couple of teams located around the globe. Recently, our business has exploded, and I find that I am losing control of things. My question is: how do I help my people clarify when they need to include me in big decisions and when they don’t? I’ve never had this issue in the past—but we are doing so much and things are moving so fast. I need to find another way, because mistakes are being made and I am held responsible. I really don’t want to make anyone feel bad or demotivated. I actually appreciate that people are taking things into their own hands—until of course, they mess up.

I’ve never had any management training, but I assume people who do learn how to deal with this kind of thing. Any ideas?

Big Mistakes

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Dear Big Mistakes,

I wouldn’t worry about training; you seem to be doing awfully well on your own. At least you have the right mindset—which, frankly, no amount of training can shift for some people. And at least the problem you are grappling with is a good problem to have. Nothing succeeds like success!

I know of three concepts/models that might be helpful to you here. One is our time-tested, research-based flagship model, SLII®. Essentially, it helps managers and direct reports break down all goals and tasks, diagnose the competence and confidence of the employee in relation to each task, and then identify exactly what kind of leadership style is needed. You can access a cool e-book about it here.

Things have changed in the last few months. If people are making bad decisions, it’s because they are doing new tasks that they aren’t competent enough to fly solo with. That’s all. They are perfectly able to develop their competence, but first they need clear direction from you as well as some practice that you can supervise at critical stages. Ultimately, you will be able to trust them to have good judgment. So first read up on the model, then get super clear about where people are making mistakes and what is new about those instances. When you have conversations, you can own that you hadn’t given clear direction before and you wouldn’t expect a person to know something you had never told them. That way, you aren’t criticizing—you are simply correcting your own oversight while creating an environment in which the commitment is to transfer the capability for the future. It is good for them, and it frees you up.

Another concept, which I wrote about recently in this column, is Waterline. I learned this concept from W.L. Gore & Associates, where it is a company value. Your people need to know in no uncertain terms where their decision-making authority ends and when they need to consult you or others. If they understand the big picture well enough, they can assess the risk of each decision and know when the consequences of a mistake will be unacceptable.

The last model you may find useful is the RACI Chart. The RACI Chart, sometimes called a matrix, is used in project management for complex operations such as software design—but it is also good to use when working to create something new as a group. If you are growing in leaps and bounds, this is a great way to create clear agreements about exactly who is doing what and who they need to involve, consult, or work with. Once again, it’s up to you to gain clarity on all tasks and who is responsible for executing on the actions to achieve them. You also know who they need to consult with and gain input from on the plan, and who ultimately is accountable for making sure things are done correctly and according to timeline. You probably did this intuitively before, but didn’t have a chance to revisit everything as things began to change.

Since it seems like you generally trust your people and care about making them feel appreciated, no one will mind your pushing for increased clarity. Nobody wants to make mistakes—it is embarrassing! You can be crystal clear about decisions that need to be run by you as you develop your people and eventually empower them to make decisions on their own. In the end, you will have much stronger people and be able to grow that much faster.

Let me know which model is most useful to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

The quest for high performance may be at an all-time high. With the COVID-19 pandemic turning things upside down, some people are struggling to get through the day—but others continue to thrive. How do they do it?

Brendon Burchard’s best-selling book High Performance Habits offers many answers to that question. Through extensive original research and learnings from more than ten years of being the world’s leading performance coach, Burchard has identified the six most important habits for improving performance at home, at work, and in your community.

The habits Burchard encourages everyone to build include:

1. Seek clarity. Have a clear vision, consistently set intentions for who you want to be each day, and focus on what is meaningful.
2. Generate energy. Learn to release tension while setting intention. Bring joy to your daily activities and stay physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
3. Raise necessity. Understand what you need to do for yourself and others to remain motivated. Build a network of peers who will support you.
4. Increase productivity. Determine the outputs that matter most to your success. Develop the skills that will help you perform at a higher level.
5. Developing influence. Ask others to challenge themselves to perform differently. Be a role model for that behavior.
6. Demonstrate courage. Learn and grow from your struggles, share your truth, and fight a noble cause for others.

Burchard describes specific practices you can begin immediately for each habit. He stresses that although these practices may be common sense, they are not commonly practiced—so it is critical to make a commitment to using these tips and techniques to start your journey to long-term success and fulfillment. He suggests people focus on one practice at a time to recognize how significant each change can be.

Each chapter is filled with thought-provoking exercises to help you integrate the six habits into your routine, and encouragement to focus on the things that will make a big difference right away. Putting it simply, this is a guidebook for people who want to get control of their lives and experience true joy. The real-life examples of people who have overcome struggles by using the practices are evidence of how powerful this work can be. They offer proof that you, too, will be able to positively impact every aspect of your life.

Burchard shares a beautiful mixture of science-backed data and heart-centered strategies to help others live a better quality life. After applying just a few of his suggestions, you’ll notice a difference—and understand how extraordinary people become that way.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Brendon Burchard, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Brendon Burchard, go to www.brendon.com.

Dear Madeleine,

It has recently become apparent that one of my newer direct reports is lying. In one instance, he told me a presentation was proofed and ready to go and I found out it wasn’t when I went into the document on our shared drive to make a change. In another instance, I learned from a colleague that he had claimed to her team that we were further along with a deliverable than we actually were. And there have been other, less impactful, little red flags.

The crazy thing is that the lies are so easy to uncover—especially the shared drive documents where anyone can see the last time he was in the document. When I confronted him, he claimed he had completed the deck but the changes weren’t saved. We are a technology company so claiming technical failure can work when a whole system crashes, but this is just bald-faced lying—on top of unforgivable technical ignorance. It is one thing to be caught and apologize, which is what I would expect, but now it is adding insult to injury.

I am very clear about my expectations when new people join my team, but it never occurred to me to tell people they are not allowed to lie. I am so mad that I’m having a hard time thinking straight about this. I don’t know what to do. What do you think?

Liar Liar

Dear Liar Liar,

My first thought is no. Nope. No, no, no, no. Zero tolerance for lying. Then I thought about it some more, and guess what? Still no.

It is true—you wouldn’t think you’d need to tell people they can’t lie. But then something like this happens and you realize that what is obvious to you just is not obvious to everyone. It is fair to say that all implicit expectations need to be made explicit. That way, when someone does something you simply don’t anticipate, you have your explicit expectations to fall back on. Black and white. No grey area, no confusion, no discussion.

Potential expectations and grounds for dismissal might be:

1. No lying
2. No cheating
3. No stealing
4. No drinking on the job
5. No showing up to work in a bikini top
6. No showing up to in-person client presentations in bare feet
7. Do not bring your dog to a client meeting
8. No smoking in the restrooms

Numbers 5-8 are examples of expectations I wouldn’t have thought I needed to set. I’m not that creative. Just when I think I can no longer be surprised by human beings, I am surprised!

Now, there are the little fibs that many people tell to boost their egos, hide a minor infraction, or just entertain themselves. The thing is, if it doesn’t interfere with work or create static in the system, you probably don’t even notice it. But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

You sound like a sensible person. You must have hired this man for a reason—presumably, you thought he was going to bring something worthwhile to the table. You may be considering the high cost of hiring, onboarding, and training someone new. In case you’re motivated to try to salvage this employee, and if you think this could help, you might share our extraordinary Trust Model with him. This model does what all truly brilliant models do: it clarifies and simplifies a deeply layered and complex issue. You might even share this step by step guide to rebuilding trust with him. It can be helpful for people who need to break lifelong trust-busting habits.

Or you may just be fed up enough to not want to take the time. It’s up to you.

Before you go firing anyone, though, I suggest you get HR involved and start documenting. Call out the behavior every time you see it and make a note of exactly what happens. Work with your HR person to decide in advance how many (more) chances you will give Pants on Fire. People lie for all kinds of complicated reasons, many of which would evoke your compassion. So you don’t have to be mean about it, but you must refuse to tolerate it.

Prior to his final chance, you can literally say “lying will not be tolerated.” If you feel like you just don’t have the heart, I can recommend the work of Dr. Henry Cloud, an authority on setting boundaries. His book to check out is Boundaries for Leaders.

Don’t get mad. That just hurts you. Stay calm, point out the lies, and your liar will either clean up his act or lie his way out of a job.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the EVP of sales for a global professional services and SAS company. As you can imagine, we are reeling from the pandemic and the economic train wreck that seems to be coming at us. In the midst of this chaos, I have a long-tenured sales professional—let’s call her G—who is running amok. For many years, G has exceeded huge sales goals; therefore, she has a huge base salary. But for the past five years or so, G has fallen way short of goal.

About 18 months ago, her manager worked with G to recalibrate her goals and she agreed to all the points. She has achieved almost none of what was decided. Instead, she has been focusing on customers outside of her regional mandate. She has also put far too much time into developing strategic partnerships that are not useful to the organization. There are other problems I won’t get into.

The executive team agrees that G is a valuable employee and is willing to get her an executive coach. How would you recommend we go about it? We have provided coaching in the past without seeing quite the results we wanted. How can we ensure that the exorbitant expense will be worthwhile?

Need a Fix!

Dear Need a Fix,

I am so glad you asked. We have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. With clients, we call this Turnaround or Targeted coaching—but internally (don’t tell anyone) we call it Problem Child coaching. Even though our business is designed to offer coaching on a large scale, most clients who request this kind of thing want just one person coached. They want to fix someone who has been valuable but who has run into trouble. This used to be the definition of coaching: bringing in an outside professional to fix people. It was usually kicked off with assessments, which in my opinion do have their place in development but can’t be a substitute for a boss who is too spineless to tell it like it is.

Coaching has since evolved to be an invaluable tool for high performers and high potential employees who need to speed up their development. It almost always adds value and delivers exceptional results. We still do turnaround work, but we charge a lot because it is dangerous: it is time consuming and rarely yields the desired result. We really try to avoid selling expensive approaches that may very well not work—because, frankly, it’s bad for business. But when clients insist, we go in with eyes wide open and we are very upfront about the hazards.

At the risk of offending you, we would probably suggest you get a little coaching yourself to see if you can make the needed impact without the expense and potential insult of essentially forcing a coach on G. Ask yourself:

• What part have I played in this situation? What might I have done differently?
• How did I let this go on for so long? What kept me from setting proper boundaries and making direct requests?
• Are there any other situations where I might be doing this right now?
• How might I nip this kind of thing in the bud in the future?
• What changed for G—one minute she was a rock star and then she wasn’t? Did the market change? The company processes? Did she have some kind of personal problem she wasn’t able to recover from?
• Did G lose a key personal motivator? The science of motivation has taught us that we need the right mix in the areas of autonomy, relatedness, and competence. Was G suddenly tasked with learning a new software she just couldn’t master? Did she lose her best friend at work? Did she get a new boss who started breathing down her neck and micromanaging in such a way that put her on tilt?
• Am I willing to have a brutally honest conversation with G in which I just ask the questions and listen deeply to her answers?

In any event, working with a coach yourself will not be wasted time or effort.

Now, back to the problem of G. Why is Turnaround coaching such a rocky road? So many reasons.

Lack of clarity: We are often asked to have the coach give the client—in this case, G—feedback they have never heard before. Managers—in this case you—are often convinced that feedback and requests have been shared and clarified, but that is rarely the case. You may have said things clearly, but you would be surprised at how easy it is for some people to tune out what they don’t want to hear. What you think sounds like a request might have sounded like a suggestion to G. Your observations about unacceptable behaviors might have been mistaken for input rather than clear requests. Many managers are so worried about damaging the relationship that critical requests can easily end up soft-pedaled and unclear. So for the coaching to make a real difference, you must be prepared to give G crystal clear feedback on what she is doing or not doing that is not working, with crystal clear examples of what would be acceptable. Ask G to repeat it all back to you. Then have her put it in writing.

Lack of measurement: Often the boss is unable to identify desired results that are measurable. They claim they “will know success when they see it.” This is a madly waving red warning flag for us! The results we are looking for must be black and white. Either something is done correctly or it’s not. There can’t be any room for subjective opinions. We like to suggest an “always/never” list. Always do this. Never do that. It lends some real grit to the task at hand.

Lack of consequences for noncompliance: Change is hard. Most people need to truly understand the rationale behind the desired change—and even when they do, they need to feel the discomfort or even the pain of not changing. The neuroscience of goal achievement tells us that we are likely to take actions to avoid pain. The negative consequence for G not making the desired changes needs to be real—and dire. Demotion or actual termination is what I am talking about here. And it can’t be just a threat. You must be ready to do it.

Do you hate me yet? I kind of do. Did I say this was hazardous? Yes, I did.

It is hard to change perception: People tend to commit to their opinion of those who annoy them. Even if G does make significant changes, it might be hard for those around her to see and acknowledge the changes. It is very difficult to change stakeholders’ impressions, even in the face of direct evidence. So if you need to see changes in the way G works with others in the organization, she is going to have to discuss her coaching with each person and ask them for help—not only constant feedback when she reverts to old behaviors, but also a chance to shift on the fly. G is going to need to involve others in her quest to improve. This takes an awful lot of courage. She may or may not have it.

Sometimes it’s the fit: There is always a good chance that G is simply in the wrong job or the wrong organization. Maybe there have been so many changes around G that it will never be right. Some clients really should consider that what they need to be successful is a different environment. You need to be prepared for the possibility that the safe environment and soul searching she finds in coaching may result in her choosing to leave the organization. Sometimes this actually the best-case scenario.

Some people are not willing or able to change: There are many potential reasons why G is underperforming. Maybe she is trying to get back at someone. Maybe she has serious personal problems. Speculation is a waste of time, but the truth is that maybe G either isn’t willing to step up and do the work or just can’t. The coach will know within the first three months if G is committed—and G needs to know that the coach will have that conversation with her. Good coaches know when they are being “yessed.” The coach, in all good conscience, should end the coaching if that happens.
Nobody wants to think they need to be fixed: Do you? I sure don’t. So the whole thing needs to be set up carefully and G needs to know you have her best interests and her career success at heart.

Need a Fix, you might want to start by having a bona fide heart-to-heart with G. You may be able to avoid the whole coaching thing this way, especially considering you’ve already tried it. Maybe if G feels safe enough to explore what is true for her, you can reach some kind of resolution. It is worth a try.

Good luck—this is a tough one.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

My team is losing it. I have eleven employees, all of whom are used to coming into the office daily with the occasional WFH day for doctor appointments, big deliveries, that kind of thing. When we all were told to WFH a few weeks ago, I thought getting everyone set up with the technology would be the biggest hurdle. I was wrong.

It. Is. Not. Going. Well.

• Two employees have young children who are supposed to be doing school at home. The kids are running amok.

• A few people have high school or college kids who are out there running around, doing God-knows-what and making their parents sick with worry.

• Two employees are taking care of elderly parents because the regular caregivers stopped showing up. They are trying to figure out how to keep the folks safe and in groceries.

• One person is quarantined with a new boyfriend who, it turns out, is not a nice guy.

• Two people live alone and are so lonely, I can feel the loneliness vibrating through the phone. They IM me in the middle of the day and ask what I am doing.

• I am almost 100% certain that one person is day drinking. Others have talked about problems with eating junk food while they are stuck at home and have gained weight and feel cruddy about it.

How do I know all of this? Because they all tell me. Everything. I’m not sure how it happened, but suddenly I feel like a full-time therapist. This has not always been the case. I’ve always maintained proper boundaries when we were all at work. But now life and work are all scrunched together and it is messy. I feel like my historically very solid team is made up of a bunch of lunatics who can’t get a hold of themselves.

We are all sick of conference calls where everyone is on camera. I am tired of looking at people’s messy hair and sweatshirts. I am tired of hearing cats, dogs and screaming children in the background of every call. BOY, am I sick of people’s children.

Frankly, I am sick of people’s lives interfering with their work. What can I do to stop the madness?

Sick of It All

Dear Sick of It All,

All of life is certainly being thrown into the blender right now, all on camera, and messy is right.

I worked from home for many years, and people would always ask me how I stayed focused and managed to not just watch TV all day. I always just treated my working hours like working hours—and it never crossed my mind to not just work during my working hours. My kids were trained, literally from birth, that when Mommy was working, she was not to be disturbed. My team was made up of professionals who behaved the same way. I never realized until this new WFH explosion how much most people rely on the structure of coming to work to manage themselves as human beings in relation to all of their other commitments.

But it makes sense. We create daily routines, practices, habits, and boundaries to be successful at work. When all of those get blown up in one fell swoop, well, you get what you’ve got—which is a 3-ring circus.

You’re already doing something very right, which is listening. People will tell you stuff only if you listen—so if you feel like your group’s therapist, at least you know you have their trust. This is not nothing. It is a really good thing to have going for you. Well done.

Now you need to step up as a leader and rise to this occasion. It’s time for you to stop judging and blaming your people—who, to be fair, have no prior experience in how to handle themselves in this new environment. It’s time for you to put yourself in service to your people. It’s time, Sick of It All, for you to suck it up and lead.

Stop complaining about the chaos. It’s your job to create order. You’ve allowed your team to drop their professionalism and default to just scraping by. It’s your job to call on your people to get a grip and step up to meet this new challenge. It’s time for you to step into the ring and be the ring master. Put on the top hat; pick up the megaphone. And keep the whip and chair handy. You may need them.

Here are some ideas for how to tackle this situation:

• Call a mandatory team meeting as soon as possible. Make the entire meeting about chartering the team to function at its best under the current circumstances. Share your observations about the reality you’re observing; i.e., how messy things have become. Say that you need to call a time out, get a re-do, and start over with some new rules. Share that you have some ideas for some possible rules but that you want the team to create them together. Have everyone on the team share their biggest challenges and brainstorm as a group how you might help each other overcome each one. No blame, no judgment, just reality. Discuss what would work best as norms that each team member can adhere to. The more you can agree as a team, the more likely everyone will make the effort to comply with the team standards.

• Reduce the number of group meetings to a bare minimum. The fewer meetings you all have, the easier it will be to be on best behavior for each one. Here’s an article you can share with your folks about how to best manage the home situation to meet the needs of working parents.

• Request that every team member come to any and all required meetings dressed for work. You can be a role model for looking like you are at work. My own boss—who is easily putting in 12-to-14-hour days—showed up on a 6:30 am call this morning in full makeup, superb hair and her usual elegant professional outfit, complete with jewelry. I guarantee that all 127 employees on the call noticed and sat up a little straighter. It makes a difference.

• Try experimenting with shifting work hours. Some of your people may find it easier to go back to work after the kids have gone to bed. It might help to give some of your employees the flexibility they need to meet all of their responsibilities.

• Have one meeting a week that’s just for connection and fun. Presumably, you are all in the same time zone, so you could do a coffee hour, lunch time, or maybe a happy hour where everyone comes dressed as their favorite rock star, animal, etc. And everyone gets to introduce their significant others, kids, or pets. One of our sales leaders recently showed up to a web conference as Britney Spears before her famous meltdown. It will be talked about forever and become part of company lore.

• Work with each individual to tackle their more private challenges. Be in touch with your HR leader to get details on your company’s Employee Assistance Program—it almost certainly has one. EAPs can address a broad and complex body of issues affecting mental and emotional well-being, such as stress, grief, family problems, psychological disorders, or alcohol/other substance abuse. As a lifelong addict (cigarettes—I’m not proud of it and have used the AA system to manage it my entire adult life), I can attest that addictions are skulking in the corner waiting for just the right crisis to pounce. I’m grateful to have an addiction, because it has given me a lot more compassion than I would otherwise have. I think it would be nearly impossible for someone to understand just what a struggle addiction can be if they’ve never experienced it themselves. If you don’t have any experience with managing one of your own, I encourage you to dig deep to find some compassion. I think it’s fair to share your suspicions with your day drinking employee and simply request that they wait until the end of the workday to indulge. Maybe it would be as simple as saying “I notice the work you do toward the end of the day tends to have more errors. I wonder if you might think about taking a stretch break in the afternoon?” It’s easy to rationalize behavior when we think no one notices, so just making the person aware that someone is paying attention might do the trick. Of course, if you’re worried that bringing it up may damage the relationship, don’t do it. You’ll use your best judgment. The thing that matters most is the quality of the work, so stay focused on that.

• Be clear with each of your people that if there’s ever a time for them to call in the cavalry, it’s now. There’s no shame in asking for help. I just saw an interesting article today about the dangers of extreme loneliness. Combined with the toxic effects of anxiety and depression, it’s no joke and should be taken very seriously. Don’t be the only one that your lonesome, stressed employees lean on—it’s too much for one person.

The fundamental requirement for being successful at work is that your people be:

1. Crystal clear on expectations and deliverables; and
2. Constantly reminded how vital they are and how valuable their contribution is.

Your job is to make sure that each team member stays focused on their daily tasks and is clear about how they add value. This will keep them more engaged and also set the stage for you to re-charter the way your team operates under these new, extremely challenging conditions.

A fun e-book about the qualities of High Performance Teams can be found here—and any practices you glean from it will help you under any circumstance. But for now, you need immediate help on how to rally your troops, right this minute. Here is a useful article on leading in a virtual environment—and there is a free webinar on the topic coming up on April 16.

I really do hear your frustration. It’s hard. You’re probably reading all these suggestions and thinking “OMG, this is so much more work for me.” Yes. Yes, it is. Leadership is figuring out what to do when there’s no one to tell you what or how to do it. Leadership is going the extra mile (or ten) to help your people thrive and shine. No one is going to fix this for you. You’ve got yourself and your team and you’re going to have to muddle through it together. It’s up to you to call the reality as you see it and extend the invitation to your team to pull it together and re-group. You can be firm with your expectations as long as you are also patient, kind, and generous.

Remember to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself so that you can be the leader your people need right now. The good news is that by the end of this experience, you’ll be a stronger leader in general and you’ll have a whole new set of skills. This is your chance to become the leader you were truly meant to be.

Love, Madeleine

PS: I know, children are annoying. And Other People’s Children (referred to as OPCs in our household, along with OPDs—Other People’s Dogs) are even more so. Just remember that they are the future. Somebody’s ten-year-old is going to do your hip replacement in 30 years, or will be your dependable plumber, mayor, or dentist. And your employees or someone just like them had to raise her. So when you hear one in the background sounding like a howler monkey, you can console yourself with that thought.

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I have an amazing team except for one person. I’ve provided ample opportunities for this person to step up and she just isn’t picking up on them. I can’t tell what is going on. She seems bright enough. She can work hard—I’ve seen it—so I don’t think it is laziness.

Also, I’m about to hire a few more people and am wondering how to avoid hiring someone like her.

Exasperated

Dear Exasperated,

I have always said that a manager must not be more interested in an employee’s development than the employee is. And that may be the case here—but let’s check it out first.

The first order of business is to have a conversation with your person in which you explain your point of view. This is going to require you to be direct but kind. It is entirely possible that she hasn’t picked up on opportunities because she was waiting for explicit direction from you. Not everyone picks up on cues, especially if they are implied versus direct.

Be more directive and provide more touchpoints regarding her professional growth. The key here is for you to properly communicate and partner with your employee so that you understand her hopes and dreams and can allow her to drive her own development. Give this a serious try for at least a couple of months. You might feel as if you are micromanaging, but in some cases that’s what people need.

What if, after you have tried this approach, your employee still doesn’t show any ambition? One option may be to change her title to technical specialist or something similar and just stop worrying about her career path. Lots of organizations are filled with people who are perfectly happy to stay right in their lane without much growth or change—but in some organizations, the trajectory is “up or out.” If you know you’ve really given it a shot, and it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards, then you can decide what to do about it.

Now about your prospective hires. It sounds like you are looking for some key traits in your candidates. Research supports the idea that job seekers with the following four attributes are predicted to have significantly higher levels of success in any new job.

1. Work attitude
2. A sense of accountability
3. Prior related job success
4. Culture fit

Work attitude can be described as a positive disposition or attitude toward work that persists across employment experiences. Candidates who demonstrate high degrees of work attitude:

• will go out of their way to describe negative experiences in the positive,
• find it hard to describe negative situations without sharing how the situation made them stronger, and
• have a deep need to work hard and produce results that make them proud.

A sense of accountability means the extent to which a person believes they have control over their own outcomes—also called locus of control. Candidates who demonstrate a high sense of accountability:

• are 40% more likely to succeed in any role,
• believe in themselves, and
• will stand up under pressure and refuse to play the victim.

Prior related job success—the degree to which the candidate has met formal goals in past jobs that are similar to the job at hand. This is, of course, the most obvious factor and the one hiring managers pay the most attention to. It is important, but not the only important thing.

• Candidates who have achieved success in prior jobs, athletics, academics, or other meaningful pursuits are significantly more likely to succeed.
• Both success and failure become habits throughout a career.

Culture fit is the degree to which the candidate shares similar values with the organization and demonstrates an authentic interest in the job at hand. In this case, you clearly are creating the culture in your group and you need to hire people who will fit your standards for ambition and desire to develop.

• Effective hiring processes attract candidates who have similar values and repel candidates who do not.
• It is imperative for interviews and testing in the hiring process to identify honest, hardworking, and positive candidates.

You are going to want to do behavioral interviewing to find out an applicant’s history and assess for these four traits. For an in-depth guide on behavioral interviewing, look here.

Ideally, you have HR professionals who can help you with this. If not, you will be on your own to do your own crash course in hiring! In my experience, hiring is 90% of the battle when it comes to getting the right people in the right jobs. Everything else is tweaking the details.

Good luck on both challenges!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a ruminator. I second-guess everything I do. My wife is tired of me spending hours every night going over and over the events of the day.

I work in finance and have a lot of technical expertise in my field. My organization counts on me for their reports, budgets, etc. I’m comfortable with generating the numbers, but when people want to talk about forecasting I get really anxious. I’m so afraid of making a mistake and causing some future disaster that I go over every interaction with a fine-tooth comb and think it into the ground.

This thing is getting worse, not better. I have to find a way to change because it’s getting harder and harder to be me. I have never met anyone who has this problem—where should I start?

Ruminator

Dear Ruminator,

It does indeed sound like it is very hard to be you. I’m so sorry. Self-awareness is always a big plus, so articulating your unpleasant work life is a great start. Now that you recognize just how uncomfortable you are, there is a chance you might do something about it.

Rumination is normal. We all do it. When it becomes a habit, though, it can be thought of as obsessive. It’s easy for thinking patterns to become habits because, as a neuroscientist might say, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” In other words, the more you use a certain mental pathway, the more it becomes a rut for your thoughts to get trapped in.

I want to avoid getting into the neuroscience weeds, but research shows that when a person gets regularly trapped in constant negative rumination, it can be a sign of depression. I highly encourage you to take advantage of your Employee Assistance Program to get some therapy and explore if you think that might be the case with you.

In the meantime, here are two things you can do that will make an immediate difference.

• Exercise. It’s proven that exercise can alleviate anxiety and interrupt undesirable thinking patterns. You don’t need to join a gym, hire a trainer, or anything fancy or expensive. Just get outside for a walk in the middle of the workday or after work. The closer to nature you can get, the better—so if you can drive to a park, do it.

• Choose what happens in your head. When you’re not thinking about anything in particular, choose to be mindful instead of letting your mind wander in what is known as the “default network.” Mindfulness is defined as “(1) Self-regulation of attention so that it is maintained on immediate experience, thereby allowing for increased recognition of mental events in the present moment; (2) Adopting a particular orientation toward one’s experiences in the present moment—an orientation that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.”

By practicing mindfulness, you can choose to pay attention to sensory information coming in. What you pay attention to is what you are conscious of. Again, you don’t need to take a class (although that may help). Just pay attention to what you’re paying attention to, and consciously change it if it isn’t useful. A ton of websites are available that can teach you more about this and offer tips. This one might be a good place to start.

There is plenty of credible research about how both exercise and mindfulness can help you re-wire your brain and stop your downward spiral. You really have nothing to lose by trying both of them.

Finally, I offer what I have found to be a very interesting perspective. For years, I was often struck by how habitual time orientation affected the mental well-being of my clients. In 2008 (an oldie but goodie) Philip Zimbardo* wrote a book called The Time Paradox, which specifically reflected what I had observed. In the book, Zimbardo makes the case for how our personal time orientation influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions for better and for worse. I think you might benefit from understanding and shifting your own time orientation. The Time Paradox website has a quick self-assessment you can use to get started. Fun, interesting—and again, you really have nothing to lose except how hard it is to be you right now.

And your wife will be so happy!

Love, Madeleine

*Psychology wonks will recognize the name—Zimbardo conducted the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment.

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I really messed up—and I’m so embarrassed I’m thinking of quitting my job. I yelled at one of my direct reports during a team meeting.

I was very tired because I had been up all night with a sick kid, and I was super stressed because several of my own deadlines were looming. She just kept pushing and pushing her own point of view about a decision that already had been made two weeks earlier.

At first I tried to be diplomatic by saying, “Okay, we need to move on.” But she just kept going: “I think this is going to cause big problems for us; you should reconsider; blah blah blah.” I finally interrupted her and let her have it. In front of everyone. I don’t even remember what I said, but I know I raised my voice. All of the faces on the web conference just looked shocked.

My boss is in Thailand on vacation, so I can’t talk to him. I am beside myself and really need some input.

Lost It

Dear Lost It,

Geez, don’t quit. There really is no need for that. That would be short-sighted and would really hurt your career, not to mention ruin your boss’s vacation. Just the fact that everyone was so shocked makes it clear to me that this is not a habitual thing. So get a grip.

You have clearly broken trust. Here is a great blog post by our trust expert Randy Conley that will give you step-by-step directions on how to rebuild it.

The first order of business is an apology. This will be time consuming, but you need to apologize to each member of the team individually. Ask someone you trust on your team about what you actually said so that you can apologize properly. With any luck, you didn’t call Pushy McPush Push any names, and you didn’t use profanity or obscenities—but you do need to find out just how bad the damage is.

Once you know exactly what you did that was so awful, go to the object of your ire and tell her you are sorry. No excuses, no ifs, no buts. Just “I am sorry. I am really sorry. Please forgive me.” You can promise that you will work hard to do better in the future.

Then do the same with each person who was on the call. You obviously take your job very seriously and are very chagrined that this happened, so I am guessing your people will cut you some slack. We are all only human. Sometimes our pre-frontal cortex, which is in charge of self-regulation, just gives out. On top of being short of sleep and concerned about your workload, I’ll bet your blood sugar was low or maybe you were dehydrated. This might be a good time to review your own self care routine so that you can stay more balanced in the future. You might be able to make some small changes to ensure you never go ballistic at work again.

Once you have properly apologized, you will want to review what made your team member engage in the behavior that put you over the edge. Did you not properly hear everyone out before the decision was made? Or is there an expectation that once decisions are made it is okay to revisit them? This may be an opportunity to discuss team norms around decision making—it sounds like everyone may not be on the same page.

You are going to be fine, Lost It, I promise. Everybody behaves badly sometimes. It’s okay. Apologize, make a few changes so that it doesn’t happen again, and move on.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“I don’t have enough hours in the day to get my work done.”

It’s a common complaint I hear from my coaching clients—especially those who are newer to a management role. Very often when we are talking about their workload I notice that they are taking on “monkeys” that aren’t theirs.

Monkeys? you might be thinking. What? Several years ago, Ken Blanchard coauthored a book with William Oncken, Jr. and Hal Burrows called The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey. The “monkey” represents the ownership or responsibility for an unsolved problem or an incomplete task.

Let me give you an oversimplified example—one I sometimes share with my coaching clients—about taking on monkeys. Picture this:

A manager is in their office trying to work on their strategic plan for next year. One of their direct reports drops by. The direct report says, “Hey boss, I can’t get hold of Steve to get the numbers for the report I’m compiling for next week’s off-site meeting.” (This is the unsolved problem or incomplete task.) The boss says something like, “Well leave it with me and I’ll try to reach Steve.” In an instant, the boss has taken on the direct report’s “monkey.” The direct report skips down the hall with that monkey off their back. Over the course of a day, this happens with other direct reports. Soon the manager is weighed down with monkeys and no longer has time to work on their own strategic plan.

More often than not, the person I’m coaching relates to this and sees themselves in the story. The question follows: What to do?

Here are a couple of strategies I’ve developed with my clients as they learn to deal with their own office monkeys.

Slow down and reflect. When a direct report drops by with a problem, ask yourself whose problem, job, or task it is. Most of the time, the problem belongs to the direct report.

Ask a few open-ended questions. Help the direct report think through the situation. For example, ask, “How are you reaching out to Steve? Might there be another way?” Maybe the direct report is emailing Steve when it might be better to pick up the phone or go by and see Steve. Another question might be, “If you can’t reach Steve, what are other ways you can get the data?” If more help is needed, you could brainstorm with the direct report to figure out other options. Helping them think things through will often get things moving and keep the monkey firmly with its owner—the direct report.

Make sure your direct report knows their next move. Before the conversation is over, confirm the action the direct report is going to take with their monkey so you can get back to your own work.

I’m not proposing that managers abdicate their responsibility for providing direction and support. I’m just suggesting that managers help direct reports find ways to solve their own problems and tasks.

The reality is that consistently following this procedure will help your direct reports grow into self-reliance—which makes this a win-win situation for everybody!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I started a new job as a senior leader for a large manufacturing firm about four months ago—and I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of the disaster I’ve walked into. All I heard about when I first came on was how much everyone loved my predecessor, how smart he was, how much he got done, and how much fun he was. It seemed that he generated incredible results. He sounded like Superman.

The further I got into the details, the more clear it was to me that the results were, indeed, incredible—because they were faked! But get this: he wasn’t fired, he quit. So nobody, including senior leadership, knows about this.

To make matters worse, he was everybody’s best friend. He never set goals with his people, gave feedback, or did performance reviews. He somehow charmed HR into letting him off the hook, but now I am being held accountable and my people aren’t used to anyone actually acting like a boss.

I don’t want to trash this guy—it wouldn’t make me any friends and it just isn’t my thing. But how on earth am I supposed to get things back on track here without making people hate me?

New Guy

Dear New Guy,

The last time I worked with a client in this position, she thought she was alone—but it turned out that the wool hadn’t been pulled over everyone’s eyes. I’ll bet if you diplomatically poke around, you will find the same thing. When the emperor has no clothes, there are always a few people who can see it.

It’s imperative that you come clean with your boss and your HR business partner. You can’t fight this fight alone. You may find out that they know all about it—that your predecessor was, in fact, fired, and they are testing you. That would be messed up, but I’ve seen it happen. However, if the news is all a big surprise to them, you will want to be gentle and stick to the facts. No need to call anyone names or place blame. Just share what you have uncovered as dispassionately and objectively as possible. Either way, you’ll create a few allies and buy yourself a little time to become the model manager.

Then do what you can to figure out what the true past results should have been and share that information upward. Your team doesn’t really need to know, and you might be able to preserve their fond idea of him.

Once you get a sense of the actual results, you can set your goal numbers a little above those—at least for starters. Approach your team by talking about team goals at first. You don’t have to trash the big faker; just talk about yourself. Share that you are goal oriented and a fan of goals and goal setting. Heck, show them this video of Ken Blanchard talking about it. Teach your people how to set goals and make it clear that you expect everyone on the team to have their own. You can also share your experience with giving feedback to help people stay on track.

Make clear that you think it is your job to help the business succeed by helping your people to succeed, and you want nothing more than each person’s success. Be kind. Be fair. Be patient. Go slowly and carefully and you will be okay. Yes, people may still hate you at first, but once they see you truly mean them no harm, they will stop hating you. And just remember, none of it is personal.

Forge ahead, do as well as you can, and stay positive. Everything is going to be okay.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I work in a very matrixed organization. My actual boss works remotely and I seldom interact with him one-on-one, but we have a team lead on every project.

In my work group, we all work on different projects as they come in. One of my peers in another group is causing real problems for me. He never keeps his agreements and tends to hold up every project he is involved with. I’ll call him B.

He agrees to his role and then makes excuses, but no one in charge seems to know or care. It isn’t my job to give B feedback—and I wouldn’t know what to say—but it’s getting to the point that everyone in my group tries to avoid working with whatever group he is in.

I was just invited to be on a really fun and interesting project that I said yes to, but I heard B will be on it. I have a good relationship with that team lead, and I’m thinking of giving him the heads up about the chaos B causes.

What do you think? I hate to tattle, but I also hate knowing what’s going to happen and doing nothing.

Tattler

Dear Tattler,

This sounds like mayhem. The only way the matrix can work is if there is some solid oversight and everyone can be trusted to pull their weight. The fact that you are having this conundrum is an indication of poor leadership—because sometimes if everyone is a leader, no one actually has to step up and take responsibility. There’s a lot to be gained in terms of nimbleness and creativity with matrix organizing principles, but this is a classic example of one the potential downsides.

I understand this doesn’t really help you.

This might: Think about your basic values. What you are reacting to is the general unfairness of the situations caused by B. Unfairness essentially reduces all of us to four-year-olds. It literally affects brain function. It is important to be aware of this so that you don’t do something that is not aligned with your values and that you may regret. You may think that reporting someone’s past bad behaviors to an authority is the right thing to do, but your choice of label for yourself – “tattler”—indicates that you would judge yourself poorly. Frankly, you seem to be judging yourself for even thinking about it.

I sense some real doubts there, which leads me to say: don’t do it. I’m not sure what you would have to gain, but you definitely would have the respect of the team lead to lose. Because, as you well know, nobody likes a tattle tale.

Here’s what you can do. As the assignments are being divvied up, ask the group what the consequences are for slipping on deadlines. Agree as a group how you will behave. Keep your own commitments and acknowledge when others keep theirs. The first time B shows up with an excuse, call out that his lateness is going to slow everyone down and refer back to original agreements of the group. If the group doesn’t step up, then you can talk to the team lead and mention it isn’t the first time you have seen this behavior from B. You don’t have to be mean about it, just truthful and factual. Then it is the team lead’s problem.

Also, I would recommend that you make it a priority to develop a relationship with your actual boss. He is probably so busy that he figures no news is good news and that if you needed him, he’d hear about it. But you don’t want to be in touch only when there is a problem.

In my world view, it is your boss’s job to know his people and make sure they have what they need to succeed—but since that isn’t happening, you need to step up and be on his radar. Get on his calendar and be prepared with a list of all your projects so that he knows who you are and what you’re up to. To the extent possible, research his goals and priorities and ways you might be able to help him. Maybe then, when you really need his influence, he’ll have your back.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Want a more purposeful, aligned, and engaged organization? “Make sure managers and direct reports are taking a collaborative approach to performance,” says Susan Fowler, senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies and coauthor of the company’s Self Leadership training program.

“It starts with agreed-upon goals,” Fowler continues.

“In my early days as a consultant, I was asked by leaders of an organization to help improve telephone communication skills. I soon realized that the organization wasn’t actually interested in general telephone skills but only wanted to address the mistakes being made at their front desk—especially the negative feedback from employees and customers about one telephone operator in particular. I decided to work directly with the operator on goal setting.

“She had been in her role for a long time but her manager had never attempted to work with her on setting goals—he had only expressed frustration about the complaints. Her service position was primarily reactive and the manager had found it too challenging to set goals for a job where there was little control.

“She and I tackled the negative feedback regarding mistakes by setting a goal to reduce mistakes by 50 percent over the next two months. We identified actions she could take to improve accuracy and customer service. We also asked company employees to monitor their messages for mistakes and to report any customer complaints.

“After a couple of months, I checked in and was dismayed to learn that inaccuracies and complaints had actually increased! We attributed the bad news to the fact that we had brought attention to the problems and asked for feedback. We decided to consider the feedback a gift and began analyzing the data we’d received.

“Together, we discovered that most of the mistakes were occurring between the hours of 2:00 and 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time. When the business day ended in the Eastern and Central Time zones, calls were routed to the California office. The extra volume was too much for one person to handle, putting an unreasonable expectation on the operator and her ability to deal with calls in a friendly and effective manner.

“The data gave us the evidence we needed to ask for help. We asked the operator’s manager to put a second person at the switchboard for those two hours. Two months later, the operator had not only achieved but exceeded her goal,” says Fowler. “It was a simple solution—but without a collaborative goal-setting approach, we never would have understood the underlying cause of her poor performance. She would have continued to get negative feedback—and maybe lost her job.”

That’s why Fowler is so adamant about approaching goal setting as a joint responsibility where managers and team members work together to clarify expectations, identify challenges, and develop a plan for accessing the resources each person needs to succeed.

“Managers and direct reports need to sit down and talk about what it would look like if each of them were doing the best possible job. It is a rich, deep conversation that clarifies expectations on both sides about what the job is and how they can work together to create alignment in a way that is effective, engaging, and worth pursuing.”

Rethinking SMART goals

Fowler says this type of approach requires tweaking the SMART goal criteria used in most organizations.

“Most people know SMART as specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and trackable. At Blanchard, we recommend changing the M to motivating.”

Fowler explains that if managers don’t explore a team member’s motivation and create a way for each individual to connect their work to personally meaningful values, the manager ends up having to hold them accountable.

“Managers who focus on only being specific and measurable in goal setting end up spending their time holding people accountable. Why? Because the goals weren’t personally inspiring to the direct report. Help people be accountable so you don’t have to hold them accountable.”

Fowler teaches managers to make sure they have a conversation with each direct report where they explore the individual’s self motivation to achieve each goal. This ensures the person’s motivation isn’t dependent on external factors they can’t control.

“When someone can connect a goal to their personal values, the result will be a person who is accountable—because they have clarified, negotiated, or reframed the goal in a way that is personally meaningful and important. That’s a key learning objective in our Self Leadership program. We teach individual contributors that when they are given a goal, it is their responsibility to:

• Clarify the goal if it is unclear
• Negotiate if they don’t believe the goal is fair or relevant to their job
• Reframe a goal if it’s not personally compelling or in line with their values or sense of purpose

“Working collaboratively to clarify, negotiate, or reframe goals sets up a joint accountability between manager and direct report that leads to goal achievement.”

From goal setting to goal achievement

Clear goals set the stage and make it easier for the manager to provide the appropriate levels of direction and support a person needs to get the job done, says Fowler.

“The reality is that most managers have their own work goals at the same time they are managing the work of others. I’m always surprised when organizations expect managers to be aware of what is going on inside the heads of every one of their direct reports while they are each working on their different tasks.  We know from experience that even our loved ones—the people we are closest to—often don’t know what we are thinking. Why would we expect managers to know what each of their direct reports is thinking?

“At Blanchard, we teach managers and direct reports how to use a shared language to describe the four stages of development everyone goes through when presented with a new goal or task. This ranges from enthusiastic beginner when someone is just starting out, through the motivational dip we describe as disillusioned learner, to capable, but cautious contributor as they build competence and commitment, and finally, to self-reliant achiever when they’ve mastered the task.

“When managers and direct reports have a shared understanding of development levels, it provides them with a means to have effective conversations every step of the way. Now a person can go to their manager and say, ‘I’m at the D1 level of development (or the enthusiastic beginner stage) on this goal. I’m excited about the challenge but since I’ve never done it before, I need direction from you.’”

A shared language also makes it easier for the manager to respond appropriately and more effectively, says Fowler.

“If an individual needs direction, a manager can immediately provide it or find a resource that can. This same shared language can make it easier for a manager to say, ‘I don’t know how to do that either—let’s find a resource for you.’

“When goal achievement is pursued as a collaborative responsibility, it gives the manager permission to talk about other resources and ways of getting the team member what they need.”

An important twist when engaging in one-on-ones

One additional recommendation Fowler has for managers is to share ownership of one-on-one meetings.

“A lot of people think the one-on-one should be driven by the manager.  What we’re saying is that the agenda for the one-on-one should be directed by the direct report. If the manager is leading the one-on-one, it’s pretty hard to distinguish it from other kinds of performance management discussions, such as goal setting or feedback conversations. When the direct report sets the agenda, they are saying, ‘I understand this is my goal. Here is the progress I’m making and here is what I need, either from you or from another resource, to keep moving forward.”

A key skill for today’s successful organizations

Fowler encourages leadership, learning, and talent development professionals at companies of all sizes to consider how they can bring a more collaborative approach to leadership in their organizations.

“In the last 15 years I have seen a tremendous increase in research that identifies the importance of self leadership. In fact, increasing the proactive behavior of individual contributors has been identified as the single most important ingredient for the success of organizational initiatives.

“Teaching people how to use a shared language to self diagnose and partner with their managers is a great way to get started. It creates an engaging and motivating environment for the individual and helps the manager and the entire organization move forward more quickly to succeed.

“Don’t delay—start using a more collaborative approach today!”

____________________________________________________________________________

Would you like to learn more about taking a collaborative approach to performance management? Join Susan Fowler for a free webinar!

Partnering for Performance: 3 Ways to Help Your Managers and Direct Reports Collaborate to Achieve Goals

March 27, 2019 / 9:00 a.m. Pacific / 12:00 p.m. Eastern / 4:00 p.m. UK Time / 4:00 p.m. GMT

If you are a leadership, learning, or talent development professional, you know that it takes two to optimize performance—the manager and the direct report. As their leader, your dilemma is how to encourage and facilitate the crucial relationship between the two.

In this webinar, bestselling business author Susan Fowler shares how you can promote a collaborative approach to performance management that has been proven to get results with high levels of engagement. Fowler reveals the latest research-based strategies on self motivation and how to combine it with the time-tested principles of Situational Leadership® II (SLII®)—the most widely-taught leadership development model in the world.

Participants will learn how to position performance management as a joint responsibility—with managers and direct reports working together to make sure they set clear, motivating goals and effectively diagnose competence and commitment on key tasks so that everyone has what they need to succeed.

You will explore how to help managers and team members:

• Take a top-down, bottom-up approach to SMART goal setting with a focus on motivation and task competence
• Build mutual accountability for achieving agreed-upon goals
• Take a situational approach to performance management where direct reports self diagnose their development level and ask for the direction and support they need to succeed

Fowler will share how this joint approach achieves outcomes faster, more efficiently, and with a greater sense of engagement. It’s a 1+1 = 3 approach that yields much better results than when managers and direct reports work independently.

Don’t miss this opportunity to get your managers and direct reports collaborating for goal achievement!

Use this link to register today!

Dear Madeleine,

I just read your article entitled 7 Tips for Letting Go as a Manager on Blanchard LeaderChat.

 I have a very simple question, but it’s one I have been struggling with: How do you delegate to someone who doesn’t want to do their job—and doesn’t really care if it gets done?

 We have no accountability in our office. One associate knows this and uses it to her advantage. She literally will not do anything she doesn’t want to do, no matter how many times I ask about a project.

 Our CEO does not like confrontation unless it’s about him confronting a manager, like me, about a project.

 Help!

Can’t Delegate

______________________________________________________________________

Dear Can’t Delegate,

I am so glad that you are reading LeaderChat! That blog was actually written by my colleague, coaching solutions partner Terry Watkins, so I asked her to weigh in on this response.

Terry says:

“It’s important to understand what is causing the associate to be disengaged. Your approach is going to be different based on your professional connection to the associate. Are you her manager, or are you a peer? As her manager, you may be more direct and firm, and you may incorporate an accountability measure. As a peer, you would try to be more persuasive and collaborative.

Delegation begins with planning. Follow these steps in order:

1. Identify the right person for the task.
2. Communicate the purpose and details of the task.
3. Establish a reasonable timeline with agreed-upon milestones and checkpoints.
4. Schedule times for monitoring progress to give feedback and accountability.

If you believe this associate is the right person for the project, this should set you up for success. If she is not meeting checkpoint deadlines, you and she need to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Be crystal clear on the need for and expectations of the project and why she is the best person to complete it. Ask her for her thoughts on the project, using open-ended questions or statements such as: What is getting in your way? Is there something you need that you aren’t getting? or Help me understand what is going on with you.

You want to get to the heart of the matter with the associate so that you really understand the motivation for her behavior. Don’t rush the conversation—recognize that it may take some time for her to open up. Create a safe environment by showing empathy, asking open-ended questions, and practicing active listening to show you care. Identify ways you can support her in completing the project, including regular one-on-one meetings that will allow you to monitor progress. If the associate continues to resist, a formal conversation about a performance improvement plan or transitioning to another role may be necessary.”

This is Madeleine again. Terry’s advice is sound—and it describes management, not confrontation.

How on earth does anything ever get done if there is no accountability? How does your CEO hold you accountable? Can you use his methods?

Do your best to actually manage the situation and see what happens. If the associate still refuses to do the job with all of the support and direction you are offering, she needs to go. Or if you get no support for hiring employees who actually want to work, maybe you need to go.

Good luck to you!

Love, Madeleine (and Terry!)

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Delegation and control are common topics with my coaching clients. They recognize the importance of delegation and how it can serve them, but some still struggle with letting go.

In order to free up space to be more strategic, have a greater impact, be more efficient, and achieve work/life balance, delegating appropriate tasks to others is necessary and even required for managers today. This can feel risky—especially if the leader is high controlling, is a perfectionist, or has a heavy workload. Effective leaders who climb the corporate ladder are skilled at delegating and developing people.

When delegating, room must be made for learners to try and fail, which takes extra time. Similar to Blanchard’s SLII® model, extra time is required in Style 1 (Directing) to provide details, show and tell how, monitor frequently, and give feedback to develop a team member on a new task. As the learner develops, the leader can eventually move to Style 4 (Delegating) and devote less time to the team member.

It takes time and planning to effectively develop others, but it’s worth it. Delegation and the development of others are linked together!

If internal issues are standing in the way of delegating, leaders must ask themselves what is causing the need for control. Why do I fear letting go and trusting others to do it correctly? Do I really believe I am the only one who can do it? Do I just want attention? Some managers simply enjoy the sense of accomplishment because they can complete the tasks quickly and accurately with no heavy brain power (cognitive strain).

Ready to start letting go? Here are seven tactics that will help you be more successful.

1. Create a detailed plan for transferring the task.
2. Be clear of the objectives and outcomes of the task.
3. Create a timeline.
4. Establish how and when you will monitor progress.
5. Do not make assumptions.
6. Create a safe space for learning and failures.
7. Provide timely feedback.

Many times, what stands in the way of managerial success is control. The leader’s need to remain in control of a task or project will eventually cause both leader and direct report to fall short of expectations. Delegating more will allow for growth opportunities and professional development for both you and your people. Use these suggestions, take a deep breath, and give it a try today!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I started a new job about six months ago. My boss warned me about one of my direct reports—he said she was argumentative and difficult.

For the first few months I thought she was okay, but now I’m beginning to see what my boss meant. She is hostile in meetings. She agrees to things and then tells others how much she disagrees with me. She does not keep her commitments and then gives me lame excuses when I call her on it.

Yesterday she sent me an email calling me names that made my jaw drop. She was rude and inappropriate to the point where I wonder if she might have a mental problem.

In the meantime, my boss was let go—and I don’t really feel comfortable taking this to my new boss. I am just blown away by this woman’s insubordination and I honestly don’t know what I should do next.

Tolerating Insubordination

Dear Tolerating,

Stop tolerating. Draw some boundaries. But first, do some research and groundwork.

I always recommend starting by giving folks the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she has good reasons to behave the way she is behaving. It’s possible that your former boss’s attitude toward her has put her on the defensive. You can certainly call for a sit-down. Share your experience and ask how you might be able to craft a more productive working relationship. For more direction on having a hard conversation, you can refer to a previous post in this column. See how that goes. Maybe you can turn this around.

I think as the new manager, it is your job to give it your best effort to make this work by making clear requests for changes and giving her a chance to improve her behavior. But if you get no traction, you have to be fierce and decisive or you risk getting dragged down very quickly. She can easily poison other employees against you and the company if she hasn’t already.

Call out unacceptable behaviors as soon as they happen and provide redirection. If you find yourself unable to do so, ask yourself what you are afraid of. What power does she have that she has been getting away with this nonsense since long before you arrived at the company? Probably none, but she has somehow cowed your former boss and is now doing it to you.

Put up the hand and make it stop. Talk to your new boss and your HR partner and start the process of documenting every time she does something that undermines the team. There is no reason for you to put up with nastiness and lack of productivity—how can you possibly get your work done? Maybe she will back down—people who are just plain bullies often do when challenged. But if she keeps it up, call the game and replace her with someone who will do the job, have a good attitude, and be a pleasure to work with. As you well know, you can teach skills but you must hire for attitude.

It is my experience that managers who spend the bulk of their time on bad apples like your direct report never, ever regret showing them the door. Get your ducks in a row and keep a record of the bad behavior—how beautiful that you have concrete evidence in an email!

Sometimes people behave so badly that we question our own assessment and even our sanity or theirs. You are at that point, which is way too far past the pale. So give it one last shot to get on the same page—and if it doesn’t work, just say no. No, no, no. No.

Love,

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am an experienced manager but I am in a situation that is stumping me. I have a large team, and we have a reputation for getting a lot done, very efficiently. One team member—L— has been with the team since before I took it over. She is in her early 40s, a single mom, and very good at her job.

The problem is that she is too nice. People on the team who are behind on their tasks always go to her for help. She is a wiz at certain obscure programs that we must use from time to time, and people get her to help them instead of learning the programs themselves.

L is very active with our company foundation and is often involved in big events that take up her time. She participates in several other committees for the company as well. I can’t keep track of them all. She is always the one to show up with a home-baked cake when there is something to celebrate. She even made gluten-free cupcakes recently for my birthday! She has to leave at a set time to pick up her kids from daycare and I know she goes home and does volunteer work.

This would be all fine and well if L didn’t miss her deadlines on a regular basis. We recently met for her performance review and I was chagrined to see that she hadn’t hit any of her goals at 100%. I was forced to give her a lower rating than I would have liked. I feel like a jerk because she is such a strong addition to the team. I don’t want to demotivate her. How can I fix this?

Feel Like a Jerk

Dear Feel Like a Jerk,

You clearly value your “giving” employee, as well you should. Adam Grant, a highly regarded organizational psychologist, has researched the phenomena he calls givers, takers and matchers, and has established that givers make organizations better. According to Grant, it is not unusual for givers to do less well on their performance metrics than takers or matchers. The key here is to find a way for L to win at work doing what she does naturally and well.

What if you were to shape into goals the things L does naturally, so that she is measured on things she will definitely excel at? Make her Team Den Mother (or come up with a name that suits) so remembering and honoring notable events among the team is a task she is measured on and acknowledged for. Make being a high contributing organizational citizen a goal and map out a limited number of committees she will be on and what her goals will be. Again, she will no doubt knock that out of the park.

Finally, you can designate one of her key responsibility areas as being an expert on certain processes or programs that the team uses. This way, when she spends time helping others, it is actually part of her job. This means some of her other tasks or goals will have to shift to others on the team.

Discuss this idea with L. She will probably help you think it through so that you can arrive at a fair way to recognize her contribution.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I run a small team for a large nonprofit. One long-term member of the team really knows the ins and outs of the organization and can be really helpful.

The problem is, he does a couple of things that drive everybody crazy. He often decides to do things—presentations, publications, project plans—differently from the way the team has decided or I have instructed. He over-focuses on details and tends to go off on tangents that take up valuable time in meetings and add no value.

He doesn’t report to me, but everybody is looking at me to stop his behaviors because his direct boss is a big softie. I don’t feel it’s my place to reign him in or give him feedback. And if I went out on a limb and gave him feedback, I might damage the relationship and lose the value he does bring to the team.

Do you agree?

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

I understand that you are not this person’s direct boss, but you are his superior and he does in fact create work product for you. Your team members are going to lose respect for you if don’t at least try to change the behavior that is annoying everyone. You need to take control here. Forget his actual boss—you can give him feedback on what you observe and the work he does for you and your team.

Many leaders are skittish about giving feedback. I understand it is uncomfortable, but it is part of the job. There is no shortage of advice out there about how to give feedback—and it is often belabored so I will keep it simple.

• This will help you to cut out unnecessary words and get to the point. Think about the offending behavior, the impact it has on you and the team, and the change you are requesting.
• Be brief, clear and direct. Don’t give vague second-hand feedback such as “People on the team think that…” Take responsibility. Share your own observations and leave everyone else out of it.
• Keep your tone warm, friendly, and neutral. The idea is not to criticize, it is to be clear and increase your chances of catalyzing change.
• Tell the person you are asking for the meeting so that you can give them some feedback and make a request for a change.
• Meet in private. No one wants an audience when being taken to task.

Now for the actual meeting.

• Share that giving feedback makes you uncomfortable, that your intention to is help him be more effective, and that you see it as your job to have the conversation.
• Ask if this is a good time for him to have the conversation. Most people say yes, but if he says no, schedule another time to do it. You never know when someone is having a terrible day, has other things on their mind, or just needs to prepare themselves emotionally. It can really derail the hard conversation when you find out that your direct report’s dog died that morning and they are ready for the teeniest thing to push them off balance and fall apart.
• Share your observation and make a request; e.g., “In the weekly planning meeting you are always well prepared, but often, like yesterday, you go off on a tangent and tell elaborate stories that are not relevant to the task at hand. It is my job to keep the meetings short and efficient, so I must ask you to stop doing that.”
• You may want to limit it to no more than 3 items—presumably, they will all be related. If you see the person getting overwhelmed, tell him you have more feedback but you will save it for another time after he has digested what he has heard.
• Share how you will respond the next time you experience the offending behavior; e.g., “The next time you go off on a tangent in the planning meeting, I will politely ask you to stop and refocus the conversation.”
• Give the person a chance to respond. They may act defensive, hurt, or otherwise emotional. Or they might be perfectly even keeled. They will ask questions and want more information. Do not elaborate—if pressed, repeat what you have already prepared and do not deviate. The more you go off script, the more you may seem to be negotiating the request, which you are not willing to do. This is not a negotiation, so do not let the person think it is. You may be a dotted line, but you are still the boss.

Sound like a lot? It is. Being a manager is hard—I am sorry.

You may lose the relationship. This is always a risk, but frankly it may be worth it to increase the effectiveness of the team. And if you are kind, clear, and direct, the person getting the feedback can choose to get upset and take it personally—but you are just telling the truth, not being a big meanie. Your actual direct reports will know that you give feedback when it is warranted and will trust you more. They will also be grateful, because who wants to be regularly annoyed? Life is hard enough without having to dread the planning meeting because one person is oblivious. So make it stop.

Be strong. You can do it. Or, do nothing and continue to pay the price.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In working with 149 adults from different business and networking groups, Matthews found that

• Those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals. (+18 percentage points)
• Those who sent their commitments to a friend accomplished significantly more than those who wrote action commitments or did not write their goals. (+21 percentage points)
• Those who sent weekly progress reports to their friend accomplished significantly more than those who had unwritten goals, wrote their goals, formulated action commitments or sent those action commitments to a friend. (+33 percentage points)

Importantly, Matthews found that the improvement held up on goals ranging from completing a project, increasing income, increasing productivity, getting organized, enhancing performance/achievement, enhancing life balance, reducing work anxiety or learning a new skill.

Ready to stack the deck in your favor with a key goal for this year?

1. Write it down.
2. Email it to a friend.
3. Set up a recurring meeting to send your friend a progress report.

Yes, you’ll be making yourself vulnerable and accountable—but you’ll also be setting yourself up for success.  Here’s to a successful and goal achieving 2018!

Learn more about Matthews study here.

The leader does the heavy lifting.  To be effective, a coaching conversation must be a two-way discussion.  Both the leader and the person being coached (i.e., the direct report) need to be engaged.  However, if the coachee doesn’t fully participate, it’s easy for the leader to do more of the heavy lifting.  This is like the leader driving a car with the direct report in the back seat, enjoying the ride.  It’s the opposite of what is meant to happen. Both parties must be active participants in the discussion.  When using a coach-like style, the leader’s job is to draw out the brilliance of the person being coached.

The leader creates dependency.  When a leader does all the work, it can create a dependency on the part of the direct report.  For instance, the direct report asks the leader to help with issues they can easily handle themselves—or they delay action or avoid a decision on a task.  In extreme cases, the direct report starts abdicating all decision making to the leader.  When this happens, a leader’s own work time gets eaten up, which can result in their needing to bring home work that could have been completed at the office.

The leader talks when they shouldn’t.  When leaders facilitate a coaching session, some find it hard not to offer up good ideas—especially if the coachee is quietly contemplating what to say. This scenario is fairly common since most people need time to think about a topic before they chime in.  A leader who wants to be more coach-like needs to give people the gift of silence—which is easier said than done.  One tactic I’ve suggested to clients is to envision themselves sitting on their hands versus jumping in to help.  If the coach can stay silent, they are less likely to impart their own knowledge and more apt to draw out brilliance from their direct report.

When appropriate, using a coaching style can be instrumental to the development of others.  When leaders encourage their people to do the work and to come up with their own ideas and solutions, direct reports become engaged and step into their growth, which is a beautiful thing!

Are there any other traps you’ve seen leaders fall into when trying to be more coach-like? Please share in the comments section below!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Hi Madeleine,

I run a business where we manage large projects and serve customers all day long. I have a new hire who just isn’t working out. She is rude to customers and makes constant errors. She needs to have instructions repeated again and again and just can’t seem to retain anything.

Last week I told her that it is possible she is not suited for our business and she might be happier doing something else. I was as diplomatic as I know how to be. She insisted she loves it here and that this is what she wants to do. Then she went and told everyone that I think she is terrible and I hate her.

What a mess. What on earth do I do now?

Made a Mess

Dear Made a Mess,

I’m not sure you can salvage this situation—and even if you could, I’m not sure you should. You may be right that your employee is not suited to the role if she not only has the undesirable qualities you first mentioned but also gossips to anyone who will listen.

My first instinct is to advise you cut your losses and let her go.

My second, more kind instinct is to suggest you sit down with her to have the difficult conversation. Explain that you don’t hate her; in fact, you want to help her succeed and do a reset.

My third instinct is to let you know that in my 28 years of coaching, I have not once had a client regret letting go of an employee that was taking up the bulk of their waking hours. So there you go.

To avoid this kind of thing in the future, put some focus on business fundamentals.

Hiring: My experience and research shows that hiring is 90 percent of the battle in getting the right fit for the role. Attention to detail and service orientation are inborn traits that are hard—maybe impossible—to train to people who don’t have them. As they say, it is easier to hire a squirrel than to train a chicken to climb a tree. It sounds like you could use some behavioral interviewing techniques. Once you find a new employee who seems to be a good fit, start with a three-month trial before going to a full time contract. This will give both you and the new hire time to assess the job and culture fit.

Onboarding: When you find that you’re always repeating yourself, it may be best to use checklists or put step-by-step instructions in writing. Create a manual accessible for new employees to review. You will also want to state your values, in writing. For example, if it is not okay for employees to gossip, this should spelled out in your values.

Use Situational Leadership® II: Our flagship product at The Ken Blanchard Companies is essentially a prescription for foolproof performance management, in which a leader provides exactly what the employee needs to be successful at any task or goal. You can read more about it here. In your case, you would need to provide consistent and repeated clear direction to help your employee succeed. Perhaps you aren’t good at that—or maybe she just can’t or won’t follow directions. In any event, this is a very worthwhile leadership model to know about.

It sounds as if you have been flying by the seat of your pants when it comes to performance management up until now. You’ll avoid trouble like this again in the future if you put some processes and systems in place to protect yourself from time sinks and embarrassments moving forward.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Then reality hits. Hundreds of emails, 22 meetings, and 17 “I just need a minute of your time” conference calls later and I struggle to recall what I was going to do differently. Where did I put my action plan? Oh, and that hour I booked into my calendar to take time to reflect and prepare? Well it just got sucked up by the boss asking me to (fill in your own situation here.)

The point is that we all have good intentions about applying learning—but those intentions can get waylaid by our work environment. What on earth might help? How can we get back on track?

Enter the coach. A coach will help you review what you learned and what excited you, and will discuss with you how to apply back on the job what you learned in training. A coach helps transfer learning from the classroom to the work environment in four ways.

• Accountability. Telling someone else what you are going to do is a powerful way to keep those intentions top of mind. A coach supports you in taking action to apply what you learned.
• Removing Obstacles. What is getting in the way of application? A coach helps you identify ways to overcome obstacles.
• Aligning Actions with Values. What makes this new skill important enough for you to apply the new learning? A coach will help you identify why taking action is a priority.
• Creating a Workable Plan. Finally, your coach will help you apply new skills incrementally, so that over time you will learn more, create new habits, and begin to see the results of your learning and application.

Don’t go it alone. Ask for a coach. A coach who is focused on supporting your learning will help you change your world by turning your learning experience into real action.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Leadership as a Partnership

“It’s unfair to expect a manager with multiple direct reports to figure out what each individual needs, let alone always provide it,” says leadership expert Susan Fowler. “Continue to invest in your managers, but leverage your investment by training the other side of the partnership—the direct reports. Don’t ignore half the equation. Make effective leadership everyone’s job.”

You can check out the entire September issue here. Want Ignite delivered to your InBox each month?  You can subscribe for free using this link.

Dear Madeleine,

I run a large team of developers. I am really concerned about one young man who has been with me for about a year. 

My crew seems to party pretty hard on the weekends, which I figure is none of my business.  The guy I am worried about negotiated at his first big review to work from home, which a lot of people do on occasion. I agreed because his work is consistently good and he is faster than almost everyone else.

One day last week, he wasn’t responding to my texts. I finally called him and when he picked up the phone he sounded like he was high.  On top of this, he often texts me in the wee hours of the morning with thoughts and ideas that are not necessarily coherent. 

I think the kid may have a substance abuse problem.  I guess I am supposed to go to HR, but I prefer to warn him and not involve the official people.

What do you think?

Worried

Dear Worried,

Well, you might start by reviewing your manager’s manual to ascertain when exactly you need go to HR.  There may be a link on your intranet that you have never visited.  At the very least, start documenting the odd behaviors—dates, times, specifics.

And then, absolutely, talk to him. That is your job.  Be direct.  Be sure you don’t accuse—just share your observations.  You don’t know if he has a problem. What you do know is that he is not all there during work hours.  You can tell him you don’t feel he is on his game when he works from home, and insist that he be accessible by IM or text during work hours.  Tell him that his after-hours texts seem odd to you, and request that he submit any thoughts or ideas in a coherent format during working hours. The 24/7 thing should be reserved for deadlines and emergencies.  Just be direct. Tell your truth without blame or judgment.  If he is smart, he will understand that it is a warning and he will clean up his act.  If he isn’t, or if it becomes obvious he is an addict, you will have to involve HR.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I can’t get what I need. My boss doesn’t understand me. My organization’s systems don’t work. I don’t have the resources I need. My job doesn’t take advantage of my strengths. No one appreciates me. My boss micromanages me. There’s no room for me to grow. They don’t understand how much I could be contributing if only they’d give me a chance.

If you’re human, I imagine you’ve thought or invoked one of these statements. I know I have.

Even though we may be able to justify these types of statements, they often reflect our own assumed constraints: beliefs that allow us to escape personal accountability and fall victim to circumstances or the actions of others. In the new Self Leadership program I co-created with Ken Blanchard and Laurence Hawkins, we teach that self leadership is about having the mindset and skillset to accept responsibility and take initiative.

While it is wonderful to learn how to ask for the direction and support you need to be successful in your role, it’s also important to remember that when something goes wrong, there’s no one else to blame.

The Hard Truths about Self Leadership

• Sometimes you misdiagnose your competence. Not knowing what you don’t know can be dangerous. Enthusiasm and high commitment are blessings, but don’t mistake them for high competence. Self leaders are able to appreciate where they are on the learning curve, diagnose their development level on a goal, and recognize the times and tasks where they need direction. Self leaders also have the wisdom to ask how to do something they’ve never done before.
• You have to ask for feedback. One of the most important habits of a self leader is proactively asking for feedback every day instead of waiting to get it. Recent research suggests people are more likely to listen to feedback when they have asked for it. And neuroscience shows the brain is more ready to integrate feedback when it’s asked for and received at a time that is most relevant to the learner.
• The best person to solve your problems is you. Nobody knows your problems better than you do. With experience, the best person to solve a problem is the person who identifies it. Self leaders go beyond problem spotting to proactive problem solving, which has been shown to reduce workplace stress and result in higher energy at the end of the day.
• You must stop blaming others. Even if your manager is ineffective, dismissive, or a micromanager, you need to build on the positive direction and support you do get from them—and manage up or around to get what you still need to succeed. When you take the lead in regular one-on-one meetings with your boss and ask for what you need, you may discover they simply weren’t aware of those needs.

Who Benefits from Self Leadership?

At an organizational level, recent research shows that the most important key to successful initiatives in organizations is the proactive behavior of individual contributors—self leaders who have the ability to accept responsibility and take the initiative to make change happen.

At an individual level, self leadership helps you liberate yourself from the perceived tyranny of organizational life, which frees you from assumed constraints that can limit the quality of your work experience. Being able to respond effectively to everyday challenges can be personally and professionally rewarding.

The responsibility for your success at work falls to you. The good news is that you have a choice. Is developing the mindset and skillset required to be a self leader worth your effort? Yes! A not-so-hard truth: the benefits of self leadership are as good for you as they are for your organization.

About the Author

Susan Fowler is the co-author of the newly revised Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager with Ken Blanchard and Laurence Hawkins and lead developer of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Self Leadership product line. She is also the author of the bestseller, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work… and What Does. Susan is a Senior Consulting Partner at The Ken Blanchard Companies and a professor in the Master of Science in Executive Leadership Program at the University of San Diego.

What good is building character only to have it erode due to a lack of maintenance?  Coaching enables people to gain clarity about who they are, what they are doing, why they are doing it, and where they want to go.

In a recent coaching call, a client described a situation where during weekly staff meetings, a leader had been allowing one of her team members to speak negatively about people in another department.  The leader saw team meetings as a place to vent—but over the weeks they had begun to morph into weekly gossip fests.

My client was concerned about the situation. I listened and probed to help illuminate the source of her concern.  Affording her the time and space to discuss the topic moved the issue from being someone else’s problem to solve to being an opportunity to assess her own character and maintain it.

A coach will challenge clients to conduct themselves according to who and what they say they are. The coach does this by listening, asking focused questions, reflecting, challenging, and acknowledging the client.

The business case for coaching is that it supports the development of self leadership—but coaching accomplishes much more than that.  I’d say the personal case for coaching is that it is “customized maintenance for a leader’s character.”

What have you noticed in others that could be a good reminder to you?  What’s your maintenance plan for the leaders in your organization? Consider how a coach could help!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?

Each of these one-word questions can push organizational leaders and their team members toward the clarity they need to achieve success. In this post I’d like to focus on who and what.

When leaders set clear expectations, outcomes are much more likely to hit the mark. And it’s just as important for leaders to set milestones en route to the outcome. Doing so keeps people on track by helping them get the support and redirection they need when they need it, which sets them up for success so that they do their best work and hit their deadlines.

At this point it is helpful for a coach to ask what questions, such as:

• What are we trying to accomplish?
• What is the scope?
• What will it cover?
• What is left out?
• What are we not doing?

Stating clear expectations, however, is just the start. The next step is for leaders to create clear agreements with others about what is expected. This is where who questions come into play. Let me share a recent example.

I coached a leader who acknowledged that when setting expectations, her team often sees things differently than she does. So instead of just addressing what, she also expands her discussions with team members by including who questions. Some great who questions include:

• Who will be responsible for what?
• Who will talk to whom?
• Who will report to whom?
• Who will follow up with whom?
• Who will be left holding the bag?

By using both what and who questions, leaders can provide better clarity, accountability, and agreement—all of which provide the foundation for shared success!

Rather than be annoyed with team members, or just doing the work yourself, consider how a combination of what and who questions can help you fill the gap between your perspective and the perspective of others to provide clarity and shared agreement.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

– People who exhibit the behaviors of a self leader are more likely to expend discretionary effort on behalf of their organizations.

– People who are self leaders are more likely to have positive feelings about their jobs.

– Self leaders are more likely to perform at high levels, endorse their organization to others, remain with their organizations, and act as good organizational citizens.

For organizations looking to create a culture of self leadership in their organizations, Susan Fowler, one of the lead researchers in the study, recommends that everyone, regardless of their position in an organization, learn the skills necessary to become a self leader. Fowler explains that self leadership is a mindset and skillset that can be taught and learned.

The mindset of a self leader includes three attitudes.

Challenge Assumed Constraints. Fowler says that for individual contributors to evolve into self leaders, they need to challenge their assumed constraints every day at work. For example, if you assume that no one will listen to your idea because you tried once and were rejected, then you seriously limit your ability to effect positive change.

Activate Points of Power. Next, Fowler says, is to recognize and leverage the power you have instead of focusing on the power you don’t have. Fowler explains that people often point to a lack of position power (having a position of authority to allocate budget and make personnel decisions) instead of recognizing four other types of power they could leverage.

• Task power (the ability to influence how a job or task is executed)
• Personal power (having personal characteristics that provide an edge when pursuing goals)
• Relationship power (being connected or friendly with people who have power)
• Knowledge power (experience and expertise)

Be Proactive. The third component of a self-leadership mindset is the ability to be proactive. Self leaders don’t always wait to be told what to do, says Fowler. Instead they hold themselves accountable for getting what they need to succeed. They think for themselves and make suggestions for improving things in the department and in their roles. They conduct proactive conversations at every level of their development to solicit feedback and ask for direction and support.

With a proper mindset in place, Fowler says people can begin to develop a three-part self leadership skillset.

Setting Goals. Self leaders take the lead to make sure their goals are specific, motivating, attainable, relevant, and trackable. If a goal lacks specificity, they seek clarification. If a goal is not attainable or relevant, they negotiate to make it more fair, within their control, and tied to the company’s metrics. If a goal is not optimally motivating for them, they reframe the goal so it is meaningful by aligning the goal to personal values or a noble purpose.

Diagnosing Development Level. In this second component of a self-leadership skillset, people learn to diagnose their own development level—their current level of competence and commitment for achieving a goal or task. Among the hallmarks of self leadership is learning to diagnose personal competence and commitment and identify what is needed to speed up the process of development and growth.

Matching. The third component of a self-leadership skillset teaches people how to get a leadership style that matches their needs. After diagnosing their competence and commitment on a particular goal, self leaders proactively ask for the direction (guidance and clarification) and support (listening and problem solving) they need to make progress on the goal.

Fowler points out that people equipped with the skills of self-leadership feel more positive about themselves and their jobs. They also have the characteristics of employee work passion: they perform at higher levels, endorse the organization positively, have higher levels of autonomy and competence, and are more likely to remain with the organization.

“When people become empowered self leaders, they’re proactive self-starters who look for ways to make your organization flourish.”

As Fowler and her research colleagues identify, the most crucial element in successful initiatives lies in the proactive behavior of the individual contributors required to carry them out.

“Organizations would be wise to equip their employees with the mindset and skillset to diagnose their situation, accept responsibility, and hold themselves accountable for taking action.”

Interested in learning more? Be sure to download the complete research report here. You can also join Fowler for a free webinar on June 21—Taking a Top-Down, Bottom-Up Approach to Leadership.  The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more here.

“The research shows that the front line people are the ones who are essential to making your initiatives work—whether it’s implementing a change or a customer service program. You have to depend on those self leaders to make it happen.”

In Fowler’s experience, when L&D professionals equip individual contributors with the mindset and skillset of self leadership, they build a healthy and empowered workforce that is productive, innovative, and committed to getting results for their organizations.

In developing the learning design for the new Self Leadership training program from The Ken Blanchard Companies, Fowler begins by addressing mindset—Challenging Assumed Constraints, Activating Points of Power, and Being Proactive. This mindset is a real shift in perspective for most individual contributors who come into a training not understanding the benefits of self leadership.

Fowler explains that without the right mindset, individuals are less likely to embrace, learn, and apply the skills of Setting Goals, Diagnosis, and Matching (getting an appropriate leadership style), which are taught later in the program.

“Our Self Leadership program provides the skills individual contributors need to take the initiative and be responsible for their own success—for example, to proactively clarify goals and seek out the direction and support they need.”

Fowler is excited about the opportunities a renewed interest in self leadership offers to organizations—and she is appreciative of new research that helps make the business case for investing in self leadership training.

“When we first offered our self leadership program back in the early 1990s, we knew it worked from the results our clients were achieving, anecdotal data, and our own impact studies. What didn’t exist back then was outside empirical research that made the case for investing in individual contributor training.

“Over the last 15 years, there’s been a relative explosion of academic research that confirms our experience. Current research validates our approach to self leadership, which includes proactive problem solving, asking for feedback, selling your solutions, and negotiating for authority.

Blanchard’s own research into Employee Work Passion informs other aspects of the program.

“Teaching self leaders to activate their own points of power is important in helping them understand that they shouldn’t depend on someone else’s power to get the job done. In every case, the program teaches participants to challenge assumed constraints and take positive action.

“Performance in organizations is often stalled because employees don’t know how to ask for what they need when they need it. Our Self Leadership program teaches individuals the mindset and skillset to proactively take the reins, achieve their goals, and accelerate their own development.”

PS:  Interested in learning more about the Blanchard approach to creating a culture of self leaders?  Join Fowler for a free webinar on May 31–Creating a Culture of Self Leadership. It’s complimentary, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Her email back to me: You clicked the correct links to respond. I checked the links as well, and I also logged into your profile to look for the comment notification. It appears that he deleted his comment!

She had come to a plausible conclusion that I hadn’t even considered! I am supposed to be a subject matter expert on self leadership, yet I fell prey to an assumed constraint. I held an assumption that I was woefully ignorant when it comes to social media and incapable of solving the problem. I let that belief limit my openness to another possibility—such as, the man deleted his comment.

We fall prey to insidious assumed constraints every day. The way we internalize facts influences our beliefs that shape our intentions, which ultimately leads to our behavior.

Virtually raise your hand if your manager makes more money than you do. Nod your head knowingly if your manager has more position power than you do. Now consider how these facts influence your beliefs about the workplace, shape your intentions, and ultimately determine your behavior—and your relationship with your manager.

• Comparing my manager’s power and income to my own, I may conclude: I don’t have the power or ability to affect change. This belief leads me to watch painfully as changes happen to me without my input or participation.
• I may believe that my manager should know when I need more direction for achieving my goal. This belief causes me to wait for her to provide me with an action plan and the resources I need.
• Even sadder, maybe I believe my boss should know what I need, but is so self-absorbed, she doesn’t even notice. This belief leads me to resent my manager and sabotage the relationship because I don’t trust she has my best interests at heart.

Assumed constraints are beliefs that limit our experience. Self leadership demands the acknowledgement, exploration, and reframing of assumed constraints.

Challenging assumed constraints by flipping them into statements that lead to positive action is an essential mindset of a self leader. For example, what if I took the assumed constraint about power and flipped it? I believe I have the power and ability to affect change. This statement is more likely to lead to productive behavior, such as proactive problem solving or selling my solutions.

The flipped assumed constraint also leads to an exploration of power: What types of power do I have and how can I use my points of power to proactively achieve my goals and make greater contributions to others?

Research provides evidence that self leadership competencies can be learned—and that organizations would be better served by focusing budgets and training employees on self leadership. But learning the skillset also requires cultivating a mindset to challenge assumed constraints, activate your points of power, and be proactive.

Thinking about my assumed constraint for responding to comments on LinkedIn, I take heart that I proactively reached out to a subject matter expert using my relationship power. I feel confident that the next time I find myself frustrated over social media (probably sometime within the next hour or so), I will challenge my assumed constraints by mindfully exploring solutions I wouldn’t have considered before receiving Kristin’s insight. Then, if I really am stymied, I will reach out for direction and support.

Self Leadership is having the mindset and skillset for getting what you need to succeed. For true self leaders, accepting responsibility and taking initiative for the quality of your work and life experience is a continuous pursuit of learning, growing, and achieving. It is the saga that never ends.

About the Author

Susan Fowler is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies and the coauthor of Blanchard’s new Self Leadership program.  You can learn more about Susan and The Ken Blanchard Companies at http://www.kenblanchard.com

Dear Madeleine,

I am an attorney with a state government agency. I run a team consisting of a few other attorneys and paralegals and administrators. I have been here four years and I love the office, my boss, and the work.

About six months ago my boss hired a new person—who is a peer to me—to run another team that does work similar to what my team does. She is a bully. She literally yells at everyone in the office. She storms out of meetings, goes and talks to clients behind my back and tells them all the things she thinks I am doing wrong.

She is wreaking havoc with everyone in the office. I now time my lunch so I don’t run into her in the break room. She is so unpleasant that it is literally taking a toll on my health and I am considering taking another job. But I love it here and was hoping to finish out the last few years of my career here. What do you think?

Bullied

Dear Bullied,

I consulted our talent engagement manager who has just completed his Ph.D. dissertation on workplace bullying. The field is quite new and there is a lot that is still not known or understood about workplace bullying and how to stop it. Workplace bullying, it turns out, is quite different from what happens in school.

The leader in this field is Dr. Gary Namie, whose website is http://www.workplacebullying.org/. This is an excellent resource that will help you to frame your own experience and find potential ideas for what to do.

From reading your letter, though, I can point out that you do have power here. This person is not your boss, and you have a good relationship with your boss. This is good because it means the bully does not have the power to retaliate against you, so you can actually stand up to her. Be ready to set boundaries with her—“Do not contact my clients without my express permission,” “Do not yell at me,”—because you can and you should. You have already given her power by allowing her ridiculous behavior. You can tell her that her behavior is ridiculous and you won’t allow it.

It sounds like you are not the lone target—the bully treats everyone horribly. This is good also, because it means you have not been singled out for ill treatment. Bullies often target one person who is a threat and try to break them down systematically. Possibly this person is not so much a bully as just plain awful, possibly nuts, and eventually HR will figure it out and she will be fired. You can make their job easier by documenting every single interaction in which you feel threatened, whether it happens specifically to you or you observe it happening to someone else. When things come to a head—which they inevitably will because your boss can’t allow it to go on forever—you will have your ducks in a row.

In the meantime, since you have a great relationship with your boss, you might share with him that you are considering taking another job because this person has made things so unpleasant. But also tell him that you love it where you are, you enjoy working with him, and you were hoping to stay. You could actually pull the “It’s her or me” card, which is a rare card to have in your hand. You are probably the kind of nice person who wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing, but that’s what I’m here for. This could be a good wake-up call for him. Often, bosses are at a loss when they realize their new hire is a terrible mistake, and they put their heads in the sand and hope it will go away. This is not going away.

Mostly we don’t get what we deserve; we get what we fight for. Stay strong, Bullied. If you really need to go, then go. But it sounds to me like you can fight and win this one. So put on your armor, get up on your horse, and try.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

When this scenario happens, despite your best intentions it’s likely the session materials—along with your new learnings—will end up on a shelf.

Does it have to be this way? No! What if you had returned to your workplace with the same pressing deadlines, and discovered that your company had assigned a coach to support you and help integrate your learnings back on the job. Wouldn’t that be helpful? You bet it would! In fact, people who get coaching to support new learning exhibit up to two-thirds more improved productivity than those who didn’t have coaching following their training.

Wondering how to get started? Here are three of the ways I work with coaching clients to help them apply what they’ve learned in class. Consider how these strategies could help your people.

• Stop and think about development. We don’t often have someone to brainstorm with regarding where we should focus our development time. One of the first things I do is create that space and environment. This helps my client sort out and declare their development goals.
• Recognize that it’s okay to be a learner. Most of my clients are high achievers. When they get back to work and start to apply what they’ve learned, they often wrestle with not having already mastered their new learning. Coaching can set realistic expectations and help the person embrace being a learner instead of internally berating themselves for not being an expert at the new material right from the start.
• Set aside practice time. Clients are often tempted to abandon what they’ve just learned because it’s too time consuming or too hard. I recommend that my clients identify one or two people to initially practice with. Once the client has practiced and gained some mastery, they are more comfortable rolling out their new skills on a larger scale.

The key to successfully providing coaching to support learning is to first help class participants carve out time and then provide a safe space for them to focus on applying new learnings in the workplace. Organizations that provide coaching to support learning signal that the training is important and that the company is invested in the person’s ongoing development. It also sends a subtle signal that the organization is expecting to hold the training participant accountable to use what they have learned.

Providing coaching turns a training event into a learning process. It makes the learning stick!  Could your people benefit from some coaching to support their learning? We would love to hear your thoughts.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I report to the general counsel of a large global organization and I have a team of seven attorneys. I routinely work at all hours of the night finishing projects my people committed to completing and then didn’t—and the deadline, of course, can’t slip.

My husband says I let my people walk all over me. I think we all have too much work so I try to protect them from burning out.

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to wear my people out, but I also don’t want to be a doormat.

Am I a Wuss?

Dear Am I a Wuss,

You might be, but we don’t need to call anyone names, do we? It sounds like it all comes from the best of intentions. One of the hardest things about being a manager is keeping everyone’s energy and engagement high when the workload is crushing. Internal law groups are notorious for working their people to the bone, so if you don’t want to burn your people out—or worse, burn out yourself—you are going to have to be super strategic.

Here’s the thing. You have trained your people to think they can get away with making a commitment and not following through. The result is, when you give out work assignments, your team members know there isn’t much of a consequence for shoddy planning, so they plan shoddily. This needs to be corrected or you will just keep repeating the same pattern.

You need to start with naming and claiming the reality of the situation. Do your people have any idea how put upon you feel? You probably want to say “I am sick and tired of you leaving me holding the bag,” which is why you haven’t said anything – you know that isn’t going to be effective. So how might you express it? You want to craft a neutral statement with no blame or judgment. Practice with a friend to get the wording right—something like, “Lately, in order to meet deadlines, I find myself finishing work that you had committed to completing. This isn’t sustainable and it needs to change. Let’s talk about what we can do to prevent this situation in the future.”

Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:

• Be clear that deadlines are non-negotiable. Perhaps your team members think the deadlines you give them are soft ones. If this is not the case, you need to tell them.
• When you give out work assignments, spend a moment with each person to talk through the steps involved. Scope out the time requirement for each step so that the work can be broken down into manageable pieces. You probably don’t think you should have to do this, but sometimes you need to go back to basics.
• Rotate the crazy deadlines so that you take some, but not all—and so does everyone else. Make sure your team knows that everyone is expected to step up and go the extra mile when things get tight.

If it is really true that there is too much work, it is up to you to make the case for a new hire. This means that everyone, including you, needs to track their time on work projects in fifteen-minute increments. You will need this data to be convincing when justifying another body.

Your team members are going to have some good ideas, too. Put the reality of the situation on the table, listen carefully, and engage them in crafting a solution for moving forward. You clearly have empathy for them, which is great. Now you have to advocate for yourself—and from that position you’ll be able to craft something that will work. And you won’t have to put up with your husband’s criticism on top of everything else.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“Think about your best boss,” asks coaching expert Madeleine Blanchard. “Your best boss is a person who helped you to deliver phenomenal performance, but they also helped you to really grow and develop yourself.”

In a short video interview Blanchard explains that, “Managers who have no idea how to use coaching skills, or use a coach-approach with their people, tend to be very task-focused and very transactional—which is fine—the job gets done. But they don’t retain their people and they don’t get the kind of engagement and discretionary energy that we are all looking for in our organizations.”

One of the biggest challenges is feedback.

“The hardest thing for most managers is giving the hard feedback. It’s saying, ‘This is good but it needs to be better.’  It is so hard for people because they are afraid of damaging the relationship or de-motivating people.”

In a new Coaching Essentials program, Blanchard and coauthor Linda Miller teach managers to build relationships and earn the right to give the hard feedback—and then learn ways to say what needs to be said without being terrified.

Blanchard and Miller’s approach is to teach a mindset, a coaching process, and a skill set—three main things that managers and leaders need to know to build trust, improve workplace positivity, and boost employee work passion.

A new eBook by The Ken Blanchard Companies shares the four essential skills and a four-phased coach-approach for activating the conversation process.

To learn more, download a free copy of the eBook here.

It’s a common experience, explains best-selling business author Ken Blanchard.

“Nearly all of us have made a New Year’s resolution and then not followed through. Why is it that most New Year’s resolutions don’t work? Two reasons—the first is that accomplishing the goal is tougher than we thought.”

The second reason? “We rarely get help from the people around us,” says Blanchard. “People smile and say ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ and then walk away to let us tackle the resolution on our own.”

If you’re already thinking of giving up on your fitness goal, Blanchard urges you to first ask for help from a coach or a friend—someone who will help you maintain your commitment to your commitment.  Then apply this 3-step process to give yourself the best chance of succeeding:

Set clear goals. All good performance starts with clear goals. Blanchard recommends the SMART approach, along with a compelling reason that motivates you to achieve the goal. “I had set a goal to become fit many times,” Blanchard explains. “But this time, I found a compelling reason to get healthy: my puppy, Joy. I was just turning 70 when I got her. Knowing dogs can live 15 years or more, I decided I needed to stay healthy through my mid-80s, so not only would I be around for my family, but also for Joy. Most people worry about outliving their dog; I worried about my dog outliving me!”

Diagnose your current status. Once goals are set, the next step is to diagnose your development level on each of the tasks related to your goal. Blanchard explains that your development level is a function of competence (your skills and experience) and commitment (your motivation and confidence.)

“For example, let’s say you’re excited about learning to lift weights but don’t know anything about it. That makes you an Enthusiastic Beginner—you have no competence but high commitment. You’ll need a lot of direction. But when it comes to eating healthy, maybe you’re a Disillusioned Learner—you lack competence and you’ve also lost your commitment. You’ll need both direction and support in this area.”

Get the help you need.  The fact that you have different development levels on different tasks or goals means you need to find someone who can provide you with the directive behavior or supportive behavior you need for each task or goal.

Drawing on his previous example, Blanchard explains, “As an Enthusiastic Beginner on weight training, you need specific direction—someone to tell you exactly how to lift weights. As a Disillusioned Learner on diet and nutrition, you need both direction and support—someone who not only will help you learn how to eat right, but also will listen to you and praise you as you change the way you eat. Enlisting a partner who will give you the proper amounts of direction and support will keep you accountable and reap great benefits. If your partner also has a goal similar to yours, that’s the perfect match—you can keep each other on track!

Don’t Go It Alone

Few people can accomplish a major life change by themselves. Ken Blanchard finally succeeded when he asked for help to achieve his fitness goals. He turned to a friend, fitness expert Tim Kearin, for direction and support.

Kearin helped Blanchard establish goals and diagnose his current state in six key areas:

1. Aerobics
2. Strength training
3. Balance
4. Flexibility
5. Weight control/Nutrition
6. Sleep/rest

“The only aspect of fitness where I was an expert was rest and sleep,” laughs Blanchard. “I can sleep anywhere! So that wasn’t an issue for me.”

But when it came to both strength training and balance, Kearin identified Blanchard as an Enthusiastic Beginner—excited about the idea of getting stronger, but needing a directing leadership style.

“In terms of aerobics, flexibility, and nutrition/weight control, Tim and I determined I was a Disillusioned Learner. I had started programs in these areas at various times over the previous 30 years but hadn’t kept up with them, so I was frustrated. In these areas I needed a coaching leadership style—which means I needed direction and also caring support.”

With Kearin’s help, Blanchard was able to finally make progress in all six areas.  And at the conclusion of the journey they wrote a book together about the experience—Fit at Last: Look and Feel Better Once and for All.

How about you?  Struggling with fitness goals?  It’s not unusual.  Consider Blanchard’s approach.  You don’t need a personal trainer—just someone who is willing to work with you to help you set goals, identify your development level and what kind of help you need on each goal, and then take the steps to achieve those goals.

It’s all about managing your journey to health and fitness—and committing to your commitment—with a little help from your friends.

PS: You can learn more about Blanchard’s journey here: Fit At Last book page.

Dear Madeleine,

I have not once in my life kept a New Year’s resolution. And yet, here I am once again thinking about all I want to accomplish and feeling demoralized. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? How can I be successful this year? Does anyone ever succeed at sticking to a resolution? Help!

New Year’s Loser

Dear New Year’s Loser,

I am glad you asked this question because I have an explicit opinion on this topic. There is a lot of research on New Year’s resolutions. You can Google it—but for all intents and purposes no one really sticks to New Year’s resolutions. Okay, maybe 8 percent of people do, but my guess is that’s even a stretch. The whole thing is a nasty set up to ensure we all start the year feeling terrible about ourselves.

I say, let’s cut it out. No goals in 2017. None.

NO GOALS for 2017.

Wait. What? “That’s crazy!” you argue. “I have to set goals or I will never achieve anything and I will wake up in three years sitting in this exact chair with this exact life.” Not true. Life has a way of carrying you along and will provide plenty of occasions for you to rise to. And you will rise to these occasions by committing to becoming more effective, nicer, better organized, or by learning something new.

Life will provide you with many reasons to change. You will lose weight or go to the gym when you get sick of not fitting into any of your clothes or when your doctor says you have to. You will quit that terrible habit (smoking, running late, watching “Real Housewives” shows) when you are so compelled that you will get help from any possible corner—your family, your friends, a support group, a clinic, or all of the above.

The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that we always choose the things that are hardest to do—the stuff we have already failed at, often several times. So now we are actually conditioned to fail at those things.

The only way to change that mindset and break the pattern is to set New Year’s resolutions that are fun and easy. Seriously. Some of my most successful resolutions have been exactly that. For example:

• Never stand in a line if I can help it
• Drink good champagne any time I get the chance
• Spend a minimum of five minutes a day rolling around on the floor with my dogs

You will set a goal to do something new, different, and difficult when you are good and ready to do it and not a moment sooner. In the meantime, find something fun and easy to commit to in 2017. Easy means, well, not hard. Effortless. Something that is literally so easy and pleasant that you will actually do it.  And only one thing. I mean, you have enough going on.

Try it. Win at your New Year’s Resolution this time. And do it again next year. Do it every year. You won’t believe how this can add up to a life filled with joy, amusement and pleasure. And really, what more could we ask for?

Happy New Year and Love,

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Trust and empower employees. Respondents identified they look for leaders who believe in them enough to trust them with significant responsibilities and to empower them to use their experience and knowledge. As one respondent put it, “When my manager trusts me, it makes me want to do an extremely good job so I don’t let her down and so that trust increases.”

Provide regular feedback to everyone. Respondents indicated a strong desire for positive feedback when it is deserved—for example, when they show advances in learning a new task or when they offer ideas that benefit their company. They also want to know when they make mistakes or do things wrong. The important caveat? They want the person giving the feedback to respect them as someone who wants to grow and improve.

Make sure goals and expectations are clearly stated—and hold people accountable for achieving outcomes. Survey participants identified that they want leaders to hold them accountable but they don’t want surprises. As one respondent put it, “People don’t like surprises, so managers should make expectations clear up front.” Another survey respondent said, “When the manager explains goals, the employee can take ownership.”

Be open to hearing new ideas and input from everyone. As one respondent stated, “When managers listen to people’s ideas, energy levels can soar. It makes employees feel important and valued.” Respondents also indicated that Millennials want active, involved leadership, a feeling of collaborative teamwork, and unstructured access to information. Implicit in this finding is that information and ideas flow in both directions—from manager to employee and from employee to manager.

Do not micromanage. One respondent noted, “Leaders need to trust their people to do their jobs, but they also need to be available for help when needed—such as when an employee is new in a task.” One key point that came out of the research: the majority of those surveyed expressed a desire to be allowed space for trial and error. This allows the employee freedom to learn from mistakes while having their manager nearby to ward off larger problems.

The report highlights that the growing Millennial generation of workers is looking for clear definitions of expectations, regular feedback, and a receptive ear by managers about their ideas. They do not want to feel micromanaged, but trusted and empowered. They embrace transparency from their managers and want the opportunity to contribute.

You can access the complete report, Millennials in the Workplace: How Do Managers Inspire Them? at the Blanchard website. It contains additional analysis as well as advice for Gen Xers and Boomers, and is available free of charge courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Dear Madeleine,

I recently joined a small but global organization as COO. I am tasked with looking at all of our systems and processes and finding ways to streamline, upgrade, and reduce our manual processes and the resulting human error. My problem is that the team I inherited is committed to keeping things exactly the way they are. Many of them are the inventors of the current systems and home-grown software programs. I’m not very optimistic about getting anything done with this group.

I asked the CEO and the Board if I could bring in some of my own team—fresh eyes, people who don’t have any attachment to the way things are now—but they want me to make a concerted effort to change the systems while keeping these people. I just don’t know how I can do it.

Hobbled

Dear Hobbled,

It sounds like your CEO and Board missed the memo that the biggest impediment to change is …people. People hate change. Not all people, but most people. We are evolutionarily wired to hate change—even good change—because, simply put, it forces us into the unknown. The human brain is predisposed to avoid the unknown at all costs.

It sounds like you were hired because you are an expert in systems, not because you have a lot of experience leading change. But leading change is what is required of you now, so you are going to have to saddle up and work harder than you ever thought possible.

Before you change anything, though, you are going to have to work with your group to shift the culture. Tell your people that you are explicitly requesting shifts in their outlook. Make the shifts you are asking people to make absolutely crystal clear. For example:

I made these up, but you get the idea.

You cannot underestimate the power of the current culture to kill any change you might conceive of, no matter how brilliant it might be.

Tell people the qualities you are looking for in the team. I am assuming it will be things like open mindedness, innovation, creativity, and eagerness to experiment. Tell them that these qualities will be expected and measured.

Tell your people what will not be tolerated, such as: protecting turf or systems; unwillingness to try new things; gossip about anyone. Again, clarity is key here. Give examples. Explain what will happen when you notice intolerable behavior, and what the consequences of such behavior will be. You don’t have to be mean about it, just clear and consistent.

Your new bosses have asked you to make a concerted effort, so you have to define for yourself exactly what that means. Maybe it means that you give every person 3 chances to get on board, or maybe 5. Whatever it is, tell people what the criteria are and track behaviors like the analytical thinker and Excel spreadsheet user you are. Then you can share your method of making decisions about who stays and who goes with the powers that be and they will know that you have acted in good faith and have made a concerted effort to keep as many people as possible.

Without the kind of clarity, criteria and scorecard I am recommending, you will be floating around in feelings and subjective opinions. Don’t do it—you will get lost and confused and you will fail at your task.

Our change model directs you to talk to people about their concerns, and there are many. Most people are simply worried about losing their jobs, which is fair. Get on board with helping the company figure out what’s needed in team members to be invited to stay, or the consequences of resisting at every turn and being invited to leave. Put the options in their hands. That way you at least have the right people on the bus—over time you will figure out where the bus is going and how to get people into the right seats. And you can deal with concerns as they surface, such as being asked to learn a lot of new things, etc.

Does this sound like more than you signed up for? I suspect it does. Many people sign up for a job they thought was about processes and systems only to realize that it is about leading people through change. This requires a sophisticated and advanced set of leadership skills you may not have been asked to develop in the past.

But you can win if you want. You will need to gather your warrior energy and be fearless and fierce. There are a bunch of great books on managing change—some of them Blanchard books. Get one and use it. You have an opportunity to have an extraordinary leadership journey.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

The same can be said about professional growth and development. If you want to master new information or develop a new skill, simply knowing that something is important won’t result in growth or change. You have to define a developmental plan and then take action.

Whether personal or professional, setting a goal for growth and then taking action on your own is easier said than done. Most people benefit from the support of others when they decide to make a change.

Managers are in a great position to offer this much needed support to their direct reports—many of whom already have either a formal or informal development plan for themselves.

If you are a manager, here are a few suggestions you can make to your direct reports to help them progress toward their goals.

1. “Link your development to your job.” Suggest they thoughtfully consider how their learning and development goals will specifically make them more effective at work.
2. “Practice what you learn.” Have them identify one or two behaviors they want to hone and think of where they can practice those behaviors on the job. For instance, they could practice during one-on-one meetings with you or in weekly team meetings with their peers.
3. “Keep your development top of mind.” To stress the importance of their growth, regularly touch base with direct reports around their progress. Ask them to set a specific date by which they will share a success story with you on how they successfully implemented their learning.

Being someone’s support system doesn’t have to take a lot of time or effort—after all, the person you are helping is doing all the heavy lifting! That said, letting a direct report know you care about their growth and development and cheering them on can make a huge difference in their success.

Are there opportunities where you can help someone grow? If so, try the ideas above and let us know what impact they made!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the manager of a large group of service professionals. Earlier this year, I was inspired by a management book to set goals with my people and then give them the autonomy to decide how to achieve them.

It sounded good on paper, but here we are at the end of the year and not a single one of them has done well on their goals. As a result, I have given them all less than stellar ratings on their performance reviews. They are all surprised and upset with me.  —Confused

Dear Confused,

Managing people is complex, and managing high level professionals is maybe even more so.  So I checked out the book you shared and I think I know what went wrong.  You gave people goals and the autonomy to figure out how to achieve them—but you seem to have missed the rest of the steps outlined in the book, which go something like this:

• Work with each employee to identify actions that will be most likely to move them toward achieving their goal.
• Create a visible scorecard that shows both you and the employee how they are tracking to their goal.
• Meet weekly to review progress, brainstorm obstacles, and inspire the employee to stick with the plan.

In other words, you should give people enough autonomy that they feel like they own the goal—but not so much that the goal falls off the to-do list without anyone noticing.

There a lot of reasons people don’t achieve their goals. The most common ones are shockingly simple:

• They didn’t really know what to do or how to do it
• They didn’t really want to do it
• They didn’t think it was a good goal
• They didn’t think it was that important and prioritized other things above it
• They had too many other things to do
• They simply forgot

That last one is my personal favorite because it has happened to me.  I sat down with my manager to review the year and he asked how things went with a project we had discussed some months back.  I was appalled to realize that I had forgotten all about it and had done absolutely nothing.  I was lucky to have an understanding manager who also took some responsibility for the fact that we hadn’t talked about it since that first discussion.

Just think, for a moment, about what competes for our brain space on any given day.  Anything that actually gets done only does so because of relentless attention and focus to ensure that it does.  Otherwise, the goal might as well not exist.

I am sorry you are now in the position of feeling like the bad guy.  I recommend that you not give your people a bad rating on this part of their review—and that you take responsibility for essentially setting them up to fail.  Try the same approach this year, but include the part about working with each person to identify action steps, build the scorecard, and have regular reviews to check progress and offer support.

I’m certain that when you incorporate the additional steps, your people will come through with flying colors.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Then again, truth can be hard to define. Thomas J. Leonard, a pioneer in the coaching field, identifies some distinctions on truth in his book The Portable Coach:

—Not all truth is provable by standard measurements.

—A personal truth may not be provable by facts.

—Truth may change and evolve over time.

As coaches, we help clients recognize their personal truths, develop self-awareness, and have the courage to take positive risks. We create a safe environment where people can tell the truth without fear of negative consequences. But even with this encouragement, clients aren’t always as truthful as they could be.

So how can coaches encourage more truth-telling behavior among our clients?  Here’s a 3-step process I use:

1. Pay attention to the client’s tone of voice and energy level—and question statements that don’t ring true.
2. When it sounds like a client is spinning a tale, it is okay to interject and challenge them.
3. Challenge by asking, not telling, since even the best coaches can be off base. You can do this by repeating the client’s statement back to them and asking them how it sounds.

I’ve had a number of clients burst out laughing when they hear their own statement repeated back to them. They often realize that they have convinced themselves of something that may not be true or is an outdated belief.

Give this process a try. Once people recognize the truth, the most natural response is to start changing behavior to align with it. Celebrate the truth and the freedom that comes from being honest with ourselves!

About the Author

Kathleen Martin is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Martin’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I work in HR in a small company and recently had to let someone go. The process is never pleasant—and to make matters a bit more complicated, the terminated employee was a bit of a gossip. 

Now that she is gone, many employees are upset and have been speculating out loud about the reason she was terminated. Those who were involved in the decision are professional enough to not share the details that would make the reason clear—and, of course, as an HR professional I am also unable to do that. 

The objective side of me sees that I cannot be responsible for the perceptions of so many people and that I need to accept the damage that has been done, keep a strong visage, and stand by the company’s decision. However, I am human and I cannot help but feel that the loaded comments and meaningful glares I’m receiving are unjustified and there has to be some solution. I knew coming into the HR field that not everyone would like me, but in a small company I feel this could have a lasting negative impact on my image. 

What do you think? 

Quite Vexed

Dear Quite Vexed,

Being in HR is tough. You know way more about people than you ever wanted to know, and you have to keep it all to yourself. You are constantly fighting a deep psychological need to be included as part of the “in group”—a need that will never be adequately met at work.

I recently read a thread on a LinkedIn HR group about being friends with people at work. The folks in that group definitely seemed to agree that when you are in HR you can’t be true friends with anyone at work, although you can have friendly acquaintances. I have received the same advice being married to an owner of a family run business—but I will confess that I am hopeless at not bonding with people I really like and respect.

Your solutions, I would say, are as follows:

If in fact the employee was fired for cause, then you do have a problem because you really can’t share details.

If it was a position elimination, work with your colleagues to craft a statement explaining the business reason for the change. In the absence of information people make things up, and what they make up is usually way worse than the truth. People might be treating you poorly because they are afraid about their own jobs, so it would help a lot if people knew that their jobs were safe. Providing some kind of brief, reasonable explanation will help.

If this person was fired for being a nasty gossip and there is nothing you can say, you must face the comments and the looks head on. Get the veiled aggression out on the table by saying something like “Please don’t judge me based on assumptions you are making.” The response will almost certainly be denial, but this should stop the behaviors. When you feel as if you are being subtly bullied, calling the bully out is often the best way to make him or her back down.

Finally—and this is the most critical thing—remember that to survive in HR you are going to have to develop a very thick skin—thicker even than you expected. You also must take care of yourself by building and nurturing a very strong network of friendships outside of work so that you can get your needs for inclusion and social connection met.

You can also develop connections with others of your HR tribe online. Check into the LinkedIn group I mentioned: Linked: HR #1 Human Resources Group, or find a group like it.

There are a lot of people out there like you, many in small companies feeling a little lost, lonely and isolated. And there is a lot of support to be had.

Hang in there!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

When you find yourself in a leadership failure or debt, here are a few things you can do to get out of it:

First, own your leadership debt. You dropped the ball; you made a leadership mistake. It might have been a personnel decision, an ill-timed comment, or a lack of action on a situation that required your attention. Take responsibility.

Rebuild one step at a time. Attack the highest impact issues first. If people perceive you as a low-trust micromanager who can’t let go, start there. Begin with baby steps—don’t try to fix things overnight. Decide to first give small projects to your direct reports that they can handle and that you are comfortable with them managing. Start small and work on it over time. Practice giving clear direction and support.

Don’t repeat the mistake. This may sound simplistic, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is for some leaders to change the bad habits—lack of communication, mistrust, poor listening—that have stunted their leadership development. If needed, find someone who can help you be accountable.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore your leadership debt. Many leaders spend time blaming others for project deficiencies and low quality work. Frustration leads to complaining and then often to bitterness directed at the workgroup. No one wins in this situation and the problem still lingers.

In the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Traditionally, this term refers to those who choose to work while sick or unwell. But this definition has now widened to encompass a generation of young people who feel they are forced to fake the extent of their workloads in order to win favor with their superiors, according to research conducted by Ricoh with office workers in the UK.

A new report entitled Overhauling a Culture of ‘Presenteeism’ at Work points to the belief among many employees that working long hours at their desk is the best way to secure career progression and positive endorsements from senior stakeholders at work.

Additionally, the report reveals that 39 percent of currently employed 18- to 26-year-olds believe working away from the office could damage their career progression, while nearly half (41 percent) feel their bosses favor staff that work in the office longer than their contracted hours. Perhaps as a result of these perceptions, more than two-thirds (67 percent) of the 18- to 26-year-olds admitted to faking the extent of their workload by staying late at the office.

The study recommends that employers consider different attendance standards based on changing work styles.  I agree.  We are experiencing a changing of the guard when it comes to the work style of a group I call the inbetweeners (millennials).

As the report concludes, “By embracing a culture in which the onus is placed on outputs and delivery of work, rather than being present in the office, young professionals would be happier, more motivated and would benefit from an improved work / life balance.”

If you are skeptical about the less-is-more work style theory, here’s a story from my home town of San Diego that may convince to at least take a second look.

One good way to measure productivity is revenue per FTE (Full Time Employee). This year, Tower Paddle Boards in San Diego will generate $9 million in revenue with just ten employees—a small sample, but still very impressive at $900K per FTE! Did I mention that Tower employees work only five hours a day? This is a staggering metric when you put it into perspective.

If some employers are able do more with less time, what can the rest of us do to move in that direction? Remember, the goal always must be efficiency and output. Neither of these should be sacrificed in exchange for a person simply being present.

A new working generation of Americans is seeking a new level of flexibility. If you are a manager, which do you think is more important: quantity of hours put in or quality of work?  Both have impact. Only you can decide which one has a more positive and productive outcome for your organization.

“Procrastination is the thief of time”

I procrastinate. I’ll admit it. I have a bad habit of taking on easy tasks first and leaving more challenging things until last. Or I’ll put off a job until later because I’ve found something more desirable to do—but I won’t define when later is, exactly. I’m even procrastinating now; writing this blog instead of doing something more useful, such as answering emails!  (Don’t tell my manager.)

I had always thought of myself as a proactive person until I went to University. It was there I realised I did nothing a lot of the time, except when an essay paper was due— and then I’d start it a couple of days before it needed to be in. As it turned out, procrastinating was not the answer. I came to that conclusion as I broke down in tears in the library one day. I sobbed even harder when the library attendant told me off for crying in the ‘quiet zone.’ (True story.)

In preparation for writing this blog post, I unearthed an article on why procrastinators procrastinate in the first place. I immediately got distracted by the excellent cartoons. Do you see my problem? The article can be found on WaitButWhy.com if you’re looking for some light-hearted background on the mentality of procrastination (or some great cartoons).

Reasoning aside—as a leader, you’ll be expected to make decisions. When people are unsure of what to do, they look to their leader for direction and insight. They don’t want to be faced with a leader who will procrastinate on decisions until the last minute—especially when the problem is a priority for them.

So how can leaders avoid delaying decisions that will guide their team?

The key is careful planning. Careful is the operative word in that sentence. For procrastinators, planning isn’t usually a problem. They love planning because planning involves not actually doing! Procrastinators’ plans often have little actual thought, are vague or open-ended, and can lack detail or direction. Instead, you’ll need to make a detailed plan. The following steps will guide you.

1. Establish the objective.

Specifically identify what you want to achieve. You may be familiar with the concept of SMART goals—but if you aren’t, here’s a link to a previous blog post from David Witt. When you know exactly what you want to achieve, you’ll be able to lay out a clear path on how you want to get there.

2. Prioritise what you want to achieve, putting the most important task first.

As a leader, you’ll need to balance your priorities with the priorities of the team. It’s really easy to establish a list of 15 things to do and then have no idea where to start because they all seem equally important. So first identify the things you need to do. Remember that priorities evolve as you move forward on your tasks. Therefore, you’ll need to review your and your team’s priorities from time to time to see if they have changed.

3. Gather the information you need to make a decision.

Having relevant information means that you’ll be able to justify and explain your decision when the time comes. And the more information you have, the more confident you’ll be in making that decision. Don’t lose sight of your objectives here. It’s easy to fall into a trap and think you can’t make this decision because you don’t have all of the information. Don’t put off a decision because you’re waiting for arbitrary details.

4. Consider all of the sensible options and select the best one.

With any good plan, there are likely to be a number of choices you can make. Identify your options and remove those that aren’t logical. Then choose the best option—the one that is going to help achieve your objectives whilst meeting your priorities.

6. Take action.

This is the hardest part—but now that you’ve clarified your decision, you’ll find it easier to take action. You’ve established a clear and sensible path to achieving a specific outcome instead of our procrastinating leader’s vague, open-ended to-do list.

Overcoming procrastination, especially as a leader, is important. Much of what makes people happy or unhappy is affected by procrastination. The time to start improving is now. If you are a former procrastinator, how did you conquer it? Let us know in the comments!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a fairly experienced manager, but I have reached my limit with one of my people—let’s call her Sam. She is extremely competent and up until about a year ago she was very reliable. Since then, it seems as if it has been one crisis after another.

First, one of her kids was sick and it took a long time to get a diagnosis. Sam was out of work constantly, either consulting doctors or at home with her child. It turned out to be Lyme disease—which is no joke—and I feel bad, but her work really took a hit.

Then her mom got kicked out of her rental and had to move in with Sam. Her mom had multiple health problems requiring more trips to the doctor. About a month ago, things got more complicated when her mom fell and broke her hip. This required moving her into assisted living, which had to be researched and arranged by Sam. I am pretty sure she is helping to pay for it, too.

The net result is that Sam is constantly calling in sick, coming in late, and needing to leave early. There is an ex-husband in the picture who doesn’t help out at all. When Sam is here, she is distracted. She seems to be her family’s sole source of support and it would make me feel like a terrible person if I let her go.

Our work requires people to be at their desks and available to customers and Sam is not holding up her end. Her co-workers are getting frustrated and are looking to me to do something. The last time I tried to discuss this with her, she burst into tears and we had to end the conversation.

It’s Always Something

Dear It’s Always Something

This is a really tough situation. It worries me that you don’t seem to have support for Sam through the HR department in your organization. You should definitely be discussing this with your boss. Your company must have some employee assistance policies—some programs in place that she could lean on for support.

As a working mom, I can attest to how fiendishly difficult it is to work full time while raising kids, so that may color my objectivity on this issue. Today many people in the workforce are juggling madly, racing from home to daycare to school to work and back home again to start their second shift. In my experience, working mothers get more done in less time than other people because they have to. Throw in the aging parent angle and things get exponentially more difficult.

In this case, it sounds like Sam is a good employee when things are stable. I recommend that you brainstorm how to arrange Sam’s schedule to give her the flexibility she needs to get her job done. Perhaps she could work a few days from home. Or maybe you could change up her hours so she covers the phone early mornings.

You are also going to need to persevere through some emotion and have a real conversation with her.

People cry—okay, more women than men, according to research—and they cry at work; usually in the bathroom. It’s not the end of the world and it does not signify an end to the conversation. All it means is that the person is experiencing deep emotions. It happens. It is part of being human. Deep emotions can get in the way of thinking straight, so it is actually useful to let Sam experience them and get them out of the way, so that the two of you can get on with things. Get a box of tissues, let Sam cry, and wait until she gets through it and composes herself.

Lay out the problem. Tell her you are on her side and you appreciate that she is an excellent employee who has had some real challenges. Communicate that you really want to find a way for her to do what she needs to do for her family while also doing what needs to be done to help you and the team meet your goals. Engage her in solving the problem; you never know what kind of a solution will present itself. She might cry some more. No big deal; just hand over the tissues.

Regarding the issue of your team getting annoyed with Sam, there might be an opportunity here to pull the team together around supporting her. Who knows who will be next in line to win the lousy luck lottery? Wouldn’t it be nice for everyone to know that the whole team will rally around them if they have a really bad month? Or year?

And yes, it is possible that you may not be able to work this out. But I would say you owe it to your own development as a manager, and to your employee, to explore every avenue. If things do work out, you will have retained a loyal employee. And if they don’t, you’ll know you gave it your very best shot.

Good luck to both you and Sam.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Hi Madeleine,

I work in the health profession and I’ve just accepted a position in management at a new facility. I don’t know the staff at all. All I know is that the senior leadership wants a change in the management at the facility.

What advice would you have on how to tackle a new job at a new place with a heavy agenda? What should I do first???

 New Healthcare Leader

Dear New Healthcare Leader,

Well, congratulations! Isn’t this exciting? It sounds like you have a great opportunity here! I can’t tell from your letter if the facility is new overall, or if it is just new to you. If it is actually new, this could be good because you won’t have the burden of history—it can be hard to make changes when it’s “always been done that way.”

If it is just new to you, you will need to spend some time asking questions and listening to understand the culture of the organization. Working with people to change things begins with understanding and meeting them where they are.

In terms of change, you will want to press senior leadership to understand what exactly the prior management did wrong, so you don’t repeat those mistakes. If they won’t tell you, it was probably something illegal, immoral, or both. I imagine this won’t be a problem for you.

What they must tell you though is what a good job looks like. This answers the question, “How will you know you are successful?” You say “heavy agenda” but you have to make sure you know what it really is. Ask them for crystal-clear goals, and if they don’t provide them, come up with your own and present them for approval. Some senior leaders simply don’t have the skills or the patience to articulate the vision or the goals of the organization, so if they won’t do it, do it for yourself.

Once you have your goals set, work with your people to get their goals super clear. Also, spend as much time as you can getting to know your people and assessing their strengths. Work with each of them to ensure that their goals leverage their skills, interests, and talents.

Once everybody knows what they are supposed to be doing, make sure they are getting the proper direction and support they need to do it. Make sure everyone, including you, has a short-term goal that they can achieve so that you all have the experience of early success together. Share stories of any and all wins. People will remember stories and it will feel good.

Finally, we have a lot of books here at The Ken Blanchard Companies, but the definitive one on this topic is not by Ken or any of us. It is The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins and I have worked through the book with many clients. Google it, read summaries, and be sure to look at the templates of what to do in your first 30, 60, and 90 days. I highly recommend it.

Best of luck in your new role!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In an article for Forbes, David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line shares that anyone in a leadership role can have a compelling vision, excellent strategy, flawless communication skills, insight, and hard-working direct reports, but if people don’t trust them, they’ll never get the intended results.

At the same time, research by Towers Watson identifies that only 55% of employees trust senior management, and only 52% of employees think their leaders are aware of how their actions impact the thoughts and emotions of other workers.

Business leaders need to be skilled in the art and science of trust if they are going to succeed in engaging the hearts and minds of those they lead.

So how can a leader build trust?  Here are five places I’d start.  See how this matches up with your experience.

1. Increase self awareness, and living with core values.

A good leader needs to know themselves well, and understand their own behaviors and actions. Becoming more aware of their own moral values and personality traits allows a leader to identify assumptions and behaviors that might hinder their ability to lead effectively.

2. Avoid breaking promises.

Leaders who keep their word build trust because people know what to expect from them. Leaders can avoid breaking promises by learning to say “no” if necessary; only making promises they intend to keep in the first place, and keeping agreements clear and precise. If something comes up that requires a change, share any setbacks early on.

3. Being honest and upfront.

Trustworthy leaders keep their team members informed as much as they can—sharing information openly and honestly—even if this means having a difficult conversation. Honesty and openness increase trustworthiness because employees know that their leader isn’t intentionally hiding information.

4. Approachability and mutual respect.

A trustworthy leader needs to be approachable. Team members won’t approach their leader if they can’t predict how the leader will react, or what kind of mood he or she will be in. This consistency in reaction should be applied to everyone on the team (and not just the people they like the most!)

5. Being firm, but fair.

Leaders need to be clear on their expectations and then be available for course corrections as needed. If a leader sees someone off course, tell them right away. Be honest and upfront but also be prepared to listen carefully and really understand the reasons why a direct report is not meeting the expectation set.

Trust is a key element of success in today’s business environment.  When everything is moving quickly, you need people you can count on, and people need leaders they can trust.  Without it, things grind to a halt and even the simplest of tasks takes forever.

Leaders have a major role to play in setting the tone for their team, department, or organization. I hope these five points get you thinking about ways you can improve trust in your organization.  Any additional ideas?  Be sure to share them below.

This powerful moment in the film sheds light on the fact that leaders don’t apologize much, making this scene even more striking. And yet, there are times where leaders make mistakes—and in those moments, it can be difficult to apologize. Whether it is ego, whether it is because they had been confident of the process and outcome, or whether it is simply forgetfulness, apologies are not commonplace.  Still, there are many dissatisfied employees in workplaces today who may feel they are deserving of an apology.

Even though it’s not easy to apologize, saying “sorry” can make you more transparent and allow a deeper level of trust to occur between you and your direct reports. It can also show that you are relatable and human, as well as demonstrate your integrity and willingness to change. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should apologize every day—but sometimes when a mistake is made an apology should follow.

Have you done something that led to a less-than-favorable outcome? Perhaps you passed a person up for a raise, reprimanded someone a bit too harshly, or gave a direct report so much work they became overwhelmed and stressed. Remember that even if your intentions weren’t to harm, if the other person perceives your behavior as hurtful they will feel hurt. In these moments an apology is important. It acknowledges your own wrongdoing and communicates to the other person your commitment to growth and improvement.

When you do apologize:

1. State the context. Outline the situation by starting with phrases like “Remember when…” or “That other day when…” and describe the behaviors that took place. Especially if the event happened a while ago, it may be good to refresh the person’s memory.
2. Acknowledge the other person by stating the impact of your behavior on them. Say, “When I did that, you looked…” or “I noticed you didn’t go to lunch like you usually do after what happened.” Remember to be objective and focus on the behaviors you directly observed, leaving out any inferences.
3. Avoid explanations and focus on the future. No one wants to hear an apology that is followed by the word but. Don’t offer reasons for what you did—instead, provide reassurances that you are working to grow and improve so that such an event doesn’t happen again.

Apologizing is not easy, but when you learn how to do it properly, it becomes less difficult over time. And when you do say “sorry,” you—and the person you say it to—will be glad you did.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior project manager in a service organization. I manage client-facing work as well as hundreds of independent contractors. 

I recently got behind on my list—the endless small tasks that add up to outstanding service—and I shelved a few items to take care of when I came back from a week’s vacation. 

Big mistake. 

I returned to a debacle with one of our significant internal clients and her handful of potential clients.  A whole incident had been escalated to the colleague who was covering for me, then to my boss.  

My boss was pretty nice about it but I can tell I have lost her trust.   I was disappointed in myself—but more than anything I was really embarrassed.  I don’t know what I was thinking. I misread the time frame and the requirements and thought the matter could wait. 

Here is the bigger problem: I now have constant anxiety that I might be dropping a ball. I feel like I can never take a vacation again.  I have gotten myself into a trap of working all hours and checking email and texts constantly out of fear that I might miss something. My husband and kids are really getting annoyed with me.  I feel the stress ratcheting up—like I am losing control of my life. Help!

Losing Control

_______________________________________________________

Dear Losing Control,

I am sorry. I so know the feeling. And so does every other member of PA—“Perfectionists Anonymous.”   You really do need to be a perfectionist to be a project manager; it is an impossible job that never ends.  You are apparently very good at, and you are now experiencing the dark side of being naturally detail oriented and what I call a control enthusiast.

The bad news is that you are destined to burn out dramatically if you don’t take some significant steps to get yourself back on an even keel.   Constant anxiety will take a toll on your health and ultimately will cloud your thinking and make you less effective at your job.

First stop: your boss.  Have the hard conversation that starts with your feeling of losing her trust.  You actually might be making that up.  If you aren’t making it up and you do need to rebuild trust, you need to set clear milestones that the two of you can track.  Make it concrete—get the “feeling” out of it.  I think it is also important for you to discuss your stress level with your boss.  As you get yourself to a better place, you may need help managing your workload—and you will need your boss’s support to do that.

Which brings me to the next step:  tell yourself the truth about how much work you can do.  Then draw a boundary and do not say yes to more than you can reasonably take on.  You may worry that this could put your job in jeopardy, but honestly—most bosses will just keep loading it on until the employee cries Uncle. And, ultimately, if you find that more is expected of you than you can give, it’s time to find another job. You can’t live your life as a total nervous wreck.  Life is too short—and too long—for that.

Everything is easier with stress management techniques.  There are many methods. Explore them and find one thing you can do to ratchet down the stress.  A short walk at lunch time, ten deep breaths three times a day, prayer, a gratitude practice, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, homeopathic remedies.  None of this has to take a lot of time, but you have to find something and practice it religiously.  This is not optional.

Finally, stop trying to go this alone. Here is a new mantra for you: GET HELP.  Ask a colleague to help out when you are overwhelmed with to-do’s. Ask your boss for help. Use your Employee Assistance Program and go get 6 therapy sessions. Talk things over with your spouse, sibling, parent, or best friends.  Don’t hide your situation from anyone who cares about you. I guarantee the right kind of help will come your way.

Now take a deep breath.  You are going to be okay—but you do need to put your sanity first.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Essentially, the first order of business when you set out to work with a coach is to establish where you are right now: Point A. This requires a cold, hard look at your current reality.

Next, figure out the place you want to end up in the not-too-distant future: Point B. Your coach may start with the question What will be different in six months because of the changes you are about to make?

Once you are clear on Points A and B, you and your coach can put together a plan. When creating the plan, it is important to choose areas where change is actually possible—you want to set goals that may require you to stretch but not ones that would require a personality transplant. This is what’s called “reaching for low hanging fruit.” You can’t ask a chicken to climb a tree. Ask yourself: What can I do—maybe with a little extra direction and support—that makes sense for me?

During the conception of the plan, your coach will help you figure out not only how to leverage your strengths and stay engaged, but also how to choose goals that feel fun and exciting to you. You will gain some clarity about your weaknesses and learn to mitigate them and work around them. You may decide to shore up an area in which you are weak—but I recommend working on only one weak area at a time. Better to leverage strengths.

As the coaching sessions progress, you’ll find yourself stumbling over some attitudes or beliefs that have been holding you back—blind spots, if you will. You’ll think through and perhaps shift some long-held perspectives. Finally, you’ll uncover some new emerging strengths you can build on.

When the coaching is drawing to a close, you will review with your coach everything you have accomplished and what you have learned along the way. This will reinforce changes you have made and highlight new habits you have established.

In the crazy rush of everyday life, it can be really hard to stay focused on the stuff that is important but not necessarily urgent. Ultimately, that is what coaching will help you do.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior director for a large multinational organization.

I am good at what I do, my employees love working for me, and I’ve always received good feedback from my boss. At my last review, though, I didn’t get the promotion to VP that I expected. My boss told me she didn’t think I was strategic enough with my hires and that I was too easy on my people.

I developed a plan to address the feedback, got my boss to sign off on it, and I was feeling pretty good about it.

Since the meeting with my boss, I have:

1. let go of two people who were never going to be quite right for the jobs they were in—and had already been on performance plans for too long;
2. given people some hard feedback and created development plans for them; and
3. asked some other folks who were slacking to take on a few more responsibilities.

Well, wouldn’t you know—they all went running to my boss to complain about what a “meanie” I am. Now my boss is coming down on me for doing exactly what she told me to do!

Can’t Have It Both Ways

Dear Can’t Have It Both Ways,

You are right. You can’t. It is really hard to get the right people in the right seats and have them all fully engaged and living up to their full potential. But don’t quit now. You know what I am going to say: sit down with your boss and ask her exactly how she would have had you proceed differently. But given the way she reacted, it is pretty clear that you ultimately are on your own.

So the ones you really need to talk to are your people—who, by the way, are in shock because their big, soft, teddy bear of a boss has all at once turned into a performance hound. Have an all-hands-on-deck meeting. Share with everyone the context for what is going on. Tell them the organization perceives you as too soft and you realize you have allowed less than stellar performances. Ask them what they think you should do—what they think you should all do. Tell them your goal is to have each person be exactly the right one in the right job, loving their work and challenged just enough but not too much. Tell them you erred in the past by being too nice and you want to learn how to balance being a kind person who values performance—one who is tough but fair. Involve them in the problem they all colluded with you in creating. The self motivated top performers will be excited and will participate. And the ones who prefer to blame and criticize will—well, they’ll blame and criticize. Who do you want on your team?

Challenge your team to have the hard conversations. Listen when they come and talk to you. Empathize with their points of view and become articulate in advocating for your own. Make a direct request to your people to work with you on the plan and to support you in executing it.

Stay strong. You will get through this and you will be the more effective leader for it. And who knows, you might just get that promotion.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I read last week’s column with interest because I am also a fairly new manager in a small organization who isn’t sure whether to speak up about a problem. I have five direct reports. Two of them have come to me to say they have seen an employee who reports to another manager stealing things such as office supplies, toilet paper, and teabags and coffee from the break room.

I was going to stay out of it—until I actually witnessed her emptying half a box of artificial sweetener packets into her purse! I was sitting close by, and she didn’t even seem to care that I saw her do it.

This behavior strikes me as really odd. I would assume people know they are not supposed to help themselves to items meant to be used by people at work.

I have no experience in how to deal with this. Should I tell my manager? Should I tell the person’s manager? I kind of hate to get her in trouble, but I also don’t want to send the message that the behavior is okay.

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

You really need to say something. As a manager, you represent the organization so your silence has power. Now that you personally witnessed this behavior, to not report it would be seen as condoning stealing. Stealing is a strong word for this kind of petty theft, but it is technically the truth.

I guess it might be possible the offender doesn’t realize what she is doing is wrong. It may simply be that her own manager needs to talk to her about it.

The more likely scenario is that she does know it’s wrong and either has some kind of underlying compulsion she needs to deal with or is hostile in some way toward the organization. Perhaps she feels she is underpaid and therefore entitled to these extras.

So you need to tell someone—it could be your own manager, the manager of the offending party, or if you have an HR person you could start there. Even if you feel a little like a rat, it is the right thing to do.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I’m one of two managers at a small company.

Recently, a couple of the other manager’s employees shared some feedback with me—in confidence—that their manager is micromanaging them and doing other things that make their jobs more stressful and less enjoyable. 

None of them are willing to bring this to their manager and they want me to..

I’m uncomfortable bringing it to her because I don’t think it would be well received. And I don’t want to go to my boss because I’ve said negative things about her before and I don’t want to seem like I’m competitive or have a vendetta. At this point I’m planning on doing nothing, but I know that’s not what’s best for the organization. Help! 

-Good Intentions

Dear Good Intentions,

I recently heard the expression “Not my circus, not my monkey.” It made me laugh out loud. You need to make this expression your mantra right now.

I love your plan. It is an excellent plan. Do nothing is exactly what you should do.

You are dead right on almost every count. It would not be well received for you to give the offending manager the feedback. Even if he or she were your best friend in the world, it would be impossible.

I disagree that your going to upper management with the feedback would be what’s best for the organization. In my opinion, what would be best for the organization is for employees to be able to give feedback to their boss or, worst case, their boss’s boss. The kind of workaround you are suggesting would just set the stage for more gossip and whining.

Ultimately, there is simply no upside for you to take on this monkey. However, here is what you can do: encourage the complainers to complain to someone who can do something about the problem. It is incumbent upon them to share the feedback with their manager—and the next time they come to you, you must tell them that. You need to draw a boundary and not allow them to complain to you about anything but you or your people. If they continue to wuss out, tell them they should go to their boss’s boss. If they refuse to do that, they are on their own. They can continue to be victims of their own cowardice and suffer in silence. Plenty of people do it.

If I were your coach, I would ask you a few challenging questions:

• What are you doing that makes another manager’s employees think it is okay to talk to you instead of their own manager?
• How are you implicitly condoning the behavior of these employees?
• Are there other areas of your life where you take on problems that aren’t really yours to solve? If the answer is yes, what does it get you other than more headaches?

As you may have heard, no good deed goes unpunished. Heroics from you at this point will probably not help anyone or anything to get better—and will probably hurt you. Stay focused on your own circus and your own monkeys, and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I run a small creative services business with a partner. We’ve had many long years of almost freakish success. We’ve accomplished amazing client work with great employees who have been dependable and excellent at their jobs.

Over the years, we’ve also had our ups and downs—but lately it has been mostly downs. My partner is the creative genius and I’m the business guy. I’ll spare you the gory details, but over the course of the past year we’ve lost several employees to clients—and with them has gone some critical business.

I want to rebuild, but I am becoming more and more concerned with my partner’s behavior. He has always been a little flaky—he is a brilliant artist, after all—but he is becoming more and more erratic. He is either late for client meetings or doesn’t show up at all; he misses deadlines; and, worst of all, he shows substandard work to clients because he changes direction at the last minute.

When I take him to task, he tells me that I don’t know how hard it is to come up with good ideas and that he can’t rush the creative process. He confuses our remaining employees, who we can’t afford to lose, by giving them feedback that conflicts with mine.

I am losing heart and finding it hard to pitch new business when I have less and less confidence that we will be able to deliver. This business is our livelihood and I feel like I’m watching the whole thing swirling the drain. I’m torn between feeling resentful and feeling incredibly guilty for thinking about dissolving the partnership. I have some savings so I would be okay, but my partner has a large family to support and has zero cushion.

I feel terrible about the idea of cutting him loose but feel like I might have to in order to save myself. What to do, Madeleine?

Guilty

Dear Guilty,

Being in business for yourself is hard. Being in a business partnership compounds the complexity. Many people dream of starting their own company, but tales like yours are a powerful deterrent. It sounds as if you and your partner have had a great thing going for a long time with the sum adding up to more than the parts. And now one of you is not fulfilling his end of the bargain.

What, if any, agreements did you make in the beginning about the eventuality of one of you becoming unable to perform? Of course, your partner would first need to be accountable for his lack of productivity before you could bring up any agreements you might have made together.

The next option is the difficult “crossroads” conversation. This conversation needs to be identified as a critical juncture in the road, not just hard feedback. This is the big kahuna discussion where you both get everything on the table, hash things out, sift through it all, and start to work out a solution. I highly recommend you consider using the Heart to Heart Process created by Paul and Layne Cutright, a couple who have devoted their lives to helping people in partnerships of all kinds. You can find a step-by-step description of the process here.

I have used this process myself many times—I have a business partnership with my husband and I work in his family’s business, so I have an arsenal of communication tools! And I have used it to facilitate many difficult conversations for others. The key is for both you and your partner to trust each other enough to say what needs to be said so you can face reality together.

Hopefully you have enough history, respect, and affection for each other that you will be able to do it. You may discover some things that cause you to change your mind about ditching the whole business. You may very well fix the situation and get yourselves back on track. You may even hear some feedback that helps you to be a better partner yourself. Or you may hear enough to convince you that it is time to go your separate ways.

Ultimately, you will learn what you need to learn to make a sound decision and to do what you need to do to take care of yourself without guilt. And if you really make your best effort to talk things through, you will have nothing to feel guilty about.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I’m relatively new to a managerial position; I’ve been in my role for around two years. I was promoted from the ranks and am now leading a team that I was a member of when I first came to the company. This has created some interesting challenges—some I’ve overcome, others remain a work in progress.

My latest battle is the battle of the breaks. The company provides two paid break periods, 15 minutes each, in the morning and afternoon for all team members. At least half of the people on my team regularly—I mean twice a day, every day—help themselves to an extra 10 minutes, extending their breaks to 25 minutes each.

These breaks are a perk that is not mandated by any award or law. I feel annoyed that people abuse this privilege with such audacity. I have tried every tactic I can think of to keep my team on track with their breaks—carrots, sticks; you name it, I’ve tried it. They mend their ways for a few days but soon fall into bad habits again.

I’m at my wits’ end – how do I get them to stop chatting and get back to work? Please help.

At the Breaking Point

Dear At the Breaking Point,

I can appreciate how truly frustrating this situation is. It is really, really hard to go from being a peer to being a supervisor, as anyone who has done it will tell you.

I am pretty sure you were the one chosen to be manager because you were the most diligent and well behaved. Of course, these are the exact traits that make it easy for your former peers to torture you. Let’s stop making it so easy for them.

First, some questions. What exactly is the result of them taking these longer break times? What is not getting done? Are quotas suffering? Are clients being ignored? Are you being sanctioned by your boss? Other than you being driven insane by the disrespect, what is the problem?

I hate to be the one to tell you, but you have become the entertainment. Because you are hyper-focused on the misbehavior of your people and on your own annoyance, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they were doing it on purpose to see what kind of a rise they can get out of you. Maybe they are even taking bets and keeping score on who can push the envelope the furthest.

I am going to take your word that you have tried everything, because that means you’ll be ready to try the radical tactic I am going to propose.

Stop the cycle of you being the cross nanny who catches the children doing something wrong. Just stop. Stop paying attention to the breaks. Look away.

Instead, pay attention to the work that needs to get done. Pay attention to how people are stepping up and adding value. As Ken Blanchard so eloquently says, focus on “catching people doing things right.” Now, I can feel your blood pressure rising at the mere thought of this. As a card carrying control enthusiast myself I can seriously relate. But the more you try to control people, the more they will assert their God-given right to resist you.

I guarantee that once you take your attention off of the break shenanigans, the energy will change. Once that shift in dynamic has happened, you can gather a couple of folks you respect and ask them for feedback on the break times and what it would take for people to respect the guidelines. Once you figure that out, ask them to help solve whatever the real problem is.   If it is really just you being annoyed, then the problem has been solved.

If you treat people like ten-year-olds, they will behave like ten-year-olds. Instead, treat them like the adults they are and harness their wisdom. You clearly care deeply about the organization and about fairness. I hope they know how lucky they are to have you.

It is time to step up from being a clock-watching supervisor to being a leader. You will get much better performance from your people and your health will improve.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a staff manager at an academic institution. Of my eleven direct reports, seven have been with the University for more than thirty years and the rest have also been here for a long time.

They are smart and capable and very good at what they do, as they should be—they have been doing essentially the same job for most of their working lives. And that is the problem. I can get my people to do exactly their jobs and nothing more.

I read about work passion and engagement and achieving great things by harnessing discretionary energy, but this feels impossible with the culture in my department. I would bet that most of my people could get their jobs done in twenty hours a week and use the rest of the time for special projects that would enhance the department and benefit the organization. But anytime I throw out ideas for projects and ask for volunteers, I get blank stares and silence.

When I try to force the issue, I get constant pushback: “the busy season is just starting,” or “so and so is out on maternity leave and covering for her is overwhelming me.” You know the drill. It is so frustrating. How do I get these people inspired and energized?

Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

You are not going to like what I have to say about this. (I don’t even like it.) But I know from research and vast experience that it is true. Ready? Here goes: any institution that has not had to keep up with constant change can become a safe harbor for people who are set in their ways and happy to stay in their comfort zones. What you are actually talking about it is total culture change. You can never underestimate the power of culture to kill any plans you might have to change things. The culture you are fighting has been shaped over years and it does not welcome anything new including variations that might require a little extra effort. Revolution is not welcome here. You might be able to shift the culture to get people to step up—but I warn you that you will need both some serious grit and the following:

1. A fundamental shift in expectations for work production that is passed down from the highest possible leadership. If your department hasn’t been targeted for budget cuts, it is only a matter of time before it is. You can ask your boss what the future holds and get senior leader support for adding tasks or even whole key responsibility areas to individual workloads.
2. A plan to match people with tasks and projects that are interesting to them. You will need to have conversations with each person and ask big, open-ended questions that will get them thinking about what would make something new and different feel exciting instead of burdensome, or worse: scary. Examples of such questions:
   • “What would make you feel like jumping out of bed in the morning?”
   • “What made you interested in working in this field in the first place?”
   • “What do you read about/learn about in your spare time?”
   • “If you could wave a magic wand and do anything you want for work, what would it be?

Using this information to shape the right project for the right person will require some creativity but it should help your people feel some initiative and ownership for any new tasks.

3. An extremely compelling reason for people to change. In this way, motivation is less of a mystery and you can tap into what really motivates each individual person on your team. Each person will have core needs that get met at work—and it will be critical to understand what those are so that any change won’t affect them. In addition, the science of motivation tells us that people are most impacted by changes in their autonomy, relatedness, and competence, so focusing on how change will affect people in those areas will be key. Click here for more information on the art and science of motivation.

Finally, you might want to consider your own motivation—it sounds like your department is getting along just fine. Why fix something that isn’t broken? Perhaps your people are just dandy but you crave the excitement of a fast-paced, super challenging environment? It might be easier to move yourself to a new location than try to change the one you are in.

I warned you that you weren’t going to like it. I’m really sorry. I’m not saying you can’t do it—I’m just saying it will be the fight of your life and you’d better really, really want it.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

A long-time employee I really liked and respected recently left for another opportunity. I tried to keep her but couldn’t offer her enough money, so I gave her an excellent reference. The whole team was sad, and off she went with a fond farewell.

Surprisingly, while training her replacement, I was stunned to find an avalanche of work never done, errors concealed, and files in a state of chaos. I always knew she was a little slapdash, but I had no idea about the extent of her disorganization and deceptions.

I am ashamed and embarrassed in front of my employees that I allowed this to happen on my watch. I feel I should have known this was happening—perhaps I could have worked with her to fix the problems. Or perhaps I would have fired her years ago. Somehow she successfully kept me in the dark. I am tempted to call her new employer and rat her out for the phony she is—that’s how mad I am. How can I fix this? —Disappointed and Mad

Dear Disappointed and Mad,

There is really nothing quite like that sudden surprise of the rug being yanked out from under you, is there? One minute you are living in one reality and the next, everything is shifted. There is actually a neurological response when you expect one thing and you get a different, negative outcome. Neurochemicals associated with the flight-or-flight response are released—cortisol and adrenaline—and it feels like a car alarm going off in your brain.

So, let’s take a big step back, give the car alarm a chance to stop blaring in your head, and make a plan.

First, get a handle on your feelings. Shame, regret, and humiliation feel poisonous. Once you get a negative thought looping in your brain, it can be really hard to interrupt the pattern. There are a couple of excellent techniques that have been shown through experiments in social neuroscience to be very effective at loosening the grip of negative emotions.

• Labeling. It’s a misconception that talking about a difficult experience will only rub salt in the wound. This is only true if you ruminate—revisit the events with no tools to transform them for yourself. One way to make over the experience is to articulate how events made you feel and label them. You can do this with a therapist, a sympathetic HR professional, or a friend who is a good listener. You have already started to do it by writing your letter—a good first step. The more detailed you can get and the more specifically you can label how you feel, the less of a sting you will feel over time. You will gain some dominion over your experience instead of feeling like it has power over you. You will turn off the car alarm.
• Distancing techniques. Another tool to diminish the emotional turmoil you are dealing with is to tell yourself—in the third person—the story of the events that happened. Tell it as if it happened to someone else. For example, you might start the story, “I once knew this person who was betrayed by a trusted employee. Here’s what happened. . .” It may sound hokey, but it really works to help you get some perspective.
• Re-appraisal or re-framing. Right now you are taking all the responsibility for this debacle, which is actually kind of great. Many people would place all of the blame on the employee. So in this case, I would encourage you to take your newfound labels and your little bit of distance and use them to look at your situation and see how you might reframe the way you are interpreting events. You might consider how the environment in your workplace culture contributed to the situation. Or what about the part the employee played in the situation—she must have been charming, and a bit of a con. Con women are successful because they are masterful at diverting attention. You are not the first person to be hoodwinked!

These techniques, by the way, are useful for dealing with all kinds of deeply felt negative emotions that are getting in your way.

Once you have some equanimity about what happened, you can figure out what there is to learn from your mistake. I am betting this will never happen to you again. From a management standpoint, you will want to look at the extent to which you have absolute certainty that every single one of your people has the competence and commitment to do all of their tasks. Ken Blanchard always says that when people are starting on new tasks or goals, the manager has to start out giving lots of clear direction and not let up on the attention until there is ample evidence that the employee can be left on their own. It may be worth looking to see where this might be happening elsewhere, not to mention reviewing your performance management practices.

You are going to have to forgive your former employee and yourself. Hyrum Smith, known primarily as a time management guru and inventor for The Franklin Planner, has a wonderful point of view on forgiveness. He says that while most people say you have to forgive and forget, he says you actually have to forgive and remember, and then decide it doesn’t matter anymore. I have found this concept to be extremely useful. Remember, first learn from it. Then, when you are ready, decide it is no longer important.

Finally, under no circumstances should you contact the new employer. You would be breaking way too many HR laws and it’s just not worth it. Revenge is so tempting, but succumbing to it wouldn’t help you grow—it would only add to the list of things you feel ashamed of. The best revenge is to get smarter and stronger.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I don’t like the word accountability. It’s always rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I think it’s because it assumes the worst about people. When we talk about accountability, it always seems the assumption is a person is incapable of, or unlikely to, follow through on his/her commitments. So we spend a lot of time and energy creating systems, processes, or consequences to make the sure the person is held accountable.

I prefer the word responsibility. To me, responsibility has a positive connotation. It’s starting with the mindset that a person will be responsible if he/she is given the necessary tools and training. If a person is responsible, you don’t have to worry about him/her being accountable. Responsibility breeds accountability. Whereas focusing on accountability is only treating the symptoms of a performance issue, addressing responsibility is treating the root cause.

So how can leaders help their people develop an inherent sense of responsibility? Here’s five steps to get started:

1. Create a motivating work environment – You can’t motivate anyone. (What? Did he just say I can’t motivate anyone? Isn’t that one of my primary responsibilities as a leader?) Yes, I just said that. You can’t motivate anyone. Every person is responsible for his/her own motivational outlook. What you can do is create a work environment that allows your people to maximize their sense of autonomy, increase their level of relatedness with others, and develop competence in their work. Autonomy, relatedness, and competence are the variables that allow a person to be optimally motivated and it’s our jobs as leaders to foster an environment that brings out the best in our people.

2. Let your people take the lead in goal setting as much as possible – Think about your own experience. When have you felt the greatest sense of commitment to a goal? When you created it yourself (or had a hand in it), or when a goal was assigned to you? Most likely it was when you were involved in setting the goal because you had a sense of ownership. It was your goal, not someone else’s. Your people will exhibit more responsibility for accomplishing their goals if they are involved in setting them.

3. Be clear on expectations – If people are going to be responsible, they need to clearly understand the expectations of their commitment. Many times our frustrations with people not being accountable is due to a lack of clear expectations. Make sure people know why the goal is important, what the deadlines are, and what constitutes success. If the situation requires you to follow through with negative consequences, do so. Don’t make hollow threats.

4. Use the right leadership style – Your people have different levels of competence and commitment on each of their goals. It’s your job as a leader to flex your leadership style to provide the proper amount of direction and support your people need to accomplish their goals. If you don’t set your people up to be responsible and successful in achieving their goals, that’s on you, not them. (Hold yourself accountable…errr…responsible).

5. Let go – I’ve written previously about balancing control and responsibility. It’s easy to grab control from people when you see them underachieving or shirking their responsibilities. That doesn’t help your people develop responsibility and it only adds to your stress level and workload. If you’ve properly trained and equipped your people, you need to let go and let them succeed or fail on their own.

Starting with these five steps puts the onus on your people to live up to their responsibilities. It’s up to them to hold themselves accountable…to be responsible. The leadership mindset underpinning these steps is one of trust. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.” Trust your people to rise to the occasion, to be worthy of your trust. Odds are they will prove themselves to be responsible and you won’t have to worry about holding them accountable.

Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

I’ll take that last part first. For the record, I prefer to pretend that the concept of luck doesn’t really exist—because if it didn’t, any magical thing that happened to help us along the way would just be a bonus.

Now for the main question. In my experience, there is no one thing that makes someone successful. I believe real success involves a combination of eight critical components—and that a person needs all eight of these qualities to truly succeed. I’ve found that someone who has most but not all of them will almost always fall short of achieving what they think they are truly capable of. The good news is the majority of these things can be acquired or learned—and a coach can help a client uncover which elements are missing and which to focus on first.

To start, a client must have three prerequisite qualities:

1. Reasonable Intelligence. You don’t have to be that smart, just smart enough.
2. Talent. No matter your desired area for success, you do need to have some natural ability in that area.
3. Passion. You really have to want it.

Then here are the five elements where a coach can step in and help:

4. Goal Orientation. “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” This quote is attributed to both George Harrison and Mark Twain, but it is essentially a paraphrase of what Cheshire Cat said to Alice in Wonderland, who did not know where to go. To be goal oriented, you need to have a sense of where you want to go. A coach can help with designing and articulating the vision and can teach fundamental goal setting skills. Excellent models are out there, and a little practice and attention go a long way.
5. Discipline. An unwavering work ethic may come naturally or it may be achieved with a great deal of accountability. Either way, it is non-negotiable.
6. Patience. Nothing moves as quickly as we want it to. Staying the course through elongated timelines can be easier with support.
7. Persistence. Disappointment is extraordinarily difficult and requires resilience. A coach can offer a variety of mental tools to help get you back on your feet after you fall down.
8. The ability to build and nurture a network of relationships. This is natural for some, but can be slap dash and a learned behavior for others. A little analysis, focus, and planning can really make the difference.

How are you doing in each of these areas? Which are your strengths? Which are your personal weak spots? With focus, assistance from others, and a disciplined, patient, persistent approach, a coach can help a client attack each component and stay with the job as long as it takes.

And a little pinch of luck never hurts!

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I manage the creative design department for my company and have for years. We have a reputation for offering inspired and visually arresting products—because of me, basically. My boss is a great guy; I actually followed him here from another company. In fact, that may be the problem—my boss is just too nice.

I have the kind of job that requires my team and me to deliver on tight, time-sensitive deadlines. Everyone who works with me knows that sometimes we will have to work late or come in early, and that we can’t take undue time off during crunch periods. I am also extremely rigorous about the work we produce—after all, our reputation depends on it! I often give direct reports hard feedback to help them bring their work up to standard.

Sometimes when one of my people wants to take time off and I have told them no, they go running to my boss. The next thing I know, he calls me on the carpet for being too tough. What’s worse is when he tells a person they can take the time off they want, even when they are working on a big fat deadline. Of course, he doesn’t talk to me about how I am supposed to meet the deadline! I recently was admonished by HR when a direct report exceeded their PTO and it was because my boss told the person they could!

It is impossible to get things done when my boss doesn’t support my decisions. He wants everyone to love him, but it is at my expense.

Overridden

Dear Overridden,

So many middle managers are busy protecting their people from the slings and arrows of the folks upstairs—but you seem to have the opposite problem. This is definitely a tough one. Your boss wouldn’t be the first leader to be undone by their own need to be liked.

I hear the anger and resentment you are feeling and it is probably getting in the way of what really needs to happen—you need to sit down with your boss and hash out some boundaries.

Here is something I have tested with both myself and clients. It is a 7-step process for a conversation, taken from the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. This approach is a good way to call out natural, forgivable human behaviors that everybody engages in at one time or another.

1. Name the issue (g., your people go running to your boss when they don’t like what you’ve said).
2. Select 2 or 3 specific examples of the behavior or situation you want to change.
3. Describe your emotion about this issue (e.g., it makes you feel unsupported by him).
4. Clarify what is at stake—and be very clear about this. Is this a problem because you can’t get your job done or because you are losing credibility?
5. Identify your contribution to the problem. Is it possible that you are too tough on your people? Be honest.
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the issue, being specific about what resolved looks like to you. This is critical and will provide you both with a measure so that you will know if the fix is successful.
7. Invite your partner/boss to respond.

The thing I like most about this process is that it forces you to prepare for a conversation about one problem and one only. You can’t pile on with everything your boss does that drives you crazy—but maybe you can get him to change one thing he does that is hindering your success.

Good luck to you.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Want to get the most out of your leadership training investment? Here is a three-step process using coaching to support learning that helps leaders  master new skills after they complete a training program.

1. Start with valid feedback. Use a validated assessment to identify the leader’s strengths as well as areas that need improvement. Be sure the information you are starting with is credible in the eyes of the leader.  It can be difficult for someone to make behavioral changes if they have any doubt about the accuracy of the information.
2. Focus. Review the training materials and the assessment data and identify a few carefully chosen areas to work on in coaching. Customized attention to a relevant business need creates direct application of learning.  Focused sessions with a coach provide the opportunity to practice new responses, which helps a leader build skills and confidence.
3. Use a coach as an accountability partner. To support the learner’s practice and mastery, plan on at least two or three phone coaching sessions within eight weeks of the leader’s training sessions. Doing this allows the learner to not only get the dedicated focus of how to apply new concepts but also use their coach as their accountability partner. The leader/learner can sharpen their skills between coaching sessions.

Make sure your organization is getting the most out of its training dollars. Using a coach provides an opportunity for the leader to master newly learned skills while it gives the organization a way to improve communication, relationships, morale, and the retention of good people.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a great team at a large construction engineering firm. I feel that my boss is being taken advantage of by a couple of my peers who report to him. My boss travels a lot, so he is never here to see what really goes on, but I see people coming in late, leaving early, and claiming that their plate is full and they can’t take on more work when I know they are on their computers trolling shopping sites for deals. Meanwhile, I keep taking on more and more.

My team is, and I am, really at capacity in terms of workload and I am getting resentful.  Should I rat people out? I really don’t want to, but this situation is getting out of hand. 

– Don’t Want to be a Rat

Dear Don’t Want to be a Rat,

I totally understand your frustration – I do – it stinks to be working like a dog while others are goofing around.  But the answer is not to rat out your slacking peers.  I can pretty much guarantee that it will not get you the result you want.  One question I would ask is this: what metrics does your boss use to measure performance? Is your team crushing the numbers vis a vis the other teams? For a lot of managers these days, hours and work styles are less important than actual performance. Teams are measured by the outcomes they reach more than by lesser variables such as time spent, attendance and the degree to which they shop online at work. In fact, studies have shown that when employees are allowed shop online, they tend to work harder—often coming in earlier and staying later because they don’t have to use off-work time to shop.

Ratting is really only to be used as a last resort in the case of ethical violations or serious matters that could risk people’s safety or cause great harm to the firm.  Why?  Because you might be seen as petty minded, judgmental, or interfering by your boss, who—to make things worse—might not like being told how to do his job. You might even end up ratting on someone who could get promoted and be your boss in the future. Ratting could earn you a reputation that follows you for your entire career.  The ultimate truth is that nobody likes a rat, and the cost of ratting is often high. So if you are going to risk it, only do it in dire circumstances.

But.  You have to do something because, as it is said, holding on to resentment is like taking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.  So. Here is what you can do: take care of yourself, your people, and your corner of the yard.  Set proper boundaries and don’t take on more work than is fair. Put your attention on your people and support them to do impeccable work so your team rises above the average performance of others.

Channel your anger into doing an amazing job and do anything you can to let go of your anger—because ultimately, it hurts only you.  Good luck.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Instead, I recently have been working with clients to approach performance management as a way to leverage an employee’s contributions toward organization goals.

The subtle but important distinction between performance management and contribution management can turn a once-negative process into a positive “How can I help you succeed?” approach.

For this kind of partnering to work, managers need to have a few prerequisites in place.  Without them, you will continue to find yourself assessing and evaluating performance instead of working in tandem with direct reports to help them succeed. Think you are ready for this more positive approach?  See how you would score yourself in each of these key areas.

Well defined goals with a clear line of sight. Employees need to own their contribution. This occurs when they can clearly map their work to overall department and organization goals and are empowered to take action.

Surprisingly, though, survey results of over 500 managers in our leadership development classes show only 20 percent of managers reporting alignment between themselves and their direct reports.  Without defined goals and a clear line of sight, people are left in the dark. Work becomes a guessing game where workers are on a need-to-know basis. This creates a dependency, not a partnership.

Identification of current development level. For contribution management to truly work, a manager has to be able to accurately assess the employee’s development level on a given task, identify what the person needs to succeed, and then partner with them on the proper amounts of direction and support.

Assessing these needs accurately requires identifying an employee’s current competence at a task and commitment to achieving it. Competence is the knowledge and skills an individual brings to a goal or task and is best determined by demonstrated performance. Commitment is a combination of an individual’s motivation and confidence on a goal or task.

Ongoing coaching. Once clear performance objectives have been set, the next step is to set up recurring one-on-one meetings to regularly monitor progress against goals. This time also can be used to problem solve roadblocks, change goals as business direction changes, and re-evaluate training and resource needs.

The one-on-one conversation is critical and allows leaders to leverage the competence and commitment of their people in an efficient way. A coach-style approach allows managers to connect with each employee, focus the conversation, develop an action plan, and review next steps and resources needed to succeed. 

More Than a Name Change

It’s time to think differently about the relationship of the individual to the organization. Instead of assessment and evaluation, focus on alignment of goals, identification of development level, and providing day-to-day support.

When it is done right, contribution management is much more than a name change. It is a complete rethinking of the performance appraisal process that offers managers and direct reports the opportunity to build their relationship as they work together on objectives and create a road map for success.

About the Author

John Slater is a Senior Director, Client Solutions for The Ken Blanchard Companies working out of Blanchard’s Toronto, Ontario regional headquarters in Canada.

Dear Madeleine,

I have an excellent employee who has been working for me for over three years. She has always had a good attitude and she meets her deadlines, turns out reliable work product, and gets along with others—truly a model employee. 

The problems started about four months ago when she started coming in late, leaving early, missing deadlines, and making excuses.  I have been cutting her a lot of slack because she has always been so great, but now her peers are coming to me with complaints and I need to do something. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make things worse by de-motivating her. I don’t know where to start. – Cutting Slack 

Dear Cutting Slack,

This is a classic situation—and boy, is it tough. When excellent employees like this one start letting you down, it is almost always because of something going on in their personal life. It could be a health problem or some kind of big transition involving herself or someone close to her, or serious money trouble. Sometimes there is a mental health or addiction problem at play that might cause your employee to be secretive because of embarrassment. The usual instinct for a great employee is to buckle down and try to tough it out without making a big deal of it at work, which is often not realistic or sustainable. If your employee is a very private person it will be even harder for her to talk about what is going on, even without sharing details.

Your big job is to not let this situation go on—especially since others have noticed. You must confront her, gently and kindly, with the truth. And HR needs to get involved, for several reasons. You have to document what has been going on so that you have a reasonable and objective record. When your people are going through tough times it’s really easy to cut them a break for a little while, but over the long term you may be left holding the bag. So after you understand the situation, set up a timeline for getting back to normal and create a contingency plan in case getting back to normal is not an option. Your employee may benefit from EAP offerings, or she may need some kind of compassionate or long-term unpaid leave.

I know it will feel like you’re kicking her when she is down, but most workplaces are set up to require 100 percent from each person. It is ultimately unfair to you and your team members to let someone underperform too long for any reason. If your employee really does have a big problem, you can organize your team to support her outside of work by setting up a meal delivery schedule, for example.

Don’t delay, Cutting Slack. Deal with this situation with compassion and care—but deal with it head on.

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“Think of Yelp or TripAdvisor,” says Kathy Cuff, coauthor of Legendary Service: The Key Is to Care. “You can go online and read hundreds of experiences other people have had with individual employees at thousands of restaurants, resorts, and other companies. What does this mean to you? It means that one customer’s good or bad experience with one of your employees can become front page news for other prospective customers at precisely the time they are considering buying a product or service from your company.

In an interview for this month’s issue of Blanchard Ignite! Cuff explains that, “Today’s customer has a big megaphone in that small mobile device and isn’t afraid to use it. Here’s an example: I was on a flight recently that was delayed because of weather. Finally, at midnight, the flight was canceled. As the airline was trying to rebook all of us, a young man behind me logged into Twitter and started tweeting about how frustrated he was with the airline and how horrible they were.

“I got on standby for the first flight out in the morning because I had mileage status with that airline, but the young man was rerouted on a later flight and wouldn’t get to his destination until 24 hours later. I settled into a chair to take a nap until morning.

“When I got in line for my flight, I was surprised to see this man at the gate. I asked him what had happened and he said, ‘I’m on this flight—my tweets did it.’ So apparently as a result of the man’s incessant negative tweeting about his experience, the airline put him on the same flight I was on.”

Any experience a customer has with one employee suddenly can become accessible across the entire mobile platform, says Cuff. This means that now more than ever, every employee has to be responsible for customer service—and that can only happen if you build service into the culture of your company.

“The best companies exhibit a service mindset throughout the entire organization. It’s not just a frosting of friendly people on the front lines,” explains Cuff. It’s baked into the entire organization.

“It’s great when an organization has good people dealing with external customers on the front lines. The problem arises when those people need help and are not supported by their coworkers or managers. Colleagues don’t return phone calls or are short with each other, or managers are unresponsive.

“If you want a true customer focused organization, start internally. You can’t just have a few people out there serving the customer. Today’s customers interact with all aspects of your organization and you need to be strong at all levels. Directly or indirectly, everyone needs to be serving someone.”

In the new issue of Training Industry magazine best-selling business author Ken Blanchard outlines an effective 7-step process for redirecting behavior that is off-track.  Drawing from his just released book with Spencer Johnson, The NEW One Minute Manager, Blanchard shares a model for leaders looking to provide feedback in a way that helps people learn and see what they need to do differently.

Re-direct the person as soon as possible. Do a re-direct as soon as you become aware of the mistake. When you catch mistakes early on, you can give feedback in small doses and the person can learn from it.

Confirm, review, and be specific. Review what went wrong. Make sure the goal you originally set with the person was clear. If it wasn’t, take responsibility for that, and clarify the goal. Specify exactly how the person’s behavior didn’t support your mutual goal.

Express how you feel about the mistake and its impact on results. Don’t attack the person, but do share how you feel about it. Sharing honest emotions about what you see going wrong—as well as concern about the possible negative effects on results highlights the importance of the work and your shared responsibility for succeeding.

Be quiet for a moment.  Allow people time to feel concerned about what they’ve done. Once you’ve told the person how you feel, pause for a few seconds to let it sink in. This quiet time is surprisingly important. It gives the person a chance to feel concerned about their mistake and think about the impact it might have.

Remember to let them know you think well of them as a person. Now your focus turns from the behavior to the person. Let them know that they are not their behavior; they’re the person managing their behavior. Assure them you think well of them personally. Tell them you don’t expect a repeat of that mistake and that you look forward to continuing to work with them on the goal.

Remind them that you have confidence and trust in them, and support their success. No matter how delicately you’ve redirected someone, they may still be feeling defensive. By reaffirming that you value and appreciate them, they’ll be more apt to learn and less prone to rationalize or blame somebody else. When you walk away, you want the person to think about what they did, not talk to a coworker about how they were mistreated.

Realize that when the re-direct is over, it’s over. The re-direct only takes about a minute, and when it’s over, it’s over.

Blanchard shares that handled well, redirection can be a learning experience for both leaders and direct reports. By refocusing on the goal, together you can strategize how to align performance with the desired result. And because the situation ends positively, it can help you forge an even stronger relationship.

What’s your approach to redirecting unwanted behavior? You can read more in Ken Blanchard’s column, Leadership 2.0.  It appears quarterly in Training Industry magazine.  To learn more about Blanchard’s book with Spencer Johnson, visit The NEW One Minute Manager book page.

Dear Madeleine,

What’s the best way to give correction to a sensitive top performer?

I have a senior person on my team who is good at her job and takes great pride in performance excellence.

But when I try to give her anything less than positive feedback she’s practically in tears and proceeds to beat herself up for days: “Oh, I should have known better! I’m such a loser! You should just get rid of me!”

I’ve become hesitant to say anything that hints of criticism because of the emotion it produces. –Withholding Feedback

Dear Withholding,

This is a tough, but fairly common, situation when dealing with top performers. Many are driven by a need to avoid being criticized.

But before putting this all on her, let me first ask you a question: Is it possible your feedback comes across as harsh? The distinction can be as subtle as “You were late turning in that brief” vs. “That brief was late.” Using you can make people feel defensive, as can asking why.

If you are confident your delivery is not the problem, plan for the conversation thoughtfully. Be sure to broach the subject when things are going fine—in other words, strike while the iron is cold. Now be clear, concise and forward-focused. Here are some guidelines:

1. Identify the pressing concern. For example, “When I give you redirection or make suggestions for possible improvements, you seem to take it to heart, and very personally.”
2. Clarify the issue. Cite specific examples of the behavior in question. Keep things neutral by sharing only your observations.
3. Tell her how you feel the current situation affects both of you. Share with her that her behavior has caused you to become hesitant to give her important feedback you believe would be to her benefit.
4. Find out if she believes the problem lies with you. Ask her if she has any observations on how you might be contributing to the situation.
5. Determine the future implications. Have a discussion about what may happen if nothing changes.
6. Commit to making a request. Think about what you want her new behavior to look like and then ask for exactly what you want. Offer to support her in making the change.
7. Describe the ideal outcome. Talk about the difference it would make for both of you if her behavior were to change.
8. Reinforce her value. At the end of the discussion, it’s essential to endorse the things she does well and share the ways in which she is an asset to the team. This step is even more important when you are dealing with a high performer.

One caveat, though: following these eight steps doesn’t guarantee a quick change. Her behavior could be a lifelong habit born from a need to protect herself. But by following the eight guidelines above, you should find yourself in a better position to offer necessary redirection while avoiding most of the emotion. It’s worth the effort. Let me know how it works out.

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In The New One Minute Manager, just released this week, authors Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson lay out a time-tested approach to help managers deliver needed feedback. Here are some key takeaways you can use to improve your feedback skills.

Do Your Homework

Before you rush to deliver feedback, make sure clear agreements about goals, norms, roles, and expectations have been established. Often the root cause of poor performance is a lack of clarity around goals. Verify with your direct report that the two of you are operating from the same set of expectations. Many performance issues can be rectified at this stage.

Focus on Behavior

If goals were clear and there is a gap between expectations and observed performance, talk about it. Describe the behavior in specific, not general, terms. Use a neutral tone to ward off any sense of blame or judgment—remember that you are addressing the behavior, not attacking the person. The goal is not to tear people down, but to build them up. As Blanchard and Johnson explain, “When our self-concept is under attack, we feel a need to defend ourselves and our actions, even to the extent of distorting the facts. When people become defensive, they don’t learn.”

Let it Sink In

After giving feedback, pause for a moment so you both can process the situation. Let your direct report feel your concern as well as their own.

Move On

When it’s over, it’s over. Don’t dwell on the experience. Be sure to reaffirm your belief, trust, and respect for your team member so that when your meeting is over they are thinking about how they can improve their performance, not about how you mistreated them. Expect that the feedback will be received and acted upon. Be ready to endorse and praise performance when you see improvement.

Take an Extra Minute with Your People

Blanchard and Johnson like to say, “The best minute I spend is the one I invest in my people.” Feedback is an essential managerial skill. Take an extra minute to improve your skills in this important area.

To learn more about the authors’ approach to performance feedback, check out The New One Minute Manager book page. You’ll learn more about the book and see what others are saying. You can even download a free chapter!

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve got a member of my team who has “retired in place.” No matter what I try, I can’t get him to engage. Any thoughts?

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

I think the only thing to do in this situation is to have a serious sit-down with your disengaged team member. First, put the facts as you see them on the table and let him know you’re looking for a substantial change in attitude and behavior. Be prepared with:

• A clear vision of what it would look like if he were to “come out of retirement”—a picture of a job well done.
• Concrete observations of how his disengagement is affecting both the team and the results the team is trying to achieve.
• Clear requests for the changes you want to see, with a timeline. This is a critical piece—there has to be a deadline.
• Unambiguous consequences—what will happen if you see no change?

Now I’ll add a second component.

All the latest research about motivation makes it clear that people can choose to be more engaged—it is an internal proposition. Blanchard’s research into Optimal Motivation focuses on three key psychological needs all people have—needs for Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence.

Consider what you could do to encourage autonomy and perception of choice; deepen relatedness (quality of relationships, meaning and purpose); and increase competence (a sense of growing and learning) for this employee. Exploring these areas with him could get at some of the root causes of his disengagement.

This kind of conversation takes a certain amount of courage—but I guarantee it will bring about results of one kind or another. Your only alternative is to allow the situation to continue, which would eventually cause resentment among the rest of your team.

For detailed help on how to have Challenging Conversations, see our white paper Challenging Conversations–Strategies for Turning Conflict into Creativity. And let me know how things work out!

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Her break turns out to be a permanent relocation to sunnier climes while Horton sits on the egg through wind, rain, and snow, faithfully caring for Mayzie’s baby.

Because it is a children’s book, Horton ends up being rewarded, but in real life, sometimes it can feel like “no good deed goes unpunished.”*

Many managers I work with end up taking on their people’s work simply because they are nice. When pressed, here are some reasons they give—followed by a coaching question I might ask.

Client Response 1: “I don’t think it’s fair to ask people to stay late or work on weekends.”  Coaching Question 1: Perhaps not, but is it fair that you are doing it?

Client Response 2: “I’m so familiar with the task that it will take me far less time than it will take him.” Coaching Question 2: How will he ever get as good and fast as you if you won’t let him figure it out?

Client Response 3: “My people are already overwhelmed with the new project.” Coaching Question 3: There may be some overstating on this score. How long has that excuse been milked?

Some managers take the message of being the servant leader so much to heart that they end up working a lot harder than any of their team members. And not to be cynical, but some employees will take advantage of the situation if they know their manager is a really nice person.

Are you Horton? Cut it out.

Chances are, someone has you pegged for a softie and is taking full advantage of it. It’s also possible that by being too patient and taking on more work than you should, you are thwarting your employees’ development. There is a huge gap between being such a big meanie that you burn people out and being such a softie that your employees are never challenged to rise to the occasion, learn new things, and become more efficient. A couple of rules of thumb to follow:

• Set a standard for how much work, outside of regular work hours, is acceptable to you and check in with individual team members to assess how much is acceptable to each of them. Make group standards and your expectations crystal clear if there will be times when all team members will need to put in a few late days or extra hours on weekends.
• Keep everything up front and transparent and make sure everyone is carrying a fairly equal load. The more that things are above board and clear, the less likely it is for one or two people to fly under the radar and get away with doing less.
• Keep careful track of who goes above and beyond, and publicly acknowledge and reward them when they do.
• Develop your team—specifically so that you can use the right leadership style to develop each of your team members to do tasks that are a no-brainer for you.
• If you can’t get the work done within your own and your group’s standards, this is an indication that you have a different problem to solve; for example, perhaps you are not setting limits with your own boss.

Help yourself and your people by setting clear expectations, and then promoting growth, transparency,and fairness.

*Attributed to Oscar Wilde and Clare Booth Luce

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation. Previous posts in this series:

Are You A Workplace Freedom Fighter?

Empowerment—One Time When It’s Not a Good Idea

Are You TOO Nice? 4 Ways to Be Compassionate and Fair

Delaying Feedback? No News Is Not Always Good News

Providing Clear Direction—You’re Not Being Bossy; You’re Being A Boss

Setting Boundaries: 7 Ways Good Managers Get It Wrong

The Well-Intentioned Manager’s New Year’s Resolution: Have More Fun

The Top Three Mistakes Good Managers Make

Managing Polarities: A Key Skill for the Well-Intentioned Manager

However, you aren’t doing anyone any favors if you don’t give feedback. The employee suffers, and in the end so does the whole organization.

I recently spoke with a leader in a company who wanted me to coach a director-level person who had been with the organization for nine years.

As he explained, “Her first manager was a wimp and no one has ever given her any feedback. All of her bad habits just got more ingrained. When she finally came to work for me, I gave her some sorely needed feedback and her response was ‘No one has ever told me that before. It must be you.’

“We have to shift this situation,” he concluded.

I had to laugh because it was the perfect scenario of what happens when managers don’t give feedback right out of the gate. The employee in question goes along unaware thinking “no news is good news,” and gets transferred—or promoted—to other managers who are too freaked out by the person’s obliviousness to say anything.

And the problem just grows and grows. Each manager solves the problem by foisting the employee onto someone else. This can go on for years. When the time comes to cut the person loose, you have the perfect recipe for a lawsuit because the employee had no reason to believe they weren’t the perfect employee all along. Michael Fertik, founder of Reputation.com, calls this “The Long Linger” in a recent Harvard Business Review blog post The Problem with Being Too Nice.

Is this you? You know who you are. Cut it out. Give the feedback. Use a neutral, nonjudgmental tone of voice, make an observation, offer redirection, and make a clear request for a change. Make sure you are clear about what the change looks like and that you find ways to measure or track whether the change is being made. If you are a manager, this is your job.

Need more help? Here are some expanded guidelines for giving feedback:

• Before giving feedback, be sure clear agreements have been established about goals, norms, roles, and expectations.
• Make sure the relationship has sufficient trust. Ask the direct report for permission to give feedback, or at least prepare them if you need to share something that might be delicate or hard to hear.
• Use a neutral demeanor to eliminate blame and judgment. Be aware of your nonverbal communication and tone. If this is a challenge for you, practice using neutral language.
• Be timely and give feedback immediately or as quickly as possible, but not in the heat of the moment. If you can’t control your emotions, wait until you can before giving feedback.
• Be relevant. Feedback needs to be focused on moving forward—not about something in past that will never happen again. Giving feedback about past events that are unlikely to recur serves no purpose and can damage trust.
• Focus on behaviors that are within the employee’s control. Beating people up for things outside of their control is unreasonable.
• Be specific and descriptive. Describe the behaviors or data rather than giving generalizations.

Feedback given soon, fairly, and within the bounds of a trusting relationship can be a gift. The other person now has the opportunity to examine and make changes in their behavior, knowing their manager has their best interests at heart.

About this column

Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Previous posts in this series:

Providing Clear Direction—You’re Not Being Bossy; You’re Being A Boss

Setting Boundaries: 7 Ways Good Managers Get It Wrong

The Well-Intentioned Manager’s New Year’s Resolution: Have More Fun

The Top Three Mistakes Good Managers Make

Managing Polarities: A Key Skill for the Well-Intentioned Manager

The article summarizes some of the key takeaways from the book, and shares important concepts for individuals and leaders to consider when evaluating their own motivation—or when they are trying to help others with theirs.

1. Recognize that each of us is already motivated—it just the quality of our motivation that might be a problem. Some forms of motivation are sustainable, satisfying, and promote well-being while others don’t.  Fowler explains that leaders need to ask why people are motivated to do what’s been asked of them.  Otherwise we end up with well known examples such as the young student who hates law school because of the pressure his parents put on him to succeed.
2. Encourage autonomy. Give people options.  Even when you are discussing deadlines, frame them as useful information for achieving important goals rather than hammers for applying pressure.
3. Deepen relatedness. Appreciate the vital role emotions and feelings play in creating connection.
4. Develop people’s competence. At the end of the day, it’s not just about what a person accomplishes; it’s also about how they are growing.
5. Promote mindfulness. Prompt awareness of options a person may not have considered. Ask open ended questions to help individuals rise above old, unhelpful patterns of behavior.
6. Align with values. Help others align their work to meaningful values that generate positive energy, vitality, and sense of well-being.
7. Connect to purpose. Few things in life are more powerful than acting from a noble purpose.

You can read the entire Costco Connection article here.  For more information on Fowler’s new book—including a free chapter download—visit the Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does book page.

Please don’t be too alarmed if you see yourself in one of these descriptions—that was one of my intentions. I wanted to make it easy for you to identify yourself. After all, you can’t craft a solution until you identify the real nature of the problem. My intention in using the labels is to keep things fun and light, but also to be clear.  Okay, here goes:

The In-Director. You believe people don’t like to be bossed around, and you don’t want people to think you’re bossy.  So you don’t give super clear direction—but then you’re disappointed in the results.

The Punch Puller. You are afraid of damaging the relationship or demotivating the employee, so you don’t give constructive, developmental feedback when needed. Even when you are forced to give feedback, you fail to make clear requests.

Ms. Max Flex. You are so sympathetic and so empathetic to the needs of your employees that you—perhaps inadvertently—put their needs ahead of the team or the business.

Captain Empowerment. You have such a high value for fairness that you treat everyone the same way regardless of their competence or skill levels. Your mantra is “You can do it!” despite ample evidence to the contrary—and you think if you believe in people enough, they won’t let you down.

The Freedom Fighter. Your own need for freedom blinds you to the fact that not everyone has the same needs. You give people way more rope than they want and the result can be frustration—or even failure.

Horton the Elephant. Maisy the flaky bird flies south for a nonstop party while Horton sits on her eggs through rain, hail and snow. Are you Horton? Simply too patient for your own good and letting your people take advantage of you?

The Wuss. You let your need to be liked get the better of you, at great cost to your own success. You may suffer from aspects of some or all of the above conditions. What you know for sure is that you tolerate way too much and let your people walk all over you.

Is There A Cure?

The good news is that all of these behaviors stem from your being a generous and kind person—but they can really hurt you and your team. Stay tuned and I’ll go into a little more detail about each one over the next few weeks. In the meantime if you recognize yourself, one of your direct reports, or your boss here, note examples of these behaviors as you move through your days. The more specific and concrete you can be about behaviors that aren’t working, the easier it will be to shift them.

PS: Are there other behaviors you’ve seen that I’ve missed? If you have an idea for a different challenge or label, I would love to hear it.  Just add it to the comments section below!

About this column

Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Previous posts in this series:

The Well-Intentioned Manager’s New Year’s Resolution: Have More Fun

The Top Three Mistakes Good Managers Make

Managing Polarities: A Key Skill for the Well-Intentioned Manager

• You made a bad hire—and the person does not have the skills or ability to learn the skills needed for the job, or is not a cultural fit for your organization; or

• The individual’s bad attitude negatively affects others and the work—no matter how much coaching and encouragement you provide.

In my experience, most of the time we can avoid letting someone go by following a simple four-step process that eliminates the problem instead of the employee.

Step 1: Set clear expectations for performance. 

People need to know what a good job looks like. Leaders must be able to paint a clear picture of the results they want employees to achieve. That includes clear measures of success. Performance is sometimes off target because clear targets were never set.

Step 2: Provide day-to-day coaching.

Make time to provide direction on new tasks, to praise progress and acknowledge results, and to listen and encourage as needed. The amount of direction and support you provide should correlate to the person’s competence and commitment on each goal or task. Make sure you get to know each individual personally so that you may effectively adapt your coaching to their situation.

Step 3: Hold regular one-on-one meetings.

At least once a month, get together with each of your direct reports to discuss how things are going. The best one-on-ones are scheduled by the manager but led by the direct report. It is their chance to share progress, talk about obstacles they are facing, and work with you to solve problems.

Step 4: Catch performance problems early and solve them together.

The sooner you catch a performance problem, the easier it is to address. As soon as you notice a pattern of poor performance, have an open discussion. Involve the person in solving the problem. Set a time to follow up to ensure that the problem is solved.

On the surface, these four steps may seem like common sense—but they are far from common practice. Take some extra time with your people. Following these four steps will not only dramatically reduce the number of performance problems in your team but also result in an increase in overall employee productivity, engagement, and retention.

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in productivity and performance management.

But sometimes there’s a downside to this kind of efficiency. Sometimes the fast way doesn’t work and we go off course. Such is the case with a great many approaches to motivating employees. Just when the situation calls for deliberation and a different approach, our habits kick in and we again head down the route that is fast and easy, but a bit off course.

One of my coaching clients recently worked through such a situation. He had been leading a team for five years and for that whole time, no matter what the task, goal, or situation, he attacked it—pushing, leaning in, and constantly pressing ahead as was his habit. This fire-drill approach to goal achievement worked for him in that a lot of work got done. Unfortunately, though, it resulted in many of his teammates feeling imposed upon, overly pressured, harried. And that caused them to start leaning out—away from the work and away from him. This circular dynamic became a spiraling motivational problem—the more he leaned in, the more they leaned out, and the more he leaned in…

When he called me in, my client thought I was going to work with his team to get them to be more accountable. But the real work ultimately was in helping him see how his habit of pressing, pressing, pressing was in itself triggering the problems with his team.

Replacing my client’s habit of relentless pressure with a different method was necessary. What did my client learn to do? He learned to take a lighter motivational approach. Here’s how:

1. Via interviews, we collected unvarnished feedback about the problems he was creating. We sought comments relating only to his problematic behavior, because we wanted the intervention to focus on helping him stop doing the things that had made it “difficult to breathe,” as his teammates had reported.  He and I met with each person to discuss their feedback openly so that he could see, hear, and feel how he was affecting each person.
2. He apologized. No elaborate explanations of his intentions or grand stories about why his habit was necessary and useful. He simply said, “I’m sorry.”
3. He learned how to involve people in pacing the work so that they could collectively agree how to proceed, even in the face of intense organizational timelines.
4. He asked his peers to tell him what to do instead of always pushing his own solutions.
5. He asked his peers to tell him what the impact of this shift would be on them. (Everyone answered they would feel more positively motivated and happier.)
6. The team began a new ritual of celebrating progress anytime a member called for it—not only at the end when the result was achieved.

My client’s new approach to generating positive motivation has everyone not only feeling better but also performing better.  When the team needs to work extra hard to meet a very challenging deadline, they collaborate about how to get it done. Today in the meetings I observe, the tone is much more optimistic. A new and positive circular dynamic is occurring where the team feels they “have more space to breathe and are more productive, too,” as one member told me.

Reducing pressure for better results?  It’s not just a possibility. It works.

About the author:

Dr. David Facer is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

“There is a huge difference between seeing your job as holding people accountable for results versus helping them to be accountable. People want to be accountable. They want to make a contribution and do the right thing. If you, as a manager, find yourself having to hold people accountable, there is a breakdown in the process and in the way that goals, metrics, and the work environment have been defined.”

“People are always motivated,” explains Fowler. “Your job as a leader is to understand why a person is motivated the way they are and then help them understand their choices, opportunities, and options.”

Fowler encourages leaders to recognize different Motivational Outlooks—or reasons people are motivated. Motivational Outlooks fall into two broad categories with significantly different implications: Optimal and Suboptimal.

Suboptimal Motivational Outlooks are generated by external incentives such as money, rewards, status, and power, or negative repercussions if targets aren’t met.

Optimal Motivational Outlooks describe motivation based on work aligned with higher-level values or connected to a noble purpose, or inherent joy and pleasure. Fowler explains that when people act from Optimal Motivational Outlooks, they see the value of their work and how it helps them experience an increased sense of control, enhanced relationships, and new skills.

Organizations whose practices promote Suboptimal Motivational Outlooks not only suffer long-term performance, productivity, and innovation loss, but also find themselves dealing with the aftermath of thwarting people’s psychological needs: namely low morale, high turnover, absenteeism, inventory shrinkage, and other ways of people acting out to make up for what they are missing. It leads to an attitude of work as a transaction, “I will only do this if I get that.”

“There is a huge opportunity loss with this approach,” explains Fowler. “We are not getting the best from people under those conditions. Workplaces based on Suboptimal Motivational Outlooks—carrots or sticks—to increase results may achieve short-term behavior change but end up with compliance, not commitment.”

Take a Different Approach

Fowler encourages leaders to take a different approach. To begin, Fowler recommends promoting autonomy, relatedness, and competence. “A good place to start is to change the way you present goals and deadlines that too often undermine people’s sense of autonomy. Reframe goals and deadlines as vital information that will help people succeed instead of techniques for holding people accountable.

“Promote relatedness through values conversations; help people align their work with meaningful values and a sense of purpose. Tap into what is inherently rewarding to people. The best leaders create an alliance with their people that goes beyond compliance.

“Develop people’s sense of competence by asking, ‘What did you learn today that will help you be better tomorrow?’ instead of only focusing on ‘What did you get done today?’”

It’s about having Motivational Outlook Conversations with people to surface the type of motivation people already have and guide them to better choices—for their own well-being and the benefit of the organization as well.

To learn more about Fowler’s approach to motivation, download a free chapter of her book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does or check out her complete interview in Ignite, Employee Motivation: Focus on Process Instead of Results.  Also be sure to take a look at a complimentary webinar Fowler is conducting on October 22, Rethinking Five Beliefs That Undermine Workplace Motivation.  It’s free courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Did any of those family battles end up with your mom or dad saying “Do it because I said so!”—after which you skulked away under threat of grounding and did the minimum possible to complete the task so you could go back outside to play?

Why did you resist your parent’s request? Didn’t the battle take longer than the actual task?  Did you have better and more fun things to do? Did you just not like being told what to do?  Maybe you didn’t know exactly how to do it? Or maybe it was a little of all of those things?

Déjà vu

Fast forward to now. You find yourself engaged in the same battles with your own children and hear yourself saying the one thing you promised yourself that you would never say to your kids: “Do it because I said so!” Then you wonder why you did not keep your promise. Expecting some relief from that question, you go to work. At 9:00 a.m. your employee, Gilda, walks into your office and says she’s going to be late updating her accounts in the Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system. You aren’t surprised. She has yet to meet a CRM deadline.

In response, you reiterate the importance of keeping her account details current. She tells you she understands, but she has too many other things to do. You argue a bit—politely, of course—until, after a few rounds of back and forth, you throw up your hands and say, “Do it because I said so!” Gilda skulks out and inputs the data, but you can tell that she did not put much effort into it and the updates are not what you expect. Is this déjà vu? You wonder, was this a grownup version of the conversation you had with your kids earlier that morning—and the ones you experienced when you were a kid? Surely there is a better way.

Recent motivation research shows that a subtle shift in outlook on these less than desirable tasks can make all the difference in not only well-being, but also goal achievement. So how can you help Gilda feel less imposed upon but still complete the CRM task? As we teach leaders in our new program called Optimal Motivation, the first step is to check out the employee’s basic psychological needs—Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence—on the task. The more fully that the employee has these three needs met, the more likely she will be to complete the task, resent it less, and possibly even enjoy it while she does.

3 Steps to a Better Way

In your next meeting with Gilda, instead of getting upset, you decide to use three steps to helping her improve her motivational outlook.

1. Empathize with her reality. Start by acknowledging that with her sparkly and people-oriented personality, this CRM task probably feels dreary compared to being out with clients. She agrees. You reiterate the importance of getting the data into the system quickly, and you point out that by doing so she will make herself more positively visible in the organization, and that will help get her contributions to the company recognized.
2. Ask for permission to proceed. Next, ask if it would be okay to examine her point of view about the process so that you might help her find a way to make it feel more rewarding. As she begins to open up, you talk about her love of being with clients. She talks about her desire to make an important contribution to the company and to help her clients succeed. She begins to really understand how the CRM might support those goals.
3. Explore positive possibilities. Inquire about ways she might both update the CRM system regularly and accurately and also feel better about doing it. Explore whether she would like to shift her outlook from feeling imposed upon to being more aligned around the importance of her keeping her CRM details up to date. While it may not happen in the snap of your fingers, you are trying to help her decide to spend the necessary time—probably half an hour each morning—updating the system instead of waiting until the end of the month when it becomes overwhelming. By coaching her rather than driving her, you are both much more likely to feel positive and confident about her solution.

A True and Common Story

Gilda’s story is real. From that point on, her information was always up to date in the CRM. It is still not her favorite task, but she sees the value of it and that makes her outlook more positive. And as her boss, you feel better about saying, “Because I said so” less often.

Who knows? Maybe your success with Gilda—and your new awareness of the better way—will help you with your kids, too.

About the Author

Sarah Caverhill is Vice President–East Region of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Sarah holds a master of business administration degree and a bachelor’s degree in marketing. Sarah is also coauthor of the book, Your Leadership Legacy.

One of the design principles we’ve built into Blanchard Online Learning is providing accountability for learning. Our goal is to clearly set the expectation for involvement from the very beginning.

In a new white paper on Elearning: Building an Effective and Engaging Solution Online, my colleague Dobie Houson explains that in order to get people involved in the learning process you must communicate the importance of the learning experience to help learners understand how it will benefit them. She recommends you spend time thinking about how you can motivate people to want to attend, and then communicate that message well in advance of the learning experience. For example, in your communications you can:

• Share success stories from previous participants. Endorsements are a great way to build excitement and buzz and help build future enrollment. To build excitement, get others talking about the change they experienced. With Blanchard Online Learning, we can share stories from other customers for those companies just getting started.
• Make it personal by sending invitations to the learning experience from someone who matters to the learner. For example, it’s very effective when a boss invites a direct report to a training and makes direct links to professional development goals that have already been discussed.
• Assign pre-work during which you ask learners to think of real work problems and create solutions and goals around those problems. This helps learners to relate what they’re learning to their job.
• Stress the importance of completing the course. Participants need to know what’s expected of them and what’s in it for them. Explain why finishing the course may improve their job performance and enhance career opportunities. Some of our Blanchard Online Learning clients have made participation in the program a prerequisite to being considered for promotion.
• Offer rewards and incentives. Offer participants extra pay for completing the course or give public recognition via internal newsletters, emails, or a Web site. Certificates of completion or education credits serve as important motivators to encourage participants to complete the course.
• Make it competitive. Providing a chart of percentage completion to show participants how they compare with others is a strong motivator. Make data available to management as well so that teams or units can compare how they measure up against other teams or units in the organization.
• Track and measure participants’ progress. Regularly check how participants are progressing on the course and offer support if they’re lagging behind. During the course, use performance tracking data to post scoreboards on progress and link performance to the participants’ learning plans.
• Encourage communication. Our Blanchard Online System features a cohort threaded conversation that the sponsor can use to ask questions and promote engagement. Participants are told that they are expected to respond to each question.

Anyone with a job in an organization is constantly assessing workload and prioritizing to get the most important things done at any given moment. We can never forget that this is the mindset we’re dealing with and that we’re constantly competing for mindshare.

But discussing motivation in terms of how much someone has is not very useful, so I’ll ask if we can rephrase “more motivated” to something more specific.  In these cases, “more motivated” usually should mean that the manager wants an employee to voluntarily—and without manipulation or coercion from anyone else—align with what is expected of them.  From there the discussion would go to, “How can I help employees align?”

The answer to that question starts with who the employee is and what she or he wants for her or himself.  But for many managers, it’s easy to mistakenly think that alignment shouldn’t have to consider those things.  After all, isn’t an employee responsible for what an employee is responsible for?

But when employees are asked for their side of these motivation stories, they often report that alignment is hard for them because their personal goals and those the organization is asking them to be responsible for are out of alignment.  It is just like when a car is out of alignment.  They know it should go one way, but it pulls another.  When misalignment persists for a long time, managers start to think that the employee may not be a good fit for the organization, and the employee thinks the same thing.

But, what if the misalignment was not a bad thing?  What if the pull in a slightly different direction meant that the employee was hungry for new projects, a role, or a job in the company that lined up better with who they are and what they find personally interesting, fulfilling, and meaningful?  Many employees have told me that if they could design a job they really loved with their current employer, they would be much happier, “more motivated,” and more productive.  So, here are some initial steps you can take if you (or someone you care about) is struggling to fix an alignment problem:

– Examine:  What specific projects, tasks, goals, or situations do you (or they) really enjoy working on, especially when the work gets complicated and difficult?  Examine the aspects of the current work that you dislike and that you dread doing.

– Evaluate:  Take an inventory of your technical skills.  Where do you have proven expertise that others would readily recognize and value?  Which skills are you good at but don’t enjoy using?

– Decide:  Make a clear decision about whether you want to be a manager or an individual contributor.  Great managers want to be managers; they don’t resent the responsibilities that go with the territory.

– Explore:  What cross-functional projects or teams, roles, or jobs might allow you to do most of what you love and are masterful at most of the time?

– Investigate:  Begin to look for ways to truly create such a role, and be sure to share with others that you are looking into this so that you, they, and the company all benefit.

These steps are just the start of the process of creating alignment between work that brings you alive and the work the company needs done.  After all, the pull you feel can be a really good thing when you use it to serve everyone involved.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

–If I do it alone, I can make decisions quicker. I don’t have to sort through alternative ideas. I don’t have to persuade people to change their opinions. I don’t have to wait for others to do their part before I can do mine. Besides, chances are it will be a pretty good result—even if I do work on it by myself. But on the other hand … 

–If I do it with others, there could be a better output because more ideas are on the table. A debate over issues will identify potential blind spots. The more involved people are in a decision, the more likely they are to support the final decision, even if it didn’t go the way they would have preferred. 

To summarize, going it alone is probably quicker, but doesn’t consider as many alternatives. Doing it in a group probably results in a better outcome, but has the potential challenges of dealing with people.

The good news is that you don’t have to make it an either/or decision.  Here are three strategies that combine the best parts of both approaches:

1. Keep everyone focused by addressing bystander effect. When people are working in groups, they are less likely to feel the same sense of responsibility for results than if they were acting alone. They are less inclined to take action. For example, if a group of people sees an individual struggling to carry a heavy load, each of those people is less likely to jump in and help than if it were only one person making the same observation. “When all are responsible, no one is responsible.” Focus responsibility. Don’t say, “Everyone should be more present at our meetings.” Instead, say, “We need each one of you to increase your level of involvement on this agenda.”
2. Replace competition with collaboration. Competition is not as big a problem within groups as it is among groups.  The same individuals can act very different in the two settings. Specifically, research indicates that people are 50 percent more competitive when on a team. Rarely do you hear someone say “it’s him or me”; but you do hear “it’s us or them.” The root cause seems to be trust. People are suspicious of other groups, reasoning that the individual members may be okay but the group can’t be trusted.
3. Reduce inattentional blindness. Minimize outside distractions during discussions. You’ve probably seen the Simons and Chabris video of the gorilla that walks through a basketball scrimmage and isn’t noticed by most observers because they are watching the ball. People are already overloaded with stimuli. Put them in a meeting, and it turns into chaos. That chaos ends the focus on results. 

Teams need great performers, but great performers need teams. Those teams need leadership. When leaders hold teams and individuals accountable, foster collaboration instead of competition, and maintain team as well as individual focus, they bring out the best in both.

About the author

Dr. Dick Ruhe is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

I was recently working with a client in Toronto where one of the company’s salespeople was emphatic that a certain customer “belonged” to him, not to the organization.

The organization, on the other hand, tried to get the employee to see that while he did serve this particular customer, others in the organization did, too—not only other departments within the company (finance, project managers, shipping, etc) but also other salespeople in other geographic areas .

The bottom line is that a customer can “belong” to both the employee and the organization.  Let me give you a perfect example of this.  While staying at a hotel, I ordered room service for dinner. Upon entering my room and throughout the seven minutes he spent verifying my order and having me sign my bill, the hotel employee made small talk with me and made me feel welcome by asking if there was anything else he could do to make my stay more enjoyable.  For those seven minutes, I was his customer—the customer he was serving and focusing on at that moment—and I was also still the customer of the hotel overall.  He wasn’t responsible for taking care of everything I needed during my stay, but for those brief minutes, he understood that his full attention should be on me.

This is a very important concept to teach your employees—how to take ownership in serving “their” customers while recognizing that others in the organization will be serving them as well. Here are 3 ways to do it:

1.  Discuss with employees what their specific role is with their customers. Get them to identify ways they can build a unique relationship with the customer based on their role.
2.  Help your employees understand how the same customer can also “belong” to others in the company who serve the customer—the finance department that deals with billing questions; the project managers who may answer questions or provide information; the shipping department that may send materials to them; etc.  Your employees need to see the big picture—customers are probably dealing with multiple touch points in your organization, not just them.
3.  Encourage your employees to partner and communicate with others in the organization who interact with the customer to make sure there is consistency in service and nothing falls through the cracks. 

Ideally, we want our employees to take ownership of their relationships with their customers but at the same time recognize that they share this customer with others in the organization. The better we can make the overall customer experience, the more likely we are to build customer loyalty.

About the author:

Kathy Cuff is a senior consulting partner and one of the principal authors—together  with Vicki Halsey—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.

This is a great question often posed in our Optimal Motivation workshops. I understand that you are between a rock and hard place—on one hand, you are responsible for getting results; on the other hand, the traditional tactics you use destroy the high energy, dedication, creativity, innovation, and initiative people need to achieve those results. The irony of pressing for results and pushing deadlines is that you promote the exact opposite of what you hoped to encourage. You need a new approach in 2014.

Reframe Goals into Something Meaningful

When I was an itinerant speaker for the world’s largest public seminar company, I conducted over 125 day-long workshops a year—each one in a different city, state, or country. I appreciated the work, but I was literally bone weary. The company imposed hard metrics that meant termination of your contract if not met: Collect 75% or more of participant evaluations (typically 200) and score a 4.5 or better on a 5-point scale.

Those goals exhausted me even more! If I had focused on meeting them, I would have burned out and quit—many of my colleagues did. Instead, I reframed the company’s goals into outcomes meaningful to me. I will remember at least 20 people’s names and something about them by the end of each day. If at least one person tells me I made a difference in their life, then it was a good day. (After all, that was why I was doing what I was doing.)

Reframing goals into results that were meaningful to me was energizing. I focused on the values of what I was doing and the by-product was consistently achieving the organization’s measures of success. Consider taking the time to help your employees reframe the organization’s goals.

When employees reframe organizational goals into results that are meaningful for them, everybody wins.

Turn Deadlines into Data

Deadlines exist. I am working on one right now as I write this blog. The trick is to view deadlines (or live-lines, as a colleague of mine chooses to call them) as critical information. Leaders can help people shift the way deadlines are interpreted. Instead of considering deadlines as points of pressure, position deadlines as communication tools that describe what is needed for people to do their jobs effectively. Instead of imposing deadlines that undermine people’s autonomy, position timelines as data points that provide valuable insight about how to allocate time, make thoughtful choices, and decide what to do next—or not at all.

Deadlines are a reality, but leaders can position deadlines as data to help employees live a more autonomous, optimally motivating, and high-quality life at work.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

Whenever I conduct trust workshops with clients and discuss the role that rewards and recognition play in building trust, I will ask participants to raise their hands if they feel like they receive too much praise or recognition on the job. No one has ever raised a hand.

So on this day of giving thanks, take a few minutes to review this list and commit to using one of these methods to tell your employees “thank you.” I’ve used many of these strategies myself and can attest to their effectiveness.

1. Let them leave work early – This may not be feasible in all work environments, but if you’re able to do it, a surprise treat of allowing people to leave early does wonders for team morale and well-being. I use this technique occasionally with my team, usually when they’ve had the pedal to the metal for a long period of time, or if we have a holiday weekend coming up. Allowing folks to get a head start on the weekend or a few hours of unexpected free time shows you recognize and appreciate their hard work and that you understand there’s more to life than just work.

2. Leave a “thank you” voice mail message – Don’t tell my I.T. department, but I’ve got voice mails saved from over ten years ago that were sent to me by colleagues who took the time to leave me a special message of praise. The spoken word can have a tremendous impact on individuals, and receiving a heartfelt message from you could positively impact your employees in ways you can’t imagine.

3. Host a potluck lunch – You don’t have to take the team to a fancy restaurant or have a gourmet meal catered in the office (which is great if you can afford it!), you just need to put a little bit of your managerial skills to practice and organize a potluck lunch. Sharing a meal together allows people to bond and relax in a casual setting and it provides an excellent opportunity for you to say a few words of thanks to the team and let them know you appreciate them.

4. Give a small token of appreciation – Giving an employee a small memento provides a lasting symbol of your appreciation, and although it may cost you a few bucks, it’s well worth the investment. I’m talking about simple things like giving nice roller-ball ink pens with a note that says “You’ve got the write stuff,” or Life Savers candies with a little note saying “You’re a hole lot of fun,” or other cheesy, somewhat corny things like that (believe me, people love it!). I’ve done this with my team and I’ve had people tell me years later how much that meant to them at the time.

5. Have your boss recognize an employee – Get your boss to send an email, make a phone call, or best-case scenario, drop by in-person to tell one of your employees “thank you” for his/her work. Getting an attaboy from your boss’ boss is always a big treat. It shows your employee that you recognize his/her efforts and you’re making sure your boss knows about it too.

6. Hold an impromptu 10 minute stand up meeting – This could be no or low-cost depending on what you do, but I’ve called random 10 minute meetings in the afternoon and handed out popsicles or some other treat and taken the opportunity to tell team members “thank you” for their hard work. The surprise meeting, combined with a special treat, throws people out of their same ol’, same ol’ routine and keeps the boss/employee relationship fresh and energetic.

7. Reach out and touch someone – Yes, I’m plagiarizing the old Bell Telephone advertising jingle, but the concept is right on. Human touch holds incredible powers to communicate thankfulness and appreciation. In a team meeting one time, my manager took the time to physically walk around the table, pause behind each team member, place her hands on his/her shoulders, and say a few words about why she was thankful for that person. Nothing creepy or inappropriate, just pure love and respect. Unfortunately, most leaders shy away from appropriate physical contact in the workplace, fearful of harassment complaints or lawsuits. Whether it’s a handshake, high-five, or fist bump, find appropriate ways to communicate your thanks via personal touch.

8. Say “thank you” – This seems like a no-brainer given the topic, but you would be amazed at how many people tell me their boss doesn’t take the time to express thanks. Saying thank you is not only the polite and respectful thing to do, it signals to your people that they matter, they’re important, valuable, and most of all, you care.

9. Send a thank you note to an employee’s family – A friend of mine told me that he occasionally sends a thank you note to the spouse/significant other/family of an employee. He’ll say something to the effect of “Thank you for sharing your husband/wife/dad/mother with us and supporting the work he/she does. He/she a valuable contributor to our team and we appreciate him/her.” Wow…what a powerful way to communicate thankfulness!

10. Give a handwritten note of thanks – Some things never go out of style and handwritten thank you notes are one of them. Emails are fine, voice mails better (even made this list!), but taking the time to send a thoughtful, handwritten note says “thank you” like no other way. Sending handwritten letters or notes is a lost art in today’s electronic culture. When I want to communicate with a personal touch, I go old school with a handwritten note. It takes time, effort, and thought which is what makes it special. Your employees will hold on to those notes for a lifetime.

What other ways to say “thank you” would you add to this list? Please a share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the fourth Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Accountable.  Cue the boos and hisses.

Why Hold People Accountable?

When your focus is on how to hold people accountable, it takes your focus off an important question: “Why do we need to hold people accountable in the first place?”

If you believe people need to be held accountable, what is your underlying belief? Is it that people cannot be trusted to do what you want them to do? Is it that people fail to follow through on what they commit to doing? Why is that? Is it because they are lazy and irresponsible—or worse, intend to do harm? How did you come to believe people cannot be trusted?

Too often, leaders hold beliefs based on faulty assumptions, prejudice, or bad data. Have you had an experience that caused you to believe that, given the chance, most people cheat, lie, and steal? Do you have proof to substantiate your belief that people will miss deadlines, fail to achieve their goals, and slack off if you don’t keep your eye on them?

Strange—because the evidence is overwhelming that people want to contribute, are willing to work hard, and feel better when they achieve agreed-upon goals. W. Edwards  Deming, the father of the quality movement in the U.S. and Japan, believed that 80 percent of nonperformance was most likely due to system failures. Today we know that distributive injustice (unfair allocation of resources) and procedural injustice (unfair or secretive decision-making and processes) are two primary reasons organizations lack employee work passion. Perhaps leaders need to look in the mirror when their people are not performing. Too often, holding people accountable is a kneejerk reaction based on a leader’s own fear of failure. It is time to challenge why accountability permeates our language and mindshare in the workplace.

Never Beat a Carrot with a Stick

If you are now thinking, “I have proof that people will fail to perform if they are not held accountable,” it may still be the fault of leadership. Take this familiar scenario. You incentivize your sales people to sell. You give them a bonus for selling a lot. A particular sales person isn’t making his numbers. No surprise here—we know that incentives and bonuses are not healthy or reliable ways for people to experience optimal motivation. Carrots simply don’t work. (If you disagree with this statement, let me know and we will provide you with ample evidence in future blogs.)

Back to the scenario. You need to hold this failing salesman accountable. You consider writing him up, having “the talk,” applying pressure, chastising him, or harassing him with the success stories of his team members. The insidious thing about accountability is that it promotes the use of pressure to get people to do what they probably already want to do—succeed.

“The only traditional motivation technique more undermining than a carrot to activating optimal motivation is the stick.”

The problem is that leaders don’t understand the undermining and short-term effect of carrots (incentives, bonuses, tangible rewards), so when those bribes don’t work, leaders assume it is the individual’s fault and put accountability measures—the stick—in place.

Try this for the next month: Think deeply about the beliefs underlying the notion of holding people accountable. What is the real purpose of accountability and what data supports the need for it? How would your decisions, actions, and leadership be different if instead of believing that you have to hold people accountable, you held this belief instead …

People live up (or down) to our expectations of them.

Watch how your people respond to your changed belief. Imagine what would be different if people lived up to your high expectations instead of hovering under your low ones.

Cue the high energy and optimism that lead to the results you used to hold people accountable for achieving.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop. Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

Editor’s note:  This post is the third in a five part series on beliefs that erode workplace motivation. You can read Susan’s first two posts in the series by clicking on Rethinking Five Beliefs that Erode Workplace Motivation and Five Beliefs that Erode Workplace Motivation, Part Two.