Dear Madeleine,

I am a fairly new manager for a well established and growing not-for-profit organization that brings arts education to underserved communities. When we have open positions, we prioritize hiring alumni of our programs.

About nine months ago, I hired a promising alumnus who seemed perfect for an entry level program administration job. She had graduated college with excellent grades, had glowing recommendations, and is a delightful person.

I expected her to take to the job quickly and blow us all away. That hasn’t happened. She just doesn’t seem to be able to retain any information about how to do certain tasks. I keep having to walk her through the directions for tasks every time, even though I have done it repeatedly.

The purpose of hiring someone for this position was to free me up to do other critical tasks—but I am spending so much time teaching and re-teaching this person that I now seem to have double the work.

I am frustrated and confused. I can’t tell whether she can’t do the tasks or won’t. I don’t want to make her feel like I’m not happy with her performance (even though I’m not) but I have no idea how to get her to up her game without making her feel criticized.

Any advice would be welcome.

Beginner Stalled at Go

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Dear Beginner Stalled at Go,

This sounds frustrating. I am sure your new hire is equally frustrated and confused, because everyone wants to be successful. This sounds like a perfect occasion for you to apply SLII®, our company’s time-tested, research-based development model.

Essentially, SLII® helps managers and direct reports break down all goals and tasks, diagnose the competence and confidence of the employee in relation to each task, and then identify exactly what kind of leadership style is needed. You can watch a little video that describes it here and download a cool e-book about it here.

In the language of SLII®, your alumnus—Let’s call her A for the sake of clarity—is stuck at Development Level One, “Enthusiastic Beginner.” She seems to believe she needs to come back to you for clear direction for every task, every time. What could be going on? Is it that she can’t build competence or is it her confidence that is lacking? Here are some ideas:

• It’s possible A has a learning disability she hasn’t shared with you and is somehow not able to retain your instructions. You can’t really ask without insulting someone (“what’s wrong with you?” never lands well) but some questions (see below) may help to surface an issue like this. If a learning disability is, in fact, present, you might consider having A take notes when you give instructions and send them to you for editing so she has written instructions for next time.
• Maybe A doesn’t believe she is ready to do things on her own. She thinks she knows what to do and how to do it, but still needs permission from you to try it and some reassurance that it will be okay if she makes an error or two. Sometimes young people new to the workplace just need permission to go for it.
• Perhaps A isn’t crystal clear that you expect her to do things on her own yet. I know it sounds crazy, but I worked for a lovely man long ago who kept saying “we need to get this done and that done,” and he would go down the list of everything we needed to do. I kept waiting for him to come to me and get my help with all of things on the list. After a couple of weeks, I asked him how he thought things were going and he said, “I am confused, I keep asking you to do all of these things, and you seem eager, but then you don’t do any of them.” I was shocked. I told him I was waiting for him (he was, after all, the boss) to initiate the tasks “we” needed to do, but it turned out that every time he had said “we.” what he really meant was “you.” I guess he didn’t want to sound bossy—but he was so indirect, I didn’t understand what he wanted. I was young and was used to being bossed around by teachers, bosses, parents. Today I would just say, “do you actually mean ‘we,’ or are you telling me to do it?” But that is the beauty of being older.

We can speculate all day long, but ultimately you are going to have to ask A what is going on. Let go of your judgment and pre-conceptions and gently ask the questions. They might go something like this:

• I have explained how this task needs to get done several times now, which is okay. However, I had anticipated that you would be able to do it on your own at this point. Can you help me to understand what is getting in the way of that?
• Is it possible that the way I have explained this is not clear enough?
• Would it be helpful for me to create written instructions for some of these tasks?
• Is there something I am doing or saying that leads you to believe that I don’t trust you to do this task on your own?
• What would give you the confidence you need to do this task on your own?
• What do you need from me that you are not getting?
• Are you worried you will make a mistake? I expect that you will make mistakes—that’s okay. I will show you the little spots where errors are likely to occur and what to watch out for.

The key is for you to kindly share your expectations for how she should be progressing and ask her how you can craft a plan to help her get there. Pretending everything is fine is not going to get either of you anywhere.

So bite the bullet and raise the issue. The sooner you do, the sooner you will know what’s what.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I was promoted to VP of sales a few months before the pandemic hit. I feel like I have been in an industrial washing machine ever since, and am just starting to come up for air. There was a lot of training at the beginning but then our entire book of business and go-to-market strategies shifted. It has been mayhem, but things are starting to settle now.

I have an amazing team. I physically moved in order to take over a new region, so all of my people are relatively new colleagues, which is nice. About two years ago, our company changed CRM (Customer Relationship Management) systems. [Note: This is the system that sales leaders and marketing use to gain visibility into prospects, contact info, opportunities/pipeline, forecasting, account plans, competitive intelligence, etc.]

The new system is fine; not any worse or better than the old one. My people have figured out how to make it work for them and comply with requirements. But there are exceptions.

One sales rep, who creates amazing relationships with his customers and crushes his quota, cannot for the life of him get his info into the system. It’s great when he suddenly brings in huge projects, but then there is a scramble to deliver on the contract. Then there’s another rep who puts everything into the system beautifully but can’t seem to get anything done other than that—and she certainly can’t close.

My boss is giving me a hard time about both of them, but very little guidance on how to get them to where they need to be. Thoughts?

CRM Conundrum

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Dear CRM Conundrum,

I consulted our sales leaders here at Blanchard because I thought these may be common issues that they might have some good experience with. Judd Hoekstra and Sarah Caverhill both weighed in, so I credit them for a lot of this response.

I see 3 different issues in your letter.

1. One rep who crushes the numbers but won’t comply with keeping his data current in the CRM, which causes problems for you as a boss and for others downstream.
2. One rep who is very good at CRM management but doesn’t seem to know how to actually sell.
3. A boss who isn’t very helpful.

Today let’s deal with your sales genius who can’t/won’t comply, I will do a Part 2 later to address the other two issues.

There is an old New Yorker Cartoon of a guy in his underwear, smoking a cigarette and holding a martini at the water cooler, who says to another guy, “When you’re nailing the numbers, they don’t ask questions.” I bought a print and gave to our (then) VP of sales, but he didn’t think it was as funny as I did. I guess I have a really sick sense of humor. And until the advent of the now universally used CRM, I think it was kind of true that when sales reps would hit their goals, nobody much cared about how they did it or anything else. Your sales wiz is probably a bit of a holdover from those days. There is a progression to think through on this:

Get Clear About Development Level: What is your sales rep’s development level on using the CRM? In the language of our SLII® Model, development level is a combination of competence and commitment. There is a good chance that your rep hasn’t taken the time to get good at using the CRM because he doesn’t think he has to. The personality profile of people who are terrific at initiating and building terrific relationships that inspire buyers to commit usually does not include attention to detail and compliance with what they might consider to be annoying rules. And in today’s hypercompetitive job landscape, we are asking employees to be good at many skills. Being good at just one aspect of a job is no longer enough. So let’s be clear that you are asking a chicken to climb a tree or a squirrel to lay an egg—it won’t be natural or easy.

Gain Commitment: You are going to have to work with this rep on his willingness to commit to learning, getting good at, and using the CRM. First gain commitment, then get him the instruction and support that he will need to get skilled. How to do this? Explain how important the data is, why the organization requires it, and why you need it. Then set up small, reasonable milestones to get him where he needs to be. Sarah Caverhill shared an experience she had with a rep who refused to use our new CRM:

“I told her I understood she didn’t want to do it and asked her what was getting in her way. We identified a few things like ‘I get too busy in my day to do it’ and ‘I hate it—it’s drudgery.’ I explained that we need the data to run and grow our business. (Garbage in, garbage out—you want us to provide more resources? Then you need to do your part to help us see what’s coming down the pike. You want better project manager performance? Then you need to prepare your PMs with better info. And so forth.) I asked her if she understood the importance and she said she did. I then asked her what she could do to remove the things that were getting in her way and adjust her motivational outlook. We came up with several ideas. Eventually, she settled on one idea, which was to allocate 15 minutes each morning to updating the CRM before she started work. From that time on—and we’re talking years—I never had an issue with her opps being out of date. Sometimes the information was sort of a guess, but it was reliably input and often more accurate than I had expected.”

Be Fierce with Accountability and Enforce Consequences: If your sales rep simply refuses, you have a whole other problem. It sounds like he has gotten away with noncompliance thus far and is pretty sure that if he just ignores the situation, it will go away. If that is the case, you will have to discuss it with your boss and make a decision. There is probably a historical precedent in your organization that high performers can do whatever they want (in sales, especially, this is epidemic). So you need to choose to either perpetuate that culture or shift it—now. If you choose to perpetuate it, you will agree to let your rep not comply. Be aware that this will create issues of fairness if it hasn’t already: why do some people get away with bad behavior while others do not? All humans are hypersensitive to issues of fairness and will resent you for any preferential treatment you offer to anyone. On the flip side, you will have to come up with consequences for noncompliance, for which you are willing to hold both yourself and him accountable. This sets you up to be the compliance police, jury, judge, and parole officer, which will be a massive bummer—but that’s why managers make the big bucks. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

Any system of requirements/consequences for noncompliance will work as long as you commit to it and take action according to plan. The final result could very well be that your rep will lose his job. This is why you need your boss to have your back. And, of course, it would hurt you to lose his numbers, so you will need to figure out how to cover your loss.

Judd Hoekstra says: “This is probably one of the more draining aspects of the sales leader role, because it’s ongoing unless there is alignment on tough consequences (like losing your job) for noncompliance.”

I will cover the other two issues next week, because this answer is already too long. I will float one more idea, though: Would it make sense to pair your sales rock star with your data tracking rock star? Pair a chicken with a squirrel? Have one show the other how it’s done? Is anyone else thinking that could be a good idea? Of course, then you would have a potentially fraught compensation formula to calculate.

Isn’t sales leadership fun? I admire all of you, honestly—I couldn’t take the heat.

More next week.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve been managing a couple of teams located around the globe. Recently, our business has exploded, and I find that I am losing control of things. My question is: how do I help my people clarify when they need to include me in big decisions and when they don’t? I’ve never had this issue in the past—but we are doing so much and things are moving so fast. I need to find another way, because mistakes are being made and I am held responsible. I really don’t want to make anyone feel bad or demotivated. I actually appreciate that people are taking things into their own hands—until of course, they mess up.

I’ve never had any management training, but I assume people who do learn how to deal with this kind of thing. Any ideas?

Big Mistakes

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear Big Mistakes,

I wouldn’t worry about training; you seem to be doing awfully well on your own. At least you have the right mindset—which, frankly, no amount of training can shift for some people. And at least the problem you are grappling with is a good problem to have. Nothing succeeds like success!

I know of three concepts/models that might be helpful to you here. One is our time-tested, research-based flagship model, SLII®. Essentially, it helps managers and direct reports break down all goals and tasks, diagnose the competence and confidence of the employee in relation to each task, and then identify exactly what kind of leadership style is needed. You can access a cool e-book about it here.

Things have changed in the last few months. If people are making bad decisions, it’s because they are doing new tasks that they aren’t competent enough to fly solo with. That’s all. They are perfectly able to develop their competence, but first they need clear direction from you as well as some practice that you can supervise at critical stages. Ultimately, you will be able to trust them to have good judgment. So first read up on the model, then get super clear about where people are making mistakes and what is new about those instances. When you have conversations, you can own that you hadn’t given clear direction before and you wouldn’t expect a person to know something you had never told them. That way, you aren’t criticizing—you are simply correcting your own oversight while creating an environment in which the commitment is to transfer the capability for the future. It is good for them, and it frees you up.

Another concept, which I wrote about recently in this column, is Waterline. I learned this concept from W.L. Gore & Associates, where it is a company value. Your people need to know in no uncertain terms where their decision-making authority ends and when they need to consult you or others. If they understand the big picture well enough, they can assess the risk of each decision and know when the consequences of a mistake will be unacceptable.

The last model you may find useful is the RACI Chart. The RACI Chart, sometimes called a matrix, is used in project management for complex operations such as software design—but it is also good to use when working to create something new as a group. If you are growing in leaps and bounds, this is a great way to create clear agreements about exactly who is doing what and who they need to involve, consult, or work with. Once again, it’s up to you to gain clarity on all tasks and who is responsible for executing on the actions to achieve them. You also know who they need to consult with and gain input from on the plan, and who ultimately is accountable for making sure things are done correctly and according to timeline. You probably did this intuitively before, but didn’t have a chance to revisit everything as things began to change.

Since it seems like you generally trust your people and care about making them feel appreciated, no one will mind your pushing for increased clarity. Nobody wants to make mistakes—it is embarrassing! You can be crystal clear about decisions that need to be run by you as you develop your people and eventually empower them to make decisions on their own. In the end, you will have much stronger people and be able to grow that much faster.

Let me know which model is most useful to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a department in a large manufacturing organization. Some parts of our business are going gangbusters, but my area is suffering from a slowdown due to the restrictions and economic impact of Covid-19.

We were able to redeploy some of my people to the busier parts of the business, but still ended up furloughing about 25% of them. The net loss is about 45% when you add up the people who were furloughed or redeployed.

Even though our workload is still reduced, and things should be balanced, my remaining people are telling me how overly busy they are. I am still trying to figure out why that is so. I am madly trying to balance workloads and hoping you have some thoughts.

Failing at Furlough

Dear Failing at Furlough,

This seems to be situation normal these days—but that doesn’t make it easier, does it? I can certainly relate. We are in the same boat and I’m getting a crash course in posting on our Instagram account—which is, frankly, hilarious. It turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks, but it’s a little painful.

It’s hard to think straight with all the high emotion, so that’s probably affecting you and your people. I would advise, first, to be kind with yourself and everyone else. Take the time to listen to everyone—the folks who moved, the ones who’ve been furloughed, and the ones in your department who are left with the work. Just listen. Breathe and listen. Reflect back what you hear, empathize, or cry with your people if that’s what makes sense.

You might feel like a therapist, but listening skills and empathizing are simply refined human skills. Using them does not make you a mental health professional. It just makes you a better human. People are sad, people are mad, and everyone is exhausted. Max Dupree, in Leadership is An Art, said “Leaders don’t inflict pain, they bear pain.” Maybe if people are allowed to express themselves honestly they will be able to think (a little more) clearly.

Once you have listened and everyone is on a more even keel, your next job (also according to Dupree) is to “define reality.” Sit down with your team, probably on Zoom, and take stock. Identify every task that each individual employee owned before, as well as all of the outstanding orphan tasks.

Make a whole list or whiteboard a mind map. Get it all down. Then, as a group, prioritize: what is absolutely, positively mission critical?

Now begin the big discussion, which goes like this:

• What must we absolutely do now—or maybe even do more of?
• What can we do less of?
• What can we stop doing, at least for now?
• What can we stop doing that we should have stopped doing it before this crisis anyway, but were in the habit of doing—because it isn’t working any more, producing a result, or adding value?
• How can we change up the systems, processes, and workflows to simplify or streamline for the non-negotiables?

Duke it out. Argue. Hold on to your top priorities. But now is not the time to focus on B-list activities. Be prepared to go to your boss with a new list of what’s possible with your new team. Don’t be bullied into trying to deliver on goals you were once going after with your full team. That is simply unreasonable. It is fine to ask people to be heroic for a week, maybe two. But we are now 100 days in—with no end in sight—so come on.

You are the boss and your people are looking to you for direction. First, listen. A lot. Then, act. If you need to take the heat from above, so be it. That is why, Failing at Furlough, I say that being a manager is hard, and being a manager who cares is even harder. And you so clearly do care.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

We’ve just celebrated the fifth anniversary of this blog. My goal has been to host an advice column for you, the well-intentioned manager. Over the past five years we’ve looked at over 200 different questions from people working to lead at a higher level.

As a coach for the past 30 years I have seen many methods used to help clients identify what they need to work on to be more effective leaders. I have found that almost all focus areas fit into one of three main categories – deciding who we are as a leader, being a good strategic leader, and being a good operational leader. Most issues leaders face like time management, managing up, dealing with “problem” employees, and decision making can be placed into these three critical areas.

As we move into our sixth year together, I thought it would be a good idea to share the framework that I use to contextualize the questions I get and the advice I give on a regular basis.

Self Concept as a Leader

Each leader has to define for herself who she will be as a leader, and what leadership means to her. Almost every client I have ever worked with talks about character and integrity and the question is always begged: how are character and integrity defined? Each leader is personally stronger when that person understands self and what leadership means within the framework of self. In future columns we will be exploring “Who are you as a leader?” and “Who do you want to be in this situation?”

Strategic Leadership Skills

This includes vision, culture and strategic imperatives. We’ll discuss how leaders can articulate the vision for the organization and paint a clear picture of the future that everyone in the company can visualize and work toward. We’ll also discuss how the strategic leader defines and builds the culture of an organization, and how leaders create a specific yet compatible culture within the larger one. Finally, we’ll look at how a leader ensures that all resources are being deployed to help achieve the strategic imperatives of the organization.

Operational Leadership Skills

Operational Leadership covers management practices that drive policy, procedures, and systems. Leaders at the operational level are responsible for knowing the strategies that are driving operations. We’ll look at how managers set policies, put procedures in place to communicate, make decisions, manage conflict, escalate emergencies, and solve problems. In this section we’ll also look at how leaders help the group state norms and roles and then hold people accountable to the agreements made.

3 Big Buckets—A World of Questions

Almost every work issue that a client brings to a coaching session can be anchored in one of these three areas, and shedding light and achieving clarity can always help. Where do you get stuck? Write to me and perhaps I can help. I look forward to hearing from you!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am an attorney in a government office. I was just promoted and have inherited four new direct reports. Although I have trained interns in the past, I am feeling overwhelmed with the fact that I still have my full time job and am now managing people. My first week was essentially all meetings, and I had to go home and work another full day to stay on top of my own work. How on earth do people do this?

It feels like, instead of a promotion, I now have …

Two Jobs

Dear Two Jobs,

You feel like you have two jobs because you do. The days of middle managers who get to just manage and not have a full workload of their own deliverables are long gone. I have never met anyone in your position who didn’t feel overwhelmed pretty much all the time.

My first recommendation is to get used to choosing what is less important so that you can focus on the most critical tasks. It will take a while to get used to this, especially if you are the kind of person who needs to check off everything on their list.

There are a ton of books written specifically for folks in your position—and, as a matter of fact, we have a training program designed exactly for you. So you can add a book or three to your towering pile, or beg your leadership to send you to a class. I recommend both. In the meantime, I will give you my first-time manager survival kit.

• Get clear about your key deliverables: Make sure your leader has been clear about what a good job looks like. Ask them to list their top five priorities in order of importance. Don’t try to guess. Research shows that when managers and direct reports are asked separately to make a list of their top five priorities, there is only about 25% agreement. Also, some things just aren’t going to get done. So make sure you are focused on the most critical things.

• Arrange for the same clarity in your entire department: Do the “top five” exercise with each of your direct reports. Ask yourself whether each of them knows exactly what is expected of them—what you think is most important. Of course, to do that, you have to decide what is most important. You are going to say “It’s all important,” and I am going to say “Yes—and some things are more important than others.”

• Arrange for resources: Once your reports have clarity about each of their goals and tasks, make sure they have what they need to deliver on those tasks.

• Be religious about having one-on-ones with each of your people. You can do this weekly or bi-weekly, but you must do it. Make sure each of your direct reports knows this is their time to discuss their agenda. Encourage them to send you an agenda in advance so they are forced to organize their thoughts prior to the meeting. This will set them up to get the most out of their time alone with you.

• Be ruthless about eliminating, delegating, and shortening meetings. Examine the meetings you are in. There are two kinds of meetings: the ones you don’t call (which you have very little control over) and the ones you do call. Decide if it is humanly possible to send someone else to the meetings you do not call. Sometimes it can be a way to develop another person on your team: task them with taking excellent notes and reporting back anything you need to know.

Meetings you call, you rule. Make sure there is a crystal clear agenda and focus relentlessly on the outcomes you seek. Keep a list of tangential issues that crop up and don’t let your group get off track. Shorten all meetings: most hour-long meetings can really be done in 40 minutes.

• Do not accept tasks someone else can do. You have enough on your plate! If someone else has the competence and skills to do something, give it away.

You are going to feel overwhelmed for awhile, Two Jobs, and that’s okay. You’ll settle in and be fine—just remember that you are in charge now, and that means making hard decisions about where your focus goes and how you invest every precious minute of your time.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

As if the job of managing people in the workplace isn’t difficult enough, add in the recurring need to coach them through challenges and issues.

The skill of coaching others is not one that comes naturally to most of us; in fact, during my experience coaching within organizations, I’ve found leaders who are downright plagued by the idea of coaching! Here are a few typical comments I’ve heard:

• “I’m uncomfortable coaching others. I don’t know what to say.”
• “What kind of questions should I ask?”
• “How should I get a coaching conversation started?”
• “I always want to solve the problem right away.”

Although the idea of adding coaching to your leadership skill set may seem daunting, it’s a competence most leaders can learn and master. The art of coaching involves the use of the following tools:

• Active listening: listening with the intent of learning more
• Asking open-ended questions to help uncover the issue
• Starting questions with words or phrases such as how, when, if, what, tell me more, or what else
• Being mindful that coaching is about leading the coachee to their own conclusions, not giving them answers
• Getting curious
• Honoring personal intuition

The last tool, personal intuition, is a powerful coaching skill but you must nurture it to keep it at peak efficiency. It is similar to flexing and strengthening a muscle—when it is underused, it is hard to access maximum performance.

Years ago, as my coaching abilities began to grow, I became aware of my intuitive skills. I started to experiment with sharing intuitive thoughts with clients during coaching sessions. During my coaching training, this was known as throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it would stick. When I would experience an intuitive thought or nudge about what might be going on with a client, I would say something like “I have a thought about this. Would it be okay if I share it with you?” Most of my intuitive pings had to do with people stepping into a new leadership role, feeling fearful, lacking confidence, or being in denial. After I would express my thought, clients would often say “How did you know that about me?”

The concept of tapping into your intuition may seem simple, but for me, it was powerful. It gave me joy to know that my gut reactions could change the coaching conversation by uncovering vulnerabilities or blind spots. I believe utilizing personal intuition can be a valuable asset for coaching in the workplace setting.

Imagine that as you listen to your coachee, you sense that something is unsaid. It’s as if you can hear a note that is out of tune. You might say “Something doesn’t sound quite right here. Help me out if I’m getting this wrong, but it feels like you may be holding back something important. What’s your sense of this?” (You are trying to see if the spaghetti sticks!)

The person you are helping may be holding something back intentionally or they may not realize they are holding back. That’s why it’s important to check in, get curious, and ask the question.

• I have a sense…
• May I tell you about a gut feeling I have?
• I have a hunch that…
• See how this lands with you.
• My intuition tells me…
• Can I check something out with you?
• I am curious about…

Curiosity is essential for effective coaching. In her book Dare To Lead, Brené Brown introduces the concept of the knower in all of us and contrasts it with the concept of curiosity:

“The knower in us (our ego) races to beat everyone with an answer that may or may not address the real issues, or thinks: I don’t want to talk about this because I’m not sure how it’s going to go or how people are going to react. I might not say the right thing or have the right answers.

“Curiosity says, No worries. I love a wild ride. I’m up for wherever this goes. And I’m in for however long it takes to get to the heart of the problem. I don’t have to know the answers or say the right thing, I just have to keep listening and keep questioning.”

When coaching others, the skills of listening, questioning, and paying attention to intuitive thoughts are key to a successful outcome. Achieving mastery of these skills is worth the practice it takes.

Leaders who are great coaches are catalysts for positive change in others. They are courageous because they know how important it is to say what others cannot.

About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I have a long-time employee named Tom who has more than 25 years’ experience in our field—but he totally lacks confidence. He is very timid in response to questions from other less experienced professionals on staff. He doesn’t take the lead even when it’s in his area of expertise. For example, recently one of Tom’s direct reports told him he couldn’t do something that was well within his scope and ability to decide. He listened and didn’t do what he wanted to do, then told me about the situation.

He doesn’t take initiative to get things done. He is always contacting me for little things such as telephone numbers that he can easily obtain from other people or records. In meetings with our staff, he contributes very little and doesn’t seem comfortable with the give and take.

What do I do? I don’t like to micromanage, but he is taking up a lot of my time and energy.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Don’t you feel bad for someone who has so little confidence? I sure do. You have to wonder what on earth happened to your timid, skittish employee to make him so uncertain—not that speculation will get us anywhere.

I highly recommend that you consider using the model our company has been teaching for over 35 years. It is called SLII®. The goal of SLII® is to match your leadership style to an individual’s development level on a task. Learning how to do this requires the ability to diagnose a person’s development level and deliver the right leadership style (one of four) for each situation.

When you match your leadership style to the individual’s development level, their competence, motivation, and confidence grow. On the other hand, over-supervising or under-supervising can have a negative impact on performance, confidence and motivation.

While SLII® may be considered common sense, it is not common practice. Only 1% of managers use all four leadership styles. SLII® teaches leaders how to manage the development of individuals, which allows the leader to stay in close touch with each person’s performance.

What does this mean to you? It means you have to break down all of Timid Tom’s tasks and goals and assess the extent to which he needs more direction to eventually fly solo, or whether he simply needs a boost in confidence. You can share with him that your goal is to help him feel exceptionally competent and confident so that he can trust his own judgment. To get more detail on the topic, you can download this white paper. Once you have a clear sense of Tom’s tasks and goals, you can discuss with him what he needs and agree on how to move forward.

So once again, this is a hard conversation—but in this case, it is a planning one. Then it will be regular 1×1 check-ins where you review all Tom’s tasks and goals and make sure you are providing the right leadership style for each one. You can share the SLII® model and white papers with him and remind him that your intention is to have his back and help him be successful in his job. He may never be a superhero, but with enough focused attention on the right things, he should become more independent.

If you provide Tom with the right leadership style at the right time for a significant period of time (say six months) and there is still no change, you may have to resign yourself to the fact that he is either in the wrong job or simply not psychologically strong enough to rise to the occasion. It happens. At that point you will have to make a decision about what to do.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I really messed up—and I’m so embarrassed I’m thinking of quitting my job. I yelled at one of my direct reports during a team meeting.

I was very tired because I had been up all night with a sick kid, and I was super stressed because several of my own deadlines were looming. She just kept pushing and pushing her own point of view about a decision that already had been made two weeks earlier.

At first I tried to be diplomatic by saying, “Okay, we need to move on.” But she just kept going: “I think this is going to cause big problems for us; you should reconsider; blah blah blah.” I finally interrupted her and let her have it. In front of everyone. I don’t even remember what I said, but I know I raised my voice. All of the faces on the web conference just looked shocked.

My boss is in Thailand on vacation, so I can’t talk to him. I am beside myself and really need some input.

Lost It

Dear Lost It,

Geez, don’t quit. There really is no need for that. That would be short-sighted and would really hurt your career, not to mention ruin your boss’s vacation. Just the fact that everyone was so shocked makes it clear to me that this is not a habitual thing. So get a grip.

You have clearly broken trust. Here is a great blog post by our trust expert Randy Conley that will give you step-by-step directions on how to rebuild it.

The first order of business is an apology. This will be time consuming, but you need to apologize to each member of the team individually. Ask someone you trust on your team about what you actually said so that you can apologize properly. With any luck, you didn’t call Pushy McPush Push any names, and you didn’t use profanity or obscenities—but you do need to find out just how bad the damage is.

Once you know exactly what you did that was so awful, go to the object of your ire and tell her you are sorry. No excuses, no ifs, no buts. Just “I am sorry. I am really sorry. Please forgive me.” You can promise that you will work hard to do better in the future.

Then do the same with each person who was on the call. You obviously take your job very seriously and are very chagrined that this happened, so I am guessing your people will cut you some slack. We are all only human. Sometimes our pre-frontal cortex, which is in charge of self-regulation, just gives out. On top of being short of sleep and concerned about your workload, I’ll bet your blood sugar was low or maybe you were dehydrated. This might be a good time to review your own self care routine so that you can stay more balanced in the future. You might be able to make some small changes to ensure you never go ballistic at work again.

Once you have properly apologized, you will want to review what made your team member engage in the behavior that put you over the edge. Did you not properly hear everyone out before the decision was made? Or is there an expectation that once decisions are made it is okay to revisit them? This may be an opportunity to discuss team norms around decision making—it sounds like everyone may not be on the same page.

You are going to be fine, Lost It, I promise. Everybody behaves badly sometimes. It’s okay. Apologize, make a few changes so that it doesn’t happen again, and move on.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Most people will tell you they are working as hard as they can, says bestselling business author Vicki Halsey. “The problem is, they still aren’t able to keep up with the workload. Today, people need to work smarter, not harder,” says Halsey.

“That means leaders need to (1) be sure direct reports are clear on what they have to do; (2) diagnose where they are on each task; and (3) get them the resources they need to succeed. People are doing activities—and lots of them. But the activity may not be targeted toward the critical goal, task, skill, or strategy that is actually needed for the organization to hit the target.”

According to Halsey, productivity improvement begins with observation. She likes to compare behaviors of the most productive people in organizations and the ones who struggle to keep up. One difference is that the former group has a laser focus on the work that needs to be done to achieve strategic goals.

“As Ken Blanchard says, all good performance begins with clear goals. So begin with clear expectations such as what someone needs to achieve, and by when. This is the essence of smart goal setting. Your goal is to create a crystal clear picture of what a good job looks like.”

It’s also important to check for understanding, says Halsey.

“As we think about setting clear expectations with people, it’s important to remember our differences in communication and learning styles. I teach a graduate class at the University of San Diego and also gave the same learning preference survey to my MBA students that measures if they are visual, auditory, kinesthetic, tactile kinesthetic, or auditory verbal. Results from students representing 35 different cohorts showed only 5.4 percent in the category of strong auditory learners. Consider going beyond telling—to showing. For example, in addition to explaining what a good job looks like, provide a video so that learners can actually see the behavior in action.”

Once goals are set, next comes diagnosing competence and commitment, says Halsey.

“Help people see where they are on a specific task in terms of ability and motivation, which we at The Ken Blanchard Companies® describe as competence and commitment. A person can be high or low on either scale. When these measurements are combined, the person will end up in one of four different development levels including Disillusioned Learner (low on commitment, low on competence) and Self-Reliant Achiever (high on commitment, high on competence.)

With an accurate diagnosis, a leader can put together a clear plan to accelerate the person’s productivity, says Halsey. But it requires a rethinking of the SMART goal setting model.

“I love the SMART acronym—Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Trackable. But for it to be most effective, change the “M” in the model to motivating instead of measurable.

“People want to see the impact of their work and they want to know they are making a difference. The original version of SMART begins with Specific and Measurable, which works well for identifying what needs to occur by when. But it doesn’t take into account the very human need of doing work aligned with our purpose, values, and who we want to be in the world.

“Sometimes leaders wonder why they should care how committed a direct report is to a task. When I am training a group of leaders and I hear that, I ask, ‘How many of you have something on your to-do list that you’re not motivated to do?’ Everyone raises their hand! And what happens to those things on our to-do lists? They go to tomorrow’s to-do list. And the next day’s. And what does that do to productivity? It impacts the quality and quantity of work done. So it’s critical that a leader has a very finely tuned sense of observation. They are observing their direct reports either moving toward what needs to happen, or moving away from it.”

That’s the commitment part of the equation, says Halsey—but remember it is critical to also diagnose competence.

“In its simplest definition, competence answers the question Has a person done this before successfully? If a direct report is new to a task with very little experience, the leader will need to provide a lot of direction and access to resources. If the person has accomplished the task successfully with high levels of reliability, the leader can delegate the task to them confidently. If the person is somewhere in between, the leader needs to adjust the mix of direction and support to match the person’s development level.

“So as a leader, you listen and observe very carefully. If the person is a learner, you help solve the problem for them. If they’ve had some demonstrable success but they’re a little hesitant, you flip the conversation and ask them how they think they should solve the problem.”

Halsey says in all cases, the leader needs to stay involved.

“If you leave people alone, that’s when they will move the task to the next day’s to-do list. If you want to keep accelerating their performance, you have to stay with it. Are they letting you know their status on a task, or have they gone dark? Go and check with them. If you notice you’re not seeing the person as much as you used to, you need to connect with them, figure out where they’re stuck, and get them back on track.

“Your goal as a leader is to keep the conversations flowing. That’s the secret to productivity—clear goals, people aligned on performance, and being able to diagnose then give what is needed to ensure they get the job done. When you accomplish that, you begin to work in a highly productive, aligned manner,” says Halsey. “That’s good for you, your people, and your organization!”

Would you like to learn more about creating a culture of high productivity in your organization? Join us for a free webinar!

3 Keys to Creating a High Productivity Work Culture
Tuesday, April 30, 2019, 9:00 – 10:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Research shows that most organizations operate at only 65 percent of their potential productivity. In this webinar, bestselling business author Vicki Halsey shows leadership, learning, and talent development professionals how to reduce the productivity gap in their organizations by improving the performance management skills of their leaders. Halsey will share how to improve leadership skills in three key areas:

• Collaborative goal setting—how leaders create a partnership approach that improves accountability and gets results
• Diagnosing development level—how leaders identify the skills and motivation level of a person being asked to take on a new task
• Providing a matching leadership style—how leaders flex the amount of direction and support they provide to create the perfect environment for goal achievement

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to equip leaders with the skills they need to align and coach people to higher levels of performance and productivity. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Register today!

Dear Madeleine,

I heard somewhere that as a manager I should reward good behaviors and coach negative ones. I have been trying to do this, but I realize I’m not really sure what it means. While we are on the topic, how many times do I let someone make the same mistake before I stop the coaching and just let them go?

Confused About a Bad Apple

Dear CABA,

It is confusing—the term coaching is used in so many different ways. In your case, you are using the word to represent what I might call giving a reprimand, a redirection, or feedback about performance.

I use the term in a more positive sense: as a technique that a boss or manager might use to develop a valuable employee. Coaching takes care and time and is an investment in an employee. In a best case scenario, it is driven by the employee’s agenda. We have some interesting research and information on that here.

Honestly, though, the way you use the word is beside the point. The point here is that it sounds like your bad apple is either unwilling or unable to do the job the way it needs to be done. They need a combination of what we would call clear direction and a lot of support; in other words, crystal clear direction plus some open-ended questions to get to the bottom of what is getting in the way.

If you have an HR department, ask for help documenting each attempt at having these conversations where you give feedback and direction. If you don’t have HR, keep a record for yourself. Make sure you check your confirmation bias—a way we all have of seeking evidence to support what we already believe to be true—as best you can.

How many repeated mistakes should you tolerate? Well, that’s up to you. The thing is, everyone makes mistakes—you make mistakes, I make mistakes, and our best people make mistakes. It happens. That is just normal work. People get overwhelmed by their to-do list and are moving too fast, or maybe they are doing a small part of their job they aren’t naturally great at.

When the same mistake happens repeatedly, though, there has to be a conversation about what is going on and how can it be avoided in future. I personally feel like three solid attempts is about right, because after that it starts to feel like Groundhog Day. Almost every manager I have ever worked with has given an employee entirely too many chances and suffered the consequences. I have never once, in twenty-five years of coaching managers, seen anyone regret letting a person go who either wouldn’t or couldn’t do the job. It is nothing short of liberating.

One last thing you need to consider: none of this happening in a vacuum. Your other employees are watching how you deal with this situation and taking note of what you let others get away with. Some may have to do extra work to pick up the slack around Bad Apple. They will start to resent and judge you if you let it go on too long. I know that one from painful personal experience.

So first, be kind. Give your potential Bad Apple a little extra direction and support and one more chance—and then, if you need to, call it. I guarantee you will have no regrets.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve been a manager for over twenty years and I am facing a situation I just can’t handle. I have an employee—my hire—who has always been great, done great work, learned fast, had a positive attitude, and worked well with everyone. A cheery ray of sunshine on the team.

About six months ago, she started missing meetings with no explanation, calling in sick, and turning in work with errors. This coincided with her getting married. She got back from her honeymoon and just started melting down.

I have given her feedback on her work and have taken her to task for missing deadlines and meetings. When I do this, she just starts to cry. We have had several one on ones where I’ve asked her how she is doing. She is not willing or able to tell me what the heck is going on.

This situation is dragging down the whole team. Speculation about what is going on—including that her new husband is abusive—has become a full-time sport around here. Everyone is worried about her and looking at me to somehow come to her rescue. Please don’t tell me to go to HR—we are a small business and we don’t really have HR; it’s just me.

I’m going to have to let her go if she doesn’t turn things around. What should I do?

Worried

Dear Worried,

You sound kind. It is awful to watch people slide into the pit of despair. But here’s the thing: you can’t save people. And you really can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.

What you can do is continue to give feedback, be kind, and tell the truth. At this point, though, the truth might be something like “you will need to get it together or I will have to let you go. I am here to help you in any way I can, but I can’t help you if you don’t ask for help.”

That’s about it, Worried. It stinks. I know you hate it. I hate it, too. But I have made almost every mistake that can be made trying to save people, so I know this is true.

I’m sorry.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Want a more purposeful, aligned, and engaged organization? “Make sure managers and direct reports are taking a collaborative approach to performance,” says Susan Fowler, senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies and coauthor of the company’s Self Leadership training program.

“It starts with agreed-upon goals,” Fowler continues.

“In my early days as a consultant, I was asked by leaders of an organization to help improve telephone communication skills. I soon realized that the organization wasn’t actually interested in general telephone skills but only wanted to address the mistakes being made at their front desk—especially the negative feedback from employees and customers about one telephone operator in particular. I decided to work directly with the operator on goal setting.

“She had been in her role for a long time but her manager had never attempted to work with her on setting goals—he had only expressed frustration about the complaints. Her service position was primarily reactive and the manager had found it too challenging to set goals for a job where there was little control.

“She and I tackled the negative feedback regarding mistakes by setting a goal to reduce mistakes by 50 percent over the next two months. We identified actions she could take to improve accuracy and customer service. We also asked company employees to monitor their messages for mistakes and to report any customer complaints.

“After a couple of months, I checked in and was dismayed to learn that inaccuracies and complaints had actually increased! We attributed the bad news to the fact that we had brought attention to the problems and asked for feedback. We decided to consider the feedback a gift and began analyzing the data we’d received.

“Together, we discovered that most of the mistakes were occurring between the hours of 2:00 and 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time. When the business day ended in the Eastern and Central Time zones, calls were routed to the California office. The extra volume was too much for one person to handle, putting an unreasonable expectation on the operator and her ability to deal with calls in a friendly and effective manner.

“The data gave us the evidence we needed to ask for help. We asked the operator’s manager to put a second person at the switchboard for those two hours. Two months later, the operator had not only achieved but exceeded her goal,” says Fowler. “It was a simple solution—but without a collaborative goal-setting approach, we never would have understood the underlying cause of her poor performance. She would have continued to get negative feedback—and maybe lost her job.”

That’s why Fowler is so adamant about approaching goal setting as a joint responsibility where managers and team members work together to clarify expectations, identify challenges, and develop a plan for accessing the resources each person needs to succeed.

“Managers and direct reports need to sit down and talk about what it would look like if each of them were doing the best possible job. It is a rich, deep conversation that clarifies expectations on both sides about what the job is and how they can work together to create alignment in a way that is effective, engaging, and worth pursuing.”

Rethinking SMART goals

Fowler says this type of approach requires tweaking the SMART goal criteria used in most organizations.

“Most people know SMART as specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and trackable. At Blanchard, we recommend changing the M to motivating.”

Fowler explains that if managers don’t explore a team member’s motivation and create a way for each individual to connect their work to personally meaningful values, the manager ends up having to hold them accountable.

“Managers who focus on only being specific and measurable in goal setting end up spending their time holding people accountable. Why? Because the goals weren’t personally inspiring to the direct report. Help people be accountable so you don’t have to hold them accountable.”

Fowler teaches managers to make sure they have a conversation with each direct report where they explore the individual’s self motivation to achieve each goal. This ensures the person’s motivation isn’t dependent on external factors they can’t control.

“When someone can connect a goal to their personal values, the result will be a person who is accountable—because they have clarified, negotiated, or reframed the goal in a way that is personally meaningful and important. That’s a key learning objective in our Self Leadership program. We teach individual contributors that when they are given a goal, it is their responsibility to:

• Clarify the goal if it is unclear
• Negotiate if they don’t believe the goal is fair or relevant to their job
• Reframe a goal if it’s not personally compelling or in line with their values or sense of purpose

“Working collaboratively to clarify, negotiate, or reframe goals sets up a joint accountability between manager and direct report that leads to goal achievement.”

From goal setting to goal achievement

Clear goals set the stage and make it easier for the manager to provide the appropriate levels of direction and support a person needs to get the job done, says Fowler.

“The reality is that most managers have their own work goals at the same time they are managing the work of others. I’m always surprised when organizations expect managers to be aware of what is going on inside the heads of every one of their direct reports while they are each working on their different tasks.  We know from experience that even our loved ones—the people we are closest to—often don’t know what we are thinking. Why would we expect managers to know what each of their direct reports is thinking?

“At Blanchard, we teach managers and direct reports how to use a shared language to describe the four stages of development everyone goes through when presented with a new goal or task. This ranges from enthusiastic beginner when someone is just starting out, through the motivational dip we describe as disillusioned learner, to capable, but cautious contributor as they build competence and commitment, and finally, to self-reliant achiever when they’ve mastered the task.

“When managers and direct reports have a shared understanding of development levels, it provides them with a means to have effective conversations every step of the way. Now a person can go to their manager and say, ‘I’m at the D1 level of development (or the enthusiastic beginner stage) on this goal. I’m excited about the challenge but since I’ve never done it before, I need direction from you.’”

A shared language also makes it easier for the manager to respond appropriately and more effectively, says Fowler.

“If an individual needs direction, a manager can immediately provide it or find a resource that can. This same shared language can make it easier for a manager to say, ‘I don’t know how to do that either—let’s find a resource for you.’

“When goal achievement is pursued as a collaborative responsibility, it gives the manager permission to talk about other resources and ways of getting the team member what they need.”

An important twist when engaging in one-on-ones

One additional recommendation Fowler has for managers is to share ownership of one-on-one meetings.

“A lot of people think the one-on-one should be driven by the manager.  What we’re saying is that the agenda for the one-on-one should be directed by the direct report. If the manager is leading the one-on-one, it’s pretty hard to distinguish it from other kinds of performance management discussions, such as goal setting or feedback conversations. When the direct report sets the agenda, they are saying, ‘I understand this is my goal. Here is the progress I’m making and here is what I need, either from you or from another resource, to keep moving forward.”

A key skill for today’s successful organizations

Fowler encourages leadership, learning, and talent development professionals at companies of all sizes to consider how they can bring a more collaborative approach to leadership in their organizations.

“In the last 15 years I have seen a tremendous increase in research that identifies the importance of self leadership. In fact, increasing the proactive behavior of individual contributors has been identified as the single most important ingredient for the success of organizational initiatives.

“Teaching people how to use a shared language to self diagnose and partner with their managers is a great way to get started. It creates an engaging and motivating environment for the individual and helps the manager and the entire organization move forward more quickly to succeed.

“Don’t delay—start using a more collaborative approach today!”

____________________________________________________________________________

Would you like to learn more about taking a collaborative approach to performance management? Join Susan Fowler for a free webinar!

Partnering for Performance: 3 Ways to Help Your Managers and Direct Reports Collaborate to Achieve Goals

March 27, 2019 / 9:00 a.m. Pacific / 12:00 p.m. Eastern / 4:00 p.m. UK Time / 4:00 p.m. GMT

If you are a leadership, learning, or talent development professional, you know that it takes two to optimize performance—the manager and the direct report. As their leader, your dilemma is how to encourage and facilitate the crucial relationship between the two.

In this webinar, bestselling business author Susan Fowler shares how you can promote a collaborative approach to performance management that has been proven to get results with high levels of engagement. Fowler reveals the latest research-based strategies on self motivation and how to combine it with the time-tested principles of Situational Leadership® II (SLII®)—the most widely-taught leadership development model in the world.

Participants will learn how to position performance management as a joint responsibility—with managers and direct reports working together to make sure they set clear, motivating goals and effectively diagnose competence and commitment on key tasks so that everyone has what they need to succeed.

You will explore how to help managers and team members:

• Take a top-down, bottom-up approach to SMART goal setting with a focus on motivation and task competence
• Build mutual accountability for achieving agreed-upon goals
• Take a situational approach to performance management where direct reports self diagnose their development level and ask for the direction and support they need to succeed

Fowler will share how this joint approach achieves outcomes faster, more efficiently, and with a greater sense of engagement. It’s a 1+1 = 3 approach that yields much better results than when managers and direct reports work independently.

Don’t miss this opportunity to get your managers and direct reports collaborating for goal achievement!

Use this link to register today!

Dear Madeleine,

I was recently hired into a manufacturing company in the engineering department. I am leading two different teams. One of the teams is running smoothly, and the other one is a disaster.

Disaster team is in constant turmoil— to the degree that some members of team are not even speaking to each other. The work output isn’t a complete mess yet, but we seem to be headed that way. I am leading both teams in the same way, so I can’t identify what I should be doing differently. What to do?

A Tale of Two Teams

_____________________________________________________

Dear A Tale of Two Teams,

Wow. The good news is that you aren’t responsible for creating the mess. The bad news is that once a team has gotten off on the wrong foot, it can be really hard to put things right. But there are some things you can do—and everything you learn from this experience will serve you well.

It sounds as if you are on your own when it comes to becoming a better team leader. This is not unusual. Our research shows:

• Over half of all work is done on teams, and most of us are on five or six teams at any given time. It is how the really complicated work gets done.
• Most teams are suffering—only 27 percent of people would say that their teams are high performing.
• Just 1 in 4 people think they have been well trained by their organization to lead teams.

The top obstacles to teams working well are familiar to all of us. Teams fall apart because of:

• Unclear purpose of team and/or unclear goals
• Murky roles and decision rights
• Lack of accountability (some people pull their weight and others don’t), which leads to resentment.
• Lack of candor and openness, which leads to the death of constructive conflict
• Poor tracking and no celebration of wins and progress

All of these complications undermine trust and collaboration. Not surprisingly, lack of clarity is the ultimate undermining factor. If you look carefully at your team that is working, you will probably find that its members have somehow created clarity around the team’s purpose, goals, and behavioral norms, and that they know how to solve problems and resolve disagreements. Those areas might be a good place to start with your disaster team. Call out that they are in crisis, and request that you all go back to the beginning and start over to get clarity on all of the above dimensions

It might be helpful for you to know about the study that Google did on teams that work well. They found these to be the most important elements for high performing teams:

• Psychological safety: Team members feel safe to fully express themselves, share ideas, and take risks free of the fear of humiliation, punishment, or judgment.
• Dependability: Team members can depend on each other to do what they say they will do, mean what they say, and have each other’s backs.
• Structure and clarity: Everyone on the team is crystal clear about the overarching objectives of the team and their own individual goals and tasks for the team.
• Meaning: Each person must find their own emotional connection to the work or the outcomes of the work. It will vary for each individual.
• Impact: Each individual, and the team as a whole, must have a clear line of sight between their own work, the work of the team, and the big picture strategic goals of the organization.

As the team leader, you can help create or increase psychological safety by role modeling certain behaviors—the behaviors you seek in your team members.

• Pay close attention to each individual, use active listening techniques, don’t interrupt, and acknowledge all contributions.
• Be fully present and engaged while with the team.
• Be accessible, share information about yourself, and encourage others to do the same.
• Include all team members in decision making and explain your final decisions in detail so that everyone understands your thinking.
• Show that you will not tolerate bad behavior by stepping in when you see it.

It all starts with you. Creating psychological safety is a tall order, so I would recommend starting with the behaviors that make sense to you and come easily. Then drive for clarity, clarity, clarity. My experience tells me it’s very possible you have one person on the team who benefits from creating chaos and keeping things muddy. You know the adage: one bad apple spoils the barrel. If this is true, it will be revealed as you drive for clarity and you can remove that person from the team. If it isn’t true, clarity will reduce the friction and the team will balance out.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

How do you guide a recent graduate—someone new to the work world—to not be so confident of his own work? How do you convince him to check his work, question his solutions, and search for the best answer instead of the first one?

I don’t want to tear down anyone’s confidence, but this person’s cockiness seems to be a surefire recipe for disaster. Plus, you really can’t learn if you think you already know. I appreciate your thoughts on this.

Want to Guide

________________________________________________

Dear Want to Guide,

You have to love it when a young new employee is an enthusiastic beginner and is cheerfully ignorant of the massive amount he doesn’t know! I’m not sure how long this newbie has been in your care, but of course there is no way to go back to the beginning to set the expectation that you will be watching carefully and giving feedback. (Note: It is always much easier to closely supervise a new hire and then loosen up as they demonstrate competence than to start loose and later attempt to tighten up. Tuck that piece of advice away for future reference.)

For your situation right now, I would suggest you go at it with subtlety. Next time the recent graduate turns work in, set up fifteen minutes to go over it with him. Call out what works with his first draft and then ask him some questions that will help him go deeper for the second draft. This way, it isn’t so much that you are criticizing as acknowledging the positives of his work so far and now asking him to go deeper.

Here are some examples:

• What don’t you know about this topic? Is there a way to find out what aspects of this topic you might be leaving out?
• What if you were to question the assumption in your first point?
• Let’s try looking at this from another point of view.
• What if you were to take nothing as face value?
• What arguments might you use to support your point here?
• How might you expand on the implications of this?

Hopefully, your new hire will gain some ground in the discussion and you can ask him to put himself through the same list of questions for his next presentation.

You can also proofread his work, track your changes, and ask that he proof his own work in the future. (He must have had to proof his work in school, no?) Here are some fundamental rules you can remind him of.

• Leave time between a first draft and subsequent edits. It is much easier to see errors with fresh eyes.
• Ask a peer to do the proofing. It’s always much easier to catch errors in work that isn’t your own.
• In a slide presentation, first go through it in “presentation mode.” Errors will stick out like a sore thumb in that format, and it is much better if there isn’t an audience for the discovery!

If you need to go at it directly, start by sharing your regret that you didn’t set the expectation up front that part of your job is to develop your people and that you would be giving feedback. You can also share that it isn’t your intention to demotivate him or shake his confidence, and that your input is designed to help him to grow and to achieve his full potential.

The key is to be clear that it’s fine for him to be where he is in terms of his development in the new job—but now it’s time to sharpen his skills. Make it all about the work, not about the person. Be kind, clear, concise, and relentless. Don’t let anything egregious get by you—this way he will know you are paying attention, and pay more attention himself.

Most employees report that they don’t get enough feedback. You would be doing him no favors by letting him skate by. Eventually, he will have to clean up his act, so he might as well get started now. Someday he will thank you for it.

You can do this!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Best-selling business author Scott Blanchard says managers who are effective at goal setting with their people keep two things in mind:

1. The big picture—why we are doing it and what matters about it?
2. The short term—what do we need to do now to move forward toward the larger goal?

Blanchard gives an example of this process:

“I just finished some work with a fairly large organization that has sixteen general managers. I asked if I could interview two of the GMs who were achieving the best results. Even though I interviewed them independently, their approach to goal setting was remarkably similar.

“Both of these GMs set big goals and have clear expectations with their people that the goals will be met. They also stress the importance and discipline of a weekly Monday meeting to discuss with their team what’s in front of them this week, what they can handle, and what they need to do to accomplish the larger goal. They succeed in the long run by focusing on the short run and connecting the two.”

Blanchard says another important key for successful goal setting is resilience—the ability to adjust when things don’t progress as planned.

“Rarely do things go exactly as planned. But too often when things go awry, instead of talking about what can be done to get things back on track, people come to a full stop.

“My clients referred to what they call “mental toughness”: the ability to keep performing when things change, go sour, or take longer than planned. Early in the process, teams are primed with the mindset that things aren’t always going to go smoothly—and they are given ways to respond in the moment to achieve the best possible result. Goal setting is not meant to be static. If the team is stuck or heading in the wrong direction, the manager works with them to restate the goal and make adjustments.”

Blanchard also emphasizes that regular check-ins are especially important when the goal is new, difficult, or one the team has not achieved successfully in the past. “When a team is focusing on something new or challenging, frequent check-ins with the manager are essential. As the team gains confidence and demonstrates competence, these meetings can be scheduled further apart.

“In both our SLII® and our First-time Manager programs we teach that once goals are set, managers need to check in with team members on a regular basis to remind them what they are trying to accomplish and why it matters. Managers also need to take opportunities to have praising conversations when things are going well and redirection conversations when things deviate from the plan.  

“Over time, as people become more confident and trusted, the manager can delegate more and pull back on the frequency and intensity of these conversations. As people become self-reliant, the manager can turn over the responsibility for achieving the goals to the individual or the team.”

It’s all part of seeing the leader/direct report relationship as a partnership, explains Blanchard.

“It’s about working side by side with people—providing direction and support in a way that lets them grow into their autonomy. For example, when a salesperson is working for a sales manager, their goals are interdependent. As the salesperson demonstrates an increased capacity to achieve the goal, the manager can direct a little less and use more of a coaching style. Instead of telling, the manager is asking and listening.

“Setting goals is a foundation for success,” says Blanchard, “and having clear agreements about performance expectations, with regular check-ins, is the process for getting there. Obstacles that can undermine relationships and results are a lack of clarity and a lack of clear agreement.

“When things really matter, effective managers make the effort to ensure the team is crystal clear on goals and procedures. This takes extra time at the beginning of a project, but it will pay dividends in the long term. Plus, it sets a process in place that the team can use on future projects.

“That’s a win-win for everybody,” says Blanchard.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Would you like to learn more about helping your managers develop their goal-setting, direction, and support skills? Then join Scott Blanchard for a free webinar!

3 Steps to Building a Purposeful, Aligned, and Engaged Workforce

February 20, 2019, 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time

In this webinar, best-selling business author Scott Blanchard will share a 3-step process for creating a focused, purpose-driven, and engaged work environment. Blanchard will show participants how to

• Set clear goals at the individual, team, department, and organizational level
• Identify motivation and competency for identified tasks
• Ask for—or provide—the resources needed to get the job done

This webinar is designed for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals charged with improving leadership skills and overall organizational performance. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to create a focused, purposeful, and aligned work environment in your organization.

Use this link to register today!

Dear Madeleine,

I have a high-stress technical job serving the sales department of a professional services company. I have one direct report I am struggling with.

Everything is an emotional event with him. He takes everything personally and even finds ways to get offended by positive feedback. He is always melting down and getting sick. I am doing more and more of his job myself, and I spend inordinate amounts of time talking him off the ledge.

In his defense, our sales people move fast—and it’s true they have dumped extra work on him, and even some work he shouldn’t be doing. I have talked to my boss about getting more help, but my boss tends to stay out of things like this as long as the work is getting done. In this case, he just smiles and tells me I can do it!

I am at my breaking point. I just don’t know what to do. Help?

At Wit’s End

___________________________________________________________________

Dear At Wit’s End,

You are clearly kind, compassionate, competent, and over-functioning for everyone else. It will feel mean when I point out that you are role modeling perfectly how to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. So, stop it. Right now.

Your battle is on two fronts: 1) the problem with your direct report 2) the problem with getting what you need from your boss.  Decide which to tackle first and then get up on your horse and charge. Remember, you say you are at your wit’s end, so at this point you have nothing to lose.

Regarding your direct report: first go to HR and get yourself some help. You need to put your direct report on a performance plan and hold him accountable for his share of the work. You can provide him with information about what the company offers in terms of psychological support. Many Employee Assistance Programs offer at least six sessions with a qualified therapist and it would at least be a start for him to address his emotional instability.

A manager can only provide so much support, and it sounds like you crossed that line a while back. The guy must get professional help or risk losing his job. I know it sounds harsh, but honestly—he is not going to have a successful career without some real help, so you are doing him a favor. The longer you cover for him and spend critical work time providing amateur psych services for him, the deeper you are digging your hole. Heck, get some of that psych support yourself—talk things through with someone and develop a strategy to protect yourself from your own niceness in the future.

In terms of your boss: it’s hard to tell, but because you are so nice, I’m guessing you aren’t being direct about all aspects of this situation. Get super clear about what you need. If necessary, use a spreadsheet to show the amount of work coming in and how many hours go into different tasks. That will paint the picture of how out of whack things are.

You may have to threaten to quit if you can’t get the support you need, which means you should be answering calls from headhunters, trolling job sites, brushing up your LinkedIn profile, and preparing to make your move. Be prepared for the possibility that you might have to go, it will strengthen your position. But don’t think you can run away from your own inability to set boundaries and stand up for yourself – if you don’t really work on this now, you will get yourself right back into a similar pinch in your next job. Use this opportunity. It will be really uncomfortable, but worth it. I promise, you will never look back.

You can do it. Apply the same fierce analytical skills and high-level competence to this situation that you use in the technical parts of your job. Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In his seminal 1973 book, The Nature of Managerial Work, Henry Mintzberg proposed ten roles that define the day-to-day activities of a manager. They are: Figurehead, Leader, Liaison, Monitor, Disseminator, Spokesperson, Entrepreneur, Disturbance Handler, Resource Allocator, and Negotiator. These roles are still referenced in modern articles about management and in training courses for managers.

The world today is unimaginably different from a 1973 perspective. Workplace diversity, distributed workforces, globalism, technology, and previously unknown industries make for a landscape as different from 1973 as post-industrial revolution farming was from its predecessor.

In reviewing the managerial roles espoused by Mintzberg, we wonder: Are they the same today? As a manager do your responsibilities incorporate them or are things different for you?

Special Offer to Participate in Research Project

The Ken Blanchard Companies is looking for two dozen managers to interview regarding their modern managerial activities and roles. Candidates who take part in interviews can choose from selected online courses offered by the company for their participation. Interested managers should contact Jim Diehl and the product development research team at The Ken Blanchard Companies for additional details.

Use this email to request information on participation: jim.diehl@kenblanchard.com

Why? What causes some people to fully commit to the team and give their max effort while others don’t?

It’s trust.

In research conducted by The Ken Blanchard Companies and Training Magazine, over 60% of respondents say the most important factor influencing the effort they give to a team is how much they trust their fellow teammates.

Having high trust in your teammates frees you up to focus on your own contributions without worrying about others following through on their commitments. Trusting your team gives you freedom to take risks, knowing your teammates have your back and will support you. Team trust allows you to have open and honest dialogue and healthy debate that leads to better decision-making, and conflict gets resolved productively instead of people sandbagging issues or sabotaging the efforts of others.

But developing trust in your teammates doesn’t happen by accident; it takes an intentional effort to proactively build trust. There are three major areas to consider in fostering team trust:

Team Leadership Behaviors—The team leader needs to focus on behaviors that provide the right blend of direction and support for individual team members as well as the team as a whole. It’s a delicate balance between the two, because too much focus on directive behavior can lead to micromanaging and the squashing of team member initiative and morale. Leaning too much on supportive behaviors can result in a lax culture where accountability is absent and team productivity is diminished. When team members receive balanced leadership, clear expectations, praise and recognition for achievements, and seeing their leader act in ways that show he/she has the team’s best interests in mind, they are willing to pledge their trust to that leader and their teammates.

Team Culture & Norms—High-trust teams have clear operating norms and a distinctive culture that fosters the development of trust. Decision-making processes are a particularly important aspect of a team’s culture. Processes that allow for open sharing of information, encouraging divergent point of views, and fostering healthy debate among team members are all trustworthy actions a team can build into their day-to-day operations.

Personal Trustworthiness—Trust starts with you. If we expect others to grant us trust, then we have to prove ourselves worthy of trust. There are four primary ways we show we our trustworthy. The first is through our ability. Demonstrating competence in our work gives others confidence that we are skilled and knowledgeable and will be able to pull our weight on the team. The second way we demonstrate trustworthiness is by showing we are believable. When we give our word, people can believe it. They know we are honest, act with integrity, and behave in alignment with our values. The third way to show we are worthy of trust is to care about others. People want to know they matter and that their team members care about them as individuals, not just anonymous co-workers. Developing rapport, putting the needs of others ahead of our own, and giving praise and recognition are ways to show our care for others. Finally, the fourth way to demonstrate trustworthiness is being dependable. Dependability means you behave consistently, follow through on commitments, are accountable, and will be there in the clutch when your team needs you.

I think Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski sums it up best in his book, Leading with the Heart, the power that trust brings to teams and organizations:

“In leadership, there are no words more important than trust. In any organization, trust must be developed among every member of the team if success is going to be achieved.” ~ Mike Krzyzewski

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

I head up one of several R&D teams at a global consumer goods company. My team is amazing—brilliant, eccentric, creative, fun people who are blowing away their goals. (It takes a certain type of person to be good at what we do.)

Here is my problem. Some of my folks are good at the basics—showing up on time for meetings, submitting expenses, dressing appropriately, filling out paperwork, etc. But the others not so much. I am constantly on them to comply with the bare minimum of what is required to operate in this large system. Case in point: conducting performance reviews.

I know some managers who can throw all the rules to the wind and allow their creatives to operate as they please, but I just can’t do it. I have spoken to my own boss and my peers to get some ideas about how to get people to toe the line, but they all just laugh and say I’ll figure it out. I don’t have kids but I am starting to feel like a parent. It is making me really…

Cranky

Dear Cranky,

Presumably, you manage these people because you are one of them.  Are you not eccentric and creative yourself? How did the person previously in your position handle this problem? You must have leadership skills to have been so attractive to the best. Your people are doing well because you have created an environment in which they can thrive—and yet, you have also led them to think that they can get away with, well, acting like children.

Something you are doing—possibly not having proper boundaries—is sending the wrong signal. Henry Cloud is an expert on this. You may want to take a look at his work.

I am married to an eccentric creative, I manage a bunch of wildly creative people, and I am a parent. And still, my least strong suit is getting people to do tedious stuff they have to do, so I really do feel your pain. I must be clear, concise and relentless about what is necessary. Repetition and reminders without judgment are helpful. And however strong the temptation might be, I do not shield other adults from the consequences of their choices.

Your job as a manager is to clearly inform your people of the consequences of not complying with requirements. Putting a time limit on getting the performance review done might work: if something isn’t done in a certain time frame, they don’t get a raise. You may have already thought of this. I know with my huge team, we have finally resorted to not paying expenses that are submitted more than 30 days after the event. That works for some, but others just don’t care about money.

Another idea is to go to HR and see what special dispensation you might be able to get for your team. It may not be possible, but I know a lot of the large global companies are trying to be more flexible about these things. Maybe you could be a pilot program for some new, easier methods in this area.

Finally, leverage the genius of your team. Put this conundrum in front of them to solve. This is not your problem alone. It is draining you now and will begin to drain the energy of your team soon as well. Let them apply some of their brilliance and creativity—maybe even some old-fashioned peer pressure—to shift this situation.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

One element within the feedback conversation—redirection—tends to be especially challenging for managers. It focuses on those times when a manager must provide feedback that a direct report’s current performance is off-track.

In their book The New One Minute Manager, coauthors Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson lay out a time-tested approach to help managers deliver needed feedback. Here are 4 key takeaways you can use to improve your feedback skills.

1. Do your homework

Before you rush to deliver feedback, make sure clear agreements about goals, norms, roles, and expectations have been established. Often the root cause of poor performance is a lack of clarity around goals. Verify with your direct report that the two of you are operating from the same set of expectations. Many performance issues can be rectified at this stage.

2. Focus on behavior

If goals are clear but there is a gap between expectations and observed performance, talk about it with your direct report. Describe their behavior in specific, not general, terms. Use a neutral tone to ward off any sense of blame or judgment—remember, you are addressing the behavior, not criticizing the person. The goal is not to tear people down; it is to build them up. As Blanchard and Johnson explain, “When our self-concept is under attack, we feel a need to defend ourselves and our actions, even to the extent of distorting the facts. When people become defensive, they don’t learn.”

3. Let it sink in

After giving feedback, pause for a moment so you both can process the situation. Let your direct report feel your concern as well as their own.

4. Move on

When it’s over, it’s over. Don’t dwell on the experience. Be sure to reaffirm your belief, trust, and respect for your team member so that when your meeting is over they are thinking about how they can improve their performance, not about how you mistreated them. Expect that the feedback will be received and acted upon. And be ready to endorse and praise performance when you see improvement.

Giving performance feedback is a critical job responsibility of any manager, but it can be a daunting task for many people—especially when the feedback is less than positive. Managers don’t want to generate negative emotions, damage relationships, or make a bad situation worse. As a result, managers often delay or avoid giving necessary feedback, allowing poor performance to continue.

Don’t let that happen to you or to the people in your organization. With a little practice you can develop the skill of delivering feedback in a way that changes behavior while keeping the relationship intact. Feedback is an essential managerial skill. Take an extra minute to improve your skills in this important area!

Would you like to learn more about improving the quality of performance management conversations in your organization? Join Ann Phillips for a complimentary webinar on Performance Management 101: 3 Conversations All Managers Need to Master. The event is free courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can learn more and register using this link.

When I listen to organizational sponsors express their needs for leadership development, it can be framed as a need to shift people from almost ready to ready NOW. Coaching is a significant way to develop high potentials into emerging leaders. Here are three ways a coach can help:

• Identifying strengths. Coaches can assist leaders in identifying and understanding how to leverage their unique gifts.
• Practicing new skills. Coaching creates an environment in which leaders can discuss and practice new skills and behaviors.
• Developing more advanced skills. Coaching causes leaders to mature and move past problem solving toward an increased ability to manage paradoxical situations.

Coaching provides a process for helping leaders deliver on their best intentions. Supporting a high potential manager with a coach creates a double impact: as the coach draws out information, ideas, solutions, and high level thinking from the emerging leader, the leader can, in turn, draw out information, ideas and higher level thinking from their people. Thus, the emerging leader encourages self-reliance and ownership of the work that’s being done by their direct reports.

Coaching has the potential to create an organizational cultural shift where future leaders continually develop future leaders.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

My long-time boss recently left and I finally got a chance to be a manager. But soon after I stepped into the role, upper management informed me I needed to cut at least three people from my team as part of a massive company restructure.

I messaged my old boss and she told me this kind of situation was one of the reasons she left. She advised me to do the same thing!

I feel betrayed by my old boss. In four short months I’ve gone from being ecstatic over my new role to being in despair and exhausted. Should I just quit like my boss suggested and try to find another job? What do you think?

Completely Overwhelmed

Dear Completely Overwhelmed,

What a cruel disappointment. That just stinks. The first thing you need to do is calm down and reduce the amount of adrenaline racing through your system. Take a big step back and a lot of deep breaths. I know you feel terrible right now, but you are going to figure this out.

If you just throw in the towel because you feel betrayed and disappointed, I know you will regret not having given this your best shot. Am I projecting? Possibly. I personally have a high tolerance for risk—and I have some whopping failures to show for it. But I’ve learned an awful lot from them.

I suggest you tighten your shoelaces and show up for this challenge. If that is what you choose, here are a few things you can do to stay grounded.

• Get your new boss on your side. Find out what is most important to him or her and in what order. This person must know you are not equipped to deal with this situation, so be honest about it and ask for very clear direction.
• Get to know your HR partner. Take her to lunch. Get him on autodial. If you have to let people go, get all the help you possibly can. It is a terrible thing to have to learn to do, but as a manager it is essential. The best advice I have for you is to be kind, clear, direct and brief. Do not waver. Take personal responsibility to the extent possible. Decide what needs to said and say only those things. If you can get your HR partner to join you—or even to lead the meetings—all the better.
• Figure out who else in the organization you need to have on your side. Relationships are going to be what gets you through this. You can read an article on that here.
• Get smart about change. Start with this great blog post and go from there. You will need this information to manage yourself and your people.
• See if the company will provide you with a coach. If they won’t, find one and pay for it yourself. Make sure the coach has experience working with new managers who need to ramp up fast. If there was ever a time to get help, this is it. Get as much help for yourself as you possibly can.
• Put your sanity and self-care first. This is going to be a marathon and you need to take care of yourself to go the distance. So go to the gym or take a walk. Leave work at a reasonable time. Get your sleep, stay hydrated, and lean on your friends.

Surprise! Things change quickly. Life can throw insane curve balls. Sure, you could decide to leave, brush up your LinkedIn profile, and start networking. But wouldn’t you rather try to rise to the occasion and either win or go down fighting? I won’t judge you if you wouldn’t. I promise.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a fairly large group in engineering.  My team has a good reputation with the rest of the company and works well together. 

Except for one person. 

I have one direct report that I just don’t know what to do with.  “K” has always been a little bit prickly and unpredictable, but people put up with it because she is bright and creative and always brings—or rather, brought—fresh perspectives to the table.

Over the last few months though, things have gotten worse.  A couple of my other employees have mentioned that they are avoiding working with her.  I tried to give her feedback, but she literally got up and walked out of my office.  She is rude to her team mates, and to me.   I am going to have to put her on a performance plan but the fact is that I am really worried that she is having some kind of break down and I feel like I should somehow be able to help her.

Want to Help

Dear Want to Help,

When a good employee starts behaving erratically it is almost always a sign that something has gone severely sideways in their personal lives.   A scary health problem for the employee or one of their loved ones, substance abuse that has gotten out of control, a deterioration in a relationship with a significant other.

If you are lucky, your employees will let you know what is going on so you can assist with connections to appropriate HR support, and helping to manage workload and workflow.  But so many folks come from work environments that punish them for needing support or assistance that they might have trust issues.  If the employee isn’t talking it is hard to know how to help, although I applaud your desire to.

First of all, do your homework. Start keeping a record of all incidents in which K’s actions affect the success of the team.  Find out from HR what kind of assistance is available to K. So many good workers are promoted to management without any training whatsoever about what to do when an employee’s personal life affects their ability to work, so this is your opportunity to get a crash course.

Then, go at it head-on with K.  You will want to express that you are committed to keeping K’s wellbeing in mind as you also try to balance that with the success of the team. Tell K that her behavior is keeping team mates away and that she is no longer adding value to the team, and that things need to change right away if she wants to avoid consequences.

Be clear about what the consequences might be – it isn’t mean, or kicking someone while they are down to share the truth of the situation.  Share that your intention is to help in any way that you can, if she is willing to accept help.  Share whatever information you get from HR about what kind of help might be available through your EAP, if any.  Possibly offer K paid or unpaid leave so she can take the time she needs to get back on an even keel.

So many employees who are suffering in their personal lives are paralyzed by their inability to cope, or they are ashamed, or they are simply so private that it just doesn’t occur to them to tell anyone about what is going on, let alone their boss.

K may just not be able to receive help from you, no matter how kind you are or how much you try.  Do your best—that is all you can do.  Ultimately, your job is to do everything in your power to help your whole team succeed so you will have make decisions based on that in the long run.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Below are a few key skills and techniques that coaches use when working with others. Each of these skills will help your managers adopt more of a coaching approach in their interactions. If you are interested in a more extensive and detailed look, check out Coaching in Organizations – Best Coaching Practices by Madeleine Homan and Linda Miller. Also, the International Coach Federation’s list of Core Competencies for coaches are listed on the federation’s website: www.coachfederation.org

• Take a service-partnership approach. It’s not about you. The focus is on helping leaders be effective and develop.
• Be fully present. This can be a challenge even for experienced coaches—there are so many distractions in today’s world. Constantly reengage yourself. During the coaching session, nothing else matters other than the person you are working with.
• Be a sounding board. Practice active listening. Many people just need a neutral partner to listen to them so they can work it out for themselves vocally.
• Inquire for insight: Ask open-ended questions. Clarifying questions help get to the heart of the topic. Focus questions set the direction for the coaching session. Discovery questions lead to increased awareness. Challenging questions lead to new insight and action.

This list is only a highlight of what is needed to have a productive, valuable, and rewarding coaching session from the client and coach perspective. Give it a try. I’m sure that even with this exploratory approach, your managers will experience the thrill of hearing and watching their people have aha moments as they come up with their own solutions.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The challenge is knowing when each conversation is most appropriate. Without clear distinctions it is easy for these conversations to blend together and overlap. And once that happens, managers may find themselves attempting to play all three roles—manager, coach, and mentor— simultaneously, and that rarely (if ever) turns out well.

Here are the distinctions that can help leaders and managers identify the best conversation to use based on the questions people ask.

The Management Conversation—for questions about what the job is, how to do it, and how to produce the best results. The management conversation is most appropriate when the goal or task is clear and when manager and direct report have shared responsibility for results. Management conversations solve problems and produce results, with and through others, that benefit the organization.

The Coaching Conversation—for questions about things that are affecting a direct report but aren’t necessarily related to their job or their performance. The coaching conversation works best for creating clarity when goals are not crystal clear. It is also used when the direct report has higher interest than the manager in the outcome or when the manager does not have enough expertise to provide optimal benefit to the employee. Coaching conversations promote discovery, generate insights, and clarify purposeful action for the employee in ways that may or may not benefit the organization.

The Mentoring Conversation—for questions about professional development and career support. The mentoring conversation is used when a mentee—whether or not they are a direct report—is seeking advice and willing to assume responsibility for a mentor/mentee relationship. The mentor must have suitable experience and useful advice to provide about the company or industry.  The mentor also must be willing to invest time and energy in ways that go above and beyond the requirements of their regular job. Mentoring conversations enable the sharing of expertise based on personal experience, which may or may not benefit the organization.

Being all things to all people is impossible. The manager who knows exactly where they are and what role they are playing at any given moment will be able to serve their people best.

In upcoming posts, I’ll share ways to be more effective with each of these conversations. For now, consider these three distinctions. What types of conversations are you and your leaders most often engaging in?  Are you identifying different outcomes—or are you trying to be everything to everyone?

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Hi Madeleine,

I run a business where we manage large projects and serve customers all day long. I have a new hire who just isn’t working out. She is rude to customers and makes constant errors. She needs to have instructions repeated again and again and just can’t seem to retain anything.

Last week I told her that it is possible she is not suited for our business and she might be happier doing something else. I was as diplomatic as I know how to be. She insisted she loves it here and that this is what she wants to do. Then she went and told everyone that I think she is terrible and I hate her.

What a mess. What on earth do I do now?

Made a Mess

Dear Made a Mess,

I’m not sure you can salvage this situation—and even if you could, I’m not sure you should. You may be right that your employee is not suited to the role if she not only has the undesirable qualities you first mentioned but also gossips to anyone who will listen.

My first instinct is to advise you cut your losses and let her go.

My second, more kind instinct is to suggest you sit down with her to have the difficult conversation. Explain that you don’t hate her; in fact, you want to help her succeed and do a reset.

My third instinct is to let you know that in my 28 years of coaching, I have not once had a client regret letting go of an employee that was taking up the bulk of their waking hours. So there you go.

To avoid this kind of thing in the future, put some focus on business fundamentals.

Hiring: My experience and research shows that hiring is 90 percent of the battle in getting the right fit for the role. Attention to detail and service orientation are inborn traits that are hard—maybe impossible—to train to people who don’t have them. As they say, it is easier to hire a squirrel than to train a chicken to climb a tree. It sounds like you could use some behavioral interviewing techniques. Once you find a new employee who seems to be a good fit, start with a three-month trial before going to a full time contract. This will give both you and the new hire time to assess the job and culture fit.

Onboarding: When you find that you’re always repeating yourself, it may be best to use checklists or put step-by-step instructions in writing. Create a manual accessible for new employees to review. You will also want to state your values, in writing. For example, if it is not okay for employees to gossip, this should spelled out in your values.

Use Situational Leadership® II: Our flagship product at The Ken Blanchard Companies is essentially a prescription for foolproof performance management, in which a leader provides exactly what the employee needs to be successful at any task or goal. You can read more about it here. In your case, you would need to provide consistent and repeated clear direction to help your employee succeed. Perhaps you aren’t good at that—or maybe she just can’t or won’t follow directions. In any event, this is a very worthwhile leadership model to know about.

It sounds as if you have been flying by the seat of your pants when it comes to performance management up until now. You’ll avoid trouble like this again in the future if you put some processes and systems in place to protect yourself from time sinks and embarrassments moving forward.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a VP of international sales in technology. We are a fast-paced and very lean startup, so we barely have any HR department and no employee manual yet—certainly no one who can help me with this.

I recently hired a young woman who is just great. She is smart, quick, she goes the extra mile, and she’s crushing her numbers and making friends in the organization. She is quickly becoming my secret weapon. But she has no idea how to dress.

Her taste in work clothing is wildly inappropriate. She dressed perfectly for the interview phase, but now the heels are sky high, the skirts are too short and tight, and the necklines are way too low. People’s eyes literally go wide when she walks by.

I am no fuddy-duddy. I don’t care how she dresses on her personal time. I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea about her. She is so smart and talented and I want to keep her from hurting herself professionally. But I feel the need to reel her in before clients start judging us for her lack of judgment.

What can I say and how can I say it without hurting her feelings or having her think I am somehow judging her or harassing her? I know people in the company have begun to talk about her. I need to do something about this fast.

Victoria’s Secret Not Welcome Here!

Dear Victoria’s Secret Not Welcome Here,

Well, there is some good news: she dressed appropriately for the interview, so you know she has some sense about what is suitable. You have that going for you.

You absolutely must give her feedback and make a clear request. Be clear, direct, and nonjudgmental, make a direct request, and give her a timeline for compliance. Let her know you think her work is terrific and this is not a reflection on her overall professionalism. If you have enough of a relationship, you might go so far as to note that you are partially motivated by your desire to see her succeed and grow as a professional and that you don’t want her choice of clothing to undermine others’ perceptions of her credibility and competence.

You have to have someone else with you in the meeting—preferably someone from HR, even if they are in benefits. If you really don’t have anyone, try to find a trustworthy female peer. This conversation needs to be private, but not hidden.

Your new star may very well have only one or two appropriate outfits and may be trying to get by with her regular wardrobe. Clothes are expensive, and it is time consuming to shop. You may consider offering her a wardrobe allowance so that she can get herself up to snuff quickly.

She may also be trying to express herself and build a brand, which is a thing these days. In this case you can acknowledge her strong sense of style, but say that you need to ask her to channel it. It is hard to get it right for women, but there are excellent sources for guidelines.

If you Google images of “professional attire for young women” you will find lots of helpful photos. You can suggest she find a couple of looks that suit her and build from there. You might also suggest a role model in your organization—a woman who dresses appropriately—if there is one.

Timeless rules of thumb exist for women who want to look impeccable at work. When I was first starting to work in the corporate environment, I had almost no professional clothes and I got feedback from my boss. “Your blouse has to have sleeves; your skirt needs to be no higher than 2 inches above the knee and your heels no higher than 2 inches.” I still remember it because it was so specific, and I have used it ever since. My boss was kind and nonjudgmental. I was embarrassed but I was grateful because I just didn’t know.

She may get defensive and that’s okay—just let her vent. Don’t get caught up in any drama. But you must be clear, direct, and neutral. Remind her that you are on her side and want nothing but success for her. Decide exactly what you are going to say in advance—and do not fall into the trap of discussing it. You will only get yourself into trouble. Tell her you are only going to give her this feedback once and you aren’t going to be the wardrobe police because you didn’t sign up for that job—but you expect to see some changes.

I expect this will do the trick. I sure hope so.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am about eight months into my first senior department manager position at a government agency.  I have a lot of experience in this sector and was brought in to shake things up and make some changes.  My boss literally told me that my job is to kick *ss and take names. 

After I had been on board a short while, everyone at my level underwent a 360 degree assessment—including me.  My results were terrible. 

My direct supervisor, her boss, and I had all thought I was doing really well, but my nine direct reports were brutal.  The open-ended comments were particularly mean. I have included the report for your review.

I know this is all on them, because I graduated from top schools and have had an extremely successful career so far. I took a look at the whole picture when I first took the job and I really do know exactly how to fix things—but I can’t get anyone to do what I tell them. What to do?

They Hate Me

Hi They Hate Me,

Wow.  They really do.  I have never seen results quite like this.  Clearly, your plan was to come in, decide on what changes needed to be made, and enforce all new ways of doing things.  But after reading the comments, it appears to me that you are not attempting to get any input at all from your team, who has been in the trenches for a long time.

The way I see it, you have two options:  continue the way you have been doing things—which will probably result in your needing to fire everyone and start fresh (tricky to do in a government agency); or figure out how to win hearts, minds and followership.  You simply aren’t going to succeed here unless you get your people on your side. I have written often about Power Dynamics, which explains that you are at the mercy of the fact that people can and will exercise their fundamental right to withhold cooperation.

The rest of what you need to know could easily be a book, and has been written about at length by the leadership greats.  Consider picking up The New One Minute Manager, because it boils things down simply and well.  In the meantime, here are some quick ideas for how you may improve your situation.

1. Get clear about the strategies and goals of your new regime. Spend time explaining what, how, and why to the whole team.  Get input on it all, listen carefully, and consider all ideas.
2. Publish, in writing, the final strategy and goals and once again explain the why and how.
3. Do not withhold information to use as a power tool. Share all of it.
4. Catch people doing things right, and praise publicly.
5. Re-direct when needed, in private, kindly.
6. If it doesn’t need to be said, don’t say it.
7. If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut. Never, ever call people names.
8. Remember how much power you have and how vulnerable your people (obviously) feel.

Intelligence and being right is only the ante to get into the game.  To actually win the game, you have to win people over.  This is often startling news to people—you are not alone.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

At The Ken Blanchard Companies, we define coaching as a deliberate process using focused conversations to create an environment that results in accelerated performance and development.

Let me say that again: coaching accelerates performance and development through a deliberate process of focused conversations. It doesn’t say how much time coaching should take or where coaching needs to happen. The reality is that coaching can be used on the job, in any conversation—planned or unplanned, long or short.

There is only one requirement. You must first learn, and then intentionally practice, coaching skills so that they become a permanent tool in your toolkit. A good way to begin is by using formal coaching on a regular basis.

Formal Coaching

Regularly scheduled meetings, such as one-on-ones, are a great opportunity to formally practice coaching skills. Because these meetings are planned, you can be intentional about how you show up. You can even ask the other person to let you know ahead of time what specific development topics they may want to discuss. During the meeting, you can practice getting clear agreement on a specific topic. As you explore the topic, if you recognize that the person you’re working with is capable of finding a solution, you could then use the coaching process. At that point you would intentionally avoid being directive and instead would ask open-ended questions to allow the individual to surface options and ideas.

As you continue to identify coachable moments in these formal conversations and to practice using the coaching process, you and the other person will begin to anticipate how conversations will play out. You will get into a rhythm that will really help when the need for informal coaching arises.

Informal Coaching

The coaching process and skills you use in your formal conversations are equally useful in brief, spontaneous interactions you have with people throughout your day. As with formal coaching, you slow down to get clear agreement on the focus for the conversation. Once that is established, you ask the person what their options and ideas are for moving forward. Again, if you sense the person you’re working with can find a solution on their own, avoid being directive and just ask a couple of questions to draw out their own brilliance.

Whether you are in a formal or informal coaching conversation:

• Get clear agreement/clear focus on the specific subject
• Consider this a potential growth opportunity for the other person
• Don’t jump in with solutions—instead, encourage the person you’re working with to explore their own ideas for how to move forward.

Remember: it’s about coaching with the time you have—not about how much time it takes to coach. The small investments of time involved in having focused conversations can often result in high yields.
Coaching also creates an increasing level of self-reliance. Managers who coach provide a win for the organization, a win for the person being coached, and a win for themselves! I think that’s a good thing—wouldn’t you agree?

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Eventually people get there—but it comes with a cost, says Ann Phillips, a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

“It’s one of the toughest types of issue to address because on the surface everyone’s putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay. But if you scratch a little underneath you’ll see the level of dissatisfaction that’s costing organizations billions of dollars in untapped productivity, creativity, and innovation.

The biggest problem getting in the way of managers delivering the direction and support people need is an overestimation of their current skills.  As Phillips explains, “Leaders often believe they are providing direction when they tell people to ‘Do this, and then do that, and be sure to get it done by this date,’ but that is only part of providing direction—and probably the lowest form of the behavior.”

The same is true when it comes to supportive behavior, says Phillips. “Managers feel as if they know what supportive behavior is and usually have their own ideas about what it looks like. But without instruction, most people default to behavior that consists mainly of encouragement.

“People are good at encouraging others with phrases such as, ‘You can do it. We’re glad you’re here. We believe in you. Use your best judgment.’ But they miss out on all of the other supportive behaviors that are just as important such as listening, sharing information, and facilitating self-directed problem solving.”

“So folks are good at telling people what to do and then cheerleading them on to accomplish the task. And that is the one-two, ‘I want you to do this, and I know you can handle it’ combination that most people are getting in terms of direction and support from their managers. On the surface this may seem reasonable, but it is a style that only works well for direct reports who are already accomplished at the task. For people who are new to a task or are running into problems or are unsure of themselves, it’s a style that actually hinders progress—and can be damaging to overall growth and development.”

For managers looking to increase their ability to offer direction and support for their people, Phillips has three key recommendations.

Recognize your own default settings. Most leaders are unaware that they have a default setting when it comes to leadership even though assessments show that 54% of managers use only one style when it comes to providing direction and support for their people—either Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating. Each of these styles is great if it is a match for what a direct report needs. Each is also a hindrance if it is the wrong style for the situation. 

Expand your repertoire of directive behaviors. Leaders need to think beyond just issuing directives and holding people accountable. Phillips encourages leaders to become more skillful at goal setting and putting in the time to provide day-to-day coaching as needed..

Expand your repertoire of supportive behaviors.   Leaders need to improve listening skills and be willing to share information to facilitate self-directed problem solving. This includes listening with the intent to learn, to be influenced, and to understand—not just respond. People recognize that information is power, yet many managers still try to maintain control by keeping information to themselves even though it undermines employee development.

Start today

Phillips notes that, “Managers have the ability to bring out so much more from their people. Find out where your people are at with their tasks. What do they need from you in terms of direction and support? Improve your skills in both of these areas and see what a difference it makes.”

You can learn more in the new Blanchard eBook, Why It’s Crucial for Your Leaders to Take a Situational Approach to Management. It’s available as a part of the Blanchard resource library for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals.

But there are times when using a coaching style is not appropriate—when, in fact, it can be counterproductive and cause the other person to become frustrated.

First let’s look at a couple of instances when coaching is exactly what a manager should do.

• When the team member knows what to do, but needs assurance they are on the right track.
• When the person’s task is not at a critical juncture and there is time for a little trial and error in service of their growth and development.
• When the manager feels confident the direct report has what they need to make good decisions about how to move forward.

On the flipside, managers need to know when the more open-ended, supportive style of coaching does not work. Here are some examples.

• When the task is completely new. If this is the first time the person will be completing a task or goal – regardless of whether they have lots of transferrable skills – they are a learner who needs direction.  Asking them to define what good would look like or to come up with how to get the task done can cause a deer-in-the-headlights reaction.  Additionally, it might cause them to question their ability but keep that doubt to themselves.  Neither of these situations would foster learning.  Once the direct report demonstrates an improved skill level, the manager can turn to a more coach-like style.  For those with solid transferrable skills they will likely arrive at that place fairly quickly.  For someone newer it may take more time.
• When a decision needs to be made immediately. If the stakes are high or a situation is urgent, there often isn’t time for the brainstorming or trial and error aspect of coaching.
• When the direct report is not receptive. Not everyone is coachable.  Some people are reluctant to brainstorming with their boss.  For instance, it might be very important to some to always appear to have the answers—and others may see the give and take of a coaching conversation as too touchy-feely.

There is a place for facilitating coaching conversations. When the direct report is self-reliant, coaching is a preferable style to directing. It can help direct reports move forward and may draw out new and wonderful ideas. But when the person is new to a task and really doesn’t know what to do, specific direction is a more appropriate first step. Using a coaching style in this instance would reap a minimal—or even negative—return on investment.

Determining when training and direction are more appropriate than coaching is critical. Managers should ask themselves: Does this person know what they’re doing and just need a sounding board? Or do they really need direction because the task is new?

The best leadership style to use in different circumstances is not always obvious, but with a little practice any manager can become skilled at recognizing the right time to coach.  What’s been your experience? If you have any tricks to know when to coach and when not to coach, please share!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The nature of teamwork in today’s organizations is evolving. Our research shows that both team leaders and team members have a key role to play in this evolution. As a part of our survey we asked people to identify the conditions that impact the level of effort they put into the teams they work on. (See Figure 1: My Personal Effort Depends On))

When it came to conditions that affect how much personal effort individuals put into their role as a team member, the top three statements respondents most agreed with were:

• Whether I trust the other team members
• The level of support I get from my team leader
• Whether or not team members are allowed to share opposing opinions and disagree with each other

 Figure 1: My Personal Effort Depends On 

Implications for Leadership, Learning, and Talent Development Professionals

The amount of support a team receives also impacts overall effectiveness. The survey found that the highest performing teams enjoy greater levels of support in general, as well as higher levels of training for both team members and team leaders. (See figure 2.)

Figure 2: Training and Support

For organizations looking to improve team training, Dr. Eunice Parisi-Carew, a founding partner and teams expert with The Ken Blanchard Companies, suggests training and development professionals be proactive and model an inclusive learning attitude.

“Involve others in crafting a clear purpose, as well as values and goals, for your teams. Have leaders follow through by reinforcing what was agreed upon, demonstrating supportive behaviors, and walking the talk,” she explains.

“Talk openly. Create an environment of safety and trust where people are comfortable speaking out about improving team performance without worrying about upsetting the status quo.

“Take action. Some leaders need to learn how to let go. Don’t wait for someone else to decide it’s time to collaborate—everyone is responsible for creating a collaborative environment.”

When people are busy, it’s normal for them to want to focus on getting their individual work done. To combat this urge, Parisi-Carew reminds us of an old adage: “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

You can learn more about the results of the Blanchard/Training magazine survey by accessing the full article in the July/August issue. After studying the survey results, training and development professionals will have not only a target to shoot for but also recommended first steps to take as they look to create or enhance team training programs in their organizations.

I am a senior leader in a large commercial services organization. I spent many years learning how to make good use of an assistant and I’ve always made sure I had a great one. Over the last few years, the company has been reducing the size of the administration group and I have had to share an assistant with other executives. That was okay because I was self-sufficient, had my act together, and would set things up so my stuff always got done.

Until now. Two other executives and I were recently given a new assistant and he is a walking disaster.

He doesn’t write things down, he doesn’t remember anything, and he doesn’t seem to understand the most basic office software—for example, I had to teach him some basic calendaring skills and then he didn’t remember. Some days I think he is on some kind of drug because he is so laid back and spaced out.

My problem is I have started to take back all the tasks I would usually delegate, which is adding an extra 90 minutes to my already packed days. Why not just go to HR and replace him, you ask? He is the nephew of the CEO and sucks up shamelessly to the other two executives, who don’t really know how to use an assistant so they don’t really care that he is incompetent.

I need help! What do you think?

My Assistant is Terrible

Dear My Assistant is Terrible,

Wow—I am so sorry. I tell my clients all the time that they are only as good as their assistant, so I can certainly understand your predicament. It sounds like you are dealing with a bunch of different issues here—and one of them is political.

Your first line of defense is to sit down with your new assistant, explain what a good job looks like, and create a step-by-step plan for him to get up to speed. Be kind and patient—we can’t have nephew Fred reporting negative things about you. Document each and every interaction, task, and goal, every dropped ball, every instance of incompetence. You might be surprised that he is not the numb nut you think he is when he has proper direction. On the other hand, if he IS what you think he is, you will have flawless documentation to support your case. The most entrenched nepotism can’t ignore terrible performance, but you must have your documentation.

In the meantime, do meet with HR to lodge your initial complaint and let them know what you are doing. You can ask nicely to be reassigned to a real assistant as well. Are there any terrific assistants working for others? Maybe get yourself moved to one of them. You might also make the case for needing your own full-time assistant if you can show how much more you produce when you have the right kind of help. That 90 minutes a day adds up to more than a week’s work each month—and goodness knows what else you could be doing with that 45 hours. One more option, and I know this sounds nuts but I have seen it done: consider hiring a virtual assistant outside of the organization and paying for that person yourself. It may be impossible because it would require access to calendars and email, so the organization would have to approve, but there may be a variation on the idea that could work.

Don’t despair. If the nepotism situation is as out of control as you think, your guy will be promoted soon. If it isn’t, he will be gone, and you will still have your reputation.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?

Each of these one-word questions can push organizational leaders and their team members toward the clarity they need to achieve success. In this post I’d like to focus on who and what.

When leaders set clear expectations, outcomes are much more likely to hit the mark. And it’s just as important for leaders to set milestones en route to the outcome. Doing so keeps people on track by helping them get the support and redirection they need when they need it, which sets them up for success so that they do their best work and hit their deadlines.

At this point it is helpful for a coach to ask what questions, such as:

• What are we trying to accomplish?
• What is the scope?
• What will it cover?
• What is left out?
• What are we not doing?

Stating clear expectations, however, is just the start. The next step is for leaders to create clear agreements with others about what is expected. This is where who questions come into play. Let me share a recent example.

I coached a leader who acknowledged that when setting expectations, her team often sees things differently than she does. So instead of just addressing what, she also expands her discussions with team members by including who questions. Some great who questions include:

• Who will be responsible for what?
• Who will talk to whom?
• Who will report to whom?
• Who will follow up with whom?
• Who will be left holding the bag?

By using both what and who questions, leaders can provide better clarity, accountability, and agreement—all of which provide the foundation for shared success!

Rather than be annoyed with team members, or just doing the work yourself, consider how a combination of what and who questions can help you fill the gap between your perspective and the perspective of others to provide clarity and shared agreement.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

There are always recommendations for best summer reading and the lists usually point to fiction best-sellers. 

Any suggestions for top business books? 

I love a good novel but I also want to keep developing my skills.

Business Minded

Dear Business Minded,

There are so many great development focused books out there. I wrote a series of four blog posts earlier this year identifying some of the best in four categories. Take a look at the links below.  I know you’ll find a title that will pique your interest and keep you growing!

9 Books About Coaching, Chosen by Coaches

I asked a select group of coaches their picks for the best books about coaching.

12 Books NOT About Coaching, Chosen by Coaches

I went out to my network again and asked people what books—not about coaching—have made the biggest difference for them as a coach.

8 Top Leadership Books, Chosen by Madeleine

My son was an intern at The Ken Blanchard Companies last summer when he asked me “What do you think is the best book on leadership?” Here’s the list that came out of that question.

7 Best Books on Neuroscience, Chosen by Madeleine

Neuroscience has entered the coaching and leadership development conversation in a big way. This is a short list of books that will help you get up to speed.

I think these great reads should get you through the summer! Please let me know your favorites!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

A visionary/direction, or strategic, role—the leadership aspect of servant leadership; and

An implementation, or operational, role—the servant aspect of servant leadership.

The visionary role involves establishing a compelling vision that tells people who you are (your purpose), where you’re going (your picture of the future), and what will guide your journey (your values).

When Walt Disney started his theme parks, he was clear on his purpose. He didn’t say “We’re in the theme park business,” he said “We’re in the happiness business.” Why the distinction? Because being in the happiness business helps keep Disney cast members (employees) aware of the company’s primary goal.

Disney’s clear purpose for his theme parks also helps his people understand the company’s picture of the future, which is “To keep the same smile on people’s faces when they leave the park as when they entered.” After all, they are in the happiness business!

The final aspect of establishing a compelling vision for Disney theme parks was to identify values that would guide staff and management on their journey. Disney parks have four rank-ordered values, called the Four Keys: safety, courtesy, the show, and efficiency. Why is safety the highest ranked value? Walt Disney knew if a guest was carried out on a stretcher, that person would not have the same smile on their face leaving the park that they had when they entered.

The traditional hierarchical pyramid is effective here in the leadership aspect of servant leadership. People look to their organizational leaders for vision and direction. While these leaders may involve others in the process, the ultimate responsibility remains with the leaders to establish a compelling vision and define strategic initiatives for their people to focus on.

After the vision and direction are set, it’s time to turn the organizational pyramid upside down and focus on implementation—the servant aspect of servant leadership. Nordstrom excels at this. Their leaders work for their people—and now the focus and the energy flows toward the customer, not toward leadership. This one change in mindset makes all the difference. Nordstrom’s servant leaders help their people live according to the company’s vision, solve problems, and achieve their goals.

Our daughter, Debbie, worked at Nordstrom when she was in college. After she had been there about a week, I asked her how the job was going.

She said, “It’s going well, Dad, but I have a really strange boss.”

“Oh?” I said.

“At least three times a day, he says to me, ‘Debbie, is there any way I can help you?’ He acts like he works for me.”

“He does,” I said to Debbie. “That’s the Nordstrom philosophy—they’re all about serving rather than being served.”

For years, Nordstrom employees were given a card with just 75 words printed on it. It read:

Welcome to Nordstrom

We’re glad to have you with our Company. Our number one goal is to provide outstanding customer service. Set both your personal and professional goals high. We have great confidence in your ability to achieve them.

Nordstrom Rules: Rule #1: Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.

Please feel free to ask your department manager, store manager, or division general manager any question at any time.

I love to tell the story about a friend of mine who went to Nordstrom to get some perfume for his wife.

The salesperson said, “I’m sorry; we don’t sell that brand in our store. But I know where I can get it. How long will you be in the store?”

“About 30 minutes,” he said.

“Fine. I’ll go get it, bring it back, gift wrap it, and have it ready for you when you leave.”

That’s exactly what she did. And she charged him the same price she had paid at the other store. Nordstrom didn’t make any money on the deal, but what did they make? A raving fan customer.

So you see, servant leadership isn’t a strange concept at all. Large organizations like Disney and Nordstrom have been practicing it for years and doing pretty well. How about you and your company? Give servant leadership a try—you’ll be surprised at how it will help you achieve great relationships and great results.

Drawing on some of the key points from his book, Finkelstein explores the different ways managers of all personality types bring out the best in people.

He discusses the importance of seeing people as individuals and the need for leaders to customize how they work with each person.

Finkelstein also addresses the challenge of delegation.  He explains that Superbosses don’t delegate and forget.  They roll up their sleeves on a day-to-day basis to help direct and support the work along the way.

Finally, Finkelstein looks at how a paradoxical approach to management works best. Through examples of leaders at a wide variety of companies, the author points out how Superbosses maintain a dual focus on people and results, collaboration and competition, and creating a performance culture while inspiring their people.

Finkelstein encourages leaders to bring out the best in people.  Good leaders come in all shapes and sizes.  Although they all have different personalities and mindsets, they can share similar techniques and outcomes. Discover the impact one leader can have.  When you help others, you help yourself and your organization.

Be sure to listen to the very end of the podcast, where Ken Blanchard shares his thoughts and key takeaways on the concepts Sydney Finkelstein discusses in the interview.

But most organizations only focus on one half of that partnering equation, says Susan Fowler, a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

“Managing the performance of two or three direct reports is challenging enough,” says Fowler. “But for managers who have seven or more people reporting to them, it becomes critical to have direct reports skilled in asking for what they need to succeed.”

Goal setting, identifying the amount of direction and support needed, and learning how to ask for a certain leadership style are key components built into the new Self Leadership training program Fowler helped design for The Ken Blanchard Companies. The new program teaches the skills of Situational Leadership® II (SLII®)—the company’s world-renowned leadership model—from a self leader’s perspective.

“Our intent is to equip the self leader with a parallel understanding of the same SLII® model their manager uses, so that true partnering can happen between them. The energy that gets sparked when people are speaking the same language leads to real results,” says Fowler.

“With a top-down only approach, even leaders with the best of intentions are sharing the SLII® model from their own perspective. While helpful, the opportunity that’s lost is teaching individual contributors the mindset or the skillset required to put it into action. If the leader is the only one who knows the model, how do the manager and individual come to agreement on development level? Armed with the skill of self-diagnosis, individuals can effectively reflect their interpretation of their own competence and commitment. A manager may diagnose me being at the self-reliant achiever level of development, not realizing that I’ve regressed to the capable but cautious level of development. But, if I know the language and have the skill to proactively conduct a conversation about how my needs have changed, everyone wins.”

Organizations invest a substantial amount of time and money teaching their leaders the Situational Leadership® II model. From Fowler’s perspective, it only makes sense to leverage that investment by investing in the other half of the equation.

“Leadership is a two-sided coin. When you invest in both sides, you create something truly valuable. Most HR professionals and leaders would admit that training individual contributors makes sense, but only recently has academic research validated the wisdom of not neglecting individual contributors. Hopefully the C-suite is waking up to the opportunity losses that come from investing in a one-sided coin.”

Fowler is confident that as more and more organizations adopt this dual approach, others will see the benefits—and training in self leadership will spread from early adopters to become commonplace in every industry.

“The research shows that self leadership matters. The proactive behavior of individual contributors is the essential ingredient in the success or failure of organizational initiatives. The research also concludes that self leadership skills are teachable.

“We want to help organizations leverage the money, time, and effort that they have already put into leadership training by extending training to individual contributors. Blanchard’s own impact studies have proven that when organizations train self leaders, they experience measurable increases in retention, productivity, and customer satisfaction scores. More importantly, it’s the right thing to do. The only way your organization succeeds if when your people succeed.”

PS: Would you like to learn more about taking a dual approach to leadership development?  Fowler is conducting a webinar on June 21, Taking a Top-Down, Bottom-Up Approach to Leadership. The event is free courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior manager in what is essentially a call center. I am hoping you can help me. I am too nice. 

I am a giver; I come from a long line of nice, generous givers. My Mom ran a dentist’s office and headed several volunteer committees, headed up events at our church and was forever dropping off casseroles for someone in the neighborhood who was having a crisis. 

People were always calling her and asking for help, money, favors. And while it irked me watching people take advantage of her sweet, patient generosity, I have somehow turned into her. People are taking advantage of me at work and in my personal life. 

The result is that I am a worn down frazzled wreck. I am exhausted all the time. I am neglecting the people I really care about, and certainly myself. My friends tell me that I need to have boundaries and say no, but I just don’t know how to do it. Help?

Worn Out

Dear Worn Out,

Givers are critical to communities and organizations, so on the behalf of humanity, I thank you.  And, I hear your pain and I have the prescription for you. Dr. Henry Cloud literally wrote the book on this: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life and you should get it STAT.

It is written specifically for Christians, but it works even if you aren’t Christian. Dr. Cloud helps people understand how to manage in a culture that encourages people to be nice and giving.

Having trouble with boundaries is often tied to deep seated psychological needs paired with strongly held values and requires more expertise, time and space to address than I can offer in a short blog post.  Dr. Cloud’s book will help you understand what is driving your behavior, and offer tips to help you overcome your resistance to changing it.  I can however, offer a couple of tactical tips that you might think about trying out immediately.

From this moment on don’t say “yes.”  To anything.  You don’t have to say no, not yet, that is the advanced class.  But when someone–anyone– asks you to do something, say “maybe, let me check my schedule and my commitments,” or “I would love to help out, let me think about it, check with my boss, discuss with my spouse…” Then say:  “Please check back with me next week and I will let you know.”  You may not want to do this with your boss, but you certainly can with anyone else.  This last part is important because it keeps the responsibility for follow up on the requestor – it isn’t one more thing you have to remember to do.

Make a list of what is most important to you and put everything in priority order.  Here is an example I have seen from others.

1. My Spouse and Kids
2. My Faith
3. My Parents
4. My Health & Well being
5. My Career

I personally have struggled and don’t always succeed at putting my own health and well being in the top three but I highly recommend that you try it.  Every time you help someone else, you are actually putting their needs before your own and causing more stress in your life. You need to ask yourself the hard question—are they worth it? You may be surprised that many of the people you go out of your way to help are at the bottom of your list, or not actually even on it.

Every time you consider something someone has asked you to do, check your other commitments to determine what is most important to you and see if you can fit it in.  Chances are you can’t without compromising your commitments to what you have said is at the top of your list.  Put your list on post it notes and place them everywhere you hang out, as a constant reminder.  This is just something to think about for now, when you start your serious work on boundaries, it will come in handy.

Reset expectations. You have trained untold amounts of people to believe that you will jump immediately to help them.  You will need to re-train them, and they will resist. Start by getting time on your side. Do not pick up the phone unless it is someone on your list.  Do not respond to texts right away from anyone not on your list.  Do not even open emails from someone not on your list except for at designated moments in your work day.  Take a deep breath, choose to do something that is a priority and move along.

If you put some time and space between yourself and the person who needs your immediate help, they will almost always find somebody else to help them by the time you loop back to them.

Repeat to yourself “I am not an infinite resource.” Remember, nobody is going to be served if you end up in the hospital with a case of whatever from wearing yourself down.

You are going to have to make some hard changes – get Dr. Cloud’s book or any other book on this topic and get to work. I am rooting for you Worn Out, truly I am.  You are an amazing, kind, and generous person.  You are also an endangered species that must be protected.  We need more people like you in the world, so please treat yourself like the precious resource you are.

Love,

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Drawing on some of the key points from the new revised and updated edition of her acclaimed Wall Street Journal bestseller, Wiseman explores why some leaders, whom she calls diminishers, drain capability and intelligence from their teams while others, multipliers, amplify it to produce better results.

Wiseman explains that leading others begins by leading self.  She shares stories from her early work career where she learned that she did her best work when she was being challenged and felt she was a little bit in over her head.

Wiseman also shares some of the top questions she has been asked since the initial release of the first edition of Multipliers. She discusses some of the ways to bring out the best in others—while avoiding diminishers—and especially how to avoid being an accidental diminisher yourself.

Wiseman’s advice to leaders is to be a multiplier of people by seeing your job as helping to bring out the potential in each person.  Accidental diminishing happens when well-meaning managers unknowingly micromanage or rescue their people and deprive them of a chance to learn and grow.

Be sure to listen to the very end of the interview to hear Ken Blanchard’s takeaways—what he learned and will remember from the interview.

Let’s give a nod to the great political leaders whose journeys of provoking and leading change on a massive scale provide worthwhile leadership lessons: King Solomon, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King, Jr., to name a mere handful.

Then we have to acknowledge the modern writers on leadership specifically: Drucker, Bennis, Maxwell, Blanchard.

But this is about the leadership books that have made the biggest difference for coaches. I have asked several of our Blanchard coaches and many of my peers, and here are the results:

Tony Klingmeyer, one of our Blanchard Master coaches, chose Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. Tony says “It is wonderfully written, about many of the dilemmas and paradoxes our clients face when leading in organizations.” In this short and sweet book, Farson details the complexities of navigating human beings and debunks some well meaning management advice.

Renee Freedman, MCC, former director of The SupporTED Coaching Program, says her favorite book is The Leadership Dojo by Richard Heckler Strozzi. Renee says “Although there is much great guidance here, two primary things about this book sucked me in and made me fall in love with it: 1) it treats leadership as a somatic experience and that’s how I experience it; and 2) it has a 5-step leadership process of entering, centering, facing, extending, and blending—which I find extremely simple, effective, and trainable. It changed leadership for me from believing that only 1% of people can lead to understanding that anyone can lead, including me!”

Ann Marie Heidingsfelder picked Wooden on Leadership: How to Create a Winning Organization by John Wooden.

Many coaches on a recent webinar chose Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. It is essentially the application of the concepts of emotional intelligence to leadership. How many clients really need to understand the fundamentals of self awareness, self regulation, awareness of others, and modifying self to be more effective with others? All of them.

Then there’s Leadership BS by Jeffrey Pfeffer. A recent addition to the canon, I personally love the devil’s advocate position the author takes against some of the baloney being peddled by leadership companies out there. No nonsense, brass tacks, and really useful for coaches helping clients navigate the insanity of the global business world. My particular favorite moment is when the author debunks the notion that leaders need to be “authentic.” This book is validating for natural subversives and required reading for idealists.

Why Smart Executives Fail by Sydney Finkelstein is one of my all time favorites and should be required reading for anyone aspiring to senior leadership—and those who coach them. You might think because it came out in 2003 that it is obsolete, but you would be wrong. Finkelstein examines some of the whopping business failures and teases out the mistakes that were made. These lessons are timeless. But my favorite chapter is “The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful People.” Just the title makes me laugh out loud.

Another great book is Coaching for Leadership by Goldsmith, Lyons, and McArthur. This one is kind of a no-brainer, because it is an anthology with writings from leadership and coaching experts with extremely targeted practical advice for all kinds of situations (understanding purpose, gender differences, working cross generationally and culturally, etc.). Of course, Goldsmith’s entire body of work is must-know—particularly What Got You Here Won’t Get You There—but this is a different resource altogether.

Finally, a crowd favorite: Leadership and Self-Deception from The Arbinger Institute. A fairly fast and easy read that outlines the effects of self-deception and how to fix it. The fundamental premise is that when we behave in ways that do not match our values, we betray ourselves.

How does that match up with your list? Any books you’d add? Just include them in the comments section!

Dear Madeleine,

I work in an open environment type of setting, and for the most part it works. I manage a large team and I recently hired a new team member. She interviewed well and had great references, but now that she is settled in she never shuts up and we are all going insane.

You can’t ask her how she is because she will stop and tell you in exhaustive detail. She gets going and can’t stop. We all know more about her parents, her siblings, her cat, and the guy who just apparently dumped her (we all know why!) than we want to.

Anyone within earshot cringes when she starts talking—and that is a lot of people.

Everyone avoids her now, including me. I try to have regular one on ones with her, but I can’t seem to get them done unless I have an hour and half. She can’t just answer a question—she has to give the whole back story, going back to how a customer reminds her of her second grade teacher.

She gets her job done, but she is driving us all nuts and every single person on my team looks at me pleadingly with “do something” in their eyes. I know I have to do something, but what?

She Never Shuts Up

Dear She Never Shuts Up,

I am sorry for you. I am sorry for your team. Most of all, I am sorry for your chatty employee. Generally, people who are that oblivious to social cues are in the grip of some huge need that they are not able to get met. She might be going through some kind of personal crisis that has thrown her off balance, or perhaps she has always been this way and no one has ever told her she needs to cut it out.

I am sorry for you because you are the one who’s going to have to either do something or risk losing the respect of your team. It stinks. I think you need to go at it head on—don’t soft-pedal or pull any punches. This is one of those extremely difficult personal things you have to deal with as a manager. It will require all of your courage, patience, and kindness. And you may not be able to fix the situation.

Set up a meeting with your chatter box, maybe in another part of the building or at the end of the day. This conversation is going to be hard enough without an audience.

Before you go into the conversation, get very clear on your motives for giving the feedback. Are you making a suggestion that she change her behavior for her own good, or are you making a non-negotiable request? When people get defensive they have a hard time hearing, so it will be up to you to be brutally honest and crystal clear. Consider supporting yourself with some kind of process. I am a big fan of Susan Scott’s process outlined in her book Fierce Conversations.

1. Name the Issue – She simply talks too much, shares too much personal information, and goes on sharing long past the point where people are interested. Make sure you are clear that it isn’t personal, and that you want her to be successful and will support her in changing her behavior.
2. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change – It’s a good idea to have 2 or 3 examples.
3. Describe your emotion about this issue – You are avoiding her because every interaction takes longer than it needs to, you find it distracting, and you don’t want to be mean but you are going crazy.
4. Clarify what is at stake – Be very clear about this—are you going to let her go if she doesn’t change? It sounds like you might have to. Also let her know that this behavior may impact her future career no matter where she ends up. You might mention the long term ramifications of her inability to read when people’s eyes glaze over.
5. Identify your contribution to this problem – Is it possible you have let this go on too long? You should own that you have taken too long to say something, if that is the case.
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the issue – and be specific about what “resolved” looks like to you. This is critical and will provide both of you with a measure so that you will both know the fix is successful. If she stops the verbal barrage, what will that look like? Really paint the picture of what a good job looks like—give her examples of appropriate ways to respond to questions like “how are you?” and “what did you do over the weekend?” Be clear that the problem is that she doesn’t realize when she has lost people’s interest. For many people, when they notice they’ve lost someone’s interest, they keep talking to try to get it back—which is of course, the worst thing she can do.
7. Invite her to respond. Chances are she will be stunned, so be ready for her to be defensive and upset. She may start talking and not be able to stop. You will need to be prepared for that. You will need to put your hand up and say “stop.” She may reveal that she has heard this feedback before but doesn’t know what to do about it. So you will want to offer her help and solutions. There are plenty of good articles with tips out there. This is not an uncommon problem. Maybe print out some articles with some suggestions. If at all possible, you might be ready to offer her a coach to work with on this one thing. Perhaps your organization offers counseling through the employee assistance program.

If you have a strong HR group, get some support from someone there as well so that you will be extra prepared. Practice what you are going to say and be ready to repeat the same things several times. And for love of Pete, don’t let your discomfort drive you off track to a place where you end up babbling! Be a role model for clarity and brevity.

Best case scenario: she hears you, gets it, and gets to work changing a terrible habit. She might even thank you some day (but probably not). Worst case scenario: she is mortally offended and quits. Either way, you will have stepped up and done your job.

Good luck to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“Think about your best boss,” asks coaching expert Madeleine Blanchard. “Your best boss is a person who helped you to deliver phenomenal performance, but they also helped you to really grow and develop yourself.”

In a short video interview Blanchard explains that, “Managers who have no idea how to use coaching skills, or use a coach-approach with their people, tend to be very task-focused and very transactional—which is fine—the job gets done. But they don’t retain their people and they don’t get the kind of engagement and discretionary energy that we are all looking for in our organizations.”

One of the biggest challenges is feedback.

“The hardest thing for most managers is giving the hard feedback. It’s saying, ‘This is good but it needs to be better.’  It is so hard for people because they are afraid of damaging the relationship or de-motivating people.”

In a new Coaching Essentials program, Blanchard and coauthor Linda Miller teach managers to build relationships and earn the right to give the hard feedback—and then learn ways to say what needs to be said without being terrified.

Blanchard and Miller’s approach is to teach a mindset, a coaching process, and a skill set—three main things that managers and leaders need to know to build trust, improve workplace positivity, and boost employee work passion.

A new eBook by The Ken Blanchard Companies shares the four essential skills and a four-phased coach-approach for activating the conversation process.

To learn more, download a free copy of the eBook here.

Trust and empower employees. Respondents identified they look for leaders who believe in them enough to trust them with significant responsibilities and to empower them to use their experience and knowledge. As one respondent put it, “When my manager trusts me, it makes me want to do an extremely good job so I don’t let her down and so that trust increases.”

Provide regular feedback to everyone. Respondents indicated a strong desire for positive feedback when it is deserved—for example, when they show advances in learning a new task or when they offer ideas that benefit their company. They also want to know when they make mistakes or do things wrong. The important caveat? They want the person giving the feedback to respect them as someone who wants to grow and improve.

Make sure goals and expectations are clearly stated—and hold people accountable for achieving outcomes. Survey participants identified that they want leaders to hold them accountable but they don’t want surprises. As one respondent put it, “People don’t like surprises, so managers should make expectations clear up front.” Another survey respondent said, “When the manager explains goals, the employee can take ownership.”

Be open to hearing new ideas and input from everyone. As one respondent stated, “When managers listen to people’s ideas, energy levels can soar. It makes employees feel important and valued.” Respondents also indicated that Millennials want active, involved leadership, a feeling of collaborative teamwork, and unstructured access to information. Implicit in this finding is that information and ideas flow in both directions—from manager to employee and from employee to manager.

Do not micromanage. One respondent noted, “Leaders need to trust their people to do their jobs, but they also need to be available for help when needed—such as when an employee is new in a task.” One key point that came out of the research: the majority of those surveyed expressed a desire to be allowed space for trial and error. This allows the employee freedom to learn from mistakes while having their manager nearby to ward off larger problems.

The report highlights that the growing Millennial generation of workers is looking for clear definitions of expectations, regular feedback, and a receptive ear by managers about their ideas. They do not want to feel micromanaged, but trusted and empowered. They embrace transparency from their managers and want the opportunity to contribute.

You can access the complete report, Millennials in the Workplace: How Do Managers Inspire Them? at the Blanchard website. It contains additional analysis as well as advice for Gen Xers and Boomers, and is available free of charge courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

However, encouragement and recognition shouldn’t be a once-a-year event—it ought to be a leader’s constant mindset, according to Ken Blanchard, management expert and coauthor of The New One Minute Manager® and Leading at a Higher Level. In Blanchard’s opinion, the most effective leaders focus on serving the needs of their people all year long.

Blanchard’s belief is that organizations run best when leaders at all levels see themselves as servant leaders. As he explains, “The best leaders turn the organizational pyramid upside down so that they are at the bottom of the structure, serving their people who are at the top. The leaders provide support, remove obstacles, and act as cheerleaders. They are there to serve their people—so that their people can better serve their customers.”

The good news is that leaders at all levels can serve their direct reports at an individual, team, or department level. Blanchard explains a step-by step process.

Get clear on goals. “All good performance begins with clear goals. Make sure that individual, team, department, and organizational goals are clear and written down so that they can be seen, communicated, and referred to frequently. Goals are too often unclear, poorly communicated, not written down, or never referred to until performance review. “

Discuss competence and commitment. “Managers must sit down with their teams to discuss what’s required to achieve each goal. In Situational Leadership® II we teach that people approach each new task or goal from one of four development levels: the Enthusiastic Beginner, where an individual is excited but inexperienced at the task; the Disillusioned Learner, where an individual becomes discouraged; the Capable but Cautious Performer, where an individual has some experience but still needs occasional support; or the Self-Reliant Achiever, where an individual has a track record of success. It takes time to make this diagnosis at the beginning of a task or when setting a goal, but it will save time in the long run by avoiding misunderstandings, motivation issues, and rework.”

Match your leadership style. “Depending on a person’s development level on a specific task or goal, the leader provides a matching leadership style—either by Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating. The objective is to provide the direct report with the correct amount of direction and support to get the job done while avoiding over-supervision or under-supervision. This is the essence of servant leadership. The focus is on helping direct reports achieve their goals.”

Blanchard encourages leaders to practice a servant leadership mindset with direct reports every day, not just at year end. “Your job as a leader is to help your people succeed. Set clear goals with them, diagnose their development level on each goal, and then provide them with the direction and support they need to achieve those goals. It’s the best way to serve your people—not just now, but throughout the year.”

You can read more about Blanchard’s approach in the December issue of Ignite!  Also check out stories on two companies putting these concepts into practice with great results—CHG Healthcare Services and WD-40 Company.

In the podcast, Garry shares key principles from the book and how he has put them into practice over the past ten years at WD-40 with remarkable impact.

It all starts with goal setting—a conversation focused on getting where you want to go—and it is a shared responsibility between the manager and direct report.

In Garry’s opinion, the annual performance review process is broken.  Why wait until the end of the year?  Coaching, development, and feedback should be an everyday conversation between leader and direct report.  Garry describes how to change people’s mindsets so mistakes become learning moments—and how this shift not only helps drive out fear but also increases learning.

Garry shares 12 principles that L&D professionals can use to impact training and development as well as employee engagement. Garry walks his talk—and the results are impressive. At WD-40, employee engagement numbers are in excess of 90%. What’s more, compounded shareholder annual income growth has been over 15% per year for the past 14 years—and over 20% for the past 5 years.

Ridge describes how a focus on values, learning, teaching, growth, and community can lead to enhanced performance by helping people step into the best version of themselves.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his thoughts and personal takeaways on Garry’s ideas. Ken shares how success is based on not only what happens in the classroom but also what happens afterward. Ken takes a look at the performance review process and illustrates how important it is to focus on providing people ongoing feedback instead of sorting them into a normal distribution curve.

Listen to the podcast here:

Dear Madeleine,

I am the manager of a large group of service professionals. Earlier this year, I was inspired by a management book to set goals with my people and then give them the autonomy to decide how to achieve them.

It sounded good on paper, but here we are at the end of the year and not a single one of them has done well on their goals. As a result, I have given them all less than stellar ratings on their performance reviews. They are all surprised and upset with me.  —Confused

Dear Confused,

Managing people is complex, and managing high level professionals is maybe even more so.  So I checked out the book you shared and I think I know what went wrong.  You gave people goals and the autonomy to figure out how to achieve them—but you seem to have missed the rest of the steps outlined in the book, which go something like this:

• Work with each employee to identify actions that will be most likely to move them toward achieving their goal.
• Create a visible scorecard that shows both you and the employee how they are tracking to their goal.
• Meet weekly to review progress, brainstorm obstacles, and inspire the employee to stick with the plan.

In other words, you should give people enough autonomy that they feel like they own the goal—but not so much that the goal falls off the to-do list without anyone noticing.

There a lot of reasons people don’t achieve their goals. The most common ones are shockingly simple:

• They didn’t really know what to do or how to do it
• They didn’t really want to do it
• They didn’t think it was a good goal
• They didn’t think it was that important and prioritized other things above it
• They had too many other things to do
• They simply forgot

That last one is my personal favorite because it has happened to me.  I sat down with my manager to review the year and he asked how things went with a project we had discussed some months back.  I was appalled to realize that I had forgotten all about it and had done absolutely nothing.  I was lucky to have an understanding manager who also took some responsibility for the fact that we hadn’t talked about it since that first discussion.

Just think, for a moment, about what competes for our brain space on any given day.  Anything that actually gets done only does so because of relentless attention and focus to ensure that it does.  Otherwise, the goal might as well not exist.

I am sorry you are now in the position of feeling like the bad guy.  I recommend that you not give your people a bad rating on this part of their review—and that you take responsibility for essentially setting them up to fail.  Try the same approach this year, but include the part about working with each person to identify action steps, build the scorecard, and have regular reviews to check progress and offer support.

I’m certain that when you incorporate the additional steps, your people will come through with flying colors.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

The most shared topics include coaching tips for leaders, biggest mistakes, and “the #1 thing I’d wish I known before becoming a manager.” A great cross section of advice. Be sure to check each out—and maybe share with the people you know also!

The Number One Thing I Wish I’d Known BEFORE Becoming a Manager

By Randy Conley

Becoming a manager for the first time is a significant career milestone. It is both exciting and nerve-wracking stepping into a role where you are now responsible for others and not just yourself. If that’s you, a new manager, remember the number one priority.

What Is The Biggest Mistake Leaders Make When Working with Others? (Infographic)

By David Witt

It is essential for new managers to develop good communication skills as they step into their first leadership roles. Becoming skilled in each of these areas not only helps new managers get off to a great start but also can help them succeed for years to come. How are your managers doing in these critical areas?

8 Personal Qualities for Success: A Coach’s Perspective

By Madeleine Blanchard

With focus, assistance from others, and a disciplined, patient, persistent approach, a coach can help a client attack each component and stay with the job as long as it takes. And a little pinch of luck never hurts!

10 Ways Leaders Aren’t Making Time for their Team Members (Infographic)

By David Witt

Researchers from The Ken Blanchard Companies teamed up with Training magazine to poll 456 human resource and talent-management professionals. The purpose was to determine whether established best practices were being leveraged effectively.

Four Tips for Being Fully Present with People

By Terry Watkins

When you are fully present with team members, you listen more deeply and also from a curiosity perspective. As a result, team members—like clients—feel heard, understood, and acknowledged. This leads to people feeling safe and secure in their partnership with you. It also increases trust.

Frankenboss

With Halloween just four days away, I told my wife that I wanted to write an article about the bad, clueless behaviors that make a leader a “Frankenboss” (see definition above). Sadly enough, it only took us about 3 minutes to brainstorm the following list. If any of these describe your leadership style, you might want to take a look in the mirror and examine the face that’s peering back at you…you might have bolts growing out the sides of your neck.

You might be a Frankenboss if you…

1. Lose your temper – Some leaders think by yelling or cursing at employees they are motivating them. Baloney! Losing your temper only shows a lack of maturity and self-control. There’s no room for yelling and screaming in today’s workplace. Our society has finally awoken to the damaging effects of bullying in our school system so why should it be any different at work? No one should have to go to work and fear getting reamed out by their boss. If you have troubles controlling your temper then do something to fix it.

2. Don’t follow through on your commitments – One of the quickest ways to erode trust with your followers is to not follow through on commitments. As a leader, your people look to you to see what behavior is acceptable. If you have a habit of not following through on your commitments, it sends an unspoken message to your team that it’s OK for them to not follow through on their commitments either.

3. Don’t pay attention, multi-task, or aren’t “present” in meetings – Some studies say that body language accounts for 50-70% of communication. Multi-tasking on your phone, being preoccupied with other thoughts and priorities, or simply exhibiting an attitude of boredom or impatience in meetings, sends the message to your team that you’d rather be any place else than meeting with them. It’s rude and disrespectful to your team to act that way. If you can’t be fully engaged and devote the time and energy needed to meet with your team, then be honest with them and work to arrange your schedule so you can give them 100% of your focus. They deserve it.

4. Are driven by your Ego – The heart of leadership is about giving, not receiving. Self-serving leaders may be successful in the short-term, but they won’t be able to create a sustainable followership over time. I’m not saying it isn’t important for leaders to have a healthy self-esteem, because if you don’t, it’s going to be hard to generate the self-confidence needed to lead assertively. But there is a difference between self-confidence and egoism. Ken Blanchard likes to say that selfless leaders don’t think less of themselves, they just think about themselves less.

5. Avoid conflict – Successful leaders know how to effectively manage conflict in their teams. Conflict in and of itself is not a bad thing, but our culture tends to have a negative view of conflict and dismisses the benefits of creativity, better decision-making, and innovation that it can bring. Frankenbosses tend to either completely avoid conflict by sweeping issues under the rug, or they go to the extreme by making a mountain out of every molehill. Good leaders learn how to diagnose the situation at hand and use the appropriate conflict management style.

6. Don’t give feedback – Your people need to know how they’re performing, both good and bad. A hallmark of trusted leaders is their open communication style. They share information about themselves, the organization, and they keep their employees apprised of how they’re performing. Meeting on a quarterly basis to review the employee’s goals and their progress towards attaining those goals is a good performance management practice. It’s not fair to your employees to give them an assignment, never check on how they’re doing, and then blast them with negative feedback when they fail to deliver exactly what you wanted. It’s Leadership 101 – set clear goals, provide the direction and support the person needs, provide coaching and feedback along the way, and then celebrate with them when they achieve the goal.

7. Micromanage – Ugh…even saying the word conjures up stress and anxiety. Micromanaging bosses are like dirty diapers – full of crap and all over your a**. The source of micromanagement comes from several places. The micromanager tends to think their way is the best and only way to do the task, they have control issues, they don’t trust others, and generally are not good at training, delegating, and letting go of work. Then they spend their time re-doing the work of their subordinates until it meets their unrealistic standards and they go around complaining about how overworked and stressed-out they are! Knock it off! A sign of a good leader is what happens in the office when you’re not there. Are people fully competent in the work? Is it meeting quality standards? Are they behaving like good corporate citizens? Micromanagers have to learn to hire the right folks, train them to do the job the right way, monitor their performance, and then get out of their way and let them do their jobs.

8. Throw your team members under the bus – When great bosses experience success, they give the credit to their team. When they encounter failure, they take personal responsibility. Blaming, accusing, or making excuses is a sign of being a weak, insecure leader. Trusted leaders own up to their mistakes, don’t blame others, and work to fix the problem. If you’re prone to throwing your team members under the bus whenever you or they mess up, you’ll find that they will start to withdraw, take less risk, and engage in more CYA behavior. No one likes to be called out in front of others, especially when it’s not justified. Man up and take responsibility.

9. Always play by the book – Leadership is not always black and white. There are a lot of gray areas when it comes to being a leader and the best ones learn to use good judgment and intuition to handle each situation uniquely. There are some instances where you need to treat everyone the same when it comes to critical policies and procedures, but there are also lots of times when you need to weigh the variables involved and make tough decisions. Too many leaders rely upon the organizational policy manual so they don’t have to make tough decisions. It’s much easier to say “Sorry, that’s the policy” than it is to jump into the fray and come up with creative solutions to the problems at hand.

10. You practice “seagull” management – A seagull manager is one who periodically flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everyone, and then flies away. Good leaders are engaged with their team members and have the pulse of what’s going on in the organization. That is much harder work than it is to be a seagull manager, but it also earns you much more respect and trust from your team members because they know you understand what they’re dealing with on a day-to-day basis and you have their best interests in mind.

I’m sure you’ve had your own personal experiences with a Frankenboss. What other behaviors would you add to this list? Feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

This guest post is by Lynn McCreery.

Managers sometimes have difficulty focusing on both people and results.  They want associates to feel excited about their work, but also need them to perform. Many managers feel they have to choose—and most choose results, focusing on people only when improvement is needed.

If organizations want to create a more balanced coaching culture, leaders need to change their mindset and behaviors. They must acquire the skills to have effective conversations with their direct reports—conversations that not only make people feel safe and valued but also lead to decisions and actions that help them grow and unleash their full potential.

Madeleine Homan Blanchard, Scott Blanchard, and Linda Miller of The Ken Blanchard Companies have created a simple framework and key skills that enable managers to master four basic conversations.  Professional coaches use these skills all the time. They can help any leader focus on helping people develop and move forward with planned actions.

• First, create a safe context for a discussion by building rapport through being present both nonverbally and verbally.
• Second, get the conversation focused around the direct report’s needs by identifying what will be most useful for the person. Be specific about the topic to be discussed without conveying judgment in tone or words.
• Third, involve and engage the direct report in finding solutions and determining next steps by asking open-ended questions that encourage problem solving.
• Fourth, reach clear agreement with the person about timelines and help them take accountability for their actions.

With a little practice, leaders can make a positive change—from focusing judgmentally on what is wrong and listening only with the intent to solve the problem at hand to having safe conversations about development and action.

Identifying areas for improvement is a necessary part of coaching. But don’t get so wrapped up in results that you forget about developing your people and helping them move forward.

About the Author

Lynn McCreery is a Senior Consulting Partner for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Surprisingly, while meetings should include discussions about goals and objectives, it’s not happening as often as it should.

Survey participants were polled on a wide variety of issues related to one-on-one meetings—including frequency, duration, and topics discussed.  In three key performance management areas—goal setting, goal review, and performance feedback, respondents identified a serious gap between how often they discussed these topics versus how often they wish they were discussing them.

Here are some of the key takeaways:

Goal Setting Conversations—Some 70 percent of people want to have goal-setting conversations often or all the time, but only 36 percent actually do. And 28 percent say they rarely or never discuss future goals and tasks.

Goal Review Conversations—Some 73 percent of people want to have goal review conversations often or all the time, but only 47 percent actually do. And 26 percent say they rarely or never discuss current goals and tasks.

Performance Feedback Conversations—Some 67 percent of people want to have performance feedback conversations often or all the time, but only 29 percent actually do. And 36 percent say they rarely or never receive performance feedback.

IMPLICATIONS FOR LEADERS

The performance management literature is clear on the importance of setting goals, providing feedback, and reviewing performance on a frequent basis. How is your organization doing with helping managers get together with direct reports to set goals, provide feedback, or discuss direction and support where needed?

If people haven’t been meeting as regularly as they should, use this survey data as a starting point to encourage managers and direct reports to schedule their next one-on-one soon. People want and need to have conversations with their immediate supervisors. It’s one of the foundations for strong, productive relationships that align people with the work of the organization in a satisfying and meaningful way. Don’t wait—your people and better performance are waiting!

*Learn more about the original survey and view the complete results by downloading the Blanchard white paper Are Employees’ Needs Being Met by One-on-Ones?  Also check out Blanchard’s brand new look into The Problem with Performance Review, just released this month.

Want to share the infographic?  Use these links to download a PDF or PNG version.

Over the course of my leadership journey there have been times when I’ve found myself leading on autopilot. Using autopilot is a helpful and necessary tool for airplane pilots, but it’s deadly for leaders. Leading on autopilot is equivalent to “mailing it in” – you physically show up to do the job but your heart and mind are elsewhere.

Here are three warning signs you may be leading on autopilot:

1. Your to-do list is filled with low-impact tactical items – I’m not one to make a big difference between leadership and management, but one of the clear differentiators in my mind is that leaders initiate change and managers react to it. If you find your to-do list is filled with low-impact, tactical items that contribute more to the daily operations of the business, then you may be running on autopilot. Your to-do list should be focused on big picture, strategic items that could make significant improvements in your operations.

There is nothing wrong with having tactical items on your to-do list. Every leadership job has a certain element of administrative or operational tasks that must be handled. The key is the amount of time and energy you devote to the tactical versus strategic parts of your role. You can dedicate more time for strategic items by intentionally planning strategic thinking time on your calendar. Block out chunks of time on a regular basis to think and plan for the long-term needs of your business. Spend time talking to your customers, stakeholders, and other leaders in the organization to help you get a broad view of the landscape of your business. Do your best to take control of your calendar and don’t get trapped in firefighting all the urgent issues that cross your desk.

2. You find yourself in reactive mode all the time – Building on the previous point, leaders who run on autopilot often find themselves surprised by changing business conditions. The autopilot leader easily becomes oblivious to changes occurring around him until the nature of the situation reaches a crises point, forcing the leader to snap back to reality. This happens because the leader was content to react to change rather than initiate it. Leaders have the responsibility to survey the landscape and proactively make changes to position their teams to take advantage of changing conditions, not be waylaid by them. If you find that you are constantly reacting to issues raised by customers, other organizational leaders, or even your team members, then you’re probably being too passive as a leader and letting circumstances dictate your actions. Instead, focus on being proactive and trying to shape those situations to your advantage.

3. You get upset when your routine is disturbed – Routine has the potential to be quite good. It can create powerful habits that lead to effectiveness over a long period of time. However, routine equally has the power to be bad. Taken to extreme, routine becomes complacency. Most people prefer some sort of routine, whether minimal or quite elaborate. We’re creatures of habit and it’s a normal part of our makeup. However, we have a problem when we’re more emotionally and mentally invested in preserving our routine at the expense of adapting our leadership methods to accomplish the goals of our organization. One of the most important competencies for leaders in the 21st century is adaptability. The pace of change continues to accelerate year after year and only adaptable leaders will survive while complacent leaders will be left behind. If you find yourself getting perturbed or exasperated because your routine is being messed with, you may have been running on autopilot too long.

Running on autopilot is great if you’re a pilot, but it’s a bad idea if you’re a leader. Instead, find yourself copilots who can shoulder the burden with you. Leadership doesn’t have to be, and shouldn’t be, an individual sport. Today’s business landscape and organizations are too fast-moving and complex for one person to lead by him/herself. Surround yourself with capable leaders and team members who can fly the plane with you and you’ll find you won’t have any need for leading on autopilot.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

What she was encouraging me to do was to take a helicopter ride. Speaking metaphorically, I was spending all of my time driving furiously up and down the highways and byways of our business trying to get stuff done, but it caused me to spend a lot of time in traffic jams and the progress was slow. What I needed to do was periodically rise above the daily chaos and take a helicopter ride to gain a different perspective of our work.

Taking time to work on the business…taking a helicopter ride…has several key benefits that will accelerate your productivity and passion for your job.

1. It provides perspective — A few years ago I was painting several rooms in our house and I noticed a trend. The quality of workmanship of the trim at the top of the walls was less than stellar, but I hadn’t noticed it before because I rarely look up. That tends to happen when you live life at eye level. Spending all of your time working in the business can lead to tunnel vision and you run the risk of losing sight of the end goal. We can easily get distracted with fire fighting and stop paying attention to higher level priorities and metrics that drive the success of our organization. An occasional helicopter ride snaps you out of the day-to-day routine and forces you to view your business at a macro-level.
2. It relieves stress — Each of us has a different level for stress tolerance but we all have one thing in common—we will eventually crash and burn when our tank reaches empty. The daily grind of work can be stressful and it takes its toll. Studies have shown that workplace stress is far and away the number one stressor we face in life. It’s imperative for your health to find productive ways to relieve stress and taking the metaphorical helicopter ride is an excellent way to accomplish that goal. Regardless of how you do it – devoting an hour a week to strategic planning, one day a month, or having a periodic retreat with your leadership team – the important thing is you do it. Helicopter rides allow you to clear your mind of pressing priorities and helps you re-calibrate your approach to work.
3. It sparks creativity and problem solving — Many of my best ideas come to me when I’m away from the office. Whether I’m in the shower or cycling in the back country, the ideas flow when I’m relaxed and letting my mind wander. Helicopter rides afford you the opportunity to think in a different way, unencumbered by the routines and demands of the office. Constantly working in the business keeps your mind focused on the immediate and urgent problems, whereas working on the business allows you to creatively brainstorm new approaches to your challenges.
4. It nourishes your soul — Leaders set the tempo for their teams. If you want a team that is engaged, energized, and committed to their work, then you need to model that behavior. That means you’re constantly pouring yourself out for others. If you aren’t replenishing your own energy you won’t have any left to give others. Sometimes helicopter rides mean getting away from work entirely by taking a vacation. Work can wear us down to the point where we develop an attitude of cynicism or a defeatist mentality. If you notice yourself going down that road then it’s a clear warning sign your soul needs some nourishment.

As leaders we are often motivated to always be on the go…get things done…make stuff happen. There’s a time and place for all that activity, but there is also a time and place for rising above the day-to-day and taking a helicopter ride to look at your business, and your leadership practices, in a new and fresh way.

Feel free to leave a comment about your own strategies for taking helicopter rides.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a large retail chain store and have been in the job about four years. Up until now, I thought I knew what I was doing.

I recently promoted an excellent worker to a supervisory position—and now I seriously regret it. All of a sudden, it’s like she is a different person.

She seems to be having delusions of grandeur and drunk with power. Every day there is a new disaster: most recently, she gave someone personal feedback that caused a storm of tears and then she somehow offended one of our vendors. She walks around the store as if she is trying to catch people doing something wrong so that she can yell at them.

I am shocked at this transformation. She used to be a stable, soft spoken, low key person. I feel I have unleashed a demon. I have promoted others with great success, but I am stunned and befuddled with this one.

Stunned

Dear Stunned,

Oh, I am sorry for you. Ambushed by a hidden personality—it is so unnerving. You must move very fast and nip this in the bud by going at it head on. You can let her go right now or you can give her a second chance. If you decide to give her another chance, be sure to be clear, concise, and direct.

Because you are a well balanced, sane professional, you expect others to be as well. Clearly, you thought the rules were obvious—but in this case you will need to make them explicit.

For example:

• No yelling
• No getting personal
• No name calling
• Correct the behavior, not the person
• Be kind

Make a list of every behavior she exhibits that is not working, and pair each with an example. Give her absolutely clear, step-by-step directions on the behaviors you want to see instead.

For example:

“When you observed Mary stocking the hiking boots in the wrong row, you started yelling about her inability to do anything right. I request that you simply, kindly redirect employees and correct mistakes without insulting them.”

Make it clear that you won’t tolerate meanness, a loose cannon, or a short fuse.

Give her only a short period of time to turn it around. Keep a record of every infraction and give her feedback each time. Let her know when she is down to her last chance and, if she crosses the line, let her go immediately. Your people will respect you all the more for it and will thank you.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

But when they became a manager, their role shifted.  They now needed to focus on what needed to get done and leave the how to the individual contributors they managed.  As a manager, they needed to be more strategic and less tactical.

Many managers struggle with this change.  They had established numerous great methods, processes, and ideas for how to accomplish work. What are they supposed to do with these concepts now?

For a fair share of managers, the natural answer is to pass on their ways to their direct reports by staying hands-on.  It doesn’t occur to them that as a manager their role is to figure out and communicate what needs to get done, leaving the how to their direct reports as their capabilities allow and giving direction and support only as needed. Unfortunately, some managers never make this shift.

If this sounds like you, there are numerous benefits when you shift from how to what.  Leaving the how to your direct reports:

… gives them the chance to develop their skill set.

… is motivating.  Research conducted by Blanchard for our Optimal Motivation training program uncovered that employees feel motivated when they perceive that what they are doing is of their own volition and that they are the source of their own actions.

… gives you more time and space to work on the what.

What can you do to make the shift?  Lots!  Here are a few suggestions:

• Acknowledge to yourself that the change won’t be easy. It helps if you recognize that the benefits far outweigh the uncomfortable process of change.
• Do a little soul searching. Why do you want to keep your fingers in the pie?  Is it a lack of trust, a need to control, or a wish to add value?
• Learn the art of partnering with direct reports to facilitate their independent problem solving. Ask your capable people a question such as “What do you need to do to get the work done?”  Then figuratively sit on your hands and listen as they figure it out.  You might need to ask a few more open-ended questions—but resist offering solutions.
• Practice, practice, practice. This will not happen overnight.  Two steps forward, one step back—but stick to it and you will be able to make the change.

I love the quote “Mediocre coaches are those who remain attached to their own opinions and feel the need to be right or even useful.”  To me this applies not only to coaches but to managers, colleagues, parents, spouses, friends, etc.  Are you unnecessarily keeping your hands on the work your direct reports should be doing themselves?  If so, what are you going to do about it?  Let me know!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

That’s simply too late. Without training, undesirable managerial habits develop that prevent new managers from being as effective as they need to be. It could also be part of the reason why 60 percent of new managers underperform—or fail—in their first two years.

In a new article for Blanchard Ignite, Linda Miller, master certified coach and coauthor of Blanchard’s new First-time Manager program, says, “If left on our own, we continue to lean on our habitual behaviors. Even when we change roles or move into a new job or position, we still are inclined to fall back into familiar patterns.”

That can be a problem in the case of new managers, explains Miller. “They often bring their individual contributor habits or practices into the new role. In this case, they may repeat a pattern over and over again—even when it is not helpful or appropriate—simply because it is comfortable and familiar.

As Miller explains, “When coaching first-time managers, I often ask how much of their work could be delegated.  A new manager has to have a plan for accomplishing results through others. Many find it easier to keep doing a familiar task themselves than to have a conversation with a direct report who could take on the responsibility. Although it may be easier for them to just do the task, as a new manager that work is no longer part of their role.”

Creating a New Manager Curriculum

Instead of letting new managers take a trial-and-error approach that potentially leads to bad habits, Miller believes organizations need to create a new manager learning path. This begins with normalizing the idea that transitioning from an individual contributor role into management is a big change—and that it is normal for first-time managers to feel awkward or even paralyzed by all the new skills they need to learn.

Next, identify some of the gaps or differences between being an individual contributor and being a new manager. For example, early discussions could focus on situations where old habits may not serve the new manager or the organization well.

Replacing Bad Habits with Good Habits

Once new managers have examined their behaviors and found patterns that aren’t working in their leadership roles, the hard work begins—changing those ingrained behaviors. This requires interrupting the automatic responses, says Miller.

“As a coach, many times I will suggest to people that they take some time before they respond to a situation. For example, before saying yes to a request, the new manager might wait two hours to think it through.  Or we might discuss coming up with a question they can ask themselves that will interrupt the pattern.

Don’t Wait

Miller’s advice to organizations interested in identifying and developing new leaders is short and sweet. “Don’t wait. Start now. Preparing your high potential people for management early will pay dividends—now and in the future.

”It’s much easier to train and develop good leadership habits in the first place than to change undesirable patterns that have been deeply embedded. Identifying high achievers and beginning leadership training before they accept their first leadership role does the organization, as well as the aspiring leaders, a great service. It’s not what most organizations do, but it is a unique and promising approach—and a far superior option to trial and error.”

Researchers from The Ken Blanchard Companies teamed up with Training magazine to poll 456 human resource and talent-management professionals. The purpose was to determine whether established best practices were being leveraged effectively.

The survey found gaps of 20-30 percent between what employees wanted from their leaders and what they were experiencing in four key areas: Performance Planning (setting clear goals), Day-to-Day Coaching (helping people reach their targets), Performance Evaluation (reviewing results), and Job and Career Development (learning and growing.)

Use these links to download a PDF or PNG version of a new infographic that shows the four key communication gaps broken down into ten specific conversations leaders should be having with their team members.

Are your leaders having the performance management conversations they should be? If you find similar gaps, address them for higher levels of employee work passion and performance.

You can read more about the survey (and see the Blanchard recommendations for closing communication gaps) by accessing the original article, 10 Performance Management Process Gaps, at the Training magazine website.

Being trained up, I was released into the wild to manage the team. Run free, new manager! Go lead your team!

But there was a problem, and it was a big one. My training lacked one critical component: how to actually manage people.

If you’re a manager, my experience probably rings true for you as well. Most new managers don’t receive adequate training when they move into their new roles. A study by CEB shows 60% of managers under-perform their first two years, resulting in increased performance gaps and employee turnover.

Beside wishing I had been provided training on how to manage people, I wish I had known what my #1 priority should have been as a new manager: building trust. If you have your team’s trust, you open the doors to all kinds of possibilities. Without it, you’re dead in the water.

But how do you actually go about building trust? Most people think it “just happens,” like some sort of relational osmosis. That’s not the case. It’s built through the use of specific behaviors that demonstrate your own trustworthiness as a leader. You are a trustworthy leader when you are:

Able—Being Able is about demonstrating competence. One way leaders demonstrate their competence is having the expertise needed to do their jobs. Expertise comes from possessing the right skills, education, or credentials that establish credibility with others. Leaders also demonstrate their competence through achieving results. Consistently achieving goals and having a track record of success builds trust with others and inspires confidence in your ability. Able leaders are also skilled at facilitating work getting done in the organization. They develop credible project plans, systems, and processes that help team members accomplish their goals.

Believable—A Believable leader acts with integrity. Dealing with people in an honest fashion by keeping promises, not lying or stretching the truth, and not gossiping are ways to demonstrate integrity. Believable leaders also have a clear set of values that have been articulated to their direct reports and they behave consistently with those values—they walk the talk. Finally, treating people fairly and equitably are key components to being a believable leader. Being fair doesn’t necessarily mean treating people the same in all circumstances, but it does mean that people are treated appropriately and justly based on their own unique situation.

Connected—Connected leaders show care and concern for people, which builds trust and helps to create an engaging work environment. Leaders create a sense of connectedness by openly sharing information about themselves and the organization and trusting employees to use that information responsibly. Leaders also build trust by having a “people first” mentality and building rapport with those they lead. Taking an interest in people as individuals and not just as nameless workers shows that leaders value and respect their team members. Recognition is a vital component of being a connected leader, and praising and rewarding the contributions of people and their work builds trust and goodwill.

Dependable—Being Dependable and maintaining reliability is the fourth element of trust. One of the quickest ways to erode trust is by not following through on commitments. Conversely, leaders who do what they say they’re going to do earn a reputation as being consistent and trustworthy. Maintaining reliability requires leaders to be organized in such a way that they are able to follow through on commitments, be on time for appointments and meetings, and get back to people in a timely fashion. Dependable leaders also hold themselves and others accountable for following through on commitments and taking responsibility for the outcomes of their work.

Building trust is the first priority of new managers but it isn’t the only one. Managing takes place through conversations, minute by minute as the dialogue unfolds. As a new leader I wish I had learned the critical skills a first-time manager needs to master. I wish I had known how to have conversations with purpose and direction. I wish I had known how to set goals, give praise or redirection, or wrap up conversations in a way that reinforced clarity and commitment to action (all skills, by the way, addressed in our newly released First-Time Manager training program…where was that 25 years ago when I needed it?!).

Becoming a manager for the first time is a significant career milestone. It is both exciting and nerve-wracking stepping into a role where you are now responsible for others and not just yourself. If that’s you, a new manager, remember the number one priority: building trust. That’s the foundation upon which all your other managerial skills and abilities rest.

Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

We ask what they wish they had known before they started, what surprised them about their new role, and what mistakes they made.

The results have been both fascinating and heartbreaking. It is not a pretty picture. The story revealed in the responses is the same one I have heard in coaching sessions for the last two decades.

Unwitting newbies are seldom given clear goals and expectations for their new charges. They are generally unprepared in terms of time management and delegation skills. And they often receive absolutely no people or communication skills training. As a result, they are shocked that their peers don’t greet them with open arms and that their former peers often resent them and gleefully test them right out of the gate. They are surprised at how many employees aren’t that interested in doing their jobs well and don’t do what they are told. They are exhausted by the personal problems of their direct reports and the drama among coworkers.

A new infographic we’ve published highlights CEB research that 60 percent of new managers underperform in their first two years. A major culprit is a lack of training—in fact, 47 percent of companies don’t offer new supervisor training according to a survey by the Institute for Corporate Productivity. Separate research by Zenger Folkman CEO Jack Zenger reported in Harvard Business Review shows that, on average, people are supervisors or managers for ten years before they get any training. Essentially, the way most companies promote employees into their first supervisory or management position is nothing short of Darwinian: only the strong survive.

I have had the rare opportunity to coach people at all stages of their careers. All of my experienced clients had to learn the hard way. This doesn’t have to be—and shouldn’t be—the norm. As a new manager, you need to take advantage of all available resources. Some people turn to books on management (there are a million) and try to create a self study program. But you can’t read everything—and some people simply aren’t readers at all. I’d like to suggest a guided approach. One of the services a coach performs for a client is to be both library and librarian, to pull out just the theory, the model, or the most current research that will help the client make sense of their current difficult situation. With the right framework, the new manager can develop a plan of action that helps them move forward.

What does this mean to you? If you manage people and you are suffering, don’t feel that you have to go it alone. Consider taking a class designed especially for first-time managers. Blanchard’s new First-time Manager program, for example, focuses in on four essential communication skills and four performance-related conversations new managers need to master. Or ask for a coach, or find yourself a mentor—but don’t suffer alone. Managing others is one of the most important jobs because you directly affect the quality of people’s lives. So don’t be bashful about asking for help. It’s important for you and others that you have access to the resources you need to succeed.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“As a first-time manager, you want to make a good first impression by demonstrating confidence and capability in managing the work of others. But new managers sometimes get over-invested in people and projects. As a result, they can overreact—getting too excited or upset when things don’t go exactly as planned.”

In the February issue of Ignite, Blanchard shares a story about his own experience.

“I remember being a new parent—you worry about every little thing. Every sniffle is a trip to the emergency room. You find yourself freaking out all the time. But by the time you get to the second kid, you have a whole new perspective. And if you get to a third or fourth, the kids practically raise themselves because you’ve gained experience—you don’t overreact to things like you did before. New managers are sometimes like new parents in that regard.

“As you become experienced as a manager, you are able to respond on a scale that is appropriate. Your energy, tone, and actions are more nuanced. Managers who have been around for a while draw from a larger barrel of knowledge and experience than new managers. They tend to be more patient and calm when things don’t go as planned because they’ve seen it many times before.”

According to Blanchard, experience also teaches managers how to set things up with team members in the beginning so that performance management doesn’t become an emergency issue later on.

Blanchard believes first-time managers need to be prepared for four types of conversations: Goal Setting—to establish performance expectations; Praising—when things are going well; Redirecting—when a mid-course correction is necessary; and Wrapping Up—bringing closure to a task or project. Each of these conversations can pose challenges for new managers.

With skill training and practice, Blanchard believes new managers can get off to a much faster start than they would by using a typical trial and error approach. This can prevent overreactions that can damage a new manager’s reputation and effectiveness.

You can read more of Blanchard’s advice in the February issue of Ignite.  Also be sure to check out the complimentary webinar Blanchard is conducting on February 24—First Time Manager: Performance Management Essentials.  It’s free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Blanchard Companies.

In his new book, The Optimistic Workplace: Creating An Environment That Energizes Everyone, Shawn Murphy, my friend and fellow advocate of human worth in the workplace, offers six straightforward strategies leaders can employ to develop a sense of community and belonging in workplaces that builds trust and collaboration.

1. Send employees to learn other parts of the business — Early in my career I worked in the funeral service business. Yes, I said funeral service, as in cemeteries and funeral homes. I worked in the corporate headquarters of the cemetery division, far removed from those on the “front lines.” In order to help everyone learn the business and build collaborative relationships with those who worked in the field, all new employees were sent to work at a cemetery or funeral home for three days. It was an experience that transformed me. I came away from it with greater understanding of the business, more appreciation for colleagues working with our customers, and an increased connection to the important service we were providing.

2. Inquire regularly into the team’s effectiveness — Peter Drucker said that nothing good ever happens in organizations by accident. It takes intentional planning and effort and that’s especially true when it comes to staying in touch with how your team members are feeling and performing. It’s easy to fall into the practice of “no news is good news.” An important way to foster trust is to have regular check-in meetings with your team members. We advocate 15-30 minute one-on-one meetings every 1-2 weeks. The agenda is driven by the team member and it can be anything on their mind: how they’re feeling, discussing how things are going at home, direction or support they need on a particular task, or just sharing an update with you about their recent accomplishments. Knowing what’s going on with your team members removes barriers that often derail collaboration.

3. Hire people with collaborative tendencies — In his book, Murphy shares an example of how Menlo Innovations tests job candidates for collaborative tendencies. Candidates are put into pairs, given a challenge to solve, and told that their goal is to make their partner look good. People with a tendency to collaborate make it to the next stage in the hiring process. Instead of asking your job candidates if they like to collaborate, devise some sort of exercise that allows them to demonstrate their skills. Murphy points out that collaboration is not merely an action, it’s also a mindset.

4. Develop routines that reinforce collaboration — You know those committees that get formed to plan holiday parties, team BBQ’s, or other group activities? They can be really frustrating, can’t they? But they serve an important purpose: they reinforce social and team norms that allow people to collaborate and bond with each other. Many of these practices seem out of date in today’s technology-enabled world. Who needs a committee when you can just create a Facebook event and invite everyone, right? Wrong. Leaders who foster high-trust and collaborative environments look for opportunities to bring people together.

5. Create spaces for random collisions — I love this recommendation! We all know that many times the most important decisions or creative breakthroughs happen in the hallway or lunch room conversations after the formal meeting. Murphy recommends we look for ways to structure our work environment that allow people to naturally and routinely “collide” with each other. When people collide in these natural ways, they feed off each others’ energy. It leads to deeper engagement between team members which results in more creative exploration of ideas and concepts. For some organizations the open work space concept works well, while for others it doesn’t fit their culture or business needs. Whatever approach you use, look for ways to help people interact in positive ways.

6. Make time for face to face meetings — Knowledge workers are increasingly isolated as we move to more people working virtually. It’s no longer necessary for everyone to congregate in the same location to get work done. Work is not a place you go; it’s something you do. In this environment it’s even more important to foster human connections. Webcams, Instant Messenger, and other technologies are good starts, but nothing replaces face to face interaction. It’s critically important to bring your team members together at regular intervals so they can deepen their relationships with one another. Trust and commitment to each other is built during these times and it’s the lubrication that keeps relationships working smoothly.

The climate of our organizations set the tone for how people “show up” on the job. Unfortunately, too many leaders are thermometers, reflecting the poor climate of their teams, rather than being thermostats, the climate controllers. Murphy’s book offers a wealth of tips on how leaders can take a proactive approach to being those “thermostats” that create more optimistic workplaces where people flourish.

However, the right amount of direction and support is not as obvious to managers as you might think. Here are some dos and don’ts for dealing with a disillusioned direct report.

DON’T say “You shouldn’t feel that way.” This is a piece of unsolicited advice that devalues the person who has just admitted to fear, uncertainty, or a host of other emotions that shouldn’t be ignored.

DO acknowledge the learner’s feelings. Say “Thank you for sharing that. I’m confident I can support you.”

DON’T confuse a disillusioned development stage with incompetence or lack of caring. Everyone hits discouragement when performing a task they have never done before. Some go through this phase in the blink of an eye. Others have the potential to remain in this stage indefinitely. Observe carefully and act accordingly.

DO ask open ended questions. Sentences that begin with the words what, when, and how are a good start.

DON’T lead the witness. Keep solutions that seem obvious to you out of the discussion at first. Trust the person you are coaching to come up with reasonable, creative, and resourceful ways to address their concerns.

DO be prepared to use your reverse gear. Linda Miller, master certified coach and coauthor of the book Coaching in Organizations, recommends acknowledging when you say something in error—even if it is said with the best of intentions. Don’t be afraid to back up and start again.

DON’T belittle, ignore, or avoid conversations with learners who are smack in the middle of disillusionment on a task or goal. They need your direction and support to help them move forward.

DO revisit the goal whenever necessary. Clear agreements and a detailed description of the target help learners visualize a positive outcome. Show them what a good job looks like. Use examples and templates and be ready to identify additional resources to keep people on the right track.

Do you know somebody who could use a little help with a task or goal they might be struggling with?  As a leader, here are three questions you may want to ask yourself:

• What is my role in helping this person move from disillusioned to confident and competent?
• How do I know if I’m giving them the right amounts of direction and support?
• What else does this learner need from me right now?

Navigating through a disillusioned learner stage is difficult but natural. How you respond as the leader of a disillusioned learner will have a direct impact on what happens next.  Identify your role, take your time to decide on appropriate direction and support, and follow up to help your people grow.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Instead, I recently have been working with clients to approach performance management as a way to leverage an employee’s contributions toward organization goals.

The subtle but important distinction between performance management and contribution management can turn a once-negative process into a positive “How can I help you succeed?” approach.

For this kind of partnering to work, managers need to have a few prerequisites in place.  Without them, you will continue to find yourself assessing and evaluating performance instead of working in tandem with direct reports to help them succeed. Think you are ready for this more positive approach?  See how you would score yourself in each of these key areas.

Well defined goals with a clear line of sight. Employees need to own their contribution. This occurs when they can clearly map their work to overall department and organization goals and are empowered to take action.

Surprisingly, though, survey results of over 500 managers in our leadership development classes show only 20 percent of managers reporting alignment between themselves and their direct reports.  Without defined goals and a clear line of sight, people are left in the dark. Work becomes a guessing game where workers are on a need-to-know basis. This creates a dependency, not a partnership.

Identification of current development level. For contribution management to truly work, a manager has to be able to accurately assess the employee’s development level on a given task, identify what the person needs to succeed, and then partner with them on the proper amounts of direction and support.

Assessing these needs accurately requires identifying an employee’s current competence at a task and commitment to achieving it. Competence is the knowledge and skills an individual brings to a goal or task and is best determined by demonstrated performance. Commitment is a combination of an individual’s motivation and confidence on a goal or task.

Ongoing coaching. Once clear performance objectives have been set, the next step is to set up recurring one-on-one meetings to regularly monitor progress against goals. This time also can be used to problem solve roadblocks, change goals as business direction changes, and re-evaluate training and resource needs.

The one-on-one conversation is critical and allows leaders to leverage the competence and commitment of their people in an efficient way. A coach-style approach allows managers to connect with each employee, focus the conversation, develop an action plan, and review next steps and resources needed to succeed. 

More Than a Name Change

It’s time to think differently about the relationship of the individual to the organization. Instead of assessment and evaluation, focus on alignment of goals, identification of development level, and providing day-to-day support.

When it is done right, contribution management is much more than a name change. It is a complete rethinking of the performance appraisal process that offers managers and direct reports the opportunity to build their relationship as they work together on objectives and create a road map for success.

About the Author

John Slater is a Senior Director, Client Solutions for The Ken Blanchard Companies working out of Blanchard’s Toronto, Ontario regional headquarters in Canada.

Irresponsible, unreliable, and undependable make for great words in a song, but if those adjectives describe your leadership style then chances are your people don’t trust you.

Now, I believe most people strive to be honorable and trustworthy in their leadership roles. There aren’t too many people who wake up in the morning and on their way into the office exclaim to themselves, “I think today is a fabulous day to break someone’s trust!” Most leaders unintentionally erode trust through what I call “trust busting” behaviors. Despite our best intentions, we sometimes get in our own way and bust trust without even realizing it.

I did a little crowd-sourcing with my team and asked them to send me a list of the most common trust-busting behaviors they’ve experienced from leaders in their career. The wisdom of the crowd was amazing! The behaviors on their lists were eerily similar. In classic David Letterman style, here’s the list of the Top 10 Ways Leaders Erode Trust:

10. Spinning the truth – Leaders erode trust when they try to shape or color the truth to their liking rather than being transparent and authentic in their communication. Spinning the truth is manipulation, just in a more socially acceptable manner, but it’s manipulation nonetheless. Save spin for the gym, not the workplace.

9. Not being available – If your schedule has you constantly booked in meetings and unavailable to the questions or concerns of your team members, you are sending the message that you don’t care about them. That may not be how you really feel, but it’s the message that’s being sent. Your schedule is a reflection of your values and priorities, so be sure to build in time for regular check-in meetings with your team members or just blocks of time where people can drop in for quick questions.

8. Not soliciting or listening to feedback – Believe it or not, your team members probably have pretty good ideas about how to improve your business if you’ll only ask. And if you do ask, make sure you do something with their feedback. Asking for feedback and then disregarding it erodes trust more than not asking for it at all.

7. Withholding information – Why do leaders withhold information? It’s because information is power and power is control. Most people think distrust is the opposite of trust. It’s not. Control is the opposite of trust. If you’re withholding information it’s likely because you’re trying to control your environment and the people around you. People without information cannot act responsibly, but people with information are compelled to act responsibly.

6. Taking credit for other people’s work – Leaders can easily fall into the habit of taking credit for work of their team members. Because it is work produced by their team, the leader rationalizes that it’s OK to take credit for it personally. Trustworthy leaders do the opposite. They call out the good performance of team members and credit those individuals for doing the work. Taking credit for the work of others is another form of plagiarizing. It sends the message to your team members that you don’t value their work and it’s more important for your ego to get credit than giving it to someone else.

5. Not keeping confidences – Integrity is the hallmark of trustworthy leaders. If someone tells you something in confidence then it should never be shared with someone else. Gossip, hallway conversations, or speaking “manager to manager” about something told to you in confidence should not happen. Above all, you should protect your integrity as a leader. At the end of the day it’s the only thing you have.

4. Playing favorites – Want to erode trust and divide your team from within? Then play favorites and watch your team burn. It’s a recipe for disaster. Now, treating people fairly doesn’t mean you have to treat everyone the same. Most leaders resort to this leadership tactic because it’s the easiest thing to do. In reality, it can be the most unfair thing you do. Aristotle said, “There is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.” They key to fairness is treating people equitably and ethically given their unique situation.

3. Inconsistency – A key element of being trustworthy is reliability and predictability. Trustworthy leaders behave consistently from setting to setting. They don’t have wild swings of behavior, exhibit temperamental outbursts, or say one thing and do another. Inconsistent leaders keep their team members on edge because they never know who is going to show up. It’s hard to trust someone when you can’t rely on the consistency of their character.

2. Micromanage – As I mentioned in regards to not sharing information (point #7), micromanagement is about control. Micro-managers often rationalize their behavior by saying they’re trying to ensure high quality, or they have the most knowledge and expertise, or they are protecting their team members from failure. That’s BS. Hire smart people, train them properly, and then let them do their jobs. Trust requires risk and leaders need to be the first to take a risk, extend trust to team members, and let them succeed or fail on their own.

And the #1 way leaders erode trust…

1. Not keeping their commitments – I think most leaders have every intention to follow through on their promises, but the problem lies in our eagerness to make the promise without having a clear idea on what it will take to deliver. Leaders tend to be problem-solvers and when a problem presents itself, leaders spring into action to marshal the resources, develop an action plan, and get the problem solved. It’s important to carefully chose your language when you make commitments with other people because although you may not use the word “promise,” others may interpret your agreement to take the next action step as a promise to accomplish the goal. Be clear in your communications and set the proper expectations for what you are and aren’t committing to do.

P.S. If you’re in the mood for a little crooning, here’s a link to Michael Buble’s great cover of Call Me Irresponsible.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Dear Madeleine,

I have a lot of friends at work and we have a lot of fun. I am an easy going person and like to joke around, but I was recently promoted to manager and now there’s a problem. 

One person on my team assumes he can take breaks whenever he wants without asking. It feels like things are getting out of hand. How do I put a stop to this without making him hate me?  –Getting Serious

Dear Getting Serious,

As a very informal person myself, I really can sympathize with your dilemma.  Although you definitely had a hand in creating this situation, it is also true that you are being taken advantage of.

The first thing we need to do is take a hard look at what got you into this pickle: your need to be liked. Many lovely, friendly, delightful people have this need.  It is a trait that has made you a lot of friends—but if you don’t get a grip on it, it will keep you from being a successful manager.  Ultimately, your need to be liked will have to be fulfilled outside of work hours.  Now let’s work on setting clear boundaries.

Boundaries set limits.  The military calls them no fly zones—and they mean keep out! Well defined and maintained boundaries work in exactly the same way.

Start by noticing when you choose to say yes instead of no, even when you don’t want to or don’t think it is appropriate.  Also be aware of times when something happens that is out of bounds and you choose to stay quiet.

You might feel that setting and enforcing boundaries is presumptuous or pushy. After all, “Who do you think you are?” Who hasn’t felt the sting of that question? It is designed to make you wonder, Who do I think I am? Who am I to say no? Who am I to impose my will on others? In other words, Who am I to claim rights and set boundaries? For you the answer is: “I am the manager. And my job is to draw the line, gently but firmly.”

Practice exactly how you will draw the line with this employee.  Try out language and find a brief, clear way to say what needs to be said.

“Joe, it’s really important to check with me about breaks and clock in and out so the floor continues to work smoothly.”

A Strange Phenomenon

With all of this being said about setting boundaries, there is a strange phenomenon that I’ve noticed. Once you’re clear on what the boundary is, you’ve practiced what you’re going to say, and you’re ready to take the plunge and draw that line, you may not need to say anything at all.  There is a transfer of energy, psychic signaling, or some other indefinable magic that often occurs when the initial preparation is done.

Suddenly the person with whom the boundary needs to be set simply stops the offending behavior.

I don’t know why this happens, but I’ve seen it time and again. A client is frustrated and upset about a specific person’s behavior.  They work to identify, articulate, and role-play boundary setting, finally committing to a time and place for a conversation with the offending party. But the very next day the person in question approaches the manager with an apology or a promise never to do the behavior again, or just stops the behavior—giving the manager no opportunity or need to say anything.

Is this just a coincidence? I don’t think so. It is said that dogs can smell fear and, in my experience, people can smell a pushover. If you know what the boundaries are and are ready to set them, there is a good chance people will sense it—and toe the line.

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Some time ago I was working with a CEO to help him improve the levels of trust and engagement in his company. He had recently hired a Vice President from a competing organization in the same industry. This gentleman was highly successful in his previous organization and had excellent values and ethics—by all accounts a great hire. But the CEO was dissatisfied with the VP’s performance less than a year into his tenure. The CEO felt the VP wasn’t “stepping up” or helping the team “get to the next level.” I asked the CEO, “Have you defined what ‘stepping up’ and ‘getting to the next level’ look like and have you communicated that to the VP?” “No,” said the CEO, “I figured given his experience he should know what that means.”

The curse of unspoken expectations. The result? The CEO was constantly dissatisfied with the VP’s performance, the VP was working his butt off trying to impress the CEO but had no clue he’s missing the mark, and all the while the team plods along producing at half their potential.

Here are three common sense, yet uncommon practices to prevent the curse of unspoken expectations and improve teamwork and collaboration:

1. Don’t assume expectations are clear – You know the old saying about the danger of assuming something, right? When you “assume,” you run the risk of making an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” People are not mind readers so don’t assume expectations are clearly understood. It doesn’t matter how much experience someone has or how long they’ve been in a particular role. If you think there is the slightest chance for misunderstanding, take the time to clarify the goal and objectives.

2. Clearly state, discuss, and agree on expectations – It was completely unfair for that CEO to hold the VP accountable to certain levels of performance without clearly defining the standard by which he would be judged. Just stating the expectations isn’t enough; you need to make sure the other party has the same understanding of those expectations as you do. I’ve had conversations with employees where it’s been clear my expectation of a certain performance standard…let’s say, proactiveness…is definitely different from their perception of what proactive means. That’s why it’s important to discuss and agree upon a common understanding of the expectation so both parties are clear.

3. Consistently adhere to the expectations – If you agree to a standard then keep it. Don’t set the standard at one level for a particular situation and then a different level the next time. Constantly changing expectations leads to confusion and erratic performance. Not meeting expectations is a trust-buster. Consistent and dependable behavior is essential to building and maintaining trust. If you aren’t able to meet an expectation, identify and communicate the problem as early as possible to avoid letting someone down and eroding their trust.

Expectations are tricky in relationships. On the one hand, healthy and clearly communicated expectations can help us raise our performance to new heights. On the other hand, if they aren’t clearly communicated and understood, they become a point of friction and discord that lead to poor performance. Don’t assume expectations are clear, take the time to discuss and agree upon them, then consistently meet them. Everyone will be better off as a result.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

I don’t remember how it came up, but one day my husband remarked on how good I had become at bossing people around. I was floored and asked him to clarify. He pointed out how comfortable I seemed to be telling my assistant what to do. I countered and asked him how my assistant was to know what I wanted her to do if I didn’t tell her. Looking back, it was the first time I had made the distinction in my own mind between providing an employee with clear direction and simply bossing someone around.

And even with that understanding, when I overheard that same assistant on the phone referring to me as her “boss,” I was still somewhat uncomfortable.  When she got off the phone I said, “I’m not so much your boss as I am your employer.” She laughed and said, “Oh cut it out, Mad, you are too my boss–and if I didn’t want to have a boss I would start my own business like you, so just relax.”

The Benefits of Clear Direction

It took me a long time to get comfortable with being a boss. And as much as no one wants to be bossed around all the time—especially if they really know what they’re doing—likewise, no one wants to do a bad job because they don’t know what a good job actually looks like.

The In-Director (the first character we looked at in our series on seven ways good managers sometimes get it wrong ) shies from being straightforward about what the job is, the expected result when the job is done, the exact steps that will create the result, and even how long it should take. Having a boss who is an In-Director is a little like following an unclear recipe: you have to figure it out using trial and error. This is a waste in every way—not to mention totally annoying.

Nobody wants to be bossed around all the time. And nobody wants to be thought of as bossy. But when you are, in fact, the boss, you must gather your courage and practice giving clear direction. Maybe you could write out the instructions at first. Use a neutral tone. Smile. You won’t seem bossy; you’ll seem as if you know exactly what is needed—and your employees will thank you for it.

Giving clear direction helps your employees be successful at work. And who doesn’t want that?

About this column

Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Previous posts in this series:

Setting Boundaries: 7 Ways Good Managers Get It Wrong

The Well-Intentioned Manager’s New Year’s Resolution: Have More Fun

The Top Three Mistakes Good Managers Make

Managing Polarities: A Key Skill for the Well-Intentioned Manager

Please don’t be too alarmed if you see yourself in one of these descriptions—that was one of my intentions. I wanted to make it easy for you to identify yourself. After all, you can’t craft a solution until you identify the real nature of the problem. My intention in using the labels is to keep things fun and light, but also to be clear.  Okay, here goes:

The In-Director. You believe people don’t like to be bossed around, and you don’t want people to think you’re bossy.  So you don’t give super clear direction—but then you’re disappointed in the results.

The Punch Puller. You are afraid of damaging the relationship or demotivating the employee, so you don’t give constructive, developmental feedback when needed. Even when you are forced to give feedback, you fail to make clear requests.

Ms. Max Flex. You are so sympathetic and so empathetic to the needs of your employees that you—perhaps inadvertently—put their needs ahead of the team or the business.

Captain Empowerment. You have such a high value for fairness that you treat everyone the same way regardless of their competence or skill levels. Your mantra is “You can do it!” despite ample evidence to the contrary—and you think if you believe in people enough, they won’t let you down.

The Freedom Fighter. Your own need for freedom blinds you to the fact that not everyone has the same needs. You give people way more rope than they want and the result can be frustration—or even failure.

Horton the Elephant. Maisy the flaky bird flies south for a nonstop party while Horton sits on her eggs through rain, hail and snow. Are you Horton? Simply too patient for your own good and letting your people take advantage of you?

The Wuss. You let your need to be liked get the better of you, at great cost to your own success. You may suffer from aspects of some or all of the above conditions. What you know for sure is that you tolerate way too much and let your people walk all over you.

Is There A Cure?

The good news is that all of these behaviors stem from your being a generous and kind person—but they can really hurt you and your team. Stay tuned and I’ll go into a little more detail about each one over the next few weeks. In the meantime if you recognize yourself, one of your direct reports, or your boss here, note examples of these behaviors as you move through your days. The more specific and concrete you can be about behaviors that aren’t working, the easier it will be to shift them.

PS: Are there other behaviors you’ve seen that I’ve missed? If you have an idea for a different challenge or label, I would love to hear it.  Just add it to the comments section below!

About this column

Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Previous posts in this series:

The Well-Intentioned Manager’s New Year’s Resolution: Have More Fun

The Top Three Mistakes Good Managers Make

Managing Polarities: A Key Skill for the Well-Intentioned Manager

Me: Thank you, Santa, for taking the time to meet with me. You must be exhausted getting ready for Christmas Eve.

Santa: Ho, ho, ho! It’s my pleasure Randy! I’m not exhausted, I’m energized! I love the work I do and consider myself blessed to be able to bring happiness and joy to so many people.

Me: You are one of the most trusted and revered leaders in history. Why do you think that is so?

Santa: Well, I’m humbled by that compliment. I believe a large part of it has to do with my dependability. In all my years I’ve never missed a Christmas delivery. I know that millions of young boys and girls are relying on me to bring them gifts and I never want to disappoint them. If you want people to trust you, you have to be reliable and follow through on your commitments.

Me: How in the world do you manage to make all your deliveries in a single night?

Santa: I can’t reveal all my secrets, otherwise FedEx and UPS might give me a run for my money! Let’s just say that I have to be extremely organized. Any successful leader knows that you must have a clear plan of action. It’s a cliché, but it’s true: People don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan. I maintain trust with kids and parents by being organized and methodical in my approach to work. It helps me stay on track.

Me: I’ve heard that you keep a list, you check it twice, and you know who’s been naughty or nice. Is that true? Why do you do that?

Santa: Of course it’s true! In leadership terms I consider it my way of “managing performance.” I like to stay in touch with how all the girls and boys are behaving and I think it helps them stay on their best behavior if they know there are consequences for their actions. The parents are the front-line “supervisors” in charge of their kids, so they send me regular reports about how things are going. I partner with the parents to help them set clear goals for their children so the kids know exactly what’s expected of them.It’s not fair to evaluate someone’s performance if they didn’t have defined goals in the first place.

Me: How do you keep all the elves motivated to work throughout the year?

Santa: I have the best team in the world! I’ve always tried to help the elves realize the importance of the work they do. They aren’t robots who work on an assembly line. They are fine craftsmen who are bringing the dreams of kids to life and that’s a very meaningful job. I also look for opportunities to praise their performance and encourage them to praise each other’s performance as well. It’s creates an environment in our workshop where we cheer each other on to greater success. Finally, I put them in charge of achieving the goal. I make sure they are sufficiently trained to do their particular job and then I get out of their way. The elves have a great degree of autonomy to do their work as they see fit.

Me: Santa, I know you’re tired and eager to get back to the North Pole and Mrs. Claus, so I’ll ask this one final question. If you could give one piece of advice to leaders reading this article, what would it be?

Santa: I would encourage leaders to remember the purpose of their position – to serve those they lead. Leaders set the vision and direction for their team, provide the necessary resources and training, and then look for ways to support their team members in achieving their goals. Successful leaders remember that the most important thing they have is their integrity and the trust they hold with their followers, and they continually look for ways to build and maintain trust with others. If they focus on that, they’ll be successful in the long run.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

In a new article for Harvard Business Review Online, What Maslow’s Hierarchy Won’t Tell You About Motivation, Blanchard author Susan Fowler suggests that despite the popularity of Maslow’s model it might be time to take a second look at the idea of a needs hierarchy.

In conducting research for her new book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does, Fowler found that instead of a hierarchy, contemporary science points to three universal psychological needs common to all people at all times:  autonomy, relatedness, and competence.  This research would suggest that leaders need to address these three psychological needs early and often instead of delaying them for a future time.  For example:

Autonomy is a person’s need to perceive that they have choices, that what they are doing is of their own volition, and that they are the source of their own actions.  Fowler explains that the way leaders frame information and situations either promotes the likelihood that a person will perceive autonomy or undermines it. To promote autonomy Fowler recommends that leaders:

• Frame goals and timelines as essential information to assure a person’s success, rather than as dictates or ways to hold people accountable.
• Refrain from incentivizing people through competitions and games.
• Don’t apply pressure to perform. Sustained peak performance is a result of people acting because they choose to — not because they feel they have to.

Relatedness is a person’s need to care about and be cared about by others, to feel connected to others without concerns about ulterior motives, and to feel that they are contributing to something greater than themselves. Fowler shares that leaders have a great opportunity to help people derive meaning from their work and deepen relatedness by:

• Validating the exploration of feelings in the workplace and being willing to ask people how they feel about an assigned project or goal and listening to their response.
• Taking time to facilitate the development of people’s values at work — and then helping them align those values with their goals.
• Connecting people’s work to a noble purpose.

Competence is a person’s need to feel effective at meeting every-day challenges and opportunities, demonstrating skill over time, and feeling a sense of growth and flourishing. Fowler shares that leaders can rekindle people’s desire to grow, learn, and develop competence by:

• Making resources available for learning. What message does it send about values for learning and developing competence when training budgets are the first casualty of economic cutbacks?
• Setting learning goals — not just the traditional results-oriented and outcome goals.
• At the end of each day, instead of asking, “What did you achieve today?” ask “What did you learn today? How did you grow today in ways that will help you and others tomorrow?”

The exciting message to leaders is that when the three basic psychological needs are satisfied in the workplace, people experience the day-to-day high-quality motivation that fuels employee work passion — and all the inherent benefits that come from actively engaged individuals at work.

To learn more about Fowler’s research, read her entire article at HBR.org.  Be sure to check out—and join the lively conversation—taking place with fellow leadership development peers!

Liberman’s basic point is that people are having trouble keeping up with the amount of tasks added to their plates and the pace of change occurring in their organizations. Recession-driven layoffs, restructures, and job modifications have forced people to take on extra work, new job duties, or assume different roles and it’s taking a toll. As job scope increases, people feel overwhelmed with the amount of work they have to accomplish, and it leads even the most engaged employees to gravitate toward focusing on the least complex, simple tasks they can control, rather than focusing on the most important and complex issues that need to be addressed.

According to Liberman, much of the fault lies at the feet of senior leaders. Whether it’s pursuing the latest management fad, reorganizing on a whim, or doing a poor job of managing change, senior leaders can be prone to lay the blame of organizational failure at the feet of employees who aren’t performing up to snuff, not taking into account those same employees are still trying to come to grips with the previous round of changes. Wharton professor Peter Cappelli says, “Today, work demands are through the roof. Not just the amount of work but challenges that employees do not know how to meet, in part because they may not be achievable.” Workplace frustration leads to insecurity which leads to a lack of trust and confidence in leadership.

I can identify with these conditions. The team I lead has experienced increased job scope and responsibilities over the years as our business has grown more complex and demanding in today’s global economy. “Task saturation” is a word we’ve used to describe this condition and the insecure, frustrated state of mind it induces. Here are six strategies I’ve found helpful to deal with this “performance anxiety” in the workplace:

1. Create a safe and trusting environment—The number one job of a leader is to build trust with his/her followers. Fostering a culture of safety is essential for trust to not only survive, but thrive. People need to know they can count on their leaders to look out for their best interests, protect them when necessary (even from themselves sometimes), and to genuinely care about them as people and not just worker drones showing up to do a job. Simon Sinek speaks to this truth in his insightful TED Talk, Why good leaders make you feel safe.

2. Ask people for their opinions—One of the most tangible ways leaders can combat frustration and insecurity in the workplace is to ask people for their opinions. But asking is just the first step; you have to do something with what they tell you. The higher up a leader rises in the organization, the easier it is to lose touch with the daily frustrations and battles your employees face. It’s easy to oversimplify the problems and solutions our people face and dismiss their expressions of frustration as whining or griping. Listen with the intent of being influenced and be willing to take action on what you learn.

3. Start, stop, continue—As you consider your next round of corporate restructuring, job modification, or process improvements, ask yourself these three questions: What do we need to start doing? What do we need to stop doing? What do we need to continue doing? I’ve found it’s easy to keep adding new tasks while continuing to do the old tasks. It’s much, much harder to identify those things we should stop doing. We can’t continue to pile more and more work on people and expect them to perform at consistently high levels. There is only so much time to accomplish the work at hand. As an addition to the start, stop, continue strategy, I’m seriously considering adopting a strategy from the simplicity movement: for every new task I add for my team, we have to eliminate one task. Enough of task saturation!

4. Manage change, don’t just announce it—Managing a change initiative involves more than just announcing a new strategy. That’s the easy part! The hard part is actually implementing and managing the change well. People go through specific stages of concern when faced with a major change and leaders need to be equipped to address those concerns throughout the process. By addressing the information, personal, and implementation concerns of employees, leaders can be much more successful in helping their people adapt and endorse the change initiative.

5. Focus on development of boss/employee relationship—One of the primary factors in an employee’s success, satisfaction, and engagement on the job is the quality of the relationship with their boss. Intentional effort needs to be placed on cultivating high-quality boss/employee relationships founded on trust and mutual respect. Frequent and quality conversations need to occur regularly between the boss and employee so the boss is aware of the daily challenges faced by the employee and can work to remove obstacles.

6. Foster empowerment, control, and autonomy—People don’t resist change; they resist being controlled. Much of today’s workplace frustrations are caused by workers having a lack of empowerment in their role, little control over what effects them at work, and scant autonomy in how they perform their tasks. Leaders can build engagement by focusing on the development of these three qualities in the work people do.

Workplace frustration and insecurity is like organizational high blood pressure—it’s a silent killer. This silent killer is not always evident through outward symptoms, but it’s always lurking underneath causing damage day after day. We have a choice…will we do anything about it?

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Whenever I conduct trust workshops with clients and discuss the role that rewards and recognition play in building trust, I will ask participants to raise their hands if they feel like they receive too much praise or recognition on the job. No one has ever raised a hand.

So on this day of giving thanks, take a few minutes to review this list and commit to using one of these methods to tell your employees “thank you.” I’ve used many of these strategies myself and can attest to their effectiveness.

1. Let them leave work early – This may not be feasible in all work environments, but if you’re able to do it, a surprise treat of allowing people to leave early does wonders for team morale and well-being. I use this technique occasionally with my team, usually when they’ve had the pedal to the metal for a long period of time, or if we have a holiday weekend coming up. Allowing folks to get a head start on the weekend or a few hours of unexpected free time shows you recognize and appreciate their hard work and that you understand there’s more to life than just work.

2. Leave a “thank you” voice mail message – Don’t tell my I.T. department, but I’ve got voice mails saved from over ten years ago that were sent to me by colleagues who took the time to leave me a special message of praise. The spoken word can have a tremendous impact on individuals, and receiving a heartfelt message from you could positively impact your employees in ways you can’t imagine.

3. Host a potluck lunch – You don’t have to take the team to a fancy restaurant or have a gourmet meal catered in the office (which is great if you can afford it!), you just need to put a little bit of your managerial skills to practice and organize a potluck lunch. Sharing a meal together allows people to bond and relax in a casual setting and it provides an excellent opportunity for you to say a few words of thanks to the team and let them know you appreciate them.

4. Give a small token of appreciation – Giving an employee a small memento provides a lasting symbol of your appreciation, and although it may cost you a few bucks, it’s well worth the investment. I’m talking about simple things like giving nice roller-ball ink pens with a note that says “You’ve got the write stuff,” or Life Savers candies with a little note saying “You’re a hole lot of fun,” or other cheesy, somewhat corny things like that (believe me, people love it!). I’ve done this with my team and I’ve had people tell me years later how much that meant to them at the time.

5. Have your boss recognize an employee – Get your boss to send an email, make a phone call, or best-case scenario, drop by in-person to tell one of your employees “thank you” for his/her work. Getting an attaboy from your boss’ boss is always a big treat. It shows your employee that you recognize his/her efforts and you’re making sure your boss knows about it too.

6. Hold an impromptu 10 minute stand up meeting – This could be no or low-cost depending on what you do, but I’ve called random 10 minute meetings in the afternoon and handed out popsicles or some other treat and taken the opportunity to tell team members “thank you” for their hard work. The surprise meeting, combined with a special treat, throws people out of their same ol’, same ol’ routine and keeps the boss/employee relationship fresh and energetic.

7. Reach out and touch someone – Yes, I’m plagiarizing the old Bell Telephone advertising jingle, but the concept is right on. Human touch holds incredible powers to communicate thankfulness and appreciation. In a team meeting one time, my manager took the time to physically walk around the table, pause behind each team member, place her hands on his/her shoulders, and say a few words about why she was thankful for that person. Nothing creepy or inappropriate, just pure love and respect. Unfortunately, most leaders shy away from appropriate physical contact in the workplace, fearful of harassment complaints or lawsuits. Whether it’s a handshake, high-five, or fist bump, find appropriate ways to communicate your thanks via personal touch.

8. Say “thank you” – This seems like a no-brainer given the topic, but you would be amazed at how many people tell me their boss doesn’t take the time to express thanks. Saying thank you is not only the polite and respectful thing to do, it signals to your people that they matter, they’re important, valuable, and most of all, you care.

9. Send a thank you note to an employee’s family – A friend of mine told me that he occasionally sends a thank you note to the spouse/significant other/family of an employee. He’ll say something to the effect of “Thank you for sharing your husband/wife/dad/mother with us and supporting the work he/she does. He/she a valuable contributor to our team and we appreciate him/her.” Wow…what a powerful way to communicate thankfulness!

10. Give a handwritten note of thanks – Some things never go out of style and handwritten thank you notes are one of them. Emails are fine, voice mails better (even made this list!), but taking the time to send a thoughtful, handwritten note says “thank you” like no other way. Sending handwritten letters or notes is a lost art in today’s electronic culture. When I want to communicate with a personal touch, I go old school with a handwritten note. It takes time, effort, and thought which is what makes it special. Your employees will hold on to those notes for a lifetime.

What other ways to say “thank you” would you add to this list? Please a share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the fourth Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

A number of years ago when I went through Ken Blanchard’s SLII^® workshop for the first time, I struggled with the concept of the Directing Leadership Style. I kept telling myself that I would never use that style.

In the years since, I have discovered that my initial fear of the Directing style came from my having been on the receiving end of that style when I didn’t need direction because I was already competent at the task.

It turns out the Directing style is a great style to use as a leader when the individual you are leading lacks competence at a particular goal or task, but is highly motivated and confident to accomplish the task. In addition, the person must recognize their lack of competence or the Directing style will still feel like micromanagement.

Five Steps to Better Direction

When a Directing style is needed, remember to do the following:

1. Be clear and specific in describing the goal or task.
2. Contract with the individual to use a Directing style. Use language such as: “Since you’ve never done this before, would it be helpful if I provided some direction to help you get started?”
3. Adapt your direction to match the individual’s learning style. Ask: “How do you like to learn?” and adapt your direction to meet their needs.
4. Check in often for understanding and provide feedback. Don’t just let the person go at this point. Continually check in to see how they are doing and provide praise for progress and redirection where needed.
5. Adjust your style as the individual progresses. They won’t always need high levels of direction. As they demonstrate competence on the goal or task, gradually pull back on the direction and let them take more of a lead. 

Dealing with Disagreement

What if they don’t agree? What if they believe they are already competent at the task? When that happens, follow these steps:

1. Clarify the goal or task. Chances are the person doesn’t fully understand the scope of the goal or task. Describe the goal in greater detail and clearly identify a standard for success. At this point, you are hoping they have an “aha” moment when they realize that they haven’t actually done the task before. 

If Step 1 doesn’t work, move to Step 2.

2. Ask them for more information regarding their experience on the goal or task. Be open to the fact that they might have competence you haven’t seen and they don’t need as high a level of direction on this task. 

If you still aren’t convinced, go to Step 3.

3. Compare their past experience to a clear standard of high performance on the goal. Try to help the individual see the gap between their experience and the level of competence needed for you to “let them go” on this task. 

If the individual still believes they have demonstrated competence in the past and you disagree, move to Step 4.

4. In most instances, go with their perception and let the individual take the lead on how to accomplish the goal or task, but monitor them closely. For example, if you are asking them to lead a project team but have never seen them demonstrate competence as a project manager but they insist they are competent, give them the assignment to develop a project plan. Let them complete that “sub-task” without direction and then check in to see if they demonstrate competence. 

Remember: The Directing style is highly directive but includes low levels of support—not no support. If it was no support, it would be a Dictator style!  We’ve all been on the receiving end of a Dictator style at some point in our careers.

Share Your Experience

Recently, I asked participants in a workshop to do some field work between sessions and have a partnering conversation with one of their direct reports on a new goal or task. In many instances, they reported using a Directing style with very experienced employees on new tasks they had never done before. In the past, they had been afraid to provide direction for fear of micromanaging. What they discovered was, if used correctly, the Directing style was exactly what these individuals were looking for to help them get started.

Let me know your thoughts and experiences on using or receiving a Directing style when it matched an individual’s development level.

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.

mal·prac·tice

1. any improper, negligent practice; misconduct or misuse
2. immoral, illegal, or unethical professional conduct or neglect of professional duty
3. the behavior of most bad bosses in today’s workplaces

What if leaders could be sued for malpractice? Malpractice, as a legal course of action, is usually applied to professionals in the healthcare, legal, accounting, or financial investment fields, but imagine if it applied to bad leaders? Would it change the way you view your position of authority and influence you to be a better leader?

The sad reality is there are too many leaders in organizations today guilty of malpractice. I believe that bad leadership accounts for the majority of dysfunctional behavior in organizations and our research has shown it can result in a financial cost equal to 7% of a company’s annual revenue. That’s over $1 million dollars for an organization with $15 million or more in annual sales.

So what does leadership malpractice look like, and to make this really personal, could you be guilty as charged? Here’s ten warning signs you may be committing leadership malpractice:

1. You’re not trusted – Trust is the one non-negotiable for successful leadership. If you have it, all things are possible. If you don’t, you might skate by for a while as people comply with your leadership, but you won’t gain cooperation and collaboration which are key to long-term success. Lack of trust in your leadership shows up in many ways: people avoid you, they don’t confide in you, gossip, low morale, and lack of engagement just to name a few.

2. Being self-oriented, not other-oriented – Examine the way you speak. Is your language filled with “I/me/mine” or “you/we/our?” Do you place your success ahead of your team’s? Is your leadership in service to self or in service to others?

3. Focusing on results at the expense of relationships – Good leadership focuses on both results and relationships. Focusing on either one to the detriment of the other will place the organization out of balance. You could focus solely on results and burn your people out in the process, or you could cater to the whims of your people and party all the way to bankruptcy. As stewards of the organization, leaders have to strike the right balance between the needs of their people and the bottom-line.

4. Being unethical – I’ve yet to meet anyone who would describe himself as unethical, yet the fact is too many leaders have grown comfortable with practicing situational ethics. We’ve grown comfortable with rationalizing our choices or bending the rules ever so slightly to achieve our goals. Dishonesty, taking credit for other people’s work, turning a blind eye to wrong doing, or dismissing bad behavior as routine are ways this shows up in the workplace. Faced with an ethical dilemma? Here’s three questions that could save your career.

5. Not caring about people – Believe or not, there are many people in leadership positions who don’t really like people. These leaders have moved into management positions because it’s the next natural career step or it’s the only way to gain experience or make more money. You hear them say things like “I wish my people would leave me alone so I can get my job done!” Uh, hello…your people ARE you’re job! Caring for people means you value them for who they are as individuals, not just as workers paid to do a job.

6. Holding people back – Have you ever seen or experienced a situation where a star performer was held back from promotion in order to suit the needs of the boss? I have and it’s not pretty. It’s downright despicable on the part of the leader. Leaders should take pride in being a net-exporter of talent, someone who attracts top talent, grows them to new heights, and helps them move to new opportunities (hopefully ones you’ve created for them in your own organization).

7. Carelessness – Just like a surgeon being careless and leaving a sponge inside a patient, leaders often move too fast and don’t practice good listening skills, use the wrong leadership style, give ineffective feedback, or are preoccupied and not truly present when meeting with an employee. All these behaviors diminish the power and potential of your people.

8. Acting like a know-it-all – Malpractice involves inflicting some sort of injury or harm to another person and know-it-all leaders harm their employees by making them feel “less than.” The boss’ way is the only right way, no matter what the facts are or what others say. A colleague of mine experienced this attitude with a doctor who was treating her young daughter. The girl experienced a seizure and was exhibiting all the signs of diabetes insipidus, a condition that ran in the family. Yet every time my colleague suggested it as a cause, the doctor talked to her like she was an idiot and ignored the test results that confirmed diabetes was indeed the cause. Please don’t be a know-it-all, unless of course you want to be a jerk.

9. Not using all the resources at your disposal – Wouldn’t you want your doctor or lawyer to examine all possible avenues in their attempt to help you? Your employees want the same thing. They want you to use your power to remove roadblocks, secure resources, and provide them the tools and training they need to succeed in their jobs. It’s malpractice when leaders get lazy and don’t go to bat for their employees because it’s too exhausting, hard, or inconvenient.

10. Not staying current and relevant – Leaders need to stay educated and current in their chosen fields, both technically and as leaders. You can’t rely on old practices and outdated leadership techniques (e.g., command and control leadership and carrot-stick motivational techniques) that may have been applicable 30 years ago but aren’t relevant in today’s global, fast-paced, inter-connected work environment.

Malpractice, in the general sense of the word, is negligent conduct by a person in a position of trust that causes harm to another individual. Leaders are in a position of trust and we should use our influence for the betterment of our team members, not for their harm.

About the author

Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the fourth Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

• Ask employees to introduce themselves. If you don’t know someone’s name, don’t embarrass yourself, the person you’re introducing, or the person you’re introducing them to. After introducing the new hires, Elizabeth could have given the ‘your turn’ glance to Patrick and allowed him to chime in on his own. Or, she could have turned to Patrick and said something like, “why don’t you introduce yourself and tell them a little bit about who you are?”
  (Or, of course, she also could have glanced at the name plaque on the wall outside his office for assistance.)
• Ask employees to describe their role in their own words. If you don’t know what someone does, simply have them describe it in their own words. By saying, “I have no idea what you do,” it implies that Patrick’s contributions aren’t noticeable, and by extension, not appreciated. Or, as a Human Resources representative, it implies that you’re not in tune with the actual work being done by the employees in the trenches.
• If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. All these years later, Mom’s advice still rings true. Never introduce someone by pointing out their flaws, faults, or negative traits. By focusing on Patrick’s bad habit, Elizabeth effectively eroded any trust she had with Patrick and demonstrated to the new employees that perhaps they should be cautious around Elizabeth.

What other advice would you have for Elizabeth? Do you have any stories of introductions gone wrong?
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