Dear Madeleine,

My organization instituted a mentoring program a few years ago. We have a cool online system so that prospective mentees can review bios and request people who have signed up to be mentors. I have been chosen by a few people and have really enjoyed being a mentor. 

Our system provides some guidelines to mentors but it isn’t a lot of information, and I have some questions. Our HR person didn’t have many answers for me so I thought I should ask you. 

I notice that you are a coach and I am wondering: what do you think the difference is between coaching and mentoring? What is my responsibility as a mentor? How do I know how much is enough? What is too much? What if I hear something that I think should be reported to my mentee’s boss? That hasn’t happened yet, but I find that it can get pretty personal. What else do I need to know?

Wondering

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Dear Wondering,

What a fun question! Thanks! First, you are a good egg to sign up to mentor. It can be great fun, and you can certainly learn a lot, but it is a service you are providing.

Although I am told that nobody buys or reads books anymore, I still must recommend the one that Ken Blanchard wrote with Claire Diaz-Ortiz (who is staggeringly cool, look her up). It’s called One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work with a Mentor—And Why You’ll Benefit from Being One.

The book is an easy and fun read and will fill in some gaps for you.

A couple of pointers though:

• Establish desired outcomes. The first thing you will want to establish in a mentoring relationship is what the mentee hopes to accomplish by working with a mentor. This will help you to build a road map for the relationship, and to know if you have done a good job at the end.
• Designate a timeline. You will want to establish a time limit for the mentoring relationship as well, not that you can’t choose to carry on when you have reached the finish line, if both parties agree.  But designating a timeline eliminates any discomfort around calling it quits if the goals have been accomplished, or if either party wants to move on.
• Create a partnership agreement. How will you work together? How will you give each other feedback if the need arises? How will you deal with it if you disagree about a course of action?
• Design a structure. You can tweak the agreement as you go but putting form to the function is important. Will you meet in person, on the phone, or on Zoom? How often and for how long? Maybe agree on a midpoint check-in to assess if things are going as well as you’d both like.
• Track progress. It should be the mentee’s job to create a written record of the goals, commitments, accomplishments, and insights gained over the course of the mentoring relationship. It will help you both to recognize the value of your time spent together.
• Let the mentee drive the relationship. This is my opinion, but being a mentor is a service and I don’t think it is up to you to chase after your mentee. If the mentee is not taking the work seriously, you can certainly make that observation. If the mentee is not showing up for meetings, you can ask what is going on. You can also ask if there is anything you have done or said that has turned off the mentee. That is keeping up your end of the bargain, and you can leave it at that.
• Determine the confidentiality parameters. To answer your question, “What if I hear something?”—I am a fan of the “cone of silence,” so that mentees can feel safe to be themselves and share things they aren’t comfortable sharing with anyone else. This demands your commitment to never, ever reveal anything you learn about your mentee unless you have a legal obligation to do so. I am hoping that your organization has provided some guidelines on this; maybe it is buried in the fine print. You may have a duty to escalate anything you hear about:
  • Serious mental health issues like suicidal ideation.
  • Anything that might become a lawsuit. For example, suppose your mentee is suffering from what sounds like a form of harassment. Because you are an agent of the organization, if your mentee can show that he spoke to someone in the organization about the problem and nothing was done—even if he asked you not to do anything—it could blow up in your face.
  • Illegal activity. For example, if your mentee suspects that her boss or a colleague is stealing, sharing trade secrets, or is engaging in other nefarious behaviors.  

I know that these parameters apply to our professional coaches. Of course, your first line of defense will always be to encourage your mentee to escalate to HR or a mental health professional. They may just need your help to distinguish fact from speculation or, worst case, to find the courage to escalate if that is appropriate.

Traditionally, the mentor’s job includes:

• Being a role model: Engaging in distinct activities and displaying behaviors that are role specific.
• Consulting: Sharing information or expertise about the industry, company, or business unit that the mentor believes is relevant to the mentee.
• Brokering: Making introductions to powerful, influential, and otherwise useful individuals in the industry or organization.
• Advocating: Promoting the mentee’s work assignments or career development to help the mentee’s growth and development.
• Championing: Listening to the mentee’s interests, passions, and strengths, and encouraging them to ask for what they need to grow.

Mentors will often find themselves in a coaching conversation. This can happen when a goal is not crystal clear, or when a problem is overwhelmingly complex. In these situations, coaching can be used to create clarity. Coaching is a great tool when the mentor does not have enough expertise to add the most value or give advice. Coaching conversations promote discovery, generate insights, and clarify purposeful action for another. When this kind of thing crops up, listen carefully, reflect back what you are hearing, and ask open ended questions. Here are some classic coaching questions that you might deploy, depending on the situation:

• What is most important right now?
• What is working well/not working the way you’d like?
• What is getting in your way/stopping you?
• What is driving you/sustaining you?
• What are you assuming here?
• What belief might not be serving you?
• What are you resisting?
• What are you allowing/tolerating?
• How have you contributed to this situation?
• How might you change the narrative?
• How are you going to make this decision?
• What question should we be asking right now?

As one recent webinar participant pithily noted, a mentor will answer your questions while a coach will question your answers. Often, it is true that the mentor would rather be the brilliant one with all the answers, while the coach is dedicated to the mentee being the brilliant one. And if the match is made in heaven, you will both be brilliant.

Do these conversations tend to blend together and overlap?  Sure, they do. Ultimately, if you accept that your number one job is to advocate for the mentee’s best self and best interest, you will have to trust yourself and use your good judgment.

I hope your mentoring experience continues to be a positive experience!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a team of seasoned, expert professionals in a fast-growing global company. My boss has told me in no uncertain terms that my biggest priority in the next year is to develop my team and groom a successor.

My biggest obstacle is, although every one of my team members is very good at their job, not a single one of them seems to have any idea how to rise above their day-to-day and see the bigger picture. I’ll give you an example of how this shows up.

I recently gave one of my people—I’ll call her Sharna—the opportunity to present to our executive team, which my boss is part of. It didn’t go well. I laid out the requirements for the presentation, which was two weeks away. I gave her clear direction on what the ET would want to hear about and what and how to think about it going in. I offered as much support as I thought she would need.

The meeting was scheduled for a Monday afternoon. She sent me her initial draft the prior Friday afternoon. I gave her feedback over the weekend and she sent me her final deck a couple of hours before go time.

I knew it wasn’t going to meet the ET’s expectations, but it was so close to the meeting that I thought it would do more harm than good (in terms of her confidence) to get her to make changes at that point. I did provide a few comments and she made some last-minute edits, but there were still typos and some repetition. It wasn’t up to standard at all.

My boss was not happy—and he, quite rightly, blamed me. But Sharna is a seasoned professional and an expert in her field. She had delivered much higher quality work in the past, and I had no reason to think I couldn’t trust her. Did I really need to express to her more clearly how important the presentation was? I thought it was glaringly obvious.

This is just one example. I guess I am expecting all of my people to be able to understand things that I see as self-evident. How do I to get them to think more strategically? I have to somehow get them out of the weeds—but I don’t want to turn them into versions of myself.

My People Are in the Weeds

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Dear My People Are in the Weeds,

Oh dear, this is a can of worms. Essentially, the leadership competency you need to build is Developing Others. As Stan Slap has said (I am paraphrasing; he is so witty), most leaders would prefer to go where they need to go by themselves and then send a postcard to their people saying “wish you were here”—because it’s so much work and so time consuming to get people to see your vision and help them walk the path you need them to walk! The problem is you simply can’t do it all yourself, which is what your boss is trying to get you to see. You must shift from doing everything yourself to getting things done with and through others.

If your people could see what you see, they would have your job. It sounds like you might suffer from a condition I, too, have, which is that if something is obvious to me, I assume it is obvious to everyone else. Big mistake.

So you and your people all need to develop some new skills. On top of the 24/7 scrum of day-to-day work, it feels like a lot. Because it is.

For you, this will mean getting crystal clear about your expectations. And don’t stop repeating them until you see evidence that each person not only understands them but also has a plan to figure out how to meet them.

This will require patience and diligence on your part. Expect it to be tedious. You are addressing people who have been successful their entire careers because of their subject matter expertise and their ability to get things done. You are asking them to think differently and step out of their comfort zone, which takes practice. And it is scary for people when they are asked to try new things they know they aren’t good at.

To help them think bigger picture, your people need to understand what the executive leadership team is thinking about, their immediate concerns, the problems they are trying to solve, and the threats they see coming at the organization that are keeping them up at night. If your CEO is not sharing all of that intel regularly, it really is your job to relay anything you know to your team. The more you do that on a regular basis, the more your people will develop the habit of paying attention to how their job connects to the bigger picture. You just cannot expect them to tear their eyeballs away from their day-to-day tasks and look to the horizon unless you are directing their gaze there.

Regarding the presentation, I agree that the lack of thoughtfulness and preparation was clearly not where it needed to be. We all know that there is simply no substitute for preparation and time to iterate and practice. You might just get curious and check in with Sharna with some questions. Something along the lines of: “What happened? I expected more preparation and for you to allow time for iteration and you came in hot. Is there something going on I should know about?”

Is it possible she has an issue with presentation skills? Subject matter expertise is critical, of course, but taking into consideration who is in the audience, what they need to take away from the presentation, and how they prefer to consume information is a whole skill in itself. You might turn her on to the work of Nancy Duarte, who helps people master the art of using data to tell a story and shape information so that it connects to their chosen audience. She has multiple excellent books and workshops.

I hear your concern about not wanting to micromanage people so they simply parrot what you want them to say. I have heard this from many leaders. But here’s the thing: If people knew how to do what you want them to do, they would be doing it. So be specific about what you want, teach them if you have to, and stay alongside them until they can fly solo. They are still going to be themselves and bring their own strengths to the party as they get more comfortable with the task. Don’t worry about turning people into mini-me’s – it won’t happen, I promise.

You are obviously a pro, a high achiever, and a hard worker. You can do this if you think it is important enough.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a fairly new manager for a well established and growing not-for-profit organization that brings arts education to underserved communities. When we have open positions, we prioritize hiring alumni of our programs.

About nine months ago, I hired a promising alumnus who seemed perfect for an entry level program administration job. She had graduated college with excellent grades, had glowing recommendations, and is a delightful person.

I expected her to take to the job quickly and blow us all away. That hasn’t happened. She just doesn’t seem to be able to retain any information about how to do certain tasks. I keep having to walk her through the directions for tasks every time, even though I have done it repeatedly.

The purpose of hiring someone for this position was to free me up to do other critical tasks—but I am spending so much time teaching and re-teaching this person that I now seem to have double the work.

I am frustrated and confused. I can’t tell whether she can’t do the tasks or won’t. I don’t want to make her feel like I’m not happy with her performance (even though I’m not) but I have no idea how to get her to up her game without making her feel criticized.

Any advice would be welcome.

Beginner Stalled at Go

____________________________________________________________

Dear Beginner Stalled at Go,

This sounds frustrating. I am sure your new hire is equally frustrated and confused, because everyone wants to be successful. This sounds like a perfect occasion for you to apply SLII®, our company’s time-tested, research-based development model.

Essentially, SLII® helps managers and direct reports break down all goals and tasks, diagnose the competence and confidence of the employee in relation to each task, and then identify exactly what kind of leadership style is needed. You can watch a little video that describes it here and download a cool e-book about it here.

In the language of SLII®, your alumnus—Let’s call her A for the sake of clarity—is stuck at Development Level One, “Enthusiastic Beginner.” She seems to believe she needs to come back to you for clear direction for every task, every time. What could be going on? Is it that she can’t build competence or is it her confidence that is lacking? Here are some ideas:

• It’s possible A has a learning disability she hasn’t shared with you and is somehow not able to retain your instructions. You can’t really ask without insulting someone (“what’s wrong with you?” never lands well) but some questions (see below) may help to surface an issue like this. If a learning disability is, in fact, present, you might consider having A take notes when you give instructions and send them to you for editing so she has written instructions for next time.
• Maybe A doesn’t believe she is ready to do things on her own. She thinks she knows what to do and how to do it, but still needs permission from you to try it and some reassurance that it will be okay if she makes an error or two. Sometimes young people new to the workplace just need permission to go for it.
• Perhaps A isn’t crystal clear that you expect her to do things on her own yet. I know it sounds crazy, but I worked for a lovely man long ago who kept saying “we need to get this done and that done,” and he would go down the list of everything we needed to do. I kept waiting for him to come to me and get my help with all of things on the list. After a couple of weeks, I asked him how he thought things were going and he said, “I am confused, I keep asking you to do all of these things, and you seem eager, but then you don’t do any of them.” I was shocked. I told him I was waiting for him (he was, after all, the boss) to initiate the tasks “we” needed to do, but it turned out that every time he had said “we.” what he really meant was “you.” I guess he didn’t want to sound bossy—but he was so indirect, I didn’t understand what he wanted. I was young and was used to being bossed around by teachers, bosses, parents. Today I would just say, “do you actually mean ‘we,’ or are you telling me to do it?” But that is the beauty of being older.

We can speculate all day long, but ultimately you are going to have to ask A what is going on. Let go of your judgment and pre-conceptions and gently ask the questions. They might go something like this:

• I have explained how this task needs to get done several times now, which is okay. However, I had anticipated that you would be able to do it on your own at this point. Can you help me to understand what is getting in the way of that?
• Is it possible that the way I have explained this is not clear enough?
• Would it be helpful for me to create written instructions for some of these tasks?
• Is there something I am doing or saying that leads you to believe that I don’t trust you to do this task on your own?
• What would give you the confidence you need to do this task on your own?
• What do you need from me that you are not getting?
• Are you worried you will make a mistake? I expect that you will make mistakes—that’s okay. I will show you the little spots where errors are likely to occur and what to watch out for.

The key is for you to kindly share your expectations for how she should be progressing and ask her how you can craft a plan to help her get there. Pretending everything is fine is not going to get either of you anywhere.

So bite the bullet and raise the issue. The sooner you do, the sooner you will know what’s what.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Aloha Madeleine,

I’m currently a Human Resources director in the hospitality industry. I believe right now, more than ever, our industry needs strong coaches.

What resources can you share to help me strengthen these skills through self-learning? Any suggestions you have would be most welcome! Mahalo!

Want to Be a Better Coach

________________________________________________________________

Dear Want to Be a Better Coach,

Well, thanks for asking. What a fun question. Where to begin? Why not with your greeting? I looked up the meaning of Aloha, because I had always heard that it meant so much more than hello or goodbye, and I found this:

“Aloha is an essence of being: love, peace, compassion, and a mutual understanding of respect. Aloha means living in harmony with the people and land around you with mercy, sympathy, grace and kindness. When greeting another person with aloha, there is mutual regard and affection. This extends with warmth in caring for the other, with no obligation to receive anything in return. The direct translation from Hawaiian to English is the presence of divine breath. The Hawaiian word alo is presence, front, and face, and ha is breath.

Choosing to step into the spirit of Aloha would be a very good place to start because it is so close to what I think of as the Coaching Mindset. The Coaching Mindset is the willingness to put yourself at service to someone else. As a discipline, coaching requires us to be aware of and manage our natural tendencies and to self-regulate to create an environment in which another can stay totally focused on their own thought process, enjoy new insights, and feel galvanized to take action.

So many people think that coaching is about giving advice or telling others what to do. What we know is that the best use of coaching is to develop people by evoking their own brilliance, connecting to their own motivation, and empowering them to take the action that will most likely help them achieve their goals.

If you ask 10 people, you will get 10 different definitions of coaching. Here is how we define it:

Coaching is a deliberate process that uses focused conversations that create an environment in which an individual will experience accelerated performance and development. It is a relationship between an individual, small group, or team and a coach, driven by specific objectives and expected outcomes. Coaching helps people identify and focus on what they can do to achieve their goals. It supports deep insights and promotes clear thinking and thoughtful, targeted action.

I highly recommend that even as you say you want to be a better coach, you define exactly what that means to you. Ask yourself:

• Who do you want to be a better coach for?
• For what purpose?
• What will you offer people as a coach?
• How will they know what to ask for and how to ask for it?
• How will you know you are successful as you improve?

We break down the journey to coaching competence as understanding and developing a coaching mindset, refining some key skills, and learning a solid, replicable coaching process.

• Mindset. What is your purpose as a coach? What are your natural tendencies, opinions, agendas/judgments, or core needs that will get in your way; for example: your need to be right, your need to show you have the answers, your opinions about the person or the organization, your tendency to interrupt? Are there any other habits that might get in your way?
• Skill Set. Much has been written about coaching skills, so I am not going to belabor that topic here. What I will say (that no one else really seems to be saying) is that the number one skill to work on is self-regulation. Until you master your natural tendencies to have the answer, tell people what to do, interrupt, and ask questions to satisfy your own curiosity instead of sparking insight for the other person, none of the other skills matter. The traditional skills are listening, asking questions, goal setting, challenging, and creating accountability. The ICF website has an exhaustive list of competencies.
• Process. There are many versions of coaching processes out there and most of them are fine. Don’t be fooled by any process that promises you a clean, linear path, because it will fail you. Humans process thoughts and feelings more like pinballs than arrows—you need whatever process you use to accommodate that reality.

Resources I can point you to? Yikes. The field is crowded and attracting new entrants every day.

I can’t honestly pretend that I don’t think our one-day Coaching Essentials training isn’t tops. (Hello? I am one of the authors.) I have been teaching coaching skills in organizations since 1995. I also wrote a book with Linda Miller called Coaching in Organizations. It is an oldie but it has a bunch of good, timeless info on process, skills, and all the different ways coaching can be leveraged in organizations.

There is a crazy amazing resource I love: The Library of Professional Coaching. It is a beautifully organized treasure trove for coaches at all levels.

Another organization to check out is WBECS—The World Business and Executive Coaching Summit. They host a coaching summit every year that offers extraordinary value to coaches at all levels. They invite the who’s who of the coaching world to present and share the latest topics of interest and it is very high quality stuff.

There are a bunch of different associations for coaches, and I am familiar with only one: The International Coaching Federation. It is the biggest and oldest, and it has the greatest reach. If you decide to do a full coach training program (which I recommend long term if you love it), make sure you do one that is accredited by the ICF.

I am buried in books on coaching. There are so darn many, but my current faves are:

• Coach the Person; Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds
• Michael Bungay Stanier’s two books, The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap. Those two books are so good I wish I had written them. That is about the highest praise I can think of.
• An oldie that I just took off the dusty shelf and am still impressed by is Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills by Tony Stoltzfus.
• One of my blogs from 2017 has more info on books, including some recommendations from our Blanchard coaches: 9 Books on Coaching that Coaches Need to Know About

And that’s just to get you started, heh heh.

In short, start with the spirit of Aloha. Then shut up, listen, and inquire to spark insight (theirs, not yours). You will be amazed at the magic those few steps can create.

So “Noʻu ka hauʻoli”—Google tells me that means “the pleasure is mine.” You are most welcome. And Aloha to you!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I was promoted to VP of sales a few months before the pandemic hit. I feel like I have been in an industrial washing machine ever since, and am just starting to come up for air. There was a lot of training at the beginning but then our entire book of business and go-to-market strategies shifted. It has been mayhem, but things are starting to settle now.

I have an amazing team. I physically moved in order to take over a new region, so all of my people are relatively new colleagues, which is nice. About two years ago, our company changed CRM (Customer Relationship Management) systems. [Note: This is the system that sales leaders and marketing use to gain visibility into prospects, contact info, opportunities/pipeline, forecasting, account plans, competitive intelligence, etc.]

The new system is fine; not any worse or better than the old one. My people have figured out how to make it work for them and comply with requirements. But there are exceptions.

One sales rep, who creates amazing relationships with his customers and crushes his quota, cannot for the life of him get his info into the system. It’s great when he suddenly brings in huge projects, but then there is a scramble to deliver on the contract. Then there’s another rep who puts everything into the system beautifully but can’t seem to get anything done other than that—and she certainly can’t close.

My boss is giving me a hard time about both of them, but very little guidance on how to get them to where they need to be. Thoughts?

CRM Conundrum

______________________________________________________________________________

(If you missed last week’s blog, Part 1 of the response can be found here. This is Part 2 of the response.)

Dear CRM Conundrum,

Last week we discussed how to deal with the rep who won’t use the CRM. Now let’s take a look at the other two situations you are dealing with.

1. One rep who is very good at CRM management but doesn’t seem to know how to actually sell.
2. A boss who isn’t very helpful.

Your rep who can’t sell probably needs some training on mechanics as well as a ton of support to boost her confidence. If she already has been through training, and can tell you what she should be doing but can’t seem to do it, you have a confidence issue. Perhaps she used to be good at selling and something happened that made her start doubting herself.  

However, if she’s never been successful, she probably doesn’t know exactly what to do and how to do it. Whatever your company’s sales training is, she will need to attend. She will also need super clear direction from you, and then extra time. If you can attend some of her sales calls with her as a fly on the wall and then give her feedback, that would be ideal. Or, if she could tag along with some of your superstars and see how they do it, that would also be great.

In the last post, I floated the idea that this rep might apprentice with your sales rock star who can’t (or won’t) use the CRM, and they could tutor each other on their strengths. Role play is also a terrific tool—it is much easier to say certain things if we’ve practiced.

If she was once great and lost her mojo, you’ll need to ask some open-ended questions to help her talk things through so that you can gain some insight into what is getting in her way. Ask questions like:

• What happened that shook your confidence?
• What do you think might be going on?
• What might help you get back on track?
• What would be helpful to you right now?
• What kind of help would feel right?

Make sure your employee knows that you are on her side, you really want her to win, and you’ll do anything in your power to help her get there. Help her build a step-by-step action plan that will get her to her goal.

If there is still no improvement over time, just as with your other situation, there will need to be consequences. Not everyone is cut out for sales and it won’t serve you to belabor things. If that is the case, the faster everyone comes to terms with a mismatch, the better off everyone will be.

Now. Let’s talk about the fact that your boss offers neither direction nor support, just a “hard time.” That isn’t a shocker, but it does mean you are probably on your own. If you are like most managers, you were promoted because you were an amazing salesperson, not because you demonstrated skill at managing people. The sad and kind of scary fact is that most managers are in their jobs for ten years before they get any kind of training. You sound like you have great instincts, but why learn by trial and error if you really don’t have to? There is no shortage of brilliant advice out there for new managers. Of course, I think ours is top notch, but I wouldn’t want to limit you. I guarantee your organization has some kind of training available. Attend. Pay attention. Take notes. Formulate intentions and practice new skills.

You are probably thinking you don’t have time. You won’t remember the opportunity cost of the time you took, and you will remember three or four tidbits that will change your work life. Your people will thank you and you won’t regret it. I promise.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I was promoted to VP of sales a few months before the pandemic hit. I feel like I have been in an industrial washing machine ever since, and am just starting to come up for air. There was a lot of training at the beginning but then our entire book of business and go-to-market strategies shifted. It has been mayhem, but things are starting to settle now.

I have an amazing team. I physically moved in order to take over a new region, so all of my people are relatively new colleagues, which is nice. About two years ago, our company changed CRM (Customer Relationship Management) systems. [Note: This is the system that sales leaders and marketing use to gain visibility into prospects, contact info, opportunities/pipeline, forecasting, account plans, competitive intelligence, etc.]

The new system is fine; not any worse or better than the old one. My people have figured out how to make it work for them and comply with requirements. But there are exceptions.

One sales rep, who creates amazing relationships with his customers and crushes his quota, cannot for the life of him get his info into the system. It’s great when he suddenly brings in huge projects, but then there is a scramble to deliver on the contract. Then there’s another rep who puts everything into the system beautifully but can’t seem to get anything done other than that—and she certainly can’t close.

My boss is giving me a hard time about both of them, but very little guidance on how to get them to where they need to be. Thoughts?

CRM Conundrum

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear CRM Conundrum,

I consulted our sales leaders here at Blanchard because I thought these may be common issues that they might have some good experience with. Judd Hoekstra and Sarah Caverhill both weighed in, so I credit them for a lot of this response.

I see 3 different issues in your letter.

1. One rep who crushes the numbers but won’t comply with keeping his data current in the CRM, which causes problems for you as a boss and for others downstream.
2. One rep who is very good at CRM management but doesn’t seem to know how to actually sell.
3. A boss who isn’t very helpful.

Today let’s deal with your sales genius who can’t/won’t comply, I will do a Part 2 later to address the other two issues.

There is an old New Yorker Cartoon of a guy in his underwear, smoking a cigarette and holding a martini at the water cooler, who says to another guy, “When you’re nailing the numbers, they don’t ask questions.” I bought a print and gave to our (then) VP of sales, but he didn’t think it was as funny as I did. I guess I have a really sick sense of humor. And until the advent of the now universally used CRM, I think it was kind of true that when sales reps would hit their goals, nobody much cared about how they did it or anything else. Your sales wiz is probably a bit of a holdover from those days. There is a progression to think through on this:

Get Clear About Development Level: What is your sales rep’s development level on using the CRM? In the language of our SLII® Model, development level is a combination of competence and commitment. There is a good chance that your rep hasn’t taken the time to get good at using the CRM because he doesn’t think he has to. The personality profile of people who are terrific at initiating and building terrific relationships that inspire buyers to commit usually does not include attention to detail and compliance with what they might consider to be annoying rules. And in today’s hypercompetitive job landscape, we are asking employees to be good at many skills. Being good at just one aspect of a job is no longer enough. So let’s be clear that you are asking a chicken to climb a tree or a squirrel to lay an egg—it won’t be natural or easy.

Gain Commitment: You are going to have to work with this rep on his willingness to commit to learning, getting good at, and using the CRM. First gain commitment, then get him the instruction and support that he will need to get skilled. How to do this? Explain how important the data is, why the organization requires it, and why you need it. Then set up small, reasonable milestones to get him where he needs to be. Sarah Caverhill shared an experience she had with a rep who refused to use our new CRM:

“I told her I understood she didn’t want to do it and asked her what was getting in her way. We identified a few things like ‘I get too busy in my day to do it’ and ‘I hate it—it’s drudgery.’ I explained that we need the data to run and grow our business. (Garbage in, garbage out—you want us to provide more resources? Then you need to do your part to help us see what’s coming down the pike. You want better project manager performance? Then you need to prepare your PMs with better info. And so forth.) I asked her if she understood the importance and she said she did. I then asked her what she could do to remove the things that were getting in her way and adjust her motivational outlook. We came up with several ideas. Eventually, she settled on one idea, which was to allocate 15 minutes each morning to updating the CRM before she started work. From that time on—and we’re talking years—I never had an issue with her opps being out of date. Sometimes the information was sort of a guess, but it was reliably input and often more accurate than I had expected.”

Be Fierce with Accountability and Enforce Consequences: If your sales rep simply refuses, you have a whole other problem. It sounds like he has gotten away with noncompliance thus far and is pretty sure that if he just ignores the situation, it will go away. If that is the case, you will have to discuss it with your boss and make a decision. There is probably a historical precedent in your organization that high performers can do whatever they want (in sales, especially, this is epidemic). So you need to choose to either perpetuate that culture or shift it—now. If you choose to perpetuate it, you will agree to let your rep not comply. Be aware that this will create issues of fairness if it hasn’t already: why do some people get away with bad behavior while others do not? All humans are hypersensitive to issues of fairness and will resent you for any preferential treatment you offer to anyone. On the flip side, you will have to come up with consequences for noncompliance, for which you are willing to hold both yourself and him accountable. This sets you up to be the compliance police, jury, judge, and parole officer, which will be a massive bummer—but that’s why managers make the big bucks. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

Any system of requirements/consequences for noncompliance will work as long as you commit to it and take action according to plan. The final result could very well be that your rep will lose his job. This is why you need your boss to have your back. And, of course, it would hurt you to lose his numbers, so you will need to figure out how to cover your loss.

Judd Hoekstra says: “This is probably one of the more draining aspects of the sales leader role, because it’s ongoing unless there is alignment on tough consequences (like losing your job) for noncompliance.”

I will cover the other two issues next week, because this answer is already too long. I will float one more idea, though: Would it make sense to pair your sales rock star with your data tracking rock star? Pair a chicken with a squirrel? Have one show the other how it’s done? Is anyone else thinking that could be a good idea? Of course, then you would have a potentially fraught compensation formula to calculate.

Isn’t sales leadership fun? I admire all of you, honestly—I couldn’t take the heat.

More next week.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

With all of the change and disruption in today’s world, leaders are being asked to lead their teams through new situations never navigated in modern history. It can be overwhelming when everyone is looking to you for the answers. Leaders can take a cue from the coaching world on serving people and meeting them exactly where they are. Here are five things that can help you coach in a challenging time.

1. Remember, the person you are coaching is resourceful and innovative. They don’t need to be fixed, but they may need a nudge to mentally reframe their current situation. I recently coached a colleague who was dealing with all the requisite WFH challenges. She had all the tools and resources she needed, but couldn’t see them through the haze of “newness.” She came up with a structure and a plan. Now she’s on track to be highly effective and is feeling much more in control.
2. You don’t have to have all the answers. Yep, this is Coaching 101—and worth remembering. This week, a client came to her coaching session upset over, well, everything. She couldn’t get in to see her dad, who is in assisted living. Her 19-year-old son was insisting on going on spring break out of the country, her husband was now sharing her office, her grocery store was out of toilet paper, and her company was suffering the first round of layoffs in memory. Through coaching, she was able to reframe and reprioritize. She’s now focusing on the positive actions she can take and finding ways to let go of the things she can’t control. For a great book on reframing, check out Judd Hoekstra’s Crunch Time.
3. You need to take care of yourself. Psychological resilience is the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly. Taking care of yourself may look like finding new ways to exercise, talking to a therapist, sticking to good habits, or just giving yourself a break to have a mini meltdown and then get over it. Make sure you are checking in with yourself and giving yourself the same loving care you give to your team members. One of my colleagues practices meditation. She says it keeps her calm, focused, and yes—resilient. Find the ways that work best for you, and keep at it.
4. You have adapted, and can adapt, to change. Yes things will change. Yes there will be loss and there will be opportunity. “New normal” might look very different in four or six weeks and beyond. The truth is that ALL change, whether rapid or not, will eventually settle. We humans are pretty darned good at adapting. Trust yourself that you will be, too. My 91-year-old dad saw more change in his lifetime than I had ever realized. Before he passed on (a change in itself) he summarized for his kids some of the changes he lived through: The war to end all wars, the invention of television, common use of the telephone (and the mobile phone), desktop computers, hemlines, women in the workplace, hairstyles (although he stuck to his wonderful brush cut), the beginning of equal rights, the Berlin wall coming down, families with more than one car in the driveway, putting a man on the moon, the Great Depression and the world recovery that followed, fast food, the five-dollar cup of coffee, and a whole host of other things. He said the only thing that hadn’t changed was that old guys like him still wore suspenders. My dad didn’t like change, but he could sure adapt!
5. It’s all going to be okay. Whether you call it faith, self-determinism, hope, or belief in humankind, the label doesn’t matter as much as what does: we are all going to be okay. Find this belief in yourself. Share it. Spread it. Contribute to it. Take a deep breath, then six more. Keep breathing. We ARE all in this together. And together we will move into a post-Covid-19 world.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

During my time as a coach, I have often utilized SWOT analyses to help teams analyze their organization’s Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. This is a simple, user-friendly method to help a team or a board focus on key issues affecting their business. This type of analysis often can be used as a precursor to a more comprehensive strategic planning session.

One benefit of the SWOT process is that it encourages teams to not only brainstorm ideas but also face untapped opportunities and potential threats. Consistent use of this framework can give an organization a competitive advantage through dialogue regarding brand, culture, new products or services, and capabilities.

What some people don’t realize, though, is that SWOT analysis can also be an effective personal strategic planning tool. Crafting your personal SWOT matrix is a powerful technique that can be used, for example, when you are seeking a career change or facing a major shift in your life.

Here are three steps to get started:

Step 1 – Identify what exists now. List all strengths that exist now. List all weaknesses that exist now. Be honest.

Step 2 – Look to the future. List all opportunities (potential strengths) that may exist in the future. List all threats (potential weaknesses) that may occur in the future.

Step 3 – Create a matrix/get a plan. Enter your ideas in the appropriate quadrant (see figure). Notice that strengths and weaknesses are internal forces; opportunities and threats are external. See how each quadrant has a relationship with another? What strengths exist that could overcome weaknesses? What weaknesses need to be overcome in order to embrace a new opportunity? Review your matrix and think about a plan.

Here are a few helpful questions to increase your awareness around internal and external factors:

• What skills and capabilities do you have?
• What qualities, values, or beliefs make you stand out from others?
• What are the skills you need to develop?
• What personal difficulties do you need to overcome to reach your goal?
• What external influences or opportunities can help you achieve success?
• Who could support you to help you achieve your objectives?
• What external influences may hinder your success?

A SWOT matrix can provide a foundation to help you create goals and action steps. You may consider addressing your weaknesses by building skills or self-leadership capabilities. Carefully review your opportunities, as they may be used to your advantage. And consider how threats could be minimized or eliminated by shifting personal priorities or gaining new knowledge.

It’s common for people to experience blind spots around their own strengths and weaknesses, so don’t hesitate to seek out opinions from friends, family members, and colleagues. Also, be willing to share your SWOT matrix with a partner who will hold you accountable for action steps and celebrate your progress.

Best of luck—and happy personal planning!

About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

If someone asks my opinion about their organization making a shift to a coaching culture, I won’t say “think again, my friend”—but I will say “let’s think this through before you go spending a lot of money on consultants and a lot of time and energy rallying the troops.”

Who am I to say anything? I am a passionate advocate for all things coaching. I have devoted the last thirty years of my life to the ideas and technologies that have emerged from the birth and maturity of the coaching profession. I am a champion for leveraging coaching professionals in all areas of life and work. I have created classes and taught managers and leaders to apply coaching tools to increase their effectiveness with their people. I have taught coaching skills, the coaching mindset, and variations of coaching processes to HR and OD professionals—folks who are tasked with being mentors in organizations. I have spent the last twenty-five years deploying coaching in diverse forms in companies all over the world. And I have worked with several organizations seeking to implement a coaching culture.

Here are a few things nobody (except me) will tell you about creating a coaching culture:

Culture Change Is a Very Big Deal

Creating a coaching culture is culture change. That statement alone should make any experienced organizational citizen pause and cringe. It is not unlike asking an individual human being to change—to literally alter their personality. And we all know how rarely that succeeds. Culture change is huge and it is difficult. It takes years of dedicated—actually, let’s go ahead and call it obsessive—focus. And never mind senior level support: if the CEO isn’t frothing at the mouth to make it happen, forget it. In fact, the CEO will need to fire any senior executive who isn’t walking the talk, and for that they will most likely need Board approval. Do you see the problem here? There just isn’t a way to do it halfway. It’s all or nothing, from the very top to the guy who delivers the water.

A Coaching Culture Is Not for Everyone

Each organization must define what coaching culture means to them. I can tell you what I think it means but that won’t help you; it will only give you ideas. Many organizations I’ve worked with became so bogged down trying to get agreement on the definition that the effort actually died of its own weight before it got past the first stage. Other organizations, through their efforts to define and distinguish exactly what kind of culture they wanted and needed to succeed, realized they did need culture change—but the culture they needed was not a coaching culture. It was something else. I considered this outcome a success.

Coaching Is Service

The dirty little secret of coaching that nobody really talks about is this: being an effective coach involves being a better person. Asking people to coach is quite literally asking people to become the absolutely best part of themselves. Many people are drawn to being a coach. Many describe it as a calling. And this is accurate—because coaching is a form of service. It requires the coach to practice enormous self-regulation and demonstrate a highly refined way of relating to others. It requires the coach to put aside all distraction and be fully present in service to another. It requires the coach to manage their impulses to interrupt, solve the problem, or give the answer. These things are much easier for a professional whose only agenda is the success of the individual they are coaching. To do this as a manager or a leader—to constantly balance the needs of the organization, the team, and the individual—requires a very special kind of person. Most people who are successful in organizations are successful precisely because they do have good answers, they do forge ahead, they do solve problems, and they do not let the development of others get in their way. So for them to shift to a coaching culture, we are literally asking these folks to stop the behaviors that have made them successful and exchange them for behaviors that will make others successful. The top sales manager who crushes the numbers every year by scaring the living crap out of his people cannot be exempt. Good luck with that, my friend.

Every Employee MUST Buy In to the Culture

A coaching culture only works if every single individual contributor is fully engaged, bought in, and ready to give 100% to the job. This might seem obvious, but it must be said: for coaching to succeed, the players have to want to be coached. They have to have a strong desire to grow, develop, and improve. They have to be eager for feedback. They have to have a deep locus of control. And these are all traits the organization will need to hire for—they cannot be instilled in people. They can, however, be coaxed from folks who have been beaten into numb submission by nasty, stupid, or just plain careless managers. So a certain number of employees will need to be asked to leave and replaced. Can you imagine a more unpopular reality?

For a long time, coaching was a fad. I am thrilled to report that it seems to be here to stay. But I want to be clear: creating a coaching culture in an organization isn’t a quick fix, and it isn’t easy.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

For most, if not all organizations, their employees are their number one asset. This makes the wellbeing, the engagement of employees very important. Why?  Because engaged employees are passionate about their work.  They strive to provide superior customer service, solve problems, and find innovative approaches. 

A great way to generate a significant positive affect on employee engagement is through individualized attention and one way to get started is through coaching.

Every employee in an organization is different.  Coaching is a wonderful way to give employees individualized, customized attention.  Coaching is uniquely tailored for the person being coached. A coach works with an individual to understand what make them tick—to understand the employee’s own strengths and work passion.  Coaching helps to draw out employees’ ideas and opinions and helps employees to discover how to best make their own contribution.  It makes employees feel valued and appreciated.  All this attention gets employees to engage more in their own career.

Is engagement an issue in your organization? Consider some of these ways a coach provides individualized attention to those they serve.

A coach:

• Takes the time to build rapport with those they coach to get a sense of who they are, not just what they do. Great rapport often increases employees’ motivation to work hard in their role and on the goals of the organization.
• Values employees’ contributions and cares about their professional success.  This in turn often empowers them to take more ownership of their own continued development.
• Cares about the individual, working with them to understand their strengths and foster greater development. 
• Checks in with those they coach to see what is working, what isn’t, and what might the employee do different in the future.

Coaching gets clients to engage more in their role, their development, and the goals of the organization. When employees receive coaching, they feel positively supported and valued by their organization which in turn generates and builds more engagement. 

Engagement has been shown to increase retention, innovation, and performance, and as a byproduct, revenue.  What organization wouldn’t welcome that?

When people feel that their manager cares about their development their commitment and energy increases. This leads to growth, increases their confidence, and helps them to reach their full potential. Use a coach approach to individualize attention, either by hiring outside coaching or developing those capabilities in-house. Individualized attention pays off for the individual and the organization.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I started my career in marketing and had some great jobs, but I really became interested in the people side of things after being trained in communication and working in teams. 

My graduate studies were in Organizational Development.  I am still at the first job I was offered—in HR as a trainer—but I just don’t like it. Most employees don’t seem to really care about training and it is always up to me to try to make it interesting for them. 

I now realize that what I really am is a coach. I wish I had a graduate degree in coaching instead of OD.  How can I tell if I would be a good coach?  How do I know if I would like it better than being a trainer? How would you recommend I proceed?

Missed the Boat?

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear Missed the Boat,

I get a lot of letters asking about this as well as a lot of requests for informational interviews from people who are thinking of becoming coaches, so your questions are timely. 

What is coaching, really? It depends on who you ask.  It might be easier to define what coaching isn’t. Coaching isn’t giving people feedback, telling them what to do, or teaching or training them. Coaching isn’t a matter of simply listening really well and asking some questions. 

Our organization defines coaching as “A deliberate process using focused conversations to create an environment that results in accelerated performance and development.” 

Coaching requires partnership and dialogue. Ideally, both parties learn from the experience. Many think that coaching is about giving advice. In fact, a coach can offer ideas and suggestions but generally guides clients through their own decision process.  One of the reasons I do this column is because I really don’t give much advice in my work, but it is so much fun to do it!

How can I tell if I would be a good coach? Good coaches are collaborative by nature. They want the best for their clients and see them as capable and creative. They trust others to solve problems and make decisions.  The professional organization I am most familiar with is the International Coach Federation (ICF), which is the oldest and largest professional association for coaches. The ICF has developed a thorough list of competenciess that can help you understand where your development gaps might be.

Where do I begin if I think I want to pursue being a professional coach?  The ICF website (www.coachfederation.org) is an excellent source of information about all aspects of embarking on a coaching career. If you decide to go forward, you will need to go through a coach training program.  There are a lot of programs to choose from, many of which offer a lot of flexibility and a nice mix of in-person and online training.  Attend all informational programs and really do your research before you decide on a training program. There are a lot of scams out there where people promise the moon but the program doesn’t really deliver.  Get references—find people who have attended the programs that appeal to you and talk to them.  And stay away from any program that uses high-pressure selling techniques to get you to sign up.

You might also be interested in my list of Nine Books on Coaching that Coaches Need to Know About. The first few on the list, especially Co-Active Coaching, are key fundamental coaching texts.

Many credentialed coaches complain that anyone can hang up a shingle and say they are a coach, and this is true.  What many people can’t do is get through an accredited training program, jump through the hoops to get their credential, stay on top of their own professional development, and build a thriving practice of clients who will refer them to others.

Can I make a living as a coach? Yes, but don’t quit your day job. Give yourself a reasonable timeline and get used to the idea that you have to market yourself. Having a background in marketing should help you, because building a thriving practice takes a fair amount of work. Okay, a lot of work.  It will also help your credibility if you lean on your professional experience. Since you are already working in an organization, you might be able to become an internal coach where you are—consider discussing this possibility with your boss. I have seen some situations where an organization has funded coach training for some of their HR people. 

The thing most people won’t tell you is that to be successful as a coach you have to be able to attract clients, retain your clients, and thrill them to the point that they refer people to you.  So you must get really, really good at it and be impeccably professional. This will take some diligence and some time.

Coaching is a deeply rewarding career. The coaching mindset and skills translate beautifully to mentoring, managing, parenting, and building a terrific life for yourself. It will involve a steep learning curve and some intense personal development, which is not always expected but always necessary. It will take longer than you think it should, and it will be harder, too—but then that is true of most things.

I wish you good luck on your coaching adventure.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Left to my own natural tendencies, I’m part of the second group. When I’m chatting with a coworker or hanging out by the proverbial water cooler, after about five minutes I get the itch to get back to my “real” work.

But over the years I’ve recognized that in most cases, the most successful leaders are the ones who are all about building connections.

Several years ago, I spent a week working at our local sports arena during the Davis Cup tennis tournament. We were told parking at the arena would be limited, so I carpooled with a coworker named Dan. Turns out Dan had once worked at the arena and still knew a lot of the staff.

The first two days of work were spent preparing for the main event. Dan was able to park in front in a VIP section. Every day when we got there, Dan would stop and chat with different parking attendants about their work and life. Dan had obtained several Davis Cup commemorative pins that were very sought after, and he made sure to give a pin to each of the attendants he talked with. I noticed what Dan was doing but could only think about how I wanted to get inside and start working.

On the third day, the crowds increased and the parking lot was quite full. As Dan drove into the VIP section, a parking attendant he didn’t know told him he didn’t have the right credentials to park there. Another attendant immediately ran up to tell the first attendant it was okay. We parked in the VIP section each day for the rest of the tournament.

I never got the impression that Dan was chatting with the attendants and giving them the pins only to secure VIP parking. To me, this story is a concrete example of the power of connection.

Think you could use a little more connection in your life?  Here are three ways to get started:

1. See building connections as a valuable part of your job. I mentioned to one very successful senior leader I coached that it sounded like she spent half her time building relationships.  She agreed, but then said it really should be 90 percent of her time!
2. Regularly get up and away from your computer or other electronic devices. Go hang out by the coffee cart, invite someone to walk with you to the vending machines, drop by to say hi to a colleague, or—for the very brave—schedule some lunches. Although initiating contact might not feel natural, most people find it to be a pleasant experience.
3. Listen more than you talk. I don’t think it’s an accident that many people who don’t regularly connect happen to be introverted—maybe even shy.  The reality is that building connections often means listening to those you are connecting with.  If you are a generally shy person, think up a couple of questions you can ask, if you need to, to start a conversation.  Ask a question such as ”How was your weekend?” or “Did you see the big game?”  And then just listen.

With a little practice, you can learn to be a master at connecting, too!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

As a professional coach, I often give feedback to my clients. I also give feedback to coaches I work with who are delivering coaching to our Blanchard clients. I’ve learned four valuable lessons that can make feedback something to be treasured rather than feared.

Lesson 1: What you believe is as important as what you say. If I’m annoyed with someone for flubbing up in front of a client, and now I’m in the hot seat hoping to save an account, I’m likely to rain down on my team with fire and brimstone. Oops! I’ve just terrified everyone into flight or freeze. On the other hand, if I genuinely believe people don’t make mistakes on purpose, I’m more likely to explore with my team what happened and how we might recover—and treat the mistake as a learning moment. In this way, we have participated together in a genuine learning experience that will help the team grow and keep them from making the same mistake again.

Lesson 2: Assume the best. This is a riff on lesson 1. Assume your team wants to perform well. Assume mistakes will be made. Help your team understand when to get you involved and give them the autonomy to make course corrections without you.

Lesson 3: Be specific in your redirection.  It’s not enough to point out a mistake. The mistake is often obvious. What’s sometimes not so clear is exactly what you want them to do differently in the future. For example, I recently told one of my team members that it wasn’t necessary to send a long introductory communication to a new client. But then he kept doing it.  I learned he interpreted my “not necessary” as meaning “Okay to do if it makes you feel good.”  What I should have said to him was “Don’t send an email with the same information that has already been sent. Let’s craft together a better message for you to send.”

Lesson 4: Water the flowers. You read that right. Watering the flowers is a metaphor for recognizing the hard work your team is putting in. Thank them often, and publicly. Be specific here, too—acknowledge what’s going well. As Ken Blanchard says, praise is free. And, like flowers in the rain, we thrive when we get enough.

How do these four lessons support a coach approach?  Because to be a great coach you have to know your own mind and adjust, flex, and control your thoughts (some would call this emotional intelligence). Giving feedback is life’s blood to a coach. Without the ability to do so, we would simply be cheerleaders for our clients—which would be fun but not nearly as effective. And as coaches, we are in service to our clients. We do what needs to be done in order to help the client grow, learn, and achieve desired outcomes. Don’t we owe that to our teams, too?

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a trainer in a call center. It is fast, loud, and chaotic—and I love it. I take total newbies and train them to start at the most basic levels.

Once they leave me, they go on to other trainers who train them in more specialized work. They all have managers who, in theory, are supposed to give them feedback. The problem is that managers have anywhere from 20-30 direct reports at any given time and there is no way on earth for them to monitor everyone.

As I walk around, I hear my former students making basic errors and I can’t stand it. My problem is that my desire to correct them is almost out of my control. I heard one big error happening the other day, so I stuck my nose in and gave some feedback, nicely. The next thing I knew, that person’s manager (a peer, technically) was upset and complained to their own boss … well, big mess.

Should I just let people make mistakes? I trained these people in the first place, so I feel a certain pride in their performing well. Am I too much of a perfectionist? How should I handle this?

Once a Trainer

Dear Once a Trainer,

As a person who often calls in to call centers, I thank you for your commitment! I could tell you to let it go, that it isn’t worth the hassle, but I am not sure you could live with that.

The other option is to try to shift the training culture in the organization. The first step is to discuss your concerns with your own boss. See if they can use their influence to position you and other basic trainers as roving monitors 100 percent of the time. I can’t imagine that the senior leaders in the organization would object to all employees keeping an eye on quality at all times. You can also socialize the idea with other managers who are your peers, making it clear that your intention is not to step on anyone’s toes but to maintain the quality of the customer experience.

Even if you can’t get buy-in, you could position your role as basic trainer and giver of feedback for all operators always. Tell your newbies that even when they leave you, if you overhear them you will give them feedback—either praising or redirection—for the duration, as that is your job. That way, all of your trainees will expect feedback from you and won’t go running to their managers when you give it. The biggest problem will arise if you give feedback that is different from what another manager would give—so make sure the processes and procedures are clear and consistent. If your feedback is based on your opinion and the person’s manager’s opinion is different … well, big mess.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

For the leaders I coach, much of their workday moments are spent in email, in meetings, or tap, tap, tapping on their cellphones. Also competing for their attention are one-on-one interactions with clients, colleagues, and direct reports. It’s easy for them to be anything but focused in the present moment.

That said, I think most people will agree that being as present as possible, in the here and now, is valuable. We’ve all experienced having someone be fully present with us, really focused on what we had to say. It’s quite energizing. When we strive to be more in the present we give a gift not only to people we interact with, but also ourselves.

How about you? Could a little more mindfulness help in your interactions with others? Here are a few points to keep in mind.

• Knowing about mindfulness is not practicing mindfulness. I’ve heard a lot of people say, “Oh, mindfulness, sure, I know what that is.” Then they dismiss it like it’s old news. But in reality, they may have never tried practicing mindfulness.

• Mindfulness is a learned habit anyone can acquire. Just wanting to be more mindful doesn’t make it so. Instead, we have to be intentional and we have to practice. The good news is that absolutely anything we do can be an opportunity to practice greater awareness.

• If at first you don’t succeed… If you commit to practice mindfulness, you will notice that the mind definitely seems to have a will of its own. What to do? Every time your mind starts to leak away, bring it gently back. Bring your consciousness back to what is taking place in the moment.

• Focus on the present—not the past or future. As we work to be more in the present, we often find ourselves thinking about things that happened in the past or something that may or may not happen in the future. This causes us to unproductively spin our wheels. Mindfulness is about focused attention in the present moment.

It’s not always easy to remember to be mindful. Trust me, I know from experience! But the rewards from being in the here and now—in the present time and in the present space—are plentiful. Any movement toward more mindfulness is better than not trying. If you are interested in learning to be more mindful, the internet is loaded with more information. Give it a try. I would love to hear about your mindfulness experiences.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Here are some commonly overused leadership habits and alternatives we might put in their place.

Giving Advice.  I love Benjamin Franklin’s quote about giving advice: “Wise men don’t need advice.  Fools won’t take it.”  Instead of jumping to give advice, consider asking questions to draw out the brilliance of the other person. Facilitate them finding their own answers.  It will require some practice with open-ended questioning and real listening, but doing this keeps the other person front and center in discovering their own wisdom.

Problem Solving.  Instead of sharing your own “winning ways,” consider empowering the other person to find their own answers.  In coaching we call this letting the other person do the heavy lifting.  What’s amazing is that when someone does their own heavy lifting, they are usually much more invested in the actions and outcomes.  No, you didn’t get to provide solutions, but you also didn’t add anything to your own to-do list—which can often happen if you are the problem solver.

Being the Devil’s Advocate.  I used to work for a manager who always played the devil’s advocate.  I knew he did it in an attempt to bring out our best on projects we were working on—but, boy oh boy, was it draining.  Instead, consider Ken Blanchard’s advice and spend your time catching people doing things right. I know when someone catches me doing something right, it feels so good I start thinking about what else I could do to keep that feeling going. And as a friend of mine said, who wants to work for the devil’s advocate, anyway?

Giving advice, problem solving, and helping people consider alternatives all have their place in a manager’s toolkit—just don’t overdo it. Replacing our old tried-and-true ways is never easy.  But if we are willing to consider change, to behave more intentionally, and to be patient with ourselves while we practice, we can empower others like nobody’s business.  They will be grateful and really appreciate to us for what we are often not doing.  And who wouldn’t like to do less and get—and give—more?

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

The leader does the heavy lifting.  To be effective, a coaching conversation must be a two-way discussion.  Both the leader and the person being coached (i.e., the direct report) need to be engaged.  However, if the coachee doesn’t fully participate, it’s easy for the leader to do more of the heavy lifting.  This is like the leader driving a car with the direct report in the back seat, enjoying the ride.  It’s the opposite of what is meant to happen. Both parties must be active participants in the discussion.  When using a coach-like style, the leader’s job is to draw out the brilliance of the person being coached.

The leader creates dependency.  When a leader does all the work, it can create a dependency on the part of the direct report.  For instance, the direct report asks the leader to help with issues they can easily handle themselves—or they delay action or avoid a decision on a task.  In extreme cases, the direct report starts abdicating all decision making to the leader.  When this happens, a leader’s own work time gets eaten up, which can result in their needing to bring home work that could have been completed at the office.

The leader talks when they shouldn’t.  When leaders facilitate a coaching session, some find it hard not to offer up good ideas—especially if the coachee is quietly contemplating what to say. This scenario is fairly common since most people need time to think about a topic before they chime in.  A leader who wants to be more coach-like needs to give people the gift of silence—which is easier said than done.  One tactic I’ve suggested to clients is to envision themselves sitting on their hands versus jumping in to help.  If the coach can stay silent, they are less likely to impart their own knowledge and more apt to draw out brilliance from their direct report.

When appropriate, using a coaching style can be instrumental to the development of others.  When leaders encourage their people to do the work and to come up with their own ideas and solutions, direct reports become engaged and step into their growth, which is a beautiful thing!

Are there any other traps you’ve seen leaders fall into when trying to be more coach-like? Please share in the comments section below!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Blanchard has worked with a number of clients who are using this strategy along with external coaching for executives and senior leaders.

What are the must-have skills and qualities an HRBP needs to be an effective coach?

A desire to serve others. In the coaching world, we call this the C gene. It’s a coaching mindset that is bent toward facilitating learning and growth for others.

Formal training and practice in coaching skills. Anyone can call themselves a coach, but skilled coaching requires formal training and a lot of practice. Great coaches know that continuous learning—honing of the craft of coaching—makes us better able to serve our clients.

A clear directive. A qualified internal coach can answer these questions: Who do I serve? What are the expected outcomes? What responsibility do I have regarding working agreements with the client and the organization?  For example, if an internal coach is coaching an individual and also that person’s manager, whose agenda takes priority? What information can and cannot be shared?

The ability to compartmentalize. When we coach inside an organization, we hear all manner of stories that are juicy, relevant, inspiring, and horrifying.  An internal coach can keep it all in a box without judging the content. A coach is a vessel. We don’t judge. We serve.

Awareness of when to seek external support. Blanchard has trained coaching skills to hundreds of HRBPs in many different industries. HRBPs consistently say it’s hard to coach upward—that senior leaders and executives just won’t open up to an internal coach because it feels too risky.  We also hear that when the HRBP isn’t a good match for the person in need of coaching, the coaching doesn’t work. HRBPs who coach need to know when to leverage outside support.

A good coach can make all the difference for an individual, a department, and an organization.  It’s the thoughtful use of skills in the right place at the right time that will make the HR business partner successful in serving others.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In some places, coaching is still perceived as remedial help but I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that no organization is investing in that anymore. Coaching today is for the high potentials and the most valuable players.

At Blanchard Coaching Services, we coach people in organizations. The people we coach are capable, highly intelligent, and endowed with a remarkable work ethic and a drive to succeed.

Coaching works for these folks because each of our clients sees themselves as a hero or heroine of their own fantastic journey. Their coach is a reminder of who they are and where they are going.  Each of our clients is like Luke Skywalker and their coach is their Yoda.  Anyone up to something truly worthwhile could use a Yoda. Thomas Leonard, one of my many mentors and coaches, once said something that has become a mantra for me: “Anything worth doing is worth getting help with.”

And yet, as a one of the founding members of the International Coach Federation, I am deep in the conversation about how to train Yodas and how to regulate the practice of being Yoda for people.  It is complicated. The public needs to be protected from people without the skills or mindset of an accredited coach. Coaching skills alone are not enough, however, and assessing the competence of coaches is inexact at best.

In an article for Choice magazine entitled Avoiding the Iceberg, my pal Terrie Lupberger writes about the rules that can help a coach do just that.

David Goldsmith, who was my coach at a critical moment in my career, believes that soon, “good enough” coaches will be replaced by artificial intelligence.  He is worried that there is no one teaching good coaches how be great coaches.  Unlike Yoda, we don’t have the option of the benefit of 700 years of experience. Goldsmith defines the masterful coach as someone who has the discernment and judgment to choose the right tool from their massive toolbox to share with the client.

In his article Do Great Coaches Break the Rules? Goldsmith writes: “Most long-standing coaches not only fluidly and fluently dance between the distinctions of coaching, consulting, counseling, and training, they also are constantly customizing solutions and approaches for their clients from an eclectic and deep repertoire of methods, processes, and skills.   The current ‘rules’ don’t include this behavior in the usual definitions of coaching.”

In my own article, What Are We So Afraid of? I outline the polarity between asking and telling that a coach needs to navigate to be of true service to the client.

Food for thought for anyone interested in this ongoing philosophical debate.

As Yoda would say, “Invited are your insights!”

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The current requirements to achieve the designation of Master Certified Coach are 200 hours of coach-specific training, 10 hours of working with an MCC mentor coach, a credible log documenting 2,500 hours of coaching with at least 35 clients, a performance evaluation based on audio recordings and written transcripts of coaching sessions, and the completion of the Coach Knowledge Assessment.

Certainly, 2,500 hours of coaching is a lot of experience. But what does it actually mean? And what should clients expect when they hire a coach who has been designated as a master? What would make it worth the extra money?

A master coach should be able to work with any kind of client, even if the match isn’t perfect. Any good coach will help their client identify goals, map out the steps to achieve them, pinpoint strengths to leverage and weaknesses to mitigate on the journey, and help keep the person on track. The master, however, will ensure that the journey is shorter, more efficient, and fun.

A masterful coach will

• Make the client feel heard and understood
• Leave the client with new learnings that are useful and actionable
• Provide direct but kind feedback when possible
• Tell the truth without blame or judgement
• Share context, information, a new model, or relevant research to help the client think something through or expand perspective
• Be a stickler for professionalism and crystal clear agreements
• Keep the coaching conversation laser focused
• Understand what motivates the client to challenge them effectively
• Meet the client exactly where they are
• Be an advocate and champion for the client’s best self
• Have achieved some kind of success themselves
• Be a Swiss bank vault for confidentiality

Many perfectly adequate coaches will do most of these things. It might be easier to identify a master by what they won’t do.

A masterful coach will not

• Have a pre-determined agenda about who or how the client should be
• Judge or criticize the client
• Get defensive in the face of feedback from the client
• Whip the client into temporary action by using fear or ego to generate adrenaline
• Ask why questions or questions that serve to only satisfy the coach’s curiosity
• Over-focus on the past
• Indulge in philosophizing—or worse, therapy
• Obsess about accountability
• Withhold an opinion or information that might be helpful
• Give specific advice, especially in areas where they are not expert
• Answer the question What would you do?
• Tell the client what to do
• Speculate about other people’s motives
• Get bogged down in the client’s story
• Create dependence on the coach
• Discuss other clients or boast about client successes—or worst case, take credit

A master coach will never forget that every client success is achieved by the client—and as good a coach as they may be, the coach is only as good as the client.

Master coaches are insatiable lifelong learners and are constantly adding to their knowledge and skills. I can’t imagine why anyone would hire a coach who isn’t constantly striving to improve and grow themselves.

The thing that is so hard to pin down, and impossible to teach, is what some might think of as wisdom. The master coach will have deep experience in several disciplines and have the flexibility of intellect and creativity to synthesize seemingly random concepts into useful ideas.

Any client, no matter how accomplished or brilliant, should be able to expect that a Master Certified Coach will be an intellectual equal and an emotionally well-adjusted grownup who takes full responsibility for their own frailties.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

But there are times when using a coaching style is not appropriate—when, in fact, it can be counterproductive and cause the other person to become frustrated.

First let’s look at a couple of instances when coaching is exactly what a manager should do.

• When the team member knows what to do, but needs assurance they are on the right track.
• When the person’s task is not at a critical juncture and there is time for a little trial and error in service of their growth and development.
• When the manager feels confident the direct report has what they need to make good decisions about how to move forward.

On the flipside, managers need to know when the more open-ended, supportive style of coaching does not work. Here are some examples.

• When the task is completely new. If this is the first time the person will be completing a task or goal – regardless of whether they have lots of transferrable skills – they are a learner who needs direction.  Asking them to define what good would look like or to come up with how to get the task done can cause a deer-in-the-headlights reaction.  Additionally, it might cause them to question their ability but keep that doubt to themselves.  Neither of these situations would foster learning.  Once the direct report demonstrates an improved skill level, the manager can turn to a more coach-like style.  For those with solid transferrable skills they will likely arrive at that place fairly quickly.  For someone newer it may take more time.
• When a decision needs to be made immediately. If the stakes are high or a situation is urgent, there often isn’t time for the brainstorming or trial and error aspect of coaching.
• When the direct report is not receptive. Not everyone is coachable.  Some people are reluctant to brainstorming with their boss.  For instance, it might be very important to some to always appear to have the answers—and others may see the give and take of a coaching conversation as too touchy-feely.

There is a place for facilitating coaching conversations. When the direct report is self-reliant, coaching is a preferable style to directing. It can help direct reports move forward and may draw out new and wonderful ideas. But when the person is new to a task and really doesn’t know what to do, specific direction is a more appropriate first step. Using a coaching style in this instance would reap a minimal—or even negative—return on investment.

Determining when training and direction are more appropriate than coaching is critical. Managers should ask themselves: Does this person know what they’re doing and just need a sounding board? Or do they really need direction because the task is new?

The best leadership style to use in different circumstances is not always obvious, but with a little practice any manager can become skilled at recognizing the right time to coach.  What’s been your experience? If you have any tricks to know when to coach and when not to coach, please share!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?

Each of these one-word questions can push organizational leaders and their team members toward the clarity they need to achieve success. In this post I’d like to focus on who and what.

When leaders set clear expectations, outcomes are much more likely to hit the mark. And it’s just as important for leaders to set milestones en route to the outcome. Doing so keeps people on track by helping them get the support and redirection they need when they need it, which sets them up for success so that they do their best work and hit their deadlines.

At this point it is helpful for a coach to ask what questions, such as:

• What are we trying to accomplish?
• What is the scope?
• What will it cover?
• What is left out?
• What are we not doing?

Stating clear expectations, however, is just the start. The next step is for leaders to create clear agreements with others about what is expected. This is where who questions come into play. Let me share a recent example.

I coached a leader who acknowledged that when setting expectations, her team often sees things differently than she does. So instead of just addressing what, she also expands her discussions with team members by including who questions. Some great who questions include:

• Who will be responsible for what?
• Who will talk to whom?
• Who will report to whom?
• Who will follow up with whom?
• Who will be left holding the bag?

By using both what and who questions, leaders can provide better clarity, accountability, and agreement—all of which provide the foundation for shared success!

Rather than be annoyed with team members, or just doing the work yourself, consider how a combination of what and who questions can help you fill the gap between your perspective and the perspective of others to provide clarity and shared agreement.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In the case of leaders as well as learning and development professionals, it does seem like an awfully good skill set to have in the toolbox.  If that’s you, here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you begin to explore coaching.

Experience good coaching firsthand. Work with a coach and have an experience of what it is like to be a client. Working with an exceptionally capable coach will provide you with perspective and answer a lot of questions you might have.  You will learn what a coach really does and experience some coaching techniques firsthand.  Most important, you will get a strong sense of whether or not you want to provide that kind of service for others.

Take it slow and steady. If you do feel a strong calling to be a full-time coach, that’s great—but don’t quit your day job. It will take a while to get to a full practice that will sustain you financially. If you have never run your own business before, remember that that is an entirely separate skill set and the learning curve can be steep.

Get training. Being a really good listener is not enough.  Being an excellent trainer or facilitator is not enough. Consulting skills are not coaching skills. Being a psychiatrist or psychologist can be handy—but, again, coaching is a distinct approach and skill set.

Stick with certified programs. Certification is important now and will become even more so over the next decade. Find a training program that is accredited by the International Coach Federation. There are a lot of excellent programs; I cannot endorse one or another here. Your goal is to invest in a program with a proven track record and one that has the appropriate administrative structures in place. Once you find a program that appeals to you, ask to speak with a couple of former students.

Get focused. You will also want to explore what you want your focus to be. There are programs devoted to leadership, neuroscience, health and wellness, real estate sales—it goes on and on.  It is okay if you don’t have a specialty going in. Many programs provide a good foundation for lots of different specializations.  If you aren’t sure about what your niche should be, a good first clue will be the kinds of people you do your best work with.

Coaching is a great calling and coaching skills are useful to everyone—helping professionals, managers and leaders, parents, performance and sports coaches.  I encourage you to explore if you suspect this could be your passion. It would never be a waste to get training, even if you don’t feel a strong calling to be a full-time coach. If you do have your heart set on being a full time coach, don’t ignore the fact that this will mean starting your own business.  So, do go in with both eyes wide open.

I invite other longtime coaches who work in organizations to post in the comments additional thoughts they might have, and I am happy to answer questions as well.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“No. It’s not a panacea,” says coaching expert Patricia Overland in an article for Chief Learning Officer. “Determining when coaching is a good investment can be challenging.”

Overland shares a couple of examples from her experience when a leader may not be ready to learn and apply coaching skills. Overland explains that offering coaching without addressing these underlying beliefs is usually a recipe for failure.

• If they prefer command and control: They just want people to do their jobs.
• If they don’t value innovation: They just want people to do things the way they’ve done them before.
• If they have a negative attitude about people: They believe that people only do what they have to.
• If they have a negative attitude toward coaching: They know all the answers and think coaching is a flavor-of-the-month methodology.

For those leaders ready for coaching, Overland points to a research study conducted by Human Capital Institute and The International Coach Federation which found, “A strong coaching culture positively correlates with employee engagement and financial performance. Nearly two-thirds of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures rate their employees as being highly engaged, compared to only half from organizations without strong coaching cultures. In terms of financial impact, 51 percent of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures report their 2015 revenue to be above that of their industry peer group, compared to 38 percent from all other organizations.”

To be successful at coaching, Overland identifies five must-haves that need to be in place:

Environment: Before coaching, managers should let direct reports know they’ll be doing things a bit differently. Set the stage, get permission to coach and check in frequently to ensure this new way of leading is hitting the mark.

Trust: Trust is a foundation for any coaching relationship. The manager’s role can be especially hard because they have both perceived and real power over direct reports. Getting people to talk openly and honestly about their needs, motivations and skill level takes patience, practice and trust.

Intent: It is important to begin by being very clear about objectives and goals. If a manager notices that coaching is going off track, they should examine their own motivations and beliefs. It can be powerful to say, “That didn’t go the way I intended” and start again, working to be more supportive and encouraging.

Action: Development is good. Development with focused action is better. The purpose behind great coaching is to influence some kind of change in mindset and behavior. Encourage others to take specific actions that are focused on achieving a desired outcome. This moves coaching beyond much disdained navel gazing to a strategy with real bottom-line impact.

Accountability: Leaders who use coaching skills help others commit to behavior change. Even with the best of intentions, people get sidetracked, work gets reprioritized, and sometimes life just gets in the way.

Coaching effectively supports long-term and sustained employee development encourages Overland. “Consider the higher engagement levels, trusting relationships and financial health to be gained from a shift to a coaching culture — and say yes!”

To read the complete article at Chief Learning Officer, click here.

Let’s give a nod to the great political leaders whose journeys of provoking and leading change on a massive scale provide worthwhile leadership lessons: King Solomon, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King, Jr., to name a mere handful.

Then we have to acknowledge the modern writers on leadership specifically: Drucker, Bennis, Maxwell, Blanchard.

But this is about the leadership books that have made the biggest difference for coaches. I have asked several of our Blanchard coaches and many of my peers, and here are the results:

Tony Klingmeyer, one of our Blanchard Master coaches, chose Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. Tony says “It is wonderfully written, about many of the dilemmas and paradoxes our clients face when leading in organizations.” In this short and sweet book, Farson details the complexities of navigating human beings and debunks some well meaning management advice.

Renee Freedman, MCC, former director of The SupporTED Coaching Program, says her favorite book is The Leadership Dojo by Richard Heckler Strozzi. Renee says “Although there is much great guidance here, two primary things about this book sucked me in and made me fall in love with it: 1) it treats leadership as a somatic experience and that’s how I experience it; and 2) it has a 5-step leadership process of entering, centering, facing, extending, and blending—which I find extremely simple, effective, and trainable. It changed leadership for me from believing that only 1% of people can lead to understanding that anyone can lead, including me!”

Ann Marie Heidingsfelder picked Wooden on Leadership: How to Create a Winning Organization by John Wooden.

Many coaches on a recent webinar chose Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. It is essentially the application of the concepts of emotional intelligence to leadership. How many clients really need to understand the fundamentals of self awareness, self regulation, awareness of others, and modifying self to be more effective with others? All of them.

Then there’s Leadership BS by Jeffrey Pfeffer. A recent addition to the canon, I personally love the devil’s advocate position the author takes against some of the baloney being peddled by leadership companies out there. No nonsense, brass tacks, and really useful for coaches helping clients navigate the insanity of the global business world. My particular favorite moment is when the author debunks the notion that leaders need to be “authentic.” This book is validating for natural subversives and required reading for idealists.

Why Smart Executives Fail by Sydney Finkelstein is one of my all time favorites and should be required reading for anyone aspiring to senior leadership—and those who coach them. You might think because it came out in 2003 that it is obsolete, but you would be wrong. Finkelstein examines some of the whopping business failures and teases out the mistakes that were made. These lessons are timeless. But my favorite chapter is “The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful People.” Just the title makes me laugh out loud.

Another great book is Coaching for Leadership by Goldsmith, Lyons, and McArthur. This one is kind of a no-brainer, because it is an anthology with writings from leadership and coaching experts with extremely targeted practical advice for all kinds of situations (understanding purpose, gender differences, working cross generationally and culturally, etc.). Of course, Goldsmith’s entire body of work is must-know—particularly What Got You Here Won’t Get You There—but this is a different resource altogether.

Finally, a crowd favorite: Leadership and Self-Deception from The Arbinger Institute. A fairly fast and easy read that outlines the effects of self-deception and how to fix it. The fundamental premise is that when we behave in ways that do not match our values, we betray ourselves.

How does that match up with your list? Any books you’d add? Just include them in the comments section!

Having a coach who is pulling for the good of not only the team but also each team member can help keep the agreed-upon common purpose and desired outcomes top of mind all along the way.

When coaching in a team setting, focus on three objectives:

1. Establish the intent for coming together. First, make sure everyone involved knows the group’s common purpose as well as expected results from their work as a team. Clear agreements regarding intent will likely prevent individual members from getting off course.
2. Create a safe, confidential environment. To create a healthy environment for the exchange of ideas, follow basic coaching rules: keep confidences, allow everyone to be heard, clarify action steps, and set up accountability measures.
3. Track participation. Pay close attention to each individual’s participation. As we say at Blanchard, “No one of us is as smart as all of us.” To ensure all voices are heard, encourage input from more reserved participants by asking their opinion. Also, be ready to reel in more assertive team members if they begin to monopolize the discussion.

Organizations generally choose people for a project based on complementary skills needed to get the job done. Then, to achieve desired results, everyone on the team needs to pull in the same direction. Having a coach to set the stage and facilitate successful team meetings not only helps organizations get the most from everyone’s time and effort—it also helps people enjoy the process.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I once conducted interview-based 360-degree assessments with three executives in the automotive industry.

Coming in as a third party consultant, I perceived a cautious skepticism from the leaders under review.

I decided, right at the onset, to create an environment conducive to their learning from the feedback they would be receiving. My goal was to help them be receptive to the comments and to avoid the thought that often comes by default when reading negative feedback: Who could have said that?

My clients and I worked together during the first meeting and agreed to navigate the process while bearing in mind the following three principles:

1. The feedback you will receive is not you. It is how others observe you. As Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson discuss in their book The New One Minute Manager®, when giving negative feedback—a re-direct, as they call it in the book—you want to get rid of the bad behavior but keep the good person. As soon as I said this to my clients, their sense of relief was noticeable even over the phone. I even pictured them nodding in agreement as they thought about the separation between who they are and how others may perceive their behaviors. I could feel them becoming more relaxed as they began to open up and ask vulnerable questions.
2. Intention + observable behaviors = impact. I developed this equation as a simple illustration for myself and others of how, by aligning our observable behaviors with our intention, we can generate the impact we desire. Interestingly, after I shared this equation, the leaders identified on their own the behaviors they needed to improve to increase their impact and performance.
3. Don’t waste energy trying to identify who said what. Although the 360-degree assessment is a tool for development, not for performance review, it is natural to respond with some emotion when receiving the feedback. It often triggers a fight-or-flight response. To help my clients avoid worrying about who said what, I asked them to focus instead on thinking: If this feedback were true, what could I learn from it? The leaders found this thought very liberating. They realized the exercise was not about finger-pointing. This way of thinking reassured them that the process was for them to learn about and become aware of areas for improvement.

After looking at the feedback with these principles in mind, the leaders expressed their enthusiasm for the process and saw it as an opportunity to further develop their leadership skills. Because of their positive attitude, the debriefs went smoothly—even though the feedback included acknowledging some hard truths.

One client stated, “This has been the best feedback exercise I’ve experienced. I now know the behaviors I need to work on when crafting my development plan.”

I have used and shared these three principles with many clients, with great results. I’m certain you’ll find similar success in feedback sessions you are facilitating. Have you used similar principles in the past? Try it! And please share your experiences in the comments section.

About the Author

Antonio Estrada, MBA, Engineer and Certified Professional Coach is a member of Blanchard Coaching Services network of executive and leadership coaches.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

But how does this really occur? Certainly not with the coach standing there, bullhorn in hand, yelling at the leader to stay on task.

Instead, the coach listens carefully to what really matters to the leader and helps the leader connect the meaning to the activity.

I’ll give you an example. I recently worked with two leaders in different organizations who needed to improve their expense report process. Each was frustrated by a system they saw as unnecessarily complicated and burdensome.

How did each leader determine the best strength to use to get those pesky expense reports completed? Through positive psychology coaching. Founded at the turn of this century, positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to:

• lead meaningful and fulfilling lives,
• cultivate what is best within themselves, and
• enhance their experiences in all aspects of their lives.

Through coaching, both of these leaders successfully addressed the process of completing their expense reports on time, but in very different ways: for one, it meant employing the strength of perseverance. For the other, it centered on the strength of gratitude.

Both of these strengths were identified by using the Values In Action survey. This is a scientifically validated tool that looks at 24 character strengths and rank orders the strengths of an individual through self-reporting. The VIA survey of character strengths has been taken by more than four million people and can be accessed here: www.viacharacter.org. Character strengths are positive personality core capacities for thinking, feeling, and behaving in ways that can bring benefit to oneself and others—not only at work but also in personal relationships.

The leader with the signature strength of perseverance used the fact that he takes satisfaction in completing tasks and applied that valuable perspective to his expense reports. The other leader focused on her strength of gratitude to get her reports done: she channeled her appreciation for the people who processed the reports as well as the gratitude she felt that her organization supported her travel as well as her training.

How about you? What would your day look like if you led with your signature strengths?

Leaders who purposefully employ a strengths-based approach show greater engagement in their activities including a sense of ownership and authenticity, a rapid learning curve as the strength is applied, and—key to the leaders above—an intrinsic motivation to use the strength.

If you develop the habit of consciously applying your strengths, I suggest you’ll find yourself fueled with a clean source of energy that is unique to you. Take the VIA survey and find out!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“Managers need to know how to set clear goals, diagnose development levels, and determine the correct leadership style to bring out the best in people. That’s a foundational management framework,” Blanchard says.

“But after that, managers need to take a deeper dive into the leadership styles we identify as Coaching and Supporting.  We’ve found through our research that 75 percent of the time, these two leadership styles are needed most to match the development level of a direct report on a task.”

“Most experienced managers are comfortable with setting goals and holding people accountable for achieving them, but they still need to work on providing direction and support along the way.”

Blanchard recommends that learning and development professionals add a coaching module into their leadership training curriculum. In his experience, a coaching module provides managers with enhanced skills in three key areas: day-to-day coaching, conversations beyond performance management, and conversations that focus on career growth.

“A manager who uses the coaching process can better guide a direct report in identifying a problem and looking at options. A coaching mindset is also helpful in areas that aren’t specifically related to a task, such as conversations between manager and direct report that focus on career or personal development. Managers have to get the work done, but there is an implied expectation that a manager will also be ready to help an employee see the bigger picture regarding their development—both personally and professionally within the organization.”

Trust as a Foundation

Blanchard recommends that L&D professionals also look at adding a trust module into their curriculum. He highlights the four pillars of interpersonal trust taught in his company’s Building Trust program—being perceived as Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable. Blanchard highlights the word perceived because trust is ultimately determined by each direct report’s perceptions and experiences of the manager’s behavior.

“Managers need to know how they stand in their employees’ eyes against these four components of trust. Good management starts with the realization that leadership is a partnership.  From there, you learn a mindset of service—because leadership is all about serving others in pursuit of common goals. Finally, you make sure your behaviors match your intentions. By participating in a curriculum that includes trust and coaching skills, you can learn to be the type of leader who always provides the right amount of direction and support and helps everyone win.”

To learn more about Blanchard’s recommendations for creating a complete leadership development curriculum, check out his full interview in the March issue of Ignite. Looking to learn more about bringing trust and coaching skills into your leadership development program? Join Blanchard for a free webinar he is hosting on March 29—Creating an Integrated Curriculum: Coaching, Trust, and Situational Leadership® II.

To be effective, coaches at every level need to follow five principles. Failure in any one of these five areas can quickly take a positive coaching experience and turn it negative.

1. Confidentiality

Even if they don’t mention it openly, people often are concerned about whether details of their conversations with coaches will get back to their managers with potentially negative effects. Some hesitate to be vulnerable or to share their real issues until they are convinced that the coaching relationship is safe. Being crystal clear about what is confidential (and what isn’t) is critical. A breach of confidentiality will harm not only the coaching relationship, but has the potential to harm ALL coaching in an organization. Word gets around.

2. Defining Success

As an external coach and subject matter expert, I often work with clients who are building an internal coaching capacity or hiring external coaches to work with their senior leaders. One of the key conversations I have with organizational sponsors is how they define success measures. It’s disappointing when a client makes huge leaps and gains, only to find out that the boss or others don’t feel the right targets were hit.  Identifying success measures can be hard work.  It is surprising how often the boss says “I’ll know it when I see it” but can’t articulate the change. (Note: this should be a warning sign to a coach.) If success measures can’t be defined, it is even more important to ensure that the boss or others stay informed throughout the process about coaching impact and outcomes.

3. Clear Agreements

A skilled coach never walks away from a coaching session without ensuring that their client is clear about what happens next. A good guideline is to follow the old journalistic rules of what, who, when, and how. It is also important that both the client and the organization are clear on agreements to ensure everyone is on the same page. Who gets informed of what, and when? What reporting will be done? How will vested parties know the coaching is working? What is the organization’s responsibility in supporting the client being coached?  For example, examine assumptions to ensure everyone defines the experiences the same way. Getting agreements in place before coaching starts increases the likelihood of successful outcomes.

4. Permission to Give Feedback

While it’s often assumed that a coach has full permission to give feedback, it is important to check in with the client. Asking “May I give you some feedback?” signals to the client that useful information is coming. There is an art and a science behind giving good feedback. One of the reasons feedback works so well in a coaching relationship is that the coach has no other agenda other than to serve the client.

5. Managing Multiple Agendas

It is a naive coach who thinks the client’s agenda is the only one that needs attention. If you are an independent coach working with a client who has come to you for support, you must manage at least two sets of objectives:  to serve the client’s desired outcomes and successfully run your business.  As an internal coach, you must balance the needs of the client with the needs of the organization.  As an external coach working for a company that provides coaching to other organizations, you must meet four sets of objectives: the client’s agenda, your own need to schedule and complete the coaching, the needs of the organization you work for, and the needs of the organization who is bringing in the coaching.  Making sure you know what weight to give each and how to blend each seamlessly takes thought and practice.

Set Everyone Up for Success

Effective coaching requires that a coach be strong in all five of these areas. Missing any of these critical factors will negatively impact the coaching outcome. Take a minute to check your own coaching agenda.  Make sure you are setting yourself—and your clients—up for success!

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“As a leader, you need to be on your best behavior all of the time,” says coaching expert Madeleine Blanchard.  “What’s unfortunate is that just when a leader needs increased self awareness, the quality of honest feedback they receive plummets.

“As the leader assumes increased power, followers in the organization start to modify the feedback they provide.  Feedback is more positive.  The boss’s jokes are always funny and their ideas are always good. People begin to suck up to power in a way that distorts reality for the successful executive, who no longer receives the straight scoop.”

“That can lead to blind spots, especially in the areas of communication and trust,” says Randy Conley.  As trust practice leader for The Ken Blanchard Companies, Conley has seen how leaders can struggle—and how they often can be unaware of how they are coming across to others.

“The problems can usually be traced back to one of four areas,” explains Conley.  “A leader’s style can cause negative perceptions of their Ability, Believability, Connectedness, or Dependability.  Negative perceptions in any of these four areas can lead to decreased trust.

That’s why Conley recommends that leaders take the time to conduct a trust audit, which helps them evaluate where they currently stand, make amends where necessary, and modify their behavior going forward.

“It’s a three-step process where leaders assess their current behavior, apologize if they need to, and act more consistently.

“Assessing behavior involves looking at your conduct in four areas,” explains Conley. “In our Building Trust training program we have leaders look at how they are perceived by others in terms of being Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable.  A problem in any one of these four areas will have a negative impact on relationships and the ability of people to work together successfully.

“Able refers to how people see you as being competent in your role.  Do people think you have the skills and experience to get the job done?  Sometimes it is a perception issue; sometimes it is a gap in experience.  Either way, it needs to be addressed.

“Believable is always a perception issue—do you act in ways that are consistent with someone who is honest, truthful, and forthcoming?  This can be a challenge for leaders as they move up in an organization and feel it necessary to share some information on a need-to-know basis.  The problem is that people may perceive the leader is hiding information or not being completely transparent.

“Connected is the relationship aspect of trust.  Do you demonstrate that you care about people—or do you come across as all business?  Working together requires a heart and head connection.  In addition to following you for logical reasons, people also want to follow you for emotional reasons.  Leaders need to check their style and make sure that they aren’t coming across as cold or aloof.

“Dependable means following through on your good intentions.  This trips up a lot of well meaning executives—especially the people pleasers who can’t say ‘no.’  They overcommit themselves and start missing deadlines. They are often surprised to discover how this diminishes people’s trust that they will do what they promise.”

Both Conley and Blanchard caution leaders to be prepared to act on gaps uncovered by the trust audit.

“Make sure you are ready for what you hear,” says Blanchard.  “When you invite people to discuss these potentially sensitive areas, you have to be ready to listen.  Feedback is a gift.  There are only two things an executive should say when they receive feedback—either “thank you” or “tell me more.”

Also, explains Conley, be ready to acknowledge and apologize when necessary.

“You have to own up to areas where you have fallen short. In our program, we train that the most important part of apologizing is being completely sincere—don’t explain, rationalize, or make it the other person’s problem.”

“It’s a simple concept, but one that leaders screw up all the time,” adds Blanchard.  “How many times have we heard a senior leader qualify an apology by saying, ‘I’m sorry if my behavior made you feel that way,’ or by explaining, ‘I was only trying to…’

“Less is more when it comes to apologies,” explains Blanchard. “Just say ‘I’m sorry. I hope you will forgive me for the way I have acted in the past.’ If you need to say more, save it for the next step when you explain how you will act differently in the future.”

“Most leaders are trustworthy.  It’s just their behavior that gets in the way sometimes,” says Conley.

Interested in learning more about adding trust and coaching skills into a leadership development curriculum?  Be sure to check out the Building Trust or Coaching Essentials pages on the Blanchard website.

You can also download copies of the new eBooks

 Do Your Managers Build or Erode Trust

 Great Leaders Don’t Tell You What to Do—They Develop Your Capabilities

Trustworthy behavior leads to trusting relationships. With increased awareness, the willingness to hear feedback, and the humility to apologize for times when trust has been broken, leaders can take a huge leap toward building the types of relationships where people work together to move the organization forward!

A client’s belief system and cultural perspective greatly impacts how they not only interact with their coach but also achieve goals. As a result, I have personally expanded my perspective, identified potential biases, and adjusted my coaching style to incorporate a range of cultural dimensions.

Here are four key points to keep in mind when coaching across cultures.

1. Definition of coaching. Many clients believe coaching is the same as consulting or mentoring—but there are distinct differences. It is important to begin with a clear mutual understanding of what coaching is and what the client can expect from the partnership.

2. Country orientation. Recognize that the tendency for a client to think, feel, and act certain ways is innate and based on their cultural background. This includes communication, perception of self and others in roles, problem solving, and control.

3. Hierarchical vs. egalitarian culture. Clients with hierarchical views may see themselves as subordinate to higher level leaders and therefore believe communication comes from the top and is not to be challenged. Clients with egalitarian perceptions view employees and leaders as equals and are more likely to freely state their opinions and challenge top leaders.

4. Language. When coaching in a language other than the client’s local language, it is important to be aware of subtleties that can cause misunderstanding. Adjusting the pace of speaking to allow a client to translate and understand will increase the effectiveness of the coaching.

As the coaching profession continues its expansion worldwide, it is more and more imperative for coaches to incorporate intercultural dimensions into their practice to be effective with clients.

Coaches can increase a successful coaching experience by recognizing their existing cultural biases and belief systems and adapting based on the situation. For example, if a client is inclined to value indirect language and harmony in their workplace, the role of the coach is to support the client in identifying when to adapt and lean toward a different, more direct style while maintaining authenticity. It is about not only embracing cultural diversity but also leveraging it.

Coaches and managers: how are you embracing and leveraging diversity?

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.