Dear Madeleine,

I am hoping you might have some insight for me. The problem isn’t mine but my wife’s.  

She has a great job with a company where she has been promoted several times. During Covid, when everyone went to virtual work, we took the opportunity to move closer to her family. Her parents were eager to help out with our kids.

When things went back to normal, my wife started going into the office twice a week. The commute was a bear but it was working.

Now her company is demanding that everyone be in the office five days a week. Commuting every day is just not sustainable. We could move back closer to her office but it would mean uprooting the kids and losing the extra help from her family. Still, that’s what I think we should do.

However, another company has been pursuing her rather aggressively. They have promised that she can work from anywhere, which is the deal I have. They are offering a huge bump in salary and an amazing benefits package.

Despite everything my wife has told me, I have a bad feeling about it. I can’t really explain why, but it all just seems a little too good to be true. Every time I point this out, my wife accuses me of not believing in her and not thinking she is worth the kind of salary they are promising her, which is not the case at all.

How can I find out if the company and the offer is on the up and up? I would much prefer to stay put, and it would be great if my wife didn’t have to commute anymore, not to mention the big salary increase. I can’t put my finger on what feels off to me. The whole debate has turned emotional and I feel at a loss as to how to get to the right decision.

Big Decision

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Big Decision,

You and your wife are a functioning unit where both parties have to work together to grow both careers and children. So make no mistake—this is indeed your problem, not just your wife’s.

It seems that you have two big issues here. The first is that your wife doesn’t seem to trust that you have her best interests at heart, and the second is that the job offer seems too good to be true.

I am no marriage counselor, but it seems odd that your wife is getting defensive about your doubts instead of taking them at face value. It could be that her judgment is clouded by her desire to stay put, eliminate her commute, and make more money. But if she is doubting your motives, there could be some repair work that needs to be done. Perhaps she feels undermined by you or has the impression that you don’t think she is very smart. The two of you are going to have to have some frank conversations to get to the bottom of this. If you want to enlist some help, I am a huge fan of John Gottman. The Gottman Institute offers a ton of resources to help couples improve their relationships. It can’t hurt to check it out, and it might help—not just in this instance, but for the long haul.

The second issue is that the job offer seems suspect to you. Right now it is just a feeling, so the next step is to get all the facts. Here are some ideas to get your research started. Maybe one of them will help you to pin down what feels off to you.

Research the company.

• Company website: Does it look professional and up to date? Are the contact details legit (email with a company domain, physical address, phone)?
• LinkedIn presence: Is the company listed on LinkedIn? Are employees with real profiles working there? Might your wife be willing to contact a few of them and talk to them about what it is like to work there?
• Online reviews: Check Glassdoor, Indeed, or Google Reviews for employee feedback.
• Business registration: For U.S. companies, you can check the secretary of state’s business search. Other countries have similar registries.
• Talk to people you trust and get other opinions.

Inspect the communication—if your wife will allow it, of course. Or you can share these recommendations with her.

• Email domain: Legit companies don’t usually use Gmail/Yahoo/etc. for hiring. Look for an email like recruiter@companyname.com.
• Grammar and tone: Scams often have poor grammar, generic greetings (“Dear Applicant”), and overenthusiastic language (“You’ve been specially chosen!!!”).
• Urgency or pressure: Be wary if they’re pushing you to act fast or not ask questions.

Examine the job offer and contract.

• Is the job description detailed and specific to the role? Real job postings usually include tasks, skills required, and expectations.

The principle here is that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If you truly believe that your wife is wearing rose-colored glasses, you must approach it delicately. Ask good questions and remind her at every turn that you think any company would be lucky to have her.

Changing jobs is tricky and stressful. It really does make sense to do all due diligence before making the leap. Worst case, your research yields some real concerns and you avoid a disaster. Best case, this opportunity could be a stroke of luck for the whole family! I sure hope so!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work for a global company that had a very flexible work-from-home policy before Covid happened. I have been managing hybrid teams for more than 20 years and have never had trouble with performance.

We got a new CEO last fall, and he has a very strong belief (despite all the research that says otherwise) that people simply don’t work as hard when they work from home. One of his opening moves was to institute a full-time return-to-office plan that started in January.

I’m lucky. I have always come in three days a week, and I have a short commute. But about half my people had just enough time to move back, or simply move, so they could keep their job. I had to replace people who didn’t want to move, or couldn’t, and we lost some excellent talent in the process. The disruption has been epic. It all feels like a waste of time, energy, and focus.

Now that everyone is getting into the groove of coming into the office, there is a new problem no one seems to have anticipated: We don’t have enough room for everyone! People are sharing offices and cubicles, which is tricky since almost everyone is on conference calls all day. There weren’t enough headsets to go around and people had to bring their personal ones from home. There aren’t nearly enough conference rooms, and if you have one reserved and someone else gets there before you, it is a standoff. People can’t hear themselves think.

There aren’t enough parking spaces, so people are late because they must drive around looking for a spot. There aren’t enough restrooms—people have mere minutes between meetings only to encounter a line, so many are forced to step out in the middle of meetings. The cafeteria was not remotely prepared to manage the volume, so lunch hours had to be staggered and regular meetings moved. Not only are we not more productive, we are way less so.

My boss has assured me that all of these issues are being worked on—but in the meantime, no flexibility has been offered to help alleviate them. Everyone, myself included, is in a constant state of annoyance. The whole policy has been an unmitigated disaster.

I just don’t know what to do. I hate inefficiency. I hate policies that are out of touch with reality. I hate to see my smart, hardworking people struggling with stupid rules. As a senior-level manager, I have taken great pride in walking the fine line between taking care of my people and supporting senior leadership, but I am really struggling to do that at this point. I have completely lost respect for the CEO, who is oblivious to reality and blathers on about how great it is to have everyone together. He thinks he appears tough, while everyone who works for the company seems to agree that he is just stupid. More to the point, my team’s morale has nosedived and I can’t do anything about it.

I have run out of the energy needed to hold the company line and not betray that I am 100% opposed to the way things are being handled. I feel like I can’t support my boss, who is cowardly and keeps acting like everything is fine, or the executive team he reports to—and it makes me feel like a traitor. I have headhunters calling me constantly and am starting to take their calls, but I feel like I would be letting my team down. Can you think of anything I could do to turn this around?

Done

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Done,

There is nothing quite as dispiriting as a new CEO who imposes new rules based on opinion versus facts and causes needless chaos for their people. It sounds like you had a good thing going and it has all been blown up. I do wonder how the whole company is doing, and if the new CEO is doing enough good things to offset this one really stupid thing.

Do I have any bright ideas for you? I wish I did. I read your letter several times, trying to spot a silver lining or creative ways you might approach the situation. You might check with your team and see what viable tactics come up—carpooling, bringing lunch from home, ways to share space that make sense. The bathroom situation is way beyond me. But I don’t think this is what you are looking for.

My suggestion is that you read what you wrote and ask yourself these questions: Whose permission do I need to find a better leader to work for? What is keeping me from finding a better situation—and taking my best people with me?

The principle here is that a leader is only a leader if people follow them. You feel like a traitor, but it doesn’t sound like your CEO has done anything to earn your loyalty. So, really—what is keeping you from voting with your feet?

Your team will be fine. One of them will probably be delighted to take your job. You won’t be betraying anyone or letting anyone down by remembering that the only people you owe anything to are yourself and a leader worthy of your respect that you choose to follow.

I could be totally off base here. If that is the case, it will probably have the effect of helping you see the silver lining and find the wherewithal to stay the course where you are. The key is that it will be a conscious choice and you won’t feel like a victim.

I wish you effective and efficient policies that make going to work and doing work fulfilling again.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have been managing people for decades. With the advent of Covid, I put a lot of focus on getting better at managing hybrid teams. (This blog really helped me.) I have some people who come to the office and about half the group works remotely. I go in four days a week.

I have developed a reputation for being fair, working with individuals to find challenging opportunities and being flexible with work preferences. But lately I have begun to wonder if I am being too flexible, at the expense of the functioning of my team. For example, I have one direct report who has informed me that he intends to move to Australia. He just assumed I would be okay with it. I am not.

I really wish he had approached me with this as a request and not presented it as a fait accompli. I never would have approved this move. But now all the plans have been made—and if I were to say no at this point, it would cause a lot of turbulence. My biggest issue is that we already work with multiple time zones, and adding another one on the opposite side of the world is going to increase complexity. I haven’t even begun the process of talking to HR about the laws governing employment in Australia, and that worries me. This person is a good employee, but there have been some issues with accountability and entitlement. I wouldn’t mind letting him go and hiring someone new for the job.

What I really want to do is ask him if we can roll back this decision, but I worry that he only behaved the way he did because I sent mixed messages. How much of this is my fault? What can I do now?

Not OK

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Not OK,

Wow, this is so relatable. As a manager, I often have erred on the side of giving people too much freedom (which is crucial to me) and have suffered similar mix-ups. I applaud your willingness to consider the part you might have played in creating the situation and your desire to take responsibility for it. But, at least from the information you provided, it does seem like your employee took some liberties.

In the blog post you mention, Real Talk About Leading Hybrid Teams, Randy Conley points out that with hybrid teams, it is even more critical to make the implicit explicit. I think that point might be the one to focus on now.

Blanchard just sent out an updated employee handbook that outlines very clearly how employees should proceed if they wish to relocate. It begins with a conversation with one’s manager to obtain explicit permission. I can only imagine that your company has something similar. So there might be a chance that your direct report ignored precise direction.

Even if you don’t have such a handbook, you are within your rights as a manager to have a serious conversation with your world traveler. It is completely fair for you to point out that you would have preferred that he consult you, rather than inform you, before making such a huge decision. It is also fair to tell him that you need to do your homework—both with HR to see if it is feasible, and with your team to see if the time difference will correspond with the team’s workflow. Finally, assuming you have talked about accountability issues already, it is fair to express your concerns about how the distance and time difference will affect this person’s ability to stay on top of his deliverables.

I appreciate your worry that your flexibility has led to a misunderstanding, but I think a line was crossed here, and you can push back. You would need to do so even if the employee were a superstar performer. It is never too late to be explicit when needed. It really is not your fault that your employee jumped the gun. And if you can’t make it work, he will reap the consequences.

Do your due diligence. Decide one way or the other if you can make this work for you and the team. Share your thinking. You can own your part in this situation but you can also insist that your employee own his. If it can work, outline the parameters of how. If it can’t—well, it might be a hard conversation.

Be clear, be direct, and be kind.

You can use this as an opportunity to get ahead of any other non-negotiables you haven’t shared with your team. Examine additional assumptions your direct reports might be making, and make the implicit explicit.

Most people crave certainty, so the more you can give them, the better.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work on a team where I am the only member who is remote. Pre-Covid we all worked together at the office, but during the shutdown I took advantage of my company’s remote-work option and moved back to my hometown to be closer to my parents who need help.

Many of our meetings are still on Zoom because several team members still work from home a couple of days a week. But other times, everyone is together in a room and I am the only one on Zoom. There are often several side conversations going on at once, as happens when people are together in person. I have trouble hearing everything, and the group often forgets I am there. This past week, two people left the room and had a conversation about a situation that I should have been a part of. I know it wasn’t intentional, but it still doesn’t feel good.

What can I do about this? I am worried I am going to start missing more important things and my contribution may start to seem less important as time goes on.

Feeling Left Out

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Feeling Left Out,

Well, this sounds like no fun. You are suffering a bit from a collection of natural human unconscious biases. Primacy or recency bias, in-group favoritism, and others can easily add up to an effect that might be summed up as “out of sight, out of mind”. It isn’t personal, so the first thing you can do is try to not take it personally.

There are two specific avenues for you to consider. The first is to discuss your experience with your manager and enroll them in helping you to change this dynamic. It is incumbent on your manager to arrange things so that you feel included; but of course, they may not see it that way. So you may need to make it easy for them to help you.

To do that, you need to let your manager know that you frequently feel excluded during the meetings where everyone is face to face except you. You will want to be prepared with ideas about how the manager, the team, and you can all navigate these meetings differently. Any changes will require discipline—and your manager will need to role model any behaviors that will make a difference. If it is feasible given the situation with your parents, you might also propose coming to the office for a few days every month or every six weeks. The company may be willing to pay the cost of travel or split the cost with you.

The other thought is that it wouldn’t hurt if you could engage in regular one-on-ones with everyone on the team. The thing that happens when people are together in person is a natural water cooler-type informal connection. All the human stuff: “How are you doing? How are the kids? Is the puppy house-trained yet? Did you complete the marathon? Hey, is that a new car I saw you getting out of?” You know—just the small talk that results in people bonding. Even a 15-minute coffee break with each of your team members on a regular basis would make a difference. This practice helped virtual teams get through Covid and was naturally dropped when people felt the one-on-ones were no longer needed. But you do still need that connection, so you will need to be proactive to nurture your relationships in this “new normal” time.

You might consider asking someone on your team to be your in-room partner, who can take responsibility for actively including you in the meeting. Having an active advocate for you will always help. If that isn’t feasible, you will have to do it yourself. Don’t be shy about reminding people that you are still in the meeting when it becomes apparent that they have forgotten. This used to happen back in the days before video meetings, when there was one lone person on the speaker phone.

I can’t imagine you are alone in dealing with this situation. There are more hybrid teams today than ever before—and managers need to up their game to make sure everyone feels like part of the team. But you can also rise to the challenge by getting help, making requests, and piping up even when it might be uncomfortable.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

COVID-19 has been a major disruptor, forcing countless organizations to innovate and make a rapid shift to the virtual world. In some ways, this has been a good thing. Many businesses—including ours—have expanded operations and found new revenue streams online. People working from home have gained more flexibility in their work day and are saving money and time they used to spend on commuting to the office.

A Troubling Trend

Yet the negative impact of the pandemic on people has been significant. For example, those working remotely are dealing with the stress that comes from having no physical difference between the workplace and their personal space. They are discovering that it takes extra effort to maintain meaningful work relationships. Perhaps the most troubling trend is that people in organizations around the world are experiencing the loss of a sense of community.

In our recent interview with Chief Executive, my wife, company cofounder Margie Blanchard, talked about the sense of community that has slipped away during the pandemic—and what people could do about it.

Why Should People Come to the Office?

“We have a challenge right now about why people should come to the office when they can do their work at home,” Margie said. “We need to be a lot more intentional about what’s good about coming to the office.”

A major good thing about coming to the office is that it can spark creativity.

“I was in the office not too long ago,” Margie shared, “and I noticed that when I was able to interact with people between meetings—when they’re relaxed, more casual, and maybe thinking thoughts that are more creative—I had some of the best conversations I’d had in a year.”

In short, breaking away from our home office work routines and interacting with colleagues at the office can boost our creativity—and sharpen our collaborative and social skills.

The Power of Gathering Together

At its best, a workplace is a community, a group of people inspired by a shared vision and guided by shared values. The advantage of a community is that it creates a collective energy even greater than the sum of its individual energies. The problem is that many leaders don’t know how to foster this collective energy by making the best use of time when people are gathered together.

“I’ve just finished this book called The Art of Gathering,” Margie said. “It’s about taking responsibility to make the most of coming together. Don’t just assume that by bringing people together, they’ll take care of themselves. If you’re having a meeting, make sure that meeting is facilitated well.”

 The key is to be intentional about fostering community.

“Left to their own devices, people will spend time with the people they already know,” Margie said. “They won’t even get the richness of belonging to an organization. You need to take care of people knowing each other better—not just dip right into the work that needs to be done.”

Good things can happen when people connect in a common physical space. When planned safely and well, these gatherings can bring joy and fulfillment that simply isn’t possible in the virtual world.

Community as an Antidote to Loneliness

Margie Blanchard sees a purpose for organizations and businesses that goes beyond simply accomplishing the organizational mission or making a profit.

“There’s so much loneliness out there today, so much isolation,” she says. “The workplace may be the one spot where people can connect. Connection is happening less often in churches and a lot of other places, even families. Maybe there’s a supreme purpose for having a boss that cares about you, for having work that’s meaningful, for feeling good about the work you’re doing and the progress you’re making.”

The workplace is where we can cheer each other on and get in touch with our shared humanity.

Create Community through Servant Leadership

The coming year will see a shift toward more compassionate leadership as leaders continue to adapt to people’s shifting needs and circumstances. But whether it’s in the office or online, leaders must learn to foster greater community. The first step is to become a trusted servant leader, focused on the growth and well-being of your people and your community.

On Wednesday, January 26, 2022, trust expert Randy Conley and I will be giving a special online presentation called Simple Truths of Leadership: Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader. If you’re interested in learning how to become a trusted steward of your workplace community, we invite you to sign up for the webinar here.

Quitting your job for a new one is the new normal.

Almost 4 million Americans resigned from their positions in June 2021.[1] More turnover is on the horizon: Some 40% of the global workforce is “considering leaving their employer in the current year,”[2] while “95% of workers are contemplating a job change.”[3]

This amount of turnover is historic. A record-breaking 10.9 million jobs were open at the end of July 2021.[4]

The pandemic is driving the turmoil. Americans are reassessing their priorities because of it, and they’re looking for jobs that offer remote work possibilities, greater fulfilment, career advancement, and flexibility.

The High Cost of Turnover

Turnover­ always demands your attention—and especially so at this unprecedented moment. To start, turnover is incredibly costly for a company: 30% to 40% of the annual salary for entry-level employees; 150% for mid-level employees; and up to 400% for highly skilled employees.[5]

What about the unquantifiable cost of turnover?

When a high performer leaves, so do their expertise, brilliant ideas, and contribution to the cultural fabric. An even more worrisome trend is high performers leaving with their colleagues for greener pastures.[6]

Tips for Keeping Your High Performers Happy

Keeping top performers at your company in this time of extraordinary change is critical. Here are some tips your managers can use to help them stay. 

Give high performers the spotlight: This is your time as a manager to flip the script. Instead of you telling your high performer what they should do, ask them how they accomplished something so impressive.

Let them talk. Let them share. Let them teach their colleagues.

When people share the strategy behind their successes, they feel energized and appreciated. It also increases their confidence, giving them the courage to take on even more strategic projects.

Let them choose new challenges: A high performer has earned the right to explore. Encourage them to pursue projects that are interesting. Don’t pigeon-hole them even though they are an expert at an important task.

Ask your high performer, “What interests you? How would you like to contribute?” Give them the opportunity to use their talents.

When your high performer takes on a different kind of challenge, they’ll be an enthusiastic beginner at the start of the project—the honeymoon phase, when we’re filled with excitement and enthusiasm. That state drives retention: When people love their work, they’re 50% more likely to stay at their jobs.[7]

Show appreciation: Let your people know that you’re grateful for their contributions. They’ll be even more engaged and productive. Make your words of praise specific if you want them to have the most impact.[8]

Don’t assume your people know that you appreciate them. Research shows that leaders believe their people know how they feel about their work, when in fact, they don’t.[9] And when people feel unappreciated, they start looking for another job.

Since the brain stores data in images, not words, saying things like, “Good job! Way to go! Nice work!” goes in one ear and out the other. 

For appreciation to stick, you need to share what they did, the effect it had, how it made you feel, and your gratitude for their partnership and efforts. For example: “When you stayed after the meeting to address the client’s hesitation, you deepened her trust and showed that we want to exceed customer expectations. I’m so grateful for your dedication, empathy, and desire to help everyone be successful. Thanks so much.”

Help your people take care of themselves: Just because someone is a high performer doesn’t mean they’re immune to stress. They can be so busy doing fantastic work that they forget to take care of themselves. Then one day, they wake up and say, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Your job is to remind your team that self-care is their top priority. Here are best practices you can use to keep your high performers happy:

• Hold walking meetings—even when they’re virtual. Instead of sitting in front of a monitor, everyone calls from their cell phones, pops ear buds in, and meets while moving.
• Offer to buy those interested an exercycle or treadmill.  Sounds expensive? Not compared to hiring someone new.
• Give people a brain break in meetings. Ask your team to stand up and have someone lead them in exercises for five to ten minutes. Most teams usually have someone who can do this. If you don’t, you’ll find plenty of free online fitness videos.
• Let people know when you are taking care of you. Share, “Today I am doing my run from 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.” Be the example. Help people celebrate self-care.
• Oh, Won’t you stay? You’ve heard a high performer wants to leave. Why not ask, “What would it take to make you stay?” You’ve nothing to lose at this point and may be pleasantly surprised that you meet their demand.

The Great Resignation is causing a flood of resignations. Now you know how to stop the surge and keep your best people.

[1] https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/24/success/how-to-quit-your-job/index.html

[2] https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/worklab/work-trend-index/hybrid-work#:~:text=Today%2C%20our%20research%20shows%20that,major%20pivot%20or%20career%20transition

[3].https://www.yahoo.com/now/youre-not-only-one-whos-102605650.html

[4] https://hbr.org/2021/09/who-is-driving-the-great-resignation?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=dailyalert_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&deliveryName=DM150635

[5] https://www.clickboarding.com/employee-turnover-what-is-it/

[6] https://hbr.org/2021/01/your-star-employee-just-quit-will-others-follow

[7] https://www.fastcompany.com/90679528/i-spoke-to-5000-people-and-these-are-the-real-reasons-theyre-quitting?partner=feedburner&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feedburner+fastcompany&utm_content=feedburner&cid=eem524:524:s00:09/23/2021_fc&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=Compass&utm_campaign=eem524:524:s00:09/23/2021_fc

[8] https://hbr.org/2020/01/the-little-things-that-make-employees-feel-appreciated

[9] https://hbr.org/2020/01/the-little-things-that-make-employees-feel-appreciated

Many organizations are embracing hybrid teams (a mixture of onsite and remote employees) as a model of working in the post-COVID19 world. Hybrid teams are not new, but this model of working is new to many organizations and leaders.

I’ve been leading hybrid teams for over 15 years, so I have a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn’t. I’ve learned a lot over this time, mostly through trial and error. I thought I’d offer some straight-up, real talk about what it’s like to lead a hybrid team, so that you can learn from my experience and possibly avoid some of the mistakes I made.

Work From Home (WFH) and In-Office Schedules

Years ago, when I decided to allow team members to work from home a few days a week, I worked with my managers to create an elaborate schedule of the days team members would WFH and be in the office. We wanted to maintain at least 60% of our team in the office on any given day and we also wanted to limit people working from home on Monday or Friday (because, you know, those untrustworthy workers would use their Friday/Monday WFH day to make it a long weekend). To limit time out of the office, we had a policy that team members were to schedule personal appointments on their WFH days.

Life doesn’t happen according to our neat little plan. Legitimate circumstances would arise that caused a team member to shift their schedule – a sick child, a broken water pipe at home, or an impromptu meeting at the office that required the employee to come in on their normal WFH day. We quickly found ourselves spending more time and energy managing our team member’s whereabouts than the important work we needed to accomplish. I eventually decided to leave it to the employee’s discretion of when to WFH and when to be in the office. They came into the office when they needed to be there for meetings or to collaborate with others.

Team Meetings

The first few years of leading a hybrid team, I had less than a handful of team members who worked remotely (full-time), while everyone else was in the office. Our team meetings would consist of everyone gathered around a conference table with a polycom in the middle, and the remote people joined in via conference call. Of course, the experience for the remote people was horrendous.

As my hybrid team grew and more people worked remotely, we started using Zoom for our team meetings. We were doing Zoom calls years before anyone had ever heard of Zoom (weren’t we progressive!). However, we still gathered everyone in the conference room, hooked a laptop to the LCD projector, and showed the remote people on screen. Of course, they were still connected via the horrendous polycom conference phone, so really the experience didn’t improve much for the remote folks. They were still second-class citizens when it came to team meetings.

We finally got smart and started holding our team meetings all-virtual. Everyone, including the entire team in the office, got on Zoom from their individual offices. Compared to our previous meeting formats, the experience was night and day better for everyone! All-virtual meetings level the playing field for everyone because each team member has equal opportunity to participate.

Clear Expectations

Make the implicit, explicit. That’s what I learned, and that’s what my colleague, John Hester, calls out as one of the key skills to leading a hybrid team. Document expectations so there isn’t any room for confusion. Everything from working hours, response times, technologies to be leveraged, backup plans, and communication norms should be clear, regularly communicated, and most of all, followed.

Most importantly, trust is the foundation for leading a hybrid team.

Randy Conley, Trust Practice Leader, The Ken Blanchard Companies

Foster a Connected Community

My friend, Michael Stallard, is an expert in this area. He emphasizes that a culture of connection meets the seven universal human needs at work for respect, recognition, belonging, autonomy, personal growth, meaning, and progress. I’ve found this to be true in leading hybrid teams. My managers and I found we had to work differently, and more intentionally, to foster relationships with team members. Team members themselves must be more intentional about being seen and heard when they aren’t in the office. Many leaders fall into the trap of proximity bias, which is giving preferential treatment to those in their immediate vicinity. Leaders need to be conscious of that bias, work to eliminate it, and employees need to know that it’s a factor that may impact their personal situation.

Hybrid Teams Are Different from Co-located Teams

In the early days of leading a hybrid team, I thought something was wrong because it didn’t feel the same as when everyone was in the office. I learned that nothing was wrong, it was just different. Hybrid teams “feel” different, both from the leader and team member perspective, than teams that have everyone physically located together. As mentioned previously, everyone needs to be more intentional to foster connected relationships in a hybrid team. Hybrid teams miss out on those chance hallway encounters, the lingering conversation after a meeting ends, or the chit-chat in the office lunch kitchen. You have to make up for those times by planning them into your online team meetings and specific events to build team camaraderie.

In-Person Meetings

Face-to-face meetings are critically important for building relationships. I learned the importance of scheduling periodic meetings to bring the team together, usually for non-work, social activities. I would organize regular team lunches in the office and invite everyone to come in (free food always attracts a crowd!) or plan a cook-out at a team member’s house and then let them take the rest of the day off work. I leveraged yearly all-company meetings to bring the entire global team together, and the agenda for those meetings would be roughly 1/3^rd work-focused and 2/3^rd team-building focused.

Performance Management

There will be some team members who turn out to be ill-suited to work remotely. Some people have challenges staying focused and productive when working from home or don’t have the technical chops to effectively self-manage the technology required to be productive. I learned you have two choices: either require them to be in the office full-time (which often creates resentment because they feel they are being treated unfairly), or share them with your competition. Whichever route you choose, deal with it promptly. Don’t let it linger because it will eventually need to be dealt with, and it’s much easier for everyone involved if you act quickly.

Trust is the coin of the realm

Most importantly, trust is the foundation for leading a successful hybrid team. If you can’t trust an employee to do a good job when they WFH, then they probably shouldn’t be on your team. As a leader, you must take the risk of extending trust to your team, which is exactly what you did last year when you sent your team to WFH during the pandemic. Why would you want to pull back on that trust now by trying to run your hybrid team with an iron fist? Don’t do it.

I love leading and working in a hybrid team because it provides people the autonomy they need to do their jobs in the best possible way. I think most organizations have learned during the pandemic that there are tremendous upsides to remote work. Are there challenges? You bet. Are they manageable? Yes, they are.

Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water by returning to the old ways of work just because it’s familiar and comfortable. Hybrid teams work. Make them work for you.

Randy Conley, Vice President of Professional Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies, is the author of the Leading with Trust blog. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. You can follow Randy on Twitter @RandyConley or connect with him on Linked-In.

When the COVID-19 pandemic forced organizations to have their employees work remotely, it launched what I have come to call The Great Trust Experiment. Literally overnight, organizations extended massive amounts of trust to their employees to do whatever it took to keep their businesses afloat.

By most business metrics, The Great Trust Experiment has been a success. Productivity has risen, people have found new and effective ways to collaborate, and employees have experienced a more harmonious integration of their work and personal lives.

But what about the impact on trust itself? Has The Great Trust Experiment caused employees to have more trust in their leaders and organizations?

Last week I had the opportunity to speak with over 300 HR/L&D professionals in a webinar I conducted about Accelerating Trust During Times of Change. I asked participants to respond to the following question:

To what degree has trust in your organization’s leadership increased or decreased because of the way they’ve handled the COVID-19 pandemic?

Not surprisingly, 64.3% of respondents said trust in their organization’s leadership increased to a large/some degree. Only 20.7% said trust had decreased to a large/some degree, while 14.9% said there had been no impact on their level of trust in leadership.

So, not only has The Great Trust Experiment resulted in organizations achieving their business metrics, but it has also produced higher levels of trust with their employees. Why? Because organizations made the first move of extending trust to employees.

That’s the way trust works. One party must first take the risk of extending trust, thereby allowing the other party to reciprocate by proving themselves trustworthy. As Ernest Hemingway famously said, “The way to make people trustworthy is to trust them.”

As organizations flesh out their post-pandemic, return-to-office strategies, how can they capitalize on the gains in trust they’ve achieved over the last 18 months?

I’m glad you asked. I posed that very question to my webinar participants and here’s what they said:

Much to their consternation, participants could only choose one response. Most people commented in the chat that they wanted to select all the choices. However, as any savvy survey savant knows, allowing just one selection forces people to make tradeoffs in their choices. That’s why I find it interesting that increased employee involvement in planning and greater transparency in decision-making criteria were the top two choices (a combined 61.9%).

Why did I find that interesting? Well, my perception is that many organizations are overly focused on the end, not the means, of their post-pandemic work strategy. The raging debate is where employees should work: in the office, remotely, or some sort of hybrid model. That’s the end. How we decide where it’s best for employees to work is where our focus should be. That’s the means.

Leaders will build more trust with employees by involving them in the planning of their organizations’ post-pandemic work strategy. Openly, honestly, and transparently sharing information about workplace metrics on productivity, collaboration, and innovation are paramount to creating trust in the organization’s decisions. Stubbornly clinging to the tired and worn argument that the office is the best place for collaboration and innovation, without backing up that position with hard data and solid rationale, will only erode trust with employees.

Trust has been thriving during The Great Trust Experiment, but the big question is “will it continue?” I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know one thing: Organizations that lead with trust and involve employees in crafting their post-pandemic work strategies have a much greater chance for success over the long haul.

Randy Conley, Vice President of Professional Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies, is the author of the Leading with Trust blog. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. You can follow Randy on Twitter @RandyConley or connect with him on Linked-In.

Dear Madeleine,

Before COVID, I led a high performing, intact team. There are twelve of us and we all used to work in one office. I hired three new people just as the stay-at-home order was instituted, and I worked hard to do everything I could to onboard them and get them up and running using virtual meetings.

Among the twelve of us, we had almost every possible scenario: one single mom homeschooled three young kids, one had two college kids who moved home but not enough internet bandwidth to cover everyone’s needs, one was extremely ill with COVID and couldn’t work for two months, and one was in a rocky marriage that deteriorated steadily under the pressure of being together 24/7. Another person, whose spouse was laid off, was faced with needing to bring in more money or they would potentially lose their house. I was able to successfully lobby for a substantial raise for her (she was due anyway). One was able to bust her mom out of the memory care home she was in, but then needed to be on call at all hours to take care of her.

It was one thing after another. Not a day went by without some new challenge. The crazy thing is that we made it through the worst of the pandemic with no appreciable impact on our results. Now my organization is planning to bring everyone back to the office and I am worried that we may not make it through this particular test.

I have a couple of anti-vaxxers on my team who refuse to come to work until the Delta variant danger is past. The parents need to work from home until they can make safe arrangements for their kids. And the rest don’t think it is fair for them to have to have come back when the others don’t.

I don’t see the problem here. We have managed beautifully through this; why is everyone acting like  five-year-olds NOW? I am exhausted from the constant change and the need to manage everyone’s needs. I am trying to stay reasonable, but at what point do I just tell people to shut up and grow up?

Fried

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Dear Fried,

It sounds like you have been nothing short of heroic and you could really use a break. So my first question is: have you planned some vacation for yourself? I think taking some time off from the constant drama—and your workload—would go a long way toward helping you get back to your very service-oriented, understanding self. When you are ready to say things you know you will regret, it is time to step away. Like so many others, you are probably thinking that you can’t take vacation—but you must.

I will also ask the next obvious coach-y question: How are you taking care of yourself? Are you getting the exercise you need? The rest and sleep? Are you able to get support and direction from your own manager? It sounds like you are on your own with this situation, so if your own manager is unresponsive or simply MIA, perhaps you might find support and direction elsewhere in the organization. Reach out to your partners in HR and see what they have to offer you. We have created a treasure trove of resources for leaders just like you that might help.

Ultimately, though, you must take care of yourself so that you have the energy and grace to take care of others.

Why are people melting down now? Well, for starters, much as we wish it were, this isn’t over. From what I can tell, there are still risks and people are tired of worrying. The messages from the media are very confusing and concerning. Our leaders are even confused. It is hard to know who to listen to or trust. Uncertainty on this scale is exhausting for everyone. It taxes our brains and makes it hard to think straight and control ourselves. You’re tired. Everyone is tired. People are sick of finding silver linings and being good sports. So this is the time to dig deep to find those extra resources of empathy and compassion.

It looks like you are going to have to design a go-forward plan with a hybrid approach. It clearly isn’t going to work for you to simply mandate how the team will function moving forward. The first step would be to have everyone on the team weigh in about their preferences, needs, and wants. Speak to each person individually first, and then brainstorm as a team. Some folks will want to come in more than others, but you can all agree to come in on the same day one or two days a week. Given how well you all managed to get through the last 16 months, there is no reason you can’t collectively craft a plan that allows for flexibility and fully leverages the fact that it seems safer to gather in person now than it did a year ago. Those who are worried can continue to wear masks. Or, if necessary, stick with your virtual model until you are 100% certain that it is safe for everyone to go to the office every day. No one should feel pressured or feel like others are getting special treatment if you have been able to operate well up until now.

The opportunity here is to find a new way to work—not like before the pandemic, not like during the worst of it, but something fresh that takes peoples’ reality into consideration. If people feel heard and understood they will be much more likely to make the effort to make everything work for the whole team.

You have made it this far, Fried. Take some vacation, get some rest, and put yourself first for a change. You will be surprised at how much easier it is to be patient, kind, and considerate, and how easily a plan falls into place.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Hybrid teams are nothing new. Pre-COVID, many hybrid virtual teams existed. Some team members worked from the office full time, some worked from home or from the road full time, and others did a mix of the two. So what’s so different as we look ahead to work in the future?

What’s different is the sheer volume of people who are looking to work either full time or part time from home. One of the lessons we’ve learned from the grand global experiment is that both individuals and organizations can be far more productive when people work from home at least part time.

To be effective hybrid team leaders in today’s world, we need to adopt three fresh mind shifts and four skills to guide our team members as we embrace the new future of work.

The 3 Mind Shifts

1. Remote first. Whatever we do as leaders, we must think about the potential impact on remote team members. Among other things, this means all meetings should be virtual. No more having some of the team in a conference room while others dial in. Make everyone connect remotely.
2. Recognize and mitigate proximity bias. We naturally favor those team members who are physically around us on a regular basis. This issue existed before the pandemic. Remote team members often felt left out of new projects or growth opportunities.
3. Continually experiment and learn. We saw this happening in abundance throughout the last year and a half. Let’s keep trying new things and learn from the experience.

The 4 Skills

1. Make the implicit explicit. Leaders must express their expectations to their people clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt. What are the core hours the leader expects everyone to be available? What are the expectations if the leader will be away from their computer during core hours? What are the expected response times for chat and email? These are just a few of the things that need to be made explicit.
2. Foster community. Many teams did this well during the pandemic. Pre pandemic you rarely saw remote team members on camera and things like virtual coffees and happy hours were unheard of. Teams have learned to be creative in the way they have fun and celebrate virtually. We need to learn from those experiences and continue to make this a priority.
3. Promote well-being. Well-being was and will continue to be an important issue in our hybrid teams. As leaders, we need to pay attention to our own well-being and promote activities that will encourage others to do the same.
4. Ensure hybrid meetings are effective and engaging. We are meeting way too much and many of these meetings are an ineffective use of our time. As leaders, we need to plan our hybrid meetings so that they are engaging. We should meet to discuss, collaborate, and do the work of the team—not just present information. Every meeting should have a clear purpose and agenda. Keep them short and end at least 10 minutes before the hour or half hour to provide time for employees to have a break between meetings.

We have learned a lot from the worldwide work-from-home experiment that is COVID. Now we need to take these lessons and apply them to our work. The future won’t wait!

Editor’s Note: Would you like to learn more about successfully leading in a hybrid work environment? Join The Ken Blanchard Companies for a free webinar series designed for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals looking to upskill their leaders for a new world of work. Learn more here.