Dear Madeleine,

I recently got a new manager. At first everything was fine. She did a big reorganization of our group, some of my duties where shifted, and I took on some new ones. I am still on a learning curve but I am getting there.

She also hired four new people who followed her from her previous organization. All of sudden it feels like I am being left out of important meetings, missing critical information, and getting called out for mistakes.  After years of excellent performance reviews, all of sudden if feels like I can’t do anything right.

I can’t pinpoint what I am doing wrong, but I am starting to dread sitting down to work. What can I do?

Left Out

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Dear Left Out,

It is the worst feeling. Of course, you feel dread—there is a new “in group” that you are not part of, and you have lost the feeling of competence and control that you had been used to. Yuck.

The neuroscience research has found that being excluded activates almost the same parts of the brain as physical pain. It has been shown that over the counter painkillers will actually make you feel better when you are in that kind of emotional pain. This astonishes me. Heck, it is worth a try, at least in the short term. But you can’t let the dread go on for too long; that kind of stress will lead to burnout.

Beyond that, there are a few avenues you can take:

1. Talk to your manager.
2. Create and nurture relationships with the new kids on the block.
3. Take really good care of yourself.

You must first raise your concerns with your new manager. Since she is new, making tons of changes, and onboarding a bunch of new hires, she has probably lost sight of the process and communication threads. Somehow, you are being left off of meeting invites and memos. The worst thing you can do is take it personally—you must just raise your hand, point it out, and get it fixed. If your workplace is like pretty much every workplace I hear about (and my own), everyone is moving at warp speed just trying to keep up. You must raise your hand and keep raising it, without getting huffy, until things smooth out.

Next, identify each new hire and make it your business to get to know them. It is your business. Set up time for a meet and greet, over web conference if needed, and just introduce yourself. Be ready with questions: what did you do at your last company, married/single? Kids or pets? Favorite food? Favorite vacations? Hobbies? If you are shy, introverted, or both, this will be harder for you—but you must do it. Think of it as part of your job, not extracurricular. As a member of the old guard, the more you extend your hand and make new people feel welcomed, the less left out you will feel. People tend to gravitate to the people they know—so make sure people know you and you know them. This will go a long way toward decreasing your sense of isolation.

While you’re at it, make the effort to connect or reconnect with other work colleagues that you already have a relationship with. It takes effort to blast ourselves out of our Covid stupor—I have experienced it myself—but the effort really does pay off.

Finally, do whatever you can do to take care of yourself. Get together with friends who love you, indulge in things that make you happy and remind you of what is great about your life. This is a lot of change, which increases uncertainty, which can cause a negative spiral. You must find ways to stop the negative spiral and get your feelings moving in the other direction. It will make everything seem much more manageable.

Manager first, then new people, and then plan some fun things that give you joy.

You can and you must.

You are going to be okay.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Reading about how tired we are is fatiguing. So let’s try something different.

We’re built to want to be part of something that’s meaningful. We’re eager to learn. We love wrestling with a challenge. It’s in our nature and we can’t help it. So instead of focusing on how everyone is depleted, why not appeal to our better selves?

Here are things you can do to re-energize yourself and your team.

Make Meetings Energizing

Here’s an all-too-typical meeting: a leader doggedly works through a PowerPoint deck while a restless audience scrolls through social media, checks email, or stares vacantly at the slides.

How do you avoid this and make your meetings more dynamic? Make sure everyone participates!

• Invite people to ask questions, and then elaborate on their answers.
• Ask attendees to call on other participants to share insights.
• Compliment people when they make an insightful observation.
• Have designated people share best practices, then open it up for others to contribute their brilliance.
• Put people in break-out rooms where they work on and create solutions to a current problem (Called Highly Paid Experts Activity.)

If you really want to engage people, ask, “What can we do that will put us out of business?” The purpose of this provocative question is to identify a real-work problem that perpetually pops up. Then have your team fix it. You can end the meeting by having all team members share their inspired ideas and then piloting the best solution.

Beat Meeting Fatigue

What to do if your team is inattentive?

Here’s an obvious solution: Hold shorter meetings. Schedule meetings of 20 instead of 30 minutes or 50 instead of 60 minutes. This will reduce cognitive overload and meeting fatigue.

You could also assign a different team member each week to run the meeting. They would be responsible for gathering agenda items and creating interactive exercises.

Here’s a different suggestion: stop the meeting and ask, “Is there anything we should start doing so we aren’t so drained? What should we continue doing? How can we make sure we’re serving customers and each other at the highest level? If you were running this meeting, what would you do to keep everyone engaged?”

You want to spark a courageous conversation. Your goal is to discover why your people are frustrated. Listen to their answers and weave their solutions into the fabric the workplace.

Hold Short, Weekly One-on-Ones

What? We are recommending another meeting?! One-on-ones are something different. Hear me out.

One-on-one meetings with your people are one of the most powerful tools a leader has to re-engage a fatigued workforce. They’re also one of the greatest gifts you can give someone—you are creating a reliable space where they set the agenda and share what’s on their mind. Another benefit? Since your people know they have this time coming up, they’ll contact you less often about the little things.

Your first job is to just listen. That’s easy to say—but hard to do. Our minds are so busy planning the next big thing that we often listen halfheartedly. What are people’s favorite three words to hear from you? Tell me more.

Here’s a common example of halfhearted listening: instead of focusing on what you were saying, your manager was scrolling through their phone. Now think of a time when you talked with a boss who leaned in, heard what you had to say, and even confided their frustrations and hopes. As the direct report, how much effort would you want to give to the manager who was preoccupied versus the one who genuinely cared?

Make one-on-ones with your people meaningful by asking these questions:

• What’s most important for you to discuss today?
• What would make your life easier here?
• What is energizing to you? What would you like to do more of? What consistently drains you?
• What can we do to make our team more effective?
• What about your job makes you want to take the day off?

Foster Connectedness

Fostering connectedness is a great antidote for fatigue. We can get energy from being around other people. Leaders can create connection by building a culture where people get to know each other, celebrate successes, recognize accomplishments, and generously give praise.

One idea is do a round robin where people share the goals they are working on and you share why they are so important to the team and organization.  This not only builds community, but fosters interdependence.

The business world has historically been a conservative place. But we are living through a unique time. We all need to be inclusive and welcome one another with open arms. People will thrive when you make them feel that they truly belong and introduce them to the amazing talents on their team.

Be Caring

Show others you care. Everyone has been affected by the pandemic—and everyone needs some compassion and support.

If someone looks frustrated, request they stay after the meeting and ask: “What’s going on with you? How can I help you? Do you need more direction on anything? How would you like me to support your ideas?”

Leaders can forget to do this when they’re under pressure—or worry they may create additional stress. But that’s not true. As a leader, your caring words will energize and engage.

Take Advantage of Emotional Contagiousness

Emotions are contagious. Here’s an example that proves it.

We all know what it’s like when that certain person walks into a room. You’re laughing with your colleagues, and all of a sudden, the energy is sucked right out of everyone. The part of the brain that recognizes and reacts to these kind of signals moves incredibly quickly and is observing all the time. So how we present ourselves is extremely important.

Each of us has to decide whether we want to be an energy vampire or an energizer. If you’ve read this far, I know you want to be an energizer.

Think about what energizes you. If you’re not sure, look for things that excite you when you talk, when you share, or when you hear an idea that piques your interest.

We need to acknowledge negative emotions so people can let them go, and also embed positive emotions by calling them out and “catching” their positivity. Energy follows focus: to create a high performing, energized team, be sure you are helping your people pay attention to what’s important.

Engage Online Audiences

Online meetings are a breeding ground for disengagement. People easily get bored staring at a screen, so they start multitasking or don’t pay attention. The fact is, people who are online need interactivity every two to three minutes to keep them focused.

Your challenge is to inspire your people to participate so they feel energized when they leave the meeting. A great way to generate interest is to ask “What was your biggest success this week?” After someone shares, ask them how they achieved it. By doing this, you are engaging and empowering speakers.

Chats, breakout rooms, and polls are other effective tactics for engaging virtual learners. A game/contest at the end of a meeting can add spice. You can create a crossword puzzle or hold an impromptu quiz show where your audience tries to stump top performers/leaders. And remember: repetition and engagement are needed if people are to transfer what they learned to the workplace.

Give the Spotlight to Your Top Performers

Have an employee who’s knocking it out of the park? Ask them to share with the team what they’re doing that helps them be so incredibly successful. Let them share their secret sauce.

When you do this, you’ll energize the person who gets to teach. You’ll also give your team a huge gift because they’ll learn how one of their peers is successfully tackling a challenge. Now all of your people will be energized because you have painted a picture of what a good job looks like and had someone show what to do to achieve it.

So there you have it: Lots of tips to fight pandemic fatigue.

We’re passing through extraordinarily difficult times, but we can still bring energy and vitality to the workplace. When you share the gift of connection and engagement with your people, you’ll inspire them and help them thrive.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is Vice President of Applied Learning for The Ken Blanchard Companies. She is the author of Brilliance by Design, Legendary Service: The Key is to CARE, and Leading at a Higher Level. Vicki is the co-developer of Blanchard’s Legendary Service, and SLII® training programs.

COVID-19 has been a major disruptor, forcing countless organizations to innovate and make a rapid shift to the virtual world. In some ways, this has been a good thing. Many businesses—including ours—have expanded operations and found new revenue streams online. People working from home have gained more flexibility in their work day and are saving money and time they used to spend on commuting to the office.

A Troubling Trend

Yet the negative impact of the pandemic on people has been significant. For example, those working remotely are dealing with the stress that comes from having no physical difference between the workplace and their personal space. They are discovering that it takes extra effort to maintain meaningful work relationships. Perhaps the most troubling trend is that people in organizations around the world are experiencing the loss of a sense of community.

In our recent interview with Chief Executive, my wife, company cofounder Margie Blanchard, talked about the sense of community that has slipped away during the pandemic—and what people could do about it.

Why Should People Come to the Office?

“We have a challenge right now about why people should come to the office when they can do their work at home,” Margie said. “We need to be a lot more intentional about what’s good about coming to the office.”

A major good thing about coming to the office is that it can spark creativity.

“I was in the office not too long ago,” Margie shared, “and I noticed that when I was able to interact with people between meetings—when they’re relaxed, more casual, and maybe thinking thoughts that are more creative—I had some of the best conversations I’d had in a year.”

In short, breaking away from our home office work routines and interacting with colleagues at the office can boost our creativity—and sharpen our collaborative and social skills.

The Power of Gathering Together

At its best, a workplace is a community, a group of people inspired by a shared vision and guided by shared values. The advantage of a community is that it creates a collective energy even greater than the sum of its individual energies. The problem is that many leaders don’t know how to foster this collective energy by making the best use of time when people are gathered together.

“I’ve just finished this book called The Art of Gathering,” Margie said. “It’s about taking responsibility to make the most of coming together. Don’t just assume that by bringing people together, they’ll take care of themselves. If you’re having a meeting, make sure that meeting is facilitated well.”

 The key is to be intentional about fostering community.

“Left to their own devices, people will spend time with the people they already know,” Margie said. “They won’t even get the richness of belonging to an organization. You need to take care of people knowing each other better—not just dip right into the work that needs to be done.”

Good things can happen when people connect in a common physical space. When planned safely and well, these gatherings can bring joy and fulfillment that simply isn’t possible in the virtual world.

Community as an Antidote to Loneliness

Margie Blanchard sees a purpose for organizations and businesses that goes beyond simply accomplishing the organizational mission or making a profit.

“There’s so much loneliness out there today, so much isolation,” she says. “The workplace may be the one spot where people can connect. Connection is happening less often in churches and a lot of other places, even families. Maybe there’s a supreme purpose for having a boss that cares about you, for having work that’s meaningful, for feeling good about the work you’re doing and the progress you’re making.”

The workplace is where we can cheer each other on and get in touch with our shared humanity.

Create Community through Servant Leadership

The coming year will see a shift toward more compassionate leadership as leaders continue to adapt to people’s shifting needs and circumstances. But whether it’s in the office or online, leaders must learn to foster greater community. The first step is to become a trusted servant leader, focused on the growth and well-being of your people and your community.

On Wednesday, January 26, 2022, trust expert Randy Conley and I will be giving a special online presentation called Simple Truths of Leadership: Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader. If you’re interested in learning how to become a trusted steward of your workplace community, we invite you to sign up for the webinar here.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a regional sales director for a company that installs gutters for houses. I have spent endless time training my people to map out exactly what is needed for each house. We created beautiful online templates so salespeople could provide the detail that the install team needs to show up with the right equipment and the proper product cut into proper lengths.

The install teams seem to ignore all the information we give them. They show up with the wrong products, install things haphazardly, and the customers all call to complain that their gutters are not what was promised to them.

It is ridiculous. My salespeople are so tired of all their hard work being disregarded, and of course the unhappy customers call them to complain.

The director in charge of the install teams refuses to admit any fault and won’t force his people to use the information we provide. At this point, he is not answering my emails or phone calls.

We have a sales quota to meet, but the morale of my folks is at an all time low. I have talked to my boss about it, and his attitude is basically that it is my problem and I should figure it out. I just don’t know what I can do to change this situation without his support.

Thoughts?

Powerless

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear Powerless,

This sounds so frustrating. And this is a classic point of tension in most companies—the disconnect between what is sold and what is delivered keeps a whole lot of people up at night. It sounds like you have hit a brick wall with your boss, which is absurd, because it sounds like an organizational problem. But short of tackling your counterpart in the parking lot, I think you probably are on your own.

The only thing I can think of is to somehow get the salespeople to create relationships with their install team leads. Instead of simply sending a bunch of information to an install team, a salesperson needs to actually communicate—by phone, zoom meeting, or a quick conversation. I think we have all the evidence we need that nobody can keep up with all of the communications coming at them. People need to talk to each other, and that is something you can work with. Possibly create an offsite meeting to do some relationship and team building. I do think that, absent support from anyone else, your best hope is making sure people on both teams meet, get to know each other, maybe even brainstorm how to solve the problem as a group.

Once relationships are established, install teams are much more likely to be open to influence from the salesperson.

We all tend to look to processes and systems to fix big problems—and long term, you may be able to influence enough to get those in place. But until you can get there, your problem is still people needing to work with people. And for people to work well together, they need to know and care about each other. So that may be a place to start.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

It’s a timeless truth that bears repeating: Good leadership starts with a vision. Why? Because leadership is about going somewhere. If you don’t know where you’re going, your leadership doesn’t matter. Great leaders understand this and mobilize others by coalescing them around a shared vision.

A compelling vision will help you and your team get focused, stay energized, and achieve results. Your vision will also keep everyone going during times of adversity.

Can a Team or Department Create a Vision When a Company Doesn’t Have One?

Yes! Vision can start anywhere. You don’t have to wait for the rest of the organization.

Creating Your Team Vision

There are three aspects to a compelling vision: your purpose, your picture of the future, and your values. If you are a team leader, help your team create a team vision by working together to define and establish these three elements.

Purpose.  To begin, start by asking, “What is our team’s reason for existence?” Your team’s purpose will answer this question.

When writing your team’s purpose, don’t simply describe your roles and activities. For example, if you’re in the automobile business, don’t say, “Our team exists to sell cars.” That purpose is hardly inspiring. Take a cue from Tesla, whose purpose isn’t simply to sell cars; it’s “to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.” Notice how those words inspire excitement and commitment? An inspiring purpose makes work meaningful and fun. It also helps everyone stay the course when things get tough.

Picture of the Future. What is your team’s picture of the future? What do you want to be true in the future that is not true today? Picture the end result of your efforts.

Your team’s picture of the future should be something you can actually see when you close your eyes. Don’t define your picture of the future in vague terms, such as “being great.” Use precise words that bring an image to mind. Walt Disney’s picture of the future for his theme parks was to “keep the same smile on people’s faces when they leave the park as when they enter.”

As you and your team work together on your picture of the future, keep it positive. Focus on what you want to create, not what you want to get rid of.

Finally, don’t get bogged down in describing the process for getting to your envisioned future. Just focus on a visual image of the end result.

Values. Values are deeply held beliefs that certain qualities are desirable. They define what is right or fundamentally important to your team. They provide guidelines for decisions and actions.

What will be the core values by which your team operates? Here is a small sampling of some values you might consider: integrity, knowledge/expertise, accountability, success, relationships, kindness, humor, creativity, innovation, dependability, service to others. There are countless others.

To determine your team’s values, answer the question, “How will we behave on a day-to-day basis?” Then describe the behaviors that demonstrate what that value looks like when it is being lived.

Be careful not to select too many values. Zero in on a maximum of six. Also, your values must be rank ordered to be effective. Why? Because life is about value conflicts. When conflicts arise, people need to know which value gets the highest priority.

Once your team has agreed on the shared values, it’s up to you as the team leader to model these values in your behavior and to encourage the other team members to do the same.

A Worthwhile Investment

Teams with a shared vision work in harmony and generate positive energy that creates extraordinary results.  These are the teams that others notice, admire, and emulate. If your team is working without a vision, take the time to create one. It’s an investment you won’t regret.

Editor’s Note: For a deeper discussion of vision and how it can focus and energize your team, read Full Steam Ahead: Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Work and Your Life by Ken Blanchard and Jesse Stoner.

Dear Madeleine,

I am so frustrated with what I am calling the “in-person addiction” in my new company.

I started here two months before COVID sent everyone home. It was very much a traditional “everyone comes to the office” place before that. I am surrounded by people who are still struggling with the virtual aspect of our work. Everyone is complaining about working from home and all the web conferencing. Many are juggling home-schooling their children along with their work commitments.

My boss is convinced that everyone is less productive working from home—and that may be so with other groups. There is a bit of an attitude that we are going to wait this thing out but, frankly, I have doubts that anything is going to change soon. If we could just shift the mindset we could really get some very cool things done.

I came from an organization that was much more geographically spread out. In fact, my entire team was virtual and in different time zones. It worked great! I just don’t get it. I am far more productive when I don’t have to deal with a commute and the time it takes to get dressed and do hair/makeup. I do have kids at home, but they have always known Mommy has a job. We have created a daily routine that works well for all of us. I am not saying it is perfect—and I will be grateful when they go back to school—but geez. I think people let their children get away with bratty behavior.

My problem: how do I get my colleagues out of their constant moaning about our new way of working? I mean, it’s been six months now, with no end in sight. How do I prove that my new team is crushing it (because they are) despite the WFH thing? Most importantly, how do I develop the relationships I need to influence the way I need to move forward on my very ambitious goals? Many of my colleagues act like they aren’t going to trust me until we can spend time in person together. How do I get everyone to get on board with reality?

Way Ahead

Dear Way Ahead,

I understand your frustration. I led a completely virtual team in our very “headquarters-and-in-person-centric” company for years! We all worked from home for two decades before virtual was the norm, and it was a constant battle to remind people we were out in the field making things happen. Now at least the playing field has been flattened for virtual teams—but it sounds like for you, things have just gone flat.

Here are your concerns, in order. You want to:

1. Get your colleagues to stop complaining.
2. Prove that your new team is highly productive virtually, and that others can be, too.
3. Influence your new colleagues in this virtual environment.

Let’s unpack all of this and look at what you can control, what you might be able to control with some help, and what is probably out of your hands.

You can’t make your colleagues change but you can change your own attitude. I wonder if your colleagues feel your judgment and if that might be getting in the way of building strong working relationships. I am not doubting your superiority at working virtually, but nobody likes to feel inferior. If senior leadership seems willing to suffer the consequences of waiting it out, you may be asking a lot to expect the extra effort required to shift the collective mindset. I suggest you focus less on how to fix your colleagues and more on how you can add value and—without blame or judgment—be a role model for how to operate in this new environment.

Regarding the kid thing: If you are betraying your opinion that your colleague’s children are bratty, that is not going to win you any friends. You can think whatever you want, but I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself. Nothing causes people to get defensive faster than someone criticizing their kids. You got a serious head start creating a culture of “Mommy works” in your own home—and it may be a little unfair to expect your colleagues with kids who are suddenly at home to crack the whip and get everyone to behave. One thought on that topic is for you to create something you could share with colleagues about how you managed it—something like “Tips for Getting Your Kids to Respect Your Work Time.” I Googled around and, I have to say, there isn’t much out there. You must have some good ideas based on your experience! My memory is dim—my children are grown—but I am pretty sure I resorted to threats of bodily harm, which is probably not recommended.

The first stop is a conversation with your boss re: your concerns about the disdain for the virtual WFH office. There are two issues here: the fact that your boss seems resigned and unenthusiastic about how to help people people be successful virtually, and the fact that you are not able to get acknowledgement for how well your team is doing. I think the approach for both is curiosity. You might ask questions like:

• Is it your experience that people are not being productive working from home? What are you seeing that leads you to that view?
• May I show you how my team and I are handling things? Might that be helpful?
• Do you worry that our lack of productivity could hurt us long term? What are your thoughts about how might we counteract that?

With any luck, you can shift your boss’s perspective with open-hearted inquiry. Your confidence could be catching if people don’t feel belittled by it.

Now let’s talk about your need to make friends and influence people. The #1 key is to get curious and interested in each and every person—and show it. Make the time and put some real effort into it. You might check out Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Leading Without Authority.

Some ideas:

• Set up individual time with each person and do a “Getting to Know You” questionnaire. Provide the questionnaire in advance and be ready with your own answers. You can be creative and ask whatever you want, but make sure the person knows they can choose not to answer what they don’t want to answer! Favorite book or movie, pets and their personalities, favorite job you’ve ever had, fantasy travel spot, what would you do if you won the lottery? Favorite holiday and why? What is something I would never know about you if you didn’t tell me? What is your superpower? Hobby? What is your least favorite work task? Are we all sick of Zoom calls? Yes, but this would be a fun one!
• Suggest social distancing picnic lunches or coffee or happy hour (BYOTreats) at a nearby outdoor spot.
• Create an opportunity for your team to do a group Pecha Kucha over Zoom (20 slides, 20 seconds each) and everyone gets the same assignment—again, you can make it up. A Day in The Life is a fun one, or My Life Story. The idea is to use images and photos to create a super efficient story. Stories are powerful and people remember them.
• Our company has some amazing on-demand free webinars for increasing productivity when working from home and leading virtually. You could share these with select folks who are open.
• If you think you might have already done some damage, do ask for feedback and clear the air. If people do give you feedback, do not defend your position, simply say “thank you.”

You can’t change people, but you can be a role model for the behavior you think is appropriate in the situation. And you can extend an invitation: anyone who is interested in how you are sailing through what seems like a big challenge can ask for your help.

Compassion, humility, patience, and generosity will go a long way for you right now.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

If you’re like millions of other people, you’ve been working remotely either part or full-time since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Literally overnight, teams were challenged with finding new ways to communicate and collaborate, and the bonds of trust those teams had established were put to the test.

High performing teams thrive on trust and research has shown that trust in one’s team leader is one of the two primary factors that drive employee engagement. There are four elements of trust that characterize trusting relationships among team members.

Trusting teams are able. They possess the skills, knowledge, and expertise to perform their work. They achieve their goals and demonstrate the ability to make smart decisions and solve problems. Trusting teams are also believable. Team members are honest in their dealings with each other, act in alignment with team and organizational values, and treat each other fairly. A third characteristic of trusting teams is being connected. Team members look out for each other, have each other’s best interests in mind, share information readily, and find common ground with each other. Finally, trusting teams are dependable. They keep their commitments, are accountable to each other, and are responsive to the needs of the team and organization.

Whether your team has performed with flying colors during this pandemic, or if they are clearly in need of help, there is no better time than now to do a trust tune-up. Remember the old management saying, “What gets measured gets managed?” Well, it applies to trust, too. The only way to know if your team has high trust is if you measure it. If you don’t measure it, you can’t manage it.

To help you in this effort, I’ve included in this post a survey you can use to gauge the level of trust in your team. Have each team member download and complete the survey below. Tally up the scores, identify the lowest scoring element of trust, and then involve your team in creating action plans to strengthen that particular element of trust. Keep your team’s level of trust tuned-up so they continue to perform their best.

Randy Conley, Vice President and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies, is the author of the Leading with Trust blog. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. You can follow Randy on Twitter @RandyConley or connect with him on Linked-In.

With his first two books, Never Eat Alone and Who’s got Your Back, Keith Ferrazzi taught us the importance of building collaborative relationships. In his latest book, Leading Without Authority, Ferrazzi reinvents the art of collaboration to break down silos, transform teams, and improve overall performance of individuals. He explains that in a world of constant innovation and the unrelenting need for agility, dealing with a complex chain of command can be paralyzing.

The new world of work requires new rules, says Ferrazzi, and proposes a new workplace operating system he calls co-elevation. He argues that you don’t need a formal title and direct reports to be a true leader; you just need to learn how to turn colleagues into teammates who will work with you toward a shared mission. The main idea is to care about other people’s success and development as much as you care about your own. The beauty lies in being able to work outside traditional org chart structures to get the right people on the team and to co-elevate—go higher together.

Here are Ferrazzi’s eight new work rules for leading without authority through co-elevation.

Rule One: Who’s Your Team? No longer composed of people from only one department, teams in the new work world are made up of everyone inside and outside the organization who will help you achieve the goal. You must be proactive about developing authentic relationships with these people.

Rule Two: Accept That it’s All on You. Leadership is not something bestowed upon you. It is everyone’s responsibility to do whatever it takes to create value for the team and the organization.

Rule Three: Earn Permission to Lead. Instead of persuading people to get on board, learn how to serve, share, and care in order to earn the right to invite team members to join the project. Vulnerability is the key to building connection and commitment.

Rule Four: Create Deeper, Richer, More Collaborative Partnerships. Don’t turn to collaboration only when you can’t do the job alone. Understand that collaboration and partnership are essential for creating transformational ideas and completing projects.

Rule Five: Co-Development. It’s time to take responsibility for your own development. Look to teammates for candid feedback about the skills you need to develop—then offer the same service to them.

Rule Six: Praise and Celebrate. Never underestimate the power of praising performance, showing gratitude, and celebrating success.

Rule Seven: Co-Elevate the Tribe. Don’t ignore the team member who isn’t totally on board yet. Enlist the help of others on the team to elevate that team member to improve their contribution. The goal is to cross the finish line together.

Rule Eight: Join the Movement. Once you’ve put your co-elevation skills to the test, teach others to do the same. Help this become a movement that drives corporate culture.

If you’ve read Keith Ferrazzi’s other books, you know how vulnerable, honest, and open he is. He continues that path in Leading Without Authority through personal stories and real-life examples of people who put his principles into practice. Not only is this book entertaining to read, it offers practical advice you can apply on the job immediately. This might be the most important book you read this year!

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Keith Ferrazzi, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Keith Ferrazzi, go to www.keithferrazzi.com. To access the handout mentioned in the podcast, go to www.keithferrazzi.com/leaderchat.

Fast-paced, agile work environments require teams to operate virtually around the globe. The demand is for collaboration and teamwork in all parts of the organization. Success today comes from using the collective knowledge and richness of diverse perspectives. The team is the only unit that has the flexibility and resources to respond quickly to changes that have become commonplace in today’s world.

Despite this critical dependence on teams, many organizations don’t invest in the upfront training and tools to equip their teams for success. In 2017, The Ken Blanchard Companies, in partnership with Training Magazine, surveyed 1,300 people about teams and team leadership. We learned that…

• People spend more than half their work time in teams
• On average, people are on five or six teams with each team composed of 10 or 11 people
• Only 27 percent of the respondents felt that their teams were high performing
• Only one of four people felt their organization does a good job of team leader training

The top obstacles for teams identified in our research included disorganization, lack of clear roles and decision rights, poor leadership, and poor or no planning. Teams are clearly the vehicle for organizations to seize new opportunities and tackle persistent problems, but our experience working in teams leaves a lot to be desired. Clearly, something is not working.

Our research and experience has shown that high performance teams exhibit a mindset that sets them apart from low performing teams. A mindset is a set of beliefs or a way of thinking about something. High performance teams are defined by four key mindsets:

1. Teams Need Clarity Above All Else—The biggest truth that our research uncovered is that clarity and alignment are critical factors for team success. Without a shared or common purpose and clear goals, the team will not get very far. Clarity on why and how the team is working together sets the foundation for progressing on their goals.
2. Teams Embrace Conflict in Order to Grow—Conflict is inevitable. For teams to be resilient and innovative, they must be willing to roll up their sleeves and tussle, and keep everyone engaged in active debate on the tough subjects in order to find the best creative solutions.
3. Teams Thrive on Trust—The ability to trust one another and trust in the power of the team is as important to the success of the team as clarity is. Good teams know what they are doing—clarity—and believe in each other enough to do it—trust. As I wrote about recently, a worker is 12x more likely to be fully engaged if he or she trusts the team leader.
4. High Performance Teams Lead Themselves—As the team grows in their ability to work collaboratively as a strong unit, team members will share leadership with the team leader and other team members. This belief doesn’t mean there is no leader. It means members are less reliant on the direction of the team leader.

Being able to lead productive, effective teams is critical to leveraging the strengths of team members, addressing cross-functional challenges, and getting work done in any organization. But it doesn’t happen by accident. Team leaders and members need training to learn the stages of team development, how to build trust, how to channel conflict into productive problem-solving, and how to sustain their high performance over time.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Dear Madeleine,

I work in a very matrixed organization. My actual boss works remotely and I seldom interact with him one-on-one, but we have a team lead on every project.

In my work group, we all work on different projects as they come in. One of my peers in another group is causing real problems for me. He never keeps his agreements and tends to hold up every project he is involved with. I’ll call him B.

He agrees to his role and then makes excuses, but no one in charge seems to know or care. It isn’t my job to give B feedback—and I wouldn’t know what to say—but it’s getting to the point that everyone in my group tries to avoid working with whatever group he is in.

I was just invited to be on a really fun and interesting project that I said yes to, but I heard B will be on it. I have a good relationship with that team lead, and I’m thinking of giving him the heads up about the chaos B causes.

What do you think? I hate to tattle, but I also hate knowing what’s going to happen and doing nothing.

Tattler

Dear Tattler,

This sounds like mayhem. The only way the matrix can work is if there is some solid oversight and everyone can be trusted to pull their weight. The fact that you are having this conundrum is an indication of poor leadership—because sometimes if everyone is a leader, no one actually has to step up and take responsibility. There’s a lot to be gained in terms of nimbleness and creativity with matrix organizing principles, but this is a classic example of one the potential downsides.

I understand this doesn’t really help you.

This might: Think about your basic values. What you are reacting to is the general unfairness of the situations caused by B. Unfairness essentially reduces all of us to four-year-olds. It literally affects brain function. It is important to be aware of this so that you don’t do something that is not aligned with your values and that you may regret. You may think that reporting someone’s past bad behaviors to an authority is the right thing to do, but your choice of label for yourself – “tattler”—indicates that you would judge yourself poorly. Frankly, you seem to be judging yourself for even thinking about it.

I sense some real doubts there, which leads me to say: don’t do it. I’m not sure what you would have to gain, but you definitely would have the respect of the team lead to lose. Because, as you well know, nobody likes a tattle tale.

Here’s what you can do. As the assignments are being divvied up, ask the group what the consequences are for slipping on deadlines. Agree as a group how you will behave. Keep your own commitments and acknowledge when others keep theirs. The first time B shows up with an excuse, call out that his lateness is going to slow everyone down and refer back to original agreements of the group. If the group doesn’t step up, then you can talk to the team lead and mention it isn’t the first time you have seen this behavior from B. You don’t have to be mean about it, just truthful and factual. Then it is the team lead’s problem.

Also, I would recommend that you make it a priority to develop a relationship with your actual boss. He is probably so busy that he figures no news is good news and that if you needed him, he’d hear about it. But you don’t want to be in touch only when there is a problem.

In my world view, it is your boss’s job to know his people and make sure they have what they need to succeed—but since that isn’t happening, you need to step up and be on his radar. Get on his calendar and be prepared with a list of all your projects so that he knows who you are and what you’re up to. To the extent possible, research his goals and priorities and ways you might be able to help him. Maybe then, when you really need his influence, he’ll have your back.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior executive with a lot of experience who is on the leadership team of my organization. I have a problem I’ve never had before, which has been developing over the last year.

Since we got a new CEO (my new boss), there has been a lot of turnover on the leadership team including three new leaders who have come in from the outside. They are all young and extremely confident (read: arrogant and brash). The problem is that, somehow, I seem to have lost my voice.

No one on this new leadership team seems to be listening to me when I do manage to get a word in edgewise. Here’s a typical scenario: I say something and no one pays attention. Ten minutes later someone else says basically the same thing and everyone—my new boss, in particular—agrees with the other person and remarks on what a good idea that was.

I know I need to somehow change my MO because I am doing something that isn’t working. But I don’t know where to start. I am afraid all the ideas I have for speaking up will make me come across as whiny or needy, and I really don’t want that.

Lost My Voice

Dear Lost My Voice,

It seems that something essential has shifted: your voice has always been heard and respected and, all of sudden, it’s not. You haven’t changed but your environment has. So it is you—but only in that you haven’t adapted to your new environment. Yet.

Here are some questions: What was going on in the former team environment? I presume you had a longstanding relationship with your old boss? You had a track record with the other members? The meetings were run differently? I have no way of knowing, but you do. Identify what is different and analyze how you might close the gap. Some ideas:

• Talk to the CEO about your concerns and ask for support in holding the space when you speak and acknowledging what you say. They probably have no idea that they are bowing to the loudest and most aggressive voices.
• Develop one-on-one relationships with the new members of the team. Go to lunch, have coffee, meet about specific projects, ask for their help with your goals, offer to help with theirs. Once the new people begin to see you as a human being, they will be more likely to show respect.
• Don’t let people interrupt you. The only reason people get good at shutting down interruptions is that they have to. In your past team meetings you probably didn’t have to, but now you do. When someone interrupts, hold your hand up and say, “I’m not finished,” or “Please wait until I finish,” or simply “Hold on.” Watch the others—I’ll bet they do that all the time. People will only interrupt you if you let them.
• Formulate your ideas so that when you do speak, you are brief, clear, and direct. Use a volume slightly above what you are used to using—and if you are female, make sure you keep your voice in the lower register.
• If someone repeats an idea you just shared, and now all of sudden it’s heard, you have a clear example that you can discuss with your boss. Ask your boss after the meeting what you are doing that causes others’ voices to be heard, but not yours. The feedback might help you to use more effective language—you might learn something useful.

The thing you really don’t want to do is lose confidence and stop trying. Don’t take the bad behavior personally, because it probably isn’t personal. Sit up straight, look people in the eye, prepare for the meetings so you can be bold and succinct, and don’t give up. It might take a long time. It took time for you to be comfortable with your old team and it will take a while for this one to gel. Keep at it. You haven’t lost your voice—you’ve just misplaced it. So get it back.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I spent a decade of my career at a very sexy, high profile tech company and rose to a senior position. I worked 24/7 and my commute was a horror show. When my kids were little, my husband was traveling a lot for his job, and things started fraying around the edges, I decided to dial things back. I found a great position—a demotion—in a much smaller, not-at-all-sexy company. It took me a while to get used to a slower pace and a much more conforming, less creative culture. They have been doing things the same way here forever, and one of the reasons I was brought in was to pull us into the twenty-first century. I feel like I have finally settled in and am now doing really interesting and exciting things in my job.

My problem is one colleague.

She is at the same level as I am—a peer, essentially—but she has been at this company forever and doesn’t have much experience out in the modern world. I need to collaborate with her to accomplish my goals. I’ve tried several approaches, but she has literally ignored my emails, not returned my calls, and made herself inaccessible. I know she screens my calls and doesn’t pick up when she sees it’s me.

I’ve never had a problem creating relationships before now. I’ve always found a way to get along with everyone, even if it was hard. I finally came out and asked her what I was doing to cause her to be so hostile to me. I was shocked when she told me, straight out, that she is jealous of me—and therefore doesn’t like me and is committed to not working with me! She added that it was nothing personal and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was speechless. It would be one thing if she was unconscious about why she didn’t like me—that, I would understand. But how can someone just be okay with admitting to envy and accept that it’s okay to sabotage entire work projects because of it? It seems so childish and pathetic.

The worst thing is, I have no idea what to do now.

Green Eyed Monster at My Door

Dear GEM@MD,

Wow. This is a new one. Just when I think I can no longer be surprised by how frail and small human beings can be, I am as stunned as you are. I have often worked with folks who have had a badly behaved, envious colleague who seems to be unconscious of their motivations. But I agree—to be fully aware and conscious of such a low motive, and then consciously choose bad behavior and admit to it seems beyond the pale!

I immediately stooped to being as small and awful as your Green Eyed Monster—my first thought was that you should pour Elmer’s glue on her computer keyboard. But fun as that might be, it will not solve your problem. I had to go out to my advisory team* on this one, because I was stumped. Responses were quite varied, but I was not alone in my childish “glue on the keyboard” reflex.

Margie Blanchard wanted to know if you have a boss, and if there was any reason you couldn’t get some help there. She said: “Generally, I haven’t seen situations like this one resolve themselves and they can be very toxic to colleagues. This is why bosses exist.” My thought is that you probably don’t want to involve your boss unless you absolutely must, and you are trying to figure out how to deal with this yourself. To that end, the Blanchard Coaching Services team consensus is well summed up by Patricia Overland. We call this the “kill her with kindness and make her love you despite herself” approach.

• Always take the high road. Continue to invite—but not wait for—collaboration.
• Make your advocates aware. Don’t necessarily spill the beans about the conversation, but do ask for some advice on how you might engage the jealous person.
• Ask the person to imagine a situation where the two of you were working together incredibly well to create something spectacular. What would that look like? Then work to co-create that reality. (This one takes some Emotional Intelligence that the jealous person might not have, but it’s worth a shot!)
• If all else fails, don’t stop being fabulous. Make visible your intent to include and collaborate and find small ways to give the other person some credit, if possible.
• This is a relationship that will take time to build. Start small, build trust, and keep at it.

My approach would be to just plow ahead and tell the truth: go around her, above her, or below her to get done what you need to get done. If anyone asks why you are going about your business that way, tell the truth. Say, “Oh, Marci won’t work with me, but I have to carry on despite that.” No blame, no judgment, just a statement of fact.

When in doubt, it never hurts to take the highest possible road. No matter what happens, you will always know you did the right thing, did your best, and were the bigger person.

And if you do put glue on her keyboard, please don’t tell anyone it was my idea.

Love, Madeleine

*The unofficial Ask Madeleine Advisory Team is made up of the staff of Blanchard Coaching Services (Patricia Overland, Terry Watkins, Mary Ellen Sailer, Joanne Maynard, and Sally Smith), my sister, Mia Homan, and my mother-in-law, Margie Blanchard. My husband, Scott Blanchard, is also consulted on a regular basis but never gets any credit.

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Why? What causes some people to fully commit to the team and give their max effort while others don’t?

It’s trust.

In research conducted by The Ken Blanchard Companies and Training Magazine, over 60% of respondents say the most important factor influencing the effort they give to a team is how much they trust their fellow teammates.

Having high trust in your teammates frees you up to focus on your own contributions without worrying about others following through on their commitments. Trusting your team gives you freedom to take risks, knowing your teammates have your back and will support you. Team trust allows you to have open and honest dialogue and healthy debate that leads to better decision-making, and conflict gets resolved productively instead of people sandbagging issues or sabotaging the efforts of others.

But developing trust in your teammates doesn’t happen by accident; it takes an intentional effort to proactively build trust. There are three major areas to consider in fostering team trust:

Team Leadership Behaviors—The team leader needs to focus on behaviors that provide the right blend of direction and support for individual team members as well as the team as a whole. It’s a delicate balance between the two, because too much focus on directive behavior can lead to micromanaging and the squashing of team member initiative and morale. Leaning too much on supportive behaviors can result in a lax culture where accountability is absent and team productivity is diminished. When team members receive balanced leadership, clear expectations, praise and recognition for achievements, and seeing their leader act in ways that show he/she has the team’s best interests in mind, they are willing to pledge their trust to that leader and their teammates.

Team Culture & Norms—High-trust teams have clear operating norms and a distinctive culture that fosters the development of trust. Decision-making processes are a particularly important aspect of a team’s culture. Processes that allow for open sharing of information, encouraging divergent point of views, and fostering healthy debate among team members are all trustworthy actions a team can build into their day-to-day operations.

Personal Trustworthiness—Trust starts with you. If we expect others to grant us trust, then we have to prove ourselves worthy of trust. There are four primary ways we show we our trustworthy. The first is through our ability. Demonstrating competence in our work gives others confidence that we are skilled and knowledgeable and will be able to pull our weight on the team. The second way we demonstrate trustworthiness is by showing we are believable. When we give our word, people can believe it. They know we are honest, act with integrity, and behave in alignment with our values. The third way to show we are worthy of trust is to care about others. People want to know they matter and that their team members care about them as individuals, not just anonymous co-workers. Developing rapport, putting the needs of others ahead of our own, and giving praise and recognition are ways to show our care for others. Finally, the fourth way to demonstrate trustworthiness is being dependable. Dependability means you behave consistently, follow through on commitments, are accountable, and will be there in the clutch when your team needs you.

I think Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski sums it up best in his book, Leading with the Heart, the power that trust brings to teams and organizations:

“In leadership, there are no words more important than trust. In any organization, trust must be developed among every member of the team if success is going to be achieved.” ~ Mike Krzyzewski

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

The nature of teamwork in today’s organizations is evolving. Our research shows that both team leaders and team members have a key role to play in this evolution. As a part of our survey we asked people to identify the conditions that impact the level of effort they put into the teams they work on. (See Figure 1: My Personal Effort Depends On))

When it came to conditions that affect how much personal effort individuals put into their role as a team member, the top three statements respondents most agreed with were:

• Whether I trust the other team members
• The level of support I get from my team leader
• Whether or not team members are allowed to share opposing opinions and disagree with each other

 Figure 1: My Personal Effort Depends On 

Implications for Leadership, Learning, and Talent Development Professionals

The amount of support a team receives also impacts overall effectiveness. The survey found that the highest performing teams enjoy greater levels of support in general, as well as higher levels of training for both team members and team leaders. (See figure 2.)

Figure 2: Training and Support

For organizations looking to improve team training, Dr. Eunice Parisi-Carew, a founding partner and teams expert with The Ken Blanchard Companies, suggests training and development professionals be proactive and model an inclusive learning attitude.

“Involve others in crafting a clear purpose, as well as values and goals, for your teams. Have leaders follow through by reinforcing what was agreed upon, demonstrating supportive behaviors, and walking the talk,” she explains.

“Talk openly. Create an environment of safety and trust where people are comfortable speaking out about improving team performance without worrying about upsetting the status quo.

“Take action. Some leaders need to learn how to let go. Don’t wait for someone else to decide it’s time to collaborate—everyone is responsible for creating a collaborative environment.”

When people are busy, it’s normal for them to want to focus on getting their individual work done. To combat this urge, Parisi-Carew reminds us of an old adage: “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

You can learn more about the results of the Blanchard/Training magazine survey by accessing the full article in the July/August issue. After studying the survey results, training and development professionals will have not only a target to shoot for but also recommended first steps to take as they look to create or enhance team training programs in their organizations.

Having a coach who is pulling for the good of not only the team but also each team member can help keep the agreed-upon common purpose and desired outcomes top of mind all along the way.

When coaching in a team setting, focus on three objectives:

1. Establish the intent for coming together. First, make sure everyone involved knows the group’s common purpose as well as expected results from their work as a team. Clear agreements regarding intent will likely prevent individual members from getting off course.
2. Create a safe, confidential environment. To create a healthy environment for the exchange of ideas, follow basic coaching rules: keep confidences, allow everyone to be heard, clarify action steps, and set up accountability measures.
3. Track participation. Pay close attention to each individual’s participation. As we say at Blanchard, “No one of us is as smart as all of us.” To ensure all voices are heard, encourage input from more reserved participants by asking their opinion. Also, be ready to reel in more assertive team members if they begin to monopolize the discussion.

Organizations generally choose people for a project based on complementary skills needed to get the job done. Then, to achieve desired results, everyone on the team needs to pull in the same direction. Having a coach to set the stage and facilitate successful team meetings not only helps organizations get the most from everyone’s time and effort—it also helps people enjoy the process.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Building on the concepts he first explored in his best-selling first book,The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Lencioni recommends taking a moment to consider your own behaviors when working on a team. He teaches how using a Humble—Hungry—Smart model can help you and others become more effective team members.

Lencioni shares how leadership development experts can identify these traits in potential new hires along with sharing his own personal story of using these principles in his work and other areas of his life.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his key takeaways and the areas that he most plans to work on.

Listen to the podcast here:

Jon discusses how leaders can combat negativity at work through vision, purpose, and optimism. He explains how positive organizations outperform negative ones—and he shares intentional practices for increasing the levels of communication and connection on teams. You’ll learn how a combination of vulnerability, informal relationships, and connecting creates the glue that holds a high performing team together.

Jon describes how an attitude of positivity helps leaders define moments of heroism, hardship, and highlights to “get people on the bus” and heading in the same direction.  He shares a strategy—Love-Serve-Care—that converts talent to greatness and creates inspiring leaders.

Relationships are foundational. Jon talks about how anyone can become a “come with me” leader by investing in others and helping them grow.  He also describes how we can all find time to build relationships in our busy and stressful lives.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his thoughts and personal takeaways on Jon’s ideas. You’ll see how, when you take the time to serve others and help them grow, your efforts come back to help you grow as well!

Listen to the podcast here:

This guest post is by Lynn McCreery.

Managers sometimes have difficulty focusing on both people and results.  They want associates to feel excited about their work, but also need them to perform. Many managers feel they have to choose—and most choose results, focusing on people only when improvement is needed.

If organizations want to create a more balanced coaching culture, leaders need to change their mindset and behaviors. They must acquire the skills to have effective conversations with their direct reports—conversations that not only make people feel safe and valued but also lead to decisions and actions that help them grow and unleash their full potential.

Madeleine Homan Blanchard, Scott Blanchard, and Linda Miller of The Ken Blanchard Companies have created a simple framework and key skills that enable managers to master four basic conversations.  Professional coaches use these skills all the time. They can help any leader focus on helping people develop and move forward with planned actions.

• First, create a safe context for a discussion by building rapport through being present both nonverbally and verbally.
• Second, get the conversation focused around the direct report’s needs by identifying what will be most useful for the person. Be specific about the topic to be discussed without conveying judgment in tone or words.
• Third, involve and engage the direct report in finding solutions and determining next steps by asking open-ended questions that encourage problem solving.
• Fourth, reach clear agreement with the person about timelines and help them take accountability for their actions.

With a little practice, leaders can make a positive change—from focusing judgmentally on what is wrong and listening only with the intent to solve the problem at hand to having safe conversations about development and action.

Identifying areas for improvement is a necessary part of coaching. But don’t get so wrapped up in results that you forget about developing your people and helping them move forward.

About the Author

Lynn McCreery is a Senior Consulting Partner for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

This got me thinking. What makes us want to work with certain people? If we could choose our dream team, what would we look for? It would most likely depend on the task at hand—and, most likely, everyone’s team would be a bit different. That being said, I made a list of what I would look for if I were forming a team.

Each person I choose would:

• Have respect for one another and for me.
• Get on with things and think outside the box.
• Feel free to ask for help if needed.
• Have a solution in mind when coming to me with a problem.
• Be organized and adhere to timelines.
• Have a skill set that matches the tasks at hand.

Now I’d like you to have a think about who would be on your dream team and what qualities they would possess.  Is your list of qualities the same as mine or a little different?

In reality, of course, very rarely do we get to choose our teams. More often, teams are chartered and we learn about team dynamics as well as individual qualities of each team member after the fact. The entire team then begins the important work of understanding one another and building on each other’s strengths—which leads to the trust and confidence Ron Howard described.

Taking a minute to understand what we value, and to ask new teammates about their values, can be a great way to begin opening up to the contributions we need from others.

Practice this little exercise.  It helped me get clearer on what I want from the teams I work on. I think it will help you, too.

One such game that is wildly popular is Overwatch, a game that is highly role based and teamwork dependent. A group of six players face off against another group of six, escorting a payload to its destination on some maps or capturing a designated space in others.

Overwatch reportedly has 15 million players worldwide. Its popularity is partly due to the fact that in upper-tier play, massive amounts of teamwork, skill, and strategic thinking are required to be successful. This is a game that’s easy to learn but hard to master—where working together as a cohesive team takes precedence over your individual numbers.

I play Overwatch regularly—not just in casual mode but also in competitive mode. In competitive mode, every match will affect not only your ranking but also the rankings of the other players on your team. This can, of course, be frustrating if you lose games and your rank is decreased simply because you are paired up with other players who do not work well in a team.

One night I was playing with a mix of friends and random individuals. Normally, we would call out if we saw an enemy player attempting to flank or if we wanted to focus fire on one enemy player, but the communication wasn’t happening during that particular game for some reason. Perhaps it was because we were tired from having played a few games already and it was later in the night. We ended up losing that game and one of my friends became upset. He singled out one of the random players, questioning why he had not communicated with the rest of the team. The called team member became flustered and didn’t know how to respond. I tried to compliment his performance in-game, despite the lack of communication, but my friend persisted. Then another friend said she needed to call it a night and signed off, so we all did the same.

Reflecting on this incident, I realized some of the lessons learned could be applied to virtual teams:

1. Communicate. Be sure to communicate frequently with other members of the team. The more information the team has, the better decisions your team members will make. Take the initiative—make it part of the team culture to share your progress on tasks. Effective communication is key for any team to function at a high level.
2. Ask the right questions. When things don’t go your way, it’s natural to want to ask why it happened—but this typically puts others on the defensive. Instead, ask “What could we have done better?” Ask for ideas, use the word we to reinforce your commitment to being a team, and be descriptive, not judgmental.
3. Be positive. Focusing on the negative brings the rest of the team down. Don’t be that person. Be the person other team members want to communicate with and be around. Focus on the small wins, the learning opportunities, and the things that went well. Sharing your dedication to learning and growth will encourage others to do the same.

If you’d like to learn more about Overwatch, this video provides more details.

Cloud shares the importance of recognizing the impact that others have on your success. He explains how every significant act in your life always includes someone else.  How are you being influenced by others—and how are you influencing the key people in your life?

Cloud also shares a unique “four corner” model that helps you identify relationships that are toxic and lead to feelings of disconnectedness, inferiority, or feeling fake.  He describes how to move beyond these three negative corners and lead yourself and others into honest, authentic relationships where people thrive.

Cloud discusses strategies for moving beyond a good/bad mindset by creating a language and using a process that leads to real conversations that help people move forward. Whether it’s in a one-on-one conversation, or in a team setting, you’ll learn strategies to improve trust, feedback, and performance.

And don’t miss the final minutes of the podcast when Ken Blanchard joins in at the end of the interview to share his thoughts and key takeaways!

Listen to the podcast here:

Fast forward a few years to the early-2000’s and I’m supervising team members who worked remotely full-time. The exodus continued for a few years and by the mid-2000’s nearly half my team worked virtually. Nearly 20 years after I submitted my telecommuting proposal the world has become a smaller place. My organization has offices in Canada, the U.K., Singapore, and scores of colleagues work out of home offices around the globe.

My experience mirrors the reality of many leaders today. Managing teams with virtual workers is commonplace and will likely increase as technology becomes ever more ubiquitous in our lives. Here are three specific strategies I’ve adopted over the years in leading a virtual team:

Establish the profile of a successful virtual worker – Not everyone is cut out to be a successful virtual worker. It takes discipline, maturity, good time management skills, technical proficiency (you’re often your own tech support), and a successful track record of performance in the particular role. I’ve always considered working remotely a privilege, not a right, and the privilege has to be earned. You have to have a high level of trust in your virtual workers and they should be reliable and dependable performers who honor their commitments and do good quality work.

Have explicit expectations – There needs to be a clear understanding about the expectations of working virtually. For example, my team has norms around the use of Instant Messenger, forwarding office phone extensions to home/cell lines, using webcams for meetings, frequency of updating voicemail greetings, email response time, and out-of-office protocols just to name a few. Virtual team members generally enjoy greater freedom and autonomy than their office-bound counterparts, and for anyone who has worked remotely can attest, are often more productive and work longer hours in exchange. A downside is virtual workers can suffer from “out of sight, out of mind” so it’s important they work extra hard to be visible and active within the team.

Understand and manage the unique dynamics of a virtual team – Virtual teams add a few wrinkles to your job as a leader and a specific one is communication. It’s important to ramp up the frequency of communication and leverage all the tools at your disposal: email, phone, webcam, instant messenger, and others. It’s helpful to set, and keep, regular meeting times with virtual team members.

One of the biggest challenges in managing a virtual team is fostering a sense of connection. They aren’t privy to the hallway conversations where valuable information about the organization is often shared, and they miss out on those random encounters with other team members where personal relationships are built.

Team building activities also look a little different with a virtual team. Potluck lunches work great for the office staff, but can feel exclusionary to remote workers. Don’t stop doing events for the office staff for fear of leaving out virtual team members, but look for other ways to foster team unity with remote workers. For example, when we’ve had office holiday dinners and a Christmas gift exchange, remote team members will participate in the gift exchange and we’ll send them a gift card to a restaurant of their choice.

For many jobs, work is no longer a place we go to but something we do; from any place at any time. Virtual teams aren’t necessarily better or worse than on-site teams, but they do have different dynamics that need to be accounted for and managed, expectations need to be clear, and you need to make sure the virtual worker is set up for success.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Dear Madeleine,

I run a small creative services business with a partner. We’ve had many long years of almost freakish success. We’ve accomplished amazing client work with great employees who have been dependable and excellent at their jobs.

Over the years, we’ve also had our ups and downs—but lately it has been mostly downs. My partner is the creative genius and I’m the business guy. I’ll spare you the gory details, but over the course of the past year we’ve lost several employees to clients—and with them has gone some critical business.

I want to rebuild, but I am becoming more and more concerned with my partner’s behavior. He has always been a little flaky—he is a brilliant artist, after all—but he is becoming more and more erratic. He is either late for client meetings or doesn’t show up at all; he misses deadlines; and, worst of all, he shows substandard work to clients because he changes direction at the last minute.

When I take him to task, he tells me that I don’t know how hard it is to come up with good ideas and that he can’t rush the creative process. He confuses our remaining employees, who we can’t afford to lose, by giving them feedback that conflicts with mine.

I am losing heart and finding it hard to pitch new business when I have less and less confidence that we will be able to deliver. This business is our livelihood and I feel like I’m watching the whole thing swirling the drain. I’m torn between feeling resentful and feeling incredibly guilty for thinking about dissolving the partnership. I have some savings so I would be okay, but my partner has a large family to support and has zero cushion.

I feel terrible about the idea of cutting him loose but feel like I might have to in order to save myself. What to do, Madeleine?

Guilty

Dear Guilty,

Being in business for yourself is hard. Being in a business partnership compounds the complexity. Many people dream of starting their own company, but tales like yours are a powerful deterrent. It sounds as if you and your partner have had a great thing going for a long time with the sum adding up to more than the parts. And now one of you is not fulfilling his end of the bargain.

What, if any, agreements did you make in the beginning about the eventuality of one of you becoming unable to perform? Of course, your partner would first need to be accountable for his lack of productivity before you could bring up any agreements you might have made together.

The next option is the difficult “crossroads” conversation. This conversation needs to be identified as a critical juncture in the road, not just hard feedback. This is the big kahuna discussion where you both get everything on the table, hash things out, sift through it all, and start to work out a solution. I highly recommend you consider using the Heart to Heart Process created by Paul and Layne Cutright, a couple who have devoted their lives to helping people in partnerships of all kinds. You can find a step-by-step description of the process here.

I have used this process myself many times—I have a business partnership with my husband and I work in his family’s business, so I have an arsenal of communication tools! And I have used it to facilitate many difficult conversations for others. The key is for both you and your partner to trust each other enough to say what needs to be said so you can face reality together.

Hopefully you have enough history, respect, and affection for each other that you will be able to do it. You may discover some things that cause you to change your mind about ditching the whole business. You may very well fix the situation and get yourselves back on track. You may even hear some feedback that helps you to be a better partner yourself. Or you may hear enough to convince you that it is time to go your separate ways.

Ultimately, you will learn what you need to learn to make a sound decision and to do what you need to do to take care of yourself without guilt. And if you really make your best effort to talk things through, you will have nothing to feel guilty about.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Unless your laptop camera is very high quality resolution, people meeting with you virtually probably won’t notice the bags under your eyes from staying up the previous night with a sick child or that you didn’t have time to take a shower after your morning run.

The key to leveraging the world of virtual work is to be well known as a productive and personable team member. These 12 practices will ensure you consistently show up as positive, focused, and energetic. How many of these best practices are true for you?

1. Before calling or emailing, I plan what I want to communicate and consider the best approach considering the personality and the perspectives of the recipient.
2. When I answer the phone, I look away from my computer so that email and instant messages don’t distract me.
3. When I speak up on a conference call or virtual meeting, I deliberately smile so I sound more pleasant and approachable. (Yes, people can see and hear the difference!)
4. I use IM status codes deliberately to communicate when I need to focus and don’t want to be disturbed and when I am open for conversation.
5. I show genuine interest in my colleagues’ lives outside of our immediate project work by asking questions about their interests and sharing a bit about myself to build trust.
6. When I work on a project or task with someone, I take time to collaboratively share expectations and agree on deliverables to prevent misunderstanding and conflict. I do not promise what I may not be able to deliver.
7. I have a way (phone app, computer screen, etc.) of quickly recognizing the current time zone of a colleague and I modify my communication appropriately. (For example, you could start an email request with I know you are probably ready to leave for the day, so when would be a good time to chat about xx?)
8. I demonstrate respect for others by adapting my behavior based on their availability and workload, and I show appreciation for their efforts.
9. My shared team calendar is always up to date so that my team knows when I am available for meetings.
10. If I write an email when am annoyed, angry, or frustrated, I save it as a draft and review/edit it later before sending it.
11. I never multitask on one-on-one meeting calls and limit my multitasking when on large conference calls or meetings. (Exception: forwarding someone a document to facilitate discussion is acceptable since it supports the conversation.)
12. I only use the Reply All email feature when I am confident everyone on the list wants or needs to know the information I am sending.

In addition to reducing commuting time and saving money on a wardrobe, working virtually also allows you to choose how you show up to others. Use these behaviors to be the person everyone wants on their virtual team!

About the author

Carmela Southers is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in increasing organizational, team, and leader effectiveness in the virtual work world.

Using the acronym UNITE, the authors explained that the creation of a collaborative work environment rests on five foundational principles.

Utilize differences. Organizations need to appreciate and be open to people and ideas that may seem at first to be outside of the mainstream. The best companies seek out creative thinking from all corners of the organization. The focus for leaders is to make sure that all ideas are surfaced for consideration.

Nurture safety and trust. New ideas will flourish when people feel safe to share them freely without fear of judgment. Leaders need to give people space to experiment and innovate, view mistakes as learning opportunities, and encourage risk taking. Trust is also generated through transparency—when leaders share knowledge about themselves and are clear about expectations.

Involve others in crafting a clear purpose, values, and goals. Instead of seeing purpose, values, and goals as something always originated by senior leaders, the authors recommend that everyone be involved in the process. Doing it this way encourages a sense of camaraderie and ownership in the group. Leaders follow through by reinforcing what was agreed upon, demonstrating supportive behaviors, and walking the talk.

Talk openly. Underlining the importance of utilizing differences and creating an environment of safety and trust, the authors shared the benefits of people talking openly without worrying about upsetting the status quo. There are benefits to creative conflict—but only when people can vigorously debate ideas without getting personal.

Empower yourself and others. Some leaders need to learn how to let go. True collaboration can never exist if people constantly look to the leader to solve problems. So don’t wait for someone else to decide it’s time to collaborate—everyone is responsible for creating a collaborative environment.

When people are busy, it’s normal to want to focus on getting individual work done. To combat this urge, the authors remind us of an old adage: “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Collaboration Begins with You: Be a Silo Buster shows the way. The book is now available online and in bookstores. You can learn more on the book’s website—or, if you’d like to listen to the author webinar I attended, be sure to access the full recording.

Interested in getting your team together for a live event? The authors will be conducting a second live webinar on October 21 as a part of the monthly webinar series from The Ken Blanchard Companies. The event is free. You can learn more or register using this link.

“Collaboration is often hardest within polite groups of people because they don’t tend to express differences openly,” explains Parisi-Carew. “True collaboration is built on the appreciation of diverse opinions. In many departments or project groups, the standard behavior is to shy away from conflict or debate. People are afraid to speak their truth.”

Parisi-Carew, a coauthor with Ken Blanchard and Jane Ripley of the new book, Collaboration Begins with You, (on sale October 12) explains that one key to creating a collaborative environment is a department or project leader who models what constructive disagreement looks like. For leaders interested in taking some first steps toward improving collaboration in their organizations, here are seven suggestions—drawn from the book—for promoting healthy debate in your organization.

Seven Ways to Encourage Healthy Debate

1. Promote the idea that disagreement is constructive.
2. Encourage respectful debate around issues; support differing viewpoints.
3. Take a facilitator role if difficulties arise; seek to understand concerns behind each stated position.
4. Get training and train others in giving/receiving feedback and in conflict resolution.
5. Ask questions and praise candid answers.
6. See feedback as a gift, without judgment or defensiveness. Give constructive feedback and be open to feedback from others.
7. Show your colleagues what values look like as behaviors. Speak up in meetings. Encourage others to speak freely without fear of judgment. Welcome all ideas and consider them before decisions are made.

“As a leader, you have a large sphere of influence,” says Parisi-Carew. “That means not only modeling desired behaviors but also providing the environment, structure, strategies, and practices that support collaboration.”

A leader’s responsibility is to achieve desired results through people.  It works best with the collective efforts of the team and with everyone rowing in the same direction.

But many times managers and their people are not aligned on goals.  For example, we conducted a survey in a leadership class, asking leaders “How well does your organization perform alignment conversations?”  Out of 450 responses, 59 percent selected “Needs improvement” and 20 percent selected “What alignment conversations?”  For these leaders, there was a lot of rowing upstream.

When you have a rowing upstream moment as a leader, what can you do? There are many possibilities. Unfortunately, none of them involves throwing a mild tantrum—even though that would probably feel good in the short term!

No, the proper response is to take a deep breath (trust me, it helps) and examine your alignment behavior.  Here are three specific areas to focus on:

• Review the goals you have set with each of your direct reports. Are these goals aligned with the bigger goals of your group?  Are they prioritized? What needs to be adjusted?
• Meet with your direct reports to discuss and reset where needed. It could be as simple as a thirty minute check-in with the focus on aligning direct reports’ daily priorities with the priorities of the department.  I have experienced that many people tend to focus on unimportant, simple tasks vs. important, more complex tasks.  What is needed to connect to department priorities?  What direction and support is needed to get the important tasks completed?
• Recognize and praise progress. When guiding a direct report, leaders can be quick to point out what needs to change—but finding and pointing out what is positive and working builds confidence and commitment. Praise says, “I’m noticing the good work you’re doing and it’s important to our operation.”

A Common Direction

Checking for alignment and resetting goals where necessary may seem like common sense, but experience tells us it is not common practice. Take a minute to check in with your team and get everyone in the boat. Now everyone will be rowing in unison instead of watching from the banks.

And when other people see your team glide by, if you listen closely, chances are you’ll hear them saying, “Wow, you’re getting things done!  You’re making changes around here!  Thank you for leading!”

About the Author

Joni Wickline is Vice President, Professional Services with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Wickline’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This occurs in the “dissatisfaction” stage of team development when the team recognizes the discrepancy between what is expected of them and the reality of getting it done.

It is not a pleasant stage.

As a leader it’s important to differentiate between the different types of conflict teams experience and to have a plan for helping the team move forward.  Here are four examples of team conflict and some advice on how a leader can intervene properly from Dr. Eunice Parisi-Carew, teams expert, and coauthor of the upcoming book, Collaboration Begins With You.

Conflict over positions, strategies or opinions

If two or three strong, but differing, positions are being argued in the group and it is getting nowhere, a leader might stop the group and ask each member to take a turn talking with no interruption or debate.  The rest are just to listen and try to understand where they are coming from and why they are posing the solution that they are.  It may go something like this.

Leader: “Let’s stop for a minute. I want each of you state what is underneath your argument.  What is your desire, your concern, your goal, your fear or your need that leads you to that conclusion?”

In this instance, the leader’s job is to make sure everyone is heard. When the exercise is completed the leader should look for concerns or goals that people have in common. Once all are uncovered, the leader can build on any interests that are shared.  In most cases this becomes the new focus and it turns the situation from conflict to problem solving.

Mistrust or uneven communication

If some people on the team are dominating the conversation while others sit silent or appear to have dropped out, a leader might stop the process and ask each person what they need from others to feel effective in the group and how others can help.

Another simple practice is to appoint a process observer whose job it is to focus on how the team is interacting.  If the teams gets out of kilter—it might be tempers are rising or communication is not flowing—the process observer is allowed to call time and point out their observations.  For example, “In the last five minutes we have interrupted the speaker 10 times,” or, “We keep talking over each other.”  Just knowing this fact can alter the team’s interaction.  Soon the team will catch itself.  It is harder to misbehave once you know what the impact of your behavior is.

Personality clashes

If personal styles are very different and causing conflict among team members, a team leader might administer the DISC, MBTI, or another behavioral assessment tool to help people better understand each other and learn to work together.  These tools help people understand what the other person needs.  They can also provide a common frame of reference for dealing with individual differences.

Power issues and personal agendas

Conflict that involves power issues, or strong personal agendas must sometimes be dealt with also.  The reality is that some people just do not fit on a team and a leader needs to be willing to remove them or offer them another role. This doesn’t happen often, but occasionally it is needed.  The good news is that once it is dealt with, the team usually takes a leap forward.  This should be an option only when other attempts to work with the person have failed.

Conflict can be healthy for a team when it is channeled properly.  The challenge for leaders is knowing how and when to intervene.

Editor’s Note: This post previously appeared in LeaderChat as The Challenge of Working In Teams—Dealing With Conflict.

That was the feedback from team members to a recent survey about the state of collaboration within our department. The feedback was consistent that collaboration was…well…inconsistent. It all depends on who you’re working with.

In all organizations you’ll hear people complain about the difficulty of working with certain colleagues. The common refrain is, “If only they would____” communicate better, be more responsive, give me all the information I need…fill in the blank with whatever fits your particular situation.

Instead of being frustrated with other people not being easy to work with, shift the focus to yourself. Are YOU easy to work with? If you are easy to do business with, odds are you’ll find others much more willing to cooperate and collaborate with you.

Here are seven ways to make it easy for people to work with you:

1. Build rapport – People want to work with people they like. Are you likable? Do you build rapport with your colleagues? Get to know them personally, engage in small talk (even if it’s not your “thing”), learn about their lives outside of work, and take a genuine interest in them as people, not just a co-worker who’s there to do a job.

2. Be a good communicator – Poor communication is at the root of many workplace conflicts. People who are easy to work with share information openly and timely, keep others informed as projects evolve, talk through out of the box situations rather than make assumptions, and they ask questions if they aren’t sure of the answer. As a general rule, it’s better to over-communicate than under-communicate.

3. Make their job easier – If you want to gain people’s cooperation, make their job easier and they’ll love you for it. But how do you know what makes their job easier? Ask them! If handing off information in a form rather than a chain of emails makes their job easier, then do it. If it helps your colleague to talk over questions on the phone rather than through email, then give them a call. Identify the WIIFM (what’s in it for me) from your colleague’s perspective and it will help you tailor your interactions so both your and their needs are met.

4. Provide the “why” behind your requests – Very few people like being told what to do. They want to understand why something needs to be done so they can make intelligent decisions about the best way to proceed. Simply passing off information and asking someone to “just do it like I said” is rude and condescending. Make sure your colleagues understand the context of your request, why it’s important, and how critical they are to the success of the task/project. Doing so will have them working with you, not against you.

5. Be trustworthy – Above all, be trustworthy. Follow through on your commitments, keep your word, act with integrity, demonstrate competence in your own work, be honest, admit mistakes, and apologize when necessary. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if you want to work well with others, it’s imperative you focus on building trust in the relationship. Trust starts with you being trustworthy.

6. Don’t hide behind electronic communication – Email and Instant Message have their place in organizations, but they don’t replace more personal means of communication like speaking on the phone or face to face. I’ve seen it time and time again – minor problems escalate into major blowouts because people refuse to get out from behind their desks, walk to their colleague’s office, and discuss a situation face to face. It’s much easier to hide behind the computer and fire off nasty-grams than it is to talk to someone about a problem. Just step away from the computer, please!

7. Consistently follow the process – Process…for some people that’s a dirty word and anathema to how they work. However, processes exist for a reason. Usually they are in place to ensure consistency, quality, efficiency, and productivity. When you follow the process, you show your colleagues you respect the norms and boundaries for how you’ve agreed to work together. If you visited a friend’s home and were asked to remove your shoes at the door, you would do so out of respect, right? You wouldn’t make excuses about it being inconvenient or it not being the way you do things in your house. Why should it be different at work? If you need to fill out a form, then fill it out. If you need to use a certain software system to get your information, then use it. Quit making excuses and do work the way it was designed to be done. Besides, if you consistently follow the process, you’ll experience much more grace from your colleagues for those times you legitimately need to deviate from it.

No one likes to think of him/herself as being difficult to work with, yet from time to time we all make life difficult for our colleagues. Focus on what you can do to be easy to do business with and you’ll find that over time others become easier to work with as well.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Me: Thank you, Santa, for taking the time to meet with me. You must be exhausted getting ready for Christmas Eve.

Santa: Ho, ho, ho! It’s my pleasure Randy! I’m not exhausted, I’m energized! I love the work I do and consider myself blessed to be able to bring happiness and joy to so many people.

Me: You are one of the most trusted and revered leaders in history. Why do you think that is so?

Santa: Well, I’m humbled by that compliment. I believe a large part of it has to do with my dependability. In all my years I’ve never missed a Christmas delivery. I know that millions of young boys and girls are relying on me to bring them gifts and I never want to disappoint them. If you want people to trust you, you have to be reliable and follow through on your commitments.

Me: How in the world do you manage to make all your deliveries in a single night?

Santa: I can’t reveal all my secrets, otherwise FedEx and UPS might give me a run for my money! Let’s just say that I have to be extremely organized. Any successful leader knows that you must have a clear plan of action. It’s a cliché, but it’s true: People don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan. I maintain trust with kids and parents by being organized and methodical in my approach to work. It helps me stay on track.

Me: I’ve heard that you keep a list, you check it twice, and you know who’s been naughty or nice. Is that true? Why do you do that?

Santa: Of course it’s true! In leadership terms I consider it my way of “managing performance.” I like to stay in touch with how all the girls and boys are behaving and I think it helps them stay on their best behavior if they know there are consequences for their actions. The parents are the front-line “supervisors” in charge of their kids, so they send me regular reports about how things are going. I partner with the parents to help them set clear goals for their children so the kids know exactly what’s expected of them.It’s not fair to evaluate someone’s performance if they didn’t have defined goals in the first place.

Me: How do you keep all the elves motivated to work throughout the year?

Santa: I have the best team in the world! I’ve always tried to help the elves realize the importance of the work they do. They aren’t robots who work on an assembly line. They are fine craftsmen who are bringing the dreams of kids to life and that’s a very meaningful job. I also look for opportunities to praise their performance and encourage them to praise each other’s performance as well. It’s creates an environment in our workshop where we cheer each other on to greater success. Finally, I put them in charge of achieving the goal. I make sure they are sufficiently trained to do their particular job and then I get out of their way. The elves have a great degree of autonomy to do their work as they see fit.

Me: Santa, I know you’re tired and eager to get back to the North Pole and Mrs. Claus, so I’ll ask this one final question. If you could give one piece of advice to leaders reading this article, what would it be?

Santa: I would encourage leaders to remember the purpose of their position – to serve those they lead. Leaders set the vision and direction for their team, provide the necessary resources and training, and then look for ways to support their team members in achieving their goals. Successful leaders remember that the most important thing they have is their integrity and the trust they hold with their followers, and they continually look for ways to build and maintain trust with others. If they focus on that, they’ll be successful in the long run.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

An experience I had last week has me rethinking this position.

I got a call from a coworker. After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, the conversation continued down a personal line. I soon found myself telling her about my elderly father who had recently gotten pneumonia. She shared a similar situation she’d had and, although I don’t think she knew it, she provided me with a few nuggets of wisdom about aging parents that really helped me.

A few more minutes into the conversation, I was still wondering about the purpose of her call. That’s when I realized she was simply calling to connect and see how I was doing. Not long after that, we ended our call and I went back to work.

Taking Time to Connect

For the rest of that day and many days afterward, that call really stuck with me. The fact that she had reached out for the sole purpose of connecting made me feel, for the lack of a better word, special. As a coach, I know how important it is to connect with my clients. We teach it as part of our C-FAR (Connect, Focus, Activate, and Review) model in our Coaching Essentials leadership development program.

But that ten-minute phone call with my coworker drove home for me the point of how important making connection is in all our relationships. It showed me how impactful not always being “all business” can be. It also reminded me that connection needn’t be reserved just for coaching. So, while I’m not yet reaching out to people at work just to connect, I am remembering to foster a bit more connection with my coworkers.

Are you all business at work?  Could you benefit from a little connection?  Make a conscious effort this week to notice if you are taking time to connect with people at work.  If you are, pat yourself on the back.  If not, strive to do so.  Who knows—you might leave a lasting impression on someone just like my coworker did.

About Coaching Tuesday

Coaching Tuesday is a new weekly feature devoted to ideas, the latest research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.  Coaching Tuesday is written by Coaching Services Partners from The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

There is a wide variety in the definition of what comprises “working virtually.” It can include those who work full-time from home, part-time telecommuting, and everything in between. Regardless of the amount of time you or co-workers spend working off-site, virtual teams have unique needs that need to be addressed if they are to reach their maximum potential and effectiveness.

All successful virtual teams have three common characteristics: trust, attentiveness, and communication.

Trust – Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship and it’s even more important when building relationships virtually. Without the benefit of regular face to face contact (or any face to face contact), virtual teams have to be much more intentional about focusing on building trust. There are four core elements of trust: competence, integrity, care, and dependability. Virtual team members can build trust by demonstrating competence in their responsibilities, integrity in their actions, care by developing personal relationships with colleagues, and dependability by following through on commitments.

Attentiveness – It’s easy to “check out” or fly under the radar when working on a virtual team. Without the benefit of face to face communication, virtual team members have to work extra hard at being attentive through their verbal and electronic interactions. Leaders of virtual teams have to be diligent about encouraging participation, dealing with conflict, and appropriately rewarding and recognizing team members.

Communication – Body language adds tremendous context to communication with some studies suggesting it comprises more than 55% of the message transmitted…and virtual teams miss out on that (unless you regularly use webcams which I highly recommend). Virtual team members have to work diligently on their tone of communications (written and verbal) and learn to be more perceptive of the emotional content of the message being communicated.

Trust, attentiveness, and communication are essential characteristics of virtual teams and there are a number of strategies leaders can employ to develop these attributes in their teams. To learn more, I encourage you to download our free white paper, Achieving Excellence, Virtually.

Feel free to share your comments, tips, and suggestions on how you foster success in your virtual teams.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Here’s why:

1. If you create the agenda, you have a vested interest in pushing it through and will probably miss meaningful clues about others’ agendas and goals—which may be as important as yours.

2. If you are working to summarize key points and check understanding so the team can move on, it’s tough to listen openly to ideas and perspectives that don’t fit nicely into your plan.

3. When you facilitate every meeting, it may communicate to attendees that they can be passive and participate only on occasion, when needed.

4. If you do most of the talking, it’s easy to miss subtle clues like vocal tone, hesitation when speaking, or careful choice of words. This deeper listening takes great inner silence and focus.

Instead of running your own meetings, focus on being a great process observer.

This helps you anticipate problems and concerns in the team, react early and thoughtfully to conflicts and challenges, as well as take advantage of opportunities to build team spirit.

Certainly you have agenda items to add, but try delegating this responsibility to your team members. Let them set the agenda and facilitate the meeting. This way:

• You learn what is important to your team. Although their agenda may not align with yours, theirs probably includes items you hadn’t considered.
• When team members create and manage your team meeting, you are more likely to get new ideas and perspectives.
• When team members alternate meeting leadership, it develops their skills and increases their commitment to the team and its work.

Most importantly, when you allow others to facilitate your team meetings, you can lean back to observe what is really going on instead of having to constantly lean forward to push the agenda.

Delegate the facilitation of your next team meeting. You’ll be surprised at what you see and hear when you focus your attention on the dynamics of building a healthy team. 

About the author

Carmela Sperlazza Southers is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in increasing organizational, team, and leader effectiveness in the virtual work world.