Dear Madeleine,

I think I have a generational disconnect going on. I am a millennial (though I was born in 1981, so many people think I am GenX) and I supervise a lot of young people right out of college—classic GenZ people.

I am really struggling with this notion of privilege. When I was a kid, privileged basically meant people who had special advantages and tended to be oblivious about how much easier that made their lives, and how easily opportunities fell into their laps. To me, anyway, it almost always meant wealth.

Now, however, the term privilege seems to be used pejoratively about anyone who has something that somebody else doesn’t have. I feel like the young people I supervise are always looking around for things they see as unfair or offensive.

Just last week, I was explaining that a big project had gone to another group. Someone said the reason we didn’t get it was that the other group’s supervisor has a friend on the executive team. I replied that the choice was made because it is a global project and the other team has a lot more members on the East Coast, which makes the multiple time zones easier to manage. Some people seemed mollified, but others doubled down on their discontent.

My point here is: who cares? There are plenty of projects to go around, and there is no value whatsoever in investing in the whys and wherefores of how decisions get made. I don’t understand the knee-jerk reaction to assume that when someone else gets an opportunity you wanted, it is for a nefarious reason. It seems as if young people automatically assume the game is rigged and they will always be on the losing end.

I keep reiterating the only thing that matters is that we work hard, stay out of trouble, and produce good work. At least in our organization, my experience tells me we are created equal. If we strive to be competent and keep our commitments, that’s what matters.

Am I simply from a generation that is overly optimistic? What am I missing here?

Gen Z Confusion

________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Gen Z Confusion,

There is a lot to unpack here: generational differences, notions about privilege, taking offense from—well—pretty much everything. I started doing some research on all of it, went down a massive rabbit hole, and got myself in a muddle. Then, to reboot my brain, I read your letter about five more times. Here is what I have for you.

I don’t think this is a generational difference. I don’t think this is about privilege. I think what you are dealing with are some individuals in your group who have developed the habit of looking for stuff to rail against. This habit is not limited to any one generation. It has probably been part of the human condition since the advent of Homo habilis—roughly 2.8 million years. For every innovative early man celebrated for figuring out how to use a stone as a new tool, you can bet there was someone throwing shade. This insidious habit is a little like pinkeye—extremely contagious and just as nasty.

This might help you better understand what you are dealing with: the behavior you are experiencing is resentment. Brené Brown (whom my colleagues and I call “Auntie Brené” because she is such a font of wisdom) says this about it:

“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.”

                                                                                    Atlas of the Heart, pg. 33

Some of your people are putting a lot of energy into pointing out the ways life isn’t fair. There are definitely those who will swear this is a defining feature of Gen Z, but I can attest that plenty of Boomers did it. It may be more common among the young. As people get older, they tend to develop some equanimity around the sad truth that life is not fair and learn to get on with things. At least the lucky ones do.

The question is: what can you do about it? The key is to identify the people who are infecting the whole crew and keep them from doing it.

You might start with a candid conversation with each of them, individually. As you prepare, there might be some value in understanding the part you play in the dynamic. I understand your question “Who cares?” means you don’t really care and you don’t think anyone else should, either. It is a valid point, and you are the boss, but being right isn’t going to help you here. The more you resist caring, the more resistance you will get from people who think you should care. So step one is to get curious.

You can start with some questions to better understand the grievers’ grievances. They may have some valid ones—and you might find yourself caring more than you expected to. Even if that isn’t the case, simply listening can be perceived as caring and can often diffuse negative feelings. Questions you might ask are:

• Do you think there is a lot that goes on around here that is unfair or unjust?
• How does this affect you in your day-to-day work?
• What do you think can be done about it?
• Do you think you should be getting more of something (choice projects, pay, time off, influence) that you are not getting? How might I support you in getting it?
• Do you think there is anything within my control that I should be doing something about?
• Do you see how your focusing on perceived unfairness might not be useful in group settings?
• What might be different if you focused on what is working well for the team instead of what isn’t?

This conversation alone may change the dynamic. If it doesn’t, you can make a request. Ask the most vocal grumblers to stay focused on the positive and keep their complaints limited to conversations with you so that you can troubleshoot them together.

You can also share with your entire team that you have noticed a tendency to over-focus on real or potential negatives, which bogs everything down, and you would like to experiment with how to shift it. You probably aren’t the only one to notice this tendency. You might be surprised by ideas generated by others on the team.

Consider working together to come up with a shared vision and credo for the team. It would be made up of the possibility of excellence and the team’s shared values—essentially what everyone on the team thinks is most important in terms of working well together, doing the best possible job at any given time, and what makes the team especially valuable to the organization. There might be someone on your HR or Learning and Development team who can help you conduct a workshop to do this. If you are on your own, you will find some guidance here. When the whole team has agreed on what behaviors are out of bounds, there is a much better chance you won’t be the only one having to shut down behavior that derails conversations.

Your best bet is to stop worrying about labels and treat each person on your team as an individual with a world view informed by their beliefs and experiences. Meet each person where they are. Influence them by role-modeling fairness, caring, and using any privilege you may have to advocate for those who don’t have it.

You may just win over the doom-and-gloomers to the sunny side of the street.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the COO and founder of what is now being called a “mature” startup. We have been around for 12 years but have not yet exceeded 100 employees or reached our revenue or valuation goals. The company still feels like a startup because we have been experimenting with our business model and the pace of innovation, and the constant pivots are relentless.

Some of our business leaders are tired of it. They are expressing attitudes that are not helpful, such as “If we were going to make it, we’d have made it by now,” or “What’s wrong with things the way they are? We seem to be doing fine.”

We are fine, but we have not achieved our full potential—nor are we as profitable as we need to be to attract investors. My original business partner, who is our CEO, has recently taken a leave of absence to deal with a family matter. He was exhausted. The last few years have been a slog and Covid was a massive setback for us. It seemed like the right time for him to take a break.

I am covering for him and struggling with the Eeyore-like outlook among some of my key people. I’ve been working on finding ways to inspire them. We put a lot more focus on self-care than any other startup I know. I’ve given feedback to some who are resistant to change and to what feels (to them) like risky ideas. It does not seem to be making a difference.

I still know in my heart that we are going to figure things out and break through, but I need everyone to be all in for this last push. How do I get my leaders on board?

Just About There

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Just About There,

I’m a battle-worn veteran of a couple of startups myself—and now that I am nearing the last phase of my own career, your situation only confirms to me that startups are best suited for the young. I say this not to discriminate, but simply to point out that when the slog goes on for longer than anyone wants or expects, it can be hard to hold on to the giddy, cockeyed optimism required to stay in the game. The relentless pace of change can be exhausting, and you are going to need to find a way to tap into some of that initial startup energy you had at the beginning if you want to reach your goals.

I have a couple of ideas for you.

• Pay attention. Ask your people what specific concerns they have and listen in a way that makes them feel heard. I recently heard someone say “Clear communication is the oil that reduces the friction of living.” If your key people are turning into Eeyores (for the uninitiated, Eeyore is a character in the Winnie the Pooh stories who is depicted as having a bleak outlook on life), they probably need some attention. You may remember that Eeyore’s catch phrase is “Thanks for noticing me.” I wonder sometimes if leaders are afraid that listening and acknowledging people’s concerns means you have to do something about those concerns, when, in fact, simply listening often can make all the difference. You may think you are a good listener, and you probably are when you aren’t worn down by resistance. So if you want some technical tips on how to listen, you can find some here. For tips on managing constant innovation and change, you can access an excellent webinar here.
• Tap into personal motivations. It sounds like your leaders have run out of steam. There were specific things that drove them at the beginning, and anything you can do to help them get back in touch with those drivers will help. Maybe it was the promise of a big payout, or the ability to make an impact in the world, or the desire to be part of something cool and sexy. Whatever it was, help them remember it. Or maybe what matters to them has changed. If they are not going to be able to find it in their current role, it could be time for them to find another place that suits them better.
• Reclarify and rearticulate the vision. You and your partner had a big vision when you started. It is normal to assume that everyone has heard it and doesn’t need to hear it again, but that is incorrect. People need to be reminded of the big fat WHY all the time. It gets buried under the rough and tumble of the day-to-day slog. So dig for buried treasure, find the stories that will inspire, and tell them a lot more than you think you need to. This will undoubtedly bore you, because the vision is still so clear to you that you forget it is not as clear to others. Do it anyway.
• Stop giving feedback and start making clear requests. Feedback is tricky. We think if we do everything right when we give feedback, people will hear it, internalize it, and do something about it. That simply is not true. If you want your leaders to do things differently, you have to make a direct request. It needs to be crystal clear so that you don’t run the risk of it sounding like a suggestion. It is a request. For example: “Even if you disagree with the strategy, I need you to commit to supporting it and to make sure your team knows that you support it—even if you have your doubts.” You can point out specific dos and don’ts if you have examples. The kind of clarity you achieve with a direct request will help your leaders decide if they can commit or if they need to leave. This, of course, means some people may leave. But all you have is your people, and if your leaders aren’t with you, you need to replace them with leaders who are. This is harsh, I know. But it is true.
• Catch people doing things right. This is a classic bit of genius from Ken Blanchard and there is literally no situation in which it doesn’t apply. At the end of a long, grueling journey, it can be easy to pounce on every little thing that isn’t perfect. This can lead to an over-focus on pointing out what’s going wrong at the costly expense of directing focus on what is going right. You must make everyone feel that they are winning, even if it isn’t as fast or as evident as you would like.

It really does all rest on your shoulders, my friend. That is what leadership is. If it all goes sideways, everyone will blame you. And if you pull it off, you won’t get nearly the credit you deserve. If everyone could do it, everyone would be doing it, but it is the rare soul who has what it takes.

Put on your listening ears, share the inspiration, find and call out the best in people, and pray the gods will smile upon your efforts. Good luck to you.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine

I work at a large global company. I was recruited right out of college.

I was homeschooled, went to college early, and completed my undergrad and masters in four years. I only mention this to explain how I am a senior manager at 30. The only people who know my age are in HR. I keep it quiet.

It was incredible at first. Just telling people where I worked got that raised-eyebrow “I’m impressed” look. I was totally bought in and I took full advantage of all the training programs. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I have become a very good manager. I know this because the company regularly provides us with 360 feedback and it appears that my team thinks I can do no wrong.

So what is the problem, you might be wondering. Weirdly, I seem to be the only one who tries to practice what we learn in our leadership training. The higher I go in the company, the clearer it is that the leaders have zero interest in anything but stock price.

Leadership at the level I have reached is all about squeezing the most out of the lowest headcount. That’s how people are referred to: headcount. The level of burnout and mental health issues is staggering. The values are all for show, and the only thing that matters is profitability.

It took me a while to see it, but at this point I am thoroughly disillusioned. I tried to get a reality check during a conversation with my mentor of several years—a seasoned senior person in the company. He all but laughed in my face and told me to grow up. He was surprised at my idealism. He wasn’t trying to be mean, but it kind of crushed me.

I have devoted the last eight years of my life to this company. Most of the time I’ve felt the sacrifices were worth it. I don’t have any close friends who don’t work here. I have missed countless family events, to the point that my parents and sister have kind of accepted that they will never see me. I have nieces and nephews I have never met. I don’t feel like I can talk to my family because they will only tell me “I told you so.” I have never even had a serious romantic relationship.

I literally have no life other than this company—and in a very short stretch of time, I have realized that I have been hoodwinked into giving everything to the equivalent of the death star. I have stashed away quite a tidy nest egg, but a lot of money is tied up in stock options which won’t vest for several more years. I feel like an idiot.

What do I do?

Disillusioned

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Disillusioned,

I am sorry. Disappointment on this scale is terrible—just the neurochemistry of unmet expectations is debilitating. And you are also probably dealing with grief: the loss of a dream is, to use your word, crushing.

I don’t want to insult you, but there is some very good news here. You are thirty. There is a good chance you will live to be a hundred. You have decades, not to mention a nest egg, to reinvent your life. I personally made a complete pivot at your age, and my first professional chapter provided invaluable life experience for me to build on. Many of the people I’ve worked with who reached the top of the ladder only to find that it was leaning against the wrong wall were in their fifties, with big fat mortgages and private school tuitions they were on the hook for. You are young and you are free. It is hard to see that at the bottom of the pit of despair you have landed in, but it is true.

I can’t tell you what to do, but you are obviously super smart and you know that already. What I can do is propose some options for you to think about. Your first move might be to hire a good therapist or coach to help you through this crossroads, because finding your way out of this dark moment of the soul will be a journey.

It will serve you to do some deep thinking about what changed in you that caused you to now see things so differently. What is it about you that kept you from seeing it sooner? What is it that made you so enthusiastic about your job? What can you jettison and what can you keep as you move forward?

In the end you always have a choice.

• You can stay in the situation and suffer. You can’t unsee what you have seen, so staying in the situation will almost certainly lead to severe depression.
• You can try to change your situation. Is it too crazy to think you might be able to stay and change the system from the inside? Keep rising in the company and change the culture to be more aligned with the stated values? That sounds like a long shot, but certainly is a worthy goal. If you go that route, you will need to make a plan for how you might do it and then find ways to stay strong as you execute on the plan.
• You can leave the situation and seek to create a new one.  You could easily pull a full Jerry McGuire—and if you don’t know what I am talking about, watch the movie and you’ll see. Essentially, you will want to get some solid support to catalogue what you have learned from all of this and plot a course of action that makes sense. Make no sudden moves that you might regret.

The choice ahead of you deserves some real thought. You might want to take a long sabbatical—it sounds as if you haven’t stopped to take a breath and look around at the world outside of your bubble in a very long time or even, well, ever. Maybe go spend some time with your family. Go meet your nieces and nephews. Maybe travel a little bit, see the world—it is big and beautiful. Go meet some people and find some new friends who aren’t prisoners of the death star and don’t have Stockholm Syndrome. Take some time to ponder what your purpose is and what you might be able to accomplish with that big heart and extraordinary intellect. Now that you have seen what you don’t want, maybe it will be easier to see what you do want. Maybe you could take a leave of absence—take a break and then gut it out to the next vesting period. Or just walk away. With your experience, you know you will be able to get a job anywhere you want when you decide to go back to work.

With the right kind of help, you can consider all of these options and many more I haven’t thought of. I look forward to hearing what you decide to do.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

This is one of my favorite quotes, most often attributed to Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. It holds an answer to managing negativity in the workplace. But first, I want to be clear about negative thoughts and emotions.

It’s okay to feel anger, worry, and sadness. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to get upset. We all experience a spectrum of feelings throughout the day. It’s normal. Besides, the more we squash negative emotions, the more they appear. But we can learn how to respond when we want to hold onto those negative emotions.

The first step is to acknowledge that we all feel big feelings, then feel compassion for yourself when you have them and, eventually, for others when they do.

Recognize Negative Tendencies

We all have natural negative tendencies and thought patterns. So don’t beat yourself up—or at least try not to. Recognize these leanings and attempt to catch yourself before you go into your habitual swirl of doom. You know what that looks like. You might be one of those who identify what’s wrong before you recognize what’s going well. Perhaps you like to vent—a lot. Or, if you are like me, you get defensive when you get feedback and see it as a criticism. These knee-jerk reactions can go completely unnoticed by us because they are ingrained habits and impulses—learned behaviors we acquired long before we were functioning adults.

The key is to acknowledge a feeling and then identify if your reaction to it will be helpful or unhelpful. We obviously don’t want to act out negatively or do something that’s hurtful. But sometimes our natural tendency does exactly that.

I’ll give you an example. Last week I was triggered by one of my colleagues who provided input on a strategy document I wrote. The comments, I felt, were not useful. Instead of dismissing them as a reflection of the person’s own issues, I was triggered and unleashed. I felt annoyed and wanted others to feel my irritation and validate my frustration. So I immediately texted and called a couple of my closest colleagues and complained. I distracted myself from the issue at hand and got wrapped up in a negative cycle of judgment and griping. And while my peers understood and empathized, I can only imagine that my rant did not put a positive spin on their day; perhaps it even impacted them later on. It was not an issue that I was triggered, but it was that I let it play out with my teammates and truly created a negative work environment. Not helpful and not fair—to myself, my peers, or that clueless colleague who was trying to give me some honest feedback.

Don’t Gossip

Here is a confession: I struggle with gossip. I want to follow the Golden Rule. If I hear someone speaking negatively about someone or something else, I don’t want to participate or share a juicy story of my own. But I usually do. I sympathize and likely continue enabling the rumor mill. Why? I also struggle with being direct, so gossip is an easier way for me to process my feelings. Great job, Brit, on being self-aware. But I need to take this a bit further.

Really, the better course of action is to either not participate or change the subject. Have more empathy and compassion for those who are at the center of the story. We are all just trying to do the best we can with the information we are presented with at the time.

Goodbye to Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is as bad as gossiping. It can be used to gloss over any unpleasant truths in the workplace. Rarely are statements such as “it could be worse” or “don’t stress” or “look on the bright side” helpful to the individual who is having a bad day, for whatever justified or unjustified reason. Toxic positively feels a bit like gaslighting—as if the other person’s feelings don’t matter or aren’t appropriate.

As with gossip, the answer is empathy and compassion. How do you show empathy and compassion? Through listening with the intent to understand, validating those strong emotions, and offering support—even if it’s just an ear.

Flip the Negative Script

A very close friend of mine and I work together. We use a technique to manage negativity so we can help each other share strong feelings but also get some forward momentum. If this person calls wanting to air out grievances, I ask, “Do you want to talk to Work Britney or Friend Britney?” My response is different based on who this person wants to talk to. If it’s Work Britney, I’ll say something like, “Want to work out a solution together?” If she is looking for a friend, I’ll say, “Dude, that stinks. I’m here for you.”

You can use this technique with your people. Let them know you’re going to wear different hats based on their need. This way, you can either play the role of boss or lend a friendly ear. I’ve asked my leaders in the past to do this. It’s helped me be able to share my feelings and then make a plan–which often means being more direct with the object of my aggravation.

Find a Release Valve—A Healthy One

People call work a “pressure cooker” for good reason—we all need a release valve. But you need to find one that works for you. Maybe it’s journaling, or exercise, or yoga—whatever helps you process the big feelings. But watch out. Doom scrolling, gossip, toxic positivity, and other nefarious habits that cause more self-harm may seem to be effective release valves, but they clearly only perpetuate the negative cycle on yourself and others.

Set the Tone

Leaders have more influence than they realize. Just consider that a poor relationship with a leader is the top reason people leave a job. You can flip this dynamic on its head by asking people how they are doing, what problems they are facing, what’s their biggest challenge.

Just as important, you can set the tone for these conversations. Instead of focusing on the negative, you can ask people about their big wins in the past week. I recently asked my people what their best day at work was in the past six months. Smiles began appearing on every face. Their brains were working hard. Then they shared great stories—and the whole nature of the conversation changed.

You Be the Example

A leader’s job is to manage the energy in the workplace. If there is negativity everywhere, notice it, acknowledge your role in creating or perpetuating that environment, and make a conscious decision to do something different.

It’s an unrealistic attitude to think every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows. Just do your best to be more mindful of negative patterns. Craig Weber calls it “Catch It, Name It, Tame It.” Meanwhile, “Catch people doing things right,” as Ken Blanchard would say. Celebrate the small wins. Celebrate when things go well. And little by little, you’ll change the environment.

It all goes back to the Frankl quote. “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

We have a choice. Do we want to bring people down or lift them up? Do we want to share the latest gossip or simply move on with our day? Negative emotions are shared by all of us, but a negative environment doesn’t have to be. We have the power to create more shared experiences that are positive. It’s about asserting our freedom and remembering that we have a choice in our response—and then choosing the path that leads to our growth and happiness.

The hybrid/virtual work world presents many challenges for leaders. One of them is creating a culture of accountability.

Some leaders still think accountability equals “butts in seats.” But that outdated belief has become completely antiquated during the pandemic. People have proven they can succeed in a remote work environment.

Considering how quickly the workplace is evolving, creating a culture of accountability requires leaders to develop a new skill set. Here are things you can do to achieve this.

Psychological Safety is Essential

Accountability starts with psychological safety. People need to feel comfortable telling their leaders that they are struggling with an assignment without fear of being reprimanded. An atmosphere of trust is essential.

An environment that isn’t psychologically safe undermines a culture of accountability. If leaders don’t trust their people, they’ll micromanage them. If people don’t trust their leaders, they won’t share.

Leaders lay the groundwork for accountability by extending trust. This can be more difficult in a virtual environment where they may not be able to see someone’s body language. Then there are some leaders who are habitually cautious. They won’t trust their team members until their leaders demonstrate that they are trustworthy.

Considering our times, leaders must take extra steps to ensure their people feel psychologically safe.

Praise Often. Redirect Judiciously.

Accountability and engagement are interdependent. One way to create engagement is to praise your people when they do something well.

Most leaders believe they give their people plenty of praise. But research shows the opposite—people don’t think their leaders praise them enough. The ideal praise-to-criticism ratio is 5:1. We’ve evolved as a species to identify danger, so we are wired to dwell on the negative. When leaders criticize, it stings more than they might think. A generous amount of praise is needed to counteract this natural tendency.

How we give feedback should be even more nuanced. I recommend leaders use our SLII® leadership development model to determine what kind of praise will be most impactful.

When someone is new to a task and either an Enthusiastic Beginner or a Disillusioned Learner, it’s your job as a leader to recognize any progress the person is making. Celebrate progress. Praise them in front of the team. Confidence is a prerequisite for mastery, and by recognizing people’s victories you’ll help them develop the self-confidence needed to tackle even more difficult projects.

When someone has demonstratable skills and is either a Capable but Cautious Contributor or a Self-Reliant Achiever, giving them increasing autonomy will deepen accountability. The person has proven they can do the task and you want to recognize and reward their achievements. As they become more experienced, your job is to ask open-ended questions and listen to their responses. Be explicit about how proud you are that they have reached this level of expertise.

No matter who you are sharing feedback with, your mindset as a leader is critical. Never act in a way that can be interpreted as punitive or demeaning. Make sure your people know that your purpose is to help them win. This helps to maintain a culture of accountability.

SMART Goals Create Accountability

Everyone is more accountable when they have SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). People need to know what is expected of them and SMART goals can keep them on track. You can help your people attain their goals by showing them what success looks like for a specific job. This is particularly critical when you’re not in a face-to-face setting.

Regular check-ins are also a part of helping people achieve their SMART goals. If you and your team members are in the same place, you should have one-on-one check-ins at least once every two weeks. If your team is virtual, check in with each person more often—at least once a week. People working in a virtual environment need this. It ensures alignment, prevents feelings of isolation, and creates accountability.

Know Your Digital Body Language

Our digital body language, which is revealed in all our communications, affects accountability. The words we use reveal our intentions, our attitudes, and our feelings. But we often don’t take enough time to make sure we are understood. In fact, emotions in emails are misunderstood a great deal of the time. We need to be much more intentional about what we say and how we say it.

Try to make sure your communications aren’t just transactional if you want to drive accountability. Every communication should have a human element to it to demonstrate that you care for your people.

Here’s a tip I learned from experience. Don’t ever send a text message or an email without reading it through several times. Ask yourself, “Am I clearly saying what I want to say? Am I sharing my position and the thinking behind that position?” Doing these things helps ensure you have effective digital body language, which creates the psychological safety needed for accountability.

Be Available

Your availability and responsiveness are key to creating an environment of accountability. They are even more important in a virtual or hybrid environment than in a face-to-face workplace. People can see what you’re doing when you share a workspace, so they know when you’re busy. In a virtual environment, we don’t have this information and can come to any conclusion. For example, if you don’t respond to an email in three or four hours, the trust people have in you may take a hit, which can affect accountability.

One way to prevent these kinds of miscommunications is to set norms with your team. For example, discuss what constitutes a timely response. Get clear agreement and have everyone abide by it.

Good Leaders Create Accountability

Our changing workplace requires new ways of creating a culture of accountability—especially when so many leaders and their people are no longer in the same workspace. But the use of good leadership skills will inspire people to be accountable. And when that happens, your team will reach new heights of success!

Dear Madeleine

I am fairly new director in a large global organisation. We are a liaison team designed to work in tandem with product development and marketing.

I have a great team—all inherited and all very skilled and experienced. Their former boss (who was let go) was very rigid and very focused on process and details. He was not able to accomplish what the organization needed his team to accomplish.

I appreciate that the department runs like a well-oiled machine but I have been tasked with getting this team to innovate, try new things, and experiment. How can I get them to loosen the reigns and stop being so wedded to “the way we do things”? They were all initially hired because of their creativity, but it seems to have been beaten out them. How can I bring them back to life and help them get their spark back?

Catalyst

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Catalyst,

My first thought is that it has to be easier to get people to loosen up than try to corral a bunch of creatives to stay in their lanes. But I guess we’ll see if that’s true. Somehow the former director managed to create order and compliance, but he left the critical deliverable for the team on the cutting room floor. He probably used fear and intimidation to do it. So the first thing you need to do is make sure your people feel safe. They spent years trying to figure out how to make their last boss happy and therefore retain their jobs, and now here you are telling them that none of that matters anymore. It is bound to fill them with fear. So remember to tell them that you know the transition will be messy, you are committed to helping, and no one is at risk. Be ready to repeat it. A Lot. Don’t assume they will remember, because they won’t. Once the adrenaline and cortisol released in the face of big change stops pumping through their systems, they will calm down.

You might want to start with context. Explain where things went off the rails and what all of you, as a team, need to do to get yourselves back on track. Simply tell the truth without criticizing anyone or badmouthing the former boss. Just state the facts and clarify your mandate.

Then, so you don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, ask the group what they think works really well about their current processes. Managing the chaos that innovation and creativity invariably causes will be easier if you can maintain some of the well-oiled-machine aspects of the team.

Take some time to meet one on one with each member of the team so you can ascertain what each person’s strengths are and what they love to do most. You will be able to use your insights to put small groups together to work on projects.

From our research, we know a team leader’s role is to:

• set clear goals for the team;
• ensure the team’s purpose is clear;
• communicate how the team’s purpose is aligned with the organization’s vision, values, and strategies;
• track progress on deliverables; and
• hold team members accountable for their commitments.

For more detail on this, click here.

You might think about working as a team to create a team charter. This is defined as a set of agreements, developed through a collaborative team effort, that provides a framework for what the team wants to accomplish and how the team will work together to achieve results. A charter will help establish the team purpose, the team’s goals, who plays what roles, and the agreed upon behavioral norms. If you create the charter together, you will have a lot of buy-in from the team as they try on new ways of operating.

This covers all the basics—but I know you also want to find a way to encourage everyone to find their way back to their creative selves. Consider leading your team through a twelve-week program laid out in the book The Artist’s Way at Work. It is based on Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, now almost 30 years old and, honestly, as fresh as ever. I have been using concepts from these books with clients for decades. I’ve also used them myself when I have lost my mojo, so I can attest that they always make a difference and provide powerful results. Working through the program as a team will help everyone to bond—but, more important, it will help your square pegs find their way back to who they were before they were jammed into round holes. If it feels like too much to do the whole program, maybe choose a couple of chapters to work through. Or do the whole program over a longer period of time. It can only help—and will definitely get the wheels turning!

Tell the truth. Be crystal clear about how the expectations have changed. Keep the stuff that works. Help your people reconnect with themselves.

It is a lot—and it sounds like there is a lot riding on your being successful. Your team is vulnerable, but if you can earn their trust and make them feel safe, they will blow you away.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

COVID-19 has been a major disruptor, forcing countless organizations to innovate and make a rapid shift to the virtual world. In some ways, this has been a good thing. Many businesses—including ours—have expanded operations and found new revenue streams online. People working from home have gained more flexibility in their work day and are saving money and time they used to spend on commuting to the office.

A Troubling Trend

Yet the negative impact of the pandemic on people has been significant. For example, those working remotely are dealing with the stress that comes from having no physical difference between the workplace and their personal space. They are discovering that it takes extra effort to maintain meaningful work relationships. Perhaps the most troubling trend is that people in organizations around the world are experiencing the loss of a sense of community.

In our recent interview with Chief Executive, my wife, company cofounder Margie Blanchard, talked about the sense of community that has slipped away during the pandemic—and what people could do about it.

Why Should People Come to the Office?

“We have a challenge right now about why people should come to the office when they can do their work at home,” Margie said. “We need to be a lot more intentional about what’s good about coming to the office.”

A major good thing about coming to the office is that it can spark creativity.

“I was in the office not too long ago,” Margie shared, “and I noticed that when I was able to interact with people between meetings—when they’re relaxed, more casual, and maybe thinking thoughts that are more creative—I had some of the best conversations I’d had in a year.”

In short, breaking away from our home office work routines and interacting with colleagues at the office can boost our creativity—and sharpen our collaborative and social skills.

The Power of Gathering Together

At its best, a workplace is a community, a group of people inspired by a shared vision and guided by shared values. The advantage of a community is that it creates a collective energy even greater than the sum of its individual energies. The problem is that many leaders don’t know how to foster this collective energy by making the best use of time when people are gathered together.

“I’ve just finished this book called The Art of Gathering,” Margie said. “It’s about taking responsibility to make the most of coming together. Don’t just assume that by bringing people together, they’ll take care of themselves. If you’re having a meeting, make sure that meeting is facilitated well.”

 The key is to be intentional about fostering community.

“Left to their own devices, people will spend time with the people they already know,” Margie said. “They won’t even get the richness of belonging to an organization. You need to take care of people knowing each other better—not just dip right into the work that needs to be done.”

Good things can happen when people connect in a common physical space. When planned safely and well, these gatherings can bring joy and fulfillment that simply isn’t possible in the virtual world.

Community as an Antidote to Loneliness

Margie Blanchard sees a purpose for organizations and businesses that goes beyond simply accomplishing the organizational mission or making a profit.

“There’s so much loneliness out there today, so much isolation,” she says. “The workplace may be the one spot where people can connect. Connection is happening less often in churches and a lot of other places, even families. Maybe there’s a supreme purpose for having a boss that cares about you, for having work that’s meaningful, for feeling good about the work you’re doing and the progress you’re making.”

The workplace is where we can cheer each other on and get in touch with our shared humanity.

Create Community through Servant Leadership

The coming year will see a shift toward more compassionate leadership as leaders continue to adapt to people’s shifting needs and circumstances. But whether it’s in the office or online, leaders must learn to foster greater community. The first step is to become a trusted servant leader, focused on the growth and well-being of your people and your community.

On Wednesday, January 26, 2022, trust expert Randy Conley and I will be giving a special online presentation called Simple Truths of Leadership: Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader. If you’re interested in learning how to become a trusted steward of your workplace community, we invite you to sign up for the webinar here.

Dear Madeleine,

I was recently hired to be a director for a customer service team that provides specialty roofing products to the construction industry. We have had a terrible time with our supply chain and the company has resorted to using what we all know are inferior components. As a result, our customers are coming to us with a record number of problems that end up in my lap. My people are frustrated and overwhelmed. The sheer volume of complaints is unmanageable and the cost of fixing the problems is eroding the profit margins.

Here’s the kicker: my boss is now asking me to press my people to talk customers into “just living with” the low-quality products.

I have taught all of my reps some language to appease customers, but the whole thing feels sickening to me. I am trying to hold the line, not let my frustration show, and help my people make the best of an impossible situation. But I can tell my team is starting to hate me. I don’t know what to do. My stress level is going through the roof.

I was so excited when I got this job, and now I wish I hadn’t. Any ideas would be helpful.

Lost and Confused

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear Lost and Confused,

Your boss is asking you to talk customers into accepting less than what they expected, do nothing to rectify their situations, somehow convince your team to do the same thing—and, worst of all, develop the skills of a con artist. It sounds like the recipe for a heart attack.

I say no. Just no.

I just don’t see how you can do it. It would be one thing if there were no other jobs available, but everyone is desperate for talent and just about any job would be better than what you are being asked to do. Get busy on job sites STAT.

Of course, it could be possible that you misunderstood your boss, so check with him before you bail. Put your understanding in the clearest of terms and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated.

I mean, seriously. A customer service rep’s job is to understand the customer’s complaint and do everything in their power to make it right—or, at the very least, to tell the truth about the situation and admit that the company’s hands are tied. You are being asked to do something that is, in fact, the exact opposite of customer service.

You have allowed your excitement about getting the job to blind you to reality. Go get another job and encourage your team members to do the same. Your company’s management is going to have to figure out how to manage customer expectations and simply turn down work they can’t deliver on. But by the time they get there, I hope you will be long gone.

I’m sorry. I wish I had a better idea. I’d be interested to see any in the comments. But sometimes you have to admit the reality you’re dealing with and just get out to save your soul. Run—don’t walk—away from this madness.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have just been promoted to a very big role in an organization I have been with for two years. I came from another highly respected, very successful company. One of my mandates when I joined was to change some entrenched outdated processes and create a new strategic plan for my business unit.

Ever since I joined my new company, anytime I mention something we did at my former company, people roll their eyes, and say stuff like, “Yeah, well, you aren’t at that company anymore,” as if my previous experience has no value at all. And it just shuts down the whole conversation.

Matters have gotten way worse since the company hired a new CEO from another big successful company and he brought in a whole crew from his former company. Essentially, almost everyone who has been here for more than three years is a member of Team Legacy (my labels) and almost all of them are hostile to anyone on Team New People.

Team Legacy is left over from the glory days of the company, which are over. Although our products and services are still super relevant, almost every business system is outmoded, inefficient, and clunky. I am forced to communicate with certain Team Legacy people using email because they refuse to step up to using systems like Slack and Teams.

Many people from Team Legacy are still convinced that they can’t get anything done in meetings held using web conference and are waiting to make some critical decisions until people can meet in person again. We were almost there, and then the Delta variant reared its head. Now another six months has gone by and there is no end in sight. All the folks on Team New People had already been using web conferencing before the pandemic to avoid the cost and wear and tear of travel.

My mandate is to make a lot of big changes fast, but I am constantly running into walls put up by the folks from Team Legacy. We have shared all the positive impact in terms of cost and time savings from all the new platforms we are trying to embed. I have used everything I know about proper change management, but we still have more people digging their heels in than not.

When I try to have the conversation with influencers from Team Legacy, all I get is, “You’re not from here, you just don’t get it.” I am tearing my hair out. I would like your perspective on this.

Not From Here

______________________________________________________________

Dear Not From Here,

This sounds so tough. And I can’t think of a single client who isn’t up against this kind of thing in one form or another. All the change in personnel and in requirements to comply with new systems and processes has left people feeling inept and unsafe. When people feel unsafe, they tend to lean on the people and ways of bygone days when they felt safer. People just want to be able to do their jobs well. Company cultures are built over time, and you’re attempting to shift one where you’re the new kid. As Stan Slap once said, “Never underestimate the ability of your culture to bury your strategy.” He is the master of stating the sad, scary truth. You can read up on his definition of culture here. Your challenge is huge and I have nothing but respect for what you’re attempting to do.

The job of a culture is to protect itself. Until the people steeped in the culture can see how what you bring to the table will help them, they will resist with every fiber of their being. The only thing that will save you is building relationships. One at a time. Person by person. Relationships in which you are vulnerable, are willing to show yourself, and, most important, willing to do so in a way that demonstrates that you intend no harm and have people’s backs.

My own team recently got a new leader who has been a huge proponent of using Teams—and it has been a long, hard road, let me tell you. She has had to loop back and teach all of us multiple times how to do things properly. She has had to be patient, generous with her time, and kind. I’m sure she thinks we are all a bunch of hopeless Luddite technophobes, but if she does, she has never let it show. She redirects—kindly—when we make mistakes or admit we don’t know how to do things even though she has shown us several times. I have been really impressed. The thing about culture is that it isn’t rational, so trying to effect it using rational arguments will get you nowhere. You’ll have to win hearts before you can win minds. It takes so much time—way more than you want it to take and probably more than you think you have. But you aren’t going to get where you want to go without making that investment first. Take a deep breath and a big step back and know you’re going to have to slow down before you can speed up.

Your first move is to examine the ways you and other members of Team New People (TNP) feel superior to members of Team Legacy (TL). Then you must look at the teeny, little things you say and do that telegraph that sense of superiority. Your first reaction will be that you don’t do any such thing—and I guarantee you’re mistaken. So cut it out. You can’t control the behavior of others on TNP, but you can sure control yours. You’re probably revealing a lot more judgment than you realize, and nobody likes to be judged. Nobody.

Then it’s time to get to know everyone on TL whose buy-in you need. Schedule one-on-one meetings where you both answer questions that are designed to increase connection. Check out this old chestnut from The New York Times: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. Yes, I know these questions are designed to facilitate a romantic relationship, but there are some great ones that would be perfectly reasonable to repurpose in a professional setting. This will allow you and each of your people to begin seeing one another as an actual human being instead of a member of TNP or TL. It will give you insight into what is important to each person, how they want to be treated by you, and what will make them feel acknowledged and successful. You can then tailor your communication style in future 1:1s and even in moments in team meetings.

As you’re doing that, you’ll want to articulate your vision for your department: a clear vision of a possible future for your group and how it makes an invaluable contribution to the success of the company. Ken has excellent advice to get you started here. Once the vision is articulated and shared, you can work with your team to formulate the goals and action steps that will help you move toward it. Don’t worry, you’ll still have final say on the goals and the action steps, but if your team is involved in shaping the plan, they will be much more likely to get behind it.

It’s entirely possible that some folks on TL won’t be able to make the transition needed to be successful in the new culture you’re forming. That’s okay; eventually, they will self-select out and find an organization they will be more comfortable in.

As you go, the next time someone says, “You’re not from here, you just don’t get it,” instead of letting it shut the conversation down, try saying, “You’re so right, I’m not, so please help me get it.” Stop trying to persuade and convince people. Just ask questions and listen, listen, listen. People will talk if you listen, and when they talk they will provide clues for where you can find openings. People will have great ideas about how to effect change—then, when you implement those, it will have come from someone on TL. This is the age-old strategy of letting people think something was their idea. It’s still around because it works.

Stop talking about your expertise and how great things were at your old company. Instead, talk about the expertise of the people on your team and how to leverage it. Talk about things that are going well in your new company. Especially, share examples of how people on TL are supporting and benefiting from the changes. Your previous experience does have value, but nobody will care about any of it until they care about you. I once worked with a wonderful speaking coach who said, “They won’t buy the message until they buy the messenger.”

Leadership is hard and getting harder every day. Stan Slap also said, “If leaders could get where they needed to go by themselves, they would go there and send a postcard.” It’s funny because it’s true. You won’t get anywhere without your people.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what you were expecting. And it’s probably going to be a lot more work than you signed up for. But I guarantee you’ll be successful, eventually, if you try even some of this.

At that point, you’ll be an experienced technical expert and a true leader. So go forth and win some hearts. You will be amazed at what you can all accomplish together.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior executive at a fast-growing regional bank. One of our employees (I’ll call her Mae), who doesn’t report to me but on whom I rely on for several big deliverables on a regular basis, is driving me nuts. We are all very “nice” around here and no one gives anyone feedback, so I don’t know what to do about this.

All of Mae’s communications are delivered like a firehose of information: five-minute voicemails or three-page emails. She works in compliance, so most of what she is doing is CYA stuff.

It takes me way too long to hunt through her communications to figure out what I need to know and what I need to do. I am not alone. There is a joke around the branch that when you see an email from Mae, you can’t hit delete fast enough. She is oblivious. Help?

Stop the Firehose

___________________________________________________________

Dear Stop the Firehose,

Look. Just because the culture of the organization is that no one gives anyone feedback doesn’t mean you can’t. This is about your quality of life of work—and Mae’s ineffective behavior. You could chicken out and talk to her boss. That’s what most people do in “nice”—a.k.a. indirect, passive-aggressive cultures. Or you could act like the senior executive you are and make a request. After all, you must rely on her for work product. You have every right to do so.

Be kind, be gentle, be clear and direct. Take Mae aside, making sure you have privacy and won’t be disturbed. Tell her you find her communications hard to follow and too time consuming to digest. Then request that any and all communications to you follow this format:

Brief Hello,

A – Action: Exact action needed. Clear, concise, with deadline.

B- Background: Purpose for action, context for request. Use bullet points, numbers, or section headings if very detailed.

C- Close: Next steps and thank you.

This ABC model comes from The Hamster Revolution by Mike Song, Tim Buress, and our own Vicki Halsey. Our company has been using this format since the book came out, and it really makes a difference. People use it mostly when they are sharing critical information that requires action from the recipient. I can tell you that it takes a great deal of time and focus to write this way, because it forces the sender, not the recipient, to do all the organizing of ideas and thinking.

It works just as well for voicemails (who is still using voicemail?) and is excellent for texts and for Slack or Teams.

Tell Mae that if she sends you a communication that doesn’t follow the ABC format, you will return it to her and ask her to format it properly if she wants you to pay attention to it. I don’t know much about banking, but I imagine that being on top of compliance probably matters.

After your meeting, send her an email with the format you want—whether it is this one or another you prefer.

If you have an HR person, ask them to announce the new communication norms for the whole office as well. This would get everyone onboard with higher professional standards.

People aren’t born knowing this stuff, so you really do need to tell her. It is the fault of her manager and anyone else who is senior to her that she is oblivious. You will be doing Mae, yourself, and everyone else a big favor when you teach her how to craft effective communications. Don’t be critical or tell her that others are making fun of her. Just make a request and make it clear it is not optional.

Step up on this one. It is the right thing to do.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

First released in 2015, Under the Hood: Fire Up and Fine-Tune Your Employee Culture by Stan Slap offers a message to leaders that is even more important in today’s work environment. Slap indicates that if you really want your business to operate at maximum performance, you need to understand the critical difference between your employees and your employee culture.

Unfortunately, employee culture is one of the least understood concepts for leaders to embrace. Slap’s comprehensive research shows that leaders who do understand it are able to energize their workforce and build loyalty even through difficult times. He provides specific steps managers and leaders can put into practice immediately to improve employee culture.

The first part is to recognize that employee culture is a viable living organism with its own purpose, beliefs, and rules. It has the power to make or break any plans management wants to put into place. Leaders who learn to serve that organism service the organization as a whole. Part of that is treating people with the honor and respect they are entitled to, regardless of their position in the hierarchy.

As Slap says, “Be human first and a manager second.”

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Stan Slap, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

To hear Stan Slap and Blanchard thought leaders talk about employee culture and the currently changing work environment, join us for a complimentary, five-part webinar series on Returning to the Workplace: Exploring a Hybrid Model. Register for any single event—or all five—using this link: https://www.kenblanchard.com/Events-Workshops/Returning-to-Workplace-Series.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a division leader for a family-owned manufacturing company. The family members have somewhat antiquated views and are not particularly socially sensitive. My challenge is how to respond to the pronouns I’m seeing on recent email. For example, I am now seeing She/Her or He/Him on email signatures and video conference meetings with people outside of our company. One of my peers in our industry in another company just put xe/xem on xer email (which is correct usage).

My question is this: as a manager, should I add pronouns on my communications to make it safe for my team members to do so also? I have one person on my team who I think would appreciate it, but what about other people who might roll their eyes and see it as a political statement?

What is my responsibility with this issue?

She, He, Xe, Ze, What?

Dear She, He, Xe, Ze, What?

I appreciate your sensitivity to something that seems like a new wrinkle for you. People who are members of or who know and love members of the LGBTQ community have a head start on this trend. And it is very much a work in progress, as is all human evolution.

Your responsibility is to your own leadership values and to your organization’s values, in that order. (If you’ve never thought about your leadership values, a process to do that can be found here.) It is possible that, antiquated as it may be, your company does have stated values. If your desire to role model inclusion flies directly in the face of your company’s stated values, you are going to be in for some pushback. You may even already know that the stated values are pure lip service and that the real but implicit values are another thing altogether. Eye rolling notwithstanding, the real challenge will come when you get a cease-and-desist order from above. I hate to say that you might find yourself well served by dusting off your LinkedIn profile and resume. You will know based on your experience in the organization.

If you feel that it is part of your job as a leader to role model fairness and inclusion, then that is where your responsibility lies. But let’s not kid ourselves—it takes an awful lot of courage to stand by your values and standards for yourself. Not everyone is cut out for the fight. You need to make a conscious choice about just what you are signing up for. Maybe your answer is “Yes, that is what I need to do, but not right this minute; I will get my ducks in a row, educate myself, make a plan, and go for it at some future date.” Or you may decide it is not your fight to fight. I am not judging, but that doesn’t mean that others aren’t.

Some thoughts if you do decide to take the next step:

• Would you be comfortable contacting your peer who is already using the pronouns to ask if they might be willing to talk to you about their experience and point of view on the topic? Call me crazy, but I think if people are putting it out there, they are probably open to talking about it.
• You could speak with each of your team members individually or as a group. Maybe start with just introducing the topic, sharing some questions, and inviting conversation. Not everyone will want to speak up, and that’s okay. Focus on creating an environment of curiosity and openness vs. driving for definitive answers and positions. Many folks are in the exploration stage of this topic, so if your team can explore together, wouldn’t that be grand!
• One of my colleagues puts her pronouns on her email signature and provides a link to information for people who are mystified right next to it, like this: Pronouns: She/Her (learn more). This is a cool way to join the conversation while also inviting others to be curious.

It seems that pretty much everything can be interpreted as a political statement these days. We could allow the current climate to shut us down and crawl into a safe little hole—and again, I wouldn’t blame you; things are complex enough. But because you care enough to ask, I suspect you are a person who also cares about the experience that others not like you are having in the world. All I can say is that you will have to let your heart be your guide.

It is quite a can of worms, isn’t it? But you are clearly aware and thoughtful. I trust you will find your way to the right thing for you, right now.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Constant change is a way of life in organizations today. How do managers and leaders cope with the barrage of changes that confront them daily as they attempt to keep their organizations adaptive and viable?

Leaders often feel trapped in a lose-lose situation when they try to launch a change effort. On one hand, they risk unleashing all kinds of pent-up negative feels in people. On the other hand, if they don’t drive change, their organizations will be displaced by those that are committed to innovation.

To lead a successful change, leaders must listen in on the conversations in the organization and surface and resolve people’s concerns about the change.

Five Change Leadership Strategies

The following five change leadership strategies and their outcomes describe an effective process for leading change.

Strategy 1: Expand Involvement and Influence
(Outcome: Buy-In) By involving people in decision making about the change, leaders significantly increase the probability that the change will be successfully implemented. People are less likely to resist the change when they have been involved in creating the change.

Strategy 2: Explain Why the Change Is Needed
(Outcome: Compelling Case for Change) This strategy addresses information concerns. When leaders present and explain a rational reason for the change, the outcome is a compelling case that helps people understand the change being proposed, the rationale for the change, and the reason the status quo is no longer a viable option.

Strategy 3: Collaborate on Implementation
(Outcome: The Right Resources and Infrastructure) When leaders engage others in planning and piloting the change, they encourage collaboration in identifying the right resources and building the infrastructure needed to support the change.

Strategy 4: Make the Change Sustainable
(Outcome: Sustainable Results) Rather than simply announcing the change, leaders must make the change sustainable by providing people with the new skills, tools, and resources required to support the change. By modeling the behavior they expect of others, measuring performance, and praising progress, leaders create conditions for accountability and good results.

Strategy 5: Explore Possibilities
(Outcome: Options)Possibilities and options should be explored before a specific change is decided upon. By involving others in exploring possibilities, you immediately lower information concerns when a new change is announced, because people are “in the loop” about deciding what needs to change.

To summarize, here’s a good rule of thumb:

Organizations should spend ten times more energy reinforcing the change they just made than looking for the next great change to try.

Use these strategies to lead change in a way that leverages everyone’s creativity and commitment.

Want to learn more about a people-centered approach to change and leadership? Download a free 60-page summary of Leading at a Higher Level. It’s available for free on The Ken Blanchard Companies’ website and it contains the best thinking from the founding associates and consulting partners of our company. Use this link to access the summary.

Dear Madeleine,

I am an executive vice president at a large, fast-moving communications company. I started here as an intern. I love this company, my job, and my team—but most of all, I love to work.

I have been married 15 years and have four kids, ages 4-12. My husband has a great job with a lot of flexibility and works from home often, so he deals with the sick kids, the parent/teacher conferences—all of the things normally considered Mom stuff.

My problem is the constant judgment that comes from other women—old friends who stopped working when they had kids, neighbors who stay home with their kids, and even women in my company who have chosen to not go for senior leadership because they want to spend more time at home. I am sick to death of guilt-inducing questions such as “don’t you worry that your kids will resent you?” and “aren’t you worried that you’re missing their childhood?”

How do I respond with grace and aplomb?

Feeling Judged

Dear Judged,

Oh, my dear, I pray daily for grace and aplomb. I empathize with your position—in fact, I can clearly recall how the chorus I lovingly called the Mommy Police constantly criticized my deep passion for work when I became a parent.

The crazy news is that there will be people who judge you no matter what decision you make about working after baby arrives. If you had decided to stay at home full time, a different set of Mommy Police would judge you for slacking. Crazier still is that to some folks it’s okay for you to be a mom who works if you have to, but it isn’t okay for you to love your work. You have to hate it.

Rest assured, there is probably no mother in the western hemisphere (the whole world?) who doesn’t feel judged. The bottom line is that you have to make your own rules for yourself. You have to decide for yourself what it means to be a good parent and a good employee. With that choice comes a chorus of judgment from every possible angle. All I can really offer you is that if you are comfortable with your choices, you can just tune it all out.

The guilt is also a choice. To deal with it, you must be crystal clear about what is most important to you and what your standards are for being a good parent. Then design your life to comply with your own standards.

When my first kid was born, I read every possible parenting book. It was a nightmare. I got 27 different opinions about how to be a good parent. When I realized that I wasn’t a person who could stay home with a baby all day and stay sane, things really got complicated. I ended up having to work with a therapist to figure out my own point of view on how to be a good parent. Thereafter, I worked with a coach at every stage to redefine it for myself. How to be a good parent is such a deep mystery and so desperately personal that it’s no wonder we all judge each other mercilessly—it’s simply a projection of all of our worst fears.

Thomas Leonard, one of my dearest and wisest mentors, suggested discussing the situation with your whole family once they are old enough. Let them weigh in on a vision for how much Mom (and Dad, or other parent) works, and what Mom (and Dad or other parent) stuff is non-negotiable at home. Once you have worked it all out, you can have regular family council meetings to revisit how things are working for everyone. That way, everyone in the family at least has a voice.

So when someone questions your choices, the answer is something like this: “I think about my choices and evaluate them extensively on a regular basis. I recalibrate as needed. I discuss them with the entire family. And I love it all—my family, my work, and my life. How about you?” (I only wish I had had those words when I needed them!)

So go be a great mom, be great at work, and tune out the chorus.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am at my limit and hope you can help.

I am a senior team leader with a very high performing intact team. We have a new, very inexperienced board who is wreaking havoc with the way I run my business. They are putting nonrealistic pressures on me to generate numbers that are simply not possible given our current structure.

My boss is changing my results presentations to the board without informing me or gaining my agreement so now we have a situation of overpromising and underdelivering. She will be protected, well, because she has powerful high-level sponsorship and she will be able to make it look like it was all my fault.

I have already pushed my team members beyond their limits, and I am literally having heart palpitations.

I think at this point I am so stressed that I can’t even think straight, what advice do you have for me?

Heart Palpitations

Dear Heart Palpitations,

Ah, the joys of a new board. Everybody always thinks they can do it better than you, right? OK. A couple of thoughts for you.

First, calm down. Take a step back and get some perspective. Pretend you are viewing the whole situation from a helicopter 2000 feet up. Call up a good friend and tell the whole story as if it were happening to someone else so you can get some fresh angles on it and loosen some of the emotional grip.

Another way to calm yourself down might be to talk through the worst possible case scenario here – which may or may not be your getting fired, but let’s face it, it shouldn’t involve you actually dying. So, seriously, you have to get a grip or you are no good to anybody and the next thing you know you are having a heart attack because of work, which would really be tragic.

Once you have calmed down enough and don’t feel like you have a fire alarm going off in your head at all times, sit down and think about alliances. Who do you have alliances with in the organization—or who can you create alliances with who can provide counsel or other forms of support right now? This is when you really need help from your friends and if you have been having success in the organization you definitely have some.

Don’t try to go this alone, get some help. If this is happening to you it is happening to others too and there is strength in numbers. The fact that your boss is lying and misrepresenting your presentations is deeply concerning and I think you just might have to ride that one out.

You might think about sending your correct presentations to folks you have an alliance with, who might share them with their own bosses. Just in the spirit of information sharing, but also so you have a dated record of the truth. Or even escalate to HR. Yes, she has protection, but it is possible that some behaviors are beyond the pale, and she will get what’s coming to her.

Of course, you might wonder why I am not suggesting that you just talk to your lying cheating boss; that is certainly a good idea, but I guess I am assuming you have tried that or think it won’t make a difference.

Finally, you say you can’t achieve the deliverables with your current structure, which implies that you might be able to with a different structure. What if you were to come up with the structure that would allow you to hit the required numbers and make a case for the resources to build a new structure? Be creative and pro-active. If you review your worst possible case scenario, you might see that you don’t have anything to lose.

But first…get that stress under control, it is no joke. Once you lower your adrenaline and cortisol levels you will find that you are much better at creative problem solving. Put your hand over your heart, tell yourself that everything is going to be OK and take a deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in….

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

If someone asks my opinion about their organization making a shift to a coaching culture, I won’t say “think again, my friend”—but I will say “let’s think this through before you go spending a lot of money on consultants and a lot of time and energy rallying the troops.”

Who am I to say anything? I am a passionate advocate for all things coaching. I have devoted the last thirty years of my life to the ideas and technologies that have emerged from the birth and maturity of the coaching profession. I am a champion for leveraging coaching professionals in all areas of life and work. I have created classes and taught managers and leaders to apply coaching tools to increase their effectiveness with their people. I have taught coaching skills, the coaching mindset, and variations of coaching processes to HR and OD professionals—folks who are tasked with being mentors in organizations. I have spent the last twenty-five years deploying coaching in diverse forms in companies all over the world. And I have worked with several organizations seeking to implement a coaching culture.

Here are a few things nobody (except me) will tell you about creating a coaching culture:

Culture Change Is a Very Big Deal

Creating a coaching culture is culture change. That statement alone should make any experienced organizational citizen pause and cringe. It is not unlike asking an individual human being to change—to literally alter their personality. And we all know how rarely that succeeds. Culture change is huge and it is difficult. It takes years of dedicated—actually, let’s go ahead and call it obsessive—focus. And never mind senior level support: if the CEO isn’t frothing at the mouth to make it happen, forget it. In fact, the CEO will need to fire any senior executive who isn’t walking the talk, and for that they will most likely need Board approval. Do you see the problem here? There just isn’t a way to do it halfway. It’s all or nothing, from the very top to the guy who delivers the water.

A Coaching Culture Is Not for Everyone

Each organization must define what coaching culture means to them. I can tell you what I think it means but that won’t help you; it will only give you ideas. Many organizations I’ve worked with became so bogged down trying to get agreement on the definition that the effort actually died of its own weight before it got past the first stage. Other organizations, through their efforts to define and distinguish exactly what kind of culture they wanted and needed to succeed, realized they did need culture change—but the culture they needed was not a coaching culture. It was something else. I considered this outcome a success.

Coaching Is Service

The dirty little secret of coaching that nobody really talks about is this: being an effective coach involves being a better person. Asking people to coach is quite literally asking people to become the absolutely best part of themselves. Many people are drawn to being a coach. Many describe it as a calling. And this is accurate—because coaching is a form of service. It requires the coach to practice enormous self-regulation and demonstrate a highly refined way of relating to others. It requires the coach to put aside all distraction and be fully present in service to another. It requires the coach to manage their impulses to interrupt, solve the problem, or give the answer. These things are much easier for a professional whose only agenda is the success of the individual they are coaching. To do this as a manager or a leader—to constantly balance the needs of the organization, the team, and the individual—requires a very special kind of person. Most people who are successful in organizations are successful precisely because they do have good answers, they do forge ahead, they do solve problems, and they do not let the development of others get in their way. So for them to shift to a coaching culture, we are literally asking these folks to stop the behaviors that have made them successful and exchange them for behaviors that will make others successful. The top sales manager who crushes the numbers every year by scaring the living crap out of his people cannot be exempt. Good luck with that, my friend.

Every Employee MUST Buy In to the Culture

A coaching culture only works if every single individual contributor is fully engaged, bought in, and ready to give 100% to the job. This might seem obvious, but it must be said: for coaching to succeed, the players have to want to be coached. They have to have a strong desire to grow, develop, and improve. They have to be eager for feedback. They have to have a deep locus of control. And these are all traits the organization will need to hire for—they cannot be instilled in people. They can, however, be coaxed from folks who have been beaten into numb submission by nasty, stupid, or just plain careless managers. So a certain number of employees will need to be asked to leave and replaced. Can you imagine a more unpopular reality?

For a long time, coaching was a fad. I am thrilled to report that it seems to be here to stay. But I want to be clear: creating a coaching culture in an organization isn’t a quick fix, and it isn’t easy.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

As we wrap up season one of the LeaderChat Podcast, Ken Blanchard and Chad Gordon revisit some of their favorite episodes. They share new thoughts about the important messages from our guests and invite you to send questions you would like Ken to answer in future episodes. Just send your questions to podcast@kenblanchard.com.

Enjoy this episode of Chad Gordon interviewing Dr. Travis Bradberry, researcher and author of the best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0—which has sold over one million copies!

Bradberry shares how emotional maturity is absolutely critical for success as a leader, and how emotional intelligence is a capacity that can be learned and developed. He explains that increasing your emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness.

Bradberry discusses how to integrate EQ training into a leadership development curriculum—and how the emotional intelligence displayed by top leaders can set the example for all levels of leadership in an organization. Bradberry also shares strategies for dealing with stress, procrastination, and toxic people.

Emotions are a primary driver of behaviors and emotional intelligence is a foundational skill of all good leaders.  Learn how to be a master of your emotions in a way that increases your effectiveness as a leader.

And be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his thoughts and personal takeaways on Dr. Bradberry’s ideas.

Dear Madeleine,

I work for the tax collector’s office at my local county tax agency. The bulk of my efforts go to facilitating change into that environment. I am a career-driven person and I am finding it very difficult to influence others.

My job is under the umbrella of a state agency and I recently have been voted to be on a leadership board for my county. This organization has been plagued with old traditions and scandals of misuse of power. I’m optimistic and believe that I can change the environment—but at times it exhausts me.

When the HR department selected me for a grievance board committee recently, my boss asked me “Why don’t you let someone else win for a change?” I don’t know how to interpret that. What should I do differently?

Trying to Make Change

Dear Trying to Make Change,

The good news here is that it sounds like you are having quite a bit of success—but it also sounds like you are stepping on some toes to achieve it. Although a little toe stepping is probably inevitable, there might be some ways to soften your approach and make more friends than enemies.

Forgive me for generalizing, but in my experience people who have worked in local government a long time don’t love change. Government work tends to attract folks who seek predictability and stability. Even if they start out with the best of intentions—and of course, many do—if a system is in place that protects their job and benefits them in specific ways, they are loath to give that up.

You have stepped into the role of change agent, which will immediately cause others to suspect you if not outright hate you. You must realize that the role of change agent requires some advanced skills. If your boss is experiencing you as wanting to win at all costs, causing others to lose, somehow it appears that you are engineering things as win/lose.

To ease your path, you are going to have to develop more diplomacy. You’ll need to have conversations that will help people see the changes as a win/win. It is relentless, hard, and, yes, exhausting work. You sound like a logical person, so it is probably difficult for you to see why someone wouldn’t automatically understand why a change might be needed. Because it is so obvious to you, there is a good chance you may not be sharing all of the detail that might help others see things the way you do.

It wouldn’t hurt for you to be aware of Blanchard’s change model. At its core, it breaks down the kinds of concerns people have when change is needed and imminent, and it helps leaders understand the approach they need to use with each individual affected by change. In this recent blog post are ideas for some steps you might consider.

You also might be interested in Angeles Arrien’s work on change agents. In her book The Four-Fold Way; Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary, Arrien researched leaders and change agents in indigenous cultures. She found that, despite radical differences in culture and customs, they all did four things in common.

1. Show up and choose to be present
2. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning
3. Tell the truth without blame or judgment
4. Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome

This alone is worth the price of the book. However, Arrien also provides some excellent ideas on how to develop oneself if one identifies with any of the roles in the title. I would say you probably at the very least are a warrior and a visionary. These are extremely difficult roles to play in the world, and you will need to create a long-term personal development program to sustain your efforts.

In the meantime, work on developing and deepening your relationships, gathering input from stakeholders, listening, overcommunicating, and being kind. I am sure you are right about the old traditions and the bad behavior, but no one likes to feel judged. The past is the past. You represent the new. Let the new be characterized by drawing on what is best in people and what people are doing right.

And, I am sorry to say it, you’ll need to develop a thick skin because no matter how hard you try, some people are still going to hate you. It just goes with the job.

Fight on, change warrior!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I work in sales in a large medical device company. I kill my numbers and have been number one in my region for the last six quarters.

I need your advice. My company continually makes errors in creating inventory of the devices we are selling. I just don’t think that I, in good conscience, can continue to sell my heart out when I know that the company will not deliver on its promises of continual customer service and care.

I am at the beginning of my career so maybe I’m just being naïve—but I would like to think that a company like ours understands that when it’s a life or death situation for our customers, keeping some inventory would make sense.

I mentioned this concern to my boss and she looked at me funny and said, “Well, I’m not sure everyone would agree with you.”

I understand that holding inventory is seen as a liability on the books, but it’s becoming clear to me that in the name of better quarterly numbers and shareholder value, the company is literally okay with putting lives at risk.

Am I being a goody two shoes? Should I look for another job?

Outraged

Dear Outraged,

No, you’re not. Yes, you should.

Oops, I’m letting my own moral outrage color my coach approach here, so let’s back up.

The good news is that you’re killing it despite having serious reservations, so it sounds like you really could find a job elsewhere if you decide you can’t stand the situation you’re in. However, big public pharmaceutical and medical device companies have a fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders and must manage the numbers for the Wall Street optics—so I’m not sure you’ll find a different company with customer service as its honest-to-goodness number one priority. Exceptions might be found in privately held firms.

You could look for a company, a product, and a go-to-market strategy with less problematic integrity issues. Or, because your values are such a strong driver for you, you might think about how to apply your sales skill set, brains, and stamina to an organization that does something you believe in deeply.

What you’re seeing is probably the tip of the iceberg. Forgive me if I sound cynical, but I have been working in organizations for long enough to know that people at the individual contributor level only see about half of what’s really going on. So if you’re outraged now, you would probably be incensed if you knew everything.

You say you’re young, so maybe you’re not already wearing the golden handcuffs that come with a big mortgage and children who will require a college education—so the time to make the big decision is probably right now.

Nobody’s perfect and companies make questionable decisions all the time, so you’ll need to decide what you can live with and what is unacceptable. What I do know for sure is that people who spend too much time working in situations that force them to act in direct opposition to their own values eventually run out of steam. Somebody else might say, “Oh for goodness’ sake, grow up and get over yourself.” If you were supporting a family and had no other choice at all, I might say that. But it sounds like you do have a choice, and you have personal agency.

So here we are, back at the beginning. Yes. Get out. Go find yourself a situation where you can make a significant contribution to something great. You will never look back.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

If you are a leader looking to improve your organization’s current culture and work environment, here are five steps used by change practitioners that can help with your next change initiative.

1. Look at what needs to change. Ideally, a leader should do this collaboratively with the organization’s leadership team or the entire management team. Examine culture and behavior norms as well as strategic goals. Ask these questions: “How big is the gap from where we are today to where we need to be?” “What cultural behaviors do we want to keep?” “What behaviors do we need to get rid of?” Describe the ideal state. Now ask: “What will people be doing differently?”
2. Create a scorecard. What are the leading—and lagging—indicators of success? Prioritize short-term as well as long-term goals. What are expectations within the next six months? By year one? By year three? A scorecard allows everyone to see the targets as well as the progress.
3. Get feedback. Leaders need to embrace feedback to understand where they may be helping or hurting the change process. Leaders set the tone for organizational culture. When the culture isn’t working, the leader must look in the mirror and ask “What am I doing that may be either serving or not serving our culture?” It may be time for a 360° leadership assessment.

A good 360° assessment is one that gets specific. The best ones I’ve seen have the leader  work with a coach to create questions for the leader’s direct reports, peers, and boss. The coach conducts the interviews, pinpoints themes (similar responses from three or more people), then prepares a report and delivers it to the leader.

4. Be a role model for receiving feedback. A best practice for receiving feedback is for the leader to share with their team what they learned and what they are committed to improving, and then to ask the team to help keep them accountable. This is where the shift in culture begins to take shape. The leader is demonstrating that they are serious about the change and that they personally believe it “starts with me.” Leaders who take responsibility for what’s working and what’s not, and for the behaviors they personally need to embrace, will be the ones who can look back months or years later and be proud of the culture they helped create.
5. Get a coach. You’ve heard that behavior change, no matter how small, can be difficult. Habitual behaviors are often years in the making. Regular coaching sessions help leaders not only make needed behavior shifts but also practice those new behaviors. Some coaches will even shadow a leader and give them timely feedback.

Today’s companies need to be agile and reinventive to keep up with the changing demands of their clients—and the organizational culture plays a significant role in whether those demands will be met. The culture can determine whether people will embrace a change or block it.

The leader sets the tone for leading the change to create a new culture. When implementing change in your organizational culture, use these five steps to get management and employee commitment to making a difference!

About the Author

Joni Wickline is a Vice President with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Wickline’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I head up one of several R&D teams at a global consumer goods company. My team is amazing—brilliant, eccentric, creative, fun people who are blowing away their goals. (It takes a certain type of person to be good at what we do.)

Here is my problem. Some of my folks are good at the basics—showing up on time for meetings, submitting expenses, dressing appropriately, filling out paperwork, etc. But the others not so much. I am constantly on them to comply with the bare minimum of what is required to operate in this large system. Case in point: conducting performance reviews.

I know some managers who can throw all the rules to the wind and allow their creatives to operate as they please, but I just can’t do it. I have spoken to my own boss and my peers to get some ideas about how to get people to toe the line, but they all just laugh and say I’ll figure it out. I don’t have kids but I am starting to feel like a parent. It is making me really…

Cranky

Dear Cranky,

Presumably, you manage these people because you are one of them.  Are you not eccentric and creative yourself? How did the person previously in your position handle this problem? You must have leadership skills to have been so attractive to the best. Your people are doing well because you have created an environment in which they can thrive—and yet, you have also led them to think that they can get away with, well, acting like children.

Something you are doing—possibly not having proper boundaries—is sending the wrong signal. Henry Cloud is an expert on this. You may want to take a look at his work.

I am married to an eccentric creative, I manage a bunch of wildly creative people, and I am a parent. And still, my least strong suit is getting people to do tedious stuff they have to do, so I really do feel your pain. I must be clear, concise and relentless about what is necessary. Repetition and reminders without judgment are helpful. And however strong the temptation might be, I do not shield other adults from the consequences of their choices.

Your job as a manager is to clearly inform your people of the consequences of not complying with requirements. Putting a time limit on getting the performance review done might work: if something isn’t done in a certain time frame, they don’t get a raise. You may have already thought of this. I know with my huge team, we have finally resorted to not paying expenses that are submitted more than 30 days after the event. That works for some, but others just don’t care about money.

Another idea is to go to HR and see what special dispensation you might be able to get for your team. It may not be possible, but I know a lot of the large global companies are trying to be more flexible about these things. Maybe you could be a pilot program for some new, easier methods in this area.

Finally, leverage the genius of your team. Put this conundrum in front of them to solve. This is not your problem alone. It is draining you now and will begin to drain the energy of your team soon as well. Let them apply some of their brilliance and creativity—maybe even some old-fashioned peer pressure—to shift this situation.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“Part of effective communication between manager and direct report is a mindset and part is a skillset. Both are required,” says Phillips. “It’s easy for managers to convince themselves they don’t have time for quality conversations, especially when they aren’t particularly interested in having them and don’t really know how to do it.

“Every manager I’ve worked with has so much of their own work to do all day, every day, that some can’t see their way clear to spending time with the folks who work for them—other than performance reviews, rushed interactions, or crises,” explains Phillips. “Conversations between these managers and their people are mostly manager-led directives of ‘this is what I want you to do; here’s how to do it.’ The manager is focused on getting stuff done and on what needs to happen—not on their direct reports’ career growth or needs.

“Unfortunately, when individual contributors in this scenario become managers, they treat people exactly the way they were treated. Sub-quality conversations become a cultural norm.”

The good news, according to Phillips, is that managers can learn to be more effective in their work conversations.

“If a manager has the right mindset and training, it’ll drive the right behavior,” says Phillips. She recommends focusing on three specific conversations to get started.

The Goal-Setting Conversation

“All good performance begins with clear goals. Effective goal-setting conversations begin with clarity—what to do, by when, and what a good job looks like,” says Phillips. “Be specific—and don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s critically important to take the time to make sure both parties are interpreting the same words in the same way to avoid misunderstandings.

“Conversations and relationships can go sideways when people interpret things differently but don’t have a conversation about that interpretation. Never assume!”

This leads to the second important conversation at which managers need to excel—giving feedback.

The Feedback Conversation

“A friend of mine recently told me I tend to hijack conversations,” says Phillips. “The funny thing is, I was just about to tell her she does the same thing! We discovered that what I interpret as hijacking and what she interprets as hijacking are two different things.

“We talked about how, when she’s talking and pauses to think, I rush in to fill the empty space.  It goes back to my experience at home. In my family, you talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and there are no pauses. So when my friend goes silent, I fill in the gap and start talking about something.

“Then I explained to her that I feel she hijacks the conversation when I tell her about something happening in my life and she immediately turns it into a discussion about something that’s happening in her life. It’s related, but it still feels to me like she is making it about her.

“Because we are committed to our friendship, we’re willing to discuss things that are uncomfortable and to consider each other’s point of view. That’s important at work, too. Managers and direct reports need to have the type of relationship where they can talk honestly. When a manager cares about a direct report as a human being—and vice versa—they build up an emotional bank account they can draw from.  That allows them to have difficult conversations when they need to.”

Sadly, the word feedback has a negative connotation in business today, says Phillips.

“People seldom think of feedback as praise or recognition. When people hear that word, they think at best it’s going to be constructive criticism. But it rarely feels constructive—it just feels like criticism.

“It’s another area where most managers don’t have the skills they need—especially feedback around performance improvement and redirection. Managers are so concerned about how someone might respond to feedback, they tend to avoid it altogether.”

One way managers can be more successful when preparing to give feedback is to make sure they are coming at it from the right place.

“Your feedback can’t be based on your own personal agenda,” says Phillips. “It has to be about helping other people be successful or otherwise improving the team. If you come from a personal agenda, your feedback will come across poorly.

“In my conversation with my friend, she gave me the feedback about the way I hijack conversations because she wanted our conversations to be better.  I knew that, and it gave me a chance to think about my behavior and run it over in my mind. That was a good learning for me—to recognize that behavior I picked up from my family might be misinterpreted when I’m dealing with other people.”

The One-on-One Conversation

Listening and focusing on the other person’s agenda is especially important when managers conduct one-on-one conversations with their direct reports, says Phillips.

“It’s easy to fall into the manager’s agenda, where one-on-ones can turn into a review of how the direct report is doing on each of their goals. At The Ken Blanchard Companies, we teach managers to schedule semi-monthly one-on-ones, where the agenda is driven by the individual contributor and what they need.”

The manager’s primary role is to listen and provide support, says Phillips.  Senior leaders are generally better at this than are new managers.

“At the senior levels of an organization, a VP typically will have more experience asking a direct report how things are going and finding out what the direct report needs to succeed. As you move down to the frontlines of an organization, managers are less experienced at taking the lead in a conversation like that.”

Especially at the frontlines, Phillips observes, managers and supervisors need training in how to have effective one-on-one conversations. Otherwise, the direct report is likely to default to the manager and ask the manager what they want talk about.

“It’s important to teach managers to ask open-ended questions about what an individual contributor’s needs are. Suppose the direct report comes into the meeting with a blank piece of paper and says, ‘What do you want talk about?’ The manager should take that opening and say, ‘Let’s talk about some things you are working on. Let’s list the three or four tasks, discuss your development level, and talk about how I can help you.’ Eventually, that direct report will become more proactive and learn to take the lead in those conversations.”

It’s a process and a joint responsibility—one where everybody benefits, says Phillips.

“Leaders influence through the power of their conversations. Train your managers—and your individual contributors—in the skills they need for more effective conversations at work. It’s one of the best ways to improve performance and satisfaction.”

Would you like to learn more about improving the quality and frequency of conversations in your organization?  Then join us for a free webinar!

PERFORMANCE MANAGEMENT 101: 3 CONVERSATIONS ALL MANAGERS NEED TO MASTER

Wednesday, August 1, 2018, 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Managers influence and lead through the words they use and the communication skills they apply. In this webinar, Blanchard senior consulting partner Ann Phillips will share the three types of conversations managers must know how to conduct.

1. The Goal-Setting Conversation—how to set goals collaboratively with a focus on motivation.
2. The Feedback Conversation—how to praise performance when it is aligned and how to redirect performance when it is off track.
3. The One-on-One Conversation—how to set aside time to hear from direct reports using high levels of inquiry and listening.

Don’t miss this opportunity to evaluate how your organization is currently addressing performance management. Learn the elements of masterful performance management and how to apply these principles in your own organization. Ann will share tips and strategies you can put into practice immediately. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Register today!

Do’s and Don’ts When Creating a Servant Leadership Curriculum

You have to resist the temptation to treat a servant leadership initiative as just a training intervention, says Blanchard senior consulting partner Bob Freytag. “Instead see it, ideally, as a gradual way of being.”

You can check out the entire June issue here. Want Ignite delivered to your InBox each month?  You can subscribe for free using this link.

Dear Madeleine,

I have a great job that I love.  My problem is a colleague—let’s call him H—who is spreading rumors about me.

When I first started, he was super friendly and I thought we would be friends.  

We went out for drinks after work a couple of times and he gossiped about people in the company. He kept encouraging me to accept his friend requests on all kinds of social media. That was easy to decline because I am taking a break from it.

He must have realized I wasn’t going to spill all of the details of my dating life and he kind of dumped me.  I recently had lunch with another colleague in our department and she told me that he is telling people all kinds of things about me—such as: I got really drunk at a party and locked myself in the bathroom with his friend, and my boyfriend dumped me and I threw all his clothes out the window—outlandish, crazy, totally made-up stuff.   

I want to walk up to him and punch him in the nose. What the heck should I do?

Hopping Mad

Dear Hopping Mad,

Well, don’t do that!  I understand the urge, but don’t punch him. What he is doing is a form of bullying that is mostly deployed and perfected in middle school, as many of us shudder to remember.

The good news is that in the world of adults, everybody sees H for what he is and no one believes a word he says.  If he is doing it to you, he is doing it to others. Aren’t you glad you never got on social media with him and never revealed anything that might make you vulnerable?

You could tell your boss but (1) they probably already know and (2) they may or may not be committed to a culture that specifically states gossip/spreading rumors is not acceptable.

You might consider reporting it as harassment or hostile work environment to HR.  But ultimately, if he doesn’t have power over you and it doesn’t interfere with your doing your job, I would say laugh it off and ignore him.

And stay as far away from him possible.  His nastiness will catch up with him eventually.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

By combining the ratings of issues rated as very important or extremely important, researchers at The Ken Blanchard Companies were better able to rank the issues presented.

For example, 69 percent of respondents identified “Developing systems and processes that make it easy for clients to do business with the organization” as either very important or extremely important.

The complete list is below.

Most Important Customer Service Improvement Issues

1. 69% Developing systems and processes that make it easy for clients to do business with the organization
2. 64% Improving skills to diagnose the customer issue or need
3. 64% Developing empathy for the customer’s feelings and situation
4. 59% Improving listening skills
5. 58% Improving problem-solving skills
6. 57% Understanding the appropriate communication style to use with the customer
7. 56% Empowering people to utilize their authority to make decisions about how to support the customer
8. 56% Training people to be polite to the customer
9. 43% Making product improvements

To address these issues, Kathy Cuff and Vicki Halsey, co-creators with Ken Blanchard of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Legendary Service training program, recommend that senior executives focus on three critical areas.

Define a Service Vision. If your organization doesn’t articulate clear standards, guidelines, and a picture of how they want employees to interact with the customer, your customer-facing employees will be left to define this for themselves. This undermines the organization’s ability to create a consistent and cohesive customer experience.

Measure Customer Loyalty. According to our survey, 12 percent of respondents said their organizations do not measure customer service and another 16 percent said they didn’t know if their organizations measured customer service. This leaves the organization blind to customer needs and opinions, unable to make improvements to current products, and lacking information necessary to innovate with future products and solutions.

Train Employees. Training employees teaches them how to communicate effectively, become proactive problem solvers, and take ownership for creating a stellar customer experience. Without training, people aren’t always clear on what’s expected of them or what good service looks like. That can undermine the customer experience and your organization’s profitability.

“Service is an organizational culture issue,” says Cuff. “Our goal is for everyone in the organization to see customer service as their job. Whether you’re an individual contributor, a manager, or the CEO of an organization, you must recognize that you can make a difference within your own realm of influence.”

“That begins by being committed to customer service, setting a vision, measuring results, and offering widespread training,” adds Halsey.

You can download the research and learn more about Halsey and Cuff’s recommendations at a free resources page on The Ken Blanchard Companies website.

A new infographic just published by The Ken Blanchard Companies identifies that poor customer service costs organizations in excess of $300 billion dollars annually.

Statistics shown in the infographic include results from a recent survey conducted by Blanchard involving more than 500 leadership, learning, and business development professionals. Survey results reveal that 78 percent of respondents have bailed on a transaction or not made an intended purchase because of a poor service experience. And a whopping 89 percent have begun doing business with a competitor following a poor customer service experience.

Survey results highlight three common mistakes organizations make that limit their customer service effectiveness.

1. Failing to Define a Service Vision. 19 percent of organizations have only some degree of defined service vision. And another 14 percent have little to no service vision.
2. Failing to Measure Customer Loyalty. 12 percent of respondents said their organizations do not measure customer service and another 16 percent said they didn’t know whether their organizations measured customer service.
3. Failing to Train Employees. While 76 percent of respondents agree that customer service is everyone’s job, only 20 percent said their organizations provide training as a means for improving levels of service and only 15 percent provide training to managers of customer-facing personnel.

“Our approach with the Legendary Service program goes beyond traditional customer service training,” says Cuff. “Service is an organizational culture issue. Our goal is for everyone in the organization to see customer service as their job. Whether you’re an individual contributor, a manager, or the CEO of an organization, you must recognize that you can make a difference within your own realm of influence.”

“That begins by being Committed to customer service,” adds Halsey. “It continues with being Attentive to customer needs, Responsive in taking action, and finally, Empowered for the next opportunity to serve.”

You can download the infographic, access the research, and learn more about Halsey and Cuff’s recommendations at a free resources page on The Ken Blanchard Companies website.

“One of the times companies need to review the quality of their customer service is when they are trying to create a culture of service across the entire organization. That could be because they’ve grown or because they are merging or acquiring other companies and want to make sure there is a consistent culture as they come under one umbrella.”

Another event can be the annual customer service survey.

“Most companies have some kind of measurement tool that they use to measure customer service. It’s either a survey they send out, a Net Promoter Score evaluation, or something internal they use to measure customer perceptions about their service.”

These scores can be incredibly important, says Cuff—especially in industries such as healthcare where set standards and rankings are published nationally.

“When companies have that kind of data and are measuring constantly, they have to make sure there is consistent performance and a consistent level of service from their employees,” Cuff says.

Although she is a big believer in traditional customer service training that teaches basic skills, Cuff also believes that organizations need to take a look at how their culture impacts service.  That starts by recognizing that everyone has internal customers.

“Many customers come to us looking to improve the relationships and culture within their organization. They recognize that when people aren’t engaged with a company’s vision, mission, and values, it translates into their not being willing to go the extra mile to work with each other to improve processes. This will have a negative effect on service.”

In their development of The Ken Blanchard Companies new Legendary Service program, Cuff and co-creators Ken Blanchard and Vicki Halsey have focused on both the mindset and skill set required to serve customers at a higher level.

“It’s about looking at the relationships and mindset within the organization.  We try to get to the heart and help people realize we are all in the service business—and serving others is just as important as getting that report done, or doing that research, or making that outbound call.”

It starts at the top, with managers and senior leaders turning the organizational pyramid upside down and embracing their role in helping the people closest to the customer succeed.

“We teach managers that their number one customer is their direct report and that creating a customer service culture is an inside-out process. You have to demonstrate the same commitment, attentiveness, responsiveness, and empowerment internally as you would externally. That’s the magic of our approach.

“Whether you’re an individual contributor, a manager, or the CEO of an organization, you must recognize that you can make a difference within your own realm of influence. You can impact external and internal customers in a positive way that will keep them coming back.

“Our four-step Legendary Service model is about showing people you care.  It goes deeper than simply using someone’s name or smiling and thanking them. It’s about letting people know you are here to serve them. Every phone call, email, and interaction is about letting people know they are important to you and to the company. If they are external customers, let them know you appreciate their business. If they are internal, let them know you appreciate their work.”

This approach can succeed in any organization, says Cuff. She points to customer success in industries as diverse as healthcare, education, insurance, and business relocation services.

“At a relocation services company, for example, our client has earned more best-in-class ratings than any other company in the industry. Their net satisfaction rating is the highest among the industry’s four largest global suppliers—in fact, three times higher than any of the other three.

“The company also ranked first among the four largest global suppliers in the Willingness to Recommend category, which is widely considered to be the truest indicator of brand advocacy.”

Cuff encourages leadership, learning, and talent development professionals to learn more about the Legendary Service program and its immersive experiential design.

“It’s a one-day training that causes people to look at customer service differently.  We accomplish that through a number of activities where people get to practice what we are teaching them in the moment. That is the differentiator from other training where people just sit and take notes. This allows people to practice as they learn—and own it.”

Seeing customer service training as a culture initiative that is everyone’s responsibility is a bit of a radical approach. But organizations ready to take service to another level should give it a try, says Cuff.

“It’s an eye-opener for people. At the end of the program I often hear participants say how important it was for them to recognize internal customers. People feel great when they can connect to the bigger picture of serving others. A participant at a recent session said, ‘I’ve never thought of my peers or coworkers as customers! It’s one of the biggest aha moments I’ve had!’”

Legendary Service training is a great way to create a better customer service experience for you, your organization, and your customers!

Would you like to learn more about creating a customer service mindset in your organization?  Join us for a free webinar on April 24.

Creating a Customer-Focused Mindset in Your Organization

Tuesday, April 24, 2018, at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time

Great customer service, helpfulness, and collaboration are paramount to organizational success, yet few organizations have a strategic plan for building a service-minded culture. If you are responsible for creating a culture in your organization that’s focused on service, you won’t want to miss this one-hour webinar with customer service expert Kathy Cuff.

You’ll learn how to help the people in your company:

• Define a personal service vision
• Identify customer needs and wants
• Develop the skills needed to build customer satisfaction and loyalty
• Create a self-empowered action plan

Learn how to create a customer service mindset that teaches your employees how to deliver ideal service to internal and external customers in a way that creates a real competitive edge for your company.

Register today!

In a recent video interview about the release of The Ken Blanchard Companies new Legendary Service program, co-creator Dr. Vicki Halsey shares how vision, learning, and self-reflection can be used to improve service.

An Inclusive Service Vision

“You need a service vision as a first step,” says Halsey.  “Otherwise, people can see service as someone else’s responsibility that’s not really related to their own job.”

To illustrate her point, Halsey shares a story about work she did with the major league baseball team the San Diego Padres.

“We when began our work with the San Diego Padres, they saw themselves as being in the Sports Entertainment business—so employees taking tickets or selling drinks really didn’t have a service vision.”

That’s what led Halsey to work with the Padres executive team to develop a vision all of their employees could rally around: the business of Making Major League Memories.

“Now what is everyone trying to do?  They are trying to deliver a major league memory. A great service vision like this can make it easier for each employee to know how to behave on a day-to-day basis to really serve people at a higher level.”

The Gift of Learning

Halsey also suggests service providers get into the learning business by teaching their customers about their products and services.

“People love learning—including the distinctions of how your product was created, what makes it exceptional, and how it makes them, the customer, exceptional for purchasing it.”

Halsey shares a fun story of how one car dealer used this approach with her husband to increase his loyalty.

“This dealer sat with my husband for two hours, teaching him the history of the engine and everything that had gone into that car. As a result, over the years, my husband has gone back to that dealer again and again to buy new versions of the same car.

“Teach your customers,” encourages Halsey.  “It makes them feel smart and keeps them loyal to your organization.”

A Little Self-Reflection

Finally, Halsey recommends taking a second look at your beliefs around customer service.

“Customers are the reason we are in business—so we need to be responsive in the way they want us to respond. Are we empowering our people in a way that lets them bring the best of who they are to the moment of care when they are serving others?

“Our Legendary Service program gives you a chance to look at your customer service vision and values and choose what you want to be remembered for so that you can create those lasting memories of care that drive customer devotion.”

Use this link to see Halsey’s complete interview, along with other resources, in the Research & Insights section of The Ken Blanchard Companies website.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a university student who moved to the U.S. from India about 7 years ago. I recently completed an internship for a 1500-person company in which the CEO wanted to have more diversity.

In retrospect, I can see the company offered me the internship in part to show that they were focused on being more diverse.

The problem is, from the beginning my boss didn’t seem interested in utilizing me at all, and I was given only a few tasks that I completed quickly.

When I asked for more work, my boss told me I was too pushy. Then, after letting me sit at my desk with nothing to do for a few days, she told me I didn’t have enough drive.

I thought about leaving, but I stuck it out because I wanted a recommendation. But at the end of the internship my boss told me she couldn’t write me a recommendation because I hadn’t actually done any real work.

I’m trying to figure out what happened and what I could have done differently, but I also feel that the cards were stacked against me from the start.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Rejected

Dear Rejected,

Well, that sounds horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you. It does sound a little like you were hired to be the diversity poster child and that possibly you were foisted on your boss.

As a boss myself, it is my experience that managing interns is time consuming and often unproductive. Managers who do well with interns have usually asked for one to complete specific projects and are natural teachers who have a desire to nurture and mentor. Being a great boss for interns requires the willingness to take the time and an unusual generosity of spirit.

It sounds as if the person who was your boss didn’t sign up for an intern in the first place and was not interested in teaching, mentoring, or showing generosity of any kind. This may be the root of the problem.

She may also have had an aversion to your differences. It is entirely possible that you have been the object of conscious or unconscious bias. When people are not like ourselves—people of different religions, socio-economic backgrounds, race, etc.—it is easy to view them negatively without even realizing it. This is often called in-group bias.

There are so many different kinds of unconscious biases. It is fascinating and we are all susceptible to some, if not all, of them. You can read more about it here. It might not even be this complicated—it’s possible that your boss just didn’t like you. It happens. Even so, she should have been enough of a grownup to be civil and professional.

I am surprised you didn’t have a contact in HR you could have talked to. Even a small company should have had someone for you to go to. You may feel it is too late now. But ultimately, there are a couple of big things to take away here:

• You should not, and cannot, take any of what happened personally. It is always the leader’s job to adapt to the temperament of the employee and meet them where they are to help them succeed. Your boss wasted your time and left you feeling left out and confused. Her behavior was unconscionable and is absolutely on her.
• You must learn from your experience. Next time make sure the person you are going to be working for truly wants an employee and has a hand in hiring you. Never take a job unless you have a job description with clear tasks and goals. Make sure there is agreement up front about what a good job looks like so that you can do a good job! This helps avoid being at the mercy of a boss who isn’t on your side. Do your homework about the company beforehand—especially their efforts at diversity—so you aren’t an unwitting pioneer trying to blaze a new trail.
• Pay attention to your own biases. We all have them. The more you are aware of your own, the more effective you will be as you move forward in your career.

You are still a student, so you have time on your side. Best to chalk this up to experience, take what you can as learning, and move on. Most of us learn a lot about what not to do from terrible bosses, so there is value in that: you will never do to some poor kid what was done to you!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

That surprises some people who might expect him to point to his company’s flagship leadership program, Situational Leadership® II, or his best-selling business book, The One Minute Manager®.

Blanchard explains he is proud of the concepts within those products and how they have been widely accepted around the world. But over the last decade, he’s realized that the reason the concepts are well recognized is that they are examples of servant leadership in action—which he believes is the only way to achieve great relationships and great results.

“The world is in desperate need of a new leadership model,” explains Blanchard. “Too many leaders have been conditioned to think of leadership only in terms of power and control. But there is a better way to lead—one that combines equal parts serving and leading.”

In a new book, Servant Leadership in Action, coming out in March, Blanchard has invited more than 40 leaders from diverse backgrounds and industries to share their experiences with servant leadership. Here are a few of their stories.

Southwest Airlines

Colleen Barrett, president emeritus, Southwest Airlines, explains how servant leadership has been a key principle of success since the airline’s founding.

“For more than 40 years all of the leaders at Southwest Airlines have tried to model servant leadership. Herb Kelleher, our founder, led the way clearly—although I don’t think he knew what the expression servant leadership meant until we told him. Herb and I have always said that our purpose in life as senior leaders with Southwest Airlines was to support our people. At Southwest, our entire philosophy of leadership is still quite simple: treat your people right and good things will happen.

“We try in every way to let our employees know they are important and empowered to make a positive difference on a daily basis. Servant leadership isn’t soft management—it’s simply the right thing to do.”

That level of support manifests itself in many different ways at Southwest.  Barrett tells a heartwarming story of servant leadership in action that happened at Southwest a few years ago when a grandfather had to make last-minute reservations to be with a dying grandchild.

“The man was away from home in an unfamiliar city when he learned his grandson was dying and had only a couple of hours to live. The grandfather was desperately trying to get to him.

“Without any managerial intervention, our reservation agent directed the grandfather to head to the airport while she started working to clear obstacles from her end,” Barrett said. “She called the ground ops station at the airport, got hold of a ticket agent, and explained what the situation was. The ticket agent bought the grandfather a ticket with her own money, then went to the TSA checkpoint and told them she would be escorting a passenger who needed to make a flight. She then contacted the gate and explained the situation. The gate attendant, in turn, notified the captain on the flight.

“When it was time to push back, the pilot asked the ticket agent how close the grandfather was to arriving and learned the man was still about ten minutes away. The captain thought about it for a moment, then walked out of the cockpit to the front of the airplane and explained the situation to the passengers. He said, ‘We are going to wait for this gentleman. I think it’s the right thing to do.’ After listening to the captain’s explanation for the delay, the passengers broke into applause. When the grandfather arrived ten minutes later, he couldn’t believe the captain had held the plane for him. The captain’s response was, ‘Sir, this airplane wasn’t going anyplace without me—and I wasn’t going anyplace without you.’”

Synovus Financial

James Blanchard (no relation to Ken Blanchard) is the former CEO of Synovus Financial—a company whose servant leadership culture goes all the way back to 1888 when the founders of Columbus Bank and Trust Company were in the cotton mill business.

One day when a woman was working on a loom in the mill, her skirt got caught on the machine. The hem ripped and her life savings came spilling out on the floor. The hem of her skirt was the safest place she knew to keep her money. That day, the founders decided they could do better for their employees—so they started a bank that would serve as a trusted place for their workers’ life savings. The Synovus culture of service began the moment that woman’s savings spilled onto the floor.

“Over the years our name changed and we grew,” says Blanchard, “but our servant leadership culture endured and became even stronger. A few criticized us, saying the approach was too soft and permissive. So we had to prove it was the exact opposite—that people who were loved, respected, and prepared would perform better. Servant leadership led to higher performance and there was nothing permissive about it. We loved our people and we expected high performance. I believe when you truly care about someone, you not only love them but also expect the best from them and hold them to it.”

That approach has paid off for Synovus. In 1999, the company was named Fortune’s No. 1 Best Place to Work in America. They were on the list so often, in fact, the magazine asked them to stop entering and made them the first inductee into the Best Places to Work Hall of Fame.

“It was a great validation of our aspirations and our actions,” says CEO Blanchard. “I have been retired from Synovus for years but the pursuit of a servant leadership culture at Synovus was my greatest and most favorite satisfaction.”

Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen

When Cheryl Bachelder accepted the role of Popeyes CEO in November 2007, the company had been struggling.  Relationships with franchisees were not at the level they needed to be. Even so, a comment from a veteran franchisee caught her by surprise: “Don’t expect us to trust you anytime soon.”

Bachelder and her team decided to focus on servant leadership principles for turning around business performance.

“We began calling the franchisees our ‘number one customer.’ More important, as servant leaders, we began treating them that way. Our first principle was to respect and admire our owners’ passion for their work. Next, we listened to their needs and we accepted our roles and responsibilities in making things right. Finally, we put our owners’ interests above our own.”

The approach was a huge success. Relationships and business outcomes flourished. During the period from 2007 to 2016, under Bachelder’s leadership, Popeyes became a prosperous enterprise again. Franchise owners were served well: 95 percent rated their satisfaction with the Popeyes system at good or very good and 90 percent said they would recommend Popeyes to another franchisee.

“When we started, we didn’t know servant leadership would drive our success. We didn’t have a plaque in the office that stated our purpose and principles. What we did have was a team of leaders who were willing to put the success of the people and the enterprise before their own interests.”

The Power of Love, Not the Love of Power

A few years ago, Ken Blanchard received a letter from a man in New Zealand with a line that he believes sums up his leadership philosophy. The man said, “Ken, you are in the business of teaching people the power of love rather than the love of power.”

Servant leaders are constantly trying to find out what their people need to perform well and to live according to their organization’s vision. Rather than wanting employees to please their bosses, servant leaders want to make a difference in their employees’ lives and in their organizations. In top organizations, leaders believe if they do a good job serving their employees and show they truly care about them, the employees will, in turn, practice that same philosophy with customers.

Blanchard says, “We need servant leadership advocates and I nominate you. Go forth and spread the word to everyone who will listen. And remember: your job is to teach people the power of love rather than the love of power. After all, servant leadership is love in action.”

Would you like to learn more about servant leadership principles and how to apply them in your own organization?  Then join us for a free livecast on February 28!

Servant Leadership in Action Livecast

February 28, 2018 from 9:00 to 11:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Join best-selling business author Ken Blanchard and 20 other successful leaders for an in-depth look into the concept of servant leadership and how it can transform the culture and performance of your organization.  You’ll explore:

• What is servant leadership?
• How does it work in today’s organizations?
• The role leaders play
• How to get started
• How to keep it growing

You’ll hear personal and powerful stories from 20 of today’s most inspiring servant leaders. You’ll be motivated to act after seeing how others have achieved great relationships and results in their organizations through servant leadership.

Attend this online event to:

• Gain a clear understanding of this proven leadership model
• Learn the fundamentals of servant leadership
• Discover how other companies have achieved results
• Acquire ideas of how servant leadership could look in your organization

People lead best when they serve first.  Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how servant leadership principles can take your organization’s performance to the next level.

The event is free courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies. To learn more, visit the Servant Leadership in Action Livecast registration page.

The same can be said for a person with integrity. I like to define integrity as a unifying way of being. It integrates all of the aspects of a person.

But many work cultures promote a compartmentalized view of life—for example, an expectation that you use only your brain (your head) at work and save emotions (your heart) for what is going on at home. Such an expectation is unrealistic, unhealthy, and exhausting. When you compartmentalize, you lose the integration and integrity needed to make wise choices.

Instead of compartmentalizing, I ask my clients to consider integrating their brain and their emotions more fully and to use both in a complementary fashion as they make decisions.  By removing the blinders of compartmentalizing, they can become more aware of what is going on inside themselves. This increased self-awareness creates new choices and opportunities.

Have you been trying to compartmentalize your heart from your head? How would your life be different if you checked in with all of yourself instead?

Select a few of the following activities to expand the use of all aspects of yourself—not just your head or just your heart—to see where else you can open yourself and better access your integrity.

• Write in a journal, seeking to address thoughts, feelings, and sensations
• Practice meditation
• Discuss what you’re learning with a caring colleague, friend, or family member
• Adopt a new physical activity and let your mind wander in this kinesthetic experience

Create the opportunity for greater integrity in your life. Rather than using your mind to have the last say in all your decisions, allow yourself to check in with your heart, your body, and your soul.

By reinforcing your awareness that your heart, mind, body, and soul are integrated, you will expand your ability to benefit from all aspects of yourself—and you will fully benefit from being in integrity instead of just having it.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I work in a very large company and have managed a small team for a couple of years.  About a year ago, my department got a new leader, who is my manager’s boss.  This new leader came from another part of the company and apparently is being groomed for the senior leadership team.  Here’s the problem: he’s a first class jerk.  He withholds information, dresses people down in front of their own team, and takes credit for anything good that we all do.  He is just awful.   

I have nothing but respect for my immediate manager, who reports to the jerky boss.  But ever since the new leader arrived, my manager has changed into someone I don’t even know.  He seems paralyzed by indecision and is in a constant state of alarm.   He does not stand up for himself when he is bullied by his boss—which I know because I am often in meetings where this happens. 

This is driving me nuts.  I want to stand up for my boss but have been advised against it for several reasons.  I have also thought about submitting an anonymous report to HR about what I have seen.

I am losing respect for my boss and I am thinking of looking for a new place.  What do you think?

Want to Fight Back

Dear Want to Fight Back,

Well, that was probably good advice—you simply can’t fight other people’s battles for them.  And you probably can’t say anything to your boss about it, either, unless you have become really good friends and you are certain the breach of etiquette would be OK.

You can keep a copy of a great book about boundaries sitting on your desk—Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud—and if your boss sees it and asks about it, you can loan it to him.

You can, and should, report inappropriate behavior to HR; perhaps even keep a journal with dates and times of egregious incidents.  I don’t mean any disrespect to HR, but I doubt they will be much help unless you witness your boss’s boss doing something illegal, like sexual harassment or some other kind of blatant discriminatory behavior.  Since the person in question has made his way up through the ranks without challenge so far, the values of your organization probably don’t address the situation you are witnessing.  Or the values exist, but nobody really cares about them.

Ultimately though, this just isn’t a situation you can fix—so looking for a new place to work probably isn’t a bad idea.  Best case would be that your boss gets a backbone, things change, and you don’t need to go.  In the worst case, your boss continues to let himself be bullied, your whole team is miserable, and you are out of there.

Your boss is lucky to have you because you really seem to have his back.  Maybe he will realize it and seek advice and support.  Most people who have gotten themselves into the kind of negative spiral you describe tend to isolate themselves—which is, of course, the worst response.

Good luck to you. I can only hope this whole situation will help you to stand up for yourself the next time you need to, and to be a better leader as your career progresses.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

A visionary/direction, or strategic, role—the leadership aspect of servant leadership; and

An implementation, or operational, role—the servant aspect of servant leadership.

The visionary role involves establishing a compelling vision that tells people who you are (your purpose), where you’re going (your picture of the future), and what will guide your journey (your values).

When Walt Disney started his theme parks, he was clear on his purpose. He didn’t say “We’re in the theme park business,” he said “We’re in the happiness business.” Why the distinction? Because being in the happiness business helps keep Disney cast members (employees) aware of the company’s primary goal.

Disney’s clear purpose for his theme parks also helps his people understand the company’s picture of the future, which is “To keep the same smile on people’s faces when they leave the park as when they entered.” After all, they are in the happiness business!

The final aspect of establishing a compelling vision for Disney theme parks was to identify values that would guide staff and management on their journey. Disney parks have four rank-ordered values, called the Four Keys: safety, courtesy, the show, and efficiency. Why is safety the highest ranked value? Walt Disney knew if a guest was carried out on a stretcher, that person would not have the same smile on their face leaving the park that they had when they entered.

The traditional hierarchical pyramid is effective here in the leadership aspect of servant leadership. People look to their organizational leaders for vision and direction. While these leaders may involve others in the process, the ultimate responsibility remains with the leaders to establish a compelling vision and define strategic initiatives for their people to focus on.

After the vision and direction are set, it’s time to turn the organizational pyramid upside down and focus on implementation—the servant aspect of servant leadership. Nordstrom excels at this. Their leaders work for their people—and now the focus and the energy flows toward the customer, not toward leadership. This one change in mindset makes all the difference. Nordstrom’s servant leaders help their people live according to the company’s vision, solve problems, and achieve their goals.

Our daughter, Debbie, worked at Nordstrom when she was in college. After she had been there about a week, I asked her how the job was going.

She said, “It’s going well, Dad, but I have a really strange boss.”

“Oh?” I said.

“At least three times a day, he says to me, ‘Debbie, is there any way I can help you?’ He acts like he works for me.”

“He does,” I said to Debbie. “That’s the Nordstrom philosophy—they’re all about serving rather than being served.”

For years, Nordstrom employees were given a card with just 75 words printed on it. It read:

Welcome to Nordstrom

We’re glad to have you with our Company. Our number one goal is to provide outstanding customer service. Set both your personal and professional goals high. We have great confidence in your ability to achieve them.

Nordstrom Rules: Rule #1: Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.

Please feel free to ask your department manager, store manager, or division general manager any question at any time.

I love to tell the story about a friend of mine who went to Nordstrom to get some perfume for his wife.

The salesperson said, “I’m sorry; we don’t sell that brand in our store. But I know where I can get it. How long will you be in the store?”

“About 30 minutes,” he said.

“Fine. I’ll go get it, bring it back, gift wrap it, and have it ready for you when you leave.”

That’s exactly what she did. And she charged him the same price she had paid at the other store. Nordstrom didn’t make any money on the deal, but what did they make? A raving fan customer.

So you see, servant leadership isn’t a strange concept at all. Large organizations like Disney and Nordstrom have been practicing it for years and doing pretty well. How about you and your company? Give servant leadership a try—you’ll be surprised at how it will help you achieve great relationships and great results.

– People who exhibit the behaviors of a self leader are more likely to expend discretionary effort on behalf of their organizations.

– People who are self leaders are more likely to have positive feelings about their jobs.

– Self leaders are more likely to perform at high levels, endorse their organization to others, remain with their organizations, and act as good organizational citizens.

For organizations looking to create a culture of self leadership in their organizations, Susan Fowler, one of the lead researchers in the study, recommends that everyone, regardless of their position in an organization, learn the skills necessary to become a self leader. Fowler explains that self leadership is a mindset and skillset that can be taught and learned.

The mindset of a self leader includes three attitudes.

Challenge Assumed Constraints. Fowler says that for individual contributors to evolve into self leaders, they need to challenge their assumed constraints every day at work. For example, if you assume that no one will listen to your idea because you tried once and were rejected, then you seriously limit your ability to effect positive change.

Activate Points of Power. Next, Fowler says, is to recognize and leverage the power you have instead of focusing on the power you don’t have. Fowler explains that people often point to a lack of position power (having a position of authority to allocate budget and make personnel decisions) instead of recognizing four other types of power they could leverage.

• Task power (the ability to influence how a job or task is executed)
• Personal power (having personal characteristics that provide an edge when pursuing goals)
• Relationship power (being connected or friendly with people who have power)
• Knowledge power (experience and expertise)

Be Proactive. The third component of a self-leadership mindset is the ability to be proactive. Self leaders don’t always wait to be told what to do, says Fowler. Instead they hold themselves accountable for getting what they need to succeed. They think for themselves and make suggestions for improving things in the department and in their roles. They conduct proactive conversations at every level of their development to solicit feedback and ask for direction and support.

With a proper mindset in place, Fowler says people can begin to develop a three-part self leadership skillset.

Setting Goals. Self leaders take the lead to make sure their goals are specific, motivating, attainable, relevant, and trackable. If a goal lacks specificity, they seek clarification. If a goal is not attainable or relevant, they negotiate to make it more fair, within their control, and tied to the company’s metrics. If a goal is not optimally motivating for them, they reframe the goal so it is meaningful by aligning the goal to personal values or a noble purpose.

Diagnosing Development Level. In this second component of a self-leadership skillset, people learn to diagnose their own development level—their current level of competence and commitment for achieving a goal or task. Among the hallmarks of self leadership is learning to diagnose personal competence and commitment and identify what is needed to speed up the process of development and growth.

Matching. The third component of a self-leadership skillset teaches people how to get a leadership style that matches their needs. After diagnosing their competence and commitment on a particular goal, self leaders proactively ask for the direction (guidance and clarification) and support (listening and problem solving) they need to make progress on the goal.

Fowler points out that people equipped with the skills of self-leadership feel more positive about themselves and their jobs. They also have the characteristics of employee work passion: they perform at higher levels, endorse the organization positively, have higher levels of autonomy and competence, and are more likely to remain with the organization.

“When people become empowered self leaders, they’re proactive self-starters who look for ways to make your organization flourish.”

As Fowler and her research colleagues identify, the most crucial element in successful initiatives lies in the proactive behavior of the individual contributors required to carry them out.

“Organizations would be wise to equip their employees with the mindset and skillset to diagnose their situation, accept responsibility, and hold themselves accountable for taking action.”

Interested in learning more? Be sure to download the complete research report here. You can also join Fowler for a free webinar on June 21—Taking a Top-Down, Bottom-Up Approach to Leadership.  The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more here.

“The research shows that the front line people are the ones who are essential to making your initiatives work—whether it’s implementing a change or a customer service program. You have to depend on those self leaders to make it happen.”

In Fowler’s experience, when L&D professionals equip individual contributors with the mindset and skillset of self leadership, they build a healthy and empowered workforce that is productive, innovative, and committed to getting results for their organizations.

In developing the learning design for the new Self Leadership training program from The Ken Blanchard Companies, Fowler begins by addressing mindset—Challenging Assumed Constraints, Activating Points of Power, and Being Proactive. This mindset is a real shift in perspective for most individual contributors who come into a training not understanding the benefits of self leadership.

Fowler explains that without the right mindset, individuals are less likely to embrace, learn, and apply the skills of Setting Goals, Diagnosis, and Matching (getting an appropriate leadership style), which are taught later in the program.

“Our Self Leadership program provides the skills individual contributors need to take the initiative and be responsible for their own success—for example, to proactively clarify goals and seek out the direction and support they need.”

Fowler is excited about the opportunities a renewed interest in self leadership offers to organizations—and she is appreciative of new research that helps make the business case for investing in self leadership training.

“When we first offered our self leadership program back in the early 1990s, we knew it worked from the results our clients were achieving, anecdotal data, and our own impact studies. What didn’t exist back then was outside empirical research that made the case for investing in individual contributor training.

“Over the last 15 years, there’s been a relative explosion of academic research that confirms our experience. Current research validates our approach to self leadership, which includes proactive problem solving, asking for feedback, selling your solutions, and negotiating for authority.

Blanchard’s own research into Employee Work Passion informs other aspects of the program.

“Teaching self leaders to activate their own points of power is important in helping them understand that they shouldn’t depend on someone else’s power to get the job done. In every case, the program teaches participants to challenge assumed constraints and take positive action.

“Performance in organizations is often stalled because employees don’t know how to ask for what they need when they need it. Our Self Leadership program teaches individuals the mindset and skillset to proactively take the reins, achieve their goals, and accelerate their own development.”

PS:  Interested in learning more about the Blanchard approach to creating a culture of self leaders?  Join Fowler for a free webinar on May 31–Creating a Culture of Self Leadership. It’s complimentary, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Freiberg shares how organizations need to find their cause if they are going to stand out in a crowded field.

Part of the process, according to Freiberg, is having employees reclaim their dreams–moving beyond just having a job to find something bigger and more fulfilling. And once becoming reacquainted with what’s engaging, she shares how to take a dream and turn it into action. The key, says Freiberg, is to find your personal WHY, in addition to your HOW and WHAT.

Freiberg shares how leadership development experts can help reignite this type of larger thinking using a three step process that includes: Identifying Your Why, Becoming Intentional, and then finally, Measuring Impact.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his key takeaways on the information Freiberg shares.

Listen to the podcast here: 

To illustrate his point, Blanchard shares a story about Horst Schulze, cofounder of Ritz-Carlton Hotels. During Schulze’s reign, after orientation and extensive training, every employee was given a $2,000 discretionary fund they could use to solve a customer problem without checking with anyone. They didn’t even have to tell their boss. As Blanchard explains, “Horst loved to collect stories about how people honored this trust by making a difference for customers.”

One story in particular that stood out for Blanchard was about a businessman staying at a Ritz-Carlton property in Atlanta during the middle of an extended business trip. After one night in Atlanta, the executive was flying out the next morning to deliver a major speech in Hawaii.

“The businessman was a little disorganized as he was leaving the hotel. On his way to the airport he discovered he’d left behind his laptop, which contained all the graphics he needed for his presentation. He tried to change his flights but couldn’t. He called the Ritz-Carlton and said, ‘This is the room I was in, and this is where my computer was. Have housekeeping get it and overnight it to me. They have to guarantee delivery by ten o’clock tomorrow morning, because I need it for my one o’clock speech.’

“The next day Schulze was wandering around the hotel as he often did. When he got to housekeeping he said, ‘Where’s Mary?’ Her coworkers said, ‘She’s in Hawaii.’ Horst said, ‘Hawaii? What’s she doing in Hawaii?’

“He was told, ‘A guest left a computer in his room and he needs it for a speech today at one o’clock — and Mary doesn’t trust overnight carrier services anymore.’ Now you might think that Mary went for a vacation, but she came back on the next plane. And what do you think was waiting for her? A letter of commendation from Schulze and high-fives around the hotel.”

That, says Blanchard, is what a trusting environment is all about.

What are the nonverbals in your organization?  Do people feel safe enough to turn their backs on their manager—or are they worried the manager will find fault with the work they’re doing or punish them if something goes wrong?

You can read more about Ken Blanchard’s thinking in the March issue of Chief Learning Officer.  Also check out this video of Ken Blanchard sharing more on the points he talks about.

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBkNVsim-UM&t=14s

A client’s belief system and cultural perspective greatly impacts how they not only interact with their coach but also achieve goals. As a result, I have personally expanded my perspective, identified potential biases, and adjusted my coaching style to incorporate a range of cultural dimensions.

Here are four key points to keep in mind when coaching across cultures.

1. Definition of coaching. Many clients believe coaching is the same as consulting or mentoring—but there are distinct differences. It is important to begin with a clear mutual understanding of what coaching is and what the client can expect from the partnership.

2. Country orientation. Recognize that the tendency for a client to think, feel, and act certain ways is innate and based on their cultural background. This includes communication, perception of self and others in roles, problem solving, and control.

3. Hierarchical vs. egalitarian culture. Clients with hierarchical views may see themselves as subordinate to higher level leaders and therefore believe communication comes from the top and is not to be challenged. Clients with egalitarian perceptions view employees and leaders as equals and are more likely to freely state their opinions and challenge top leaders.

4. Language. When coaching in a language other than the client’s local language, it is important to be aware of subtleties that can cause misunderstanding. Adjusting the pace of speaking to allow a client to translate and understand will increase the effectiveness of the coaching.

As the coaching profession continues its expansion worldwide, it is more and more imperative for coaches to incorporate intercultural dimensions into their practice to be effective with clients.

Coaches can increase a successful coaching experience by recognizing their existing cultural biases and belief systems and adapting based on the situation. For example, if a client is inclined to value indirect language and harmony in their workplace, the role of the coach is to support the client in identifying when to adapt and lean toward a different, more direct style while maintaining authenticity. It is about not only embracing cultural diversity but also leveraging it.

Coaches and managers: how are you embracing and leveraging diversity?

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This post is by Paul Murphy, Director of Channel Sales, Asia-Pacific.

It is commonly assumed that leadership behaviors are driven by the cultural norms of a given country or region. But research shows that organizational culture is actually a much stronger driver of leadership behaviors than is country or regional culture.

For example, an employee at a large US multinational in China is far more likely to use the behavioral norms of that organization than those of her home country. Similarly, an English manager working for a local Japanese firm is much more likely to embrace the behaviors of that firm than those of his home country.

What does differ dramatically inside multicultural organizations is the way people communicate. A US manager wanting to take a directive approach with an employee will likely use very clear and concise language, whereas a Chinese manager in the same location may use a more subtle and circular message to direct an employee. Both managers are being directive, but their communication styles are very different.

It is easy to confuse leadership style with communication style. In Situational Leadership® II, we learn that leaders must apply differing degrees of directive or supportive behavior depending on the development level of the direct report.  The challenge is not to look at which style of leadership (directive vs. supportive) is most appropriate in a certain culture, but to take a closer look at how we communicate that style with each other.

Here are a few things to remember:

• All cultures have both supportive and directive leadership. However, the way these styles are perceived may differ. Just because an employee perceives that their manager isn’t being clear doesn’t mean the manager isn’t being directive.
• Pay attention to leadership style and communication style. It is possible to act in a supportive manner while communicating in a way that may be perceived as directive.
• Position your organizational culture as the key driver of behaviors. Make allowances for communication styles, but still identify desired directive and supportive behaviors for leaders.

Leaders from any background, though they inevitably have a preferred leadership style, should be able to learn to flex their style with a bit of training. However, their communication style may still be misunderstood by colleagues from different backgrounds if their communication styles are misaligned.

Use these tips to keep your focus on communicating the right leadership style appropriately!

About the Author

Paul Murphy is the Director of Channel Sales, Asia-Pacific, responsible for all aspects of the indirect channel business within APAC for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Paul is based in Hong Kong and can be reached at paul.murphy@kenblanchard.com

Pew Research even has a quiz called “How millennial are you?” that shows where you fit on the scale and how you compare with others in your generation. I’m not entirely sure how scientific this is, but I scored a whopping 99 out of 100.

The definition  of a millennial varies depending on where you get your facts and figures—but the consensus seems to be that it’s a person born between 1980 and the mid-1990s. I particularly like Fortune’s definition: “those aged between 18 and 34 in 2015.”

Dan Schawbel has collated a list of some facts about millennials, if you want to do further research about this generation. Some of the facts are shocking, including their collective $1 trillion in student debts; or that only 6 out of 10 millennials have jobs—and half of those jobs are part-time. The article is a couple of years old now but it’s a good starting point for an overview.

It doesn’t take a scientist to identify that the stereotypical attributes of a millennial I outlined above could easily be interpreted to be negative traits; but millennials are getting fed up of getting a bad rap. A quick search online of the word millennial brings up a plethora of articles and blogs about how the negative view many people have of millennials is probably not deserved.

As workplaces move into the future, they’re going to need to start looking at millennials a little differently. This generation currently makes up one-third of the world’s workforce and by 2025, they will account for 75%. If business leaders continue to look at millennials with the aforementioned negative slant, they won’t be able to utilise this growing workforce to the best of their ability.

The growing proportion of millennials in business actually isn’t bad news at all. They’re set to be the most educated generation in history. Growing up in a world filled with negativity and recession has made them resilient, adaptable, and innovative when put in the right environment. They’re more determined than previous generations to prove themselves worthy in the job market because they’ve grown up without knowing job security. And, as the first generation that doesn’t remember what life was like before smart phones and the internet, they’re an excellent resource when it comes to understanding and harnessing the power of technology.

To get the best from the millennial generation it’s important to be able to understand them fully. Business leaders will need to adapt their ways of working to harness the millennial contribution.

Millennials are notable for their unwavering commitment to friends, family, and hobbies—even at the expense of face time at work. Research conducted by Bentley University found that 75% of millennials see themselves as authentic and are not willing to compromise their family and personal values. Companies on the “100 Best Workplaces for Millennials” list are more likely to offer flexible scheduling (76% vs. 63% for other companies), telecommuting options (82% vs. 74%), paid sabbaticals (15% vs. 11%) and paid volunteer days (46% vs. 39%.) More winning millennial-friendly companies offer perks like massages (65% vs. 26%) and fitness classes (70% vs. 24%) to their workforce. You would need to be living in a bubble to have missed the reports on Google’s employee perks or Virgin’s unlimited holiday policy.

The more you dig into the research behind the millennial generation, the more it seems that what they’re looking for is fairness, flexibility, and tolerance. They’ve grown up knowing insecurity. As a result, they’re inclined to work harder and they expect to be rewarded and recognised for their achievements. They are happy to look for work elsewhere if their workplace doesn’t provide a work-life balance that allows them to prioritise things that are important to them—which is not, necessarily, their work.

Millennials are a highly skilled, highly informed workforce with a lot of potential—so being an employer that stands out to them is important. If your organization can offer them:

• a focus on the shorter term (to attract and retain those pesky job-hoppers);
• compensation that is based on their own performance and assurance that the only bar to their success is their own ability;
• greater flexibility for an optimal work-life balance; and
• access to an abundance of growth and learning opportunities…

…you’ll send out a positive, inviting message. And you will harness the power and potential of this intelligent, productive generation as they become a larger and larger share of your workforce.

Jon discusses how leaders can combat negativity at work through vision, purpose, and optimism. He explains how positive organizations outperform negative ones—and he shares intentional practices for increasing the levels of communication and connection on teams. You’ll learn how a combination of vulnerability, informal relationships, and connecting creates the glue that holds a high performing team together.

Jon describes how an attitude of positivity helps leaders define moments of heroism, hardship, and highlights to “get people on the bus” and heading in the same direction.  He shares a strategy—Love-Serve-Care—that converts talent to greatness and creates inspiring leaders.

Relationships are foundational. Jon talks about how anyone can become a “come with me” leader by investing in others and helping them grow.  He also describes how we can all find time to build relationships in our busy and stressful lives.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his thoughts and personal takeaways on Jon’s ideas. You’ll see how, when you take the time to serve others and help them grow, your efforts come back to help you grow as well!

Listen to the podcast here:

Every interaction we have with a service provider leaves us with some sort of emotional response, from neutral and bland to deep anger and frustration at one extreme, joy and delight at the other.

We’ve all felt the stress associated with a provider whose customer experience is unresponsive and sometimes downright antagonistic—and the health effects of stress are well documented.

So are you killing your customers with stress and hostility? What are some straightforward steps you can take to nurture their long-term well-being? And why should you care?

Much has been written on the profit impact of customer service. Ken Blanchard sometimes describes profit as “the applause you get for delivering Legendary Service to your customers.” But there is a more simple, subtle, and powerful aspect to customer care. Customers will naturally move toward experiences that meet their needs and align with their values (see Susan Fowler’s book Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work—and What Does for more on this). Consistently creating these experiences—and building a reputation for service so good that it’s legendary—is just a matter of a little CARE:

Culture of Service

Your customers and their needs should be at the heart of your organisation’s values, rituals, stories, and celebrations. Ensure that your people are focused on customer well-being first and foremost and eliminate processes that don’t serve your customers. Celebrate and reward behavior that is service oriented and redirect any behaviour that detracts from it.

Attentiveness

Listen to your customers. Take the time and interest to really get to know them, what they need, how they prefer to communicate, and so on. But more than this—you can help build their competence by asking yourself What do I know that would be valuable if I shared it? And remember that in order to be able to serve your customers, you must be in good physical and mental shape—your customers are depending on it!

Responsiveness

Once you understand your customers’ needs, you need to respond to them in a way that demonstrates a consistent, genuine interest in serving them. This is best demonstrated when a situation arises that has the potential to disappoint the customer—if you keep a positive attitude, you will have a better chance of resolving the issue. When necessary, apologise sincerely for the problem. Remember, from the customer’s perspective you are the company. Listen to their concerns and work with them to develop a resolution strategy. Most customers will return if a challenge can be addressed promptly.

Empowerment

If you are in a service delivery role—and nearly everyone is—you probably have more control over the customer service experience than you realise! Blanchard’s EDGE assessment instrument, which compares individuals’ perceptions of their level of empowerment with the perceptions of their supervisor, routinely reports that people could be taking far more initiative and ownership than they do currently. Stay true to your organisation’s vision, mission, and values, and you can do a lot to build customer loyalty by delighting your customers just a little more with each interaction.

In their book Legendary Service: The Key is to CARE, coauthors Ken Blanchard, Kathy Cuff, and Vicki Halsey write, “Legendary Service means consistently delivering ideal service that keeps customers coming back and results in a competitive edge for your organization.” We experience amazing turnarounds when we help clients implement these practices in their companies.

Try it yourself—add a little more CARE for your customers today and see the difference it can make!

About the Author

Ian Beeson is the managing director of Blanchard International, Australia. He can be reached at ian.beeson@blanchardinternational.com.au

Consider this story shared by a woman in a workshop I was teaching on motivation.

While taking her normal elevator ride up to her office she found herself alone with the CEO of her company, whom she had never met. As she explained, “My heart raced. Should I introduce myself? When will I ever have another chance like this? But what if I make a bad impression?”

By the time the woman could gather her thoughts and decide what to do, the elevator stopped, the CEO stepped out, and the moment was lost. As she rode up the final few floors she was flooded with emotion.

“I was shaking. I was sad—disappointed—mad—frustrated—angry. I couldn’t believe how one person entering the elevator and not saying a word could generate so much negative emotion in me.” The woman said it had been a horrible way to start the day.

What caused all of the mental anguish? Real and perceived power. Without the woman’s perception of the CEO’s power, the dynamic in the elevator would have been far less tense for the woman. Research bears this out.

Dr. Drea Zigarmi, Dr. Taylor Peyton Roberts, and I recently completed research on how a leader’s power affects people’s motivation. We found that leaders at all levels need to be mindful and clear about the types of power they have and use. Our findings showed that the use—or the perceived use—of leader power usually results in people experiencing suboptimal motivation. Let’s take a closer look.

In 1959, social psychologists John R. P. French and Bertram Raven described five bases of power that are typically in play in the workplace.

• Reward power: A leader’s power to promise monetary or nonmonetary compensation or incentives.
• Coercive power: A leader’s power to use threats and punishment.
• Referent power: A leader’s power that causes followers to want to identify with, be associated with, or to believe in the leader.
• Legitimate power: A leader’s power of position or title that gives the leader the right to request compliance from another individual.
• Expert power: A leader’s power that comes through depth and breadth of knowledge.

Why are perceptions of power so important to understand? Because of their impact on motivation. A leader’s use of power can undermine people’s need for autonomy, relatedness, and competence (ARC)—the three psychological needs required for people to thrive, produce, and sustain high performance. Because people can potentially perceive their leader as having power over them in any of these five areas, you could be undermining people’s motivation and not realize it.

Here are insights on how to use your five bases of power more wisely:

• There are two types of reward power—impersonal and personal. Consider how you are using impersonal reward power to grant special benefits, promotions, or favorable considerations. Think about how you might be using personal reward power to influence employees’ feelings of being accepted, valued, and liked by you. Misuse of either leads to suboptimal motivation.
• Understandably, the use of coercive power usually results in a negative relationship—and suboptimal motivation in those you lead. Coercive power creates a workplace where people waste emotional energy to avoid suboptimal motivation.
• If referent power becomes too important, it can result in people who are afraid to disagree with you. It might surprise you to discover that when employees report managers exhibiting referent power, they also report experiencing suboptimal motivation because of their dependence on that leader for their internal state of well-being.
• Even legitimate power—often referred to as position power—can be misused when it is perceived as “Do this because I tell you to.”
• Finally, while expert power won’t necessarily result in people’s optimal motivation, withholding it can put them into suboptimal motivation.

As my colleague Dr. Drea Zigarmi so aptly puts it: “Power is very precious stuff. It entices the leader into flights of self-delusion and separateness from those they lead.”

Over 125 years ago, Lord Acton wrote the famous line, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” and the less famous line, “The sole advantage of power is the ability to do more good.” Based on our research, we might follow with this advice: Let go of your dependence on power to get work done. Instead, consider your power as an opportunity to do more good by developing ARC-supportive skills to understand, appreciate, and respond to people’s psychological needs. You will create a workplace where people are optimally motivated to achieve results and have the energy, vitality, and well-being needed to sustain those results. Powerful!

About the Author

Susan Fowler is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies, co-creator of the company’s Optimal Motivation and Situational Self Leadership training programs, and the author of the bestselling book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does: The New Science of Leading, Engaging, and Energizing.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a fairly experienced senior manager at an organization that was acquired about eighteen months ago. The larger organization makes a new acquisition about every eight months, with no end in sight. The changes are really hard to keep up with. There seem to be new processes and procedures every day.

I have a wonderful employee—I’ll call him Bob. I like Bob a lot and he has been a dependable producer. His team respects him and he consistently gets the job done with a minimum of fuss.

Recently, though, it’s as if Bob has run out of steam. When I asked him about it, he told me the pace of change here is wearing him down and he is beginning to think he might be happier at a more stable organization.

I am afraid to lose him, but how can I talk him off the ledge when I am kind of feeling the same way?

Trying to Keep Up

Dear Trying to Keep Up,

My first reaction was to laugh and think Good luck finding an organization where change isn’t constant! But seriously, I really understand this. The pace of relentless change can be exhausting.

It is said that many employees leave organizations because no one asked them to stay—so let’s not let that happen.  The first step is to share with Bob how much you understand his feelings and how important you think he is to the success of the organization. Then have the conversation about what it would take for him to stay.

If he insists that the organization would have to stop growing by acquisition—well, that’s probably non-negotiable.  But what is negotiable? Possibly Bob is burnt out and needs to take a vacation—a real one—meaning at least two weeks, maybe even three, with no checking in. Burnout is a real thing. A change of scene and perspective can do wonders.

Maybe the way you manage change could use a tweak. We know from recent neuroscience studies that the brain craves clarity and certainty. There is a ton of research, some of it from The Ken Blanchard Companies, about how to better support people who are dealing with change. Perhaps the two of you could take a class together to get better at it—or at the very least, you could read up and discuss it together.

Here’s the thing. Even if Bob does go somewhere else, he’s probably not going to be able to escape constant change—it is simply a fact of organizational life these days. He seems like a bright guy, so maybe the rate of change isn’t what is really bothering him. You may need to have a different conversation to really get at what the true problem is.

Start by asking the simple question “What’s really bothering you?”

And then keep digging: “What bothers you so much about that?”

“Say more about that.”

You never know what you’ll learn by following this line of questioning, but give it a try. You may actually get to what is really going on—and then you can work out how to proceed.

I hope you figure this out—and I hope you get to keep Bob so that he can help with all the changes to come.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

It’s a phenomenon that is quite common in many organizations—one that business author Barry Oshry describes as the “Dance of the Blind Reflex” in his book Seeing Systems: Unlocking the Mysteries of Organizational Life.

Oshry’s contention is that leaders and direct reports can become locked into a dysfunctional, self-sustaining cycle when each group has behavior patterns that are the result of unconscious behaviors in the other group. For example, leaders complain about the burdens of extensive responsibility but cling to that power for fear that a planned system or change initiative will fail. And frontline workers complain about non-involvement, oppression, and lack of responsibility while they cling to the same things.

Might this dysfunctional dance be occurring in your organization? Here are some of the telltale signs.

At the senior leader level:

Leaders worry about losing control during change—that their team won’t feel as responsible, skilled, or passionate as the leader does. As the leader’s fears and responsibilities increase, they worry about letting their people down and compensate by taking even more responsibility away from direct reports. Signs leaders must watch for in themselves include:

• Checking up, not checking in, on team members
• Frustration in thinking that the team doesn’t care

As a result, these leaders lie awake at night thinking about what they still have to accomplish on a never ending to-do list.

At the frontline level:

The perceived lack of trust, respect, sensitivity, and insight from their leader frustrates team members and they yield responsibility quickly. They feel they have no role in the change and have lost their autonomy and their value. When this occurs, they begin to withdraw, self-preservation kicks in, and they simply keep their heads down and do what leaders say. Typical behaviors include:

• Increased scrutiny on what leaders are doing and not doing
• Anger and resentment at having things done to them—instead of with them

If these underlying beliefs are not surfaced and acknowledged, organizational culture can remain stuck in this cycle. But it doesn’t have to go that way. Here are some strategies to help interrupt this dance.

1. When a one-on-one relationship feels inequitable, each person needs to notice their language and thoughts as they converse and ask themselves: What is my intent and how might my words be misinterpreted?
2. Leaders need to think about how they are dragging the responsibility upward rather than across their team.
3. Direct reports need to think about how to repackage their message so that the leader recognizes their honorable intentions and willingness to accept responsibility.
4. Finally, both sides need to understand that these behaviors are often subtle and hard to self-diagnose and consider enlisting a qualified coach to help identify patterns and develop an action plan.

Note to coaches: Remember—you are not immune to the Dance of the Blind Reflex and can actually become an unwitting dance partner. Are you working harder in your sessions than your client is? Are you taking on their burdens? If so, you may want to consider changing the record and dancing to a different tune.

About the Author

Judith Donin is a Senior Consulting Partner and Professional Services Mentor for North America with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Judith’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior director at a big pharma company. Our company has grown quickly through mergers and acquisitions—four in the last four years, in fact. I’ve noticed a big problem with what seems to be an “us and them” culture. Even some of my peers forget that we are all one company now. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about values and strategy, and people seem to be on board with it. It’s the little stuff that concerns me. 

For example, some of my colleagues still come to work wearing shirts that have their old company logo on them. They’ve been given new gear, but still think it’s okay to wear the old stuff. I’ve also noticed that there is a lot of “we/you” language: “We’ve always done it this way.” “We’ve been successful, and you need to think about…” It’s very frustrating. What can I do to convince my peers that these small, subtle things actually have a big impact? 

—Trying to Shift Things

Dear Trying to Shift Things,

You are frustrated by something that is nothing more or less than fundamental human nature. We are essentially tribal. We automatically create “in-groups” made up of the people we see as most like us—and we prefer them to anyone else. This is a well known phenomenon; there are reams of research proving it. The minute you have teams made up of the shirts vs. skins, team members will fight on behalf of their own. It made me laugh that in your situation you are literally dealing with shirts! So classic.

You are clearly a senior person on the acquiring side, so you have an expectation that the conquered nations will bow to the triumphant one. But it doesn’t work that way. Essentially, you are asking people to shift loyalties, which can certainly happen—but it does take time.

What you are dealing with here is affecting culture change. There about a million books and blogs available to you on this topic, so I am not going to try to be an expert on it here. But I do have one approach that can get things moving in the right direction.

Put the problem, as you see it, to your group. Ask for their perspective on it. As a group, agree on one or two behavioral changes that support a feeling that you all are pulling for the same team. Get the conversation going and have them talk to their own people about the impact of the subtle things. You cannot convince anyone, but you can arrange for dialogue with your peers.

And get help! Since you are big pharma, I am almost certain that you have at your disposal an HR partner who lives and breathes this kind of problem and would be delighted to work with you to solve it. This is so much bigger than something you can accomplish by yourself—but you certainly can be a champion for change.

Good luck,

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’ – Peter Drucker

We regularly review our corporate, regional and departmental strategies, but how many of us also take this time to review our culture and it’s alignment with strategy?
Perhaps it’s because the perceived ‘emotional’ side of culture seems at odds with the more ‘rational’ side of strategic planning.
Culture impacts the way employees react and behave to any change in strategy, so ignore it at your peril!
What is Culture?
According to Segal-Horn and Faulkner, in their book Understanding Global Strategy, culture includes:
‘knowledge, values, preferences, habits, customs, practices and behaviour’
Which…
‘have the power to shape attitudes and behaviour’ within organisations.
Culture can be created, written down and driven formally by an organisation; the values may be developed collaboratively with employees, communicated by HR or the leadership team and ‘lived’ daily within the workplace.
However, there are also assumptions made by employees and ways of working that have developed over time. How many times do we hear it’s the way we work around here…?!

Working with Culture to Facilitate Change
Creating a Forcefield analysis is an ideal way to ‘view the forces at work in an organisation that act to prevent or facilitate change’ (Johnson, G et al, Exploring Strategy).

This kind of analysis requires us to ask ourselves tough questions on what can block (resisting forces) or aid (pushing forces) change when creating a strategy.
Culture can be a fundamental catalyst for change and can be used as a vision for what change would look like once the strategy is implemented. However, it can also be a barrier.
A forcefield analysis can shine a light on the potential for resistence to a change in strategy. This in turn can lead to initiatives that are introduced in-line with the new strategy to:

• Build trust
• Break down any negative power structures within the organisation
• Address information concerns and ‘fears’
• Improve and increase lines of communication between management and employees

Barriers to strategic success must not be ignored and culture is a crucial factor that can make or break new policies.
I think of the aspects of culture like waves in the sea – work against it and you will struggle, take it into account and you can use them to your strategic advantage.

“Collaboration is often hardest within polite groups of people because they don’t tend to express differences openly,” explains Parisi-Carew. “True collaboration is built on the appreciation of diverse opinions. In many departments or project groups, the standard behavior is to shy away from conflict or debate. People are afraid to speak their truth.”

Parisi-Carew, a coauthor with Ken Blanchard and Jane Ripley of the new book, Collaboration Begins with You, (on sale October 12) explains that one key to creating a collaborative environment is a department or project leader who models what constructive disagreement looks like. For leaders interested in taking some first steps toward improving collaboration in their organizations, here are seven suggestions—drawn from the book—for promoting healthy debate in your organization.

Seven Ways to Encourage Healthy Debate

1. Promote the idea that disagreement is constructive.
2. Encourage respectful debate around issues; support differing viewpoints.
3. Take a facilitator role if difficulties arise; seek to understand concerns behind each stated position.
4. Get training and train others in giving/receiving feedback and in conflict resolution.
5. Ask questions and praise candid answers.
6. See feedback as a gift, without judgment or defensiveness. Give constructive feedback and be open to feedback from others.
7. Show your colleagues what values look like as behaviors. Speak up in meetings. Encourage others to speak freely without fear of judgment. Welcome all ideas and consider them before decisions are made.

“As a leader, you have a large sphere of influence,” says Parisi-Carew. “That means not only modeling desired behaviors but also providing the environment, structure, strategies, and practices that support collaboration.”

Dear Madeleine,

I run the Americas finance for a large global company. I am very good at my job and people give great feedback about working for me. Their only real complaint – and mine – is that the workload is crushing. We all work absurd hours and when we need to prepare for big board meetings, it’s all-nighters and weekends.

I have lost two managers in the last six months—which, of course, adds greatly to the problem—and haven’t even had time to hire replacements.

I recently went to my boss to talk about hiring requirements and he said, in essence, “We’re doing so well without those folks, why replace them?” I nearly blew my top – but of course that isn’t going to help me. What will?  –Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

I assume your boss is the CFO or some other kind of numbers guy. Tales of woe about how hard you and your people are working are not going to be effective. Speak to a numbers person with numbers—it’s the only language that will be heard. Create a spreadsheet showing how much time all of the tasks need and what it takes for your skeleton crew to deliver. You need to show, in concrete terms, the toll this situation is taking and how hiring one or two folks will add value in the long term. One theme you might bring up is the consequences the department will face if a team member is out with the flu, what effect the holidays will have on work getting done, etc. Take the emotion out of it. Tell the story with facts and numbers, and you are much more likely to get what you need.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am at my wits’ end. I worked hard in college and graduate school and have what some people might call a “Type A” personality. I take on a lot, I work really hard and I complete my work by the agreed-upon deadline.

For the past few years I have been working for a huge organization with a great reputation—but I realized quickly it has a culture of non-accountability.

This didn’t bother me much until recently, when I was promoted to be a department head. I have inherited several folks who clearly have been getting away with less than standard performance for some time. I really do not have the option to clean house—I am going to have to make do. Help!  —Making Do

Dear Making Do,

This is definitely a tough one, but there is an opportunity here. If you play your cards right, you could earn yourself a reputation as a leader who can turn a department around.

The first thing to remember is this: horrified though you may be to have inherited a whole staff of people you didn’t choose, neither did your new staff choose you. Imagine what it must be like for them to have yet another new boss, someone they know nothing about, who is coming in to crack the whip. They will absolutely sense your disapproval and will respond by proving you justified in your negative assessment. No one wants to be judged a slacker—and even if you try to cover it up by being nice, people will think you believe you’re better than they are.

So first things first. Take a big deep breath and keep an open mind. Put aside the hearsay about this group’s previous performance and make it your business to get to know these people and find their best so you can leverage it. The most important thing you can do is learn each person’s strengths and interests and then figure out how you can make the best of the situation you are all in.

To understand your people and get them moving forward in a positive way, start by having everyone in the department take the VIA strengths assessment. It is free and easy to complete. Once everyone—including you—has completed the survey, ask each person to craft a self-introduction with personal stories that show up each of their top strengths. You can share one or two at each staff meeting. You might also be interested in having each person complete the StrengthsFinder 2.0 survey—but this one has a charge, so you would need to have the budget for it. Focus on what is best in each person and also what is already working well, and then you can tackle the other stuff.

The next step is for you to create an environment in which your people will get to know you, be inspired by you, and sign up to follow you. The best tool to do this is the Leadership Point of View (LPoV). You can find complete instructions on how to create your LPoV here. An LPoV is essentially a statement of your beliefs and values around leading others. It helps to paint the picture of the future where there is consistency between your values, your words, and your actions. It is ultimately a course on you that teaches people what you expect from yourself and from them. To create your LPoV, think about these things:

• What drives you as a leader?
• Who are the key people who have influenced you? They can be real people, like your Uncle Pat who was the first in the family to go to college, or they can be fictional. For example, I was deeply moved and inspired by the protagonist of To Kill a Mockingbird because he stood up for someone who was unfairly accused and was willing to put himself and his family in danger to do the right thing.
• What are the events in your life that shaped you and your attitudes?
• What do you believe about what a leader’s job is?
• What are your leadership values? Which value is most important to you?

Boss watching is a hobby of just about anyone who has a boss. People are always trying to figure out what their boss is really thinking and what their boss really wants. Most bosses keep people guessing. Make it easy for your people to understand you by being explicit about what they can expect from you and what you expect from them. You probably think these things are obvious, but they are not—and in the absence of clear expectations, people will make things up about you. In the worst case scenario, they will continually test you to see what they can get away with. So, if you want people to be on time, tell them. If you expect people to meet their deadlines or to come to you early in the process to explain what will keep them from meeting their deadlines, tell them.

A caveat about sharing your LPoV: you must give your people permission to call you out on it if they experience behavior that is not consistent with your LPoV.

Your people will certainly be interested in your LPoV, and may be surprised by it. Their knowing your LPoV will increase the chances that they will trust you, follow you, and give you their best. People want to do good work and make their bosses happy. The more clear and consistent you are up front, the more successful your connection will be with your people.

Your best option with this new group of folks is to hold yourself to a high standard of leadership. This shouldn’t be a stretch for you, since you are already a hard worker. You can win them over and be role model for higher standards all round. Instead of bemoaning your fate, rise to the occasion! Good luck.

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

An out of balance ego doesn’t feel dramatically different from one that is in balance, explain authors David Marcum and Steven Smith in their book, Egonomics—and that’s why it trips up so many leaders.

That’s because ego can take your strengths and subtly change them into “close counterfeits”—weaknesses that actually mimic those same strengths. When this happens, everything seems a little self-serving. Qualities that people appreciate about you, such as being able to come up with an alternative viewpoint, objectively comparing your point of view to someone else’s, brainstorming good ideas, or seeking and welcoming feedback—things that make you a good team member—begin to tilt slightly toward your own best interests.

In his best-selling business book How the Mighty Fall, Jim Collins explains how some of these subtleties can change the way teams operate once ego—which Collins expresses as hubris—sets in. The result is behavior that is defensive, self-promoting, comparative, and resistant to new ideas. See if you recognize any of these behaviors starting to creep into your team dynamics:

According to Collins, in teams on the way down:

1. People shield those in power from unpleasant facts, fearful of penalties and criticism for shining light on rough realities.
2. People assert strong opinions without providing data, evidence, or a solid argument.
3. Team leaders have a very low question-to-statement ratio, avoiding critical input or allowing sloppy reasoning and unsupported opinions.
4. Team members acquiesce to a decision but don’t unify to make the decision successful—or worse, they undermine it after it’s been put into place.
5. Team members seek as much credit as possible for themselves, yet do not enjoy the confidence and admiration of their peers.
6. Team members argue to look smart or to further their own interests rather than arguing to find the best answers to support the overall cause.
7. The team conducts “autopsies with blame,” seeking culprits rather than wisdom.
8. Team members fail to deliver exceptional results and blame other people or outside factors for setbacks, mistakes, and failures.

Has ego taken a foothold in your team meetings? Awareness is a good first step. To learn more about addressing ego on a personal and organizational level, be sure to read Egonomics and How the Mighty Fall. Both books are highly rated and will provide you and your team with insight and action steps for bringing egos back into balance.

Leadership is not something you do to people, it’s something you do with people. Letting people know what they can expect from you underscores the idea that leadership is a partnering process.

That’s one of the messages that Ken Blanchard highlights in his work with senior leaders.

Blanchard underscores the idea that leadership transparency is a key element of success in today’s organizations. That’s because transparency gives employees a chance to see the “person behind the position” in their organization.

This willingness on the part of leaders to share a little bit of themselves helps to build trust and confidence in a powerful way—and it encourages others to share information about themselves as well. The result is greater openness and stronger bonds throughout the organization.

3 Ways to Be More Open

For leaders looking to be more transparent with their people, Blanchard recommends three steps:

1. Identify your beliefs about leading and managing people. Who are the people that have influenced you in your life? Most people think about traditional and famous leaders first, but the reality is that parents, teachers, and other important people in our lives are the ones who have usually influenced our thinking the most. Given what you’ve learned from past leaders and your core values, what are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
2. Share your leadership point of view with others. How can you communicate what you believe and how it influences your behavior? When you share your leadership point of view with your direct reports, they will not only have the benefit of understanding where you’re coming from, but they’ll also understand what you expect from them and what they can expect from you.
3. Think through how you will set an example for your people. Your leadership point of view lets others know how you will set an example for the values and behaviors you are encouraging. We all know from personal experience that people learn from behaviors, not from words. Leaders must walk their talk. Developing a leadership point of view creates a clear path for you to follow. Now you need to walk it.

Openness and transparency are powerful signals that a leader can be trusted and followed with confidence.  How transparent have you been?  Do people know where you are coming from?  This three-step process—identifying your values, sharing them with others, and demonstrating them on a daily basis—is a great way to start!

I frequently ask participants in my workshops: “How many of you are getting too much praise?” I generally get a chuckle but rarely a raised hand. Yet time and time again, employees report that sincere, meaningful praise is a significant motivator to perform and engage at work.

A recent survey by TINYpulse asked over 200,000 employees across more than 500 organizations the question: “What motivates you to excel and go the extra mile at your organization?” The third highest response was “feeling encouraged and recognized.” Just in case you were wondering, number one was “camaraderie, peer motivation,” and number two was “intrinsic desire to do a good job.”

Research by Bersin and Associates found that employee engagement, productivity, and customer service are 14% better in organizations where regular recognition occurs. However, only 17% of the employees who participated in their study indicated that their organizational culture strongly supports recognition. Over 70% of the respondents indicated that they are only recognized once a year (a service award) or not at all. What a sad commentary on many work environments.

YES, praise and recognition are important to each of us and clearly impacts our engagement and performance. However, the recognition needs to be done in the right way. Here are six best practices for recognizing employees:

1. Recognize people for specific behavior and results. Service awards for just showing up do not impact engagement or performance in any meaningful way. Stay away from comments like “great job today” or “good work” and be more specific—what did a person do specifically and what was the impact.
2. Tailor the recognition to the individual. Know your people. Some of us (me included) love public praise. Others prefer it to be done in private. One person may want regular on-going praise during a project where another team member would find that annoying and only wants the praise at the end.
3. Give the recognition as close to the event as possible. Don’t save the praise for a meeting or performance review. Take the time to walk around and look for opportunities to catch employees doing something right and give the praise in the moment.
4. Encourage peers to recognize each other. Employees report that peer recognition is more impactful than recognition from a manager because a peer is closer to the work and it’s not their “job.” NOTE: Managers still need to give regular praise also.
5. Share success stories. Use team, department, or company meetings to highlight individual and team success. Share these on the organizational bulletin board or intranet.
6. Link recognition to your company values or goals. For example, at Blanchard, we nominate our peers for annual awards that link to our core values.

As the year comes to a close, I encourage you to take the time to send a note of gratitude and praise, to recognize a staff member, colleague, or even a boss for a specific behavior or accomplishment. Then let’s start the New Year with a renewed desire to catch people doing good things!

“Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.” ~ Sam Walton

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in productivity and performance management.

The result is suboptimal motivation, which characterizes three out of a possible six outlooks people can have when considering a task:

• Disinterested (suboptimal): I’m not interested–it feels like a waste of time.
• External (suboptimal): I’ll do it because of a promise for more money or an enhanced status or image in the eyes of others.
• Imposed (suboptimal): I’ll do it to avoid feelings of guilt, shame, or fear from not doing it.
• Aligned (optimal): I’ll do it because it allows me to connect the task to a significant value.
• Integrated (optimal): I’ll do it because it allows me to link to a life or work purpose.
• Inherent (optimal): I’ll do it because it is something I enjoy and think would be fun.

When managers promise more money, award prizes for contests, offer rewards, threaten punishment, apply pressure, or use guilt, shame, or emotional blackmail to encourage specific behaviors from employees, they may successfully initiate new behaviors and produce results—but they fail miserably in helping people maintain their progress or sustain those results. This is the motivational junk food approach that leads to the Disinterested, External, and Imposed suboptimal outlooks.

People with high-quality motivation, on the other hand, may accept external rewards when offered, but this is clearly not the reason for their efforts. The reasons the optimally motivated employees of the world do what they do are more profound and provide more satisfaction than external rewards can deliver.

Don’t Feed Your People Motivational Junk Food

When people experience high-quality motivation, they achieve above-standard results; demonstrate enhanced creativity, collaboration, and productivity; are more likely to repeat their peak performance; and enjoy greater physical and mental health.

Providing high-quality motivation like connecting a task to significant values and/or purpose may require more thought and preparation, but it generates the high-quality energy, vitality, and positive well-being that leads to sustainable results. If you want to create a work culture that thrives, wean yourself and your people off motivational junk food and offer them healthy alternatives.

To learn more about Fowler’s approach to motivation, be sure to read her complete article at Fast Company Online, Why the Way We Motivate People—and Ourselves—Matters.  Curious about your own motivational outlook and how it might be impacting your performance?  Check out Fowler’s free Motivational Outlook self-assessment.

In a new article for Harvard Business Review Online, What Maslow’s Hierarchy Won’t Tell You About Motivation, Blanchard author Susan Fowler suggests that despite the popularity of Maslow’s model it might be time to take a second look at the idea of a needs hierarchy.

In conducting research for her new book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does, Fowler found that instead of a hierarchy, contemporary science points to three universal psychological needs common to all people at all times:  autonomy, relatedness, and competence.  This research would suggest that leaders need to address these three psychological needs early and often instead of delaying them for a future time.  For example:

Autonomy is a person’s need to perceive that they have choices, that what they are doing is of their own volition, and that they are the source of their own actions.  Fowler explains that the way leaders frame information and situations either promotes the likelihood that a person will perceive autonomy or undermines it. To promote autonomy Fowler recommends that leaders:

• Frame goals and timelines as essential information to assure a person’s success, rather than as dictates or ways to hold people accountable.
• Refrain from incentivizing people through competitions and games.
• Don’t apply pressure to perform. Sustained peak performance is a result of people acting because they choose to — not because they feel they have to.

Relatedness is a person’s need to care about and be cared about by others, to feel connected to others without concerns about ulterior motives, and to feel that they are contributing to something greater than themselves. Fowler shares that leaders have a great opportunity to help people derive meaning from their work and deepen relatedness by:

• Validating the exploration of feelings in the workplace and being willing to ask people how they feel about an assigned project or goal and listening to their response.
• Taking time to facilitate the development of people’s values at work — and then helping them align those values with their goals.
• Connecting people’s work to a noble purpose.

Competence is a person’s need to feel effective at meeting every-day challenges and opportunities, demonstrating skill over time, and feeling a sense of growth and flourishing. Fowler shares that leaders can rekindle people’s desire to grow, learn, and develop competence by:

• Making resources available for learning. What message does it send about values for learning and developing competence when training budgets are the first casualty of economic cutbacks?
• Setting learning goals — not just the traditional results-oriented and outcome goals.
• At the end of each day, instead of asking, “What did you achieve today?” ask “What did you learn today? How did you grow today in ways that will help you and others tomorrow?”

The exciting message to leaders is that when the three basic psychological needs are satisfied in the workplace, people experience the day-to-day high-quality motivation that fuels employee work passion — and all the inherent benefits that come from actively engaged individuals at work.

To learn more about Fowler’s research, read her entire article at HBR.org.  Be sure to check out—and join the lively conversation—taking place with fellow leadership development peers!

But as Edmonds points out, “Culture is the engine—it drives everything that happens in an organization each day.”

In working with organizations for more than twenty-five years, Edmonds focuses on three key activities: Define, Align, and Refine. By focusing in these three areas, Edmonds has helped senior leaders clarify their organizational purpose, values, strategies, and goals, and along the way taught leaders throughout the entire organization how to build engaging, inspiring workplaces.

DEFINING YOUR PURPOSE, VALUES, STRATEGIES, AND GOALS

According to Edmonds, a strong culture begins with rules for citizenship, values, and teamwork. One tool that Edmonds recommends is the creation of an organizational constitution.

As Edmonds explains, “An organizational constitution outlines your team’s purpose, values, strategies, and goals. It paints a vivid picture of success, values, and behaviors. It maps out how to work from that picture each day. An organizational constitution gives employees’ jobs and roles meaning and clarity. Through their organizational constitution, leaders make expectations explicit and describe what a good job and a good citizen look like in specific, tangible, observable terms.” 

ALIGN LEADER BEHAVIORS FIRST

Once your organizational constitution is written and shared, leaders need to live by it, lead by it, and manage to it.

“In some ways you are formalizing rules about being nice,” says Edmonds. “And while people might laugh, this second step helps you get more intentional about the way you want people treating each other. And that is critically important when you are asking people to hold themselves to a higher standard. Anytime you change the rules, people are going to want to see if the leaders are living and embodying the values. As a leader you’re going to be put under great scrutiny. So the first thing is to take a look at yourself and what the values are that guide you. Get clear on what you are trying to do as a leader.” 

REFINE AND ADJUST AS NECESSARY

It’s also important to remember that culture is not a one-and-done type of initiative. Culture is constantly evolving based on the actions and experiences occurring throughout the organization on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. Without constant attention and tending, it is possible for even the best companies to lose some of the magic that made them special in the first place.

Edmonds points to Starbucks and its founder Howard Schultz as a case of a good company and a good CEO stepping in and taking proactive steps when they notice things slipping.

In 2008, when Howard Schultz stepped back into an active management role with Starbucks, a lot of customers—and certainly a lot of analysts—would have told you that the company had lost its way and needed to begin an immediate cost-cutting program to get the company back on track. But that wasn’t Schultz’s plan. Instead he decided to refocus on the company’s values and culture.

As Schultz explained in a Harvard Business Review article at the time, “I shut our stores for three and a half hours of retraining. People said, “How much is that going to cost?” I had shareholders calling me and saying, “Are you out of your mind?” I said, “I’m doing the right thing. We are retraining our people because we have forgotten what we stand for, and that is the pursuit of an unequivocal, absolute commitment to quality.”

Edmonds says that Schultz “stopped the Starbucks world” and did a reset, a return to the beliefs and values that made your local Starbucks a friendly, inviting place.

DON’T LEAVE CULTURE TO CHANCE 

Edmonds always finds it interesting when people look at companies like Starbucks (or Zappos) and think they were just started that way and it was a weird kind of lucky business. In Edmonds’ experience the best companies get really clear on the performance they want. And then they get really clear on the citizenship values and behaviors that they want—and they measure and monitor both extensively.

You can learn more about Edmonds approach to improving your company’s culture in the December issue of Blanchard’s Ignite newsletter.  Also be sure to check out a free webinar Edmonds is conducting on December 18, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

But I really don’t care if you’re happy at work. In fact, I think all the hype about happiness at work is a bit misguided. Now, before you blow up my Twitter feed with negative feedback or blast me in the comments section of this article, let me explain.

I’m all in favor of being happy. Personally, I much prefer happiness over sadness. If I have a choice, I’ll take happy every day of the week and twice on Sunday. When it comes to work, I’ll take happy there, too. I’d much rather work with happy people than mean people, and I know I’m more productive, creative, and a better teammate at work when I’m happy.

But here’s the deal…On the surface, all the talk about happiness sounds great. But If you aren’t careful and discerning about what you hear in the media and popular culture, you’d think that happiness of employees should be the primary goal of every leader and organization. I don’t buy it and here’s why:

1. Happiness is a fleeting emotion largely dependent on external circumstances – Defining happiness can easily lead to a battle of semantics, but a common, basic definition of “happy” is: delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing (e.g., to be happy to see a person). I’m happy when I come home from work and my kids have straightened up the house or loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. When it doesn’t happen (which is often), I’m not happy. Does that mean I love my kids any less? No. Is my life less fulfilled because I’m not happy? No. Happiness comes and goes, so it’s not something I want to build my life around. Happiness is too dependent on circumstances beyond my control for me to make it my goal. However, I can control how I respond to the circumstances of my life and I can choose to have a positive attitude. There are many times when work and life deal us a crummy hand. We have to work overtime, business travel takes us away from important family events, or we make a mistake and get reamed out by the boss; none of those things make us happy. But if we have the right attitude and perspective on work and life, we can put those situations in their proper place and learn and grow from the experience.

2. Happiness should be a pleasant outcome of good leadership and organizational culture, not the goal – My job as a leader is not to make you happy. If that was the case, then I’d serve ice cream every afternoon and cater to your every need. No, my job is to help you develop to your fullest potential while accomplishing the goals of our team and organization. If I’m smart, I will lead in a way that builds your commitment to the organization and fosters engagement in your work. I’ll also strive to create a culture that supports your health and well-being and makes your work enjoyable. Oh, and by the way, if you’re happy as a result, then great! Your happiness is not my goal, but you’re free to make it your own.

It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness. ~ Viktor Frankl

3. Happiness is negatively correlated with meaning – It didn’t take scientific research studies for Viktor Frankl to understand a fundamental truth: pursuing happiness as your primary goal is like a dog chasing its tail. Studies have shown that people who place more importance on being happy end up becoming more depressed and unhappy. Rather than happiness, we need to pursue meaning and purpose. Sadly, according to one study by the Centers for Disease Control, 40% of Americans either do not think their lives have a clear sense of purpose or are neutral about whether their lives have purpose.The same study also reported that nearly 25% of Americans feel neutral or do not have a strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful. Having purpose and meaning in life and at work increases overall well-being and satisfaction, improves mental and physical health, enhances resiliency and self-esteem, and decreases the chances of depression. As a leader, your efforts at helping employees understand and connect to the purpose and meaning of their work will reap more benefit than striving to make them happy.

4. Happiness is self-focused; true fulfillment in life (and work) comes from being others-focused – At its core, happiness is a pretty selfish motive when you think about it. Psychologists explain it as drive reduction. We have a need or drive, like hunger, and we seek to satisfy it. When we get what we want to meet the need, we’re happy. However, lasting success and fulfillment in life comes from what you give, not what you get. The greatest example of this is Jesus and his demonstration of servant leadership. This ancient truth is echoed in contemporary research by Adam Grant, the youngest tenured and highest rated professor at The Wharton School. In his book Give and Take, Grant identifies three ways people tend to operate in their relationships: as givers, takers, or matchers. Not surprisingly, although givers may get burned occasionally, they experience higher levels of fulfillment, well-being, and success in life compared to takers or matchers. I’ve experienced it in my own life and seen it in the lives of others. Those who chase happiness as their primary goal tend to be the most selfish and unhappy people I know. Those who give to others tend to be the most fulfilled, joyful, and happy people I’ve seen.

Happiness is a great thing. As I said, I much prefer it to the alternatives. But when happiness at work becomes such a primary focus that organizations start having CHO’s – Chief Happiness Officers – you know happiness has jumped the shark. Happiness at work is a byproduct of doing a good job in all the other fundamental areas of leadership, but it’s misguided to make it our ultimate aim.

Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts, opinions, or questions.

Randy Conley is the V.P. of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts normally appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

When people work together face to face, celebrating can be spontaneous. Without prompting, someone brings in snacks or puts up decorations to celebrate a holiday, group achievement, or personal triumph.

It may sting a little, though, when remote team members get copied on an email about a party they can’t attend or when they see photos of others celebrating.

For people who work virtually, times like these can cause underlying feelings of isolation and disengagement to resurface.

Just like in-person workgroups, virtual teams need the shared identity, community, and enthusiasm that come through celebrating together. Because virtual festivities tend to happen less frequently, virtual team members are often particularly appreciative of celebrations—no matter how simple. Each team has its own culture and humor, of course, so encourage your team members to discuss these ideas and choose how they would like to celebrate virtually. 

Create cards together to mail or email.

• As a team, create a card for your customers by using a standard clip art background together with cutouts of team member photos and holiday greetings.
• For the team itself, paste a holiday image on a shared whiteboard and ask each team member to sign it online. Include small photos of each team member in the image to make it personal.
• Seek out one of the fun online ecard sites like jibjab.com and create a customized card with photos of your team members as dancing elves. 

Send gift cards.

Virtual teams are often more diverse in their membership than face-to-face teams, so selecting one gift that will suit everyone may be a challenge. Instead, consider these options:

• Give people gift cards to a coffee shop or restaurant that you know has a location near each team member (web searching makes this easy). Make the amount large enough for two people to enjoy, and ask team members to share photos. Set the stage by being the first to share your photo as you wear your Santa hat and drink your peppermint latte with your daughter, for example.
• Give people gift cards to a chain store or online retailer and ask team members to share a photo or description of what they purchased. This is a fun way for everyone to gain insight into each other’s personalities, hobbies, and interests, and it promotes familiarity among team members.

Have a party.

• For a special treat, use a web platform that allows streaming from multiple webcams. Individuals calling from home can walk their camera around to show holiday decorations or introduce family members or pets.
• Ask individuals to come to the party prepared to share their favorite holiday recipe (with a photo) or to discuss holiday traditions that are meaningful for them.
• Have team members dress for the occasion! Consider holding a holiday sweater or funny hat contest with the team voting for the winner.
• During the party, ask team members to reflect on a team accomplishment or event that was particularly significant or to express appreciation for a fellow team member who provided great support during the year.
• Consider adding some simple team activities to help members get to know each other. Individuals could share their most unusual job, guess the hobbies of other team members, or look at photos of desks and identify what the desk reveals about its owner.

If your team is daring.

• Sign up the group for an online multi-player game to discover treasure or solve a problem together.
• Consider using one of the online karaoke sites to have the group sing together for group bonding. 

The research is clear: teams that demonstrate good humor and friendly relationships are more productive. Although it takes collaboration, creativity, and effort, your team members will appreciate the enthusiasm and community that comes with celebrating together.

Happy Holidays!

About the author

Carmela Sperlazza Southers is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in increasing organizational, team, and leader effectiveness in the virtual work world.

At work our team has been stuck trying to choose between spending money on one strategy and finding out more information about an alternative choice. It’s been on our meeting agenda for almost a month now and, really, it’s not that big a deal.

Ever been there? The more you think about the options, the more it seems like a tie. One is just as good as the other, but you can only pick one. So you pick nothing. You procrastinate. Well, not exactly—because after all, you are doing something: you’re thinking this over. Right?

This dilemma has been around for a while.

Fourteenth-century French philosopher Jean Buridan suggested that if you put an ass (the donkey type, not the human type) between two identical piles of hay, it would be unable to choose between the two and would die of hunger. This became known as the Paradox of Buridan’s Ass, whose picture you see above. (We can’t guarantee the authenticity of the photo.)

Even further back—in 350 B.C., to be exact—Aristotle proposed that a person who is equally thirsty and hungry and has to choose between food and drink might stay exactly at that position and starve to death.

More recently, the character Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof had trouble making decisions because of his annoying habit of always saying “…but on the other hand, this, and on the other hand, that …” Fiddler opened in New York in 1964.

You may notice that all these observations happened long before multi-tasking as we now know it, incoming cell phone calls, being buried in emails, etc. By the way—should you pay to drive in the car pool lane today, or stay right where you are?

So what’s a procrastinator to do? Here are three suggestions:

1. Just do something. Anything. Have you ever noticed that if you are trying to push a stalled car off the road, it’s very difficult to get it moving initially? But once it is moving, it’s relatively easier to keep it going. Physicists call this “static friction.” It’s harder to move things that are currently stationary than things that are already in motion. You might think of it as activation energy.
2. Don’t delay. There is a business theory that delay is better than error. Actually—no, it isn’t. First of all, the opportunity you’re putting off now will not be identical to what might be the case in the future. It will likely become more complex as you hold off taking action. Conditions change, and dilemmas usually intensify. Secondly, doing something provides you with some helpful information because you’ve got observed data. Call it a “pilot,” if you prefer. Keep in mind that very few decisions are absolutely final. During implementation, there will be opportunities for adjustment.
3. Pick a small first step and add that to your to-do list. Don’t write “Income tax.” Write “Get forms,” or perhaps “Gather expense receipts.” The smaller the line item, the more doable it will seem. And put a deadline on it.

Of course, having a goal is helpful. In fact, it’s downright essential. But it’s not enough. Progress is all about taking action. Goals without action are merely dreams. So if you’re serious about productivity and execution, you’ve got to get active. As Einstein said, “Nothing happens until something moves.”  Inactivity breeds discouragement. In real life Buridan’s ass acts and sounds a lot like Eeyore.

Finally, to close the loop after you’ve done something—even an eensy, teensy, stupid little something—celebrate. Even if your celebration is merely a private party in your brain that you hold for yourself. Take a breath, smile in satisfaction, and feel good. And then move on. Come on, we don’t have all day here.

About the author

Dr. Dick Ruhe is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.