Dear Madeleine,

I work for a midsized company. When our CTO retired I thought I would be in the running for the job, because I have been with the company the longest, have kept my skills current, and have lots of ideas that I regularly share with our CEO. Apparently I wasn’t even considered, and a new CTO has been hired without the job being posted.

I won’t lie—I absolutely resent that I wasn’t given at least a chance. But that’s not my issue. My issue is that the company has some serious problems.

We are paying for some legacy systems that nobody uses. No one really knows who initiated the contracts or why. It is costing us needlessly. Also, we have a couple of IT support people who literally smoke weed all day and play pass-the-buck with support tickets. We could be getting so much more out of this team and we could easily get by with fewer people.

Our CEO is clueless. He left it all up to the former CTO, who had one foot out the door for years. The waste and inefficiency drives me crazy.

How do I surface all of this to the new CTO without it seeming like sour grapes? I don’t want to rat people out, but I also feel like I’m the only one who puts in real work days—and that’s getting old.

Thoughts?

Watching the Train Wreck

____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Watching the Train Wreck,

This all sounds really frustrating. There is a whole potential conversation about what played into your being summarily passed over for a promotion, but you didn’t ask about that so I will leave it be.

I think there are ways to surface issues without calling anyone out. It is just hard for you to see it because you are so angry. I’m not saying you are wrong for being angry, you just can’t let it get in your way.

I suspect there might be a situation where you surface problems to your manager without sharing your ideas for how to fix them. I have heard many managers and leaders say “don’t bring me problems without ideas for how to solve them.”

There is no reason not to make a list of the legacy systems nobody uses and share them with the new CTO. If you shared this with your former CTO and nothing was ever done, either he didn’t care or he was getting a kickback. Either way, this situation is bad and needs fixing.

You could volunteer to chase down the contracts, see if the original time frame has expired, and potentially cancel—just be 100% sure that you are correct in your belief that nobody uses the system. You may not know who still depends on what, and historical data could be lost if you haven’t fully done your due diligence. Take on the project and get it done. Keep track of how much you are saving the company and make sure your new boss knows about it.

Regarding your slacker colleagues, you are 100% right that ratting anyone out is a bad idea. Nobody likes a rat. It’s just human nature. But there has to be a better way of managing support tickets so that the work is more evenly distributed and dodging is not an option. Without naming names, you could share that the current process is unreliable and allows for too much leeway for team members to play the system. Maybe come up with a few ideas for a process that might work, and volunteer to experiment to find one that is equitable. You must know of better systems—especially if you’ve stayed up to speed with changes in your field of expertise.

What your new CTO will experience is someone who is honest (without being judgy) and eager to initiate change for the better. Hopefully, your input will be well received.

If it turns out that the new CTO is as disengaged as the last one, your best bet may be to go work with people who care about efficiency and professionalism as much as you do. But give the new person a chance. You never know; it could be great.

No sour grapes. Just candor, ideas for solutions, and enthusiasm.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have a problem with lying. Yes. I am a liar.

But I’m not a compulsive liar by any means. What I mean is for a long while I’ve been thinking about little lies that most everyone I know so easily uses—and it bugs me a lot. I’ve analyzed how these “little white lies” suck energy out of the people who use them, meaning the actual liars.

Now I’ve developed a kind of comfort in telling little white lies. Then sometimes, a little bigger lie slips in out of fear of hurting a coworker or family member, or losing a client (new fees or increase in prices).

It is bothering me. What do you think? Should I just roll with it, or is it a problem?

Liar Liar

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Liar Liar,

First, can I say how much I appreciate your self-awareness and being willing to tell yourself the truth. That might be half the battle. I think a lot of people who lie are lying to themselves first.

It really is not for me to say. I am not the judge or jury, or in the position to take some kind of moral stance. I do want to point out the language you use: “I have a problem with lying,” and “it is bothering me.” Language is revealing. If you think you have a problem, you have a problem. If it is bugging you, it is bugging you.

Lying just becomes a habit for some people. The original reflex is rooted in the mistaken thought that lying makes life easier, smooths the way, keeps the peace. And that might be true, short term. There are some white lies that just grease the wheels of life. But if you lie once to your Aunt Mildred about loving her meatloaf, you can count on seeing that meatloaf for the rest of Aunt Mildred’s life. If I were your Aunt Mildred, I would much prefer to serve you something that actually gives you pleasure.

So in terms of your white lies, you need to think of the long-term consequences and how important it is that the people you care about trust that what you say is true.

Trust is the bigger issue. I had a dear lifelong friend who I realized early on was a compulsive liar. I just knew to never believe a word he said. So I loved him, but I didn’t trust him. I never depended on him for anything. In some ways, I could see how it served him: he designed his life so that he never had to think about anyone but himself. I get that. It is one way to go. But if your own lies are bugging you, it is probably not the right way for you.

You have to decide for yourself if it is important, in terms of your self-concept, that family, friends, and business partners really trust you. Do you want to be a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) person? It could mean a short-term hit, but may be better in the long run.

When my kids were little, I learned about the concept of under promise/ overdeliver in my coaching program. Essentially, it leads to situations in which you will never disappointment someone. My kids would wheedle me to promise stuff, and I would always say “Look, I can’t make that promise. I’ll do my best to ensure it will actually happen, but a lot of details are out of my hands. When I do make a promise, you can be sure I’ll keep it unless I am in the ER or dead.” I think it gave them a sense of security because they knew with certainty what they could and could not expect.

The other to thing to think about is your memory. I always thought I would never be a good spy because my memory is so weirdly selective and I am much more likely to remember the truth and lose track of my lies. So I just decided at a certain point in my life not to lie, because it was the only way I could be 100% certain that I would never be caught out and embarrassed.

There are ways to tell the truth that will minimize hurt feelings. You don’t have to say “I hate meatloaf,” you can just say, “I prefer your lemon chicken.” My husband is a genius—he figured out early on never to answer the “do I look fat in these pants” question. Some questions just have no winning answer. He came up with “those pants aren’t doing you any favors.”

In terms of clients, and pricing, you might want to think about always telling the truth but making special deals for long-term customers. Something along the lines of “We are raising the rates for all new customers but will be offering you your same rate for the next six months because you are such a great customer.”

From a coaching point of view, it is ultimately about choice and cost. Who do you choose to be? What do you want to be responsible for remembering? Do you want to go short-term easy or long-term trusted relationship? What does it cost you to lie? What would it cost you to tell the truth? Is the cost worth the payoff? Right now it seems like the cost may not be worth it to you because it is taking some kind of toll.

In the end, I am a fan of decisions that will decrease the noise in my head even if they inconvenience someone else. Take all of this into consideration and make some decisions.

I think you already know what you want to do.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work for a company that required everyone to come back to the office the second week of November. I thought it was too early, and was proven right by Omicron. The company is a traditional, conservative kind of place, and the CEO lost patience with the whole remote thing. I was happy to come back to the office because I was tired of not seeing people in person. We are a government contractor so we all had to comply with the federal vaccine mandate. I didn’t care—I was first in line to get my first vaccine, and then again when the booster became available. We all had to submit pictures of our vaccine cards.

I recently overheard a conversation I shouldn’t have heard, and now I have an ethical dilemma. I heard someone I know tell a friend that she got a fake vaccine card and hasn’t been vaccinated. They were laughing about it and ridiculing our HR department, which has worked really hard to manage our return to the office. (I only know because I have a friend in HR.) It makes me so mad that people think it is OK to play fast and loose with other people’s health and safety.

I am really torn about what to do. I haven’t said anything or tried to get advice from anyone I know. This is a company town where everyone knows everyone, and it could blow up in my face.

I am losing sleep over this. What do you think?

Blow the Whistle?

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Blow the Whistle,

Well, this is a bracing question! And such a perfect representation of these very weird times.

Let me start by clarifying that I am no expert on ethics. I read a regular column on ethics and am constantly learning and reminded of my lack of expertise. I am also forced to examine my own unconscious biases and how my politics might sway my response. (Note: Anyone who wants to see an incredibly cool compilation of unconscious biases, click here). Unfortunately, this issue has become so political and divisive that it is breaking up families. I might lose a little sleep myself over this one.

Because I tend to think in the context of organizations, my first thought was that if you are a manager, especially the person’s (shall we call her Vax Card Faker? VCF for short?) manager, you would be obligated to confront VCF and escalate to HR because managers are de facto agent of the organization and owe a duty of responsibility as such. But it doesn’t sound like this is the case in your letter. It sounds like VCF is a peer, not even a close co-worker.

Because this felt so far over my head, I consulted our CHRO, Kristin Brookins Costello, who has impeccable integrity and is brilliant. She said:

“Everyone in the workplace shares responsibility to keep each other safe. Companies can and should look at the cards to ensure that they appear to be valid. That being said, there is no incredibly effective way to ensure card validity beyond the eyeball test, and there can be no expectation that the company can or should confirm the validity of every card. In the end, this is where trust and corporate citizenship come into play. It’s a team effort to keep the workplace safe.” 

I also googled a little and stumbled over this very interesting article: How Can Employers Recognize Fake Vaccine Cards? It gave me the distinct impression that it is really up to the authorities in the organization to monitor authenticity of vaccination cards if they feel strongly about it. I know plenty of people who work in companies that are not at all committed to the enforcement of mandates. Of course, when people got their initial vaccine and were given a flimsy, hastily created card, who ever thought it would become a legal document?

Ultimately, though, I keep coming back to your description of the conversation as one that you “shouldn’t have overheard.” That leaves me to wonder if you could have made more of an effort to make your presence known. But then, I recall a moment long ago in a ladies’ room when I was in a stall minding my own business only to overhear participants in my training session (I was the facilitator) rake me over the coals. Once I realized what and who they were talking about, I couldn’t for the life of me think of any benefit to drawing attention to my presence. So I can understand how this can happen. Still, it was an accident that you overheard something potentially compromising.

Deciding to be a whistle blower is a huge, sometimes life-altering, decision. Most people who do blow a whistle on bad behavior wish they could do it anonymously. But it is almost impossible to avoid consequences of standing up for what you think is right. You must weigh the worst-case scenario of escalating what you heard. The last thing you want is a reputation for lurking around, listening to conversations you weren’t invited into, and then tattling. In my Googling, I found some research on what motivates people who report lying: Nobody likes a rat: On the willingness to report lies and the consequences thereof. Fascinating stuff, really, and far too involved to dissect here. But it does raise the questions about your motivation.

Even if you could report the violation anonymously in a way that would never blow back on you, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What would your intentions and motivations be to report what you heard? Is it your anger at someone who feels differently than you do about how our government is handling the pandemic? Is it your sense of protectiveness for your pal in HR?
• Does the part of you that feels morally superior (and let me be clear, I am not judging you on this) want to see VCF punished? Are you 100% certain that one unvaccinated person will truly put everyone at risk? (Lately, it seems to me that everyone in California is getting COVID regardless of vaccination status!)
• What consequence do you expect might be imposed on VCF? What if she were fired and that caused any number of hardships that you can’t anticipate? Would her family suffer? Would her team be left shorthanded in the middle of a talent shortage? Would that make you feel good?

Whatever opinion you might have about the approximately 38% of unvaccinated people in the US, it is really not up to you to impose your viewpoint on others. If your organization were to directly ask all employees to report on scofflaws, it might be one thing, but no one has appointed you to be a compliance officer.

I keep coming back to tried-and-true principles that have stood the test of time:

• Judge not lest ye be judged.
• Mind your own business.
• Keep your own counsel.
• Don’t gossip.
• Nobody likes a tattletale.

If you were to follow these principles, you might decide to confront the speaker you overheard. Tell her you accidentally heard what she said, that you are going to keep your mouth shut, but that you have concerns. Even as I write this, it seems like a terrible idea. Why would anyone want to step into that bear trap? But it is an option, and at least it’s direct. I ran your question by several people and a couple of them said this is what they would do.

You have followed the rules and have done what you think is best. VCF is not following rules she doesn’t agree with. But who is to say who is in the right? Certainly not me. I would submit that it is the 100% conviction of being right that is causing strife, not just in the US but all over the globe. And I think you actually know this, or you wouldn’t be so torn.

So, here we are. I can’t tell you what to do. I am not at all sure what I would do.

I know two things for sure:

1. It is a good idea to hum or whistle as you go about your merry way so that you never accidentally overhear anything you shouldn’t, ever again. After my horrifying experience in the bathroom, I always clear my throat or shuffle my feet when people might think they are alone.
2. Every little thing a person does gives you one data point about their character and trustworthiness. Now you know a lot more about VCF than you ever wanted to, and if you ever must work closely with her, well, you know what to watch out for. Remember it is just one data point. No one is all good or all bad. We are all just muddling along trying to figure it out as we go.

I hope this helps.

I hope this will all be over soon.

I hope no one around you, or you, God forbid, gets desperately ill.

I hope we can all give each other a little more grace.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

We all have those times when we feel out of focus or off track. When this happens to you, do you ever consider that it could be due to poor self-management practices? For example, perhaps you were so intent on achieving the next level of your career that you sacrificed your health and well-being. Or maybe you felt stuck in a relationship that you found suddenly unfulfilling.

During my 15 years of being a professional coach, I have witnessed many clients struggling with similar circumstances. One tool I have used successfully and also suggested to clients is a values identification process. It is a powerful tool that helps people facilitate wise choices, strategize action steps that move them forward, and recognize situations in which their values are being compromised.

A useful online resource is this values assessment from mindtools.com. This site provides a list of common values to choose from and challenging questions to help you identify personal values. Here is a simple method to complete the exercise:

• Review a list of 30 to 40 values that appeal to you.
• Choose 10 to 15 that resonate – values you currently honor.
• Review the 10 to 15 once again. Notice that some can be sub-categories of others.
• After close review, select 5 values that are most important to you from that group.
• Review those once again. Which ones do you not want to live without?
• Choose the top 3 values you feel are critical to who you are and what you stand for.
• Prioritize those 3 according to your personal preference.

If you need more help in clarifying your core values, answer these 4 questions:

1. What values must you have in your life to feel fulfilled?
2. What types of values keep showing up in your life?
3. What are the values that are core to the way you do your job, maintain your relationships, parent your children, and/or lead others?
4. What values challenge or stretch you the most?

One of the ways I help clients refocus and get back on track is to have them identify their top three values according to personal priority. We discuss the questions listed above and determine the values that need to be enhanced or maintained. Often, the reason a client feels out of sync or off track has to do with their unconsciously setting aside an important value. Some clients are in a work environment where they feel compromised because their values don’t match the company’s values.

In nearly every values discussion, the question of what is most important to the client emerges. At that point, it is helpful to identify action steps to realign the client with their top values. These might include setting personal boundaries, letting go of perfection, seeking a new job, or building new friendships.

Our values are a gauge that measures how close we are to our true selves. If we stray too far away, life can feel as though we are in constant conflict. Although it is worthwhile to identify personal values, it is critical to perform an occasional self-check. Are you living, working, and leading others in a manner that brings you fulfillment? Our values often change depending on our circumstances and life experiences.

Values identification is the foundation of self-management. It creates a level of self-awareness that helps us make wise decisions and become aligned with what truly matters.

 About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am serious person. I was a serious child, raised by very thoughtful and serious immigrant parents. I have always had high expectations and standards for myself.

I am now a manager of a large group of people and I am continually frustrated that almost none of them live up to my expectations. The typos in people’s emails make me tense and it is almost impossible for me to point out the mistakes without being mean.

I am in a constant state of agitation, with an equal amount of energy going into self-regulation. I know I should let people be themselves and be more accepting, and that most errors ultimately don’t really matter.

I am trying to be more at peace, and in fact, I have started a mindfulness program. But I keep circling back to taking it personally when my people turn in substandard work or miss deadlines.

How can I stop being so rigid?

Too Serious

Dear Too Serious,

You are who you are. It’s a combination of nature and nurture—and no matter how hard you try, you are not going to achieve a personality transplant. I know. I have been trying my entire conscious life.

Your foray into mindfulness training is an excellent step. Mindfulness is defined by researchers as “self-regulation of attention so that it is maintained on immediate experience thereby allowing for increased recognition of mental events in the present moment,” and “adopting a particular orientation toward one’s experiences in the present moment, an orientation that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.” *

The practice of curiosity, openness, and acceptance will help you to relax a little bit. However, you are still going to wake up tomorrow and be yourself. So here is another idea.

Clearly, thoroughly, and honestly, share with your people who you are, what you expect from them, and what they can expect from you.

At our company we call this sharing your Leadership Point of View (LPoV). In essence, it is an examination of your leadership values—the values that inform your standards for yourself and others. These often come from your parent role models, but also from the observation of leaders you admire and from your own life experiences.

In your LPoV you tell the very human stories that explain and give context for your leadership standards. This information will help your people to understand you better and to know what your rules are. Almost everybody wants to make their boss happy, so giving them the very clear roadmap of how to do that is usually appreciated.

The act of creating your Leadership Point of View will help you to define, for yourself and others, what you will insist on and where you are willing to let things slide. You already know which battles aren’t worth fighting. Making it explicit for yourself will help you choose when to give feedback and when it just doesn’t matter.

When you present your LPoV, you share these expectations explicitly. Right now, your expectations are probably mostly implicit, and you are hoping your people will read your mind.

Instead, spell it out. For example, as surmised from your message to me, you could share:

• I expect all written communication to be well organized and free of errors.
• I expect all team members to meet deadlines, or, if this is not possible, to re-negotiate deadlines before the actual deadline.

Our coaches and I have worked on LPoV with countless clients and it makes a big difference for them. I use it myself and I share it in writing whenever I onboard a new employee. It will feel very risky to you, but do it.

On the topic of taking things personally, I am reminded of a book by Don Miguel Ruiz titled The Four Agreements. It is essentially a code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom that can help to unwind deep seated self-limiting beliefs. In short, the Four Agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

You are probably already impeccable with your word, and clearly doing your best. However, you are taking too much personally, and you are almost certainly making assumptions.

Mr. Ruiz’s prescription for not taking things personally starts with a reminder that nothing is actually about you. You might share this book with your team and encourage discussion about it. A lot could change if everyone on the team agreed to use the Four Agreements as a guide.

In the meantime, keep up that mindfulness training, and breathe. Next time you are annoyed at someone around you acting like the human being they are, just take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

Craft and share your LPoV. Let your people in on how hard it is to be you. Be clear about your standards. Be persistent with holding them to your standards but also be curious, generous, and kind. They will come around.

Love, Madeleine

*Bishop, S.R., et al; “Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition”; Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, V11 N3, 2004, pp. 232

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I work in sales in a large medical device company. I kill my numbers and have been number one in my region for the last six quarters.

I need your advice. My company continually makes errors in creating inventory of the devices we are selling. I just don’t think that I, in good conscience, can continue to sell my heart out when I know that the company will not deliver on its promises of continual customer service and care.

I am at the beginning of my career so maybe I’m just being naïve—but I would like to think that a company like ours understands that when it’s a life or death situation for our customers, keeping some inventory would make sense.

I mentioned this concern to my boss and she looked at me funny and said, “Well, I’m not sure everyone would agree with you.”

I understand that holding inventory is seen as a liability on the books, but it’s becoming clear to me that in the name of better quarterly numbers and shareholder value, the company is literally okay with putting lives at risk.

Am I being a goody two shoes? Should I look for another job?

Outraged

Dear Outraged,

No, you’re not. Yes, you should.

Oops, I’m letting my own moral outrage color my coach approach here, so let’s back up.

The good news is that you’re killing it despite having serious reservations, so it sounds like you really could find a job elsewhere if you decide you can’t stand the situation you’re in. However, big public pharmaceutical and medical device companies have a fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders and must manage the numbers for the Wall Street optics—so I’m not sure you’ll find a different company with customer service as its honest-to-goodness number one priority. Exceptions might be found in privately held firms.

You could look for a company, a product, and a go-to-market strategy with less problematic integrity issues. Or, because your values are such a strong driver for you, you might think about how to apply your sales skill set, brains, and stamina to an organization that does something you believe in deeply.

What you’re seeing is probably the tip of the iceberg. Forgive me if I sound cynical, but I have been working in organizations for long enough to know that people at the individual contributor level only see about half of what’s really going on. So if you’re outraged now, you would probably be incensed if you knew everything.

You say you’re young, so maybe you’re not already wearing the golden handcuffs that come with a big mortgage and children who will require a college education—so the time to make the big decision is probably right now.

Nobody’s perfect and companies make questionable decisions all the time, so you’ll need to decide what you can live with and what is unacceptable. What I do know for sure is that people who spend too much time working in situations that force them to act in direct opposition to their own values eventually run out of steam. Somebody else might say, “Oh for goodness’ sake, grow up and get over yourself.” If you were supporting a family and had no other choice at all, I might say that. But it sounds like you do have a choice, and you have personal agency.

So here we are, back at the beginning. Yes. Get out. Go find yourself a situation where you can make a significant contribution to something great. You will never look back.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I have a wonderful team. They are all very different, with different strengths and skill sets, which I think makes us well rounded. They lean on each other when they need to problem solve. My problem is that my boss seems to have it in for one my people—let’s call her “B”.

We just finished performance review time and I rated B as “meets or exceeds expectations” on all of her goals, which is accurate. She needs to improve in a few areas, but so does everyone else on the team, including me!

My boss thinks I am too soft on B and that I should put her on a performance plan and try to manage her out of the organization. I am mystified by this because B does a respectable job, is dependable, and everyone on the team seems to like working with her.

How should I handle this situation?

Stumped

Dear Stumped,

This is not good and confusing indeed. I think you need to go back to your boss with all of B’s goals and competencies and walk through them together to get more detail on exactly what B needs to improve. Tell your boss you can’t do a PIP if there is nothing you see that needs that much improvement. Ask if they have heard feedback they haven’t shared with you. Hopefully this will shed some light.

If your boss just can’t explain things to your satisfaction, it may be that they have personal ulterior motives. If this is the case, you have a real problem—probably one you can’t solve. What ulterior motive could your boss possibly have, you ask? I have a bit of a jaded view on this, having been coaching in organizations for twenty years. I keep thinking nothing can surprise me anymore, only to find myself being surprised, once again, by how badly people can behave. I will resist the temptation to speculate, but ask yourself Why on earth would my boss want B gone?

You might ask B what her experience with your boss has been without revealing that your boss is not a fan. That might tell you something.

It’s possible your boss is responding to organizational pressures. I recently worked with a client who was in the same position as B and it was because she was an early employee who had a very large base salary. It was very clearly a policy from top brass to thin the ranks of folks with high salaries. But here I go, speculating.

As you explore possible motives, you will have to decide whether to take your boss’s side or stand up for B. So now is a good moment to examine your values—and possibly brush up your LinkedIn profile and resume. Now I am sounding alarmist and I’m sorry, but I want you to be prepared.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

But instead of looking at your goals and lining them up against the measures for success delineated by your company, I propose a different review today. Ready? Look ahead—far, far ahead. Think beyond your work achievements and consider your life achievements. My question is simple: what would you like to be remembered for?

Rarely does a person asking this question think, I’m so glad I hit 15% increased revenue generation each year! If they consider work at all, it’s more likely that they think of the people with whom they achieved that goal. And it’s very likely they think about those at home who benefitted from that success.

For most of us, life is about people. And at the end, reflections on life are recollections of people.

So, on the work front: will you be remembered for working with people, or for working people over? Will you be recalled as a developer of others, or one who mows them down? Will you have shared personal stories with your people and heard their stories, too? Or will they have just occupied roles at work? Will people know what you cherished and valued? Will people recall that you valued them?

The day in, day out behavior people observe in you informs them about you much more completely than an assessment filed away in HR ever would. As the aphorism goes: “People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

What will others remember about you? As the great poet Annie Dillard said: “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

How are you spending your days? How will you be recalled by others? Now is the time to make sure that what you do each day contributes worthily to a life well spent.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

No, I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about March Madness!

I’m a big fan of college basketball and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is like Christmas in March. There are always underdogs upsetting the established favorites and feel-good stories of players overcoming personal challenges to reach new heights in their athletic careers. One of the prominent story lines in this year’s tournament is the University of South Carolina reaching the Final Four for the first time in school history.

In a recent USA Today article, Frank Martin, the head coach for South Carolina, discussed what drives his approach to leadership:

“See I’ve got four core values I live my life by and I run my teams by and I run my family with: Honesty, loyalty, trust and love. And the only way you get to love is if you experience the other three. When you get to love, that gets strong. I don’t care what storm comes through, you’re not breaking love. But if you get to love without the other three, you let that thing go right away. So, you’ve got to go through the first three and that’s the only way you get to love. And that’s what I live by, I run my family by that, and I try to coach our guys that way. To get them to that place in life.”

In just a few poignant sentences, Martin shared what all great leaders know—Values are the foundation upon which your leadership and your life is built.

If you haven’t identified your core values, here’s a quick way to get started:

1. Think about your leadership role models. What about those people inspired you? How did they demonstrate leadership? What was their lasting impact on you? What about their leadership style do you want to emulate?
2. Identify situations that caused you to feel a sense of injustice. What was it about those situations that caused you to feel that way? Was there a particular issue, value, or belief that you felt was being dismissed? Those are likely candidates of values that you hold near and dear to your heart.
3. Consider your non-negotiables. What will you go to the mat on? What battle will you fight no matter the cost? These are the values that should rise to the top of the list.
4. Define and behavioralize your selected values. Write a concise sentence that defines what that value means to you, and then list a few behaviors that illustrate what that behavior looks like in action. For example, if the selected value is trust, a definition might be acting with integrity and keeping commitments. Behaviors of how you live out trust could be tell the truth, treat people fairly, and only make promises I can keep.

You can supercharge your values by sharing them with the people you lead. It helps them better understand what motivates you as a leader and it holds you accountable to consistently behaving in alignment with those values.

Great leaders know the power of having core values.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

Most organisations have mission statements—a clearly defined and articulated purpose to focus energy and help leaders make decisions.

But what about a clearly defined and articulated personal purpose? While most of us have some idea about what we want to do with our lives, many of us don’t have a personal mission statement.

This is an important concept. A personal mission statement harnesses energy and enables us to have a greater sense of well-being—especially if we can connect our personal purpose with our department’s purpose as well as our organisation’s purpose.

Let me give you a personal example. In the mid-nineties while I was in the Royal New Zealand Navy, I attended a Situational Self Leadership training session. As part of the workshop, I spent some time developing and refining my life purpose statement. It required reflection and effort, and eventually I came up with a statement that felt right:

“My life purpose is to use my knowledge, skills, and abilities to work with others in order to create an environment in which people feel valued, content, and fulfilled as they contribute to society.”

Creating my purpose statement was just the first step. In order to leverage and maximise my personal and professional alignment, I printed out the statement, put it into a picture frame, and placed it on my desk. This was a very important second step for me. When it came time to make significant career decisions, I would look at my purpose statement and ask myself What course of action will best help me fulfil my life purpose? 

The framed statement was a great reminder—and it helped immensely when I had difficult decisions to make, such as changing roles and up-skilling in support of training and development. It was an area that fulfilled my purpose more than the operational role for which I was initially selected.

How about you? Have you identified a clear sense of where you want to be, or is it more of a general idea? Why not challenge yourself? Develop a purpose statement for your life. Then align your role with that of your organisation, reflect, and make adjustments as necessary.

I’ve long since left the Navy and am currently a director and consulting partner with Blanchard International New Zealand. In part, I can trace my journey here to the decision I made years ago to identify, write down, and reflect daily on my life purpose statement.

Your future is waiting for you. Don’t wait. Take the first step by writing down your personal mission statement. You never know where it will lead!

About the Author

David Cordery is a Company Director and accredited Consulting Partner with Blanchard International in New Zealand.

At Blanchard we’ve learned that leaders benefit from identifying and clarifying their values because—consciously or unconsciously—they serve as a motivating force, both professionally and personally. We’ve also learned that if leaders are willing to bravely share their values with their team, it not only allows people to better understand what makes the leader tick, but also bonds the whole group closer together.

How might you identify and clarify your own values? Here are a couple of ways:

Do a little exploration. An internet search will uncover various lists of identified values. Read through a few of them to produce your own list of ten values that really resonate with you. Then go through your list, pare it down to your top five values, and rank them in order of importance.

Open up to possibilities. Write your answer to these questions:

• If money weren’t an object, how would I spend my time or use my talents?
• Other than money, what gets me out of bed every morning?

As you write, try not to allow self-limiting beliefs or thoughts to restrict your answers. When you are finished answering the questions, go back and read what you wrote. As you do, pick out the values within your answers. Having a list of values nearby can help.

Pay attention to absorption. Ever find yourself completely absorbed in an activity, where you’ve lost all track of time? You look at the clock and can’t believe you’ve been doing it for hours. Often when we find ourselves completely engrossed in something, it means we are living one or more of our values. When this happens, stop and take note of what you are doing to see what values may be in play.

Why bother with all this? Because whether you are conscious of them or not, your values strongly influence how you show up in the world. Identifying your values allows you to gauge whether or not you are living your life in line with them. When your values and the way you live your life are in harmony, you are in the flow versus fighting to swim upstream. You are being true to yourself and to who you are. And there’s no better feeling than that.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

His firm had just released a new product that his company leaders believe has the potential to become a real game changer.

Development time lines have been aggressive and productive. A company-wide, cross-functional team has created major innovations in the product itself, along with new distribution methods and a streamlined go-to-market strategy.

“All of that is so positive,” he said.

Then he started to choke up.

“I’m now being told to ask my team for even more effort, even more time.  But they’re already fried.  They are working crazy hours and losing time with their families and friends as it is.”

“They have been pushed to the limit,” he continued.  “There is just no way I can ask them for more effort.  The rumor is that some are beginning to question whether they want to continue working here. They’re worn out, and so am I.”

This executive is known for delivering on his promises, and for caring deeply about his team.

Knowing this, I asked, “The emotion that is welling up right now may be trying to give voice to something big.  What does it want you to say?”

He said, “I fear we are dangerously close to losing some of our integrity as a company.  We tell the world that one of our core values is relationships and caring deeply about one another.  Yet, we just keep squeezing each other harder.  Do we value relationships or don’t we?  What do we really value?  Who are we really being?”

His questions hung heavy in the air like a dense fog.

Enhancing Motivation and Well-Being

How would you respond if you were in this manager’s shoes?

The challenge here is a group of high performers who are feeling the relentless demands imposed by senior management is negatively impacting and imposing upon their well-being and quality of life.  This is causing them to question the company’s sincerity when it claims to care deeply about people in addition to results.

In some organizations, the grumbling and questioning might just be an expected part of the process when people are asked to put in extra effort.  In those organizations, traditional approaches to spurring employee motivation might emphasize accountability.

In other organizations, another common leader response is to avoid the subject and just keep the conversation focused on the task at hand.  Maybe a reminder that the project will eventually be completed and if the staff could just push through a little more it will all be worth it in the end.

But in motivational terms, these employees are no longer aligned with their work—and maybe the company.  Here is an additional course of action that might not be as typical but would certainly better address the situation with a more optimally motivating approach.  (Send us a note with your added suggestions!)

1. Hold an out-in-the-open discussion either one-on-one or in small groups about the company stated values and how people are feeling right now.  The first skill of a mature motivational leader is empathy.  Let people express themselves clearly and boldly.  Listen, listen, and then listen some more.  Be careful not to respond defensively.

2. Seek suggestions from the staff about how they might work together to lessen the pressure, first without extending delivery timelines.  Generate a dozen suggestions.

3. Allow the staff to choose implementation strategies for two or three of their suggestions.  Modify as needed.  The key here is the employees get to choose ways to address the issue productively.

4. Discuss how each chosen suggestion would demonstrate that everyone in the company honors the relationships value, without undermining goal achievement.

5. Lastly, make sure the leaders who have been applying the pressure are part of the process and are fully aligned with the adjustments.

6. End the meeting by celebrating the collective effort and affirming everyone’s dedication to continually enriching the work relationships while striving for meaningful results.

7. Monitor progress as needed—and be careful not to slip back into the old, habituated ways of doing things.

Think Motivationally

In today’s hyper-competitive business environment, employees everywhere are being asked to constantly focus on increasing performance.  Too often leaders see results as an either/or choice that requires sacrifices in other areas—such as honoring core values.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Think motivationally—consider how you can achieve results and promote autonomy, values, and relationships along the way.  You don’t have to choose—a focus on results and relationships will create the results you want and promote the sense of well-being that employees genuinely need in order to thrive.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

The total program included modules around personality, values, organization vision and alignment, leadership style, high performing teams, change management, and motivation—the gamut.

This final module consisted of five one-hour-long group presentations about various aspects of their learning journey and its impact on people, process, and results. We asked about personal insights, how they applied their learning to real work, and what the human and economic impacts were of such application. And finally, in terms of their development, we asked them what they wanted to do next.

In terms of roles, the “what’s next” question revealed an array of ambitions. One wants to be CEO within 10 years. Another wants to lead the expansion of engineering capabilities in the African subsidiaries. And a third sees a future in corporate strategy with the aim of improving how global change initiatives are conceived and executed.

What was most beautiful was not the ambitions themselves, although I often feel their gravitational pull compelling me to double-check my own goals and velocity toward them. Instead, the most heartening aspect of their ambitions was how they promised to approach them.

Reduce Pressure to Go Fast

Whereas in the past, on their way to greater roles and responsibilities, these executives would have passed the pressure they received from their bosses to others in direct proportion—or even amplify it—now they realize that pressure often does more harm than good. The motivation research shows that pressure is easily internalized as a form of control, which then undermines a person’s eagerness to perform an act voluntarily and with an optimistic sense of purpose. In other words, pressure creates a negative Motivational Outlook, which slows the pace and quality of work in the moment and in the long run.

These executives also described how they helped even very senior employees build additional competence faster than before, and how those employees then displayed increased confidence that they could handle even more-complex projects. It was nice to hear, too, how the quality of their relationships improved as a result.

Executives take a lot of heat—much of it deserved—for leading as if people do not matter much. So, I decided to share this with you because I wonder what you think when you read about executives who have dedicated themselves to leading in challenging times with boldness, grace, warmth, ever-increasing skill, and maturity. How does it inspire you or catalyze new thinking about how you lead?

It was a privilege to watch these leaders commit to a truly human—and humane—approach to leading others, and to see that by actually doing it things are already improving for them and everyone around them. Sometimes it is nice to take a break and simply enjoy watching people flower and shine right in front of our very eyes. I thought you might enjoy that, too.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together  with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

• “Do unto others as you would have _____ ___ _____ ____.” (Yes, the Golden Rule)
• “Beauty is in the eyes of ____ _________.”
• “If it were me, this is what __ ______ ___.”

I trust you were able to complete these very common sayings.  While well meaning and mostly true, these are not just sayings, they are mindsets. They are beliefs that determine behavior and how we act toward other people. This is all fine except when it comes to service.

Find your focus

In my last blog, I said that service was all about you:  your willingness to serve, your decision to serve, your instinct to serve. But what you do—your actual behavior and how you approach a situation—has to be about the customer, if you are genuinely interested in wanting your customer to feel served.

In their original form, these sayings all sound as if they are actually focused on the customer. However, with careful analysis, you will see how they are not:

• “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (There’s an assumption here that everyone wants to be treated the way you want to be treated. Not necessarily so!)

• “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” (Guess what? The beholder is you. The customer might see the situation in a completely different way!)

• “If it were me, this is what I would do.” (Oh, wouldn’t the world be a better place if we were all just like you!)

A better approach

If you were to finish those sayings with the customer in mind, they might sound something like this:

• “Do unto others as they want to be done unto.” (Ah yes, The Platinum Rule!)

• “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholden.” (Much better!)

• “If it were me, this is what….” (On second thought—rid your vocabulary of this one altogether!)

At least the first two can be “spun” to focus on the customer. But the last one—“If it were me, this is what I would do”—is one of the most dangerous phrases in the English language. It’s all about you in the worst possible way.

It is advocacy disguised as choice. It completely blocks you from understanding or giving any consideration to how other people think, feel, make decisions, or in any way might act differently than you would in a given situation. Unless you’re giving casual advice to a friend, stay away from this one.

A one word reminder

So what’s the cure for, “If it were me, this is what I would do” syndrome? In a word, LISTENING.

Listen to understand. Listen to be influenced. Listen to learn. And when you’ve felt that you’ve heard enough—listen just a little bit more—it really is the best way to put yourself in the customer mindset!

About the author:

Ann Phillips is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read Ann’s posts as a part of our customer service series which appears on the first and third Thursday of each month.

Saying “yes” and sometimes “no” to customers

Christina is 100% about the student athletes—her customers—and ensuring that they are getting the best care and attention needed. And part of that is sometimes saying what the customer DOESN’T want to hear—“You are not ready to play yet.” You see, taking care of customers is knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no” because, in this case, it is about getting the athlete better and keeping them healthy.

Although she is known for playing it safe vs. taking risks—which can frustrate players, coaches, and even parents at times—her code of ethics and responsibility always wins people over in the long run. Many a time has a coach, parent and player thanked her for her dedication and thoroughness after the fact.

Working in the best interests of the customer

Christina never loses sight of who her customers are—the student athletes—and does whatever it takes to make sure that they feel cared for. In fact, she often calls a parent or student over the weekends, as well as check in with doctors to see how her patients are doing! In return, the sign of her customer loyalty is displayed by the number of athletes that show up in her office to eat their lunch and chat. They know they are always welcome there and feel comfortable just hanging out.

As a parent of two student athletes over the years at this high school, I am so grateful to have her as our athletic trainer and thank her for her professionalism and servant heart. And I know from having two sons that have been in her care, that her “customers” appreciate her as well!

About the author:

Kathy Cuff is one of the principal authors—together  with Vicki Halsey—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.  Their customer service focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.

Once you’ve got your best boss in mind, take another minute to identify what it was about him or her that made them special and memorable for you.  Chances are that you will identify a couple of traits similar to these that other people have identified when we’ve asked this question.

“_____________________ was/is my best boss because he/she …

• Believed in me
• Trusted me
• Gave me an opportunity to grow
• Took me under their wing
• Made work fun
• Treated me fairly
• Went to bat for me
• Stuck their neck out for me

Was your boss’s trait one of these—or something different?  While each of us will identify different specific traits that our best boss has, there is probably a word that includes any that you might have come up with.  All of us, no matter what our experience, could probably say that our best boss was so special in our eyes because they truly CARED about us.

I know that this is true in my own case. My best boss was Margie Blanchard, the cofounder of our company who I reported to from 2000 to 2003.  The traits that made Margie so special in my eyes included that she

• Connected with me
• Acknowledged me
• Respected me
• Expected more from me

Now I know that acronyms can be overdone at times—especially in the consulting business, but I couldn’t help but notice that the first letter of those traits spells CARE. 

Magic? I don’t think so, just a great reminder of a key ingredient to being a great boss.  Though it will be displayed in many forms, at its core, one of the key traits of our best bosses is that they cared about us.

A Fun Exercise and Way to Celebrate

So let’s have some fun with this and tap into our collective brilliance.  I’m a big believer in “catching people doing things right” and that “none of us is as smart as all of us.” Let’s put both of those ideas to work today with a little exercise.

Help me expand on this CARE acronym by adding your boss’s trait into the mix.  As the cheerleaders say, “Give me a C, Give me an A, Give me an R, Give me an E!”  Just use the COMMENTS button above to type in a trait of your best boss that goes with one of these letters.  (For extra credit, take a minute to identify and say thanks to that best boss while you’re here.) I promise you’ll feel good and get off to a good start this week if you do.

Who knows, together we might create one of the truly great leadership acronyms (rivaling SMART goals even!)

And even if we don’t, we will still have a great reminder of this one important trait that we can carry with us today as we work with our colleagues and direct reports.

Employees are always concerned about how their boss will react when he or she finds out about a situation. This uncertainty keeps people unwilling to step out of tightly defined roles for fear that they will do something wrong. People shouldn’t have to guess how their leader would respond. Leaders can improve the situation—and open up a little playing room for employees—by clearly sharing their expectations.

Have you shared your leadership expectations with your people—or are you expecting them to figure it out on their own from your actions? If your work relationship could use a little more clarity, here’s a three-step process to help you get started.

1. Identify your leadership values. What do you believe about leadership? Where did you pick up those values? For most leaders, beliefs and values about leadership are picked up from influential people who have played a role in their early development. Who are the people who influenced you? What did you learn from them? Surprisingly, most leaders will point to someone outside a traditional leadership role as a key influencer in their life. Many times, for example, people will point to a parent, grandparent, or teacher as someone who most influenced their views.

2. Define your leadership point of view. This answers the question, “A leader’s role is to ….” How would you fill in the rest of this sentence? Your answer provides the background for the action you’ll take in step three.

3. Share and set expectations. Turn those internal thoughts into a communication plan by sharing your thinking with the people who report to you. People shouldn’t have to guess what you are thinking. Make it easy by clearly spelling out what people can expect from you as a leader—and what you expect from them in return.

Setting clear expectations is a great way to reduce the amount of time people spend wondering how the boss will react to a certain situation. It provides some clarity and definition of the playing field that gives people the peace of mind that they can step out boldly and confidently knowing that they are working in accordance with the direction their boss wants them to go. You shouldn’t be a mystery. Your leadership values should be an open book. To learn more about developing and sharing your leadership point of view, check out the free on-demand webinar with Ken Blanchard, Developing Your Leadership Point of View. It’s available courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Jesse Lyn Stoner, a leading expert on the topic of visioning, and coauthor with Ken Blanchard of Full Steam Ahead!: Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Work and Your Life believes that when team members set these foundational pieces in place, there is less wasted time, less conflicting priorities, and less interpersonal conflict because team members trust they are all moving in the same direction, guided by the same values.

In a recent article for Ignite!, Stoner recommends a three step approach to getting people aligned and working together effectively.

Be specific in setting values that will guide the way the team works together. All new groups need a set of common rules that will define expected behaviors. Identifying common values can be a challenge for teams when they first come together because the words alone can mean different things to different people. The key is to define the words with specific examples. For example, what does transparent, responsible, and “good team player” mean to you?  More importantly, what exactly does it mean to others in the group?

Keep your customer in mind. It’s easy to fall into the trap of defining your group’s work in terms of what you produce in the way of products or services.  Effective leaders define their team’s purpose from the viewpoint of those who benefit from their services and products.  For example, a marketing team shouldn’t define their work as creating brochures, staging events, and promoting consistent branding.  Instead, the team should see its work as “providing a steady stream of new leads for Sales associates.”

Focus on accountability to bring your vision to life. Once a team has identified its purpose, values, and picture of the future, Stoner recommends that the team publish their vision.  And probably more importantly, check in with internal and external customers on a regular basis to see how you are doing in achieving your team’s stated purpose.

The vast majority of work teams never live up to their potential.  Don’t waste the opportunity to get the best from the people you bring together.  Taking a little extra time up front to define and publish expectations can make a huge difference in the long run.

Click here to read more about Stoner’s thoughts on Unify Your Team through a Common Vision or learn more about a free webinar that Stoner will be conducting on Purpose, Passion, and Meaningful Work—how to get where you want to go

In the latest issue of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Ignite newsletter, co-founder Ken Blanchard shares how the recession of the past two years put many organizations into a position of having to decide between people and profits in order to stay in business. Some of those decisions were painful, and in some cases, the way decisions were made had an adverse impact on the human side of the organization. The facilities and the equipment are intact, but the people are not present in the same way as before.

As a result says Blanchard, “People are looking for clues to see if their organization is only interested in the bottom line, or if they are equally concerned with the people side of the business.”

For leaders looking to rebuild trust, commitment, and morale in their organizations, Blanchard recommends senior leaders focus on creating a compelling vision, while immediate managers work to implement plans by connecting individual work to overall goals. 

As Blanchard explains, “Senior leaders need to create a compelling vision that defines or redefines the organization’s business. The key here is to have a clear focus on the customer and make that everyone’s goal. During the past recession, people saw what looked like self-serving behavior on the part of a lot of leaders. In many organizations, it seemed as if top leaders saw the organization only as a way to achieve personal ends. In contrast, when senior leaders identify a compelling vision of the future and align the organization’s goals and values toward this vision, everyone can move in the right direction and focus their energy on the customer.

“Frontline managers need to make sure that each and every employee’s work is connected to an overall department or organizational goal and that the employee can see how their work has an impact. To build trust and respect with direct reports, frontline managers should schedule regular one-on-one meetings with their people. Managers should use these sessions to clarify expectations, solicit input, answer questions, and provide feedback. Nothing shows that you care and respect a person—and their work—more than spending time with them, checking on their progress, and providing help when necessary.”

To read more about Ken Blanchard’s thoughts on rebuilding trust, commitment, and morale, be sure to check out the complete article here.  To participate in a complimentary webinar Ken Blanchard will be conducting on this topic visit the information page for Healing the Wounded Organization.  The webinar is free and hosted by Cisco WebEx.  Click here for details.

All of us have a genuine leader inside of us.  To help you get started with discovering and communicating who you really are as a leader, here are six questions to ask yourself from Ken Blanchard’s book Leading at a Higher Level:

1. Who have been the leadership influencers in your life?  People often point to former bosses or other organizational leaders, but also consider other people who may have influenced you such as parents, grandparents, friends, coaches or teachers. What did you learn from these people about leadership?

2. What is your overall purpose, and what do you want to accomplish? The most important thing in life is to decide what’s most important. What are you trying to accomplish as a leader?

3. What are your core values? Values are beliefs you feel strongly about such as success, integrity, or honesty. You’ll probably start with a long list of values but fewer are better, particularly if you want your values to guide your behavior. You’ll also want to rank the order of your values. Why?  Because values are sometimes in conflict. For example, if you value financial success, but integrity is your core value, any activities that could lead to financial gain must first be checked against your integrity value.

4. What are your beliefs about leading and motivating people? This is about surfacing your personal beliefs and assumptions.  In your experience, what do people want from work? What do you believe motivates people to give their best?  What is a leader’s role? Answering these questions about your beliefs gives you insight into how you will subsequently act.

5. What can people expect from you as a leader? Letting people know what they can expect from you gets at the core of transparency. Given your purpose, values, and beliefs about people and leadership, what can people expect from you?

6. What do you expect from your people? People want and need clear expectations from their leaders.  Be upfront—it’s imperative that you let people know what you expect from them. It gives them their best chance to succeed.

Answering the questions above helps you understand a little bit more about yourself as a leader.  What did you learn?  What are your strengths?  What are potential pitfalls? As you take your first steps toward authenticity, don’t be too hard on yourself. This might be your first time thinking about your beliefs about leading and motivating people. Incorporate the ideas above and keep working at it. Have open and honest dialogues with those you lead and with those who lead you. The world needs genuine authentic leaders. Be a leader who makes a positive difference. People are counting on you—the real you!

Smith explained that people are constantly seeking to meet deep seated needs in four areas: survival, love, significance, and variety. And their experience in getting their needs met in these four areas creates a “belief window,” that drives their behavior. Since everyone has different experiences in these four areas, Smith explained that we each have different belief windows that color our perceptions.

At work, the challenge is when we have beliefs that result in behaviors that hold us back. For example, procrastination based on a fear of making mistakes or a constant need for attention based on a past sense of insignificance.

As a leader, it is important to periodically look at your beliefs—especially if you feel that your behaviors are not generating the results you want. Here’s a six-step process that Smith outlined that will help you get started

1. Identify the behavior patterns. What is holding you back?
2. Identify possible principles driving the behavior. What are your experiences and beliefs in this area?
3. Predict future behavior based on those principles. If you continue to hold on to these beliefs, what are the likely outcomes you can expect?
4. Identify alternative principles. Is there a way to challenge or reframe that belief? Is it necessarily true? More importantly, is that belief serving you?
5. Predict future behavior based on the new principle. If you did adopt a new belief, what are some potential new behaviors you might expect?
6. Compare steps three and five. Look at the results you want versus the results you are currently getting. Are you where you want to be? If not, what beliefs need to change first?

Our reality is based on our perception. How are you perceiving the world? Is it getting you where you want to go? If not, take a look at your belief window. Are their some things you can clean up starting today?

For Barrett, doing the work is a key ingredient to the success that Southwest has enjoyed in the tough airline industry over the past forty years.  It’s also one of the reasons why best-selling business author Ken Blanchard wanted to work with Barrett on a new book that captures the real-life leadership examples that have made Southwest Airlines a model of good management. Titled Lead with LUV: A Different Way to Create Real Success, it’s just out in bookstores this month.

 “She does the things I write about,” says Blanchard. “The stuff that I’ve learned and taught over the years, it’s all in there with a real person who did it.”

And one of the things that Blanchard writes about often is the importance of celebrating both people and results.

As Barrett explains, “What’s important is the fact that you’re honoring people and acknowledging that what they do makes a positive difference. In the process, you are making heroes out of them. You are letting them know that you love them for their efforts and you want everybody to celebrate their success.”

But it does require doing the work.  And at Southwest, this means that officers hand-write notes to thousands of employees each year.

As Barrett explains, “Besides being loving, we know this is meaningful to our people, because we hear from them if we miss something significant in their lives, like the high school graduation of one of their kids. We just believe in accentuating the positive and celebrating people’s successes.”

You can learn more about the ways that Southwest Airlines takes the time to stop and recognize their people by accessing the first chapter of Lead with LUV: A Different Way to Create Real Success here.

Also, don’t miss a complimentary webinar that Colleen Barrett and Ken Blanchard will be conducting on January 26.  Hosted by Cisco WebEx, click here to find out more about this free Lead with LUV event.

For individuals looking to improve their ability to work successfully with others, Fowler recommends a 3-step process.

• Identify the relationships you are currently involved in at work. Are the people in your immediate circle of influence helping you achieve your goals at work? What is the nature of your relationships? If those relationships are superficial, negative, or nonexistent, then there is a very real chance that you are not going to achieve your goals—at least not in a way that is going to leave you with a sense of vitality, or joy in your accomplishment.
• Determine if the conflict issues in your relationships are caused by a values conflict—where you see things differently, or a dispositional conflict—where your preferred style of responding is different.
• Take action. If you are experiencing a values difference with another person, look for areas where you have values in common. Some common examples are a dedication to helping customers, or a common commitment to high quality work. If the strained relationship is being caused by differences in disposition, take a minute to explore and understand the different ways people respond to work situations. Fowler prefers a behavioral model, such as DISC, as a way to understand dispositional differences including whether a person is more introverted or extraverted, or more controlling or accepting in typical situations.

The basic human need for relatedness or meaningful relationships at work tends to get diminished in many organizations according to Fowler. Don’t let that happen in your organization.

“Managers are often taught that it is not inside the scope of a manager’s role or appropriate to deal with personal issues. But the research is clear that to ignore a person’s need for meaningful relationships in the workplace is to ignore an essential ingredient for basic motivation, vitality, and the sense of well-being that results in a person’s good intentions at work.

Check out the full text of Why Relationships at Work Are So Important here.  Also, don’t miss Fowler’s October 20 complimentary webinar on Creating Effective Work Relationships.

Last week I had a conversation with Ken Blanchard to get his thoughts on John Wooden’s passing and his contributions to the field of leadership. Blanchard first met Wooden in 1995 when they shared the speaking platform at a leadership breakfast at Long Beach State University. “My friend Bob Buford had recently written his book ‘Halftime: Moving from Success to Significance’ in which he posed the question of whether people at midlife felt their best years were behind them or ahead of them. I posed that same question to Coach Wooden, who was 85 years old at the time. He told me ‘Ken, I have so much to look forward to.’ I think he probably had more of an impact in his ‘retirement’ than he did coaching basketball.”

“Wooden was a gentle, humble man, but he was also a stickler for principles that he considered important” recounted Blanchard. “I remember him telling the story of Bill Walton showing up one day with a full beard, knowing full well that Coach Wooden had a team policy prohibiting facial hair. Walton explained that it was his right to have as much facial hair as he wanted and he wasn’t going to shave. Coach Wooden told him ‘Bill, I admire people who have strong beliefs and stick by them. We’re all going to miss you!’”

“In my viewpoint, John Wooden personified what it means to ‘lead at a higher level’”, Blanchard said. “Leading at a higher level means that you focus on the greater good. Too many leaders think leadership is all about them and their own self interests. People who lead at a higher level want to achieve worthwhile results while acting with care, respect, and fairness for the well-being of all who are involved.”

In mourning Wooden’s death last week, words like “love,” “service,” “sacrifice,” “role model,” “leader,” “mentor,” and “father figure” were used by the people who knew him best. The focus was not on all the wins, championships, or players he sent to the NBA. It was on the impact he had as a leader who clearly demonstrated the values of servant leadership and what it means to lead at a higher level.

Thanks for showing us the way, Coach. We’re going to miss you.

The story of Hurricane Katrina in August 2005 and its devastating impact on the city of New Orleans has been well chronicled. In March 2006, Drew Brees joined the Saints football team having just come off major shoulder surgery that threatened his playing career. Brees has been quoted as saying that he felt his decision to join the Saints was a “calling” – a higher purpose that he needed to fulfill, not only to resurrect his own career, but also to help the people of New Orleans resurrect their city. This deep connection to his own personal purpose and that of the city at large created a culture change within the Saints organization which ultimately led them to achieving the greatest prize in their profession.

After the game Brees was quoted as saying, “We played for our city. We played for the entire Gulf Coast region. We played for the entire Who Dat nation that has been behind us every step of the way.”

Teams of all kinds, whether in the sports world, corporate America, or the non-profit sector, can take a lesson from the Saints and the power of purpose. When chartering a team, one of the first priorities is to establish a clear purpose. “Why do we exist?” and “What are we trying to achieve?” are key questions that need to be answered.

Once a team is clear on its purpose, it can establish the values that will guide team members’ behaviors and decisions and in turn establish goals that will help them achieve their purpose. Finding a way to connect each team members’ personal purpose to that of the team will exponentially increase the productivity and morale of the team, allowing the team to achieve more than any one individual possibly could. When the team faces adversity, it will be their firm belief and commitment to their purpose that will carry them through.

“Just to think of the road we’ve all traveled, the adversity we’ve all faced,” Brees said.

“It’s unbelievable. I mean, are you kidding me? Four years ago, whoever thought this would be happening? Eighty-five percent of the city was under water. Most people left not knowing if New Orleans would ever come back, or if the organization would ever come back.

“We just all looked at one another and said, ‘We’re going to rebuild together. We are going to lean on each other.’ That’s what we’ve done the last four years and this is the culmination in all that belief.”

That sounds like the power of purpose to me.

• Part of the reason is that culture is hard to define in most organizations. It operates in the background while other, easier-to-measure aspects of corporate performance—like goals and tasks, preoccupy leadership discussions.
• Senior executives greatly underestimate the power of an organizational culture plus very few leaders have ever had any real experience in dealing with culture change.

For executives who know that their organization’s culture is not what it could be, Edmonds and Glaser recommend taking a three-step approach:

1. Examine the existing culture—look at the underlying beliefs and assumptions that are influencing people’s existing behavior. Especially look at getting senior leaders to examine their own personal beliefs about getting things done in the organization.
2. Define the desired behavior—don’t assume that everyone agrees what good behavior looks like.  Take the time to formally define values in behavioral terms. Gather input from employees and boil it down into clear, actionable items.
3. Hold people accountable for living the stated values—once the values and behaviors have been identified and defined, the final step to creating a culture that works is holding people accountable

A strong, working culture helps to create satisfied employees who feel cared for, trusted, and respected, which increases engagement and ultimately leads to better productivity. To read the entire article, click here.

How do we protect ourselves from such failures? It’s a complex issue that is influenced by a person’s spiritual, mental, and emotional makeup, but we can ask ourselves a few simple questions that will help us to evaluate the impact of our decisions. Is it legal? Will this decision break any civil laws or company policies? Is it balanced and fair? Will this decision or action promote win-win relationships for those involved and is it fair to everyone in both the short-term and long-term? How will it make me feel about myself? If this decision or action was published on the home page of CNN, would I be proud? What would those closest to me think about it? Of course these simple questions won’t completely resolve all the moral and ethical dilemmas we face, but it certainly can put us on the right track.

In other words, people need to see an example of the kind of behavior that’s expected of them at work.  Without it, there’s too much room for individual interpretation.  While each of us may have an individual interpretation of what honesty, openness, and responsibility means, what’s really important is how the organization defines it.  And even more important is to provide people with living examples (read senior leaders) who walk the talk of the organization’s values.

As an example, Chris showed me how one large Fortune 500 company defined “Integrity” in their organization:

We work with customers and prospects openly, honestly and sincerely. When we say we will do something, we will do it; when we say we cannot or will not do something, then we won’t do it.

Think for a moment about what the senior executives in this organization would look like.  What would they be doing?  How would they run meetings? How would they manage direct reports?  How would they interact with customers?

It’s important to get a clear picture of what the behavior that goes along with this definition looks like.  Without it, you don’t have a clear set of behaviors that you can hold people accountable to.  And when that happens, you’re setting yourself up for trouble down the road.  Just ask the customers, investors, and employees of Enron—the former Fortune 500 company mentioned above.