Dear Madeleine,

I have been managing people for over a decade and now manage several businesses. There are constant fires that need to be put out. I spend hours on the phone trying to get to the bottom of what the problems are. Sometimes, after I have put in time, it turns that what seemed like a huge issue just isn’t.

I can’t tell if this is just the job, or if I need to get better at identifying whether something is simply noise or a real problem that keeps us from meeting our deadlines. My biggest concern is that I will misjudge and let a critical issue slide.

How do other leaders deal with this?

Tempest in a Tea Pot

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Tempest in a Tea Pot

It is both: it’s the job and it’s something you need to get better at.

What you’re describing is a classic challenge for high-level managers: balancing urgent issues with truly important ones. Some problems feel massive but end up being inconsequential, while others sneak in as minor concerns and derail progress if left unaddressed. The people who master this aspect of leadership enjoy their work a lot more than those who don’t.

It sounds like you might benefit from implementing a structured approach for triaging issues more effectively. Here are some ideas:

Create a Decision Filter: Develop a reliable system for assessing the impact of a problem. Questions you might ask yourself include:

• Will this problem directly affect revenue, compliance, or key deadlines?
• Is it recurring or a one-time issue?
• Does it require my input or can someone else handle it?
• What is the worst-case scenario if it isn’t addressed right now?

Empower Your Team: If you’re spending too much time on the phone chasing down problems, it could mean your team isn’t equipped to handle certain issues independently. Possibly you have trained them to depend on you instead of requiring them to consider possible solutions before escalating to you. Consider implementing a clear escalation process where only specific, high-level concerns reach you.

Data-Driven Analysis: Keep a log of these fires. You may be able to identify patterns, which would point to certain processes that need refinement or proactive solutions.

Set Communication Protocols: Instead of reacting to every issue immediately, structure how your team communicates problems. For example:

• Categorize issues (critical, important, low priority). Define exactly what needs to be escalated and what you expect your people to deal with on their own.
• Have daily or weekly problem-solving huddles. This may help to develop a shared understanding and language for what is a real problem and what might be interpreted as a temporary inconvenience.
• Require that your team members submit a written report before you agree to a meeting, so that you can see the full scope before reacting. Sometimes the discipline of having to explain a situation in writing can help the person identify a solution for themselves.

Time-Box Your Problem-Solving: Instead of getting dragged into long phone calls, set a limit; e.g., “Let’s discuss this for ten minutes. If needed, we’ll escalate further.”

If you have any peers you trust, it could help to ask them how they deal with this issue. You may get some great ideas that relate directly to your business.

This is definitely part of the job; but if you’re constantly firefighting, it might indicate that you need to stop allowing your folks to use you as a sounding board, duck responsibility, or be overly dramatic. As Ken Blanchard has said, “Leadership is what happens when you’re not around.” So the more you can train them to think things through, assess risk, weigh the options, develop a community of thought partners, and make good decisions without needing your help, the more you are developing your people.

I wish you smoother sailing!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work on a team that has had a lot of turnover in the last couple of years. Although our company is very big, over time I have learned who to call to get things done. I am now considered our team’s “answer lady.”

The situation has slowly morphed into people asking me to forward their email instead of taking the next step themselves. I now spend time taking care of a lot of tasks that aren’t mine. In addition, my boss has had a lot going on in her personal life, so I frequently fill in for her.

I recently realized a lot of small things have added up to me doing so much more than I think is fair, and I am starting to get annoyed. How do I push back when my co-workers try to fob their work off on me? And how do I tell my boss I can’t fill in as much as she’d like? I have my own personal life to attend to, after all.

Answer Lady 

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Answer Lady,

How do you push back? How do you tell your boss enough is enough?

Directly, clearly, and kindly, but firmly. That’s how.

You are training your co-workers to believe you will take care of things they don’t know how (or want) to do. You are training your boss to believe you can do your job and hers, too. So cut it out.

I don’t want to sound like I’m blaming you—I’m not. This happens to most people whose first impulse is to be helpful until they realize they have created a problem for themselves. The problem is if you send the message that it is okay for someone to do something, they will keep doing it for as long as you allow it. So you must stop allowing it.

This might be uncomfortable and challenging at first because you have to set new expectations and retrain people, which will be inconvenient for them. You may even find that some folks get upset—but remember, the only people who get upset with you for setting boundaries are the people who benefit from your not having them. If you shy away from conflict, which I suspect is the case, this will certainly be unpleasant. But a moment of unpleasantness in exchange for not being annoyed all the time is worth it.

Next time a co-worker assumes you will take the next steps, clearly state who they should speak with and ask them to let you know how things work out. Do not volunteer to take over, forward an email, or get involved. Just stop taking on other people’s work.

As for your boss, I think it is fair for you to have a conversation with her. You can share that you wanted to help out because you know she has been having a rough time, but your workload is becoming unmanageable. Be prepared with a list of what you think makes sense for you to continue to do on her behalf until things settle down for her, and a list of activities you feel are way beyond your job scope.

This is, of course, unless you want to ask for a promotion and a raise. If you think it makes sense, you can certainly prepare to do that. You might want to rehearse with a friend how to frame your request so that you have a clean, concise approach. Something along the lines of “I understand you need coverage, and I wonder if it would make sense for you to deputize me for the duration? It might mean changing my title and possibly a bump in pay.” Avoid complaining. Instead, point out the reality and share some proposed solutions. Be kind but clear. The more you can keep feelings and emotions out of it, the easier the conversation will be for both of you.

The beauty of putting some time into practicing setting boundaries is that people often will sense the shift in you and stop asking you to do things they shouldn’t ask you to do. I am not quite sure how this happens, but I have experienced it myself and seen it happen for countless clients. But it doesn’t always. You still need to be ready to draw a line in the sand.

Start today. Stand up for yourself before you get so annoyed you say something you regret. It’s much better to strike while the iron is cold and say what needs to be said before you get heated up.

There is helping out in a pinch, and then there is letting people take advantage of you—which will continue to happen until you put up the hand.

Good luck!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I was recently promoted and I am drowning. I am still supporting the person who took my former job while trying to get my head around my new job. My new team is huge, and I didn’t know any of them until I stepped into this job. I couldn’t get through my email if I spent ten hours a day trying. And that doesn’t include all of the stuff coming in on Slack.

My new boss has no time for me and clearly expects me to be able to hit the ground running, but I just can’t. I am supposed to get an assistant, but HR wants me to interview people, and I don’t have time. They have offered me a coach to help me—but again, I am supposed to talk to a few and choose one and I don’t have time for that.

My partner tells me I am headed toward burnout. I don’t think that is true. I’m not depressed or apathetic, just in way over my head. How can I get a grip? Any ideas you might have would be appreciated.

Need to Stabilize

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Need to Stabilize,

You have collapsed how you are feeling with reality. You are feeling like there is an emergency when there is no actual emergency. It sounds like you are in such a state of alarm you can’t think straight. And thinking straight is what you need to be able to do right now.

 So the first order of business is to turn off all of the noise and simply hear your own thoughts. Turn off Slack. Close your email. Turn your phone off. If you work in an office, go to another part of the building. A client I worked with once used to go to the stairwell. If you work from home, go to a coffee shop or a park. Step away from your normal environment and go someplace where no one can find you.

Put an out-of-office message on your email that indicates you will be focused elsewhere for the next 48 hours, and if the sender of an email deems it critical, they can resend in a few days.

Now write down everything you need to do—everything from the biggest, most complex things down to the smallest, and then prioritize it all.

Then delegate. Anything that someone else could conceivably do is to be done by someone else. Presumably the folks in HR are good at hiring, so tell them to choose the best candidate to be your assistant. Presumably the people offering you a coach have a pool of highly qualified coaches for you to choose from—and, honestly, any decent coach will be able to help you right now. There is zero research that supports the idea that anyone has an appreciably better coaching experience when they choose their own coach. Have the folks managing the coaching assign you a coach.

Do not spend a single minute doing anything that somebody else can do.

Tell your replacement that you need seven days to focus on your new job, and that they should collect their questions to bring to you then. They can text you if there is a potential train wreck about to happen.

Your boss expects you to hit the ground running? I love that expression because it sounds like something James Bond does when he drops out of a plane. It is not a real thing. But when your boss has no time for you, you can only assume you are on your own and you will have to use your best judgment. Draft an email to your boss outlining what you think is most important and what you plan to focus on for the next thirty days. They may ignore your email. Maybe they will respond with “OK fine, go go go,” or maybe they will suggest some changes. They may suggest (I have seen this before) that everything is a priority, which would be a cop out. If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority, so you will have to use your best judgment. Either way, you will have kept up your end of the implicit bargain by sending the email.

Getting to know your team is a priority. Once your new assistant is in place, have them set up 1×1’s with each of your new direct reports. Have them send you an email before their meeting in which they answer the following questions, (obviously you should edit these to suit you):

• What are the tasks and goals you are working on?
• What direction or support do you need from me on each of those tasks?
• What should you be doing that you are not doing and what is getting in the way?
• What is worrying you?
• What are you pleased about?
• What are your top strengths?
• What is your superpower?
• What do you want me to know about you?
• What do you want to know about me?
• What do you think I should know about your world, and about the team?

As you meet with each person, ask yourself what things are on your list that you might put on their list.  You will probably be able to find a few things. Will they do it the way you would do it? No. Will they do it as well? Probably not. But they might do it better—and either way, it will be done. Done is better than perfect, at least for now. You are never going to be able to do everything yourself, so you might as well start getting things done through others right now.

Finally, remember that you were promoted because someone thought you were competent enough to figure things out. And I suspect that you will be, once your brain is available for use.

So.

Nobody ever tells you that half the battle of senior leadership is choosing what to pay attention to and what to ignore. Stop. Breathe. Turn off the noise. Think. Breathe some more. Focus. Decide what you are going to do first, and what you will do in the next five days. Ignore everything else, for now.

You’ll feel much better.

“But what about the fallout if I make the wrong decisions?” you are asking. That may happen, but, well, then you’ll know, and you will learn from mistakes. I don’t know what your business is, but I am assuming that no bridges will fall down and no babies will die if you just take a step back.

Whatever ideas you have about how someone else would be doing way better in this situation are wrong. There is only you, right now, and it is up to you to take control.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a team of seasoned, expert professionals in a fast-growing global company. My boss has told me in no uncertain terms that my biggest priority in the next year is to develop my team and groom a successor.

My biggest obstacle is, although every one of my team members is very good at their job, not a single one of them seems to have any idea how to rise above their day-to-day and see the bigger picture. I’ll give you an example of how this shows up.

I recently gave one of my people—I’ll call her Sharna—the opportunity to present to our executive team, which my boss is part of. It didn’t go well. I laid out the requirements for the presentation, which was two weeks away. I gave her clear direction on what the ET would want to hear about and what and how to think about it going in. I offered as much support as I thought she would need.

The meeting was scheduled for a Monday afternoon. She sent me her initial draft the prior Friday afternoon. I gave her feedback over the weekend and she sent me her final deck a couple of hours before go time.

I knew it wasn’t going to meet the ET’s expectations, but it was so close to the meeting that I thought it would do more harm than good (in terms of her confidence) to get her to make changes at that point. I did provide a few comments and she made some last-minute edits, but there were still typos and some repetition. It wasn’t up to standard at all.

My boss was not happy—and he, quite rightly, blamed me. But Sharna is a seasoned professional and an expert in her field. She had delivered much higher quality work in the past, and I had no reason to think I couldn’t trust her. Did I really need to express to her more clearly how important the presentation was? I thought it was glaringly obvious.

This is just one example. I guess I am expecting all of my people to be able to understand things that I see as self-evident. How do I to get them to think more strategically? I have to somehow get them out of the weeds—but I don’t want to turn them into versions of myself.

My People Are in the Weeds

____________________________________________________________________________

Dear My People Are in the Weeds,

Oh dear, this is a can of worms. Essentially, the leadership competency you need to build is Developing Others. As Stan Slap has said (I am paraphrasing; he is so witty), most leaders would prefer to go where they need to go by themselves and then send a postcard to their people saying “wish you were here”—because it’s so much work and so time consuming to get people to see your vision and help them walk the path you need them to walk! The problem is you simply can’t do it all yourself, which is what your boss is trying to get you to see. You must shift from doing everything yourself to getting things done with and through others.

If your people could see what you see, they would have your job. It sounds like you might suffer from a condition I, too, have, which is that if something is obvious to me, I assume it is obvious to everyone else. Big mistake.

So you and your people all need to develop some new skills. On top of the 24/7 scrum of day-to-day work, it feels like a lot. Because it is.

For you, this will mean getting crystal clear about your expectations. And don’t stop repeating them until you see evidence that each person not only understands them but also has a plan to figure out how to meet them.

This will require patience and diligence on your part. Expect it to be tedious. You are addressing people who have been successful their entire careers because of their subject matter expertise and their ability to get things done. You are asking them to think differently and step out of their comfort zone, which takes practice. And it is scary for people when they are asked to try new things they know they aren’t good at.

To help them think bigger picture, your people need to understand what the executive leadership team is thinking about, their immediate concerns, the problems they are trying to solve, and the threats they see coming at the organization that are keeping them up at night. If your CEO is not sharing all of that intel regularly, it really is your job to relay anything you know to your team. The more you do that on a regular basis, the more your people will develop the habit of paying attention to how their job connects to the bigger picture. You just cannot expect them to tear their eyeballs away from their day-to-day tasks and look to the horizon unless you are directing their gaze there.

Regarding the presentation, I agree that the lack of thoughtfulness and preparation was clearly not where it needed to be. We all know that there is simply no substitute for preparation and time to iterate and practice. You might just get curious and check in with Sharna with some questions. Something along the lines of: “What happened? I expected more preparation and for you to allow time for iteration and you came in hot. Is there something going on I should know about?”

Is it possible she has an issue with presentation skills? Subject matter expertise is critical, of course, but taking into consideration who is in the audience, what they need to take away from the presentation, and how they prefer to consume information is a whole skill in itself. You might turn her on to the work of Nancy Duarte, who helps people master the art of using data to tell a story and shape information so that it connects to their chosen audience. She has multiple excellent books and workshops.

I hear your concern about not wanting to micromanage people so they simply parrot what you want them to say. I have heard this from many leaders. But here’s the thing: If people knew how to do what you want them to do, they would be doing it. So be specific about what you want, teach them if you have to, and stay alongside them until they can fly solo. They are still going to be themselves and bring their own strengths to the party as they get more comfortable with the task. Don’t worry about turning people into mini-me’s – it won’t happen, I promise.

You are obviously a pro, a high achiever, and a hard worker. You can do this if you think it is important enough.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I recently joined the executive team of my organization as an interim VP. I am pretty sure I will end up with this role because I have been getting great feedback and no one has the time or brain space for yet another search and hiring cycle. I love the job and feel that I am getting my head around it.

The executive team is a mix of both long-tenured guys who know the business but aren’t innovating, and go-getters like me. My problem is that there is only one other woman on the team—I’ll call her Jane—who, for reasons I can’t understand, behaves as if she’s everyone’s servant.

I have worked with Jane in the past and find her super competent, straightforward, and inspiring. I know many members of her team and everyone loves working for her. However, in executive team meetings, all of the VPs and EVPs treat her as if she is their administrative assistant. She has far more seniority than some of the others on the team, including an EVP. Detailed tasks that should really be taken by other individuals end up on her plate.

Just yesterday, one of the VPs (who has a reputation for being Teflon with responsibilities) actually turned to her and said, “I’m not very good at that. Jane, would you mind taking that ball and running with it?” And she said, “Sure.” I almost said something. I know how hard Jane works. I am confused as to why she is taking on tasks that really don’t belong to her. It’s clear she is being taken advantage of.

I want to convince her to push back and stand up for herself. It is driving me crazy. What to do?

Desperate to Help

______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Desperate to Help,

I can see how that might be frustrating. I don’t know that I would have had the self-regulation to not say something. There are a couple of things to think about here.

First, you might want to wait until you are appointed to the VP role before you do anything to rock the boat. Being interim means you are still being closely monitored for fit to the team and making waves is not advisable. This doesn’t apply as much when it comes to your stances on strategic decisions—your peers need to see how you arrive at your positions, how you think, the extent to which you do your homework and are properly informed, and whether or not your values are aligned with those of the organization. But interfering with existing team dynamics is risky business. You will want to be in a secure position before you take that on.

Once you have the job for sure, confirm your read on the situation. See what you can find out about the history of team and how Jane got her VP role. Perhaps she actually started out as the secretary or executive admin for the team. Old habits die hard! It’s also possible she volunteered to be the task rabbit for everyone. Of course, neither may be true, but you just don’t know—asking Jane a few questions might be a good place to start.

If, in fact, it turns out none of this is true and the men have figured out Jane is a pleaser who will keep letting them dump a bunch of tedious work on her, the next step for you is to have a candid conversation with Jane. It isn’t your responsibility to save her from herself, but you can point out what you are observing—fresh eyes see dynamics that everyone else has become inured to. You can share your observation and then ask more pertinent questions.

I guess it is possible that Jane doesn’t mind. I find that hard to believe, but hey, each to her own. If Jane does mind, you could help her hatch a plan to start pushing back. She might want to have a separate conversation with each man on the team instead of causing confusion by abruptly changing her servile ways . You could help her rehearse what she might say. Setting boundaries is excruciatingly difficult for most people and impossible for some, so practice is important.

The reason we sometimes don’t set boundaries is that the only things we can think of saying are personal and judgy and could ruin a relationship. And then the moment passes, and that’s that—an opportunity to put a stop to shenanigans missed.

The key is to simply state the facts, free of defensiveness, blame, or judgment:

You can also be alert and ready to role model this behavior if somebody on the team tries to pull the same thing with you. It doesn’t sound like anyone has done this yet, but it can’t hurt to be prepared. People who habitually take advantage of others seem to have radar for those who will comply without fuss. I know several people—both males and females—who figure that if they can delegate, why not? So be ready. The first test will send the message that you are no Jane.

Many people are pleasers and love to use their skills to help others. It can be really tricky when people rise to executive levels and they are still getting the need to please met—it is a sure path to burnout. Whatever happens with Jane, it is ultimately up to her to decide for herself what she is and is not willing to put up with—and what, if anything, she can do about it. I appreciate that you are annoyed by what you think is a gross injustice and want to be a spokesperson for shifting gender dynamics. But in the end, all you really can do is make sure you are adding value and taking responsibility for your own relationships with members of the team.

Some battles just aren’t yours to fight. I am sure you have plenty of your own ahead of you.

I hope you do get the job.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dave McKeown’s new book The Self-Evolved Leader is, at its essence, a roadmap to leadership excellence. Presented in four sections, this practical handbook guides leaders along the journey, covering everything from building a foundation of effective leadership to sustaining their newfound skills.

McKeown believes leaders are caught in a cycle of mediocrity—and he says it’s time to break that cycle by stepping up to lead with authenticity and purpose.

In the book’s first section, the author says leaders need to stop trying to be heroes who step in and take care of everything. He encourages them instead to equip and empower their people to manage day-to-day projects. This allows time for self-evolved leaders to focus on long-term strategies for their teams and organizations. Leaders must spend less time taking care of little details and more time developing, inspiring, and encouraging their staff.

In section two, McKeown introduces three key actions that aspiring self-evolved leaders must take:

• They must create a compelling team vision that aligns with the corporate vision. This provides alignment and purpose for the team.
• They must develop an implementation plan that brings the team vision to life. This plan must be clear to everyone and must come with a design—a pulse—to proactively track the team’s progress. This pulse provides focus so that the team can stay on track as it advances toward the goal.
• They must develop a discipline for focusing on their own tasks while empowering team members to perform at their highest levels.

Learning how to master leadership discipline is the focus of section three. McKeown offers specific guidelines that show leaders how to facilitate the workflow of their team while still concentrating on their own goals and tasks. He recognizes that leaders sometimes take on tasks they should delegate to direct reports because it is faster to do the task themselves. But self-evolved leaders understand that time invested in delegating and teaching is worth it. It not only adds to the skill set of the direct report, it also allows the leader to remain focused on leadership strengths they bring to the overall team effort.

Section four offers leaders advice for sustaining their new skills and continuing to make improvements in their leadership practices. Ultimately, McKeown advises leaders to take control of the things they can control—and not fall victim to the things they can’t.

The Self-Evolved Leader is a guidebook for changing the way you lead. It is rooted in decades of experience and filled with wisdom and simple techniques that will help any leader become a self-evolved leader.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Dave McKeown, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Dave McKeown, go to www.selfevolvedleader.com or www.davemckeown.com.

“So many of us are dealing with changes to our work routines. It’s generating a mountain of new requests and tasks that require us to get things done using new guidelines, practices, and procedures,” says bestselling business author Dr. Vicki Halsey, VP of Applied Learning at The Ken Blanchard Companies.

“Leaders need to: (1) be sure direct reports are clear on what they have to do; (2) work with each of them to diagnose where they are on each task; and (3) get them the resources they need to succeed,” explains Halsey. “Managers need to be as clear as possible about what a good job looks like.

This can be more difficult than it seems on the surface—for example, when there are conflicting priorities. Managers are often asked to hit output quotas at a high level of quality but under a certain budget. In a call center, this might translate to workers being urged to solve every customer’s problem the first time they call while also maintaining a call volume of more than 20 calls answered per hour. That’s a huge challenge. The best organizations get clear on what is most important and set specific, trackable, and attainable goals while striving to maintain motivation and avoid burnout.”

Once goals are set, leaders need to be attentive to each individual’s level of competence and commitment for the new task or new way of doing things. Diagnosing development level is key, says Halsey.

“Help people see where they are on a specific task in terms of ability and motivation, which we describe as competence and commitment. A person can be high or low on either scale. When these measurements are combined, the person will end up at one of four development levels such as Disillusioned Learner (low on commitment, low on competence) and Self-Reliant Achiever (high on commitment, high on competence).

“As a leader, you need to listen and observe very carefully. If the person is a learner, you help solve the problem for them. If they’ve had some demonstrable success but they’re a little hesitant, you flip the conversation and ask them how they think they should solve the problem.”

Halsey says in all cases, the leader must stay involved.

“If you leave people alone, that’s when they will move the task to the next day’s to-do list. If you want to keep accelerating their performance, you have to stay with them. Are they letting you know their status on a task, or have they gone silent? Go and check with them. If you notice you’re not seeing the person as much as you used to, you need to connect with them, figure out where they’re stuck, and get them back on track.

“Your goal as a leader is to keep the conversations flowing. That’s the secret to productivity—clear goals, people aligned on performance, and being able to diagnose and then give what is needed to ensure they get the job done. When you accomplish that, you are working in a highly productive, aligned manner,” says Halsey. “That’s good for you, your people, and your organization!”

Would you like to learn more about helping the leaders in your organization have effective conversations in a changing work environment? Join us for a free webinar!

3 Performance Conversation Skills All Leaders Need to Master
Wednesday, June 10, 2020, 7:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Join Dr. Vicki Halsey for an in-depth look at the three skills today’s leaders need to master in our changing world—goal setting, diagnosing, and matching. Halsey will show you how to help your leaders diagnose people’s development levels on new tasks and goals and how to provide the proper amounts of direction and support to get people up to speed quickly. You’ll explore how leaders can:

• Structure new goals, tasks, and processes for team members
• Diagnose a direct report’s current development level for mastering a new skill
• Provide a matching leadership style with the right amount of direction and support

Don’t miss this opportunity to get people performing at a high level quickly in a changing world.

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Dear Madeleine,

I am an attorney in a government office. I was just promoted and have inherited four new direct reports. Although I have trained interns in the past, I am feeling overwhelmed with the fact that I still have my full time job and am now managing people. My first week was essentially all meetings, and I had to go home and work another full day to stay on top of my own work. How on earth do people do this?

It feels like, instead of a promotion, I now have …

Two Jobs

Dear Two Jobs,

You feel like you have two jobs because you do. The days of middle managers who get to just manage and not have a full workload of their own deliverables are long gone. I have never met anyone in your position who didn’t feel overwhelmed pretty much all the time.

My first recommendation is to get used to choosing what is less important so that you can focus on the most critical tasks. It will take a while to get used to this, especially if you are the kind of person who needs to check off everything on their list.

There are a ton of books written specifically for folks in your position—and, as a matter of fact, we have a training program designed exactly for you. So you can add a book or three to your towering pile, or beg your leadership to send you to a class. I recommend both. In the meantime, I will give you my first-time manager survival kit.

• Get clear about your key deliverables: Make sure your leader has been clear about what a good job looks like. Ask them to list their top five priorities in order of importance. Don’t try to guess. Research shows that when managers and direct reports are asked separately to make a list of their top five priorities, there is only about 25% agreement. Also, some things just aren’t going to get done. So make sure you are focused on the most critical things.

• Arrange for the same clarity in your entire department: Do the “top five” exercise with each of your direct reports. Ask yourself whether each of them knows exactly what is expected of them—what you think is most important. Of course, to do that, you have to decide what is most important. You are going to say “It’s all important,” and I am going to say “Yes—and some things are more important than others.”

• Arrange for resources: Once your reports have clarity about each of their goals and tasks, make sure they have what they need to deliver on those tasks.

• Be religious about having one-on-ones with each of your people. You can do this weekly or bi-weekly, but you must do it. Make sure each of your direct reports knows this is their time to discuss their agenda. Encourage them to send you an agenda in advance so they are forced to organize their thoughts prior to the meeting. This will set them up to get the most out of their time alone with you.

• Be ruthless about eliminating, delegating, and shortening meetings. Examine the meetings you are in. There are two kinds of meetings: the ones you don’t call (which you have very little control over) and the ones you do call. Decide if it is humanly possible to send someone else to the meetings you do not call. Sometimes it can be a way to develop another person on your team: task them with taking excellent notes and reporting back anything you need to know.

Meetings you call, you rule. Make sure there is a crystal clear agenda and focus relentlessly on the outcomes you seek. Keep a list of tangential issues that crop up and don’t let your group get off track. Shorten all meetings: most hour-long meetings can really be done in 40 minutes.

• Do not accept tasks someone else can do. You have enough on your plate! If someone else has the competence and skills to do something, give it away.

You are going to feel overwhelmed for awhile, Two Jobs, and that’s okay. You’ll settle in and be fine—just remember that you are in charge now, and that means making hard decisions about where your focus goes and how you invest every precious minute of your time.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am uber conscientious and a perfectionist—and I can’t seem to stop. I was promoted a year ago and have a very professional and trustworthy team, but I am addicted to reviewing everyone’s work and making small edits and changes. I am staying way too late at the office and my husband is getting really annoyed with me. I know I’m overworking—but maybe more critically, I’m focused on the wrong things. I’m not paying enough attention to the tasks that are going to advance me professionally.

I know intellectually that I can’t dot every I and cross every T, but I just don’t know how to change. I keep telling myself I’m going to do things differently, but I just continue these compulsive behaviors. I’ve never found myself in this kind of situation. I used to be much more adaptable.

What do you suggest?

Stuck

Dear Stuck,

It sounds like you’re in a hard place where your behavior is causing you real suffering. The good news is that your self-awareness is breathtaking, so you have that going for you. One of two things is going on here: you are simply stuck in a big fat rut that you can succeed in blasting yourself out of, or you’re going to need some professional help to get back on an even keel.

There’s no shame in getting help. If your company has an employee assistance program, I’d highly recommend that you take advantage of it. Just a couple of sessions with a trained therapist might do you a lot of good. I’m not implying there is anything wrong with you—but you sound overwhelmed and unhappy. I don’t think it would hurt to talk things through and get some perspective.

On your own, you can do a few things immediately to shift your situation.

First, stop. Just stop. Your brain has gotten into the habit of being on an endless loop, and you have to interrupt it. Neuroscientists have a saying: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” This means you have well-worn neural pathways that make it easy for your brain to simply default to your usual way of operating. So STOP. Change your routine, change the scene, change it all up. Take a couple of vacation days and go for walks. Look at a horizon. Spend some time in nature. These aren’t just nice-to-haves—they all have been proven to change brain chemistry.

Next, make a list of all the habits you have created (most of which have made you successful, by the way) that need to change. It feels counterintuitive, but it is critical. You have to stop doing things that don’t serve you, so you can start doing things that do serve you. This sounds shockingly obvious, right? And yet—not everything that is simple is easy. If you want to learn more about the way we create and undo habits, you can read up on it here.

As you look to undo habits that aren’t serving you, remember that you can’t change everything at once. Prioritize the one or two things you want to stop or start that will make the biggest impact on your work processes. Maybe it is simply making a commitment to stop checking your people’s work. For example, you could announce that you will no longer be checking certain kinds of work. You can tell your team that you realize you have been overdoing the control thing, and it’s time to stop. Make sure they all understand your standards for what a good job looks like. (Please note: I don’t mean this has to be the first thing you do; it is just an example.)

Be sure to enlist others. You’ll need some support to make the changes you want to make. Discuss the situation with your manager if you can. Ask for a coach if that is possible. Enlist the help of a good friend you trust who knows you. It can be hard, but you should ask for exactly what you want and need.

Remember your past success. You know you have changed and have been adaptable in the past—you might think about looking back on what has helped you before. Self-awareness is the first step and you have that. Don’t stop there. You can do this, Stuck. You have done it before, and you can do it again. Take a step back, take a deep breath, get some perspective, set your goals, decide what to change, enlist others, and get help where you can. Help is available to you, and help is good.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I have a long-time employee named Tom who has more than 25 years’ experience in our field—but he totally lacks confidence. He is very timid in response to questions from other less experienced professionals on staff. He doesn’t take the lead even when it’s in his area of expertise. For example, recently one of Tom’s direct reports told him he couldn’t do something that was well within his scope and ability to decide. He listened and didn’t do what he wanted to do, then told me about the situation.

He doesn’t take initiative to get things done. He is always contacting me for little things such as telephone numbers that he can easily obtain from other people or records. In meetings with our staff, he contributes very little and doesn’t seem comfortable with the give and take.

What do I do? I don’t like to micromanage, but he is taking up a lot of my time and energy.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Don’t you feel bad for someone who has so little confidence? I sure do. You have to wonder what on earth happened to your timid, skittish employee to make him so uncertain—not that speculation will get us anywhere.

I highly recommend that you consider using the model our company has been teaching for over 35 years. It is called SLII®. The goal of SLII® is to match your leadership style to an individual’s development level on a task. Learning how to do this requires the ability to diagnose a person’s development level and deliver the right leadership style (one of four) for each situation.

When you match your leadership style to the individual’s development level, their competence, motivation, and confidence grow. On the other hand, over-supervising or under-supervising can have a negative impact on performance, confidence and motivation.

While SLII® may be considered common sense, it is not common practice. Only 1% of managers use all four leadership styles. SLII® teaches leaders how to manage the development of individuals, which allows the leader to stay in close touch with each person’s performance.

What does this mean to you? It means you have to break down all of Timid Tom’s tasks and goals and assess the extent to which he needs more direction to eventually fly solo, or whether he simply needs a boost in confidence. You can share with him that your goal is to help him feel exceptionally competent and confident so that he can trust his own judgment. To get more detail on the topic, you can download this white paper. Once you have a clear sense of Tom’s tasks and goals, you can discuss with him what he needs and agree on how to move forward.

So once again, this is a hard conversation—but in this case, it is a planning one. Then it will be regular 1×1 check-ins where you review all Tom’s tasks and goals and make sure you are providing the right leadership style for each one. You can share the SLII® model and white papers with him and remind him that your intention is to have his back and help him be successful in his job. He may never be a superhero, but with enough focused attention on the right things, he should become more independent.

If you provide Tom with the right leadership style at the right time for a significant period of time (say six months) and there is still no change, you may have to resign yourself to the fact that he is either in the wrong job or simply not psychologically strong enough to rise to the occasion. It happens. At that point you will have to make a decision about what to do.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I missed a back to school event for my kids last night. My wife called to ask where I was, and I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to be there. I saw it on my calendar and then it was gone from my mind.

My wife is really mad because I have blown through several commitments in the last few months. She is convinced I have an adult attention deficit disorder, but I don’t think so. I am just behind at work and cracks are beginning to show. I feel like I am just going in circles playing whack-a-mole. I might as well just whack myself on the head for all the good I am doing.

I have been stressed at work before, but this is a whole new level of crazy. Help?

Dropping the Ball

Dear Dropping the Ball,

A medical condition is a possibility, but I wonder if it isn’t more that you are overwhelmed by your commitments, the errors you are making are throwing you more off balance, and you are caught in a downward spiral.

Certainly you should look into seeing if you need real professional help. But while you are doing that, you have to stop the downward spiral. Just stop. Stop the crazy, turn the volume down on the noise, take a big step back, take a breath. I am going to give you step-by-step directions because you can’t think straight.

1. Get the book The 10 Natural Laws of Time and Life Management: Proven Strategies for Increased Productivity and Inner Peace by Hyrum Smith. Read it. It is an oldie but goodie. I am a time management method junkie and I have followed all of the gurus—but in my opinion, no one has topped Hyrum Smith. I read his book when it first came out and it honestly changed my life. Why not go to the best source for getting your head on straight about the absolute reality of the space/time continuum? You clearly have been a time optimist. This, combined with your desire to please everyone in your life, has resulted in chaos. Mr. Smith will help you cut it out.
2. Once you have read the book and decided what is most important to you, make a plan. Tell your boss you’re going to take two days off, then turn off your phone and take a big step back so you can think. Go somewhere no one will bother you—your local library, perhaps—and bring markers and flip chart paper. Now make a mind map of all the critical areas of your life: your health, your relationship with your wife, your relationship with your kids, other important relationships with friends and family, your job, your career, your craft, your spiritual life, your finances, etc. As you do this, all of the tasks you have to do, commitments you have made, and things you really want to do will bubble up. Write those next to each area. Get everything out of your head onto the mind map. This will help you get some perspective and it will stop the static in your head. If you need to do two maps, one for your job and another for your personal life, so be it. Decide which items are most critical and put them on a timeline/calendar and a to-do list. Decide which items are not as critical, and decide which ones you can dump. Everything else is negotiable.
3. Once you have achieved a modicum of calm and clarity, go talk to your boss about your priorities and what they see as most important. Show them your mind map or to-do list so they can see that what is being asked of you is simply not reasonable.
4. Say no to any new request unless you can be absolutely certain that you can deliver. Adopt the mantra “I under-promise and over-deliver.”
5. Review the tools or habits you can test out and possibly adopt—for example, starting a mindfulness practice, blocking 15 minutes every morning to make your to-do list for the day, or setting reminder alarms on your phone. All of these are habits of people with high productivity.

If this is the first time you have been this far off your game, you are probably fine. But you do need to recalibrate for the fact that your life is bigger than it has ever been—and probably gearing up to get even bigger. So step back, get a grip, and reclaim your life.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I work as a subject matter expert on sales and implementation teams for integrated software. I get pulled into all kinds of teams. I am constantly being told to join new teams and I feel like I’m doing most of the work on the teams I am already a part of. My problem seems to be that I am too useful for my own good.

In theory, I’m supposed to advise on what to propose and on implementation strategies. In fact, I am often stuck with scheduling and leading client meetings—which is not in my job description—as well as writing proposals and plans. The people who are supposed to do those jobs always say “You are so much better at this than I am; why don’t you do it?” Often these people are technically senior to me and I don’t know how to say no.

I don’t want to be that person who says “It isn’t my job” and have people say I am not a team player. I would go to my manager, but she doesn’t really understand my job and hasn’t taken any interest in me. I’m working too many hours and it is getting to the point where my performance on my own job—the tasks I am actually responsible for—is suffering. Help?

Victim of My Own Success

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Victim of My Own Success,

Sigh. It would be so much easier for you if you weren’t that smart and dependable. If you just did mediocre work and missed deadlines, no one would ask you for anything. We tend to think the reward for great work is acknowledgment, promotion, and more money, but in fact, the reward for doing great work is more work!

At least you understand the role you have played in getting yourself to where you are. It is time to turn the ship, though, before you either have some kind of burnout response or become unable to manage your resentment at being taken advantage of.

You could really use your manager’s support and influence right now, so it is up to you to help her understand your job and get her to be interested in you. How to do that? Go at it directly. Go to her and say “Hey, I really need your help. This is my job, this is what I am up to, this is my problem, and this is the kind of help I need.” Your manager is probably doing what most managers do: focusing most of her attention on the low performers and ignoring the high performers. She can only ignore you if you allow her to.

In the meantime, you are on your own. So repeat after me:

“No.”

Say it 10 more times: “No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”

Articulate for yourself what your actual responsibilities are. Make it so clear that you have it in bullets. Next time someone tries to push something onto your to-do list that doesn’t belong there, be ready with something like: “My area of responsibility is A, B, and C. I am committed to doing those things. Everything else is up to someone else on the team.” Practice saying this out loud with a nice, neutral tone. Be ready to repeat it. This way, you aren’t stuck saying a bold “No.”

Now be prepared for big, uncomfortable silences—silences you’re probably in the habit of jumping into with your desire to get things done and be good. Let somebody else jump in. Keep your hand over your mouth. Breathe.

If someone senior to you won’t let it go, be prepared with something like: “I will not be able to do what you are asking. I have priority commitments to other teams.” Practice a bunch of different ways of saying “I am not able to do that” in a kind and neutral way.

Stand up for yourself. No one will do it for you. It will be hard at first, but it will get easier.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“I don’t have enough hours in the day to get my work done.”

It’s a common complaint I hear from my coaching clients—especially those who are newer to a management role. Very often when we are talking about their workload I notice that they are taking on “monkeys” that aren’t theirs.

Monkeys? you might be thinking. What? Several years ago, Ken Blanchard coauthored a book with William Oncken, Jr. and Hal Burrows called The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey. The “monkey” represents the ownership or responsibility for an unsolved problem or an incomplete task.

Let me give you an oversimplified example—one I sometimes share with my coaching clients—about taking on monkeys. Picture this:

A manager is in their office trying to work on their strategic plan for next year. One of their direct reports drops by. The direct report says, “Hey boss, I can’t get hold of Steve to get the numbers for the report I’m compiling for next week’s off-site meeting.” (This is the unsolved problem or incomplete task.) The boss says something like, “Well leave it with me and I’ll try to reach Steve.” In an instant, the boss has taken on the direct report’s “monkey.” The direct report skips down the hall with that monkey off their back. Over the course of a day, this happens with other direct reports. Soon the manager is weighed down with monkeys and no longer has time to work on their own strategic plan.

More often than not, the person I’m coaching relates to this and sees themselves in the story. The question follows: What to do?

Here are a couple of strategies I’ve developed with my clients as they learn to deal with their own office monkeys.

Slow down and reflect. When a direct report drops by with a problem, ask yourself whose problem, job, or task it is. Most of the time, the problem belongs to the direct report.

Ask a few open-ended questions. Help the direct report think through the situation. For example, ask, “How are you reaching out to Steve? Might there be another way?” Maybe the direct report is emailing Steve when it might be better to pick up the phone or go by and see Steve. Another question might be, “If you can’t reach Steve, what are other ways you can get the data?” If more help is needed, you could brainstorm with the direct report to figure out other options. Helping them think things through will often get things moving and keep the monkey firmly with its owner—the direct report.

Make sure your direct report knows their next move. Before the conversation is over, confirm the action the direct report is going to take with their monkey so you can get back to your own work.

I’m not proposing that managers abdicate their responsibility for providing direction and support. I’m just suggesting that managers help direct reports find ways to solve their own problems and tasks.

The reality is that consistently following this procedure will help your direct reports grow into self-reliance—which makes this a win-win situation for everybody!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

About three months ago, I was promoted to COO in my organization. I wasn’t expecting it—a lot of changes happened at once. A large group of people were fired and the next thing I knew I was COO.

I have no real senior leadership experience, but here is the crazy thing: I’m pretty sure I can do this. I’m super organized and I have an exhaustive knowledge of the mechanics of the organization. My problem is that when I try to prioritize on what to tackle first, I get completely overwhelmed. I’m not sure where to start.

I thought about asking my new team, but they seem as mystified as I am about what I’m doing in this role. I really don’t want to reveal my ignorance to them but at the same time I don’t want my boss to lose faith in me. Any ideas would be helpful.

Unexpected Success

Dear Unexpected Success,

It’s obvious your boss also thinks you can do this—so you should absolutely play hard, and play to win. You have some leadership experience and you will figure out the senior part. You have nothing to lose.

Thomas Leonard, my mentor and a pioneer of the coaching profession, says, “Anything worth doing is worth getting help with.” The first order of business is to get help. The fastest way to bomb out would be for you to try to do too much, too fast, all by yourself. Do you have anyone from your past work life you might call to mentor you? Are there any COOs in your industry you could reach out to for advice? I suggest you hire a very experienced executive coach—someone with whom you can discuss everything you need to work through in total confidentiality. Your organization will probably pay for it. Also, lobby for an assistant to help manage your time and keep you focused. The more support you can get for yourself right now, the better off you will be.

Sit down with your boss and ask them to outline your top three to five priorities. Decide what you can do in what time frame and check it in writing with your boss so there is no misunderstanding. Focus only on your boss’s priorities and on building support for your leadership.

To succeed as a leader you need your team to trust you. Begin by spending what will feel like precious time getting to know each member of your team so that you can understand their strengths, experience, and expertise. The more you can empower them with crystal-clear goals to lead their own teams, the more you will be able to get done. Build trust and connectivity with your team by creating and sharing your Leadership Point of View.

You also need to understand your peers and your unofficial influencers in the organization. Create a relationship map to identify all of the critical players in your organization, and make a concerted effort to get to know them and understand their goals. Build a coalition of support by helping others achieve their goals and leveraging their help to achieve yours.

Once you have some clarity about your priorities, are moving toward your goals, and have started to build your network of support, then you can worry about building your own strategic point of view and influencing as a strategic leader. That day will come after your very high functioning operational machine is built.

You have a rare opportunity to take advantage of an odd situation. If you can keep your wits about you, get the right help, and stay grounded, you will be fine. Better than fine—great!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Most people will tell you they are working as hard as they can, says bestselling business author Vicki Halsey. “The problem is, they still aren’t able to keep up with the workload. Today, people need to work smarter, not harder,” says Halsey.

“That means leaders need to (1) be sure direct reports are clear on what they have to do; (2) diagnose where they are on each task; and (3) get them the resources they need to succeed. People are doing activities—and lots of them. But the activity may not be targeted toward the critical goal, task, skill, or strategy that is actually needed for the organization to hit the target.”

According to Halsey, productivity improvement begins with observation. She likes to compare behaviors of the most productive people in organizations and the ones who struggle to keep up. One difference is that the former group has a laser focus on the work that needs to be done to achieve strategic goals.

“As Ken Blanchard says, all good performance begins with clear goals. So begin with clear expectations such as what someone needs to achieve, and by when. This is the essence of smart goal setting. Your goal is to create a crystal clear picture of what a good job looks like.”

It’s also important to check for understanding, says Halsey.

“As we think about setting clear expectations with people, it’s important to remember our differences in communication and learning styles. I teach a graduate class at the University of San Diego and also gave the same learning preference survey to my MBA students that measures if they are visual, auditory, kinesthetic, tactile kinesthetic, or auditory verbal. Results from students representing 35 different cohorts showed only 5.4 percent in the category of strong auditory learners. Consider going beyond telling—to showing. For example, in addition to explaining what a good job looks like, provide a video so that learners can actually see the behavior in action.”

Once goals are set, next comes diagnosing competence and commitment, says Halsey.

“Help people see where they are on a specific task in terms of ability and motivation, which we at The Ken Blanchard Companies® describe as competence and commitment. A person can be high or low on either scale. When these measurements are combined, the person will end up in one of four different development levels including Disillusioned Learner (low on commitment, low on competence) and Self-Reliant Achiever (high on commitment, high on competence.)

With an accurate diagnosis, a leader can put together a clear plan to accelerate the person’s productivity, says Halsey. But it requires a rethinking of the SMART goal setting model.

“I love the SMART acronym—Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Trackable. But for it to be most effective, change the “M” in the model to motivating instead of measurable.

“People want to see the impact of their work and they want to know they are making a difference. The original version of SMART begins with Specific and Measurable, which works well for identifying what needs to occur by when. But it doesn’t take into account the very human need of doing work aligned with our purpose, values, and who we want to be in the world.

“Sometimes leaders wonder why they should care how committed a direct report is to a task. When I am training a group of leaders and I hear that, I ask, ‘How many of you have something on your to-do list that you’re not motivated to do?’ Everyone raises their hand! And what happens to those things on our to-do lists? They go to tomorrow’s to-do list. And the next day’s. And what does that do to productivity? It impacts the quality and quantity of work done. So it’s critical that a leader has a very finely tuned sense of observation. They are observing their direct reports either moving toward what needs to happen, or moving away from it.”

That’s the commitment part of the equation, says Halsey—but remember it is critical to also diagnose competence.

“In its simplest definition, competence answers the question Has a person done this before successfully? If a direct report is new to a task with very little experience, the leader will need to provide a lot of direction and access to resources. If the person has accomplished the task successfully with high levels of reliability, the leader can delegate the task to them confidently. If the person is somewhere in between, the leader needs to adjust the mix of direction and support to match the person’s development level.

“So as a leader, you listen and observe very carefully. If the person is a learner, you help solve the problem for them. If they’ve had some demonstrable success but they’re a little hesitant, you flip the conversation and ask them how they think they should solve the problem.”

Halsey says in all cases, the leader needs to stay involved.

“If you leave people alone, that’s when they will move the task to the next day’s to-do list. If you want to keep accelerating their performance, you have to stay with it. Are they letting you know their status on a task, or have they gone dark? Go and check with them. If you notice you’re not seeing the person as much as you used to, you need to connect with them, figure out where they’re stuck, and get them back on track.

“Your goal as a leader is to keep the conversations flowing. That’s the secret to productivity—clear goals, people aligned on performance, and being able to diagnose then give what is needed to ensure they get the job done. When you accomplish that, you begin to work in a highly productive, aligned manner,” says Halsey. “That’s good for you, your people, and your organization!”

Would you like to learn more about creating a culture of high productivity in your organization? Join us for a free webinar!

3 Keys to Creating a High Productivity Work Culture
Tuesday, April 30, 2019, 9:00 – 10:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Research shows that most organizations operate at only 65 percent of their potential productivity. In this webinar, bestselling business author Vicki Halsey shows leadership, learning, and talent development professionals how to reduce the productivity gap in their organizations by improving the performance management skills of their leaders. Halsey will share how to improve leadership skills in three key areas:

• Collaborative goal setting—how leaders create a partnership approach that improves accountability and gets results
• Diagnosing development level—how leaders identify the skills and motivation level of a person being asked to take on a new task
• Providing a matching leadership style—how leaders flex the amount of direction and support they provide to create the perfect environment for goal achievement

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to equip leaders with the skills they need to align and coach people to higher levels of performance and productivity. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Register today!

Dear Madeleine,

I am serious person. I was a serious child, raised by very thoughtful and serious immigrant parents. I have always had high expectations and standards for myself.

I am now a manager of a large group of people and I am continually frustrated that almost none of them live up to my expectations. The typos in people’s emails make me tense and it is almost impossible for me to point out the mistakes without being mean.

I am in a constant state of agitation, with an equal amount of energy going into self-regulation. I know I should let people be themselves and be more accepting, and that most errors ultimately don’t really matter.

I am trying to be more at peace, and in fact, I have started a mindfulness program. But I keep circling back to taking it personally when my people turn in substandard work or miss deadlines.

How can I stop being so rigid?

Too Serious

Dear Too Serious,

You are who you are. It’s a combination of nature and nurture—and no matter how hard you try, you are not going to achieve a personality transplant. I know. I have been trying my entire conscious life.

Your foray into mindfulness training is an excellent step. Mindfulness is defined by researchers as “self-regulation of attention so that it is maintained on immediate experience thereby allowing for increased recognition of mental events in the present moment,” and “adopting a particular orientation toward one’s experiences in the present moment, an orientation that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.” *

The practice of curiosity, openness, and acceptance will help you to relax a little bit. However, you are still going to wake up tomorrow and be yourself. So here is another idea.

Clearly, thoroughly, and honestly, share with your people who you are, what you expect from them, and what they can expect from you.

At our company we call this sharing your Leadership Point of View (LPoV). In essence, it is an examination of your leadership values—the values that inform your standards for yourself and others. These often come from your parent role models, but also from the observation of leaders you admire and from your own life experiences.

In your LPoV you tell the very human stories that explain and give context for your leadership standards. This information will help your people to understand you better and to know what your rules are. Almost everybody wants to make their boss happy, so giving them the very clear roadmap of how to do that is usually appreciated.

The act of creating your Leadership Point of View will help you to define, for yourself and others, what you will insist on and where you are willing to let things slide. You already know which battles aren’t worth fighting. Making it explicit for yourself will help you choose when to give feedback and when it just doesn’t matter.

When you present your LPoV, you share these expectations explicitly. Right now, your expectations are probably mostly implicit, and you are hoping your people will read your mind.

Instead, spell it out. For example, as surmised from your message to me, you could share:

• I expect all written communication to be well organized and free of errors.
• I expect all team members to meet deadlines, or, if this is not possible, to re-negotiate deadlines before the actual deadline.

Our coaches and I have worked on LPoV with countless clients and it makes a big difference for them. I use it myself and I share it in writing whenever I onboard a new employee. It will feel very risky to you, but do it.

On the topic of taking things personally, I am reminded of a book by Don Miguel Ruiz titled The Four Agreements. It is essentially a code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom that can help to unwind deep seated self-limiting beliefs. In short, the Four Agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

You are probably already impeccable with your word, and clearly doing your best. However, you are taking too much personally, and you are almost certainly making assumptions.

Mr. Ruiz’s prescription for not taking things personally starts with a reminder that nothing is actually about you. You might share this book with your team and encourage discussion about it. A lot could change if everyone on the team agreed to use the Four Agreements as a guide.

In the meantime, keep up that mindfulness training, and breathe. Next time you are annoyed at someone around you acting like the human being they are, just take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

Craft and share your LPoV. Let your people in on how hard it is to be you. Be clear about your standards. Be persistent with holding them to your standards but also be curious, generous, and kind. They will come around.

Love, Madeleine

*Bishop, S.R., et al; “Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition”; Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, V11 N3, 2004, pp. 232

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I hear that statement all the time from my coaching clients. I get it—no one wants to be known as a boss who hovers over people and tells them what to do all the time. However, what I’ve noticed with some clients who desperately do not want to micromanage is that they often go to the other extreme and completely abdicate their leadership responsibilities.

So how does abdicating—which we also label as under-supervising—frustrate? Let’s look at one common example.

Under-supervision is most damaging when a leader says to a direct report who is unfamiliar with a task, “I know you will be fine. Just let me know when you’re done.” The direct report very likely won’t be able to do a task they haven’t been trained to do. Then, when the task becomes difficult or the person experiences some natural early failure, it’s normal for them to think, “My boss thinks I can do this. There must be something wrong with me!”

This begins a stream of negative self-talk, which can kill creativity. People in this state rarely give themselves permission to be a learner, to take risks, or to experiment with possible solutions. Isolation can also set in. People are often hesitant to reveal that they don’t know something—and are even less likely to do so if they think their boss expects them to know it.

Finally, forward motion is thwarted. When someone doesn’t know how to do something and doesn’t have anyone to guide them, they will often work on the tasks they do know how to do and set the other task aside. It appears to be human nature. I’ve witnessed people who are otherwise brilliant do this many times.

I’m convinced that abdicating behavior from a manager can be just as frustrating to a direct report as the dreaded micromanaging. The ideal balance would be to provide the right kind of leadership style depending on direct report’s development level on whatever task or goal they are working on. As Ken Blanchard says, a leader needs to “Slow down to go faster.” Here’s how it works:

1. With your direct report, articulate the goal for any assigned work. Express what a good job would look like. And this is a vital step: have your direct report repeat back to you what they heard you say about the goal and the desired objective. This will ensure you are both on the same page.
2. Next, ask the person how they would go about achieving the goal. And then really listen.
3. If they list out what they would do and it sounds like a good plan, send them on their way with your blessing. Of course, always let them know you are there if they need anything along the way.
4. On the other hand, if you hear “I’m not sure,” “I haven’t done this before,” or other statements of self-doubt, take it as a sign the person needs more supervision. Partner with them to create a plan for getting the job done—and be sure to check in with them regularly.

I always think using this style is like offering a thirsty person trekking through the desert some water. It’s giving them something they desperately need.

The hope is that a direct report who isn’t yet self-reliant on a task will grow and develop autonomy as they go forward. As the direct report develops competence and confidence doing the task, you, as the leader, can pull back on supervision.

Matching your leadership style to the specific needs of your direct reports will allow you to always correctly supervise versus under- or over-supervising. In this way, your leadership actions will always be just right!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a team lead (the youngest, thank you very much) in a fast and fun Silicon Valley startup.

Everything was fine until I was made a lead. The problem: I am just too smart. I know that sounds terrible, but it is true. I actually have an IQ of about 170, and people around me can’t keep up.

I have received feedback that I tend to push my ideas on others—and it’s true, because mine are the best ones. But I can never get anyone else to see my point of view. I am super creative and a fast thinker and I generate ideas quickly. I know I need to inspire others to join me in my vision and I also learn to respect others’ ideas more and create an environment of collaboration.

On team projects in school, I just did everybody else’s work because I couldn’t stand how slow and mediocre people were, but that isn’t going to work here. I am aware that I sound like a big jerk, but I honestly don’t know what to do about it.

Too Smart for My Own Good

Dear Too Smart,

Well, you have come to the right place. My first coaching company was devoted to creative geniuses, so I worked with a lot of people like you. I can feel your pain—not because I am like you, but because I have coached so many who are. I have a couple of ideas that may help you understand your situation and also some behaviors to try on that may help you be more effective, long term. No one wants to work for a big jerk, but everyone wants to work for someone brilliant. The good news about being such a smarty is that you can leverage your considerable intelligence to expand your repertoire of behaviors.

First, you need to understand temperament theory. Temperament theory will help you understand how you are different from others, why it matters, and what you can do about it. Your high intelligence is only part of the problem. In fact, once you understand how you need to modulate your own behavior, it will become a strength to leverage. Here are two different sources for you to go to. Each author uses different language to express the four temperaments.

David Keirsey’s site (he wrote a book called Please Understand Me):

https://www.keirsey.com/sorter/register.aspx

Linda Berens’s site:

http://lindaberens.com/resources/methodology-articles/temperament-theory/

You may very well be surrounded by people who are as smart as you but who are driven by different needs and who communicate differently than you do. I would bet money on your being a Rational temperament (Keirsey’s language). The core needs for a Rational are self-control, mastery, and competence. I created this list for a class on temperament:

You might be a Rational if you:

1. 1. Follow only the rules that make sense
   2. Often feel surrounded by idiots
   3. Have been accused of being cold
   4. Compete mostly with yourself
   5. Have a hard time when people don’t get it
   6. Were on the debate team
   7. Have a regular chess game
   8. Regularly wonder how something isn’t obvious to all
   9. Often think of work as play, when in the right job
   10. Tend to focus on the future

Sound familiar? People with Rational temperament are often seen by others as cold, condescending, unemotional, calculating, elitist, patronizing, and unrealistic.

Once you have a sense of your own temperament, you will understand the needs you are getting met with your ineffective behavior and how you are seen by others. Then you can understand other people’s temperament and how you may have to change your communication style so that they can relate to what you are saying. This will be a lot of work for you, but I guarantee it will change the way you approach everything and everyone—and you will be really happy you did it.

Second, stop being a jerk. You can do it. Exercise more, meditate, breathe, count to infinity, or do whatever you need to do to be more patient. You must understand that it is the job of the leader to adapt to the people they are leading. So, it is your job to meet people where they are, listen to their ideas, and generally evoke the best from them. This is a tall order and it requires a lot of self-regulation. You are young and this requires maturity, but it will keep you from becoming a monster. I recommend that you simply start with asking instead of telling. Listening to your people and repeat back what you hear. Listen more than you talk, stop interrupting people, and, for the love of Pete, stop rolling your eyes. How do I know you are rolling your eyes? I just know—and so does everyone else who has ever worked for someone like you.

There is hope for you. Go forth and use those smarts to expand the ways you are intelligent. There will be no stopping you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Here are 10 potential things to stop doing in the next year, and what to start doing instead.

Stop taking the monkey. Volunteering to take on problems that are not yours to solve or projects that somebody else should be doing is thankless and diverts your attention from the work that you are accountable for. It is one thing to occasionally step in to help out in a pinch, but it is another to feel constantly overwhelmed because you are stepping in where you shouldn’t.  If you find yourself doing this, start putting your hand over your mouth next time a call for a volunteer goes out and let everyone be uncomfortable in the silence until somebody else pipes up.

Stop booking every minute of the day. Research shows that people who take a minimum of 15 minutes in the morning to plan their day and an hour at the end to tie up loose ends are much more productive than those who don’t. Start booking those times out before they get booked by other stuff that is less important.

Stop keeping your head down and not developing relationships. Getting your work done is important but creating relationships with people who can help you get work done is even more so. Leave time as you come and go to stop and chat with people, make lunch and coffee dates.  Start making a list of all the people in the company you like and are interested in and reach out with invites.

Stop complaining. Yes, there are serious problems in the world and you have more work than you can do, but chances are you actually have a completely decent job and are safe at this moment. Moaning “Ain’t it Awful” never helped anyone – stop focusing on stuff you can’t control and start paying attention to what is  If you must, stop listening to the news and listen to podcasts or books on tape instead.

Stop using email for a dopamine hit. Scanning your email, texts and Twitter feed is not actually the same as responding to them. It is a habitual way to create a dopamine hit in your brain and it is wildly unproductive.  Start making yourself take breaks from your electronics.  Schedule time to look at and respond to email and texts. Don’t look at any other social media during the work day unless it is part of your job.

Stop ignoring administrative tasks. Doing HR paperwork and submitting expenses is about as tedious as work gets but the only person who suffers when you procrastinate is you. Start saving rote admin work for late in the day when your brain is shot—or even better, don’t let yourself do anything high value until the boring stuff is done.

Stop being indirect. Yes, it is hard to tell it like it is, or to say no when you need to. It is so much easier to keep your head down and your trap shut. Going along to get along muddies the waters and is the path to mediocrity. Start having an opinion. Once you are clear about what you are willing to take a stand for and why, practice making your case and then speak up and don’t equivocate.

Stop being too busy to learn something new. “I don’t have time” is an old story and rarely true. We are all constantly barraged with new operating systems, software, and apps. Start taking twenty minutes to watch a YouTube video on something that will help make you more efficient and your work easier and will keep you humming and relevant.

Stop multi-tasking. Split focus means no focus. There are some rote things you can do and multi-task: like driving a regular route, cleaning, knitting, crocheting, doodling.  But the minute you drop a stitch, spill the Clorox, or have to hit the brakes unexpectedly it’s all over and you will absolutely miss whatever is being said. Start deciding what you are going to focus on and for how long.  Set your timer for seven minutes to do a work burst, and shut your laptop when in meetings that you need to pay attention to.

Stop putting off your time off. Burnout is real. And the more burnt out you are, the less likely you are to realize it. If you notice that you are cranky, apathetic, or unusually emotional, you are probably burnt out. Everybody knows this is true, and yet somehow they think it is true for everyone but themselves. Start stepping away from work. Take your paid time off, even if you must check in an hour a day to stay relaxed.

One little change can make all the difference.  Use this stop/start list to identify a new habit for the New Year. Choose one thing and stick with it.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every other week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“We have to look at leadership as a two-sided coin,” says Fowler. “Some people in organizations don’t realize that the quality of their work experience depends on their being a good follower. They don’t know how to manage up—to help their leaders give them what they need to get their work done.

“As a result, leaders are left to guess what their people need, and they often don’t guess correctly.  Direct reports must accept responsibility for knowing and communicating to their manager what they need to succeed.”

Fowler believes communication is important in every relationship—and especially those in the workplace.

“The importance of communication in our personal lives can’t be overstated. But we don’t expect our significant others or our friends to always know what we need—we have to communicate it,” says Fowler. “So why do we expect our leaders, who don’t know us nearly as well, to always understand exactly what we need?”

In a work environment where managers have two or more direct reports, each working on different tasks, it can be even more difficult for managers to know the needs of their people.  “It’s unfair to expect a manager with multiple direct reports to figure out what each individual needs, let alone always provide it.”

The key to effective leadership is to see it as a partnership process and to use a common language, says Fowler.

“The good news is that we can teach people how to be good partners in leadership. We can teach individuals to ask for feedback, collaborate on making goals SMART, and go beyond problem spotting to problem solving.

“Our Situational Leadership® II program helps leaders understand that they need to be flexible and match their leadership style to the development needs of their direct reports.  In our Self Leadership program, we teach individual contributors the mindset and skillset to communicate what they need.  When direct reports can meet their leader halfway, the potential for achieving goals and peak performance improve exponentially.”

Having direct reports become more active in the management process can take some getting used to. After all, it can be a little unsettling when people start telling you what they need from you.  But Fowler says that managers whose direct reports have gone through Self Leadership training actually experience a profound sense of relief.

“Imagine,” Fowler says, “if a direct report comes up to a manager and explains, ‘I’m clear on what you want from me, but given that I’ve never done this task before, I need clarity, direction, and an action plan on how to do it.’ Everyone wins when people have the mindset and the skillset to diagnose their situation and ask for what they need. You avoid wasted time and missed expectations.”

Fowler shares three skills from the Self Leadership program that direct reports can use to meet their managers halfway. These skills are parallel with what is taught in Blanchard’s Situational Leadership® II program.

Goal Setting. “Self leaders learn how to clarify a goal that isn’t specific, measurable, or trackable, how to negotiate a goal if it is not attainable or relevant, and how to reframe a goal if it isn’t optimally motivating for them.”

Diagnosing Development Level. “Who better to diagnose an individual’s development level than the individual themselves? Self leaders learn how to diagnose their own competence and commitment on a goal and how to share their development level with their manager.”

Asking for what you need. “This means being able to say ‘Here is my development level and here is the matching leadership style I need from you.’ Self leaders learn how to use the same language and the same model as their managers, which makes one on one conversations more effective.”

“When direct reports become better at self leadership, they enable their managers to be better leaders,” says Fowler. “Research has proven that when the direct report proactively asks for feedback, the feedback is more likely to be received and acted upon in real time.”

Fowler admits that seeing leadership as a partnership requires a shift in perception—especially within organizations that believe managers have primary responsibility for the performance management equation.

“The focus on the manager as the seat of power is a relic of the old command-and-control approach to leadership,” Fowler explains. “When top leaders believe the only people who need training are those in a position of authority, it limits opportunities for creativity, innovation, and optimally motivated employees. Why not train both sides of the equation? Continue to invest in your managers, but leverage your investment by training the other side of the partnership—the direct reports. Don’t ignore half the equation. Make effective leadership everyone’s job.”

Interested in learning more about leadership as a partnership?  Join Fowler for a free webinar!

Self Leadership: The Rest of the Story

Online—September 28, 2017

In this webinar, bestselling author Susan Fowler reveals three key strategies for taking advantage of your organization’s greatest secret weapon—individual contributors. Leadership works best when it is a partnership. Managers and direct reports both have roles to play. Don’t suffer the opportunity loss of just training one-half of the equation. Discover the power of equipping both managers and direct reports with the mindset and skillset to set goals, diagnose development level, and match leadership style.

Register for this free webinar today!

I am a senior leader in a large commercial services organization. I spent many years learning how to make good use of an assistant and I’ve always made sure I had a great one. Over the last few years, the company has been reducing the size of the administration group and I have had to share an assistant with other executives. That was okay because I was self-sufficient, had my act together, and would set things up so my stuff always got done.

Until now. Two other executives and I were recently given a new assistant and he is a walking disaster.

He doesn’t write things down, he doesn’t remember anything, and he doesn’t seem to understand the most basic office software—for example, I had to teach him some basic calendaring skills and then he didn’t remember. Some days I think he is on some kind of drug because he is so laid back and spaced out.

My problem is I have started to take back all the tasks I would usually delegate, which is adding an extra 90 minutes to my already packed days. Why not just go to HR and replace him, you ask? He is the nephew of the CEO and sucks up shamelessly to the other two executives, who don’t really know how to use an assistant so they don’t really care that he is incompetent.

I need help! What do you think?

My Assistant is Terrible

Dear My Assistant is Terrible,

Wow—I am so sorry. I tell my clients all the time that they are only as good as their assistant, so I can certainly understand your predicament. It sounds like you are dealing with a bunch of different issues here—and one of them is political.

Your first line of defense is to sit down with your new assistant, explain what a good job looks like, and create a step-by-step plan for him to get up to speed. Be kind and patient—we can’t have nephew Fred reporting negative things about you. Document each and every interaction, task, and goal, every dropped ball, every instance of incompetence. You might be surprised that he is not the numb nut you think he is when he has proper direction. On the other hand, if he IS what you think he is, you will have flawless documentation to support your case. The most entrenched nepotism can’t ignore terrible performance, but you must have your documentation.

In the meantime, do meet with HR to lodge your initial complaint and let them know what you are doing. You can ask nicely to be reassigned to a real assistant as well. Are there any terrific assistants working for others? Maybe get yourself moved to one of them. You might also make the case for needing your own full-time assistant if you can show how much more you produce when you have the right kind of help. That 90 minutes a day adds up to more than a week’s work each month—and goodness knows what else you could be doing with that 45 hours. One more option, and I know this sounds nuts but I have seen it done: consider hiring a virtual assistant outside of the organization and paying for that person yourself. It may be impossible because it would require access to calendars and email, so the organization would have to approve, but there may be a variation on the idea that could work.

Don’t despair. If the nepotism situation is as out of control as you think, your guy will be promoted soon. If it isn’t, he will be gone, and you will still have your reputation.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In this model, leaders have to be prepared to play two different roles in the organization.

The first is a strategic leadership role: setting the vision and direction for the organization. As Blanchard explains, “All good leadership begins with establishing a compelling vision for your organization that tells people who you are (your purpose), where you’re going (your picture of the future), and what will guide your journey (your values).”

Blanchard describes how the traditional hierarchical pyramid works well for setting the vision and direction of the organization. While leaders should involve experienced people in this phase of leadership, the ultimate responsibility remains with the leaders themselves and cannot be delegated to others.

But once people are clear on where they are going, the leader needs to turn the company’s organizational chart upside down.  Mentally and symbolically, this illustrates the critical need of leaders to serve the people who are closest to the customer when it comes to implementation.

Many organizations and leaders get into trouble during the implementation phase, says Blanchard. “When the traditional hierarchical pyramid is kept in place for implementation, who do people think they work for? The people above them. All the energy of the organization moves up the hierarchy, away from the customers and the frontline folks who are closest to the action. When there is a conflict between what customers want and what the boss wants, the boss wins.”

Leaders Working for their People

Blanchard shares a great story about when his daughter, Debbie, was in college and working at Nordstrom. One day over lunch, she said, “Dad, I have a really unusual boss. At least two or three times a day, he asks me, ‘Debbie, is there any way I can help you?’ He acts like he works for me!’” Blanchard smiles when he recounts the story. “That’s exactly right, Debbie,” he said to his daughter. “At Nordstrom, you’re able to say ‘no problem’ to a customer without checking with your boss. That’s why they’re known for their great service mindset.”

Blanchard also points to a mirror vs. window metaphor Jim Collins uses in his best-selling book Good to Great.  When things are going well in an organization run by a top-down leader, that type of leader tends to look in the mirror, beat on their chest, and declare, “Look at what I’ve accomplished.” But when things go wrong, this leader looks out the window to see who to blame for the failure.

“Servant leaders approach it in the opposite way,” says Blanchard. “When things go wrong, they look in the mirror and consider what they could have done differently. When things go well, they look out the window to see who they can praise.”

“What kind of leader would you rather work for?” asks Blanchard in closing. By combining equal parts serving and leading, a servant leader creates a balance that produces both great results and great human satisfaction.

You can read the complete article in the July/August issue of Chief Learning Officer.

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a large team of graphic artists for a popular online magazine. A few of my people are employees who do other tasks for the magazine, but most of my artists are independent contractors.

On the whole, they are professional and easy to work with—but a couple are simply a pain in my neck. They don’t take feedback, they try to re-negotiate the fee after we have signed the contract, and one routinely misses his deadline.

Of course I like to give the bulk of the work to the ones who are easy to work with. One of the difficult ones called me recently and challenged me on giving preferential treatment to a favored few. I was tongue tied and didn’t know what to say. I basically ended up stammering that I would pay more attention in the future. Am I being fair?

Feeling Unjust

Dear Unjust,

You are clearly a very nice person who worries about fairness. I am really trying to understand what it must be like to be you, and I am having a hard time—because I am not nice and I am pretty sure that nothing in life is fair. So bear with me, because I am going to give it to you straight here.

You are absolutely, 100 percent, no arguments about it, within your rights to choose who you want to work with. If all of these folks were full-time employees, you would have a different situation on your hands. If you were an evil genius who lived to negotiate professionals down on their fees by playing on their fears and making promises you didn’t intend to keep, you would be tempting karma.

But these folks are independent professionals—presumably adults—and you seem to be reasonable and kind. Your answer to the difficult person is this:

“I choose the best person for the job by considering style, professionalism, and how easy the person is to work with.”

Period. Full stop. That’s it.

It is not the place of anyone but your boss to challenge how you make your staffing choices. Your difficult artist is out of line and there is absolutely no reason for you to work with him ever again. If he were to ask for feedback, you could certainly give it to him—but to be honest, feedback is a gift and it is hard to give. So if he doesn’t ask, you don’t have to tell.

What I want for you, Feeling Unjust, is an entire group of artists who can get the job done on time, on budget, and with a relentless service orientation. Because you are the customer—and for most professionals, 100 percent of their income comes from customers.

You are probably going to feel like a big meanie, but you owe it to yourself to surround yourself with people who do high quality work and who are fun and easy to work with. You owe it to your company to choose the best people for the job. And you owe the people who do great work your gratitude, a good recommendation, and more work should it be available. You don’t owe anyone else anything at all.

Stand strong.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am the manager of a large group of service professionals. Earlier this year, I was inspired by a management book to set goals with my people and then give them the autonomy to decide how to achieve them.

It sounded good on paper, but here we are at the end of the year and not a single one of them has done well on their goals. As a result, I have given them all less than stellar ratings on their performance reviews. They are all surprised and upset with me.  —Confused

Dear Confused,

Managing people is complex, and managing high level professionals is maybe even more so.  So I checked out the book you shared and I think I know what went wrong.  You gave people goals and the autonomy to figure out how to achieve them—but you seem to have missed the rest of the steps outlined in the book, which go something like this:

• Work with each employee to identify actions that will be most likely to move them toward achieving their goal.
• Create a visible scorecard that shows both you and the employee how they are tracking to their goal.
• Meet weekly to review progress, brainstorm obstacles, and inspire the employee to stick with the plan.

In other words, you should give people enough autonomy that they feel like they own the goal—but not so much that the goal falls off the to-do list without anyone noticing.

There a lot of reasons people don’t achieve their goals. The most common ones are shockingly simple:

• They didn’t really know what to do or how to do it
• They didn’t really want to do it
• They didn’t think it was a good goal
• They didn’t think it was that important and prioritized other things above it
• They had too many other things to do
• They simply forgot

That last one is my personal favorite because it has happened to me.  I sat down with my manager to review the year and he asked how things went with a project we had discussed some months back.  I was appalled to realize that I had forgotten all about it and had done absolutely nothing.  I was lucky to have an understanding manager who also took some responsibility for the fact that we hadn’t talked about it since that first discussion.

Just think, for a moment, about what competes for our brain space on any given day.  Anything that actually gets done only does so because of relentless attention and focus to ensure that it does.  Otherwise, the goal might as well not exist.

I am sorry you are now in the position of feeling like the bad guy.  I recommend that you not give your people a bad rating on this part of their review—and that you take responsibility for essentially setting them up to fail.  Try the same approach this year, but include the part about working with each person to identify action steps, build the scorecard, and have regular reviews to check progress and offer support.

I’m certain that when you incorporate the additional steps, your people will come through with flying colors.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Often, 20 to 35 percent of value-added collaborations come from only 3 to 5 percent of employees, according to a recent study shared in a Harvard Business Review podcast with Rob Cross, University of Virginia professor and coauthor of the article Collaborative Overload.

“As people become known for being both capable and willing to help, they are drawn into projects and roles of growing importance,” says Cross.

The downside? This kind of collaboration usually comes at a cost—not only to the person who is shouldering the load but also to the organization. Here’s why.

When someone is called on to be involved in everybody’s projects, sooner or later an organizational bottleneck is created when numerous groups are waiting for the person to work on their job. This is not healthy for the organization or for the overworked individual, says Cross. When one person is in extreme demand from several sources, that person will eventually suffer from burnout.

Wondering if you may be an excessive collaborator? Your calendar can offer some hints. Over the past four months, how many times have you:

• been involved in projects outside your core responsibilities?
• received routine informational requests about projects that you don’t need to be part of anymore?
• been asked to make routine decisions when you are not adding value?

All three of these questions point to signs of either a poorly designed role or one that has experienced scope creep. For example, you are unable to let go of old projects that could now be handled by others or you are still part of an archaic approval process put in place years ago that doesn’t really serve the organization any longer.

Cross explains that bottlenecks, burnout, and turnover can affect the performance of an entire organization. Don’t let yourself become a pinch point. Begin in small ways to remove yourself as an assumed collaborator by saying no, shifting priorities, and placing buffers in your work life.

Finally, if you are a manager, make sure you are not inadvertently asking people to become overloaded bottlenecks themselves. For example:

• Do you ask people to be always on?
• Who do you pick for assignments—is it typically the most connected, overworked people?
• Do you ever choose people for tasks who are less busy and could quickly learn the job?

Take a look at your culture and what kind of work ethic it encourages. Don’t put yourself, your people, or your organization at risk of burnout.

To learn more about the risks of collaborative overload, check out the complete article at Harvard Business Review. Are you a podcast listener? You can hear Rob Cross discuss these concepts on the HBR Ideacast.

If you are suffering from “excessive productivity,” here’s what I would recommend as your prescription.

Get rid of those things that don’t add value to your life. Take a moment to think of those things that are in your life that just don’t carry their weight. This could be at work or in your personal life; they aren’t necessarily bad, but are time wasters masquerading as productive efforts. There are many things in your life that can take your energy and time that aren’t adding value. They could be excessive meetings to satisfy your own need for control, social media that isn’t beneficial, or people in your life who don’t help you grow.

Learn to say no. This might be a hard one for you. To some, saying no implies that you can’t handle it or don’t have the skills to take on the task. Remember, everything that you say yes to means you are saying no to something else. Does what you are saying yes to align with your current focus? Is there something better that you could be doing? Take a serious moment to think about those things in your life and learn what to say yes to and what can wait. If you are focused and have a good sense of the big picture, then saying no will become a lot easier.

Get focus and clarity. Do you value being focused and clear? If not, maybe it’s time to take a brief self-inventory. Slowing down and processing your feelings and goals will help you to get really clear on where you want to be. Remember, this is about you and your focus on life and work. No one else is going to live your life. Be careful of being pulled into too many different directions that need to be taken care of “immediately.” If everything is urgent, then nothing is urgent. Be clear, focused, and methodical.

Slowing down is not stopping; it’s not being less productive. It’s being more focused on those things that really matter: what you value. Take control of your surroundings and make sure you are the one driving your life and not being a passenger.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior project manager in a service organization. I manage client-facing work as well as hundreds of independent contractors. 

I recently got behind on my list—the endless small tasks that add up to outstanding service—and I shelved a few items to take care of when I came back from a week’s vacation. 

Big mistake. 

I returned to a debacle with one of our significant internal clients and her handful of potential clients.  A whole incident had been escalated to the colleague who was covering for me, then to my boss.  

My boss was pretty nice about it but I can tell I have lost her trust.   I was disappointed in myself—but more than anything I was really embarrassed.  I don’t know what I was thinking. I misread the time frame and the requirements and thought the matter could wait. 

Here is the bigger problem: I now have constant anxiety that I might be dropping a ball. I feel like I can never take a vacation again.  I have gotten myself into a trap of working all hours and checking email and texts constantly out of fear that I might miss something. My husband and kids are really getting annoyed with me.  I feel the stress ratcheting up—like I am losing control of my life. Help!

Losing Control

_______________________________________________________

Dear Losing Control,

I am sorry. I so know the feeling. And so does every other member of PA—“Perfectionists Anonymous.”   You really do need to be a perfectionist to be a project manager; it is an impossible job that never ends.  You are apparently very good at, and you are now experiencing the dark side of being naturally detail oriented and what I call a control enthusiast.

The bad news is that you are destined to burn out dramatically if you don’t take some significant steps to get yourself back on an even keel.   Constant anxiety will take a toll on your health and ultimately will cloud your thinking and make you less effective at your job.

First stop: your boss.  Have the hard conversation that starts with your feeling of losing her trust.  You actually might be making that up.  If you aren’t making it up and you do need to rebuild trust, you need to set clear milestones that the two of you can track.  Make it concrete—get the “feeling” out of it.  I think it is also important for you to discuss your stress level with your boss.  As you get yourself to a better place, you may need help managing your workload—and you will need your boss’s support to do that.

Which brings me to the next step:  tell yourself the truth about how much work you can do.  Then draw a boundary and do not say yes to more than you can reasonably take on.  You may worry that this could put your job in jeopardy, but honestly—most bosses will just keep loading it on until the employee cries Uncle. And, ultimately, if you find that more is expected of you than you can give, it’s time to find another job. You can’t live your life as a total nervous wreck.  Life is too short—and too long—for that.

Everything is easier with stress management techniques.  There are many methods. Explore them and find one thing you can do to ratchet down the stress.  A short walk at lunch time, ten deep breaths three times a day, prayer, a gratitude practice, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, homeopathic remedies.  None of this has to take a lot of time, but you have to find something and practice it religiously.  This is not optional.

Finally, stop trying to go this alone. Here is a new mantra for you: GET HELP.  Ask a colleague to help out when you are overwhelmed with to-do’s. Ask your boss for help. Use your Employee Assistance Program and go get 6 therapy sessions. Talk things over with your spouse, sibling, parent, or best friends.  Don’t hide your situation from anyone who cares about you. I guarantee the right kind of help will come your way.

Now take a deep breath.  You are going to be okay—but you do need to put your sanity first.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!