A new year is upon us. For many people, this time of year represents “out with the old, in with the new”—a new start or a new opportunity. I believe right now is the best time for self-reflection toward creating goals and identifying behaviors you need to become the person you want to be in 2020!

Imagine your desired future self. Who is the person you want to be? Is it someone who exudes executive presence, communicates eloquently, is a subject matter expert, is outgoing, or has confidence? Think big! Don’t limit yourself!

Next, what are the qualities you need to become this person? For example, would you like to be seen as charismatic, direct, self-aware, self-assured, sociable, empathetic, sincere, determined? It may help to think of the behaviors and qualities of a person you admire. Identify one or two behaviors to focus on to move toward your authentic future self.

Being your authentic self means being genuine and real. The way someone chooses to express confidence may be interpreted by others as cocky, fake, or power hungry. Be sure you are authentic and that you exhibit behaviors that complement your style. Let me share a story to help illustrate this point.

As an introvert, my natural tendency is to be a quiet observer and very guarded with what I say during a conversation. My goal is to be more outspoken and social. I once received feedback from team members who felt I was disengaged at times and who wanted me to share my opinions more often. I realized I was slow to respond and sometimes missed the opportunity to respond, which led to their perception that I was not engaged. I decided to make a change—and, most important, to do it in a way that was consistent with who I am.

I made an agreement with myself that I would start sharing my thoughts early in discussions, even if I did not have all the details or the time to process input from others before I stated my opinion. I gave myself permission to be vulnerable and uncomfortable with being more outgoing and outspoken.

Since then, I have been intentional with initiating conversations in social settings and speaking up during meetings and in group settings. I share my thoughts when appropriate, but I still engage through listening and processing what others say before I give my opinion.

Fast forward to today. During a large gathering of family and friends over the holidays, I was part of a discussion about the differences between introverts and extroverts, and being reserved versus outgoing. I stated I am an introvert, reserved, an observer, and not very comfortable in large settings. I was surprised to hear many state they disagreed with me. They gave me examples of when I was outgoing, displaying behaviors of an extrovert and a “social butterfly.” Looking back, I was happy I had accomplished an authentic behavior change, becoming more outspoken and social in a way that was still me.

How about you? Are you ready for a genuine change? Here are four steps to authentically change a behavior:

• Identify a behavior you want to change, such as shifting from timid to confident.
• Link the behavior to your values to be authentic. For example, being confident helps build positive relationships.
• Visualize the effectiveness of the behavior—a situation where you are confident and receive positive feedback from others.
• Create a plan of action. For example, be prepared for meetings, practice positive self-talk, learn presentation skills, etc.

It takes time, focus, and determination to change a behavior. But through self-awareness and being intentional with your actions, it can be done!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

A common topic in my coaching sessions is work/life balance. Heavy workloads, daily abundance of emails, competing deadlines, required meetings, and other concerns can be so overwhelming that work can become the focal point and main priority in life. As a result, we can feel obligated to dedicate long hours to our work. We struggle with setting and honoring boundaries that could give us a more balanced life. Many of us know the benefits of a work/life balance, but fall short in achieving it.

The definition of work/life balance is different for each individual. For one person, it’s working a set number of hours in a day or week. For another person, it’s scheduling some longer days for more intense work and some shorter days that are easier. And some people prefer a compressed work schedule—such as four ten-hour days—so that they have an extra day off every week.

So how can you achieve much-needed balance between your work and home life? It’s usually a combination of priorities, boundaries, and structure.

Identify your priorities. Depending on where you are in life, your priorities may be different than they used to be. What is most important in your life right now? Think of what work/life balance means to you, based on those priorities. It could be something as simple as not taking work home or checking email on the weekends so that you can be fully present with your family. Or dedicating Wednesday nights to bowling with friends to keep your relationships close.

Set your boundaries. What boundaries might help you achieve work/life balance? It may be getting to work no earlier than 9:00 a.m. on Mondays and going home no later than 3:00 p.m. on Fridays.

Create some structure. What kind of structure needs to be in place for work/life balance? It could be having weekly one-on-one meetings with each staff member to ensure that you delegate more effectively.

Think before you commit. Do you sometimes say yes because you want to be seen as a team player—and instantly regret it? I’ll never forget a thought-provoking edict from my coach training: “Whenever you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.” Pause to think about the potential impact of your answer before you respond to a request.

Honor yourself by applying any or all of these steps. You will instantly feel more in control of your daily life as you move toward the balance you need to succeed—both at home and at work.

Delegation and control are common topics with my coaching clients. They recognize the importance of delegation and how it can serve them, but some still struggle with letting go.

In order to free up space to be more strategic, have a greater impact, be more efficient, and achieve work/life balance, delegating appropriate tasks to others is necessary and even required for managers today. This can feel risky—especially if the leader is high controlling, is a perfectionist, or has a heavy workload. Effective leaders who climb the corporate ladder are skilled at delegating and developing people.

When delegating, room must be made for learners to try and fail, which takes extra time. Similar to Blanchard’s SLII® model, extra time is required in Style 1 (Directing) to provide details, show and tell how, monitor frequently, and give feedback to develop a team member on a new task. As the learner develops, the leader can eventually move to Style 4 (Delegating) and devote less time to the team member.

It takes time and planning to effectively develop others, but it’s worth it. Delegation and the development of others are linked together!

If internal issues are standing in the way of delegating, leaders must ask themselves what is causing the need for control. Why do I fear letting go and trusting others to do it correctly? Do I really believe I am the only one who can do it? Do I just want attention? Some managers simply enjoy the sense of accomplishment because they can complete the tasks quickly and accurately with no heavy brain power (cognitive strain).

Ready to start letting go? Here are seven tactics that will help you be more successful.

1. Create a detailed plan for transferring the task.
2. Be clear of the objectives and outcomes of the task.
3. Create a timeline.
4. Establish how and when you will monitor progress.
5. Do not make assumptions.
6. Create a safe space for learning and failures.
7. Provide timely feedback.

Many times, what stands in the way of managerial success is control. The leader’s need to remain in control of a task or project will eventually cause both leader and direct report to fall short of expectations. Delegating more will allow for growth opportunities and professional development for both you and your people. Use these suggestions, take a deep breath, and give it a try today!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

People with high emotional intelligence are able to recognize emotions that surface within themselves and others. Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ, refers to a person’s ability to identify and understand their own emotions and the emotions of other people.

To your knowledge, have you ever interacted with a person with low EQ? If you have, it’s safe to say the interaction may not have been very pleasant or productive.

Coaching sessions often focus, directly or indirectly, on emotional intelligence. A coach helps a leader surface and recognize the emotions that result in the behaviors that are driving them. A leader who can measure the effectiveness of their behaviors and manage those emotions can create appropriate and productive leadership behaviors for themselves.

The skills involved in most emotional intelligence models include the following:

• Self-Awareness: This is where it begins! Being self-aware. Using your personal power.
• Self-Management: Being in control of your behaviors based on your emotions. Self-regulation.
• Social or Other Awareness: Being aware of others’ emotions. Showing empathy and being service oriented.
• Relationship Management: Leveraging self and others’ emotions to build collaboration, communication, and trust.

Daniel Goleman, author of many books on EQ including Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, highlights a study that determined people with high EQ have better mental health, job performance, and lives. Goleman states: “In a study of skills that distinguish star performers in every field, from entry-level jobs to executive positions, the single most important factor was not IQ, advanced degrees, or technical experience—it was EQ. Of the competencies required for excellence in performance in the job studies, 67 percent were emotional competencies.”

EQ is about adapting your behaviors and leadership styles to create productive interactions. This is at the core of effective leadership. Everyone experiences good days, bad days, positive moods, “just don’t feel like it” moods, tiredness, low motivation, etc. We are human and mood swings come naturally. And we have the ability to manage how we act on our emotions and how we deal with the emotions of others.

With some coaching and a little practice, anyone can increase their level of emotional intelligence and positively impact their relationships at home and in the workplace.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

It is so rewarding to coach clients who want to be amazing and who dare to rise!  They are fully aware of their current reality of operating in the normal status quo and are now ready to shake it up.  Other clients gain the desire to rise during a few coaching sessions after self-reflecting and uncovering their goals and who they want to be.

Only YOU know what being amazing looks like for YOU!  It may involve taking baby steps in accomplishing smaller goals. Or it may be making a bigger leap to a larger goal. In both cases, stepping outside of the norm to “Rise to be Amazing” involves the following 4 elements:

1. Self-Reflection – Take the time to think about what you want to achieve and who you want to be in order to be amazing. Define what amazing means to you.

2. Self-Awareness – Recognize your normal mode of operation, behaviors, and thoughts.

3. Courage – Be willing to take a risk, to be uncomfortable, and to challenge yourself.

4. Believe in Yourself – This is huge: envision yourself being amazing! Personally, this helped me achieve completing my first marathon in 2016.  Wow—what a feeling!  After doubting myself and not taking control of my life/work circumstances for years, I chose to Rise to be Amazing!

Being amazing works in your personal life and also in your professional life.  For example, I have worked with many clients whose professional goal was to be an amazing leader.  For these clients, a focus on better goal setting, diagnosing a direct report’s development level, or becoming better at providing direction and support defined being a master at management.  Communication is another common topic where many clients want to become more effective.  This, too, involves self-awareness, self-discipline, and the willingness to adapt one’s communication style and approach.

Who knows what you might achieve if you rise beyond being normal. I challenge you to Rise to be Amazing!!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

What exactly does it take to achieve mastery?

It begins with clarity. Identifying the needed behaviors and actions to move toward mastery.

Be intentional and focused. It takes concentrated brain power to go against your natural tendencies due to deep pathways created in the brain. You must be focused in your actions.

Take risks. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable as you move toward mastery. Be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone to experience new behaviors, actions, and interactions.

Embrace change. Keep your eye on the prize. In Situational Leadership^® II we teach that being new to a task or goal requires extra time and effort; but as you progress and gain mastery, it becomes easier and easier as new natural tendencies are formed.

Learn from setbacks. Recognize that you will experience setbacks and what even feels like failure at times. The key is to learn from these challenges and to see them as learning opportunities that lead to mastery.

Be open to learn. An open mind sparks the creation of new pathways in the brain. Be open to making changes when needed based on experiences. Mastery is a journey!

I’ve made a commitment to myself for 2018 to do what it takes to achieve mastery in public speaking. I am confident speaking one on one, but I want to also be confident in front of a group. I have already committed to several speaking opportunities this year. Yes, I am nervous, anxious, and excited. But I want to achieve mastery for professional growth.

Repetition is the key. It will take time and dedication to achieve mastery. It will be uncomfortable. But I believe in myself!

Join me and shake it up to achieve mastery!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Below are a few key skills and techniques that coaches use when working with others. Each of these skills will help your managers adopt more of a coaching approach in their interactions. If you are interested in a more extensive and detailed look, check out Coaching in Organizations – Best Coaching Practices by Madeleine Homan and Linda Miller. Also, the International Coach Federation’s list of Core Competencies for coaches are listed on the federation’s website: www.coachfederation.org

• Take a service-partnership approach. It’s not about you. The focus is on helping leaders be effective and develop.
• Be fully present. This can be a challenge even for experienced coaches—there are so many distractions in today’s world. Constantly reengage yourself. During the coaching session, nothing else matters other than the person you are working with.
• Be a sounding board. Practice active listening. Many people just need a neutral partner to listen to them so they can work it out for themselves vocally.
• Inquire for insight: Ask open-ended questions. Clarifying questions help get to the heart of the topic. Focus questions set the direction for the coaching session. Discovery questions lead to increased awareness. Challenging questions lead to new insight and action.

This list is only a highlight of what is needed to have a productive, valuable, and rewarding coaching session from the client and coach perspective. Give it a try. I’m sure that even with this exploratory approach, your managers will experience the thrill of hearing and watching their people have aha moments as they come up with their own solutions.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

A low confidence level can come from something as simple as a lack of experience and expertise in a particular subject or task. When this happens, it is necessary to identify the knowledge and skills needed to progress. This is where the support of others comes in.

Situational Leadership® II (SLII®) from The Ken Blanchard Companies is a partnership model. The leader partners with the direct report in building the person’s confidence while helping increase their competence. How? By providing the appropriate leadership style based on the direct report’s development level on a specific task or goal. When the direct report receives the level of support they need, their confidence in that area increases.

To build a direct report’s confidence on a specific task, a manager should follow these steps, repeating them when needed:

1. Help create clarity on what the direct report wants to accomplish
2. Give specific direction by showing how
3. Let the direct report try to do the task
4. Observe the person’s performance
5. Praise or redirect the direct report based on their performance

How’s your confidence level? Think about your feelings and expectations about your own potential for success, remembering that when people expect to succeed—or fail—they often unintentionally rise or fall to meet those expectations. When you have the discipline to self-assess and the willingness to partner with your manager, coach, or capable colleague to build your competence on new behaviors, your confidence will grow—and your performance will follow suit.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Coaching yourself can be a challenge due to biases and assumed constraints.  However, by increasing your awareness of your thoughts and being intentional, you can coach yourself to positive outcomes. Here are six recommendations that may help you.

Silence is Key.  Set aside quiet times for yourself to deeply reflect and explore your thoughts.

Brain Dump.  Write down your thoughts.  Be honest about how you are truly feeling.  Don’t hold back!  Remember, you are only talking to yourself so be honest!

Identify Your Goal or Objective.  In your current reality, state what you truly want to accomplish or change.  Say to yourself, “In a perfect world, I want… or “If I could have it my way, I want…”

Create a Plan of Action.  The goal here is to move through the feeling of being stuck by answering the question “What am I going to do about it?”

Start Small. Identify a few actions you will take and give yourself deadlines.  Include what may block you from being successful and how you can overcome it.

Find an Accountability Partner.  Find a person or persons who can support you and speak to them about your goals and plan of action. Ask them to hold you accountable.

We all have times when we feel stuck and need a little help.  If you are unable to partner with a certified coach, remember that you can coach yourself to move toward thinking differently, consciously exploring your thoughts, and creating a plan. Use this six-step process to get started—and let me know how it goes!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The International Coach Federation describes presence as the “ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, and confident.”

Being present is about being in the moment with a laser focus on the client. To do this, eliminate any potential distractions and filters—including your own preconceived thoughts and judgments. Being fully present means listening to understand and asking open-ended questions to help your client explore himself or herself more deeply.

Here are a couple of tips that can help you be more present in your coaching conversations.

Remember, it’s not about you. I like to say to my clients “It is not about me as a coach; it is all about YOU!” The coach is confident about not knowing or identifying the solution—their focus is on shifting perspective and exploring possibilities. The client is in the lead with the coach as a solid support partner.

Silence is okay. Often we feel the need to fill in the gaps during a conversation. But truly being present may involve periods of silence, which a coach will often do intentionally. This allows clients more space to share what’s on their mind.

Listen to understand. Too often, people listen only enough to respond. Instead of really hearing what the other person is saying, energy is spent preparing an answer or response. Effective coaches practice active listening—listening with the expectation of hearing something new or surprising.

Tell your truth. Coaching presence means the coach calls out what they are observing and trusts their intuition to support the client in gaining clarity, increasing self-awareness, and finding the right solutions.

I have learned over the years that the most important thing I can do in my coaching relationships as well as my personal relationships is to be fully present and in the moment. It is about showing I care, listening to understand, and controlling my thoughts, judgments, and responses.

Imagine being fully present with your spouse, partner, kids, family members, friends, and co-workers. Consider listening to truly understand the other person’s perspective—what they are saying and feeling—without quickly forming a judgment or jumping to share your thoughts. How would your relationships change?

If you haven’t tried coaching presence, try it!

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Wondering what people want to talk about most often during times of uncertainty? And how coaching can help? Below are a few common topics managers discuss with their coach when things get stressful.

Managing emotions. A coach creates a safe environment to encourage a manager to deeply self-reflect about his or her true thoughts and feelings. Discussions will center on what is causing the emotion and how to manage it. A coach will also help the manager identify resources and strategies to help control the emotion.

Executive presence. In order to minimize the uncertainty that comes with change, a manager’s attitude, poise, body language, agility, and patience are key. A coach will help a manager gain clarity on how they need to show up in order to lead effectively.

Communication. To build trust and lessen concerns during uncertain times, it is crucial for a manager to be as transparent as possible with information. Direct reports experience several levels of concern during change that a manager needs to address, such as “What is causing the change?” “How will the change impact me?” or “How do I manage all the details?” A coach will support a manager in creating a communication plan and being an effective listener.

Lack of control. A coach will help a manager gain clarity over what is and is not within his or her control. Discussions will center on how to be impactful, influential, and forward focused.  This allows a manager broaden his or her perspective and think differently managing in uncertainty. The coach will support the manager in being creative and finding ways to remain effective and be a guide, leader, and resource for direct reports and colleagues.

All of us deal with self-doubt and uncertainty when faced with turbulent times. A coach can often act as a calming influence and help us find alternatives and resources we might not be able to find for ourselves.

How about you? Have you tried to go it alone? For those who are open to it, a coach can provide an extra layer of individualized one-on-one support for leaders at every level.

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

As the availability of coach training programs has increased, so has the variety of coaching models and coaching processes that coaches are using as a framework or process. For example:

GROW Model. This model is based on performance relating to problem solving and goal setting to maximize and maintain personal achievement and productivity.  It is a framework and a process to tap into inner potential through a series of sequential coaching conversations.

Newfield Institute Way of Being Model. This is a model based on ontological coaching relating to the way of being that incorporates language, emotions, and body that influence behavior.  The Way of Being is the underlying driver of communication and behavior based on one’s perceptions and attitudes.

The Coaches Training Institute. This organization’s Co-Active Model is a methodology and framework based on the idea that individuals are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.  It suggests individuals are capable of finding their own solutions, with the support of a coach in a collaborative relationship, that result in courageous action.  The model is centered on fulfillment, balance, and process.

Every coaching model and worldwide coaching professional association has its set of required core competencies which must be achieved for one to be considered an effective coach.  But are there any common ingredients across all coaching models and coaching professional associations?  Here’s what I came up with. How do these match with your experience?

1. Flexibility – Remaining flexible and agile to adjust your coaching model, process, and style based on your client’s needs. For example, allowing more time for a deeper connection before moving forward, or brainstorming to identify next actionable steps when a client is stuck.
2. Coaching Presence and Active Listening – Having a target focus on the client and eliminating distractions. Listening at a deeper level that involves words, nonverbals, body language, surroundings, and silence.
3. Coach’s Toolbox – Having available several coaching models and processes that can be incorporated into the coaching based on the client’s need. Being able to flex and adjust your coaching style.

At The Ken Blanchard Companies, we focus on a deliberate process using focused conversations to create a safe environment that results in individual growth, purposeful action, and sustained improvement.  As a coach working within that model, I intentionally incorporate flexibility, presence, and active listening to enhance my ability to serve and coach each client.

How about you?  What is your experience with the different coaching models currently available?  How do you tweak each to flexibly serve the needs of your clients?

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

A client’s belief system and cultural perspective greatly impacts how they not only interact with their coach but also achieve goals. As a result, I have personally expanded my perspective, identified potential biases, and adjusted my coaching style to incorporate a range of cultural dimensions.

Here are four key points to keep in mind when coaching across cultures.

1. Definition of coaching. Many clients believe coaching is the same as consulting or mentoring—but there are distinct differences. It is important to begin with a clear mutual understanding of what coaching is and what the client can expect from the partnership.

2. Country orientation. Recognize that the tendency for a client to think, feel, and act certain ways is innate and based on their cultural background. This includes communication, perception of self and others in roles, problem solving, and control.

3. Hierarchical vs. egalitarian culture. Clients with hierarchical views may see themselves as subordinate to higher level leaders and therefore believe communication comes from the top and is not to be challenged. Clients with egalitarian perceptions view employees and leaders as equals and are more likely to freely state their opinions and challenge top leaders.

4. Language. When coaching in a language other than the client’s local language, it is important to be aware of subtleties that can cause misunderstanding. Adjusting the pace of speaking to allow a client to translate and understand will increase the effectiveness of the coaching.

As the coaching profession continues its expansion worldwide, it is more and more imperative for coaches to incorporate intercultural dimensions into their practice to be effective with clients.

Coaches can increase a successful coaching experience by recognizing their existing cultural biases and belief systems and adapting based on the situation. For example, if a client is inclined to value indirect language and harmony in their workplace, the role of the coach is to support the client in identifying when to adapt and lean toward a different, more direct style while maintaining authenticity. It is about not only embracing cultural diversity but also leveraging it.

Coaches and managers: how are you embracing and leveraging diversity?

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

For example, based on an emotional reaction, a client of mine recently responded to a colleague in a defensive and aggressive manner during a team meeting. My client was impatient and frustrated about the questions her colleague was asking her. The meeting ended with hurt feelings on both sides and the problem remained unsolved.

Emotions can drive intentional and unintentional behaviors during any time of the year. The key is to be aware of your emotions, identify what is triggering a specific emotion, and manage them.

It is not always easy to manage your own emotions in addition to someone else’s emotions.  It takes an increased awareness and a quick strategy to foster a positive outcome.

Here are a few strategies to manage your emotions in case you’re feeling the strain.

1. Move. If possible, instead of responding impulsively to an emotional trigger, go for a walk or do a few stretches to release the tension and consider your best response.
2. Breathe. To remain calm, take a deep breath just before responding.
3. Smile. Smiling builds connection and helps you empathize with the other person.
4. State your emotion. Be open about how you are feeling, which will lessen the intensity of the emotion.
5. State the emotion you perceive from the other person. Let the person know you sense they are angry (or upset, sad, etc.). This will help engage the person in communicating and owning what they are feeling.

Awareness of your emotions allows you to effectively express your feelings and control your behaviors.  For example, I recently needed to cause myself to be patient as a colleague passionately expressed her frustrations about a process. I tried several times to interject and explain specifics about the process that was frustrating her—but she was not hearing me.  She was only focused on expressing her thoughts.  As a result of reading her emotions, I forced myself to be patient so she felt heard.  Once she was able to tell her story, I asked her a few questions about the process.  We began to engage in a conversation because she was now able to focus in and listen … finally!

It took added time and energy on my part to manage my emotions along with those of my colleague.  The final outcome was a productive two-way conversation that led to a solution.

As human beings, we all have emotions—and we have the ability to manage our emotions.  The key is to find the strategy that is best for you!

Happy Holidays!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

A leader’s role, while serving as a role model of performance and development, is to help others accomplish objectives.  Anyone who is striving to be an effective leader, the role of the mirror is key! Leaders who are aware of their own behaviors and emotional intelligence are able to influence effectively, build deep connections with others, and intentionally serve as an inspiring example.

However, even when identified, adopting a new behavior is not always easy. Have you ever tried adopting a new behavior such as asking open-ended questions before offering a solution? Or adapting your communication style to the style of the receiver? Or sharing your thoughts rather than remaining silent?

Most of these behaviors are challenging for leaders—and this is exactly the type of objectives professional coaches work on with clients. Here, for example, are some of the communication behavior goals I’ve worked on with my clients.

• Communication Goal: Developing new behaviors that open up lines of communication instead of shutting them down.
• Listening Goal: Managing the tendency to provide solutions rather than ask open-ended questions from a curiosity perspective to promote self problem solving.
• Executive Presence Goal: Learning how to manage emotions to increase confidence, credibility, communication, conciseness, and composure.

A quick check in the mirror is a good first step toward identifying and altering leadership behaviors that might be holding you back. In addition, working with a coach is a great way to double-check the accuracy of your perceptions and get going in the right direction.

If you want to continue to develop as a leader, you must be willing to look in the mirror on a regular basis—to reach deep down into the depths of your soul to identify values, motivators, and behaviors. When was the last time you took a good look?

Could you be more effective as a leader? Take a deep breath, open your mind, and repeat after me: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall…”

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In it, Angela writes “Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it.” She elaborates on the two components of grit: passion and perseverance. Grit is more about commitment, endurance, and consistency over time than it is about talent.

Grit is needed to accomplish goals—especially stretch goals—and to change behavior. When I first started thinking of people who have grit, I thought about the TV shows Spartan Race and American Ninja Warrior. The participants and athletes in those competitions must have grit in order to fail and come back again and again.

Grit also applies to Olympic athletes. Consider the grit displayed when a young girl commits at an early age to be one of the best gymnasts at the Olympics—like Simone Biles and Laurie Hernandez on the 2016 US Olympic Gymnastics team.

In another way, grit can come into play when we are coaching clients toward achieving their goals. It begins with helping them create a SMART goal they are passionate about that will cause them to stay committed and consistent over time. For example, a client had a goal to take a situational approach to leadership in order to create a high performing team.

We discussed the passion and motivation the client had to become a situational leader. We also discussed his perseverance and commitment to intentionally flex his leadership style regardless of high pressure situations. The coaching lead him to  increase his commitment by creating a structure to remind himself to flex his leadership style, identifying accountability partners, and asking for regular feedback from his team. Over time, the client increased his grit to be a situational leader—and subsequently increased his success.

Could a rediscovery of your own grit level help? You can apply grit principles to your goals by answering these questions:

• What is the motivation for this goal?
• Is this a goal that will stand the test of time?
• Are you passionate enough to remain committed if you start getting distracted by other ideas or goals?
• What will cause you to hold steadfast to this goal?

I think you’ll find that when you increase your level of grit, you’ll set yourself up for success—just like my client.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

People need a big container—a mind that is open—to grow. A small container—limited thinking—inhibits the ability to receive and learn new information. In order to succeed, you must develop the right mindset to enlarge your container so that you can fill it with new information, skills, and possibilities.

For example, I recently worked with a coaching client who was trying to figure out if she had what it took to go after a VP position. During our coaching sessions, she expressed a lack of self-confidence along with other assumed constraints. The client doubted herself—and her negative thoughts were limiting her possibilities.

I coached my client to take a second look at her beliefs. Were they accurate? I also asked her to identify supportive beliefs that could lead her toward her goal.

Thinking it through, she realized she did have the experience and the transferable skills to step into a VP role. As far as steps she could take to address specific areas where she needed work, my client identified two executives she would ask to be her mentors.

During our coaching journey, I observed a shift in my client’s mindset. She went from a negative feeling about herself to a positive, confident attitude regarding her capabilities to move into a VP role. She could see a personal vision for herself and the steps required to become a VP. The size of my client’s internal container was expanding as she considered ways to absorb new knowledge, skills, and behaviors. She was on her way to pursuing her goal!

How about you? Do you need a little extra room to grow? Here are three tips for changing your mindset and enlarging your container:

1. Question your assumed constraints. What are you assuming is true about your current capabilities or about the situation? Re-examine your reality, experiences, and capabilities. Reflect on what is causing you to hesitate.
2. Examine your mindset. Which of your beliefs is causing self-imposed limits and an unsupportive attitude? Change your internal talk from negative and cynical to positive and encouraging. Recognize you have a choice!
3. Reshape your outlook with a specific vision. Where are you headed? Identify a clear and precise goal. Create an action plan. Commit to the challenge of accomplishing the goal.

Don’t let a limited internal container stifle your possibilities. Remember, your thoughts drive your behavior. Open your mind and create a bigger container—one with room for new information and skills—and a positive mindset to succeed!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Crowe shared data from 860 project managers who had completed a 360-degree assessment on eight dimensions.

I was surprised to learn that the Alphas—the top 2 percent of these managers as rated by stakeholders—believe communication to be the key deliverable until the product is in customers’ hands.

Communication Is Key

The Alphas emphasize the importance of understanding their audiences and the need to tailor their communication to be effective throughout the project cycle. One key trait required is self-awareness. The best project managers are aware of their natural behavioral tendencies and know when to flex their style.

As I was listening to Crowe speak, I thought of coaching conversations I’ve conducted with clients on communication. Many clients want to increase their communication effectiveness with senior executives, team members, and peers.

When looking to improve your communication effectiveness, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• Who is my audience?
• What information does my audience need or want to hear?
• What is my purpose for communicating?
• What is the best approach or style for my audience?

A little bit of introspection during coaching sessions increases clients’ understanding of effective communication behaviors and approaches. This self-awareness allows clients to tailor their communication to each audience and helps them improve in areas such as being concise, stating clear expectations, and listening for understanding.

Alpha project managers, as Crowe shared, are strategic about communicating information in a way that will be quickly understood by every stakeholder. This leads to stakeholder buy-in, transparency, conflict resolution, and proactive problem solving.

Effective communication is the foundation for success—and communication is the first deliverable!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I am sure everyone has experienced talking to someone who was not present. Conversations with a spouse or partner come to mind. I know at times I have shared something with my spouse that I was really excited about or thought was very important and did not get the response I was looking for—or any response at all—with the computer or television taking precedence. I realized my spouse was not fully present with me at the moment.

I have also experienced another’s lack of presence in a work setting. For example, recently I was talking to a colleague while several people were moving and interacting around us. My colleague was barely responding to what I was saying. I felt my colleague was more interested in the people interacting around us and preferred to be with them.

In both of these experiences, I felt disconnected with the person. I also felt that the information I was sharing was not important enough. And I walked away both times feeling deflated.

Have you had similar experiences? How did you feel?

As a professional coach, I’ve learned how important it is to avoid being distracted by my own thoughts in order to be present with another person. As a leader, you need to do the same. When you are fully present with team members, you listen more deeply and also from a curiosity perspective. As a result, team members—like clients—feel heard, understood, and acknowledged. This leads to people feeling safe and secure in their partnership with you. It also increases trust.

Ready to increase your ability to be present with others? Here are four tips for getting started.

• Recap or summarize what the person is sharing. This forces you to listen for understanding and to be curious in your questions in order to understand deeply.

• WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) Stop yourself from prematurely forming opinions and responses. Instead, focus on quieting yourself.

• Do not multi-task. Give the person your full, undivided attention. If the timing is not good, schedule another time to speak with the person.

• Breathe.  In the beginning, spend a few seconds on your breathing to center yourself in order to be present. This will allow you to focus on what is most important at the moment—the person in front of you.

As a coach, I am keenly aware of the importance of being present with my clients. To alleviate distractions before a coaching call, I take conscious steps such as turning the volume off on my phone, closing down my email inbox, shutting my office door, and taking a few deep breaths to center myself. The key for a coach is making the client a priority and closing out everything else to be fully present.

How are you at being present with your direct reports, colleagues, and family members? Try these four tips. I’m sure it will help you in your interactions with others just as it helps me in mine.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

For individuals, change may result in new responsibilities, new roles, or new leaders. When coaching clients through organizational change, we see many concerns surface due to people’s feelings of uncertainty as well as the added stress brought about by the change process.

So what if your company is going through a period of change and you don’t have the benefit of a coach? The key is to figure out what is in your control. This usually begins by examining your thoughts and concerns about the change.

In our Leading People Through Change program at The Ken Blanchard Companies, we teach leaders that people go through six predictable stages of concern when they experience change. You can use these stages of concern to help identify and begin to address anxious thoughts you may be experiencing.

1. Information Concerns. You need to understand what’s going on. What is this change all about? Why is it needed?
2. Personal Concerns. You need to know how the change will affect you as an individual. What’s in it for me (WIIFM)? How will this change impact me personally?
3. Implementation Concerns. You want to know the details involved in implementing the change. What do I do first? How long will this process take?
4. Impact Concerns. You want to evaluate the benefit of the change. Is it worth it? Is the change going to make a difference?
5. Collaboration Concerns. Once you have bought into the change, you want to know how to get others onboard. Who else should be involved? How do we all work together?
6. Refinement Concerns. You see the need to continually improve. How can we keep making the change better?

Experiencing change can be unsettling for people. If change is happening in your organization, how are your thoughts serving you? Take control of what you can. Sorting out your feelings, determining the stage of concern you are in, and seeking out information that addresses your concerns will help you shift your attitude so that you are open to embrace change.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

As a professional coach, I work with leaders on various skills such as increasing leadership effectiveness, motivating team members, and accomplishing team goals.  The coaching discussions often center on how leaders can get team members to do what they need them to do.

Consider these serving leader approaches to five common leadership situations. Would direct reports identify you as a servant leader? (Keep in mind that people can only see your behaviors—not your intentions.)

Providing direction.  Servant leaders take responsibility for providing people with clear direction on goals, expectations, and tasks. They recognize next steps that may be clear to them may not be as clear to others.  They take the time to explain or reset vision, mission, and goals as needed.

Offering ongoing support. Servant leaders recognize that implementation is achieved through partnering and collaborating with others. A serving leader makes time to provide the day-to-day coaching people need to succeed.

Giving credit where credit is due.  Servant leaders recognize that effective leadership is not about them—it’s about giving others what they need to succeed.  As Ken Blanchard and Norman Vincent Peale stated in their book The Power of Ethical Management, “People with humility don’t think less of themselves; they just think about themselves less.”  Be quick to give others credit and praise when it is deserved.

Valuing both results and relationships. Servant leaders keep results and relationships in balance.  Through strong relationships, clear goals, and high performance standards, they lead at a higher level.

Making growth opportunities available for direct reports. Servant leaders use their position power to provide growth and advancement opportunities for others. They develop team members by bringing out the best in them.  They also provide feedback on a regular basis, which leads to continuous improvement for increased effectiveness.

Servant leadership is about serving others. Behaviors that align with a servant leader approach create enthusiastic followers, ethical conduct, high quality customer service, individual growth and development, and company success.

I challenge you to ask your direct reports for feedback on your leadership approach.  When leaders serve others, everyone succeeds!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

For example, one client I was working with wanted to say “no” to committing to weekly one-on-one meetings with a new direct report. My client did not feel she had the time to commit to another meeting due to competing priorities.  Plus, she wanted to accept a complex project that would increase her professional development.

During our coaching sessions we discussed the impact of her committing to weekly one-on-ones and how it might serve her, the direct report, and the overall department. My client soon realized it was her responsibility to provide support and direction to her direct report to help her be successful. She understood that saying “no” would negatively impact her as well as her direct report. My client also recognized that saying “yes” to meeting more often might eliminate some of the frustration she was feeling as her direct report was challenging her on requests while missing deadlines.

As a result of our discussion, my client committed to weekly one-on-ones with her new direct report to increase her competency in specific tasks. The “yes” response supported the direct report’s growth and development that led to the accomplishment of departmental goals. Over a period of time, the direct report needed less and less support and direction from her manager. This allowed my client more time to take on a complex project to increase her own growth and development.

How about you? Are you thinking through the implications before you say yes or no? Below are a few questions to ask yourself prior to making a knee-jerk decision.

• Who will benefit from this decision?
• What am I not going to be able to do if I say yes or no?
• Will this decision help me accomplish my goals or will it take time away from my efforts in reaching my goals?
• How much time will I need to invest?

What situations have you said yes or no to recently? Are the decisions you make increasing your leadership effectiveness? YOU have the power of choice to make conscious, informed decisions.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Here’s an example. Prior to having my son, my highest priority was excelling professionally. I worked all the time. I devoted 125 percent of my energy to my professional responsibilities. Once my son arrived—season change—his needs became my top priority. My laser focus on my professional career became less intense and fell to a lower position on my priority list.

Fast forward 17 years. My son is now more independent and does not need much from me other than money. I am transitioning into a new season and once more choosing to change my priorities. My outlook on life has changed as well. My focus is now on quality of life, balance, and enjoyment of family and friends.

I have coached many clients around transitions between personal or professional seasons. Some struggle with accepting the priority shifts that accompany these periods of change. Many want to keep an old norm as opposed to creating a new one. Successful transition must begin with recognizing the start of a new season. The next step is to identify and gain clarity on priorities. When you realize a new season is imminent, you can equip yourself to manage new priorities in a manner that will serve you and align with your values and goals.

Below are three ways to recognize you are in, or moving toward, a new season.

Major life events. Any major change to your normal daily routine—such as graduating from school, marriage, the birth of a child, divorce, a new job, or caring for an elderly parent—is a clear signal. These life events will automatically cause a change in priorities and create a new norm.

A feeling of imbalance, lack of motivation, or low energy. Any of these may be an indication that you are stepping into a new season and a change of some kind is taking place. For example, if you lack motivation and commitment in your current role, it could be a sign that your new priority is to be proactive with your manager in expanding your role. The new season is about you taking control by initiating conversations and exploring how to increase your commitment and satisfaction on the job.

A shift in perspective. A conscious decision is made to take a different approach—for example, deciding to focus on helping others achieve professional growth rather than on your own professional climb up the corporate ladder. The new season is about you accepting your level of success in order to support others.

Change is an inevitable part of life. Recognize when you are stepping toward, or maybe already in, a new season. Take some time to reflect on the new priorities and behaviors that will best serve you now—and create your new norm.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

As different as executive and leadership presence can seem, I believe there is great overlap between them. Key characteristics of both are authenticity, communication, emotional intelligence, the ability to connect with others, and the ability to be present. These qualities are needed for both executive presence and leadership presence to be used effectively.

Developing Your Leadership Presence

There are certainly a great number of books and columns that will help you on your outward executive presence, but here are three questions that will help you develop the internal side of the equation.

1. Are you here to serve or to be served? This is one of the most important questions for leaders to ask themselves. Your answer will drive your behavior and how you interact with people. If you are here to serve, your focus is on supporting others rather than using them to elevate yourself. Servant leaders have a better track record of success than ego-driven leaders.

2. What are your leadership beliefs and values? Your beliefs and values also drive your behavior. What is your belief about leadership and directing others? Leaders are more successful when they value things such as connecting personally and collaborating with people—habits that lead to better relationships and partnerships.

3. Do you effectively build trust in others? A solid foundation of trust allows for creativity, productivity, efficiency, and effective two-way communication. Here are four questions that can serve as a reminder. Are you able—do you demonstrate competence? Are you believable—do you act with integrity? Are you connected—do you care about others? And are you dependable—do you maintain reliability? (You can learn more about this ABCD trust model in this Blanchard white paper on Building Trust.)

Leadership is an inside-out proposition. Outward appearances are important—but gaining clarity on your values and beliefs, your intentions, and who you want to be as a leader will crystallize your internal executive presence. If you get it right on the inside, you will get it right on the outside. The most effective leaders have executive presence and leadership presence.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I worked with a client who was unsuccessful in communicating with upper management during the course of several meetings. His intention was to inform some high level managers about the positive and negative results of a recent project—information he believed the managers could use to benefit future projects.

My client staged a detailed slide presentation but was frustrated due to the managers’ lack of attention, which resulted in the topic being derailed. My client felt the managers not only didn’t see the information as important but also didn’t really hear his message. His style of communication was not effective.

Here is what I suggested as a starting point.

1. Know your audience. Think about the other person’s perspective. To help people be more receptive to his message, my client needed to adjust his communication style to be less academic and more conversational. He also learned to start with the main points of the information he wanted to share, provide additional details when asked, and speak from a strategic perspective.

2. Practice active listening. Active listening promotes a two-way conversation by asking questions and focusing on the needs of the other person. By doing this, my client could understand what was truly important to upper management regarding his project. He responded in a way that aligned with the focus of the managers and was able to change his perspective from a one-sided advising style to a two-way engaging style.

3. Have a clear purpose. What is your desired outcome for yourself and for the other person? Be clear about your objective. My client’s desired result for the discussion was to communicate to the managers exactly what he needed to be able to move forward with the project.

Effective communication leads to strong relationships, clear expectations, trust, problem solving, and knowledge. Use these three steps to enhance your communication today!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I kept hearing negative words from my client about himself and upper management.  My client was at the point of giving up and blaming upper management for not accepting his ideas.  He was definitely in an unproductive state of mind.   He was facing a brick wall due to his lack of confidence.

During our coaching session, a key question I asked was, “What would it take to break through this brick wall toward greatness?”

This question caused my client to pause for a minute and then finally say, “For upper management to accept my ideas.”  This led to my next questions. “What does upper management need to hear from you?  What approach would be most effective in delivering your ideas?”

These questions helped my client begin to expand his thinking and gain clarity on his natural approach versus the approach he needed to be effective.  As he considered other ways to deliver his ideas, he became surer of himself.  He began to plan to research additional information to support his ideas and identify a person who could give him feedback on his presentation.  He also thought about how he needed to portray himself in front of upper management.  My client realized he needed to be more assertive and take the lead—which was not his natural tendency—while still being authentic.  I could hear his self-confidence increasing as he begun to expand his thinking. He was moving toward greatness!

Through the coaching process, my client shifted his thinking, expanded his perspective, and stepped outside of his comfort level.  He was able to overcome his personal brick wall by identifying a plan of small, manageable steps in preparing for the presentation.  He accepted that he could be successful and was determined to do so.

Any Brick Walls Holding You Back?

Do you have barriers or self-made brick walls? Is it improving your self-confidence?  Developing a plan of action?  Shifting your motivational outlook? If you do, here are three strategies that can help you break through.

1. Increase your self-awareness. It is important to know your natural tendencies in order to intentionally alter them.  This puts you in control of your behaviors.  For example, if you have a tendency to let others take the lead in a group discussion, prepare yourself by having the information you need ahead of time to be more vocal during the next group discussion.  Or consider setting a goal for yourself to state your opinion in the first five minutes of the discussion.

2. Eliminate negative self-talk. Recognize no one is perfect, even you.  Change your negative words into positive words.  For example, instead of staying, “I am too shy to influence others,” say, “I can influence others through my tendency to be thorough and focus on the facts.”  Positive words will move you forward.  Continue to build on your strengths and find ways to develop other areas.

3. Take small manageable steps. You can accomplish anything by breaking the task or goal into small actionable steps.  For example, if you need to be confident in a presentation to upper management, the first step may be to speak to others who have done something similar for advice on the most effective approach.  The next step may be to create an outline based on the advice.  As you complete each step, your self-confidence increases as you continue to move forward.

Create a Different Structure

I believe we all have experiences building our own personal brick walls. And, we all have what it takes to knock them down.  The key is taking the time to self-reflect on your current behaviors and identify one small actionable step toward greatness.  It begins with one small step.  Take that step today!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.