Dear Madeleine,

I struggle with interrupting people—and I hate doing it. I usually realize it after it is done.

What are some ways to help me overcome this habit and make personal improvements?

Interrupter

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Dear Interrupter,

I applaud your self-awareness, which is always the first step to any kind of personal improvement. My first question is: how much of a problem it this for you? And how do you know?

You say you usually realize you have done it after the fact.  How?  Is it that you remember the look on someone’s face? Is it that you remember you cut someone off and now realize you want to know how they were going to finish their sentence? How often do you hear someone say “please let me finish my thought”?

Your first step, since you are already aware of the behavior, is to understand the impact it may be having on others.  If you can honestly say it doesn’t bother people, that is important data.  If you realize it might be hurting you or the projects you are working on because not everyone gets a hearing, that is another piece of data.  The clearer you are about the impact of the behavior and what it is costing you, the more you will be able to tap into the motivation to self-regulate.

The thing about interrupting—and almost any habit we want to curtail—is that it is triggered by something.  A few recognizable types of interrupting come to mind:

• Just excited: A common type of interrupting that springs from the excitement of a new idea.  This tends to be grounded in the best of intentions. Although annoying, it is forgivable. 
• Getting a word in edgewise: In many fast-paced environments, interrupting is the only way to get air time and everyone has to do it.  This tends to be a cultural feature and you are probably in good company. Survival tactics are forgivable—and, indeed, often required.
• In my own head: Another kind of interrupting is simple obliviousness to other people.  This tends to be less forgivable.  Taking notes is a good way to get out of your head and into the flow of conversation.
• Shutting people down: The kind of interrupting—when someone is saying something you think is simply stupid or irrelevant—is the least forgivable and will eventually affect your relationships and your success. The only way to shift this kind of interrupting is to examine your attitude about others and work to change it. This might uncover a bigger problem, such as you are on the wrong team or in the wrong job or you routinely judge perfectly competent people and find them wanting. Useful to know.

Can you find yourself in one of these?  The more you can understand what drives your behavior, the easier it will be to manage it.

The process that works for behavior change is to take the following steps:

1. Notice the behavior and the impact it has on others.
2. Decide that the behavior is making enough of a negative impact on your effectiveness with others that it is worth making the effort to change. Remember, it must be a choice.
3. Pay attention to what is happening when you engage in the behavior. Watch for the spark that sets you off.
4. Practice what you might do the next time a spark presents itself in a safe environment.  Specifically for interrupting, it might be as simple as putting your hand over your mouth.  If managing your energy is a problem, try doing something with your hands—knit, draw, needlepoint—anything that might help you to stay present. If you often interrupt because you get excited about an idea, always have a notebook on hand so you can make a note and not worry about forgetting your question or brilliant idea.
5. Share your quest to change your behavior with your colleagues.  This can only work with people you trust.  If you notice that you interrupt because that is the only way to get any airtime, you can ask the meeting leader to make sure all are heard. Sharing that you are working on your tendency to interrupt may also garner you some feedback about the impact you have.  You may find out that nobody minds—although that will probably not be the case.
6. Experiment. Be kind to yourself when you fail or when you try something that isn’t effective.  At least people will know you are trying.
7. Keep track of your progress and what you did when you were successful. Discard methods that don’t work and keep repeating what does work. 
8. Before long, you will notice you have made a change. Don’t let your guard down, though. Stay alert to what might cause a relapse.

I recommend you don’t try to change anything else about yourself while you are actively working on your tendency to interrupt.  Set your mind to making a shift and give yourself a good three months.  I’ll bet you will see a big difference.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is on holiday break this week and will return with new questions from readers beginning on January 7^th. While on break—and as we move into the new year, Madeleine suggested this advice she offered a reader looking for some help succeeding with New Year’s resolutions.  Use this link to see the original question and Madeleine’s complete response.

Join Madeleine next week for a new year of advice for well-intentioned managers! 

1. Pick one big thing. Probably the main reason people don’t achieve their goals—other than lack of deep personal commitment—is that they have set too many. So your angst that you may be loading up on goals is probably spot on. As you swing back to normal after a big holiday season, you are already behind, so you must manage your own expectations. Choose one big thing and let the rest go.
2. Get Support. Lots of it. Change is hard, no matter what it is—and if you’re trying to break an addiction like nicotine or sugar, it is doubly hard. The brain craves anything that causes a predictable release of dopamine, so you’ll need more support than you think you do. Tapering off can help, as can support groups, a buddy, keeping a journal, daily acknowledgment, or asking for help from your guardian angel or whatever you know to be your higher power.
3. Break it Down. You have one big goal. Break it down into small sub-goals or daily commitments. Ask yourself: What can I do, every day, to keep myself on track? Make a chart and check off something every day. (I’m sure there’s an app for this, but I’m committed to reducing my screen time, so I go with paper.)
4. Make it Compelling: Now let’s loop back to my first point, which is that you really have to care about doing the work to achieve your goal. You can’t do it for your spouse, your kids, your dad, or anyone else, no matter how much you care about them. So, choose something you really, really want. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t a big deal to anyone else, or if it isn’t going to make you a better person. If you really care, there is a chance you will succeed.

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Dear Madeleine,

I am at the end of my rope with all of the new software platforms my company expects me to use as part of my job. Every time I turn around, there is a new app introduced but never any training. Or, if the app itself does provide training, it takes time to watch the videos and learn—which means doing it on weekends or at night because I still have my job which takes up all of my workday.

The other problem is that some people I work with never bother to learn the new systems and continue to use the old processes. So instead of being proficient with the same amount of platforms, the number just keeps growing. My organization recently rolled out a new platform for one process only to realize it didn’t do everything they needed it to do, so they scrapped it and brought in another one. Those of us who took the time to sign up, get the lay of land, and start using it were literally punished for being good organizational citizens.

I feel like my brain is going to explode. I imagine this is true everywhere. How are people putting up with this in other organizations? I should note that I am a Millennial, so this isn’t a technophobe Boomer talking.

I can’t imagine you have any wisdom here except for “suck it up buttercup,” but at least I got to vent.

Can you help me to…

Manage the Madness?

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Dear Manage the Madness,

Considering I am suffering from the same systems whiplash, and I am a “technophobe Boomer,” you are right: I don’t have much for you on this. (Just for the record, I prefer the term digital immigrant to technophobe Boomer as a label. But don’t worry, I am smiling as I mention that.)

You are right, I haven’t talked to a single person who isn’t bedeviled by the overwhelming number of new systems and technologies to master. And, at least in my case, every one of them requires email and cell phone authentication and my company’s firewall makes that an adventure in total frustration.

I brought your topic to a couple of folks to get some ideas for you—although, again, you are right, there are precious few. But here is what I have for you:

• Maybe stop being such a good organizational citizen, and let others be early adopters when possible. Why can’t you be one of the people who stick with the old system until the company gets rid of it? If your experience is one of being punished, maybe take better care of yourself and lag with the rest of the laggers.
• Escalate your frustration to your boss or the executive team. If you are lucky, your organization has a CTO or a VP of Technology who might listen if enough people beg for some relief. Or maybe your organization will provide some kind of recognition for early adopters and possibly some training during the workday so that keeping up is seen as part of the job and not extracurricular.
• Lobby the powers that be to work with vendors of new platforms to go the extra mile and build in a single sign-on so all of the platforms are more easily accessible. (You didn’t mention this as one of your issues, but it sure is one of mine!)
• If you continue to be an early adopter, provide early feedback on the system to whoever is requiring you to use it. That way you might at least get recognized for your efforts.
• I have no problem with your venting, but consider venting to someone who can do something about it—like a senior executive who can insist that everyone get on board with new systems at the same time so you don’t have to wrestle with the old and the new.

Finally, much to my chagrin, I am pretty sure this type of thing is here to stay and is just another new fact of life. As I write this, there are developers madly coding new (“improved” haha!) platforms for us to have to learn. The only silver lining I can see—and, believe me, I remind myself of it often—is that all of this constant learning is good for our brains. As a millennial, that isn’t something you are concerned about yet. But if you are lucky, you will be soon enough.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

A new year is upon us. For many people, this time of year represents “out with the old, in with the new”—a new start or a new opportunity. I believe right now is the best time for self-reflection toward creating goals and identifying behaviors you need to become the person you want to be in 2020!

Imagine your desired future self. Who is the person you want to be? Is it someone who exudes executive presence, communicates eloquently, is a subject matter expert, is outgoing, or has confidence? Think big! Don’t limit yourself!

Next, what are the qualities you need to become this person? For example, would you like to be seen as charismatic, direct, self-aware, self-assured, sociable, empathetic, sincere, determined? It may help to think of the behaviors and qualities of a person you admire. Identify one or two behaviors to focus on to move toward your authentic future self.

Being your authentic self means being genuine and real. The way someone chooses to express confidence may be interpreted by others as cocky, fake, or power hungry. Be sure you are authentic and that you exhibit behaviors that complement your style. Let me share a story to help illustrate this point.

As an introvert, my natural tendency is to be a quiet observer and very guarded with what I say during a conversation. My goal is to be more outspoken and social. I once received feedback from team members who felt I was disengaged at times and who wanted me to share my opinions more often. I realized I was slow to respond and sometimes missed the opportunity to respond, which led to their perception that I was not engaged. I decided to make a change—and, most important, to do it in a way that was consistent with who I am.

I made an agreement with myself that I would start sharing my thoughts early in discussions, even if I did not have all the details or the time to process input from others before I stated my opinion. I gave myself permission to be vulnerable and uncomfortable with being more outgoing and outspoken.

Since then, I have been intentional with initiating conversations in social settings and speaking up during meetings and in group settings. I share my thoughts when appropriate, but I still engage through listening and processing what others say before I give my opinion.

Fast forward to today. During a large gathering of family and friends over the holidays, I was part of a discussion about the differences between introverts and extroverts, and being reserved versus outgoing. I stated I am an introvert, reserved, an observer, and not very comfortable in large settings. I was surprised to hear many state they disagreed with me. They gave me examples of when I was outgoing, displaying behaviors of an extrovert and a “social butterfly.” Looking back, I was happy I had accomplished an authentic behavior change, becoming more outspoken and social in a way that was still me.

How about you? Are you ready for a genuine change? Here are four steps to authentically change a behavior:

• Identify a behavior you want to change, such as shifting from timid to confident.
• Link the behavior to your values to be authentic. For example, being confident helps build positive relationships.
• Visualize the effectiveness of the behavior—a situation where you are confident and receive positive feedback from others.
• Create a plan of action. For example, be prepared for meetings, practice positive self-talk, learn presentation skills, etc.

It takes time, focus, and determination to change a behavior. But through self-awareness and being intentional with your actions, it can be done!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

What exactly does it take to achieve mastery?

It begins with clarity. Identifying the needed behaviors and actions to move toward mastery.

Be intentional and focused. It takes concentrated brain power to go against your natural tendencies due to deep pathways created in the brain. You must be focused in your actions.

Take risks. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable as you move toward mastery. Be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone to experience new behaviors, actions, and interactions.

Embrace change. Keep your eye on the prize. In Situational Leadership^® II we teach that being new to a task or goal requires extra time and effort; but as you progress and gain mastery, it becomes easier and easier as new natural tendencies are formed.

Learn from setbacks. Recognize that you will experience setbacks and what even feels like failure at times. The key is to learn from these challenges and to see them as learning opportunities that lead to mastery.

Be open to learn. An open mind sparks the creation of new pathways in the brain. Be open to making changes when needed based on experiences. Mastery is a journey!

I’ve made a commitment to myself for 2018 to do what it takes to achieve mastery in public speaking. I am confident speaking one on one, but I want to also be confident in front of a group. I have already committed to several speaking opportunities this year. Yes, I am nervous, anxious, and excited. But I want to achieve mastery for professional growth.

Repetition is the key. It will take time and dedication to achieve mastery. It will be uncomfortable. But I believe in myself!

Join me and shake it up to achieve mastery!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Coaches at Blanchard have learned a few things over the years about performance coaching.

• Instead of asking for help early, managers tend to either go it alone in trying to improve performance or they spend too much time documenting problems and talking to HR about their frustrations. By the time they call for a coach, they are hoping for a miracle.
• When performance coaching is done too late, it does not work. Often at this point an employee is interested only in seeking another position within the firm or even creating an exit strategy to get out of the organization altogether.

When we arrive late in the process to coach valued employees who are struggling with performance, we often find a seriously damaged relationship between boss and employee that simply can’t be repaired with a few sessions. In this situation there are 3 options.

1. Coach the employee – but with realistic expectations. Coaching does not offer a personality transplant. If the employee isn’t a good fit for the organization, recognize it, discuss it, and help the employee find a better fit.
2. Coach the manager – it is a better investment and can have positive impact on leader growth. Put the investment with the person who will stay, not the person who will probably leave.
3. Get clear about the ideal outcome. If the manager feels in their gut or heart that the employee’s performance will never be up to par, then do what needs to be done so all parties can move on.

The best time to work with a coach is well before performance slips far enough to warrant an improvement plan. If you really truly need and want to save an employee, review the information above and bring in a coach early on, when performance problems are still able to be resolved.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Here are 10 potential things to stop doing in the next year, and what to start doing instead.

Stop taking the monkey. Volunteering to take on problems that are not yours to solve or projects that somebody else should be doing is thankless and diverts your attention from the work that you are accountable for. It is one thing to occasionally step in to help out in a pinch, but it is another to feel constantly overwhelmed because you are stepping in where you shouldn’t.  If you find yourself doing this, start putting your hand over your mouth next time a call for a volunteer goes out and let everyone be uncomfortable in the silence until somebody else pipes up.

Stop booking every minute of the day. Research shows that people who take a minimum of 15 minutes in the morning to plan their day and an hour at the end to tie up loose ends are much more productive than those who don’t. Start booking those times out before they get booked by other stuff that is less important.

Stop keeping your head down and not developing relationships. Getting your work done is important but creating relationships with people who can help you get work done is even more so. Leave time as you come and go to stop and chat with people, make lunch and coffee dates.  Start making a list of all the people in the company you like and are interested in and reach out with invites.

Stop complaining. Yes, there are serious problems in the world and you have more work than you can do, but chances are you actually have a completely decent job and are safe at this moment. Moaning “Ain’t it Awful” never helped anyone – stop focusing on stuff you can’t control and start paying attention to what is  If you must, stop listening to the news and listen to podcasts or books on tape instead.

Stop using email for a dopamine hit. Scanning your email, texts and Twitter feed is not actually the same as responding to them. It is a habitual way to create a dopamine hit in your brain and it is wildly unproductive.  Start making yourself take breaks from your electronics.  Schedule time to look at and respond to email and texts. Don’t look at any other social media during the work day unless it is part of your job.

Stop ignoring administrative tasks. Doing HR paperwork and submitting expenses is about as tedious as work gets but the only person who suffers when you procrastinate is you. Start saving rote admin work for late in the day when your brain is shot—or even better, don’t let yourself do anything high value until the boring stuff is done.

Stop being indirect. Yes, it is hard to tell it like it is, or to say no when you need to. It is so much easier to keep your head down and your trap shut. Going along to get along muddies the waters and is the path to mediocrity. Start having an opinion. Once you are clear about what you are willing to take a stand for and why, practice making your case and then speak up and don’t equivocate.

Stop being too busy to learn something new. “I don’t have time” is an old story and rarely true. We are all constantly barraged with new operating systems, software, and apps. Start taking twenty minutes to watch a YouTube video on something that will help make you more efficient and your work easier and will keep you humming and relevant.

Stop multi-tasking. Split focus means no focus. There are some rote things you can do and multi-task: like driving a regular route, cleaning, knitting, crocheting, doodling.  But the minute you drop a stitch, spill the Clorox, or have to hit the brakes unexpectedly it’s all over and you will absolutely miss whatever is being said. Start deciding what you are going to focus on and for how long.  Set your timer for seven minutes to do a work burst, and shut your laptop when in meetings that you need to pay attention to.

Stop putting off your time off. Burnout is real. And the more burnt out you are, the less likely you are to realize it. If you notice that you are cranky, apathetic, or unusually emotional, you are probably burnt out. Everybody knows this is true, and yet somehow they think it is true for everyone but themselves. Start stepping away from work. Take your paid time off, even if you must check in an hour a day to stay relaxed.

One little change can make all the difference.  Use this stop/start list to identify a new habit for the New Year. Choose one thing and stick with it.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every other week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Then reality hits. Hundreds of emails, 22 meetings, and 17 “I just need a minute of your time” conference calls later and I struggle to recall what I was going to do differently. Where did I put my action plan? Oh, and that hour I booked into my calendar to take time to reflect and prepare? Well it just got sucked up by the boss asking me to (fill in your own situation here.)

The point is that we all have good intentions about applying learning—but those intentions can get waylaid by our work environment. What on earth might help? How can we get back on track?

Enter the coach. A coach will help you review what you learned and what excited you, and will discuss with you how to apply back on the job what you learned in training. A coach helps transfer learning from the classroom to the work environment in four ways.

• Accountability. Telling someone else what you are going to do is a powerful way to keep those intentions top of mind. A coach supports you in taking action to apply what you learned.
• Removing Obstacles. What is getting in the way of application? A coach helps you identify ways to overcome obstacles.
• Aligning Actions with Values. What makes this new skill important enough for you to apply the new learning? A coach will help you identify why taking action is a priority.
• Creating a Workable Plan. Finally, your coach will help you apply new skills incrementally, so that over time you will learn more, create new habits, and begin to see the results of your learning and application.

Don’t go it alone. Ask for a coach. A coach who is focused on supporting your learning will help you change your world by turning your learning experience into real action.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“No. It’s not a panacea,” says coaching expert Patricia Overland in an article for Chief Learning Officer. “Determining when coaching is a good investment can be challenging.”

Overland shares a couple of examples from her experience when a leader may not be ready to learn and apply coaching skills. Overland explains that offering coaching without addressing these underlying beliefs is usually a recipe for failure.

• If they prefer command and control: They just want people to do their jobs.
• If they don’t value innovation: They just want people to do things the way they’ve done them before.
• If they have a negative attitude about people: They believe that people only do what they have to.
• If they have a negative attitude toward coaching: They know all the answers and think coaching is a flavor-of-the-month methodology.

For those leaders ready for coaching, Overland points to a research study conducted by Human Capital Institute and The International Coach Federation which found, “A strong coaching culture positively correlates with employee engagement and financial performance. Nearly two-thirds of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures rate their employees as being highly engaged, compared to only half from organizations without strong coaching cultures. In terms of financial impact, 51 percent of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures report their 2015 revenue to be above that of their industry peer group, compared to 38 percent from all other organizations.”

To be successful at coaching, Overland identifies five must-haves that need to be in place:

Environment: Before coaching, managers should let direct reports know they’ll be doing things a bit differently. Set the stage, get permission to coach and check in frequently to ensure this new way of leading is hitting the mark.

Trust: Trust is a foundation for any coaching relationship. The manager’s role can be especially hard because they have both perceived and real power over direct reports. Getting people to talk openly and honestly about their needs, motivations and skill level takes patience, practice and trust.

Intent: It is important to begin by being very clear about objectives and goals. If a manager notices that coaching is going off track, they should examine their own motivations and beliefs. It can be powerful to say, “That didn’t go the way I intended” and start again, working to be more supportive and encouraging.

Action: Development is good. Development with focused action is better. The purpose behind great coaching is to influence some kind of change in mindset and behavior. Encourage others to take specific actions that are focused on achieving a desired outcome. This moves coaching beyond much disdained navel gazing to a strategy with real bottom-line impact.

Accountability: Leaders who use coaching skills help others commit to behavior change. Even with the best of intentions, people get sidetracked, work gets reprioritized, and sometimes life just gets in the way.

Coaching effectively supports long-term and sustained employee development encourages Overland. “Consider the higher engagement levels, trusting relationships and financial health to be gained from a shift to a coaching culture — and say yes!”

To read the complete article at Chief Learning Officer, click here.

When this scenario happens, despite your best intentions it’s likely the session materials—along with your new learnings—will end up on a shelf.

Does it have to be this way? No! What if you had returned to your workplace with the same pressing deadlines, and discovered that your company had assigned a coach to support you and help integrate your learnings back on the job. Wouldn’t that be helpful? You bet it would! In fact, people who get coaching to support new learning exhibit up to two-thirds more improved productivity than those who didn’t have coaching following their training.

Wondering how to get started? Here are three of the ways I work with coaching clients to help them apply what they’ve learned in class. Consider how these strategies could help your people.

• Stop and think about development. We don’t often have someone to brainstorm with regarding where we should focus our development time. One of the first things I do is create that space and environment. This helps my client sort out and declare their development goals.
• Recognize that it’s okay to be a learner. Most of my clients are high achievers. When they get back to work and start to apply what they’ve learned, they often wrestle with not having already mastered their new learning. Coaching can set realistic expectations and help the person embrace being a learner instead of internally berating themselves for not being an expert at the new material right from the start.
• Set aside practice time. Clients are often tempted to abandon what they’ve just learned because it’s too time consuming or too hard. I recommend that my clients identify one or two people to initially practice with. Once the client has practiced and gained some mastery, they are more comfortable rolling out their new skills on a larger scale.

The key to successfully providing coaching to support learning is to first help class participants carve out time and then provide a safe space for them to focus on applying new learnings in the workplace. Organizations that provide coaching to support learning signal that the training is important and that the company is invested in the person’s ongoing development. It also sends a subtle signal that the organization is expecting to hold the training participant accountable to use what they have learned.

Providing coaching turns a training event into a learning process. It makes the learning stick!  Could your people benefit from some coaching to support their learning? We would love to hear your thoughts.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

It’s a common experience, explains best-selling business author Ken Blanchard.

“Nearly all of us have made a New Year’s resolution and then not followed through. Why is it that most New Year’s resolutions don’t work? Two reasons—the first is that accomplishing the goal is tougher than we thought.”

The second reason? “We rarely get help from the people around us,” says Blanchard. “People smile and say ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ and then walk away to let us tackle the resolution on our own.”

If you’re already thinking of giving up on your fitness goal, Blanchard urges you to first ask for help from a coach or a friend—someone who will help you maintain your commitment to your commitment.  Then apply this 3-step process to give yourself the best chance of succeeding:

Set clear goals. All good performance starts with clear goals. Blanchard recommends the SMART approach, along with a compelling reason that motivates you to achieve the goal. “I had set a goal to become fit many times,” Blanchard explains. “But this time, I found a compelling reason to get healthy: my puppy, Joy. I was just turning 70 when I got her. Knowing dogs can live 15 years or more, I decided I needed to stay healthy through my mid-80s, so not only would I be around for my family, but also for Joy. Most people worry about outliving their dog; I worried about my dog outliving me!”

Diagnose your current status. Once goals are set, the next step is to diagnose your development level on each of the tasks related to your goal. Blanchard explains that your development level is a function of competence (your skills and experience) and commitment (your motivation and confidence.)

“For example, let’s say you’re excited about learning to lift weights but don’t know anything about it. That makes you an Enthusiastic Beginner—you have no competence but high commitment. You’ll need a lot of direction. But when it comes to eating healthy, maybe you’re a Disillusioned Learner—you lack competence and you’ve also lost your commitment. You’ll need both direction and support in this area.”

Get the help you need.  The fact that you have different development levels on different tasks or goals means you need to find someone who can provide you with the directive behavior or supportive behavior you need for each task or goal.

Drawing on his previous example, Blanchard explains, “As an Enthusiastic Beginner on weight training, you need specific direction—someone to tell you exactly how to lift weights. As a Disillusioned Learner on diet and nutrition, you need both direction and support—someone who not only will help you learn how to eat right, but also will listen to you and praise you as you change the way you eat. Enlisting a partner who will give you the proper amounts of direction and support will keep you accountable and reap great benefits. If your partner also has a goal similar to yours, that’s the perfect match—you can keep each other on track!

Don’t Go It Alone

Few people can accomplish a major life change by themselves. Ken Blanchard finally succeeded when he asked for help to achieve his fitness goals. He turned to a friend, fitness expert Tim Kearin, for direction and support.

Kearin helped Blanchard establish goals and diagnose his current state in six key areas:

1. Aerobics
2. Strength training
3. Balance
4. Flexibility
5. Weight control/Nutrition
6. Sleep/rest

“The only aspect of fitness where I was an expert was rest and sleep,” laughs Blanchard. “I can sleep anywhere! So that wasn’t an issue for me.”

But when it came to both strength training and balance, Kearin identified Blanchard as an Enthusiastic Beginner—excited about the idea of getting stronger, but needing a directing leadership style.

“In terms of aerobics, flexibility, and nutrition/weight control, Tim and I determined I was a Disillusioned Learner. I had started programs in these areas at various times over the previous 30 years but hadn’t kept up with them, so I was frustrated. In these areas I needed a coaching leadership style—which means I needed direction and also caring support.”

With Kearin’s help, Blanchard was able to finally make progress in all six areas.  And at the conclusion of the journey they wrote a book together about the experience—Fit at Last: Look and Feel Better Once and for All.

How about you?  Struggling with fitness goals?  It’s not unusual.  Consider Blanchard’s approach.  You don’t need a personal trainer—just someone who is willing to work with you to help you set goals, identify your development level and what kind of help you need on each goal, and then take the steps to achieve those goals.

It’s all about managing your journey to health and fitness—and committing to your commitment—with a little help from your friends.

PS: You can learn more about Blanchard’s journey here: Fit At Last book page.

When you find yourself in a leadership failure or debt, here are a few things you can do to get out of it:

First, own your leadership debt. You dropped the ball; you made a leadership mistake. It might have been a personnel decision, an ill-timed comment, or a lack of action on a situation that required your attention. Take responsibility.

Rebuild one step at a time. Attack the highest impact issues first. If people perceive you as a low-trust micromanager who can’t let go, start there. Begin with baby steps—don’t try to fix things overnight. Decide to first give small projects to your direct reports that they can handle and that you are comfortable with them managing. Start small and work on it over time. Practice giving clear direction and support.

Don’t repeat the mistake. This may sound simplistic, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is for some leaders to change the bad habits—lack of communication, mistrust, poor listening—that have stunted their leadership development. If needed, find someone who can help you be accountable.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore your leadership debt. Many leaders spend time blaming others for project deficiencies and low quality work. Frustration leads to complaining and then often to bitterness directed at the workgroup. No one wins in this situation and the problem still lingers.

In the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Drama – Someone who craves drama loves stirring up passion, adventure, and controversy to make their life more interesting or to create problems to solve. A drama addict can smell potential scenarios a mile away. This person enjoys the producer role and likes to create new opportunities whenever possible. Drama is very seductive.

Obligation – This is an excessive and unhealthy need to do good, help, or even crusade for someone or something. I am not suggesting that doing good deeds for others isn’t admirable; however, some people seek out situations where they will be seen as a hero. They crave the starring role of rescuer because it feeds their ego.

Worry – When someone sees the possibility of problem or disaster in any given situation and allows it to magnify in their mind, it’s an extreme form of worrying. This type of stimulation creates a high degree of friction within the person, causing the adrenaline to flow freely. Everyone has worries in their life, but this is more than that . This type of worrying is done at the cost of joy, creativity, and peace of mind.

Busyness – Compulsive busyness has become an epidemic in our culture. We seldom hear anyone say the words I don’t have enough to do or I’m not busy. And while many people moan bitterly about how busy they are, some seem to wear it as a badge of honor. They judge their value by their busyness.

So how do we help ourselves and others escape from these unhealthy obsessions? Here are ideas for how to break free:

Instead of Drama:

1. Spread good news, not rumors or gossip
2. Choose to be compassionate
3. Stick to the facts—refrain from embellishing

Instead of Obligation:

1. Learn to say No
2. Set clear boundaries
3. Make time in your daily routine to do something for yourself

Instead of Worry:

1. Praise yourself when you do things right
2. Celebrate daily what is going well
3. Ask others to be specific about their expectations of you

Instead of Busyness:

1. Make white space a priority in your schedule
2. Under-promise and over-deliver
3. Give yourself more time than you think you will need

As coaches, we are in a unique position of helping our clients recognize and overturn negative compulsions such as these so that they can achieve their full potential. We also have a responsibility to evaluate our own needs in these areas and take steps as necessary.With a little bit of work, anyone can break away from unhealthy, negative pursuits and move toward a more positive future.

About the Author

Judith Donin is a Senior Consulting Partner and Professional Services Mentor for North America with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Judith’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I was recently asked at a gathering of friends how I remained so positive. Did I have a secret daily ritual of beating up a punching bag? Did I release my stress by screaming at a stuffed animal? I said no, but I sometimes rely on my hobbies of movies and video games every once in a while when I want to let off some steam.

One friend gave a scenario where she was attending a training class. Someone at her table was behaving maliciously, criticizing others’ comments at the table and behaving as if the training was a waste of time. My friend angrily said she wanted to confront and attack this individual. But instead of reacting, the trainer leading the class encouraged this individual’s participation and even complimented this person’s correct answers. My friend was astonished at how patient the trainer was. And she said she saw that same patience in me.

I imagined what was running through the trainer’s mind in that situation. I mentioned that if I were in the trainer’s shoes, I’d be focused on creating a positive learning experience for the whole class. And that’s how I’d stay positive and patient. I said it’s all about perspective: Not focusing on the individual and the frustration that person is causing, but instead on the bigger picture; the task at hand; the goal.

In Covey’s 7 Habits, he mentions a paradigm shift he experienced on the subway when several children were being extremely disruptive. Out of irritation, he approached the father and asked him to control his children more. But then the father said that they were coming from the hospital where their mother had passed away and that they perhaps didn’t know how to cope with the loss. Covey instantly felt compassion and empathy instead of irritation.

In the same way, if you encounter a frustrating situation and find yourself becoming angry, it’s crucial to shift your perspective and focus. Difficult as it might be, think outside the box and try to imagine some of the hardships that are causing this person to behave this way.

Watch the following excellent video, “How to Remain Calm With People,” for more on this topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du035tg-SwY

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a large retail chain store and have been in the job about four years. Up until now, I thought I knew what I was doing.

I recently promoted an excellent worker to a supervisory position—and now I seriously regret it. All of a sudden, it’s like she is a different person.

She seems to be having delusions of grandeur and drunk with power. Every day there is a new disaster: most recently, she gave someone personal feedback that caused a storm of tears and then she somehow offended one of our vendors. She walks around the store as if she is trying to catch people doing something wrong so that she can yell at them.

I am shocked at this transformation. She used to be a stable, soft spoken, low key person. I feel I have unleashed a demon. I have promoted others with great success, but I am stunned and befuddled with this one.

Stunned

Dear Stunned,

Oh, I am sorry for you. Ambushed by a hidden personality—it is so unnerving. You must move very fast and nip this in the bud by going at it head on. You can let her go right now or you can give her a second chance. If you decide to give her another chance, be sure to be clear, concise, and direct.

Because you are a well balanced, sane professional, you expect others to be as well. Clearly, you thought the rules were obvious—but in this case you will need to make them explicit.

For example:

• No yelling
• No getting personal
• No name calling
• Correct the behavior, not the person
• Be kind

Make a list of every behavior she exhibits that is not working, and pair each with an example. Give her absolutely clear, step-by-step directions on the behaviors you want to see instead.

For example:

“When you observed Mary stocking the hiking boots in the wrong row, you started yelling about her inability to do anything right. I request that you simply, kindly redirect employees and correct mistakes without insulting them.”

Make it clear that you won’t tolerate meanness, a loose cannon, or a short fuse.

Give her only a short period of time to turn it around. Keep a record of every infraction and give her feedback each time. Let her know when she is down to her last chance and, if she crosses the line, let her go immediately. Your people will respect you all the more for it and will thank you.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a manager at a large commercial real estate company with nine people reporting to me. I really try to stay connected to them and I want the best for them. 

Recently, my boss came to me and severely criticized one of my people—and I understand his point.  “Pete,” the employee, is really smart and works hard. In a lot of ways he is an ideal worker.  But when he gets in front of a group, both internally and (worse) with clients, he starts running off at the mouth.  He gets going and he just can’t shut up.  He hijacks the conversation and doesn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise.  This recently happened in a meeting with my boss and things got out of hand. The weird thing is that it doesn’t happen when he and I are one on one, or even in our small team meetings. 

I have given Pete feedback on this problem before. But when I went to him to give him feedback this time, he broke down.  He knows he gets anxious and out of control. He has no idea what takes hold of him or what to do about it. 

All of the next moves for him and his career involve the kinds of situations that seem to set him off.  I am at a loss for how to help him. What can I do?  —Want to Help

Dear Want to Help,

Boy, is Pete lucky to have such a nice boss.  It sounds like Pete has a strong anxiety behavior that is going to tank his career if he doesn’t get a grip on it.  The good news is that the first step is awareness. Both you and Pete have that, and you already have opened a dialogue about it.  So there is real hope here. Some thoughts for next steps:

• Most large companies have excellent Employee Assistance Programs. Pete would really benefit from working with a behavioral therapist who can help him both identify the triggers for his offending behaviors and practice strategies for self regulation.  Most EAPs offer between six and ten sessions, so Pete could make real headway with a competent professional.
• Research supports that the practice of mindfulness is an excellent stress management technique and there are many free resources available for the truly motivated.
• You can work with Pete to prepare for his next meeting by getting him to take deep breaths and asking him to simply be aware of his anxiety. You can also help him to come up with a measurable goal for his behavior. For example, “If I can’t say what needs to be said in one sentence, I will not say it.” This works well for many people who interrupt, wax on inappropriately, or overreact to colleagues.

Good luck to Pete, and to you.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Blanchard recommends that goal setters increase their chances of success with New Year’s resolutions by applying three of the principles of Situational Leadership^® II (SLII^®) to the process—goal setting, diagnosis, and matching. Using his own experience in setting goals for managing his physical health, Blanchard shares how we can all apply a situational approach to our planning.

Goal Setting

All good performance starts with clear goals. Blanchard recommends the SMART approach along with a compelling reason that motivates you to achieve the goal. “I had set the goal to become fit many times,” Blanchard explains. “But this time, I found a compelling reason to get healthy: my new dog, Joy. I was just turning 70 when I got her. Knowing dogs can live 15 years or more, I decided I needed to stay healthy through my mid-80s, so not only would I be around for my family, but also for Joy. Most people worry about outliving their dog; I worried about my dog outliving me!”

When it came to making sure his goals were SMART—specific, motivating, attainable, relevant, and trackable, it was very helpful for Ken to have the direction of his trainer and Fit at Last coauthor, Tim Kearin. By taking Ken’s measurements and monitoring his progress bit by bit, Tim saw to it that Ken’s goals were achievable.

Diagnosis

Once goals are set, the next step is to diagnose your development level on each of the tasks related to your goal. Blanchard explains that development level is a function of competence (your skills and experience) and commitment (your motivation and confidence).

“It was important for me—and it will be important for you—to realize that you’ll need different leadership styles, or help, depending on your development level on each task.

“For example, suppose your New Year’s resolution is to become physically fit: strong, lean, aerobically conditioned, and flexible/balanced. Let’s say you’re excited about learning to lift weights. That makes you an enthusiastic beginner in strength training—you have no competence but high commitment. When it comes to weight control, you may be a disillusioned learner—you not only lack competence but you’ve also lost your commitment. In the area of aerobics you could be a capable but cautious performer—you know how to use a treadmill but your commitment fluctuates with your mood. And if you’ve taken yoga for years, in the area of flexibility and balance you would be a self-reliant achiever—both competent and committed.”

Matching

The third step Blanchard explores is matching. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, matching means finding someone who can provide you with the directive behavior or supportive behavior you need, given your development level on various tasks.

Drawing on his previous example, Blanchard explains, “When you’re an enthusiastic beginner in weight training, you need direction—someone to tell you what, when, where, and how to lift weights. As a disillusioned learner about diet and nutrition, you would need both direction and support—someone to listen to you and also praise you as you change the way you eat. As a capable but cautious performer in aerobics, you don’t need much direction but you do need support—an accountability partner—to get on the treadmill or jogging path. Your passion for yoga makes you a self-reliant achiever in the area of flexibility and balance, so just keep hitting the yoga mat!”

Enlisting a partner who will give you the proper amounts of direction and support, and help keep you accountable, can reap great benefits. And finding someone who has a similar goal to yours is ideal—you can keep each other on track!

Don’t Go It Alone

Few people can accomplish a major life change by themselves. Ken Blanchard finally succeeded when he accepted more direction and support to achieve his fitness goals.

How about you? How much direction and support do you need to succeed? Don’t go it alone—find someone who can help you push through the giddy enthusiastic beginner, paralyzing disillusioned learner, and apprehensive capable but cautious performer stages so that you can reap the rewards of becoming an autonomous self-reliant achiever!

You can read Ken Blanchard’s column, Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work, in the January issue of Chief Learning Officer magazine.

Want to get the most out of your leadership training investment? Here is a three-step process using coaching to support learning that helps leaders  master new skills after they complete a training program.

1. Start with valid feedback. Use a validated assessment to identify the leader’s strengths as well as areas that need improvement. Be sure the information you are starting with is credible in the eyes of the leader.  It can be difficult for someone to make behavioral changes if they have any doubt about the accuracy of the information.
2. Focus. Review the training materials and the assessment data and identify a few carefully chosen areas to work on in coaching. Customized attention to a relevant business need creates direct application of learning.  Focused sessions with a coach provide the opportunity to practice new responses, which helps a leader build skills and confidence.
3. Use a coach as an accountability partner. To support the learner’s practice and mastery, plan on at least two or three phone coaching sessions within eight weeks of the leader’s training sessions. Doing this allows the learner to not only get the dedicated focus of how to apply new concepts but also use their coach as their accountability partner. The leader/learner can sharpen their skills between coaching sessions.

Make sure your organization is getting the most out of its training dollars. Using a coach provides an opportunity for the leader to master newly learned skills while it gives the organization a way to improve communication, relationships, morale, and the retention of good people.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In the new issue of Training Industry magazine best-selling business author Ken Blanchard outlines an effective 7-step process for redirecting behavior that is off-track.  Drawing from his just released book with Spencer Johnson, The NEW One Minute Manager, Blanchard shares a model for leaders looking to provide feedback in a way that helps people learn and see what they need to do differently.

Re-direct the person as soon as possible. Do a re-direct as soon as you become aware of the mistake. When you catch mistakes early on, you can give feedback in small doses and the person can learn from it.

Confirm, review, and be specific. Review what went wrong. Make sure the goal you originally set with the person was clear. If it wasn’t, take responsibility for that, and clarify the goal. Specify exactly how the person’s behavior didn’t support your mutual goal.

Express how you feel about the mistake and its impact on results. Don’t attack the person, but do share how you feel about it. Sharing honest emotions about what you see going wrong—as well as concern about the possible negative effects on results highlights the importance of the work and your shared responsibility for succeeding.

Be quiet for a moment.  Allow people time to feel concerned about what they’ve done. Once you’ve told the person how you feel, pause for a few seconds to let it sink in. This quiet time is surprisingly important. It gives the person a chance to feel concerned about their mistake and think about the impact it might have.

Remember to let them know you think well of them as a person. Now your focus turns from the behavior to the person. Let them know that they are not their behavior; they’re the person managing their behavior. Assure them you think well of them personally. Tell them you don’t expect a repeat of that mistake and that you look forward to continuing to work with them on the goal.

Remind them that you have confidence and trust in them, and support their success. No matter how delicately you’ve redirected someone, they may still be feeling defensive. By reaffirming that you value and appreciate them, they’ll be more apt to learn and less prone to rationalize or blame somebody else. When you walk away, you want the person to think about what they did, not talk to a coworker about how they were mistreated.

Realize that when the re-direct is over, it’s over. The re-direct only takes about a minute, and when it’s over, it’s over.

Blanchard shares that handled well, redirection can be a learning experience for both leaders and direct reports. By refocusing on the goal, together you can strategize how to align performance with the desired result. And because the situation ends positively, it can help you forge an even stronger relationship.

What’s your approach to redirecting unwanted behavior? You can read more in Ken Blanchard’s column, Leadership 2.0.  It appears quarterly in Training Industry magazine.  To learn more about Blanchard’s book with Spencer Johnson, visit The NEW One Minute Manager book page.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a fairly experienced manager. I have worked in several different companies and am nicely settled at my current job. I learned Situational Leadership^® II at my last company and I have been using it with my ten direct reports.  It is working out well.  

My company has recently instituted a set of manager competencies that I will be held accountable for. I’m running into a problem with one of them—Coaching for Development. 

Here is how it is defined on our HR website:

This is actually my favorite part of the job—except with two people on my team who don’t seem to care at all about developing themselves. I have tried to encourage them but they refuse to engage in conversations about their own growth and careers. 

They are both very good at what they do. I really need them in their roles but I don’t see them doing anything outside their job description any time soon.  I am tired of pushing and prodding them and they are also getting cranky about it. I am frustrated.  –Tired of Pushing 

Dear Tired,

Stop. Just stop. I so appreciate your care and diligence—but seriously, you have led these horses to water and you just cannot make them drink.  People are ready to grow when they are ready and not a moment sooner.

Communicate to your two recalcitrant folks that when they are ready to develop themselves you are at their service for direction and support, and leave it at that.

If the time comes that staying relevant in their jobs requires them to grow, let them know that they will need to change their attitude or risk losing their jobs.  This is usually a powerful motivator, but even then not powerful enough for some. Your employees have an obligation to meet you at least halfway when it comes to development. Until then, relax and expend your energy on those who value it.

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

– You don’t want people to think you are bossy and you don’t think people like to be bossed around;

– You’re afraid of damaging the relationship or demotivating the employee so you don’t give developmental feedback;

– You’re so sympathetic and empathetic to the needs of individual employees that you—perhaps inadvertently—put them ahead of the needs of the team or the business;

– You have such a high value for fairness that you treat everyone the same way regardless of competence or skill level;

– You have such a high need for freedom that it blinds you to the fact that not everyone has the same needs;

– You’re simply incredibly patient and kind;

OR…

– Maybe you’re a wuss—defined by Dictionary.com as a weakling or wimp.

The first step to changing is awareness. I once had an employee tell me that I was a wuss because I was being blatantly taken advantage of by someone who was lying about a health situation. I had been giving the person the benefit of the doubt only to find out that I was, in fact, a complete patsy. Now I understand why HR requires managers to get doctors’ notes.

If this is you, you may already know it because people (your best friend, your spouse, your kids?) have told you.

Are you conflict averse? Training seminars with titles such as Challenging Conversations are available, as well as some wonderful books including Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud and The Coward’s Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight by Tim Ursiny.

Perhaps you have a core personal need to be well liked. This is certainly understandable, but if you feel this may be the case, just acknowledge it to yourself and make a concerted effort to get that need met at home and with friends rather than at work.

Ultimately, wuss behavior easily can become a habit and a default. Keep in mind that it is possible to be empathetic to others while still advocating for your own position. Half the battle is simply understanding this and giving yourself time and permission to do so.

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Some research conducted by Gail Matthews, a professor of Psychology at Dominican University in California can help those of us who might be concerned (and could use a little boost) to set the odds in our favor.

Dr. Matthews found that people who do three things when they set goals can increase their chances of goal success from 43% to 76%.  Here’s what she found out in conducting a research project with 149 adults from various businesses, organizations, and business networking groups on completing a project, increasing income, increasing productivity, getting organized, enhancing performance/achievement, enhancing life balance, reducing work anxiety or learning a new skill.

• Those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals. (+18 percentage points)
• Those who sent their commitments to a friend accomplished significantly more than those who wrote action commitments or did not write their goals. (+21 percentage points)
• Those who sent weekly progress reports to their friend accomplished significantly more than those who had unwritten goals, wrote their goals, formulated action commitments or sent those action commitments to a friend. (+33 percentage points)

Wouldn’t it be great to achieve 76% of the goals we set for ourselves in 2015?  Write down your goals, send them to a friend, and then set a time for weekly progress reports.  It’s work, it’ll take some time, and you’ll be making yourself vulnerable and accountable—but you’ll also be setting yourself up for success!

It is said that we are all actors on a stage. Whose script are you acting out?

Each of us has been given a script to play based on a combination of our genetics (what we inherited) the way we were raised, and our current environment. We can either live out those scripts, or we can choose to write and act out our own new script. We also have ability to make rewrites to our scripts along the way. BUT, writing and living new scripts is an act of self-leadership and, as Mr. Rogers said, can be hard work.

How do you go about writing a new script for your life? Here is a simple two-step process I learned a number of years ago that has made a tremendous impact in my life:

Step 1: Identify your key roles. 

Most people have several roles they play in their lives – as a family member, a worker, a community member, etc. A role is a key relationship, an area of responsibility, or a contribution you make. Some roles are life-long, such as a parent or family member. Others are seasonal like a baseball coach. Take a moment and identify five to seven key roles that you play. Try to limit your work roles to no more than two.

My current roles include companion, father/grandfather, family member, facilitator, client partner, and mission leader.

Step 2: Write an aspirational statement for each role.

An aspirational statement defines who you want to become in that role. One method of developing an aspirational statement is to imagine your 80^th birthday party. For each role, think of a key person you interact with and imagine what you would want them to say about you as they stand up and share the impact you have had on their life.

For example, this statement describes the father I desire to be:

“Our father loves us unconditionally. He supports us in our lives’ activities. He teaches us correct values and models them in his behavior. He plays with us and shows his love for us in his actions.”

I’m sure my children would say I’m not there yet, but hopefully I’m closer today than I was ten or twenty years ago.

As you start the new year, I encourage you to take some time away from the day-to-day grind of life and write your own script. Next month I will share some ideas for how to live out your script.

Let me know your thoughts or any questions you have on writing your scripts. Remember…

“You didn’t have a choice about the parents you inherited, but you do have a choice about the kind of parent you will be.”  ~ Marian Wright Edelman

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance, productivity, and self-leadership.

We will soon read all sorts of advice about how to set our New Year Resolutions, how to avoid letting yet another gym membership go to waste—and for some of us—how to avoid getting crazy during the holiday season.  That sort of thing.  Given all that we have read so far this year, haven’t we already had enough?

We in the management psychology field are no different.  We pile on extra helpings of advice just like everyone else.

From the consultants, to the newspaper columnists, everyone has good intentions to make your job and life easier and more successful.  But, maybe we should all just say, “enough.”  Aren’t our mental plates already full?

What I notice principally about all the year-end advice is how little of it is new.  It’s like idea leftovers from last year reconstituted with some fresh spin to wash it down.  I wonder why that is.

One hypothesis is that we writers are not aware of the repetition.  We simply fall into the same patterns of habituated thought that our columns throughout the year try to help us break free of.  I’m sure this is true a lot of the time.  I know it is for me. 

Another hypothesis is that on some level we realize we haven’t learned the lessons yet.  One of my spiritual teachers told me years ago, “If you don’t get it this time, don’t worry.  You’ll get another chance.”

So here I am, blessed with your attention and faced with the annual temptation to reconstitute some old advice about how to survive, or handle, or manage to enjoy, or stay centered (or sane) during the fiscal and calendar year end that many of us (me included) haven’t really integrated yet anyway.

But, here I will try to avoid that temptation to scoop another spoonful of advice on your already full plate.  You have read it all before.

I have learned that when I learn to say when, I realize that I already have enough.  And I believe you do, too.  We all do.  You don’t need to read them again.  You already “know” all that you will read from here until the end of the year.  All that’s left is the decision on what do to with it.

Happy Year End.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

A common leadership challenge I hear in our workshops is: “How do I lead when I don’t have authority?”

Even when we do have formal authority, we often need to influence up and across the organization. But should we use our authority to coerce others to do what we want or need them to do? I believe the answer is a resounding no, except in two situations:

1. In a crisis or emergency—there is no time to influence right now.
2. As a last resort—when you have tried everything to influence, it isn’t working, and “no” is not an option.

Think about those times when your boss used position power to get you to do something. How did you respond? How did it make you feel?

Having autonomy—a feeling of choice—is critical to motivation. When we use position power to get something done, we remove the other person’s sense of autonomy. We may or may not get compliance, but we rarely get commitment.

One key way to influence, whether or not you have authority, is to develop personal power with those you need to influence. Personal power is a product of the trust and respect others have for you based on your actions toward them. The more personal power you have in a relationship, the easier it is to influence. Think of people you truly trust and respect. When they ask you to do something for them, you rarely think twice about it—you just do it.

Four key behaviors can help build your personal power with others:

1. Take the time to truly listen—and listen to understand (see my prior post on What Does It Mean to Truly Listen?).
2. Be authentic—make sure your actions align with your stated values.
3. Treat everyone with respect—not just those you want to influence, but everyone you interact with.
4. Keep commitments—develop a reputation for follow-through.

When you need to influence without authority—or even with it—remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“What you are shouts so loud in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”

What other thoughts do you have about influencing without authority?

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.

Here’s a question I have asked in numerous workshops over the past few months: How many of you have had formal training in listening?

It never fails to stun me when only about 10 percent of the attendees raise their hands. Listening is such a critical skill—and yet so few have been trained in how to do it. Here is a short course.

What does it mean to really listen?

Dictionary.com defines the word listen as follows:

lis·ten [lis–uhn] verb

1.  To give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing

2.  To pay attention; heed

Yes, it means to hear; but it also means to pay attention—with our ears, our eyes, and our hearts.

Listen to more than the words

True listeners look beyond the words themselves—they search for meaning in the speaker’s tone and body language. This is especially important when the communication has an emotional component.

A study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA looked at the degrees to which emotional messages are sent through words, tone, and body language. Regarding the true meaning of an emotional message, Dr. Mehrabian found:

• 7 percent of meaning is in the words that are spoken
• 38 percent of meaning is in the tone of voice—the way the words are said
• 55 percent of meaning is in facial expression

If what we are hearing is different from what we are sensing from the tone or the facial expression, guess which one is correct! 

Show You Are Listening

Part of really listening is responding in a way that shows the other person we are paying attention. We can demonstrate we are truly listening in four different ways. For example, if a coworker comes to you and complains about their micromanaging boss, you could show you are listening by:

• Reflecting back the content

Example: As you see it, your boss is micromanaging you…

• Reflecting back the feeling

Example: So you feel frustrated because…

• Reflecting both content and feeling

Example: You feel frustrated because your boss is micromanaging you…

• Being silent and attentive

A helpful phrase to show you are listening might be:

So you feel ___________________ because ______________________.

Other helpful phrases might include:

• You seem…
• You sound…
• What I’m hearing is…
• As you see it…
• Tell me more…
• Is there anything else…

Not only is listening to others a key life skill, it can also have a tremendous impact on building trust in a relationship. When we take the time to listen, we show the other person that we care—that we are interested in understanding their perspective. That can go a long way toward building, or rebuilding, a relationship.

“The purpose of life is to listen – to yourself, to your neighbor, to your world and to God and, when the time comes, to respond in as helpful a way as you can find …  from within and without.”          ~ Fred Rogers

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.”               ~ Wilson Mizner

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.

In an extreme case, maybe they actually punished you for offering an opinion that they didn’t want to hear. In fact, at some point in the “conversation” you actually wished you could close that open door, because with it open, the whole world could overhear the public flogging you were receiving for voicing your honest opinion.

Ever been there?

For starters, decide that you are not going to behave that way. Decide that you are not going to be the kind of leader whose door may be open, but that’s the only thing that is.

People are understandably uncomfortable dealing with opinions different from their own. It is an unusual person who looks forward to hearing what they didn’t want to listen to in the first place. And we all learn that it just isn’t worth the risk of being candid with others, particularly if they’re more powerful than we are. In short, political behavior trumps productivity improvement.

So what can you do to address this? Here are three recommendations:

1. It’s about opening your mind, not your door. Force yourself to listen to what people are telling you. As they’re talking, keep telling yourself that there is at least something correct in what they’re saying. Listen for it. Unfortunately, many of us do the opposite: we listen for the weak link in the logic chain of what people are saying. It’s fun, isn’t it, to suggest an improvement to someone else’s viewpoint or plan. It makes us feel good about our contribution, our value added, our incredible wisdom, insight, and—now that you mention it—genius. But are we reducing the personal commitment level of the person we’re talking to? And is a 5 percent improvement of the strategy worth a 20 percent reduction of the activation energy it will take to get the idea off the ground?

2. Your door may be open, but you don’t have to know everything about what’s going on.  The only thing worse than not having an open door policy at all is having one, and there are people standing in your threshold all the time. Make it clear that you want people to take responsibility for doing the right thing, not sharing it with you. Decisions should be made at the lowest operational level, by people who are closest to the action. You’re not protected by a policy that was made by someone who isn’t involved in what’s happening right now. If you are executing on something that you think is bad, even though the order came down from the top of the organization, you are abdicating your moral responsibility. Napoleon said such a leader should be seen as a criminal.

3. Tell people you really do want their best. A strategic use of the open door can be quite helpful. But you want spontaneity and candor. You want it with the bark on. Political correctness is of course appropriate, but it should be used sparingly. The focus here is getting the job done, to specification and on time.

Open doors should prompt people to collaborate appropriately, not abdicate their responsibility. These should be occasional opportunities to give and receive feedback and suggestions. Properly used, they can expedite progress. But improperly used they can be more trouble than they’re worth. As Drucker said, more or less, “So much of what we call leadership consists of making it harder for people to do their work.”

About the author

Dr. Dick Ruhe is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read his posts here on LeaderChat the fourth Saturday of each month.

The question they were asking was, “How do we keep our people motivated?”  I asked why they think they have an employee motivation problem.  They explained that while same-store and company-wide performance has been terrific, it is slowing, and some employees are becoming less enthusiastic.   Those employees are becoming more frustrated when they do not delight a customer and earn a sale.

“What do you currently do when an employee gets upset that they did not fully satisfy a customer?” I asked.  One regional sales manager explained that they talk with the employee about things the employee could have been done better.  After all, I was told, “the employees need to be accountable for the results.”

The most important detail here is that the employee in that example works in a successful store, and is already disappointed to have not delighted a customer.  The sales associates—often in their late teens and early twenties, and highly skilled—take great personal pride in delighting customers.  The managers said they work hard to make the in-store experience fun for their child customers and their parents.  So, the motivational question here is: What are the best ways to help a salesperson (or any employee) who is already eager to delight a customer do it better in the future after they fail to meet a high standard held by both their organization and themselves?

First, let me say that the accountability approach is the last appeal you want to make.  No matter how skillfully we parse it, and no matter how sweetly we explain the situation, the accountability discussion is a thinly veiled form of control.  It says very clearly: You are responsible for this and I need you to really get that. Do you understand?  I have met very few employees who walk away from accountability discussions feeling good about themselves, their managers, and the company.  Instead, try using a less controlling, autonomy-supportive approach.

Here are some methods you might consider.  Research shows these approaches are much more likely to stimulate positive motivational responses than emphasizing accountability.

1. Take the employee’s perspective.  Listen carefully to the employee’s experience so you understand it deeply.  In this case, recognize that the employee is already disappointed and desires to do a great job.
2. Encourage initiative and choice.  Help the employee discover several new options for future action.  Be careful not to tell them everything they need to do.  Encouraging initiative means listening and guiding first and foremost, not pushing your formula.
3. Help the employee take on more challenge—but not too much.  One or two more challenging steps at a time will generally work well.
4. Provide a logical rationale for any direct requests you have.  They need to make their new actions their own.  The more you push the less likely they will experience optimal motivation. 
5. Minimize use of pressuring language and controlling tone of voice.  Dialing down fear, concern, and pressure is vital to tapping into the employee’s natural desire to improve, grow, and perform at high levels.

All of the above approaches have been shown to result in positive behavioral responses because they help people feel validated, safe, and free from unnecessary controls.  They are like honey to accountability’s vinegar.  After all, which would you prefer?  Honey or vinegar?

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

For example, even if you are familiar with the differences between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation, it hits home when you see examples of how setting intrinsic goals not only gives you a greater probability of achieving them, but also experiencing self-actualization and sustainable vitality.

On the other hand, extrinsic goals, more often than not, lead to depression and unhealthy physical symptoms. Regretfully, the goals most of us set are extrinsic goals–both personally and professionally.

What can you do differently?

Focus on setting intrinsic goals such as…

• Personal growth (improving listening skills or practicing mindfulness)
• Affiliation (nurturing a mentoring relationship or enhancing relationships with others)
• Community (contributing to something bigger than yourself or making a difference)
• Physical health (losing weight as a means for increasing energy or changing your eating habits as a way of lowering blood pressure)

Avoid extrinsic goals relating to…

• Social recognition such as increasing Facebook friends or LinkedIn contacts to improve your social or professional status
• Image and appearance such as losing weight to look good at your reunion or losing weight to be more attractive
• Material success such as earning more money, buying a powerful car, or moving to a prestigious neighborhood

Prompt intrinsic goals for others

Managers, teachers, and parents need to gain goal setting skills that prompt intrinsic goals based on optimally motivated, higher-level values. Individuals will benefit, but more importantly, it is a way to immediately begin shifting the values practiced in our organizations, educational systems, and communities.

If you find yourself challenging these notions, it is probably because most of us are conditioned to believe that setting goals for things we want (or think we need)–such as obtaining more money and the stuff we can buy with it–are part of “the secret” to success.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of research studies by the family of Self-Determination Theory thought leaders are proving that conventional thinking is simply wrong-headed. The real secret is that extrinsic goals do not provide the energy, vitality, and sense of positive well-being required to achieve most goals. And even if you happen to achieve the extrinsic goal, it doesn’t yield the sustainable joy, happiness, satisfaction, or energy you thought it would.

But perhaps more importantly, there is an undermining effect with extrinsic goals. In other words, extrinsic goals (social recognition, image and appearance, material success) tend to extinguish a potentially intrinsic experience. What we really yearn for is something we cannot buy or achieve through extrinsic goals.

As I sat in dozens of research presentations, I was thrilled with the compelling evidence demonstrating how the quality of the goals you set determines the quality of your experience. As a leader of others, if you remember that the value behind the goal determines the value of the goal, it can open up a distinctly different approach to setting goals that becomes a powerful and sustainable mechanism for positive well-being, engagement, and employee work passion.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

One time my wife asked me if I had tried one of the new purple beans with the green flecks. I couldn’t have tried them; I never really saw them. But how does this happen?

There is a switch in our brains called the Reticular Activating System. A tangle of neurons and fiber in the spinal cord, the brain stem, and the mid-brain, it helps us reduce all incoming data down to a few chunks of information. We don’t feel it happening, but all day the RAS is making subconscious choices. Should we focus on this or on that? And we have a lot of decisions to make. In one second, we experience over 100 million bits of data. They are constantly coming in through our senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and feeling.

As you are viewing this blog, other things are also within your range: the wall, outside noise, the odor of fresh coffee, the light level, an itch, etc., and perhaps a fire in the room. You can’t possibly make go/no-go decisions on all of these distractions. Filtering incoming information is a big part of why the human species has survived. Our forebears stopped etching pictures on the cave wall if they heard or felt the presence of a tiger. They didn’t go through a logical search for a solution. They moved. And if your RAS senses a fire in the room, you move too.

The good news is that you can help “set” the RAS: your own and others’. If you are consciously considering the purchase of a Corvette, you will automatically notice them on the highway. You actually see other cars, but you won’t remember them, just as I saw the purple jelly beans with the green flecks, but didn’t recall them. If you’re in a store looking for a certain color of clothing, you filter out the other colors and immediately connect with only one. Hundreds of choices, but few of them get much consideration.

The challenge is that we do the same thing at meetings. When people are talking about something that captures my attention, I can stay focused on that subject matter for quite a while. On the other hand, other agenda items may not make it into my conscious thinking at all. Have you ever “zoned out” for a while and realized that the last five minutes were a total mystery to you? So the trick is to decide what your RAS should select.

Here are ways to help the Reticular Activating System enhance your capacity to lead and be led:

• Balance thoughts and emotions. “I don’t like the current strategy, but other people apparently do. Even though I am skeptical, I will actively listen for the benefits of going the other way.”

• Be there. “When I let myself be distracted, I miss out on important issues.” Daydreaming effectively shuts down your RAS.

• Take action. “Let’s put a stake in the ground.” The RAS takes notice of tangible data. It is more convinced by early wins than by opinions. Franklin Roosevelt used to say that we can’t do everything, but we can do something.

• Reinforce incoming data. “This matches up with other information I have.” Our brains can only hold about seven chunks of information, and for less than a minute. Memories are volatile. We have to repeat and connect in order to retain.

The Reticular Activation System is real. Take advantage of it to help yourself and others move forward.

About the author

Dr. Dick Ruhe is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read his posts here on LeaderChat the fourth Saturday of each month.

These facts should sound really familiar to us.  They probably feel familiar, too—unfortunately.  The purpose of such articles—and this blog—should be to stimulate our determination to improve the situation.  But how?

The thing about engagement is that you can’t go at it directly.  You have to work on the many conditions—some of which we used to call working conditions—that contribute to employees feeling stressed, fearful, and disinterested in the work.  And Blanchard’s research into Employee Work Passion and Optimal Motivation can be really useful to you here.

But, more than discussing the 12 factors that you can improve to help employees feel genuinely passionate about the work and the company, I want to encourage you to contemplate where your heart is.  And for that exploration, I’d like to ask you to contemplate these three questions—and read one book:

1. What do you want from your employees?  List the top ten things you want—or maybe even expect from them.
2. What do you want for them?  In your heart of hearts, what do you want them to experience at work?  What kind of experience do you want them going home to their loved ones having had all day long?
3. What differences are there in the tone of the two lists?

I have run this simple experiment dozens of times throughout the world.  The lists are always the same.  And there is always a difference in the tone and “vibe” of the two lists.

The key idea here is this:  If leaders don’t make the shift from fixating on demanding more and more and more from employees without regard for their well-being, no one will ever get out of the disengagement vortex they are in.  We will just read another article about it next year.

What is needed more than anything is the soft stuff.  More warmth, more emphasis on the deep meaning of one’s work, more discussion about values linkages, more love.  Yep.  More love.

If that last point strikes you as a little crazy, check out Tim Sanders’ Love is the Killer App.  It’s a wonderful read…and perhaps the best gift I can give you today.

This heart shift is a vital part of the strategy to improving the motivation and engagement of your employees.  If you want them to shift their energy and be more engaged, shift your heart and love them more.  Then, pour that love into improving the environment they work in.  Our research shows that they will notice, and they will naturally turn that noticing into improved engagement.  Funny how that love thing works…

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

But what happens if the environment is altered and obstacles are added? Researchers experimented with just that by lowering a glass barrier into the aquarium separating the pike on one side from food fish on the other. When the pike goes after a nearby minnow, it runs into the invisible divider. And after a while, the pike stops trying.

But this gets even more interesting. The observers next remove the glass, and the pike continues to avoid going after its natural food.  The learned behavior is so strong that some pike have actually died of starvation during the experiment even while minnows continue to brush up against them.

This same type of learned behavior can sometimes be seen at work. It’s a learned helplessness that occurs when you, or someone with influence over you, decides that something can’t be done, or perhaps in the case of business, can’t be done right. In short, the Pike Syndrome is a debilitating situation.

For example, if someone approaches you for feedback on a project or job they’ve been working on, and rather than emphasizing what was done well, you point out what could have been done better. Even if you were right in your critique, almost inevitably there are potential negative consequences.

Or, possibly you are the type of manager who tells people, “If you’re doing your job, you’ll never see me.” When that’s the case, good work goes unrecognized and it is only shortcomings that draw a response from the supervisor.

When good performers experience that type of environment, they learn to avoid their leader’s dissatisfaction rather than risking new behavior that might lead to better results. In the longer term, it may be difficult for them to unlearn that.

So avoid being part of the problem. Give your people their best chance to succeed by removing barriers to performance.  Next, acknowledge them when they are making progress. One more thing … it’s critical to get your own behavior in line, before you can help others to do the same.

About the author

Dr. Dick Ruhe is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read his posts here on LeaderChat the fourth Saturday of each month.

They also look at why some leaders inspire people to work together effectively, while others cannot.

The pivotal ingredient in both cases?  Trust

Drawing from Ken Blanchard’s latest and brand new book, Trust Works! Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships (co-authored with Cynthia Olmstead and Martha Lawrence) Blanchard identifies four components that either build—or bust—trust with people.

The four attributes are:

• Able—does the leader Demonstrate Competence
• Believable—does the leader Act with Integrity
• Connected—does the leader Care about Others
• Dependable—does the leader Maintain Reliability

Blanchard identifies that, “The ability to build trust is a defining competency,” and he recommends that leaders take a two-step approach to evaluating their trustworthiness—beginning  with a self assessment.  To make this easier, Blanchard provides a link to a free online tool www.trustworksbook.com

The self-assessment gives leaders a chance to see if their actions might be contributing to low-trust relationships through behaviors that are seen as less than Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable.”

Second, Blanchard recommends that leaders ask colleagues and direct reports to evaluate their behavior as well.

“What you learn about yourself can be eye-opening,” says Blanchard. “Many of us are unaware when our behavior is eroding the trust of others around us. What seems like acceptable behavior to us may be causing a friend, spouse, boss, employee, or significant other to feel downright wary.”

As a case in point, Blanchard shares a story about his own experience using the assessment and how he discovered that his staff scored him low on being Dependable.

While Blanchard knew he had trouble saying “no” to requests and liked to say yes to others as much as possible, he didn’t realize it was a problem until he learned that, because he said “yes” to so many things and overcommitted himself, he was sometimes regarded as undependable.

Using the assessment and the Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable framework, Blanchard and his team were able to discuss Ken’s “trust buster” trait. Together the team was able to develop solutions. As a result, today—in addition to being careful about not over-committing himself—when  Ken goes on trips he doesn’t take his own business cards. Instead, he gives out the cards of his executive assistant, who can make sure Ken has the time and resources to follow through before he makes commitments.

How are you doing on trust?  Are your behaviors consistent with your intentions?  To read more about Ken and Scott Blanchard’s thinking on this topic, be sure to check out, Do Your Employees Trust You?

In the workplace as well as other areas of our lives, we sometimes encounter people who apparently are stuck in the mode of complaining and unwilling to move toward resolution.  I have discovered a simple process to help complainers move from whining to action.

1. Hear them out. First, hear them out one more time. When they complain again—and you know they will—take the time to listen to them, giving them your full attention and energy. It is best to do this in a private setting where neither of you will be distracted.

2. Summarize their issue. Next, when you are sure that you understand the problem at hand and the other person feels heard, interrupt them if necessary and gently say, “Let me make sure I fully understand.” Restate the situation and their frustration as you see it. For example, if they have been complaining about being micromanaged, you might say, “What I’m hearing is that you are frustrated because your boss is micromanaging you.” Get their agreement to your summary—but do not let them continue with their rant.

3. Help them consider their options. Now ask this magic question: “Understanding that this is the situation, what are your options?” In a best-case scenario, they will have some ideas and you can help them come up with an action plan. Chances are, however, that they are too stuck to think of any options. If so, lead with some ideas of your own and solicit their feedback. Either way, help them consider their options and decide on their next steps.

4. Make them accountable for next steps. To add an element of accountability, at the end of the conversation summarize the agreed-upon action plan. Ask the person when they plan to take the first step and set up a date and time to check in with them

What do you do if, despite all your efforts, the other person refuses to move on and seems as if they want to stay stuck?

At this point, I suggest a few options:

• Try to help them understand the effect being stuck is having on them and on those around them. Hopefully, you can stir them to action.
• Refer them to someone else for counseling. Perhaps the HR department has some options for them.
• Remember to take care of yourself. It may be time to ask yourself: Is this relationship worth the emotional drain I experience each time we are together?

I hope these thoughts help you to move others to action. Let me know any other ideas you have to help others get unstuck.

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.  You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of each month.

You may need to think again.

It seems that using these enticing incentives to motivate yourself results in a suboptimal motivational outlook that ultimately leaves you without the energy to follow through on your weight loss plans—especially if you are a man.

We now have significant proof that financial motivation does not sustain changes in personal health behaviors—and, in fact, may undermine them over time. What’s more, financial motivation negatively affects men’s efforts over time more than women’s. Rewards may help you initiate new and healthy behaviors, but they fail miserably in helping you maintain your progress. Shortly after the incentive is gone, you revert back to your old ways.*

So why do over 70 percent of wellness programs in the U.S. use financial incentives to encourage healthy behavior changes? Here are three potential reasons:

• If you are not pressured into losing weight, but invited to participate in a weight-loss program that offers small financial incentives, there is a likelihood you will lose weight—at least initially. But studies reporting weight loss success were conducted only during the period of the contest. They didn’t track maintenance. But recent studies show that just twelve weeks after the program’s incentives end, most or all of the weight is regained.
• Financial incentives are easy (if expensive).
• We haven’t understood until recently the true nature of motivation or how to effectively use the latest science of motivation to help people shift to an optimal motivational outlook that sustains effort and results over time.

It turns out that rewards and incentives are the fast-food of motivation—they give you a kick and then send your energy plummeting. To initiate and maintain a healthy lifestyle, you need the equivalent of motivational health food. Satisfying your basic psychological needs for A-R-C (Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence) is more likely to help you achieve your goals and feel good enough about the results to maintain them.

Great! But how do you shift from a suboptimal motivational outlook—and the ease and enticement of motivational fast food—to an optimal motivational outlook where you flourish by satisfying your healthy psychological needs? Part of the answer lies in learning the skill of Optimal Motivation. Here are three ways to start:

1. Notice when you use phrases with the words have to in them:  I have to lose weight. I have to eat healthy. I have to have a salad instead of fries. I have to is a subtle but significant sign that you are feeling a loss of freedom. Your need for choice—your perception of Autonomy—is being undermined. When you have to do what the diet demands, the thing you crave is autonomy. Ironically, the way you exercise your autonomy is by eating the fast food you had restricted yourself from eating. The act of banning the bad stuff makes you want it even more!
2. Realize that you love yourself and your health more than you love the fast food. This is the power of Relatedness. In this case, you can consider fast food either literally or symbolically (winning the mini-iPad).
3. Recognize the sense of positive well-being that comes each time you make a choice to do the best thing for your health. This positive feeling comes from your mastery over the situation—experiencing your Competence.

So the next time you are invited to join a program, lose weight, and win a mini-iPad, go ahead and take up the offer—but don’t do it for the iPad. Instead, do it for deeper values and the sake of satisfying your Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence. The iPad is no longer the carrot, but simply a symbol of your flourishing.

What do you have to lose? Weight. What do you have to gain? Health and a positive sense of well-being. Oh, and that mini-iPad!

References

* Moller, McFadden, Hedeker, and Spring, “Financial Motivation Undermines Maintenance in an Intensive Diet and Activity Intervention,” Journal of Obesity, Volume 2012, Article ID 740519.

Deci and Ryan, “The ‘What’ and ‘Why’ of Goal Pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior,” Psychological Inquiry (2000) Vol. 11, No. 4, pp 227-268.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

The Power of Autonomy

In complementary terms used in the Optimal Motivation program, when we experience high quality autonomy at work (as well as relatedness and competence), we are more likely to be more creative, more positively energetic (as opposed to relying on stress energy) and more easily focused on accomplishing any task or goal, no matter how short-term, tactical, and mundane—or long-term, strategic, and magnificent.  While leaders repeatedly report they want such creativity and focus from employees, employees repeatedly report how difficult leaders often make it for employees to feel those things.

For example, during a recent keynote presentation, several frustrated participants offered detailed examples of policies, procedures, and both overt and tacit cultural rules that make it difficult for them to feel free, creative, and positively energetic as persistently as the work demands.  Nonetheless, a traditional leader response to such frustration is to tell the employees to stop complaining and adjust in some way so they feel less frustrated.  Of course, by all means let’s all learn how to source our own sense of autonomy no matter what we are faced with.  As if on cue in that conversation, one participant made precisely that a point by citing Viktor Frankl’s experience in a concentration camp as evidence of the kind of transcendence that is possible even in the most extreme environments.  It’s a story to live by, to be sure.

Leaders Stepping Up

But, I think we also should be talking about the extent to which managers and executives actively step up to the challenges of changing policies and procedures—and organizational systems—that foment such frustration.  Too many executives take a “deal with it” stance, rather than a stance of “let’s look into how we can modify or change this so you don’t have to spend so much mental and emotional energy coping with it like that anymore.”

Willing executives could see such a response as adding moral substance to their leadership, since it would shift from focusing only on what the executives want from employees (to just deal with it and get on with the work) to focusing more on what they want for their employees (a work environment that makes it easy for employees to autonomously commit themselves to meaningful, high quality, and high volume work.)

Leader, Would You Like to Shift?

Blanchard research shows that employees generally respond positively to this leadership upgrade with greater intentions to work at above average levels, to endorse the organization, and to stay with the organization longer.  So, with such employee and organizational advantages, managers and executives, what have you got to lose?

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

“It’s where we choose our behaviors and then act according to how we choose. But in order to keep our brain operating effectively for ourselves, we have to keep our prefrontal cortex nourished and well-rested,” explains Homan-Blanchard.

“Our prefrontal cortex is a resource hog in terms of glucose and rest. Its performance is also impacted by hydration, exercise, and sleep. In some ways it’s like a gas tank. Every decision we make—from the mundane to the most critical—uses up a little bit of gas.”

“That’s why it is so important to know yourself and know how to schedule certain kinds of activities when your brain is going to be at its best. You want to schedule planning, brainstorming, and other creative activities while your brain is fresh. What you don’t want to do is schedule a meeting or a challenging conversation where you’re going to have to use a lot of self-control at the end of a brutal day.”

The one time when no answer is the best answer

Roy Baumeister, professor of psychology at Florida State University and co-author of the best-selling book, Willpower, says that the people who are known for making the best decisions are usually considered the most well-balanced and the smartest people. But, he notes, what may be really be true about those people is that they just know when not to make to make a big decision.

Homan-Blanchard echoes that opinion and also has some advice for couples.

“You know the old adage that in marriage, you shouldn’t go to bed angry? Well, that’s wrong—especially for couples who work a lot, have kids, and have bills piling up. Having a serious discussion, and trying to reach resolution to an argument, late at night, is really a bad idea.”

So is forging ahead when someone comes running into your office demanding a big decision at 6:30 in the evening when you’re packing up and walking out the door, explains Homan-Blanchard. “The only decision for a leader to make in that position is to wait until the morning, because, chances are, you are not capable of making a good decision in that moment. Unless you’ve previously thought about it, made the decision, and just haven’t reported it back, that’s different. But if you actually haven’t made the decision yet, it is unwise because it simply won’t be the best decision.”

Three strategies for better decision-making

For leaders looking to improve the quality of their thinking and decision making, Homan-Blanchard recommends a couple of strategies.

1. Set limits. Identify your best times for creative, innovative, and challenging work situations. Create, protect, and utilize those times for your most difficult tasks.
2. Create processes and routines. The more routine that you can create for yourself, the more “gas” you can save for other decisions.
3. Practice extreme self care. Don’t underestimate the importance of proper rest and good nutrition.

Clear, calm, well-reasoned thinking is a hallmark of all good leaders. Don’t forget the physical dimension of mental processes. Take care of your brain so it can take care of you.

To read more of Homan-Blanchard’s thinking and advice check out her complete interview here.  Also take a look at a webinar that she is conducting on April 3, The Leader’s Guide to the Executive Brain.  It’s free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Can you determine at least three important take-aways in this story from a plant manager in India who recently learned the skill of conducting Motivational Outlook Conversations?

On his first day back after his training, the plant manager noticed a Technical Service Executive in the lab having a discussion with an external contractor. While she was wearing safety glasses, the contractor was not. The manager has a no tolerance policy as far as safety is concerned and his normal response would be to call the technician to his office and in his words, “read her the riot act.”

According to the manager’s self-assessment: “I am known to blow a fuse (or two) when safety rules are flouted, however, I managed to keep my cool and decided to test my training.”

He asked the technician to his office and could see that she was worried about his reaction. But instead of leading with his dismay and disappointment, he started by explaining that he had just received some training on motivation. He shared key concepts with her. He then asked her if she thought that the rule to wear safety glasses, even when there was no experiment on, was “stupid” as there is no danger to the eyes. Did she feel imposed upon to wear safety glasses as she had no choice?

Since the technician was invited to have a discussion rather than “dressing down,” she was open and candid. She explained that she had a two-year old child and she was extremely concerned about lab safety as she wanted to reach home safe every evening. To the manager’s great surprise, she also shared that in certain areas, she would prefer even more, not less, stringent safety measures. For example, she suggested that safety shoes should be required for lab experiments that are conducted at elevated temperatures.

But when it came to wearing safety glasses when no experiments were being conducted, she just could not understand the rationale and did, indeed, resent the imposed rule. As a result, she didn’t feel compelled to enforce it, especially with an external contractor. The manager said he understood her feelings and went on to provide the rationale that the intention was that wearing glasses would become a force of habit, just like wearing a safety belt in the car.

The manager said he saw the light dawn in her eyes.

When it comes to your leadership and the motivation of those you lead, consider:

1. Self-regulation is a requirement if you want to lead differently—and better. Challenging your natural tendencies and patterns of behavior provides you with more options on how to lead. The new choices you make can be rewarding and productive for you, but especially for those you lead. As the plant manager reported: “I am sure if I had just followed my normal instincts and given her a piece of my mind, I would have been met with a hangdog look, profuse apologies, and a promise not to ever do this again. And it probably would have happened again. She would have gone away from my office with feelings of resentment and being imposed upon and I would also have had a disturbed day due to all the negative energy.”

2. Admit when you are trying something new. Be honest about expanding your leadership skills. People will appreciate your sincere and authentic efforts. Says the plant manager: “Suffice it to say that in my view, my little experiment was a success. I have since shared what I learned with many of my team members and plan to have more Motivational Outlook Conversations with them in the coming weeks.”

3. Remember that as a manager you cannot motivate anyone. What you can do is create an environment where an individual is more likely to be optimally motivated. Ask (and genuinely care about) how a person is feeling, help them recognize their own sense of well-being regarding a particular issue, and provide them with rationale without trying to “sell” it.

Other take-aways? Please share!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

Last week, I was invited to Orlando to deliver a speech at one of the Disney resorts. I had been working and traveling all week and showed up at 11:00 p.m. I was greeted at the car by Loren, a uniformed man with a welcoming smile and a genuine interest in how long and how far I had traveled to arrive at their establishment.

Loren passed me to a gentleman with an electronic tablet, Tom, who walked me to reception (probably so I wouldn’t get lost) and introduced me to a desk clerk named Jenna. She gave me my room key, directions for the quarter-mile walk to my room, and a schedule of nearby events that would be taking place during my stay.

Upon completion of her tasks, Jenna called over a bellman, Travis, and asked if he could show me to my room since it was so late. Not only did Travis walk me there, he found out what I was doing at the resort, chatted about my speech and, upon learning that I had forgotten to make some copies, offered to get them made for me and leave them at the front desk. He absolutely radiated care and concern.

What did all of these interactions have in common? Service providers who:

• were genuine;
• desired to help me;
• had the ability to act on what they knew to be true;
• knew what their job was and how well they were doing; and
• were confident in their ability to make a difference.

We need to ask ourselves five questions to effectively serve our internal customers (our people) so they can deliver on the promise we share with our external customers:

1. Am I genuine with my people?
2. Do I clarify my expectations about how to serve customers?
3. Do I build competence by sharing information and teaching skills for success?
4. Do I value the unique contributions made by each person?
5. When people are competent in a task, do I build confidence by asking them for their ideas before sharing mine?

Customer service is an inside-out issue. Wowing external customers begins by wowing internal customers. What can you do to build competence, confidence, and energy in your people?  Model the behavior you want to see to create a positive work environment that drives praise from customers like me, who so appreciated the kindness and care I was shown.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read Vicki’s posts as a part of our customer service series which appears on the first and third Thursday of each month.

That has turned out to be very good advice over the years, and I find the same is true for leaders in organizations.  Managers can only get away with so much before their team members are going to start believing their leader’s actions more than their words.  When it comes to serving customers, I have found the best managers are the ones that not only praise and acknowledge their employees when they serve their customers well, but are also role models of the behaviors they would like others to emulate.

A case in point

A perfect example of this happened recently when I went with my college age son to open an account at a bank.  His primary bank did not have any branches where he is going to college, so this was going to make it easier for him to access his money (all $250.00 of it.)  Once we sat down and he explained his situation to the young woman helping him, she proceeded to explain the various options available to him as a college student with limited funds.  After agreeing on the type of account that would best fit his needs, she then asked if he was interested in opening a credit card.

At first he said “no,” explaining that he didn’t want to be tempted to spend money he didn’t have. But after we discussed it for a few minutes and I shared that I thought it was a great way for him to start establishing credit, he agreed and the young woman started processing the credit card as well.

Now, I could stop at this point with the story (it had already been a very nice experience) but what happened next was what really impressed me.  You see, at that moment, another woman walked into the cubicle, introduced herself to my son (not me) and said, “I am the Branch Manager here and I just wanted to thank you for opening an account with us today.”

She then went on to tell him that she overheard our conversation about whether or not he should open up a credit card, and she complimented my son for his consideration of NOT getting a credit card—she was impressed with his thoughtful decision instead of just rushing into opening a credit account.

She also went on to praise the young woman that was assisting my son and told him that he was in the best of hands with her taking care of everything.  I was impressed to see that the Branch Manager—while acknowledging me as she spoke, was really there to welcome my son (a new customer).

3 takeaways for leaders

So what can we learn from what the Branch Manager did that day?  Here are three takeaways that I found valuable for leaders:

1. Be a good role model of the behaviors you expect from others in the workplace and demonstrate them through your actions.
2. Be a cheerleader for your team members—acknowledge their efforts not only to them, but to the customer.
3. Always remember to thank the customer for their business and don’t let their age discount them as a customer.  Customers have choices and when they choose to do business with you, you want them to know you appreciate it.

I know my son felt special and taken care of by all of people at the bank starting with the Branch Manager.  Remember, people are always watching when you least expect it, so make sure your behaviors are following your good intentions.

About the author:

Kathy Cuff is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read Kathy’s posts as a part of our customer service series which appears on the first and third Thursday of each month.

I often hear, “You are so disciplined.” My response is: “Not at all. Despite loving meat and fish, I have never waivered.” Don’t get me wrong–in the beginning I risked my health because I hadn’t learned how to compensate for a meatless diet. And there were times when the lack of vegetarian options frustrated me (and still do). But being a vegetarian has never come into question. Still, with so many people asking me how I made the dramatic transition, even I wondered, “Why has this been so easy?”

All these years later I think I have an answer, if not the answer. I truly believe this answer will help you and me to embrace any significant change or adapt an important new behavior.

The answer begins by not focusing on discipline! The nature of discipline is to make yourself do something you don’t want to do. The implication of discipline is that you feel imposed, forced, or obligated to do something and must dig deep to train or control yourself into action. The need for discipline puts you at a suboptimal starting point. I think there is a better way: The skill of Optimal Motivation.

Activating Optimal Motivation shifts your focus from what you don’t want to do, to what you want to do. Three elements of Optimal Motivation include:

• Recalling your developed values and sense of (work or life) purpose
• Recognizing how the change or new behavior satisfies your basic psychological needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence
• Reflecting on your sense of positive well-being that comes from changing or adapting a new behavior.

I didn’t realize it 30 years ago, but I had naively used the skill of Optimal Motivation by tapping into my values and purpose for being a catalyst for good, satisfying my psychological needs by making a choice that deepened my relationship with all living things, and instead of focusing on what I was giving up, experiencing how good it felt to do what I was doing. The only thing that could have derailed my successful change effort was my lack of competence. But learning about nutrition became a priority so I could continue with those positive feelings. No discipline required.

So my question to you is this: If you have Optimal Motivation, do you need discipline? Or is discipline a signal that you are embarking from the wrong starting point? Maybe discipline is simply what others say you have when you act based on your values, purpose, and basic psychological needs of autonomy, relatedness, and competence.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

Their conclusion?

“Cutting yourself off, or choosing not to focus on the people side of the equation, can—and will—be a problem that will impact your development as a leader.”

Have you inadvertently cut yourself off from your people?  Many leaders have.  It’s usually because of time pressures, or a single-minded focus on results—but sometimes it’s also a conscious choice to create “professional distance” that allows you the emotional room to make tough choices.

That’s a mistake say the Blanchards. “The best working relationships are partnerships. For leaders, this means maintaining a focus on results along with high levels of demonstrated caring.”

They go on to caution that, “The relationship foundation has to be in place first. It’s only when leaders and managers take the time to build the foundation that they earn the permission to be aggressive in asking people to produce results. The best managers combine high support with high levels of focus, urgency, and criticality. As a result, they get more things done, more quickly, than managers who do not have this double skill base.”

Don’t limit yourself—or others

Don’t limit yourself, or others, by focusing on just one half of the leadership equation.  You don’t have to choose.  In this case you can have it all.  Create strong relationships focused on jointly achieving results. To read the complete article—including some tips on getting started—be sure to check out Getting Your Team Emotionally Engaged Is Half The Leadership Battle. Here’s How To Do It

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As a virtual team member, unequal access to information and a feeling of being left out can erode your trust and lower your emotional commitment—two critical factors for overall team success.

Yet when you are a dial-in participant, pushing for inclusion without sounding like a whiner usually isn’t worth the effort. As a result, unless they are called on to participate, many virtual team members give up and simply listen to the meeting while they read and answer their email.

Don’t let this happen to the virtual members of your team. Here are three ways to keep your virtual teammates engaged:

1. Go completely virtual. Meetings where everyone is virtual will force better habits such as “around the room” input and sending reports in advance so everyone has access. Make sure each meeting agenda deliberately includes time for everyone to participate in the lively chat necessary for this social team approach.
2. Use a buddy system. If you must have some in the room and some out, assign every virtual team member a “buddy” in the room. Set up additional communication modes such as instant messaging or chatting between buddies. This way, the virtual team member can ask questions without disturbing the whole group and each person calling in has an advocate who can send last-minute documents, describe what is happening, or intervene when necessary for clarification.
3. Consider creating a cardboard Carl/Caroline. One creative team leader I worked with created large, cardboard-backed photos of each virtual team member. The visibility of a cardboard Carl or Caroline in each meeting provided great humor and increased engagement. “Caroline looks like she has a question.” “Let’s ask Carl what he thinks!” These are fun and natural ways to ensure all team members stay visibly engaged and emotionally committed to the team. Other teams use an empty chair with a name, or a name tent—but there is something about a photo that adds life to the meeting. Be aware, though, that your virtual team member may ask for a cardboard photo of you and the rest of the team—that’s a good thing!

We all have attended deadly team meetings, and most of us probably have neglected a virtual team member, inadvertently, at least once. Keep your virtual team members engaged. Try one or more of these strategies and bring life and energy to your next virtual engagement!

About the author

Carmela Sperlazza Southers is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. Her posts on increasing organizational, team, and leader effectiveness in the virtual work world appear on the fourth Monday of every month.

The total program included modules around personality, values, organization vision and alignment, leadership style, high performing teams, change management, and motivation—the gamut.

This final module consisted of five one-hour-long group presentations about various aspects of their learning journey and its impact on people, process, and results. We asked about personal insights, how they applied their learning to real work, and what the human and economic impacts were of such application. And finally, in terms of their development, we asked them what they wanted to do next.

In terms of roles, the “what’s next” question revealed an array of ambitions. One wants to be CEO within 10 years. Another wants to lead the expansion of engineering capabilities in the African subsidiaries. And a third sees a future in corporate strategy with the aim of improving how global change initiatives are conceived and executed.

What was most beautiful was not the ambitions themselves, although I often feel their gravitational pull compelling me to double-check my own goals and velocity toward them. Instead, the most heartening aspect of their ambitions was how they promised to approach them.

Reduce Pressure to Go Fast

Whereas in the past, on their way to greater roles and responsibilities, these executives would have passed the pressure they received from their bosses to others in direct proportion—or even amplify it—now they realize that pressure often does more harm than good. The motivation research shows that pressure is easily internalized as a form of control, which then undermines a person’s eagerness to perform an act voluntarily and with an optimistic sense of purpose. In other words, pressure creates a negative Motivational Outlook, which slows the pace and quality of work in the moment and in the long run.

These executives also described how they helped even very senior employees build additional competence faster than before, and how those employees then displayed increased confidence that they could handle even more-complex projects. It was nice to hear, too, how the quality of their relationships improved as a result.

Executives take a lot of heat—much of it deserved—for leading as if people do not matter much. So, I decided to share this with you because I wonder what you think when you read about executives who have dedicated themselves to leading in challenging times with boldness, grace, warmth, ever-increasing skill, and maturity. How does it inspire you or catalyze new thinking about how you lead?

It was a privilege to watch these leaders commit to a truly human—and humane—approach to leading others, and to see that by actually doing it things are already improving for them and everyone around them. Sometimes it is nice to take a break and simply enjoy watching people flower and shine right in front of our very eyes. I thought you might enjoy that, too.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together  with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

I started experiencing back pain around the time I turned 50. When I went to the doctor she told me, “John, you are at that age where every morning you will wake up with pain somewhere.” Wow! Talk about a wake-up call. Luckily, she didn’t leave it at that. She also gave me some specific stretching and strengthening exercises to help with the pain—and when I take the time to do them, they do help.

The reality is that without care and attention, things break down – our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. As we start this new year, I suggest that we each increase our capacity by taking time to regularly renew ourselves in each of the four dimensions of life – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

• Increasing or maintaining your physical capacity includes getting regular physical activity, taking time for rest and relaxation, eating a balanced diet, and doing other activities that revitalize the body and give you energy. For many, getting too little sleep is a culprit. Remember what Andy Rooney said: “Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.”

• To increase your mental capacity, consider activities such as keeping a journal, reading, taking up a hobby, or continuing your education—anything that broadens and strengthens the mind. Be a student of whatever field you choose. Read voraciously. Mark Twain stated: “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”

• Activities that increase your emotional capacity can include regular social activity with friends and family, learning to listen with empathy, valuing the differences in others, increasing your circle of friends, and forgiving yourself and others. Forgiveness can be a power tool for increasing emotional capacity. As Lewis Smedes said: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

• Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of The Power of Full Engagement, define spiritual capacity as “the energy that is unleashed by tapping into one’s deepest values and defining a strong sense of purpose.” Your spiritual capacity is a powerful source of motivation, focus, and resilience. You may build your spiritual capacity by connecting with nature, reading inspirational literature, living in integrity, listening to uplifting music, engaging in meditation and/or prayer, or other activities that nourish the soul.

Author Rumer Godden may have said it best: “Everyone is a house with four rooms:  physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  Unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”

What are some things you plan to do in the new year to renew yourself?

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.  

Which of the following statement(s) best describe(s) you when it comes to New Year’s resolutions at work?

1. Don’t set them—it is a waste of time
2. Set them—and it is a waste of time because I don’t take them seriously
3. Set them, take them seriously, but am regularly disappointed in myself
4. Set them, take them seriously, and have figured out how to make them work
5. Set them for personal matters, but not professional or workplace situations
6. Refuse to live my life this way, and/or …
7. Sick of hearing about them—enough already!
8. Other (There may be other categories. Let me know what you come up with so I can add it to the list.)

No matter how you feel about resolutions, one thing as inevitable as the arrival of the New Year is the advice forthcoming about how to write resolutions. For example: Write resolutions more like SMART goals that are specific and measurable, motivating, attainable, relevant, and time-bound, making them more achievable.

Resolution-setter, or not, I encourage you to consider a different focus this year. Let’s say you have notions for workplace resolutions such as …

• Be more timely when it comes to _____ (fill-in-the-blank with expense reports, budgets, performance reviews, etc.)
• Provide better customer service
• Make a greater contribution
• Achieve greater work-life balance
• Speak up in meetings
• Be more upbeat in the office

All of these so-called resolutions might benefit by being written as a SMARTer goal statement. But before you even attempt that, try shifting your focus to the question of “Why?” Ask yourself this key question: “Why did I create this resolution?”

Can you answer with one or more of these answers?

1)      This resolution aligns with important values I have established.

2)      This resolution helps me fulfill my work-life purpose.

3)      The mere pursuit of this resolution brings me joy.

Any one of these three answers is going to result in a more resolute resolution. So before you start following the good advice about rewriting your resolutions as goals (or the less-good advice to incentivize yourself with rewards or perks) consider first asking “Why did I create this resolution?” and tie it to your values, purpose, and sense of joy.

At the end of the day (or week or year), you are more likely to experience an optimal Motivational Outlook and positive results when you channel energy to those things that have a meaningful why behind them.

Here’s to an optimally motivated New Year!

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

Peter Drucker said the only valid purpose for a business is “to create a customer.” Yes, profits are necessary, but Drucker adds that “the customer is the foundation of a business and keeps it in existence. He alone gives employment.”

What does Wiki Answers say? According to Wiki, “the purpose of a business is to fill a need. Money comes after.”

These are all well and good. And yes, profits ARE necessary.

However, in Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, the ghost of Jacob Marley warns Ebenezer Scrooge of the perils of focusing only on profits at the expense of his responsibility to others.  He tells Ebenezer:

“Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

So… what is the business of any leader? To make a difference in the lives of others– employees and their families, customers, suppliers, and even shareholders.  Yes, we need to ensure the organization is profitable AND do well by our fellow men and women.

During this holiday season, what can you do to demonstrate that mankind is your business? Let me know your ideas.

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of every month.

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Join trust expert Randy Conley for a complimentary webinar and online chat beginning today at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time (12:00 noon Eastern).

In a special presentation on Building Trust: 3 Keys to Becoming a More Trustworthy Leader, Conley will be exploring how leaders can improve the levels of trust in their organization by identifying potential gaps that trip up even the best of leaders.

Participants will learn:

• How to get it right on the inside first
• The 4 leadership behaviors that build or destroy trust
• The 3 keys to creating trusting relationships

The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 500 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, Randy will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  Randy will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

A best-selling business book (and one that I had never heard of until earlier this month) addresses a key piece of the accountability issue.  Leadership and Self-Deception was first published in 2000 and then re-issued as a second edition in 2010.  The book has sold over 1,000,000 copies since it was published and sales have grown every year since it was first “discovered” by HR, OD, and change practitioners.

What makes the book so different (and hard to describe) is that it looks at work behavior as fundamentally an inside-out proposition.  We basically act out externally what we are feeling inside.  Bad behavior externally—doing just enough to get by, compliance instead of commitment, and putting self-interest ahead of team or department goals—are justified because of the way that that colleagues, managers, and senior leaders are acting in return.

The folks at The Arbinger Institute, the corporate authors of the book, call this “in the box thinking” and they believe it is the root cause of many of the problems being experienced at work today.

Is your organization stuck “in the box?”

Wondering if negative attitudes inside might be causing poor accountability on the outside in your organization? Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself.

• Where are the trouble spots in your organization?  Where are people getting the job done but it seems to always be at minimum level of performance—and with a low sense of enthusiasm and morale?
• What are the possible attitudes and beliefs among members of that team or department that make them feel justified in their behaviors?  Why do they feel it is okay to narrow the scope of their job, focus on their own agenda, and do only what’s required to stay out of trouble—but not much more?
• What can you do to break the cycle of negative thinking that keeps people “in the box?”

Climbing out of the box

Surprisingly, the answer to breaking out of the box starts with expecting more of yourself and others. People climb into the box when they decide to do less than their best.  The folks at Arbinger describe this as “self-betrayal” and it sets in motion all sorts of coping strategies that end up with self-focused behaviors.  Don’t let that happen in your organization.  Here are two ways that you can help people see beyond their self interests.

1. Constantly remind people of the bigger picture and their role in it.  Set high standards and hold people accountable to them.
2. Second, and just as important, provide high levels of support and encouragement for people to do the right thing.  Make it easy for people to put the needs of the team, department, and organization ahead of their own.  Look at reward, recognition, and compensation strategies.  Look at growth and career planning.  What can you do to free people up to focus on the needs of others instead of themselves?

Change behavior by changing beliefs

Accountability is a tough issue to address because most people feel justified in their actions and opinions.  Don’t let your people self-justify their way into lower performance.  It’s not good for them and it’s not good for your organization.  Lead people to higher levels of performance.  Help people find the best in themselves.

“Shocking,” he exclaimed again before I could put up the second part of the slide. I asked the obvious question, “Why is this so shocking?” His reply: “My whole career I have been told my job was to motivate my people, now you tell me I can’t. No wonder I’ve been so frustrated.”

I revealed the second part of the slide: What managers can do is create an environment where people are more likely to experience optimal motivation at work.

Now this may not seem so shocking if you accept that motivation is truly an inside-out job–only an individual can determine how they are motivated. And it may be obvious that a manager’s role is to create a workplace where people can experience positive motivation. But the manager’s initial shock led to an exploration of the latest science of motivation that you might also find useful.

Over the years it has become evident that most managers do not understand how to create that motivating environment. Throwing their arms up in despair, they assumed motivating people depended on things mostly outside their managerial control such as good wages, promotions, and job security. Managers defaulted to HR to come up with better compensation schemes, more creative reward and recognition systems, and elite high potential programs.

But now we know better. If you hope to motivate–or create that motivational environment–for your staff through raises, bonuses, annual awards, or promotions, you are pinning your hopes on false promises. I can hear HR managers breathing a collective sigh of relief at the same time as they are thinking: But what do managers do differently?

Here are three things to stop doing that undermine optimal motivation and how to use the new science of motivation to make a positive difference:

1. Stop depending on your authority and hierarchical power and find ways to give your people a greater sense of autonomy. Start giving people a sense of choice by helping them generate alternative actions and solutions, discussing implications for various approaches to problems, and providing freedom within boundaries whenever possible.
2. Stop thinking business isn’t personal. Turn the old axiom around: If it is business, it must be personal. Learn how to have effective challenging conversations, take note of personal issues that may be influencing a person’s performance on any given day, and be willing to share personal stories that are relevant to work and goals.
3. Stop focusing on what was achieved today and ask instead: What did people learn today? One of the greatest joys of being a manager is also being a great teacher. If your people go home each day having learned one new thing, they will not be the only ones feeling rewarded that day–you will also find a greater sense of accomplishment and purpose in your work.

The good news is that through the latest science of motivation, we have a good, solid, research-based understanding of what motivates people in the workplace. The other good news is that managers can use that understanding to help their people enjoy a higher quality motivational work experience. And that’s the maybe not-so-shocking truth about motivation.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

In a special presentation on Motivation as a skill: Strategies for managers and employees, Facer will be sharing some of the research underlying Blanchard’s new Optimal Motivation program and workshops.  Participants will explore real-world examples and learn pragmatic strategies that can help managers and individual employees make progress in important areas such as engagement, innovation, and employee well-being. The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 1,000 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, David will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  David will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

When individuals prioritize their own needs and gains at the expense of others, our sense of relatedness decreases—and both intra-team competition and interpersonal suspicion increase.

This amounts to a special form of self-protective behavior—hoarding and hiding information.  It’s akin to sealing off a wing of the company library and saying that the information will not be shared with others to help solve the issues and challenges of the day. This behavior hinders the organization’s ability to learn quickly, which reduces its capacity to compete and serve its clients.

It’s especially troublesome when a manager asks the question.

Recent Blanchard research published in the Journal of Modern Economy and Management revealed that people who perceive their managers as primarily self-oriented experience more negative emotion and are less likely to speak positively about the organization to industry colleagues, friends, and family.  They also have higher turnover intentions.

Conversely, people who see their managers as highly interested in the needs and well-being of employees at least as much or more than their own personal needs are statistically much more likely to:

• perform at high levels;
• use more discretionary effort;
• positively endorse the company to industry colleagues, friends, and family;
• be highly ethical in their jobs;
• have the intention of staying with the company longer.

In other words, a manager who is others-oriented fosters the kind of behavior and intentions that help organizations thrive.

So, what can you do to build more employee goodwill—and help fling “What’s in it for me?” into deep space?

• Stop using the phrase yourself.
• When you hear others using the phrase, share the business and personal benefits of being more others-oriented than self-oriented.
• Cite the latest research as often as you can—because people will want to know you have strong evidence for your new point of view.

Working together effectively is a key competency in today’s work environment.  Here’s hoping that you and all your colleagues will together enjoy much shared happiness and success.

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together  with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

“What?” you may be asking. “No, it’s about my client.” True … kinda. But it can’t be about them until it’s about you.

The service experience begins and ends with you. That experience is primarily within your control. You get to decide the kind of experience you want it to be. It’s your vision, values, and behavior that drive the service experience.

A case in point

Many years ago, on February 14, I was flying from Chicago back home to San Francisco. I remember the day not only because it was Valentine’s Day, but because I had a reason to be excited that it was Valentine’s Day. (HA!—a rare occasion at that time in my life.)

I arrived at Chicago O’Hare Airport in what I thought was plenty of time to catch my flight, only to discover that I had misread my flight time as my boarding time. Now, instead of being early, I was running late. Once through security, with my briefcase and coat in one hand and my purse in the other, I started running to my gate. As I was running, a felt someone take my briefcase.

I stopped, looked up, and a guy with his hand on my briefcase said, “Where are you goin’?”

I said, “To Gate 75.”

He said, “Let’s go.”

He then took my briefcase and coat and ran all the way to Gate 75 with me. Once we arrived, he handed me my briefcase and coat, wished me well, and left.

Thinking beyond the job description

I don’t know who he was or what he did at the airport. From the jumpsuit, my guess is that he worked in engineering, facilities, or something of that nature. My guess is also that no place in his job description did it say,  “When you see a woman running frantically through the airport with a coat and briefcase in one hand and a purse in the other, stop whatever you’re doing, take her coat and briefcase, and run to Gate 75 with her.” I would wager big bucks those words did not exist in his job description anywhere—but he did it anyway.

Service experiences are visceral. What will that experience feel like, look like, and sound like, with you? As a trainer, facilitator, speaker, and consultant, I want to leave participants feeling inclined, compelled, perhaps even inspired to act—to learn more, share information, try something new, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

So, decide:

•             What’s your goal for the service experience?

•             How do you want to leave people feeling?

•             What do you want people saying about you?

Since decisions can become behaviors and behaviors can become instinct—decide  carefully.

About the author:

Ann Phillips is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read Ann’s posts as a part of our customer service series which appears on the first and third Thursday of each month.

We are so caught up in the “busyness” of life, that practicing Mindfulness appears antithetical to producing the results and productivity required in our roles.  Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

When you notice and are aware of what is happening without judgment, you release yourself from patterns of behavior based on past experience, your dispositional tendencies, and your prejudices that limit your response.  When you do this, you have a myriad of choices for how to respond or react.  When mindful, you are able to choose a higher quality experience from your now unlimited choices.  The benefits to your own health, success, and productivity are rewards enough.

Practicing Mindfulness

Ready to practice some Mindfulness in your own life?  Here are three ways to get started:

1. Consider an important goal, task, or situation you currently have on your priority list.
2. Notice the physical sensation in your body that occurs just by thinking about it.  Does your stomach turn, your jaw clench, your chest tighten, your forehead frown?  Do you break into a smile, have butterflies in your stomach, or feel your pulse race?  Your body notices how you feel before you do!
3. Now notice the emotion attached to the physical feeling.  Is it positive or negative?  That’s judgment.  An emotion is your opinion of the physical sensation you are experiencing.  What if you were to let go of it and simply notice?  This would present you with a myriad of more choices than the one that so automatically came to your awareness.

Ripple effect with others

Donna, a participant in a recent Optimal Motivation workshop, told me that a major action step she committed to at the end of the session was to practice Mindfulness at work.  Being a woman in a leadership role in a manufacturing environment, Donna described herself as extroverted, strong, vocal, and quick to react.  She began taking a breath before calls and meetings; rather than immediately reacting to people and situations, she observed what was happening as “data.”

Donna reported that after a month of this practice her 17-year-old daughter said to her, “Mom, you seem really different; calmer.”  Donna was amazed that her practice had filtered throughout her life and that even her teenage daughter had noticed.

I hope you will experiment with Mindfulness.  Google it.  Check out the research by Kirk Warren Brown.  Travel to India and study with a yogi.  Or better yet, join us for an Optimal Motivation session and discover how Mindfulness can help you experience greater energy, vitality, and sense of positive well-being.

About the author:

Susan Fowler is one of the principal authors—together  with David Facer and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.  Their posts appear on the first and third Monday of each month.

“CEOs whose personalities and dispositions were more competitive had a direct influence on the degree of competitiveness and fear experienced by members of their senior leadership teams. This resulted in a greater degree of siloed behavior within the organization and less cooperation among sub-units. The net results were less integration across the business, less efficiency, poorer service, and ultimately lower economic performance.

“A woman recently told us her CEO believed that a little bit of fear was good and that moderate to high levels of competition between people and business units were beneficial and kept the company sharp. This attitude of friendly competition inside the company permeated the culture, flowing out from the boardroom and cascading throughout the organization.

“This approach had worked for this technology company in the past, but began to become a liability as customers asked for more cross-platform compatibility. Because customers were asking for everything to work well together, these internal divisions needed to cooperate more effectively. This required the different business units to think beyond self-interest to the whole customer experience. It proved difficult to change the mindset of this historically competitive culture.”

Drive out fear

What type of culture is operating in your organization?  Is there a spirit of support, encouragement, and cooperation?  Or is a culture of fear, protectionism, and competition more present?  Today’s more sophisticated and integrated work requires a collaborative mindset.  Make sure that you are not inadvertently creating a competitive, fear-based mindset that gets in the way of people working together effectively.

As W. Edwards Deming famously reminded us, “Drive out fear.”  Fear is counter-productive in the long term, because it prevents workers from acting in the organization’s best interests.

To read more of Scott and Ken Blanchard’s thinking on creating a more engaging work environment and what top leaders can—and cannot—control check out Why Trying To Manipulate Employee Motivation Always Backfires.

Have you been asked to help someone change?

Here are five suggestions from Homan-Blanchard that will give you your best chance for success.

1. Begin with data and dialogue. Business leaders live and die by the numbers. One of the only ways a leader will agree that change is needed is by being presented with unequivocal data and feedback.

2. Make it relevant. Leaders need to understand how their efforts to make and sustain any change will pay off. For instance, the investment is worth it because it will increase their business results or make their work days easier.
3. Mix it up and customize. Because each leader is growing and learning at a different pace across a spectrum of skill sets, learning leaders need to be prepared with a blended approach that uses all available resources, including online learning, classroom experiences, cohort or peer coaching, professional coaching and mentoring.
4. Consequences matter. Culture also plays a substantial role in effective leader development. Be clear that certain leadership behaviors are non-negotiable and even cause for dismissal.
5. Respect must be earned. Learning leaders who seek to support leaders’ change efforts need to be role models for growth and change, too.

Helping another person change requires clear direction, support, and accountability over time.  It also requires a proven process.  In an upcoming virtual workshop for leaders looking to identify and change unwanted leadership behaviors Homan-Blanchard outlines three key strategies individual leaders can use to manage their own change.

1. Identify behaviors that need to change.  Articulate the gap. Put words to where you are now, and where you want to be. This helps you to understand the nature of the shift you need to make and keeps it real.

2. Practice your new behavior. Start in a safe environment with people you trust.  Tell people that you are trying something new.  Ask for help in tweaking your new behavior. Ask for support in identifying triggers, and in holding yourself accountable. Remember that you will not be good at your new behavior. Try on new things one at a time. You can make a lot of changes, just not all at once. Give yourself a chance to master one thing first—then you can move on to the next thing.

3. Try on your new behavior in a real-life setting.  Promise yourself to do it ONCE, either once a day, once per opportunity, etc. Define a minimum for yourself and reward yourself every time you do it. Be kind to yourself throughout the process.  Real change is hard, but worth the effort.

Coaching is an act of service

Helping someone change requires a service mindset.  The process can be challenging, but also very rewarding when you can help people identify and modify behaviors that may be holding them back in their careers.  To learn more about Homan-Blanchard’s advice for facilitating change, be sure to check out her article, How Do You Get Leaders to Change?  Also, be sure to check out her upcoming online workshop, Taking the “Un” Out of Your Un-Leaderlike Moments.

1. I am not really here. (Well, maybe my body is, but my mind is elsewhere.)
2. I am being paid to be here. (And if I wasn’t being paid—or receiving some other type of reward—I wouldn’t be here.)
3. I have to be here; I’d be afraid of what might happen if I wasn’t.
4. Being here aligns with my values and will help me and my organization reach important goals.
5. Being here resonates with me; I feel it could make an important difference to others in my organization and/or help me fulfill a meaningful purpose.
6. I am inherently interested in being here; it is fun for me.

A quick survey found that people were attending for a variety of reasons including all six of the possible choices above. Fowler went on to explain that the first three choices were all “Sub Optimal” motivational outlooks that generated poor results. She also shared that outlooks 4, 5 and 6 were the “Optimal” motivational outlooks that most closely correlated with intentions to perform at a high level, apply discretionary effort, and be a good corporate citizen.

What motivates you?

What’s motivating you on your tasks at work?  Is it a “carrot” (External #2) or a “stick” (Imposed #3) approach?  If so, what’s the impact been on your motivation and performance?  Chances are that you’re not performing at your best.  Even worse, you could find yourself feeling somewhat manipulated and controlled, which rarely brings out the best in people.

For better results, think about what it might mean to employ a more Aligned, Integrated, or Inherent approach.  Find ways to connect the dots for yourself to create a more intrinsically satisfying strategy.

3 ways to enhance motivation

Fowler suggests beginning by evaluating the quality of A-R-C in your life.  Looking back at over 40 years of motivation research, Fowler shared that the answer to creating a more motivating environment is a combination of increased Autonomy (control of your experiences), Relatedness (working together with others), and Competence (developing and refining new skills).  The good news is that anyone can change their motivational outlook with some self-awareness and self-regulation.

Could you use a little more motivation in your life?   Most of us could.  To find out more about Fowler’s thinking on motivation and bringing out the best in yourself and others, be sure to check out Fowler’s free, on-demand webinar recording, A Closer Look at the New Science of Motivation.  You’ll discover some of the common mistakes people make when it comes to motivation and what you can do to improve your outlook.  Recorded on October 3 for an audience of 700 participants, the download is free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

It doesn’t have to be this way. A key skill in managing your time (and your boss) is learning to say NO when appropriate. But, how do you say NO, especially to your boss, in a way that maintains the relationship and builds trust?

First, you need to know your commitments. In order to know when to say no, you need to know what’s on your plate. You should have a running list of all your current projects/assignments. Once you see this list of commitments, you can decide whether the new request fits into your schedule, and if it’s of high enough priority to add to your list.

The real secret to saying “NO” is to have a greater “YES” burning within you!

Next, when a request is made, take the time to listen and fully understand what is being asked and why. Then you can decide if the request fits into your schedule and your priorities.

Last, when appropriate, you need to say NO in a respectful way. Here are five strategies:

• Negotiate a later date for completion – “I would be happy to do that task. With all of my other priorities I could complete it by this date.”
• Ask how it fits into your current workload, then negotiate – “I would be happy to do that task. Would you help me see where this fits in with my other priorities?”
• Suggest someone else who might be able to complete the task for you – “I don’t have time for this at the moment. You might check with Pat or Chris.”
• Be polite, yet firm in saying “no” when “no” is your only option – “I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now.”
• Pre-empt the request by keeping people informed regarding your workload and priorities.

Don’t let your work life get to the point where you feel burned out and ready to quit. Take responsibility for creating the work environment that keeps you engaged by learning to say “No” when appropriate.

Remember…

“A ‘No’, uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘Yes’, merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.”

~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

*****

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of every month.

In Blanchard’s experience, all leaders can benefit from examining some of the mindsets that might be operating just below the surface of their consciousness.  It can be as complex as a formal 360-degree assessment, but it can also be accomplished through less formal methods.  As Blanchard explains, “Sometimes all a person needs to do is get on the phone with a completely objective person who has their best interest at heart. Someone who is going to say, ‘Hey, what’s up with that? What’s going on?’”

“And they learn about themselves by talking. It is like cleaning out your closet and getting rid of all the old stuff that doesn’t fit anymore or that you never really liked in the first place.”

3 ways leaders hold themselves back

In an interview for the October edition of Ignite, Blanchard identifies three ways that leaders often hold themselves back.  See if any of these might be hampering your effectiveness as a leader.

Limiting self-beliefs—people often self-impose rules and expectations on themselves that don’t serve them—even when they know what to do differently.  It’s a matter of giving yourself permission. When Blanchard asks, “What keeps you from doing those things?” clients often reply, “Absolutely nothing. It just didn’t occur to me.”

Playing small—Blanchard shares another story about a client who was very comfortable in her own playing field but wasn’t seeing her own potential—or taking steps toward it—the way that others in the organization were seeing her. As a result, she wasn’t building the relationships or networks within the organization that would make her more effective.

Time orientation—finally, Blanchard often works with clients on expanding their time orientations. As she explains, “Each of us has a preferred and habitual time orientation—past, present, or future. Aspiring leaders are often very good at being in the present and focusing on what is right in front of them, but to take it to the next level, they also need to develop skills for future planning.”

Be yourself—only better!

People can and do change. And it almost never requires as big a shift as you might think. Blanchard likes to use the metaphor of a ship on a long sea voyage. If you make even a two-degree change in your direction you completely change your destination.

Where are you headed? What are some of the behaviors that might be holding you back as a leader? To read more on Blanchard’s thinking, be sure to check out Three Ways Leaders Hold Themselves Back.

Interested in learning more about identifying and changing limiting leadership behaviors?

Also check out a special Leadership Livecast on October 10.  Over 40 different business thought leaders will be sharing examples of “un-leaderlike behaviors” and how they—or others—overcame them.  The event is free courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more at www.leadershiplivecast.com

He did not want to go but felt he had no choice.

I asked: “What would happen if you CHOSE not to go?” He replied that his wife would be very upset and it would harm their relationship.

Next, I asked: “How do you think your current attitude will impact the quality of your time together at this wedding?” He pondered this for a minute and admitted that he would have a miserable time and that would have a negative impact on his wife’s experience – not too much different than if he stayed home.

Finally, I asked: “Knowing that you really DO have a choice, what would happen if you looked at your options and CHOSE to attend the wedding and make this a great experience for your wife?” He admitted things would probably be better and he made the choice to attend.

When he came back from his trip, I asked him how it went. He hit me in the arm and then said “I hate it when you’re right. We both had a wonderful time.”

Exercise choice

There is power in the words we tell ourselves and others. Think about the last meeting you feel you HAD to attend – you felt like you had no choice. How did you act during that meeting? What was your attitude? What did you get out of the meeting? What would happen if you made the CHOICE to attend instead? You looked at your alternatives – go or not go – and decided it was worth attending. (NOTE: You may want to contact the meeting organizer and have a discussion about your attendance before making a final decision!)

Think about these examples and how reframing your words can impact the quality of your experience:

Instead of                     Consider

I have to…                              I choose to…

They made me…                    I’ve decided to…

It can’t be done…                  There has to be another way…

As you go through the rest of the week, notice your language and the impact it has on your attitude. See if you can reframe your experience by changing your language. Let me know how it goes.

“Change your language and you change your thoughts.” ~ Karl Albrecht 

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of every month.

This might keep the line moving, but it is not going to do much in meeting a person’s need to be heard.

Could your listening skills use a brush-up? 

Here’s a three-step model designed to help managers slow down and focus on what people are sharing. The magic in this process is remembering to take the time to explore the issue raised by a direct report by asking clarifying questions, then acknowledging what is being said and the emotion behind it, before going on to the third step of responding.

Explore—ask open-ended questions such as “Can you tell me more about that?” and “How do you think that will go?” and “What does that really mean?”

Acknowledge—respond with comments such as “You must be feeling …” or “So, if I’m hearing you correctly, what you’re saying is ….”

Respond—now that you have a good understanding of the direct report’s point of view, you can carefully move forward with a possible response.

Use this EAR model to stop and take an extra minute to make sure you really understand the situation before responding.

You also need the right attitude

In addition to a good model, you also need the right attitude when it comes to listening.  Otherwise, you end up going through the motions but not having anything truly penetrate the noise in your own head.

To combat that, quiet yourself and focus.

Now, listen in a special way. Listen with an expectation of learning something you didn’t know and possibly being influenced by what you find out.  This is especially important if someone is sharing a new idea or feedback with you.  Remember to WAIT and ask yourself, “Why Am I Talking when I should be listening?”

Managers have to be open to being influenced and surprised by what they might hear. Sometimes it’s hard for managers to listen—especially if they have been doing the job for a long time—because they are sure that they already know what the direct report is going to say.

Remember: Listening means remaining silent. This will create a little space where you can explore and acknowledge before responding. Be sure to think about whether your thoughts are really needed, or whether a direct report just needs “air time” to process his or her thoughts. With a combination of the right attitude and the right skill set, you’ll still get to the answers, but you’ll do it in a way that allows you to make the best decisions and in a way that allows everyone to be heard.

Current research points to the benefit of employing people’s hearts as well as their hands. But to do that skillfully, managers and team leaders have to be prepared for all of the situations that occur when you truly engage people.  If you want everything that people can offer, you have to deal with everything that people will bring.

Eryn Kalish, a professional mediator and relationship expert believes that there are two keys to successfully negotiating the emotional workplace.  In an article for Blanchard’s Ignite! newsletter, Kalish identifies staying centered and open as the key skills.  But what she has been seeing more commonly is an unbalanced approach where managers and organizations go to extremes.

As she explains, “Organizations are either taking a ‘confront everything, address it, and do it now’ overly intense approach, where there is no time or space to reflect, or they are taking a ‘let’s wait and see’ tactic, in hopes that the situation resolves itself, but in reality not dealing with difficult issues until it’s way too late.”

The wait and see strategy works occasionally, according to Kalish, although most of the time things get worse. “Plus, when something is left unaddressed, there is a cumulative organizational effect where everyone starts shutting down, living in a place of fear and contraction.”

That is a huge loss, from Kalish’s perspective, because most issues in companies are resolvable.

“If issues are handled directly, clearly, and in a timely manner, something new can emerge. That’s what I see that is so exciting,” she shares. “When people normalize these types of conversations, it is amazing to see the transformations that can occur.”

Next steps for leaders

For leaders looking to get started in improving their abilities, Kalish recommends assessing where you are currently at.

“It all depends on whether you have the skills to conduct a sensitive conversation. If you have the skills, take a cue from Nike and ‘Just do it!’ See what happens. If you do not have the skills, then it is important to get additional coaching or training.

“In any case, openness and transparency is the key. Many times it helps to just be candid with staff and saying, ‘I think that we have been avoiding this and I’d like that to change’ will help.

To learn more about Kalish’s thoughts on dealing effectively with emotion in the workplace, check out Dealing effectively with emotion-filled work environments in the August issue of Ignite.  Also be sure to check out a free webinar Kalish is conducting on August 22, A Manager’s Guide to the Emotional Workplace: How to stay focused and balanced when dealing with sensitive issues.  It’s a free event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

What would happen if your direct reports “secretly shopped” you as a leader?  What would they report back?  Here’s an exercise to help you find out.  You are going to “meta-cognate” or watch yourself by designing a personal secret shopper scorecard.

Identify your ideal self

First, take a few minutes and think of your vision of yourself as a leader. On your best day—the one you would like to be recorded for the nightly news as a model for leaders everywhere—what do you see yourself doing? In interactions, are you focused on the other person? Are you listening to their world and trying to help them succeed in the important work they are doing? Do you recognize their effort and courage?  Do you help your people gain clarity around their purpose and goals? What exactly is your vision of YOU at your best?

Create your secret shopper questions

Second, reframe a few of your observations (no more than three) into your own secret shopper questions, such as:

1. To what degree did the leader use the word you versus the word I?
2. Were listening strategies used to enhance communication?
3. Was specific praise or recognition used to build the relationship?
4. Did the leader make the individual feel important?
5. Did the individual leave the interaction ready to act?

Create your scorecard

Third, create a small, written assessment that you can use to remind and assess how close you are behaving to your ideal self in your interactions with people. This self-assessment should include four items—the top three things you intend to do, your self-assessment of your success, the level of care the individual felt as a result, and the chances that they will come back again for a similar experience.  Here’s mine so you can see an example:

My Secret Shopper Leadership Scorecard

Upcoming interaction:  Discussing goals with Lisa

Three things I want to observe myself doing:

1. Taking some time at the beginning of the meeting to reconnect
2. Keeping the conversation focused on goals, tasks, and the work we need to accomplish
3. Reviewing agreements and letting Lisa know that I am available for direction and support

Self assessment of this interaction: (on a scale of 1 to 10)

Level of CARE the individual felt: (on a scale of 1 to 10)

Chance s/he will want to come back for a similar experience: (on a scale of 1 to 10)

Being your own secret shopper is a great way to begin the task of creating and becoming the leader you want to be. Use this scorecard  to purposely plan and notice yourself in action.  Self-reflect on each interaction with an employee.  Ask yourself the questions you generated and strive toward higher and higher ratings. With a little bit of practice, you’ll soon notice the impact that being “customer focused” can have on your performance as a serving leader.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is one of the principal authors—together with Kathy Cuff—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.  Their other-focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.

“One is false pride—when you think more of yourself than you should. When this occurs, leaders spend most of their time looking for ways to promote themselves.

“The other is fear and self-doubt—when you think less of yourself than you should. These leaders spend their time constantly trying to protect themselves.”

Surprisingly, the root cause of both behaviors is the same, explains Blanchard in the July issue of his Ignite newsletter.  The culprit?  The human ego.

Egos Anonymous

To help executives identify the ways that ego may be impacting their effectiveness as a leader, Blanchard often incorporates an “Egos Anonymous” session into his workshops and two-day intensives.

“The Egos Anonymous session begins with each person standing up and saying, ‘Hi, I’m Ken, and I’m an egomaniac. The last time my ego got in the way was …’ And then they share a false pride or self-doubt moment or example.”

EA sessions have become so popular with executives that some graduates of the Blanchard program use the technique to kick off meetings when they get back to their offices.

“They find it really helps their teams operate more freely. It’s very powerful when people can share their vulnerability and be more authentic and transparent,” says Blanchard.

“Ego is the biggest addiction in the world. So many people think of their self-worth as a function of their performance plus the opinions of others. But that’s a dead-end deal. When your self-worth is somewhere ‘out there,’ it’s always up for grabs.”

Start building good habits

For leaders looking to address the impact that ego may be having on their lives, Blanchard recommends asking yourself a couple of key questions:

1. “Am I here to serve, or be served?” According to Blanchard, your answer to this question will reflect a fundamental difference in the way you approach leadership. If you believe leadership is all about you, where you want to go, and what you want to attain, then your leadership by default will be more self-focused and self-centered. On the other hand, if your leadership revolves around meeting the needs of the organization and the people working for it, you will make different choices that will reveal a more “others-focused” approach.
2.  “What are you doing on a daily basis to recalibrate who you want to be in the world?”  “Most people don’t think about that,” explains Blanchard. “This could include how you enter your day, what you read, what you study—everything that contributes in a positive sense to who you are.”

“Consider your daily habits and their impact on your life. Take time to explore who you are, who you want to be, and what steps you can take on a daily basis to get closer to becoming your best self. Your leadership journey begins on the inside—but ultimately will have a tremendous impact on the people around you.”

To learn more about ego and how it positively—or negatively—impacts your development as a leader, join The Ken Blanchard Companies for a webinar on July 25—Don’t Let Your Ego Hijack Your Career—Four Warning Signs.  This event is free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Here are the top reasons Fournies heard most often and which he described in his book, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It.  As you review the list, consider what you believe might be some of the root causes and solutions for each road block.

In Fournies’ experience, the root cause and solution in each case rests with the individual manager and employee.  Fournies believes that managers can minimize the negative impact of each of these potential roadblocks by:

1. Getting agreement that a problem exists
2. Mutually discussing alternative solutions
3. Mutually agreeing on action to be taken to solve the problem
4. Following-up to ensure that agreed-upon action has been taken
5. Reinforcing any achievement

Are your people doing what they are supposed to be doing?

What’s the level of purpose, alignment, and performance in your organization?  Do people have a clear sense of where the organization is going and where their work fits in?  Are they committed and passionate about the work?  Are they performing at a high level?  Take a look at the conversations and relationships happening at the manager-direct report level.  If performance is not where it should be, chances are that one of these roadblocks in getting in the way.

PS: You can learn more about Ferdinand Fournies and his two books, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It, and Coaching for Improved Work Performance here at Amazon.  Both books are highly recommended for your business bookshelf.

When asked for an example of what he meant by this, he said, “Well … we are asked to acknowledge the customer, get details about the situation, listen, ensure relationship building occurs, and exceed the customer’s expectations. But when I call my manager with a question, he just gives me an answer.  For example, I needed to know if we could redo one of our customer policies given some new circumstances. My manager didn’t clarify, listen, or anything. He just said, ‘Follow the policy.’”

Chad’s observation intrigued me, as it made me realize that we forget sometimes how closely our people are watching us.  I love the question: “What are people saying about YOU at the dinner table?” As service champions, to properly support our frontline service providers we must model the service we expect others to do—we must CRAFT a vision of collegiality.

C – Connect:  Our role is to build relationships of care with the people who will be serving our customers.  One of the kindest ways to bring people together is to acknowledge the importance of their position and note that they have the power to change problems they discover. “Thanks for bringing this to my attention. We want to ensure our policies and procedures serve the customers at the highest level. Let’s follow the policy today, but let’s bring this up at our weekly meeting to see if others have similar issues. Maybe we’ll come up with a great idea to solve the problem.”

R – Recognize: We need to recognize the good others are doing. Praise individuals to the whole team—send an email specifying what someone did, how it made you feel, and its importance to the organization.  For example, let’s say the manager addresses the aforementioned issue at the weekly staff meeting. She could say, “I would like to take a minute to thank Chad for bringing up an issue that was driving a customer away and for providing his insights. It helped us to clarify our policy and exceed this customer’s expectations while creating a new policy to serve future customers at the highest level.”

A – Analyze: Consistently analyze information regarding customer issues so that you can see and share trends while proactively problem solving.  At weekly meetings, be a catalyst for innovative change by having people share their issues, examine the causes and impact of those situations, and then brainstorm best possible solutions. Creating communities of practice increases motivation to act and serve.

F – Follow up: Check back in to be sure customer situations were resolved properly, and to draw out ideas that could be utilized in the future to build organizational intelligence. A few days after resolving the situation above regarding the flawed policy, the manager might call Chad and say, “I want to thank you again for bringing up that issue regarding the policy change. Did it feel to you like our solution was a success? Do you have any other thoughts?”

T – Talk: Ask open-ended questions, listen, and acknowledge emotion while connecting to the heart of the situation. In the example above when Chad called his manager, the manager might have asked, “Is there anything else you’d like to share so I am sure I understand the situation correctly?”

By collaborating with your service providers and unleashing their best thoughts, you are modeling the service you would like them to provide for their customers. As leader and service champion, you need to CRAFT, then showcase, the behaviors that will create the devoted customers who will become your #1 sales force.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is one of the principal authors—together with Kathy Cuff—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.  Their other-focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.

The culprit?  The human ego.

As they explain, “When people get caught up in their egos, it erodes their effectiveness. That’s because the combination of false pride and self-doubt created by an overactive ego gives people a distorted image of their own importance. When that happens, people see themselves as the center of the universe and they begin to put their own agenda, safety, status, and gratification ahead of those affected by their thoughts and actions.”

Fortunately, the two Blanchards share a four-step process that can help keep an overactive ego in place.

Name it and claim it—taking a page from popular 12-step programs, the Blanchards describe a well-known opening they use when they conduct “Egos Anonymous” meetings for senior executive groups.  They have the executives, in turn, share the last time they let their egos get in the way of their leadership effectiveness. What they usually find is that the ego-driven episodes are a result of fear or false pride. By having the leaders “name and claim” the ways that their ego has derailed their behavior in the past, they give the leaders their first tool to begin to neutralize the ego’s power.

Practice humility—another way to recalibrate an overactive ego at work is to practice humility. For a leader, this means recognizing that it is not all about you; it’s about the people you serve and what they need. To illustrate their point, the Blanchards use a great story from fellow consultant Jim Collins on how to tell the difference between serving and self-serving leaders.  As Collins describes it, “When things are going well for self-serving leaders, they will look in the mirror, beat their chests, and tell themselves how good they are. When things go wrong, they look out the window and blame everyone else. On the other hand, when things go well for great leaders, they look out the window and give everyone else the credit. When things go wrong, these serving leaders look in the mirror and ask themselves, ‘What could I have done differently?’”

Find truth tellers in your life—these people are essential to a leader, “Especially as you climb into the higher ranks of an organization,” explain the authors, “where honest feedback becomes scarce and everyone treads lightly. These are the people who know you well, don’t have anything to gain from being less than honest with you, and who you can count on to give you the straight scoop.”

Be a learner—the final strategy the Blanchards recommend for rebalancing your ego is to become a continual learner. You need to be open to learning from other people and listening to them. For leaders who are used to being the smartest person in the room, they recommend starting a joint project with someone who has the skills and energy to do what the leader doesn’t know how to do yet.  It’s a great way to discover what it’s like to be a learner again.

Don’t let your ego derail your career

Talent, competitive drive, and confidence are the skills that often ear-mark people for leadership positions.  If balanced with a healthy dose of reality and humility, these skills can lead to a long and successful career that benefits the leader and the organizations they serve.  Unchecked, they lead to self-centered behavior and a stunted career path.  To accomplish great things, you are going to need the cooperation and talents of other individuals.

So name your ego lapses. Practice humility. Invite honest feedback. Learn from others. These practices will not only eliminate your blind spots, they’ll also open the way for you to accomplish more for yourself and others.

To read the complete article, check out Don’t Let Your Ego Hijack Your Leadership Effectiveness on Scott and Ken Blanchard’s page at Fast Company.

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See if this sounds familiar. Our family is going out to dinner.  My husband is driving.  We pull into the parking lot and I see a fabulous parking place right in front. (I love to find great parking places and I think everyone else should also.)

So I start to share my expert-parking-place-finding-radar-response and guess what happens next?  He is NOT interested and says, “Don’t even think about it!”

Why the quick response?  Because he and I have been over this ground many times before and I know I am not to speak during parking lot time unless we are going to die.  But changing behavior is an ongoing challenge and just because we know what people want us to do, that doesn’t make it any easier.

3 ways to help yourself change

Still, my experience working with many different leaders over the years has convinced me that we can change anything we want if we put our mind to it. Here are three tips if you are committed to changing some hard-wired behaviors. 

1. Focus on the other person’s wishes—be clear not only on what the other person wants, but why he or she wants this.  In my example above, after realizing this situation had come up numerous times before, I decided to find out why my significant other wasn’t interested in my brilliance. He said it distracts his driving when he has to look where I want him to look.  (Well that was informative.  And to be honest, I actually would rather be safe than have the closest parking place also.)
2. Practice what you want to replace your usual behavior with by rehearsing what you are going to do in a similar situation the next time. For me, rehearsal meant chanting, “Never miss an opportunity to exercise,” as I practiced parking as far away as possible while my hard-wired brain kept pointing out, “There’s one, there’s another one, and oh look, still another one.”  (I also kept reminding myself of why my husband doesn’t share my passion for prime parking spots—his value of family safety is more important than that front row space.)
3. Recognize when you do it right by celebrating when all goes well.  Embed your new skill into your brain by creating a pattern for your new behavior so next time it won’t take as much energy. Even though your new behavior may leave you feeling somewhat dissatisfied—or underutilized in my case—take your attention off of yourself and celebrate how you made the other person feel.  Mentally go over what you did, why you did it, and what the fabulous results were.  (This actually creates a stronger neural connection to the behavior that makes it easier to access next time.)

It takes practice and time

Figuring out what others want and acting on that knowledge is a rare, but powerful, way to build lasting relationships—at work and at home. It takes focus, practice, and a recognition of results.  Everyone likes to be treated in the way they like to be treated.  Our challenge as leaders is to flex what we want to do to meet the needs of others.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is one of the principal authors—together with Kathy Cuff—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.  Their other-focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.

The best managers learn how to tailor their management style to the needs of their employees.  For example, if an employee is new to a task, a successful manager will use a highly directive style—clearly setting goals and deadlines.  If an employee is struggling with a task, the manager will use equal measures of direction and support.  If the employee is an expert at a task, a manager will use a delegating style on the current assignment and focus instead on coming up with new challenges and future growth projects.

Are your managers able to flex their style?

Research by The Ken Blanchard Companies shows that leadership flexibility is a rare skill. In looking at the percentage of managers who can successfully use a Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating style as needed, Blanchard has found that 54 percent of leaders typically use only one leadership style, 25 percent use two leadership styles, 20 percent use three leadership styles, and only 1 percent use all four leadership styles.

Recommendations for managers

For managers looking to add some flexibility into the way they lead, here are four ways to get started:

1. Create a written list of goals, and tasks for each direct report.
2. Schedule a one-on-one meeting to identify current development levels for each task.  What is the employee’s current level of competence and commitment?
3. Come to agreement on the leadership style required of the manager.  Does the direct report need direction, support, or a combination of the two?
4. Check back at least every 90 days to see how things are going and if any changes are needed.

Don’t be a “one size fits all” manager

Leading people effectively requires adjusting your style to meet the needs of the situation.  Learning to be flexible can be a challenge at first—especially if you have become accustomed to using a “one size fits all” approach.   However, with a little training and some practice, you can learn how to accurately diagnose and flex your style to meet the needs of the people who report to you.   And the best news is, even while you are learning, your people will notice the difference.  Get started today!

Other recent articles you may be interested in:

Most employees performing significantly below their potential—but does anyone care?

How important is good management? This McKinsey research might surprise you!

Figure 1: Output increases associated with improved management practices. From Management Practice & Productivity—Exhibit 4.

The results are detailed in the white paper, Management Practice & Productivity: Why they matter.  The research team scored companies on 18 topics in three broad areas: performance management; talent management, and shop floor operations.

Surprising disconnect in most companies

The researchers were surprised to find that even though good management practices are well known and the correlation is clear, the reality is that many firms are still poorly managed.

To examine possible causes of this disconnect, respondents were asked to assess the overall management performance of their firm on a scale of one to five.  The researchers found that part of the problem was an inflated opinion of current management practices. In most cases, respondents over-estimated how they scored on the objective management measures.  This situation applied in all regions and across all firms.

The researchers found this lack of self-awareness striking. It suggested that, “…the majority of firms are making no attempt to compare their own management behaviour with accepted practices or even with that of other firms in their sector. As a consequence, many organizations are probably missing out on an opportunity for significant improvement because they simply do not recognize that their own management practices are so poor.”

How would you score the management practices in your company?

Here are three well-known manager behaviors essential to good performance.  Consider the degree to which these practices are used in your own company. Remember that the key is not knowing about these practices, but actually using them.  How would you score your organization when it comes to actually implementing these performance management basics?

1. Performance Planning: Employees have written goals that clearly identify their key responsibilities, goals, and tasks.
2. Performance Coaching: Employees meet with their supervisors on at least a twice per month basis to discuss progress, identify roadblocks, and get the direction and support they need to succeed.
3. Performance Evaluation: There are no surprises when it comes to annual reviews. Managers and direct reports are “in-synch” because performance against goals is being measured on a regular basis instead of once a year.

Don’t let an indifferent attitude toward implementing good management practices keep you and your organization from performing at a high level.  Take action today.  Good management matters!

To read the entire report, check out Management Practice & Productivity: Why they matter

Chris will be exploring three actionable steps leaders can take to self-diagnose, assess, and change unwanted behaviors in a special presentation on The Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make and How to Avoid Them. The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 600 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, Chris will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  Chris will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

Join best-selling authors and consultants Scott Blanchard and Madeleine Homan-Blanchard for a complimentary webinar and online chat beginning today at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time (12:00 noon Eastern).

Scott and Madeleine will be exploring personality and its impact on work relationships  in a special presentation on Temperament at Work: Understanding Yourself and Others. The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 800 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, Scott and Madeleine will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  Scott and Madeleine will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

You may not be a CEO yet, but what can you do now to start building some of those qualities into your own leadership style and the way you are managing your current team?  Here are three places to get started.

Help your team discover its larger purpose.  The goal here is to have people pursuing a goal that is bigger than themselves.  Self-centered behavior is a normal condition.  Without something greater to serve, people naturally drift toward self-interest.  As a leader, your job is to lift people beyond self-interest into serving something larger.  What is the bigger mission of your team, department, or organization?  How does each individual position contribute to the overall goal?  Make this connection explicit.

Be careful with rewards and recognition.  Even well-meaning organizations have trouble with this one. How do you strike the right balance between personal and group recognition?  What types of behavior do you want to reward and encourage?  Leaders get in trouble two ways with reward and recognition. The first is when they inadvertently emphasize individual accomplishment over group accomplishment.  The second is when they use reward and recognition as the reason for doing the task.  You want to recognize individuals, but not at the expense of promoting team behaviors and results. Both of these common mistakes strip away at true motivation and collaboration. Structure reward and recognition in a way that makes it easy for people to “high five” each other and feel a sense of shared accomplishment.

Keep an eye on your personal behavior.  Actions speak louder than words.  Are you focused on individual accomplishment or team accomplishment?  If you are like most people, the answer is probably a little of both.  How does that affect your subsequent behavior?  As a leader, your actions are the single greatest teaching tool you have.  People watch your behavior for clues of what you truly believe.  What would people see if they watched you?  Consider where your own personal focus is.  Are you a serving leader—or more of a self-serving leader?  What do you personally believe about individual versus group recognition?  How does that play out in your work environment?

With a little bit of focus and some practice you can make important changes in your work environment.  Recognizing where you are is the first step.  Take that step and start making a difference in your life and the lives of the people around you.

“For example, if my dominant temperament craves variety, action, and a freedom to act without hindrance, I may devalue and see as obstacles people who are peacekeepers and more team focused, collaborative, and harmonious.

“While I may be very comfortable with change, and open to it, and even drive it most of the time, there are other temperaments that come from a place that is more cautious and wary of change. There is nothing wrong with either disposition—they are just different. Still, it’s very easy for someone who is more ‘change able’ to judge others who are not as ready. Conversely, it is very easy for someone who is more careful and guarded to turn around and judge someone who likes change as being less than rigorous in their thinking and not very respectful of achievements in the past.”

Dealing with your shadow

This is especially true when you are working with someone who is least like you. Blanchard refers to this as your “shadow” temperament.

“This is often experienced as an initial reflexive allergic reaction to someone, but you can’t put your finger on why,” explains Blanchard. “Often, the culprit is that the person’s dominant temperament is your shadow. That’s an incredibly important and helpful realization. Now you can manage your feelings. It’s also helpful when you notice that someone’s having an allergic reaction to you for no apparent reason. You can explore that you might possibly be their shadow.”

Understand yourself to better understand others

Recognizing the way you are helps you to understand how you are different from other people. Using this as a starting point, you can begin to modulate your communication style to be more effective with people who are different from yourself. It also keeps you from defaulting to a lazy, “Well this is the way I am, I can’t change,” attitude.

Blanchard’s advice for better work relationships?

• Job one is to understand yourself as best you can.
• Next, empathize and understand that people come from diverse perspectives.
• Finally, be able to engage in strategies that can foster better communication between people who may have profound differences in the way they see the world.

To read more about what Blanchard has to say about temperament and personality at work, check out the full text of Understanding Others Begins with Understanding Yourself.  Also see the information about a free webinar Blanchard is conducting on March 28, Temperament at Work: Understanding yourself and others.

Instead of telling you everything they knew about creating an energizing work environment, you’d be surprised by how many questions they would ask instead. There are a couple of key reasons for this and some best practices for anyone looking to help others improve.

Don’t assume you “know.” It’s easy, especially when you are an expert, to only half-hear what others are saying on a subject you’ve studied.   Your brain’s ability to match up what you are hearing and connecting it with past information can get in the way of really listening.  Experts have the hardest time hearing things and seeing them with fresh eyes.  It’s a condition called educated incompetence and you have to be on your guard and listen especially close or you’ll miss things while you’re processing and making connections.

Find out “why.”  Make sure that you have a complete understanding of what people are telling you.  Do you understand the nuances of what they are saying and why they feel the way they do?  Is there any part of their thinking that you still have questions about?  Be sure to ask.

Listen with the intent of being influenced.  This can be the biggest challenge for an accomplished consultant.  So much value is placed on the ability to assess a situation quickly and figure out what’s wrong.  This is a very useful skill in many situations but not so good when you are trying to understand someone else’s experience.  Instead of driving for closure, look for possibilities.  How does their position make sense?  Under what conditions could their recommendation work?

A case in point

If you keep yourself open, you might be surprised at what you learn.  Early in his career, Ken Blanchard did some consulting work with a manufacturing company that was having a problem with employee retention.  Every summer, employee turnover would spike and cause a major upheaval as the company struggled to find qualified people to replace those who were leaving.  Blanchard was brought in to get to the bottom of the problem.

After meeting with the executives, Blanchard asked if he could tour the plant.  His intention was to discuss the problem with people on the shop floor to see what was happening.

The executives were confused.  “Why do you want to talk to them—they’re the ones that are leaving.  Besides, we told you what the problem was.”

Blanchard insisted on touring the facility just to double-check some of the assumptions.  He conducted several interviews and started to hear the same thing over and over again.

• “It’s too hot in here during the summer.”
• “The heat is just unbearable.”
• “The air conditioning is useless.”

The biggest culprit causing turnover in this plant was the physical working conditions.  Employees on the floor knew it, but management didn’t have a clue.

Do you really know what’s going on with your people?  Take a second to double-check this week.  It never hurts to ask a few questions.  You might be surprised at what you find out.

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Sometimes, nothing is more damaging to a career than success.  It’s not always easy to see this at work in your own life, but you can certainly see it in others.  In the movie, The Artist, one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films, silent screen star George Valentin falls victim to this when his past success make him blind to changes in the industry.  His pride, success, and arrogance keep him from even experimenting with the new technology of “talkies” and it costs him everything as he sabotages his own career.  Fortunately for Valentin, rising star Peppy Miller never loses faith in him, and eventually she helps him grow, change, and adapt.

Has success made you resistant to growth?  Here are three places to look.

1. Have you lost sense of who you really are?  Success changes people.  After years of striving and hard work, when fame and fortune finally arrive, it’s easy to step into the success, immerse yourself, and completely believe what everyone is telling you about how great you are.  Yes, you do have great strengths, but don’t let them atrophy, or even worse, turn into weaknesses through overuse.  Take some time, now and then, for self-reflection.
2. Have you become isolated?  A lot of leaders will tell you that it is lonely at the top. One of the great things about rising up the ranks is that you always have colleagues and peers to share experiences or commiserate with.  Once you get to the top though, you’re on your own—at least in your own organization.  Who do you talk to now?  Make sure you still have mentors and friends that you can discuss things with.  Make an effort to reach out and connect again.
3. Do you keep trying to recreate the past?  In The Artist, George Valentin responds to the introduction of sound into movies by spending his own money to produce the world’s greatest silent film.  It’s a vain attempt to hold on to the past and it only ends up making him look foolish and dated.  The world is constantly evolving.  Make sure that you are evolving too.

Don’t let success in the past keep you from success in the future.  Follow the example of leaders who are still growing.  Gain an understanding of yourself, reach out to others, open your world, and step into your future.  Don’t wait until you’ve hit rock bottom to dust yourself off and take your first steps.  The new path is there.  Use your strengths and find it!  Get started today.

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PS: I’m just getting started watching this year’s Oscar nominated films.  Which ones have you seen?  Recommendations?  Any lessons you’ve learned?

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In a recent article for Blanchard’s online newsletter, Ignite! the authors warn that if leaders are not continually growing and developing their skills, they run the risk of becoming stagnant. Once you are stagnant—or even perceived as stagnant—your influence erodes.

Growth should never be an optional activity

Still, many leaders do not grow. And it can happen at any stage in a leader’s career. It can be triggered by work-life balance issues, a reactive mindset, or it can be for organizational reasons, such as limited growth opportunities.

But the reality is that all of these challenges can be overcome. As Blanchard and Miller explain, “It is the decision to grow that makes the difference. The best leaders make a conscious decision to grow throughout their career and their life. This single decision is a game changer for leaders.”

8 questions to ask yourself

Wondering if you are growing—or dying—as a leader?  Here are some key questions to ask yourself based on Blanchard and Miller’s recommended first steps for leaders looking to grow (self-evaluation, honest feedback, and counsel from others.)  To what extent would you agree or disagree with each statement?

Self Evaluation:

• I know my own strengths and weaknesses.
• I constantly look for opportunities to grow at work.
• I consistently tell myself the truth regarding my leadership.

Honest Feedback:

• I actively seek feedback from those I know to be truth-tellers.
• I have mastered the art and discipline of asking profound questions.

Counsel from Others:

• I have a mentor(s) who helps me grow.
• I frequently share what I’m learning with others.
• I have a group of people I trust to give me counsel on important issues.

How did you do?  Did your answers surprise you?  It may have been a while since you even considered the subject of growth—especially if you’ve been focused on the short-term or if you’ve become comfortable, complacent, or resigned in your current role. All of these are potentially destructive attitudes.

“Great leaders go out of their way to expand their worlds both inside and outside of work,” explain Blanchard and Miller. “A willingness to grow allows leaders to take advantage of opportunities when they come their way.

“You cannot always control the circumstances of your career or work environment. However, you can control your readiness to lead and grow. Leaders who don’t are susceptible to pride, ego, and other destructive attitudes that can impede growth. As a result, they can become isolated and have a distorted sense of what’s going on.”

As Blanchard and Miller warn, “Be ready to face the next challenge, or you can end up as a leader who tries to apply yesterday’s solutions to today’s problems. That’s a recipe for failure.”

To read more of Blanchard and Miller’s thinking on the importance of growth, check out If You Want to Lead, You Have to Grow.  Also, take a look at the free webinar the authors will be conducting on February 23, Great Leaders Grow: The Four Keys to Becoming a Leader for Life, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

While some of the factors that contribute to disengagement need to be addressed at an organizational level, there is one action that managers at all levels can take that will help the situation.  Talking about it.  Staying quiet on the subject and hoping that it gets better on its own never works out.  In fact, usually, things will get worse.

As the late great business author Peter Drucker pointed out, “Only three things happen naturally in organizations: friction, confusion, and underperformance. Everything else requires leadership.”

First Steps

Having a conversation with someone who has fallen into a state of disengagement can be a challenge.  There is usually some history that has to be dealt with, as well as some shared responsibility for the situation.  As a leader though, you have to address the situation squarely. That means setting up some time to have a conversation.

It will also be important to put some structure around that conversation.  One great framework that you can use are the 12 employee work passion factors identified by Blanchard as the factors which most impact employee intentions to perform at high levels, actively endorse the organization, and be a good corporate citizen.   Some thinking on your part, and some gentle inquiry around these areas in your first conversation, will help to provide that structure.

It’s also important to keep things positive and assume the best intentions.  Even though things may be in a difficult spot currently, it’s important to remember that very few people want to go into work to see what they can screw up.  That’s almost always a long term reaction to the environment.

Don’t wait and hope for things to get better.  Take some action today.  Most people, if given the chance, want to be magnificent.  What can you do to help bring out that magnificence in your people?  You’ll never know unless you ask.

PS: Interested in learning more?  Don’t miss this special online event!

On January 25, over 40 thought leaders from a wide variety of organizations will be getting together to share their ideas on how to address the quit and stayed phenomenon in a unique Leadership Livecast.  This is a free online event being hosted by The Ken Blanchard Companies and over 5,000 people have already registered to hear how to address the problem from an individual, team, or organization-wide point of view.

To learn more—or to participate in this complimentary online event, check out the information on the Quit and Stayed Leadership Livecast here.

Wow—now is your chance to be the one who CAREs about service!  Here are three places to start being the one who leads the charge so everyone in the organization has a customer service mindset:

1. Declare “legendary customer service” as an imperative. Put it out there. Say, “We want to be #1 in our space for delivering Legendary Customer Service.” Show any metrics you currently have and set new targets /metrics for success by showing what a good job would look like.  Explain the business imperative for service and have a kick-off meeting where senior leaders model the service they want others to emulate—greeting people at the door, shaking hands, valuing them for all they do, etc.  In this meeting, actively involve people in activities, get them fired up about the initiative, and have them challenge each other to rally to serve customers and contribute to the vitality of the organization.
2. Establish a service champion team who will go out and walk in the customer’s shoes.  Do some action learning.   Map the flow of customers and research positives and negatives by asking customers, employees, suppliers, and anyone who is in the service chain for their thoughts on what is working and what could be improved. Put them on the agenda at all company meetings to share their findings and use time to brainstorm options, set goals, create first steps, and assign roles.
3. Immediately showcase individual employee customer success stories and create images for everyone of the optimal service you are looking for. Remember that the brain stores in images and not words, so to create momentum, be sure to highlight ideal service successes and let people see their outstanding peers in action.  Show examples of customers singing praises to demonstrate the impact of great service. Share any improvements such as fewer complaints, improved referrals, or more repeat business.

As a leader, it’s important that you demonstrate a service mindset and show others how to accomplish it.  By following these three steps, you can get your organization off to a good start on a path that will lead to better performance.

“Creating an environment where goals are clear, where success can be seen, and where learning is encouraged will help employees engage customers with a true sense of meaning.”               

– Garry Ridge, President and CEO, WD-40 Company

1. Either-Or thinking

Executives are asked to make decisions—and they get more difficult the higher up you are.  People or profits?  Centralized or decentralized?  Frontline decision-making or command and control?  Leaders will often have to choose from among opposing viewpoints and the people supporting those viewpoints will be expecting and asking you to endorse either Plan A or Plan B.

Always consider a Plan C first.  While opposing camps argue for why their plan will work while the other point of view won’t, see if you can find a solution that incorporates the best of both proposals while minimizing the downsides.

For example, should we empower our frontline people to make decisions? Yes.  Is there the possibility that they will make mistakes if we do?  Yes.  Does that mean we have to choose between all decisions being made at the frontline, or all decisions being made at headquarters?  No.  There is a better decision that allows frontline decision-making and maintains accuracy and consistency.  Find it.

2. Confusing decision-making with taking action

As a leader, it is easy to think that your job is primarily to make decisions.  Decision-making is only the first step.  The purpose of leadership is to take action and move.  If five frogs are sitting on a log and one decides to jump, how many frogs are still sitting on the log?  The answer is five until the decision to jump is actually acted upon.  Don’t confuse decision-making for taking action.  Take action!

3. Making announcements with little follow-through

If good decision-making is hard—taking action is even more difficult.  The biggest trap for leaders is focusing too much time on getting things started and too little time on following through to achieve results.  Legendary former chairman of Herman Miller, Max De Pree once likened leadership to being a third-grade teacher when he said that it oftens means repeating things over, and over, and over again until people get it right, right, right.  As a leader you need to keep the vision alive—even after the newness wears off.  You also have to provide people with the tools and resources they need to get the job done.  Remember that there is a strategic and a tactical side to leadership.  To be effective, you have to be good at both.

Resources to help you get started

There are a lot of great resources available to help leaders get started or stay focused on making decisions and taking action.  Here are three that focus specifically on each of the points above.

• To help combat either-or thinking, check out Polarity Management by Barry Johnson.  It details a step-by-step process for finding the best solution when faced with seemingly opposite choices.
• Who Killed Change?  A great book which identifies the “usual suspects” that kill good ideas in companies and keeps decisions from turning into action.
• Helping People Win at Work  Identifies a clear, 3-step process for setting goals, providing resources, and following up effectively.

Make 2012 your best year ever.  Exercise your decision-making power.  Strive for the best solutions, take action, and follow-up.  You’ll be surprised at what you can achieve when you do!

The Three R’s of New Year’s

1. Revolutions – Circle back and review the resolutions you set for yourself last year. Furthermore, circle back and review any other important non-resolution goals you set for yourself last year. And while you’re at it, circle back and review any other big accomplishments from the past year – include wins AND losses that provided vital learning opportunities.
2. Revelations – Celebrate your successes! So often we get hung up on not fully achieving our resolutions and goals that we fail to realize just how much positive progress we’ve actually made towards them. This is especially true of resolutions which, for most people, tend to be extreme stretch goals. Don’t forget, they’re called “stretch” goals for a reason. For example, if last year you set out to lose 20 pounds but ended up only losing 10 pounds, you’ve still made positive progress worth celebrating. Be proud of the progress you’ve made toward your goals and celebrate what you have achieved, don’t dwell on what you haven’t achieved.
3. Resolutions – Now that you’ve reviewed and celebrated, it’s time to reset. Build off of what you’ve learned from reviewing the past year to determine how you can improve your approach and move closer to achieving (or fully achieve) your goals. When crafting your resolutions for the coming year, make sure that they’re authentic and meaningful to you. There’s a great post on this over at the PsychCentral blog offering 9 Tips for Setting Authentic New Year’s Resolutions.

As the year draws to a close, make sure not to skip steps 1 and 2 before crafting your resolutions. It’s important to review all of the valuable lessons you’ve learned and to celebrate all of your successes. You’ll be amazed at the great year you might not have realized you had! These two additional steps will put you in a positive state of mind and help set the tone for you to develop more meaningful, authentic, AND attainable resolutions.

Congratulations on all that you accomplished in 2011, and best wishes for an even more prosperous 2012!

Adam Morris is a featured blogger at Why Lead Now, one of LeaderChat’s sister blogs, focusing on the next generation of leaders. Follow Adam on Twitter @adammorris21.

Sometimes knowing can seem like doing.

According to authors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Bob Sutton, organizational inaction can often be traced to a basic human propensity: the willingness to let talk substitute for action.  In their classic Harvard Business Review article, The Smart-Talk Trap authors Pfeffer and Sutton explain that in business, “When confronted with a problem, people act as if discussing it, formulating decisions, and hashing out plans for action are the same as actually fixing it.”

But the results can be disastrous for a company.  As Pfeffer and Sutton point out, “Brought to a standstill by inertia, their problems fester, their opportunities for growth are lost, and their best employees become frustrated and leave. If the inactivity continues, customers and investors react accordingly and take their money elsewhere.”

So how do companies get past this inertia?  In studying companies with a strong propensity for action, Pfeffer and Sutton have found five common characteristics:

• “They have leaders who know and do the work.”  Leaders in these organizations have either grown-up in the business or spend a good portion of their time managing by wandering around.
• “They have a bias for plain language and simple concepts.” Leaders focus their efforts on a few, straightforward concepts.  They consider “common sense” a compliment rather than an insult.
• “They frame the questions by asking ‘how’, not just ‘why’.” Leaders look for ways to get things done instead of looking for ammunition for assigning fault.
• “They have strong mechanisms for closing the loop.” Leaders make sure ideas turn into action.
• “They believe that experience is the best teacher ever.” Prototyping, testing, and feedback is encouraged.  People are expected to take risks, occasionally make mistakes, and keep learning.

How would you score your organization in these five areas?  Is your corporate culture more “talking” or “doing” by nature?  If it seems a little conversation-heavy, develop an attitude of action.  Understanding, planning, and deciding are just the first step.  Doing is what counts.  Take action today!

Ready to get started?  Join us for a webinar this Wednesday!

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The High Cost of Poor Leadership: The three performance gaps you have to address Wednesday, December 7, 2011, 9:00 a.m. Pacific, 12:00 p.m. Eastern, 5:00 p.m. UK and GMT

Poor leadership practices cost companies millions of dollars each year by negatively impacting employee retention, customer satisfaction, and overall employee productivity. In this Webinar, Blanchard Program Director David Witt helps you take a closer look at the effect that leadership has in each of these three areas and what you can do to improve performance.

You’ll learn that

• Less-than-optimal leadership practices cost the typical organization an amount equal to as much as 7% of their total annual sales
• At least 9% and possibly as much as 32% of an organization’s voluntary turnover can be avoided through better leadership skills
• Better leadership can generate a 3 to 4% improvement in customer satisfaction scores and a corresponding 1.5% increase in revenue growth
• Most organizations are operating with a 5 to 10% productivity drag that better leadership practices could eliminate

Drawing on proprietary original research, you’ll learn which management techniques generate the best results and also look at some of the common cultural roadblocks that keep companies from implementing them. You’ll also learn how to overcome these obstacles and make the shift from knowing to doing.

Organizations need to make sure that they are getting the best out of their people by providing strong, consistent, and inspiring leadership. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to evaluate and improve leadership practices throughout your organization.

Register today! http://www.webex.com/webinars/The-High-Cost-of-Poor-Leadership-The-three-performance-gaps-you-have-to-address

This is a dilemma for most managers according to Scott Blanchard in a recent blog post for Fast Company magazine.  Blanchard explains that it is only natural to assign tasks to the most accomplished people on your team. The challenge is to balance a short-term need for immediate results with a long-term view for the growth and development of your people.

Finding the perfect balance

Drawing on some of the core concepts from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Blanchard explains that managers need to balance routine work that is easily accomplished with challenging new tasks that provide variety.

How can managers find the right balance?  Here are three strategies that Blanchard recommends:

• Become more aware of your goal-setting habits.  Have you optimized the challenge inherent in each person’s goals or tasks, or have you fallen into the habit of overusing and under-challenging your best people? Have you focused more on your own needs instead of theirs by giving them routine work you know they can accomplish successfully with little intervention on your part?
• Focus on both the long and short term.  Manage the urge to assign a task to a proven winner to ensure quick completion versus assigning the same task to someone who is brand new and may require some direction and support. But don’t go overboard. You don’t want to focus solely on employee development and compromise organizational effectiveness. Balance is the key.
• Create variety for yourself and others. According to Warren Bennis, the most effective managers are the ones who actively engage in clear periods of reflection as well as action. Balancing task variety is one of those projects that requires some discipline and awareness to think through.

Blanchard also reminds readers that most people become bored because they’re doing boring tasks—not because of a character flaw. Instead of moving away from a person you might see as a complainer, see that person instead as someone who is not really “in flow” and work with him or her to find out what the right mix could be. It’s a management basic that creates the long and short term impact that works best.

PS: To read more of Blanchard’s thinking on creating the right mix in your work environment, check out, Helping Your Employees Find Their “Flow” at Fast Company.

The only problem is that some of these characters don’t disappear on the day after Halloween.  Instead, they continue to haunt and torment people in workplaces everywhere.  See if you recognize some of these personalities working in your organization.  See anyone familiar?

• Frankenstein’s Monster: Functioning at a basic level. Has all of the pieces, but missing the emotional intelligence to function successfully in the work environment.
• Dracula the Vampire: Vain, self-absorbed, and elitist.  Operates in their own sub-culture, focused mostly on their own needs.   Uses people.  Sucks the life out of everyone around them.
• The Mummy: Mostly asleep. Spends most of their time unaware of what’s going on, but once you disturb them, or slight them in some way, watch out.
• Wicked Witch: Always plotting and concocting schemes.  Spends most of their time engaged in office politics and manipulating things behind the scenes.
• Werewolf: Generally destructive.  Given to emotional outbursts.  Unable to control urges. Often acts without thinking.

While these labels are seasonal, the behaviors behind them are not. If you report to one of these personality types it can be especially challenging.

If you are currently dealing with a personality like this in your work environment, authors Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster of Working With You Is Killing Me have a great four step “unhooking” process that can help you deal with monstrous behavior. Here’s their advice from an interview with Good Morning America:

Unhook physically: Release unwanted negative energy so that you can see your situation more clearly. For example, you come out of a business meeting feeling upset because your boss unfairly bashed you in front of your peers. You know you need to cool down. You look at your options. If you can grab a brisk five-minute walk outside, you go for it. If you can’t go outside, you go to the bathroom, splash your face with cold water, and BREATHE. When you’re in a distressed physical state, the last thing you want to do is calm down, but the fact is that if you want to change your life at work, you have to focus on relaxing physically first.

Unhook mentally: Unhooking mentally is the internal version of talking yourself down off the ledge. It involves looking at your difficult situation from a fresh perspective. Start with a quick inventory of the situation:

• What’s happening here?
• What are the facts of the situation?
• What’s their part?
• What’s my part?
• What are my options?

Unhook verbally: Verbal unhooking involves finding ways to say no without jeopardizing your job, speaking up when you feel overlooked, or tolerating your boss’s temporary silence immediately after you ask for a raise. To unhook verbally, you must be willing to focus on your overall goal in any situation rather than staying stuck in the petty details. It’s a high-road approach to communicating. The goal is to express your ideas and convey information in a manner that resolves problems rather than perpetuating them. High-road communication contains no judgment, no anger, and no accusations. It includes taking responsibility for your side of the situation.

 Unhook with a business tool: A business tool is any standard procedure or written document used in a business setting. It includes contracts, timesheets, job descriptions, memos, performance reviews, company policies and procedures, and other forms of documentation. Business tools help depersonalize challenging situations by providing objective ways to track events and measure performance. To unhook, survey the business tools available to you and identify which ones can help improve your situation.

Don’t let a boss’s bad behavior keep you from being productive at work. To learn more about the unhooking process, be sure to check out more information about  Working With You Is Killing Me here.

Now, instead of a healthy confidence that is attractive to followers, you come across as “conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry,” according to researchers at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

How can you tell the difference?  Here are ten warning signs. While all of us could probably see something of ourselves in this list, identifying closely with more than five of these characteristics could signal an overactive ego and an at-risk leadership style.

10 Symptoms of Narcissism

1. Believing that you’re better than others.
2. Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness.
3. Exaggerating your achievements or talents.
4. Expecting constant praise and admiration.
5. Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly.
6. Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings.
7. Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior.
8. Being jealous of others. Believing that others are jealous of you.
9. Setting unrealistic goals
10. Having a fragile self-esteem. Being easily hurt and rejected.

Regaining your balance

Is your ego on overdrive?  If that’s the case, here are some suggestions for keeping things in perspective.

Practice humility.  Mathew Hayward, author of Ego Check recommends that before you make any big decision, ask yourself three questions.  “Am I getting the right input into this decision?”  “Do I have someone whom I can trust to tell me when I’m wrong?” “Am I the very best person to be making this call?” 

Be curious. David Marcum and Steven Smith, authors of Egonomics encourage you to, “Give yourself permission to test what you think, feel, and believe to be true.  Remember that you aren’t expected to know everything about anything.”  They also recommend that you seek the truth. Find out what is really going on.  It helps close the gap between your perception and reality.

Practice self-compassion. Authors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell of The Narcissism Epidemic remind you to be kind to yourself while accurately facing reality. Also, be mindful. Practice living in the present. It keeps the self from entering every experience in your life. Mindfulness quiets the self-absorbed voice in your head so you can see the world more clearly. Finally, acknowledge commonalities with others.  Research shows that when narcissistic personalities discover something in common with others, egotism dissipates.

Best-selling business author Ken Blanchard often tells his audiences that EGO stands for Edging Good Out.  Don’t let an overactive ego limit your effectiveness as a leader.  Keep things in perspective for best results.

References

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms from Mayo Clinic website

Ego Check by Mathew Hayward

Egonomics by David Marcum and Steven Smith

The Narcissism Epidemic by Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell

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1. How clear were you with expectations?  Don’t expect an accountability conversation to go well if there is any fuzziness about what the goals were.  If you have concerns, use the time to re-clarify expectations.
2. How is your relationship with the team member?  The right to be candid with a person about their performance is the byproduct of a strong working relationship featuring frequent conversations.  If your relationship has been more of a “no news is good news” relationship in the past, shore that up first.

If you are feeling good about where you stand with these first two questions, congratulations—this meeting should go well.  (I’m also guessing that your good work in these first two areas means you don’t have to have many of these types of conversations in the first place!) 

Now, there are just a few more finer points to consider when delivering potentially sensitive feedback.

• Only give feedback on behaviors that can be changed (not on traits or personality).  Feedback works best when it is focused on behaviors instead of personality traits.  You shouldn’t be asking your people to make personality changes like,  “be more extroverted, or more feeling, or less linear in your thinking.”  Instead, focus on the things you see someone doing, or the things you hear someone saying. 
• Remember that people are okay—it’s just their behavior that is a problem sometimes. As a manager you need to separate the behavior from the person.  Don’t be judgmental.  Keep the focus on the behavior that needs to change. Say what needs to be said and let it sink in.  Then reaffirm the person and move on with expectations that behavior will change and that the person is up to the challenge.
• Help employees monitor their own behavior going forward.   Whenever possible, you want people to learn how to monitor their own behavior.  Teach them how to solicit feedback and be “participant observers” in their interactions with others.  Your goal is to help employees become self sufficient. You don’t want to create a dependent relationship where they are constantly looking for you to tell them how they are doing.

Providing feedback is one of the key ways that managers can improve performance and make things better at work. Don’t avoid feedback—even negative feedback. Done well, it will actually enhance your relationships at work. People will know you care and that their work is important.

PS: If you’d like to learn more about the finer points of delivering effective feedback, be sure to join The Ken Blanchard Companies for a free webinar on October 19.  That’s when senior consulting partner Phil Reynolds will be speaking on How to Deliver Feedback in a Way that Gets Results.  (Over 2,000 people are registered!) Click here for details.

As Reynolds explains, “Leaders often think that people should know something through their own devices and so they don’t give them feedback, or clear expectations, or redirection toward the target that they (the leader) are looking for.” These managers are often surprised later when they find out that their people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

By avoiding the situation and not addressing it early, managers will tend to create a lot of emotion around the issue when they finally deal with it. At that point, the tendency is to come down hard, and say things like, “You’re doing this wrong; fix it!”  Once that happens, resistance goes up.

With newer managers, Reynolds will often see behavior swing to the other side of the scale. Now the emotion centers on the relationship and how the feedback may damage it. As he explains, “Younger managers want to project a positive image and have people like them. When feedback gets tied up with emotion, these younger leaders find it difficult to give corrective feedback or to hold people accountable.”

Advice for Senior Leaders

For senior leaders recognizing these symptoms in their organizations, Reynolds recommends a 3-step approach:

• Take a look at your organization’s culture. Culture drives organizational behavior more than anything else. Make feedback a priority, recognize people who are good at feedback, and let people know that feedback is something that is valued and encouraged.
• Provide training. People can only do what they know how to do. It’s unreasonable to ask people to do something at which they don’t have the training or skill set to be effective.
• Model what effective feedback looks like. Demonstrate what positive and redirecting feedback looks like for the people reporting to you.

Read more about Reynolds’ advice for improving feedback in your organization here.  Also be sure to see the information about a free webinar Reynolds will be conducting on October 19, How to Deliver Feedback in a Way That Gets Results.  It’s a complimentary event, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

If you find yourself with an employee who doesn’t seem enthused to take on a new project and you can’t quite figure out why, here are three areas to explore. First identified by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1970’s, these factors are being rediscovered as management theorists and practitioners look at the factors that create an engaging work environment. 

1. Autonomy.  Everyone has a need to exercise some level of control over their environment.  Is the new role or project that you are assigning promoting autonomy in your employee, or will working on it make them more dependent on you and your organization?  Employees will move toward projects and roles that increase their sense of autonomy and will retreat from environments that they feel decrease it.  What is your new role or project offering?
2. Relatedness.  People are social animals.  It’s important to create opportunities for people to work in a way that allows them to feel cared for by others, and to be able to give back to others.  Even for people who seemingly want to work in an isolated manner with little interaction, there is still a need to be seen, accepted, and validated by others.  Will the new project you are proposing lead to an increased sense of connectedness, or promote isolation?
3. Competence.  Everyone needs to feel that they are growing.  People will move toward assignments which provide growth opportunities, and they will avoid assignments which seem to be dead ends.  While routine work is a part of most jobs, keep in mind that a properly constructed role or task will include opportunities to learn new skills and increased competencies. How does this new task rate on that scale?

People have good reasons why they act on certain tasks and why they delay taking action on others.

Even when managers set clear goals, provide day-to-day coaching, and follow-up with proper amounts of direction and support, employees can still be slow to take action if these sometimes hidden drivers of behavior are not taken into account.

Is someone you know dragging their feet on an assignment?  Keep in mind their perceptions of Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence.  Though often unspoken, they are always a part of an employee’s decision process.

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 PS: Would you like to learn more about creating an engaging environment for employees? 

Join The Ken Blanchard Companies for an Executive Briefing near you.  Upcoming cities include San Diego, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas, and St. Louis. 

Learn more here.

If learning is important to success in today’s complex business environment, why don’t more organizations take the time to train people in the skills they need more effectively?

It’s because most managers and leaders are not trained how to teach according to Dr. Vicki Halsey, Vice President of Applied Learning at The Ken Blanchard Companies.   Most leaders are more accustomed to telling instead of teaching—and are often disappointed when they check back to see how people are doing with applying new skills.

If you want your people to pick up new skills more quickly, Halsey recommends addressing six areas when rolling out a new initiative.  Have you got a new program that you are getting ready to launch?  See if you you’ve covered these six basics to maximize learning and application.

1. Energize learners.  Set the context for learning before anyone steps into the classroom.  What can people do to get up-to-speed on this subject?  What can they read, or who can they talk with, to become as excited about this topic as you are?
2. Navigating the content.  Is the presentation learner friendly? Have you put together a good structure that includes breaking the content down into bite-sized chunks that people can easily digest?  Or have you designed this as a lecture type presentation where you will be doing all the talking and it will be a challenge just getting through the content—let alone actually retaining anything?
3. Generate meaning.  Have you connected the dots so people see why learning this new content is important?  People need to see why they should take the time to invest in learning new skills.  Your job as a leader is to provide that meaning.
4. Apply the learning.  What does this new skill look like in the real world?  Have you included some opportunities to practice the real life application of this new skill—or is that something you are leaving up to individual learners to figure out for themselves?
5. Gauge and celebrate.  How will you measure if people are really doing something different with the content?  Don’t be vague on this point.  What is the business metric you are looking to impact?  ROI is something you need address at the beginning of a new initiative—not after the fact.
6. Extend the learning.  How will you keep the initiative alive beyond the initial rollout?  New habits take time to develop and a lot of support in the early days.  What is your follow-up plan?  How will you ensure that skills learned in the classroom are applied back on the job?

A 2010 Bersin report shows that organizations that successfully create strong learning cultures are more likely to be strong innovators in their markets, more likely to get to market before competitors, and more likely to be a market-share leader.

Learning new skills is an important necessity in today’s work environment.  Don’t leave it to chance in your organization.  Take a proactive approach to teaching people new skills.

The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 600 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, Vicki will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

 Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  Vicki will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Now posted! View recording of 6 Keys to Creating Learning Experiences that Inspire and Engage

As soon as they found out, the board would call Blanchard in to explain himself.  As Ken describes it, the exchange usually went something like this:

Ken: “I’m confused.”

The Board: “You act like it.”

Ken: “I thought we are supposed to teach these kids.”

The Board: “You are, but don’t give them the exam ahead of time.”

Ken would never listen and would actually spend the entire semester teaching the students the answers to the questions.  Ken’s belief was that his main job was to teach students the content they needed to learn, as opposed to worrying about evaluating them properly with the final exam.

Dr. Vicki Halsey, VP of Applied Learning for The Ken Blanchard Companies uses a similar approach when it comes to teaching. Instead of using tests to identify what people don’t know at the end of leadership training, she uses tests to help people claim and celebrate what they do know.  A recent example is work she did with pharmaceutical representatives who needed to learn a new skill in collecting information from doctors.  Halsey’s approach helped the learners to feel confident in what they knew and successful when they walked out the door and returned to their jobs.

How do you want people feeling when they finish a class?  Do you want people focusing on what they don’t know, or ready to put into practice what they do know? It’s a subtle difference that makes all the difference.

You can read more about Halsey’s unique approach to adult learning at Leaders Need to Be Teachers.  Also check out Halsey’s free July 20 webinar on 6 Keys to Creating Learning Experiences that Inspire and Engage courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

The problem, according to Dr. Vicki Halsey of The Ken Blanchard Companies is that leaders confuse telling with teaching.  In a recent article for the Blanchard Companies’ Ignite! newsletter, Halsey explains that, “If leaders want people to develop new behaviors, they have to become better teachers of what to do and how to do it.”

For leaders looking to get started, Halsey recommends three strategies:

1. Break Learning Down into Manageable Chunks

Leaders need to give people an opportunity to learn the new skills over time, using a variety of different modalities that go beyond a one-time exposure to the content.

2. Create Meaning to Embed Learning

Executives need to generate meaning for the new learning. They need to answer the question “Why is this important for me to learn?” Generating this meaning and connecting it to learning the new skill helps people retain the skill over the long term because now they can see the importance of the task.

3. Remember the 70/30 Rule

According to Halsey, “When people are getting ready for a presentation they focus 70 percent of their time on what they are going to say.” Halsey believes this time would be better spent thinking about how to create a learner-centered environment that helps people learn. As she explains, “Leaders need to shift their focus and spend only 30 percent of their time worrying about what they need to say and 70 percent on how to create the greatest transfer of learning to their participants.

According to Halsey, “The biggest thing is to teach, not tell. Very often leaders think that because they are telling people what they want them to do, people are turning around and doing it. We need to realize that teaching, not telling, is a discipline at which all leaders need to become effective—because the more you teach, the more people will learn and the more successful they will be.”

You can read more of Halsey’s advice to leaders at Leaders Need to Be Teachers.  Also check out Halsey’s free July 20 webinar on 6 Keys to Creating Learning Experiences that Inspire and Engage courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

This presents a huge challenge for businesses today according to Randy Conley, Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. In the latest issue of Blanchard Ignite!, Conley explains, “Trust is at the foundation of all relationships—whether it is interpersonal or organizationally… leaders face the fallout from low trust through decreased performance and increased disciplinary issues, low morale, and increased turnover and absenteeism, just to name a few.”Conley reminds leaders that trust isn’t something that happens by itself. It is developed through the use of very specific behaviors.

“What will not work is for leaders to use the old ‘ostrich’ method by sticking their head in sand and hoping that the problem will go away or improve by itself. The behaviors that we use as leaders can either build trust or erode trust.”

Conley recommends that leaders use an ABCD model to identify specific behaviors to improve trust in their relationships.

• A is for Ability, which is all about the leader’s expertise. Are you demonstrating that you know what you are talking about?
• B is for Believable.  Do you demonstrate character, integrity, and values?
• C is about Connectedness, which is the care and concern leaders demonstrate toward people.  Do you take the time to connect and build rapport with people?
• D is about Dependability. It is about being reliable.  Can people count on you to follow through on your commitments?

Tackling trust one step at a time

“Trust is built through the use of very specific behaviors,” explains Conley. “When you say that there is a trust issue in a relationship, or in an organization, that can seem like a big, hairy monster at first. But when you break it down into the specific behaviors characterized with the ABCD model, trust becomes a much more manageable issue that can be worked on and fixed.”

To learn more about Conley’s thoughts on improving trust—including the one behavior that all leaders can address immediately—read The Leader’s Role in Building Trust. 

To participate in a free webinar that Conley will be conducting on June 15, click on Four Leadership Behaviors that Build or Destroy Trust.  (Over 800 people are registered for this free webinar courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies and Cisco WebEx.)

Smith explained that people are constantly seeking to meet deep seated needs in four areas: survival, love, significance, and variety. And their experience in getting their needs met in these four areas creates a “belief window,” that drives their behavior. Since everyone has different experiences in these four areas, Smith explained that we each have different belief windows that color our perceptions.

At work, the challenge is when we have beliefs that result in behaviors that hold us back. For example, procrastination based on a fear of making mistakes or a constant need for attention based on a past sense of insignificance.

As a leader, it is important to periodically look at your beliefs—especially if you feel that your behaviors are not generating the results you want. Here’s a six-step process that Smith outlined that will help you get started

1. Identify the behavior patterns. What is holding you back?
2. Identify possible principles driving the behavior. What are your experiences and beliefs in this area?
3. Predict future behavior based on those principles. If you continue to hold on to these beliefs, what are the likely outcomes you can expect?
4. Identify alternative principles. Is there a way to challenge or reframe that belief? Is it necessarily true? More importantly, is that belief serving you?
5. Predict future behavior based on the new principle. If you did adopt a new belief, what are some potential new behaviors you might expect?
6. Compare steps three and five. Look at the results you want versus the results you are currently getting. Are you where you want to be? If not, what beliefs need to change first?

Our reality is based on our perception. How are you perceiving the world? Is it getting you where you want to go? If not, take a look at your belief window. Are their some things you can clean up starting today?

It was about this time a couple of years ago and I was working on getting in shape.  I had bought a couple of books on nutrition, some new running shoes and workout clothes, and I had printed off some recommended exercise routines with space to chart my progress.   With every purchase I made, I explained to my wife how this book would help me eat better, how this exercise would impact this certain muscle group, and how this equipment would speed up the process. All through January I studied and read and researched my subject until I knew exactly what I needed to do to get back in shape. 

Once I had learned everything, it was time to put all that information into action.  I wasn’t quite as gung ho about this part of the process.  In February I only went to the gym a couple of times and by March I was going only once a week (if it worked out with my schedule.)

My wife was good natured about all of this until we were visiting my parents toward the end of the month.  My dad and I were talking about health and exercise when the topic of yoga came up.  I explained to my dad that I was incorporating yoga into my exercise routine.  My dad shared that he got great benefit from alternate nostril breathing and practicing the cobra position while watching TV.  As my wife watched the two of us drinking beer, eating chips, and talking about the benefits of yoga she had finally had enough.  She asked both of us to lift our shirts so she could see the results of all of our yoga training.  Considering that we were both about 20 pounds overweight at the time and with most of it settled into generous spare tires around our midsections, we looked at each other sheepishly and politely declined.    It was a good reminder that knowing and doing are two different things.

Since then, “Lift up your shirt,” has been a fun reminder in our family to move beyond talking to actually doing something different.  Knowing what to do is an important first step, but actually changing your behavior is where you need to get to.

Are you ready to get started on putting your good intentions to work?  Here are three tips to help you along the way:

1. Decide on what you want.  This all about goal setting.  Since this is a leadership focused blog, let’s use a leadership skill example.  Listening is a skill many executives want to get better at.  Find a good model and stick with it.  In this case, we can use the EAR model—explore what the other person is saying, acknowledge you heard what they said by paraphrasing, and then respond in your normal fashion.
2. Put it into practice. In as many conversations as possible, start to use and practice the new skill you want to develop.  At this stage remember to be easy on yourself. Maintain your humor and esteem while learning.
3. Emotionalize only the good.  You are going to have good days and bad days.  The key is to “catch yourself doing things right” as often as possible while you are developing your new skill.

Changing behavior is difficult.  But if you focus on a couple of key things, practice them on a regular basis, and are easy on yourself along the way, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.