Dear Madeleine,

I am a young professional woman in the biotech space. I started with one company right out of college and then was recruited away to the company I am with now. I double majored in biology and business, and my company is paying for me to get an MBA right now. I love my job, I love school, and I have big dreams to someday be a member of a team that uncovers new medical approaches with plant compounds.

Here is my dilemma: I spend time with my friends from college (not much, because of work and grad school), and the conversation always seems to turn to balancing career and life, not wanting to be a slave to a company, and not letting our job define us. Most of my friends are pairing up, and it seems that one person (usually the woman) tends to sacrifice their ambition for their partner.

I don’t say much in these conversations because I don’t want to have to defend myself. But the fact is that I am delighted to work all the time, I love what I am doing, and I think my dreams and ambitions very much define me.

My mother is worried I am going to end up alone and will regret being so career-focused right now. Also, she wants grandchildren and I am not at all certain I even want to have kids.

What do you think? Am I making a mistake?

All In for Work

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear All In for Work,

Short answer: No. It is a beautiful thing to have a compelling mission. It makes life super fun and interesting. As long as you are reasonably happy, this can make for a very rewarding life—and you sound perfectly happy right now. There is no reason to let yourself be pressured by peers who aren’t having the same experience you are having. Or by your mother (sorry, Mom), who, of course, wants only the best for you but does not seem to see who you truly are. There is one moment in your life when you can focus on your work with no distractions or obligations, and it is now. I say enjoy the heck out of it while it lasts.

Longer answer:

I was born in 1960, so when I was at your stage in life I was being fed what turned out to be a bit of a lie (from the older wave of Boomers) that “women can have it all.” My experience was that women can have it all, just not all at the same time. The other secrets no one mentioned was that the women who want it all need to have three critical things:

1. An unusual amount of stamina. The person who needs to get a solid ten hours of sleep every night, to exercise for at least an hour a day, and to meditate for another hour is going to have a tough time raising kids and crushing a career.
2. A job situation which allows a great deal of flexibility to get work done on their own schedule.
3. A partner (eventually) who is as dedicated to their success as they are to their own.

The thing you have now that so many generations of women didn’t have is choice.

Keep this in mind: the best thing you can do for yourself is keep your options open as you go. As you near your thirties and find yourself on the fence about having kids, you can always freeze your eggs. What you are noticing about how one partner in a relationship tends to sacrifice opportunities is statistically accurate. So if you meet a potential partner who feels right for you, make sure you are upfront about your ambitions and be clear that is not something you are signed up to do, so there is never any confusion. Many young people make the decision to become part of a duo out of fear of ending up alone, but I can tell you from where I stand that making big life decisions out of fear rarely turns out well.

You are asking the right questions, All In. The key is to keep checking in with yourself on a regular basis to make sure you still want exactly what you have created and are creating for yourself. Values—the things most important to us—do change. And yours may change. You just don’t want that to happen without noticing it. The thing you most want to avoid is regret. The more experience and education you accrue, the more choices you will generate for yourself.

You are one hundred percent allowed to design your own life exactly the way you want. Everyone you talk to will have an opinion about it (including me!) and, as interesting as the opinions may be, the only one that matters is yours. As long as you are keeping your options open and your finger on the pulse of what matters most to you, you will be ready to pivot quickly should you desire.

So go, go, go! Study hard, work harder, and enjoy your progress. As long as you stay tuned in to your inner voice, you will be just fine.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work for a large publishing company. I started here because my dream is to someday be a published author, so I thought I would at least be in the industry.

I have been here for four years. I started in marketing and am now an editorial assistant, which sounds a lot loftier than it is. I get a lot of coffee, manage schedules, and, very occasionally, read submissions.

Anytime I am asked to do anything remotely editorial, I end up doing it on my own time, because my boss—who is very erratic and disorganized—is constantly throwing tasks my way. I also get tasks from other editors who apparently don’t trust their own EA to do them correctly. My free time is when I work on my novel.

My boss recently asked me if I would be interested in managing all the editorial assistants. It sounds like I would still have my job as her editorial assistant, but would also oversee the nitty-gritty for all the others (there are six of us). Basically, none of the senior editors want to do the paperwork involved with annual reviews, vacation requests, or dealing with poor performance.

My boss is positioning this as a promotion. There would be a bump in pay, which would be welcome since the pay is barely adequate as it is (some EA’s work remote, but I am in NYC and the cost of living is absurd). However, the job would entail a lot of responsibility, which would make it almost impossible for me to do the work I want to be doing. Plus, all these people are my friends, and I would be taking the side of their boss in holding them accountable and giving them feedback.

I already know who the slackers are—the ones who duck work and slide by doing the bare minimum. What I really want is a promotion to full-time editor. I have never wanted to manage people; I can barely manage myself. I want more money, but this feels like I’m making a deal with the devil. Also, if I don’t take it, one of my peers will and then I would potentially report to someone I know way too well and don’t respect.

I am in such a muddle. I don’t want to sell out my dream. Can you help me with this?

Deal with the Devil?

___________________________________________________________

Dear Deal with the Devil,

Yes. I can.

I can tell you that you already know the answer. There is no muddle here. You see the whole landscape very clearly. The editors are trying to delegate work that is at best tedious, at worst emotionally draining.

Trying to manage your peers will be the exact nightmare you anticipate. You will be able to manage the poor shmo who eventually bites this fishhook. Just don’t let your lack of respect show.

If you need time to write, you must fight to protect it. You can live without expensive treats like Starbucks, but you can’t give up on your dream. Not yet, anyway.

There are not that many truths to live by. For example, when something seems too good to be true, it is. When people tell you who they are, listen. The one to apply in your case is when you suspect you are making a deal with the devil, you are.

Write.

Love, Madeleine

PS: I am an obsessive reader, so if you need readers, I promise I will read your novel.

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a mid-level manager in a global software company. I have been working here for about ten years and I lead three teams. Right now I am working with my manager on our goals for 2024 and I can already tell that there is no way my teams are going to be able to deliver on all of them.

We have been pushing like crazy all this year with a promise that the pressure would let up at the end of the year. As it is, I have to talk someone off the ledge daily. Now I am looking down the barrel of another year of nonstop work. I feel terrible about this—like I am breaking a promise to my people.

My boss isn’t a jerk. I know she is being pressured from above. She would never say it, but I can sense the unspoken “if you can’t get this done, I will find someone who can.” There has to be some way to manage my people’s and my boss’s expectations more effectively, but I don’t know what it is.

What do you think? I am beginning to think that I can’t live with the kind of anxiety that is building up with no relief in sight. How do I manage this relentless tension?

Pressure Cooker

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Pressure Cooker,

Well, this sounds like situation normal. Almost everyone I speak to is feeling this way. Here are the choices you have to consider:

• Negotiate for more (or more skilled) resources.

Carefully break down each goal into discreet tasks and estimate the time required to complete it. If you can show the math of what it will take to complete all of the required work, and how it will be physically impossible for your existing people to do it, you may be able to get more help. It is hard to argue with math.

You may get countered with “work smarter, not harder.” If you think that might be the case, be prepared to request the kind of training that would help your people to do that. (There might not be any.) With your experience, you probably know how long it should take people to do certain things—and some things just take the time they take. Doing this will also help you pinpoint if you have any team members who cannot get the work done in a reasonable timeframe. You may need to upskill or replace some folks. This can be hard, but honestly, sometimes people are in the wrong job and it isn’t doing them any favors to not address that. You can take a stand as long as you can show that you have really thought it through.

• Negotiate a reduction in distractions.

Of course I don’t know how much of an issue this is, but if your company is like anyone else’s, you and your people are probably asked to join any number of meetings that don’t contribute directly to getting the job done. Look at what those are, and do everything you can to get a few of those items off of the required list.

• Negotiate to reduce the deliverables.

This is the most obvious, and the one your boss is expecting from you. This is probably the least effective option for you at this time. However, I do urge you to check out the boss’s unspoken threat—you might be making it up. This is a classic way for people to needlessly ratchet up their stress levels. You can literally ask your boss what the consequence would be of not being able to deliver on everything.

You absolutely can and should:

• Work with your boss to prioritize.

In the spirit of wanting to under-promise and over-deliver, you can ask your boss to put each required outcome in order of priority. The hard truth is that if everything is a priority, that means nothing is a priority. I suspect your boss knows this as well as you do. So as long as you know your people are focused on the must-haves and will get to the nice-to-haves, that should help you manage your stress level.

• Work with your team to design sprints.

Since no one can go full-out all the time, work with your team leads to design one week of go-hard sprints and then one week of regular work. It isn’t a new idea, but I have seen it work well. You can read more about that here.

In the meantime, I hate to say it, but the intensity in most workplaces seems to be here to stay. You must decide whether you are going to live with it or try to find a more forgiving environment. If you choose to live with it, you have to find ways to take care of yourself and encourage the same for your people. Find one thing you can do to help you manage your stress and commit to it. Meditation, exercise, yoga—whatever has worked for you in the past. You also need to get some perspective. Breathe, do your best, remember that nobody dies in software development and that what gets done is what gets done, and be okay with that. A little perspective can go a long way.

I know it feels like you are breaking a promise, but the fact is that you have limited control over your environment. You can explain that to your people and share what you are doing to advocate for sanity. And at least now you know to be a little more cautious with your promises in the future.

Part of being a leader is choosing one’s attitude and what to focus on. This is your opportunity to do that. Your people will follow your lead.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have had a long and varied experience in law. I started as a public prosecutor in corporate law and rose quickly to reporting to the General Counsel.

My current boss isn’t going anywhere for a long time, and I feel ready to go for a GC position myself. I put feelers out at the beginning of January. I believed taking that step would put a lot of things in motion—ready or not—based on my past experience. And that is exactly what has happened.

I have some really interesting interviews coming up for GC roles that present considerable gaps for me (regarding technical knowledge, not leadership). I am thinking about how to be transparent about strengths and weaknesses (i.e., opportunities to develop) without arguing against myself. I like being in a little bit over my head and figuring it out, but this would be the deepest water yet.

Any framing/grounding thoughts you can share as I expose myself for what might be next?

Ready to Take the Leap

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ready to Take the Leap,

I am not a headhunter or a career expert, but I do have some thoughts based on working with clients who are always wrestling with getting hiring right. I think there might be some value to the perspective. I hope others with different expertise will add useful ideas in the comments, as well.

• Make sure you are interested and engaged in the company and the industry, and well versed in the challenges they face, so at the very least it’s clear that you’ve done your homework. The last time our board interviewed people for the CFO position, I was a little taken aback by how many final candidates did not bother to achieve even baseline knowledge of our industry.
• Study the CEO and ascertain what matters most to them. What is the vision, what are the values (if any), and how would you align with those in the job?
• You can’t pinpoint all the technical gaps you may have, because you won’t know what you don’t know until you get in there and roll your sleeves up. But maybe you can speak to one or two of them and make it clear you intend to close the gaps, should it come up. I think preparation to address concerns is your best bet on that.
• Clarify your top strengths for yourself. Based on your varied background, it sounds like you are a fast learner and have always depended on being able to figure things out. What else are you naturally gifted at, or what other skills have your developed along the way? Are you fast on your feet when decisions need to be made? Super calm in a crisis? A creative problem solver? Be prepared to share brief examples of how your strengths have been useful to your CEO or your team in the past.
• If a comprehensive job description exists—and I find that even in mature, well-run organizations that is not always the case, especially for the C-Suite level—be ready to address each expectation with how you will rise to it.
• Also be ready to emphasize any transferable experience and skills and how exactly you see them transferring to a different industry or company.

Finally, be prepared with questions that illustrate your curiosity about the business, the industry, and the culture. There is such a thing as a stupid question in this environment, so be sure not to ask something you could easily find answers to in the annual report. You might ask questions like:

• What do you think of as your “secret sauce”—the thing that differentiates your organization from (name a competitor)?
• Of all your strategic initiatives (extra points if you can name them), which is most critical right now?

Companies have two choices when hiring at the C level: either find someone who has already worked at that level (who usually demands a much higher salary) or take a risk with someone who is stepping up. There are advantages to each choice. The advantage of going with someone stepping up is more drive, hunger to prove themselves, willingness to try new things, and humility. You won’t be set in your ways, you will work hard to learn and find the best way. I would say given the kind of complexity any company is dealing with these days, that would be an asset. The more you can demonstrate those qualities—with, of course, the appropriate gravitas—the better off you will be.

Finally, preparation is your friend. Practice with a friend, mentor, or partner and give them some classic behavioral interviewing questions so you can respond with well thought through, succinct answers. Here are some behavioral interviewing questions you can use to get started:

• Describe a situation in which there was a lot of disagreement and you needed to influence your leadership team to consider the option you were proposing more closely.
• Discuss how you have dealt with a tight deadline that required you and your team to go above and beyond the usual.
• What is the worst mistake you have made, and how did you deal with the consequences?

You can ask our friend Google for more examples. It will help you feel ready for anything. Good luck with your big leap. I have a feeling you will land in the right place.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I work in a company that has recently gone to a matrix environment. It is kind of a disaster because no one seems to know what that means. Trying to get anyone to make a decision so I can move forward with projects on a deadline is making work incredibly stressful. I pride myself on getting things done on time, and I am going to be late on several key deliverables through no fault of my own.

I have at least two bosses now and am not sure which person to go to for what. One of them is not at all interested in letting go of her previous unilateral authority and is resisting my efforts to get the buy-in I need from her before I move ahead with things.

I am really struggling. Any ideas would be helpful.

Matrix Madness

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Matrix Madness,

Yours isn’t the first (and won’t be the last) company to adopt a shift to a matrix organizing structure without properly preparing everyone. (For details on matrix organizations, click here.) It is a source of universal suffering—and until things get worked out, you will have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Essentially, your company (like many others) is trying to get everyone in the organization to be more included, which will eventually help all of you manage the complexity of your business. Moving to a matrix is supposed to break down silos and solve the problem of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. And it can—it just causes a fair amount of chaos first.

I have a few ideas, all of which come from working with clients who have been through a similar change.

1. First, try to relax. Everyone is upside down, not just you. Identify the projects you are responsible for that are critical and time sensitive. Ask yourself: Will a customer be upset if the project is late? Will other projects be held up if things are delayed on my end? Once you have identified those, communicate with anyone who may be affected by your delays. Anything you can do to avoid disappointing people and to manage expectations on your deadlines will help relieve your anxiety.
2. Try to escalate the extent of the confusion to the company leadership. Your organization has adopted a massive change effort without taking the steps to educate and bring people along, which is why one boss is not onboard and is causing static for you. Maybe there is a way for you to ask for more training or more direction on what it means to work in a matrix.
3. A matrix will force you to act more like a leader. Communicate in writing all decisions and all intel you have to anyone who needs to be involved in a decision. Provide deadlines for feedback along with your own recommendations. Make clear when you will be moving forward, so that everyone knows their input is needed by a certain time.
4. Half your problem is that the change has been implemented as you are mid-project with many things, so that makes it harder. In the future, at the beginning of new projects, use a RACI chart so you know who to involve at what step. A RACI is a time honored way for setting up a project that clarifies who needs to be involved and how. I know a lot of people learn this in business school—it seems to be immediately forgotten, but is incredibly useful.

A RACI chart identifies the following:

R — Responsible – who is responsible for doing the work on a daily basis and making sure each item that needs to get done has an owner and is tracked.

A — Accountable – who is ultimately accountable for getting a goal or task completed, has the power to approve or veto actions or final product.

C — Consulted – who needs to have input into how the task gets done, whose opinion must be sought through two-way conversation. This step is often overlooked, which can cause a lot of problems.

I — Informed – who has an interest in the work because it will affect them in some way and needs to be kept up to date and notified of results. This can usually be a one-way communication.

Just because you are midstream with some of your projects doesn’t mean you can’t at least try to figure out the RACI now.

Dealing with your recalcitrant boss is a whole separate issue. You might want to have a one on one with her to explain why you feel the need to loop more people into decision making. Certain kinds of managers who experience having certain kinds of information and making decisions as a form of power can really struggle in a shift to a matrix. You might share this article with her and maybe even the RACI chart idea. You may end up having to go around her—which will certainly decrease her power and relevance—but you can’t really control her behavior.

You are obviously a dedicated and responsible contributor. Learning to navigate this disruption without letting yourself get upset will serve you well. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are going to be fine.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior leader who reports to an SVP. I lead a business unit for a region. I recently had a one-on-one with my boss—a rare thing—and she gave me some feedback I am grappling with.

My company recently started doing pulse surveys, so I thought she might want to talk about the scores from my business unit that made it seem people’s morale was low. I was right.

She said I was very good at processes and systems and she was pleased with my unit’s results. Then she told me she thought I needed to work on being more inspirational. She asked me what my vision is for my business unit and I had to admit, beyond hitting our numbers and deliverables, I don’t really have one. Then before I could get more detail, she was called away and that was that.

I don’t even know where to begin on how to create a vision—or what to do with it once I have it. Any insight would be useful.

Feeling Blind

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Feeling Blind,

This is a very common predicament for people who are straddling senior management and executive management positions. You have been consistently promoted because you are great at setting up processes and systems, holding people accountable, and executing results. But until someone points out that you need to start developing your ability to inspire and motivate people, it just doesn’t occur to you. So here you are.

It’s okay; you can do this. It might be uncomfortable but getting good at it at this point in your leadership journey will serve you very well.

The first step is to remember a leader you had in the past who did inspiration and motivation well. Try to remember what that leader did that worked. You can also ask your SVP for her vision so that you have an example of what she means—but the fact that you are drawing a blank on this leads me to think your boss may not have a vision either. Or if she does, she hasn’t shared it or it is unremarkable.

For guidance, I turned to the book FULL STEAM AHEAD! Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Company and Your Life. Authors Ken Blanchard and Jesse Stoner define vision as “knowing who you are, where you are going, and what will guide your journey.”

Essentially, it means you are providing the why—the context and meaning of the work your people are doing. You are painting a compelling picture of a job well done that will Be motivating for your team.

People often talk about creating a vision—but I would argue that you probably have one already. It’s clear that you are super motivated, which is probably because you have a strong sense of what is possible and how the success of your team connects to the success of the organization. So your job is to articulate those things as simply as possible. My experience is that many leaders think these ideas are obvious to others because they are obvious to them. And this is never the case. You have to spell it out, and then you have to repeat it like you are broken record.

Blanchard and Stoner lay out the elements of a Compelling Vision. The questions and comments below each element are mine:

• It helps us understand what business we are really in.

You know what results you are after. But what will those results do the for the company? The world? What does your team do that no other team does? A great example is Disney, who we all know is in the theme park business but they say they are in the business of making memories.

• It provides a picture of the desired future that we can actually see.

What is possible for your BU if you continue to do well? Maybe you could grow? Attract top talent? Be a role model for other BUs?

• It provides guidelines that help us make daily decisions.

What values do you use to make decisions? Have you shared those? What behaviors do you expect from your people? Do they know?

• It is enduring.

What makes your team great? What makes it special?

• It is about being great, not just about beating the competition (or in your case, hitting the numbers.)

You and your team are doing a lot of the right things. What do you do? How do you do it? How can these things be replicated? How are you different from other teams or business units?

• It is inspiring, which is not expressed solely in numbers.

A vision is different from a goal, which can usually be expressed in measurable terms.

• It touches the heart and spirit of everyone.

It may feel too arrogant or touchy-feely to express possibility or highest ideals and use language that it isn’t brass tacks. This can be what makes it so uncomfortable for many. It took me twenty-two years to get the courage to include the word love in the vision for Blanchard Coaching Services. 

• It helps each person see how they can contribute.

More than ever before, employees are seeking meaning and connection. When people can see how what they do connects with the bigger picture, it makes their job much more compelling.

Once you have your answers to some of these questions, you are ready to get a draft vision down on paper. Don’t worry about getting it right the first time—just get it all down. Then revise, word craft, and keep at it until you have something simple. Short and sweet is much easier to remember.

You might want to follow your vision statement with a mission statement. The vision is what is possible, and the mission is why you do what you do, and for whom. A mission statement structure could look like this:

Our mission is to __________ (do something) for __________(what people?) so that __________(those people can have something, do something, and feel some way).

There is no reason you can’t involve your team at this point. Let them poke at it and provide further input.

Then share it. With everyone. Start meetings by restating the vision. Ask people to print it out and put it over their desks. If you are all in the office, have posters made. In the rough and tumble of the workday, it is easy to lose sight of the vision. You should take any opportunity you can to remind your people what it is.

This will undoubtedly feel downright weird and risky to you. Feel free to share your discomfort with your people so you aren’t trying to pretend to be someone you aren’t or be good at something you are doing for the first time. You can also share that the whole exercise is a work in progress and that you are open to reworking it.

The key is to start. Examine what drives you, what makes what you do matter. Get all of your thoughts down on paper and then start shaping them. Take your time. Be prepared to have things sound hokey, or high minded, or farfetched. It will all come into focus.

I have no idea if this is what your boss meant. But I can promise that the work you do on this will not be wasted time. It will give you new insight into your team and yourself as a leader—and it almost certainly will be inspirational.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I report to a CHRO in a large global manufacturing company where I’ve worked for 15 years. About two years ago our company was sold to a group of investors, and they installed a new CEO.

At first the CEO said all the right things about how important the people are—but over time it has become clear that his mandate is to squeeze as much short-term profit out of the company as he can.

He has demanded the kind of cutbacks, especially in HR, that make it impossible for us to do our jobs without working absolutely all the time. He keeps telling us to do more with less, leverage technology, blah blah—the usual. We went from having beautifully designed and delivered onboarding, management training, and leadership development programs to essentially doing the bare minimum for compliance, compensation, and benefits.

It is so demoralizing. Most of the work I am now doing are things I am not well trained for and don’t care about. Our department has made countless presentations explaining the need to bring back development with well researched return on investment. He basically laughs at us and openly insults our work.

My dream was to retire from this job. I am 56 years old and never anticipated I would be looking for a new job at this point in my career. I have watched our CHRO get beaten down to the point where she is just going along to get along. I just keep thinking reason will win the day, and that I have to keep fighting. What else can I do? How do I know when it is time for …

Giving Up?

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Giving Up,

It can be so hard to let go of a dream and face the truth. It sounds like your heart and soul were in the job—so, essentially, you were hooked in a good way. But now you are hooked in a bad way.

You have let the hooks get yanked on long enough. It is time to take those hooks out and walk away. I don’t think anyone would accuse you of folding at the first sign of sign of opposition. And it really wouldn’t be giving up—there is a fine line between falling apart when things get tough and facing reality.

All terrible situations—ones in which you find yourself tolerating the intolerable—come down to three choices:

1. Do nothing.
2. Do something.
3. Leave the situation.

Let’s break this down.

1. You can, as your CHRO has done, do nothing—or as little as possible, anyway. Stay where you are and do what is required as well as you can in a reasonable work week and don’t try to do everything. Wait it out until you are fired for not doing three jobs or until it is time to retire, whichever comes first. This is what is commonly referred to as “quit and stay” and people do it all the time. For me it would be a recipe for a drinking problem, but it clearly works for some.
2. You could keep fighting until your CEO is so annoyed with you that you get fired. You could also escalate your observations about the long-term cost of the lack of training and development to the organization. Of course, the board or the owners may be well aware of what is going on and may have plans to use the profit record of the last few years to re-sell the company at a much higher valuation. You will have to feel that one out.
3. Save yourself, save your sanity, save your health, and get out as fast as you can. My vote is for this one. There is so much movement out there right now, so much re-shuffling, so much hiring. Get your resume shined up, get out on your social media platforms, and work your network. Go find yourself a grand new challenge to be the capstone of what has been a great career (until recently).

I am truly, deeply sorry that this has happened to your company and to you. No one asks for these kinds of professional hijacks, government takeovers, or pandemics and wars for that matter. But they happen and all you can control is how you respond. There will be no medals for dying on this hill.

The choice is yours. I am rooting for you.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I want to be a rock star at my job. I have always been driven and ambitious—but now, a few years into a professional job after college and grad school, I find myself a bit at sea. I work in a big company and I love what I do.

Here’s the problem. My boss checks “meets expectations” on all counts at my regular performance reviews. I want to get “exceeds expectations” on all counts, but I can’t get to the bottom of what that means. I see myself as getting to VP level quickly and having a shot at C-Level, but unless I can understand what that actually takes, I can’t make a plan.

Thoughts?

Want to Be a Rock Star

__________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Want to Be a Rock Star,

What a great question this is. I have often wondered the same thing, mainly because it seems like a mystery to everyone.

Ultimately, the only person whose opinion you really need on this topic is your boss’s. So first, I suggest you interview your boss and find out what “exceeds expectations” means to them. You don’t want to go out and do a bunch of extra stuff that’s not the right stuff or that causes static in their world.

I do think the reason this is such a mystery is because most bosses don’t know what their expectations actually are, let alone what it might mean for someone to exceed them. So don’t be surprised if asking your boss doesn’t shed much light—they may not know what “exceeds expectations” looks like until they see it.

Some questions to ask your boss might be:

• Have you ever had a direct report who consistently exceeded expectations? If yes, what did they do that made them stand out?
• Is there any way I don’t live up to your expectations? Have I ever failed to live up to expectations in the past and wasn’t told?
• What exactly would it take for me to exceed expectations in these different areas?

I spent a week asking all of the senior executives I know what it means to them when a team member exceeds expectations. Here is a synthesis of what I heard:

Generally, an employee who exceeds expectations:

• Shows up to 1×1’s prepared to discuss all tasks and goals with clear requests for direction, re-direction, ideas, requests for resources. They show respect for their manager’s time by having thought in advance about what they want or need.
• Thinks things through—when they run into an obstacle, they troubleshoot and come up with ideas for possible solutions rather than just presenting the manager with a problem to solve.
• Never complains, never makes excuses—if something isn’t working or they can’t complete a task, they surface the situation matter-of-factly and share ideas about what they might need to get back on track.
• Does what they say they are going to do without being reminded.
• Meets deadlines and doesn’t procrastinate. When a big, high-stakes project is approaching deadline, they get their work done as far as they can and present it to the manager and others for input and feedback with plenty of time to iterate and make changes so the final product is next level.
• Submits work that has been proofed. They take the time to review their work for errors or inconsistencies. This doesn’t mean they never make mistakes, it means any errors they make are from lack of experience or knowledge, not from turning in sloppy work that was rushed through.
• Pays attention to what is going on around them and connects the dots in the event it isn’t obvious.
• Goes out of their way to support coworkers, spends time helping new people, volunteers for tasks that aren’t necessarily part of their job but that make a contribution to the team. For example, one person shared: “when our organization rolled out a new software system we all hated, one of my people spent time over the weekend watching tutorials on YouTube and then shared a bunch of tips, tricks, and shortcuts with the whole team at our next staff meeting. That was above and beyond. Everyone else, including me, just whined about how unintuitive the platform was. She made all of us pull up our socks and get on with it.”
• Figures out where to go to get things done. They take the time to look at the organization around them, what people’s job roles are, and what matters to them. They go out of their way to create relationships with all types of people and make the effort to understand what they do. If they don’t know how to do something, they tap their network until they find someone who does.
• This seems obvious, but they are always on time, always ready to work, always on camera, bright and shiny. It isn’t that they don’t have bad days. Everyone does. They just don’t let a bad day get in the way of getting the job done.

One person put it succinctly: “They have high attention to detail, and they get things done on time without fuss.” Anything you can do that will make your boss’s job easier is always a good idea—taking on extra projects, going the extra mile, submitting excellent work that doesn’t need extensive revisions.

Finally, keep careful track of what you do. There is always a good chance your boss will forget the times you went above and beyond. When the time comes, submit an accurate, detailed record of everything so your boss will have no choice but to give you the highest possible rating. Anytime a direct report does this, I am always a little astonished at everything they have done; especially when they are the kind of person who makes it look easy.

These ideas should get you on your way. In terms of your ambition to get to the very top, I will tell you that becoming an expert at anything you do will help. Be disciplined about never complaining or gossiping about people. Also, creating and nurturing a wide and deep network of diverse relationships will always help, never hurt.

Rock on, my dear. I have a feeling you will get where you want to go!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a veteran employee of a large, very healthy organization. I like the company and my co-workers. I’ve had plenty of advancement opportunities and I think my comp package is fair.

I have been managing people for a long time and feel that I am skilled. I am not just tooting my own horn—I get great feedback from my people and my boss is happy with my work. I would go so far as to say that I have had a fantastic career. I only have a few years left before I retire, which I look forward to—lots of grandkids to take fishing, golf, hiking, volunteer work for my local homeless shelter—and really thought I would stay here until I retire.

However, I get calls from headhunters. All the time. I get emails, voice mails, and now, somehow, they have my cell number so I have stopped picking up numbers I don’t recognize. I did have one conversation with someone who tried to convince me that I could have a shot at a senior executive position and a lot more money if I were to consider going elsewhere.

My wife thinks I am nuts not to explore the possibilities, but it feels like Pandora’s box to me. I like things the way they are. What would be the point of starting over someplace new? But then I worry that I might regret it if I don’t at least take a look at what’s being offered.

If it Ain’t Broke

________________________________________________________________________

Dear If it Ain’t Broke,

Don’t fix it.

Sorry you handed that to me on a silver platter. But seriously, don’t.

There are two questions here:

1. What is driving your wife’s agenda? Has she told you that you seem bored? Unengaged? Frustrated with your management team? Does she want you to make a lot more money? Perhaps she is bored with her own life and hopes that your making a big change will be entertaining? Does she resent, perhaps, that you don’t get enough time off to hang out with her? (Not that starting a new job will alleviate that!) The sooner you learn what is at the root of your wife’s opinion that you should turn your wonderful work life upside down, the better. There might be something to learn there.
2. If you were to stay where you are, what would you regret? Regret is yucky. Because it is wishing you could change the past, which is impossible. Do you judge yourself because you were once more ambitious? Did you once have dreams that you abandoned because of responsibilities? Would you be able to realize those dreams in a different company? Have you always wanted to be on an executive team or be the boss of everyone? If that is the case, you might want to go for it.

But what you really don’t want is to make a big leap to start over someplace else, only to find that you miss what you had. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants?

As a coach, I have a duty to help people get crystal clear about their values (what is most important to them), their needs (what they must have to fire on all cylinders), and their wants. In that order. For people to feel most fulfilled, they need first to be in an environment that feels aligned with their values, and then they must get their core psychological needs met. After that, they can use whatever time and energy they have left to get (or do) what they want. Anytime a person shakes up their environment, they must spend enormous brain power and energy stabilizing in a new system. This is why moving houses feels like a such a big deal. Moving jobs is even more of a big deal.

Moving jobs makes sense when you:

• can’t use your strengths,
• can’t change or grow,
• are crushed by political mayhem,
• hate what you are doing,
• hate the people you work with,
• are bored to tears,
• have too much responsibility without the autonomy or authority to use your own judgment, or
• have a fundamental problem with what the company does.

Moving jobs does not make sense to you for a reason; from your letter, it sounds like several reasons. Unless as you read this you get a flood of good reasons to move that you hadn’t thought of, I say enjoy the next few years where you are.

Have the conversation with your wife, though. You might uncover something she really wants that is causing her to push you. Then you can build a plan to help her get what she wants and let go of this conversation.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am senior project manager for a global construction firm. I am one of the very few women in the organization, and wouldn’t you know, my problem is with one of them. She is a peer to me, and we have very different but overlapping roles.

The fundamental problem is that she changes decisions I have made on design and materials, without consulting me, and instructs others on the project not to mention it to me. Some of these people report to me and are thoroughly confused and stressed out about who is in charge. The decisions she changes are not hers to change. Sometimes they are decent, other times not so much. She has a different skill set from me (I have degrees in structural engineering and design, she does not) and she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

I need to put the extra work in to change some of her decisions back or risk some real problems. I would be happy to get her input and consider it—she does have good ideas. I have quite literally begged her to stop doing it. She is always very cordial and agreeable, and agrees to stop, but then she does it again.

I have asked our boss to have a meeting with both of us to clarify roles/responsibilities, and he snorts and says, “You guys need to work this stuff (not the s word he uses) out.”  He has referred several times to our conflict as a “catfight.”  It is insulting.

This has been going on for years, and I have just let it roll off my back even though it drives me nuts. The workload is so intense that I figured I should keep my head down and it would work itself out. Boy, was I wrong. It has gone from bad to worse. Things came to a head recently when she changed decisions after the order for a bunch of materials had gone out. So, another order went out and now we have a surplus of materials—and I am being held accountable for the overage on costs. I explained to my boss what happened, and he doesn’t care—it is still my fault, and he is going to dock my annual bonus. I am a single mom and I was depending on that money to pay college tuition.

I see my nemesis and my boss together all the time. They both work at HQ and I am remote on the other side of the country. I don’t know how she has done it, but she has gotten chummy with the old boys’ club that runs the whole company, and she has cowed my entire team into acting like she is my boss. I do suspect that she and my boss are having an affair (they are both married to other people and there is an express rule in the company that people who work together cannot be in relationships). Of course, I have no proof of this. I have complained to HR, but the solution was to get me a coach to help me work on my communication skills. My communication skills have never been an issue in my 25-year career. But it has been useful to use the coaching sessions to vent and find some tactical work-arounds.

 I am at the end of my rope with this situation. Something has to give. I am having revenge fantasies, I am not sleeping, and I am just a total stress case. I would appreciate your thoughts.

Steamrolled

____________________________________________________________________________

Dear Steamrolled,

Well, this sounds awful. I am sorry for your terrible stress. It sounds like somehow your nemesis (let’s call her N) has bonded with people in power and is hell bent on edging you out. I think you might have had a chance to nip this in the bud back at the beginning, but once someone who values power over everything else has gotten the sense that they can get away with whatever they want, it is hard to roll it back. That doesn’t help you right now because you can’t change the past. But it might help you in the future to never again allow anyone to get away with this kind of nonsense.

Based on the facts as you laid them out, I think you have three choices in front of you.

1. Fight like hell. Sue for the creation of a hostile work environment. Speak to an attorney and find out what your rights might be, especially since you work in a different state from where HQ is. It wouldn’t surprise me if your company has a provision for complaints that says that forced arbitration in their home state is the automatic first recourse. So, find your employment contract, read it carefully, and make sure you are aware of the laws in the home state. I just attended our company’s mandatory training about the federal and state laws around harassment and it is clear to me that your boss and your HR person have allowed a hostile work environment. Having your bonus docked because of the actions of another person who didn’t consult with you is grounds alone. That is a critical error on your boss’s part. When compensation is affected, the issue becomes much more real and tangible.

I hope you have been documenting incidents, but if not, go back and re-create anything you can and start documenting everything now.

It is also worth noting that if the company is paying your coach, your coach is obligated to escalate to their HR contact your observations about your boss’s abdication of responsibility and the total lack of procedural fairness regarding your bonus. Many coaches are unaware that they are not protected by client/professional privilege, and your coach is putting themself at risk. The fact that neither the coach nor the HR contact has taken any steps to help you is a factor in your favor, because it sounds like the people in the organization who are tasked with maintaining a fair workplace have also abdicated. That is not unusual.

One caveat on this: Be aware that if there were an investigation, even your own team might not tell the truth because it would put their jobs at risk.

This choice will be exhausting and expensive, but there is a good chance your company would settle to make the whole thing go away. Companies who are still operating with an old boys’ club mentality tend to do that—it is amazing how many lawsuits companies manage to absorb to avoid changing their culture. It is a long shot, but a settlement would certainly help with college tuition.

2. Get out as quickly as you can. Contact some high-quality executive search firms and get yourself another job. Companies are desperate for highly skilled talent, and I can’t believe you wouldn’t find something great for yourself. It would be admitting defeat, which takes a lot of grace. It would probably not be satisfying to someone having revenge fantasies, but it is the most adult thing to do. It’s also the most expedient thing to do because it sounds like N has gained control of the narrative here and has the relationships.

You could do a combination of #1 and #2—get another job and then sue. It really all depends on how much energy you have to devote to revenge. I say move on and find a way to let it all go, because as has been noted by many (attribution is varied), “harboring resentment is like taking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”

3. Just roll with it. Okay, this really isn’t a choice, but plenty of people do it. It is actually a recipe for a serious health problem. The toxic combination of responsibility without authority famously contributes to cardiac events, metabolic disturbances (like diabetes), and degraded immune systems. So as stressful as the other two options may seem, this is the one that could kill you.

You might wonder why I am not suggesting that you try again to get your boss and N to work with you to hash this out. Normally, this is what I would advise. The reason I don’t now is because you already seem to have tried everything. You might take one more crack at having a conversation—using some of the techniques laid out in this past post. You could ask your HR contact to set up mediation with a professional mediator, and demand that she be present at the meetings. But it sounds like your HR contact is asleep at the wheel or just straight up incompetent. It really does appear that you are on your own, my friend.

So, seriously?  Get out. Now. With your skills and experience you will get snapped up immediately. Get out there and get yourself another job. You won’t regret it. Your confidence has been shaken but you can get it back. Just let N win and save your sanity.

Is it fair? No.

Is it right? No.

It is just another day stewing in the human condition.

Remember that N has to wake up every day with herself—a power obsessed, lying cheater. She is sowing the seeds of her own destiny, which won’t go well in the long run.

Make 2022 the year you save your own life. You will be so happy you did.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have a great job that I love, with a terrific company. I kind of stumbled into it and felt really lucky to find a job that suits me, with people I respect and like.

I recently had a performance review and my boss made it clear to me that the sky is the limit for me in the company, including a shot at executive leadership in the long term. The thing is, I’ve never given any thought to moving up. I’ve just had my head down trying to do a good job without really considering what might be next. I’ve never seen myself as someone who might even manage people, let alone whole sections of the business.

This apparent lack of ambition might have something to do with the fact that I am an athlete and spend all of my free time training for ultra-marathons and triathlons. I don’t know if I can really do both—rise through the ranks at work and continue to compete as an athlete.

I have made a list of pros and cons (which my Dad recommended) and scoured the internet for help, but I am none the wiser. I’m not at all sure about what I want.

What are your thoughts on this?

Uncertain

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Uncertain,

How delightful to field a good problem! Because it is good; I am sure you know that. But that doesn’t mean it is easy or simple. This sudden vision of possibility will trigger some research and some deep introspection. The great news is that you have time on your side.

The traditional pros and cons list is useful to gain clarity on binary decisions—go/no go, do this or do that—where you have a lot of information. But this decision is not binary, it is extremely complex; and you don’t have nearly enough information. You need to learn not only about what is possible for you but also about who you are and what is important to you.

First: Gather information about what is possible for you.

How to do that? Start by collecting intel about what it might look and feel like to be a senior executive. The most expedient way to do this would be to identify senior people in your organization and ask for an informational meeting. It doesn’t have to take long. Most leaders are happy to be tapped for advice, and most people love to talk about themselves.

To help you shape an idea about what a day in the life is like for a senior executive in your company, try asking questions such as:

• What are your values? Over the years, what has been most important to you?
• Have you been able to stay aligned with your own values as you have risen through the ranks?
• What are your most and least favorite parts of your job?
• What has been most surprising to you about moving into executive leadership?
• How do you spend the bulk of your time?
• What does life/work balance look like to you?
• Have you been able to enjoy other things in your life outside of work?
• Where do you feel you have had to compromise?
• Do you have any regrets?
• What advice do you have for me?

Of course you are not the people you will be interviewing. That’s why it is so important to understand each person’s values. The more people you interview, the broader a picture you will be able to paint for yourself.

Second: Gather information about who you really are and what matters most to you.

It sounds like you are on the younger side, and God knows we are all a work in progress no matter what stage we are in. So whatever you identify right now will only be a start—but it will help you build and refine the answers over time.

I found a great model in one of my all-time favorite go-to books, aptly named The Decision Book: 50 Models for Strategic Thinking by Krogerus and Tschappeler. I cannot recommend it highly enough because it is simply an overview of a bunch of terrific models to shape our thinking around:

• How to understand yourself better
• How to improve yourself
• How to understand others better
• How to improve others

It contains almost all of the models I use with clients again and again.

Your first stop, I believe, will be the Crossroads Model, which comes from a consulting firm called The Grove. Here are the questions it proposes you answer:

• Where have you come from?
  • How have you become who you are?
  • What have been: main decisions, events, obstacles in your life; who are your influences?
  • Think about: your education, your home, where you grew up.
  • What are key words that strike you as important?
• What is really important to you?
  • Write down the first 3 things that come into your head.
  • What are your values?
  • What do you believe in?
  • Which principles are important to you?
  • When everything else fails, what remains?
• Which people are important to you?
  • Whose opinions do you value?
  • Who has influenced your decisions, who has affected your decisions?
  • Who do you like, who do you fear?
• What is hindering you?
  • What in your life prevents you from thinking about the important things?
  • Which deadlines are in your head and what prevents you from making them?
  • What do you have to do, and when?
• What are you afraid of?
  • List the things, circumstances, or people that cause you to worry and rob you of your strength.
  • What things, circumstances, or people make you worry?

Now look at your notes. What is on your list and what is missing? What is your story?

Study the roads that lie ahead of you. There are 6 examples. Imagine each one.

1. The road that beckons: what have you always wanted to try?
2. The road you imagine in your wildest dreams, regardless of whether it is achievable or not: what do you dream of?
3. The road that seems most sensible to you—the one that people whose opinion you value would suggest to you.
4. The road not traveled: the one you have never considered before.
5. The road you have already been down.
6. The road back, to a place you once felt safe.

You have your work cut for you, Uncertain. I am absolutely convinced that if you get a start on these two ideas, you will have a lot more certainty—not soon, but soon enough. You don’t need to rush. Make your plan, get going on it, take your time, and stay relaxed. Don’t listen to anyone who claims to know what your path should be. Do your due diligence and listen to your own inner voice, and you will know enough to at least take the next step.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

For years, Victoria Labalme thought she couldn’t succeed without a clear plan. She made choices along the way that were not typical but felt right to her. Even when she felt like she was falling behind, she kept pursuing what interested her. One day, out of nowhere, she received a call that changed the course of her life. Looking back, she realized that the times she had started a project, trip, or dream without having a plan or an expected outcome were the times she had the best results—because she had kept moving forward, not knowing where things would lead. Those times led to her ultimate success.

In her new book, Risk Forward: Embrace the Unknown and Unlock your Hidden Genius, Labalme shares strategies that will help you, too, move through uncertainty and achieve success you wouldn’t have thought possible.

Labalme presents these strategies, developed through 25 years of performance coaching, in a unique, easy to read format. She encourages you to use Risk Forward as a guidebook and focus on whatever thought-provoking activities stimulate you to action. It isn’t a book that needs to be read from front to back. You can open it to any page and be enticed with an exercise to challenge your thinking and help you identify possibilities you otherwise might not have considered.

Labalme shares the most important question you must ask yourself to identify what really matters. She also offers four insights to help you find your way and three questions to ask when you need advice.  With chapter titles like Embrace the Fog, Begin from Within, and Honor Your Instincts, this book will have you looking at opportunities with a brand new mindset.

Risk Forward is filled with real-life stories along with practical tips and tools to help you put your talents to work and chart your own path to success. If you’re ready to do the work, this book is for you. To quote the author: “Some people in life know exactly what they want to achieve. This is a book for the rest of us.”

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Victoria Labalme, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. 

For more information about Victoria Labalme, go to www.riskforward.com/book or www.victorialabalme.com

It’s hard to believe it’s been more than a year since the world was blindsided by a global pandemic. Millions of people are mourning losses due to COVID-19: family members, friends, and colleagues who have died; businesses and jobs that have been lost; savings accounts that have been depleted. Almost everyone has experienced some form of loss, whether it’s canceled weddings, graduations, and family events, or not being able to visit relatives—or even hug friends.

Acknowledging the worst parts of the past year is difficult and necessary. But it’s also important to see the upside of how things have changed from the way they were a year ago.

The Marvels of Video Conferencing

The past year was a turning point in the way much of the world does business. We had no choice at first—businesses were shut down, people were quarantined at home, and nobody was flying, so we needed to get more familiar with meeting online. The technology was already there; we only had to jump on and ride!

I love being able to sit down and get on a Zoom call today instead of packing a suitcase and getting on a plane. Walking downstairs is a great way to commute! I can talk with hundreds of people at once without leaving my chair. I’m available to drop in on training sessions to chat with participants whenever I’m asked. If a salesperson has a client who might want to meet me, I can sit in on a meeting with the CEO or the whole leadership team. Last week I was in a meeting with a salesperson in England and a client in Ireland. The next day I was on with one person in Italy and one in South Africa! I can spread myself around so much more efficiently now, which helps our sales team, serves our clients and our learners, and doesn’t require me to travel beyond my home office. That’s a win-win-win.

Because so many of the folks in our company work remotely now, our teams can meet more often because it’s much easier to get everyone together virtually. I’m seeing and getting to know people who work with us that I’ve never had a chance to meet—and they are getting to know each other better, too.

Of course, moderation is in order even with this miraculous technology. As the months have gone by, we’ve been hearing more about “Zoom fatigue,” where people get burned out by back-to-back video meetings. I like the solution of scheduling meetings for 45 minutes, not 60, so you aren’t logging into one meeting right after another. If you combine this approach with microbreaks, it could go a long way toward combating Zoom fatigue.

Even if it’s not yet a perfect science, video conferencing seems to be the best way to go for many organizations right now—and I’m not sure that will change anytime soon.

The Virtual One Minute Manager

The same technology that enables you to meet with clients and teams can be used to manage your direct reports. This is especially helpful if you’re not in an office and able to practice “Management By Wandering Around”—a technique originated by the Hewlett-Packard Company in the 1970s. When Spencer Johnson and I wrote The One Minute Manager^®in 1981, we made the practice one of our title character’s management habits, although we never used the phrase. In our original book, the One Minute Manager “never seemed to be very far away” from his people, so he could observe their behavior face to face and catch them doing things right. In 2015 when we wrote the updated edition titled The New One Minute Manager^®, we acknowledged the fact that managers were no longer always in the same place as their people. And since the advent of COVID-19, of course, remote workers are far more common.

So, what’s the virtual equivalent of Management By Wandering Around? As a manager, make sure you set One Minute Goals with your direct report so you’re both clear on expectations. Stay informed on data and performance relating to those goals, and regularly schedule virtual one-on-one meetings with them. When your direct report does something right, call the person or schedule a quick Zoom meeting to give a One Minute Praising. If you notice them moving in the wrong direction, use the same method to contact the person and help them get back on track with a One Minute Re-Direct.

The Upside of COVID-19 on Home Life

At the time I am writing this, the United States and many other countries are moving quickly toward vaccinating people as soon as possible. My wife, Margie, and I feel relieved that we have had both of our vaccinations. We are eagerly looking forward to the day when we can once again open our offices to our colleagues, have friends and family visit us at our house, and do what I miss the most—hug people. Like most others, we have had to give up some enjoyable parts of our lives to stay safe. Yet we’ve been appreciating the simple pleasures around us. Here are some examples:

Bonding with pets. Margie and I have noticed over the years that our little dog, Joy, has always seemed happiest when we’ve taken time off from traveling. She just loves it when we are home with her. You may guess that Joy has been ecstatic for more than a year now. She is also a big clown and can always cheer us up when we start feeling down. If you are a dog lover, you know how therapeutic dogs can be. Last year when people realized quarantine was going to go on for a while, there was a surge of adoptions at shelters all over the country. So many people were adopting pets that a lot of shelters ran out—I remember the news reports showing all the empty cages. It was a beautiful sight.

Watching movies. We’ve been having a lot of fun watching old movies—some favorites we had already seen several times and some new ones recommended by friends. It’s an enjoyable way to spend time together, whether the movies are good or bad.

Enjoying socially distant, outdoor gatherings. Last summer our neighborhood held a socially distant “block party.” We all brought our own chairs, food, and drinks. We wore masks, sat at least six feet apart, and had interesting conversations. Even at a distance and with masks on it was wonderful to see our neighbors and even meet a few new folks. We are looking forward to doing it again now that spring is here.

Appreciating the great outdoors.  Margie and I have been getting outdoors more often—walking with our dog, Joy, or golfing almost every week at our local Par 3 course. Anything that can get you out of the house and into the fresh air is a good thing. Going for a walk is good mental and physical therapy and it doesn’t cost a thing.

Practicing Kindness and Gratitude

The pandemic isn’t over, and we’ll all need patience until it is. One way to cope is to focus on the good that’s come out of this challenging year—not an easy task. As author and philosopher Eric Hoffer wrote: “The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.”

Meanwhile, let’s be kind to everyone we encounter. We don’t know what they may have gone through in the past year—or what they may be going through now. Let’s keep sending out thoughts and prayers to people we love and continue reaching out to help others who have suffered great losses or illness and are still hurting. And let’s not forget to be grateful for the blessings in our lives.

Have you ever thought about how elite performers achieve their level of accomplishment? Steven Kotler has—and in his latest book, The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer, he shares what he has learned from decades of research into the exploration of human possibility.

Kotler believes everyone is capable of achieving the extraordinary, and he shares how to do just that in this inspirational book. He defines impossible in two ways. Capital I Impossible stands for paradigm-shifting breakthroughs, such as breaking the four-minute mile, moonshots, and the more recent Mars landing. Lowercase i impossible stands for the limitations we place on ourselves, such as thinking we can’t get that dream job, can’t change a living situation, or can’t overcome a challenge.

The fascinating truth is that both capital I and lowercase i impossibilities are quite possible to achieve by following the blueprint described in Kotler’s book. Devoting our time and efforts to achieving the lowercase i impossibilities can sometimes lead to accomplishing the capital I Impossibilities.

Kotler covers in detail the four skills that guide performance. He explains that motivation is the skill that gets us into the game, learning is what helps us continue to play; creativity is how we steer; and flow is how we turbo-boost the results beyond all rational standards and reasonable expectations. The Art of Impossible is filled with tips, techniques, tactics, and strategies along with a framework for tying everything together. Kotler even provides a checklist for daily and weekly activities.

So if you are committed to improving your performance, Kotler provides the playbook to guide your efforts. All you need to do is to follow his instructions and be ready and willing to do the work!

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Steven Kotler, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. 

For more information about Steven Kotler, go to www.stevenkotler.com, or www.flowresearchcollective.com.

It’s a timeless truth that bears repeating: Good leadership starts with a vision. Why? Because leadership is about going somewhere. If you don’t know where you’re going, your leadership doesn’t matter. Great leaders understand this and mobilize others by coalescing them around a shared vision.

A compelling vision will help you and your team get focused, stay energized, and achieve results. Your vision will also keep everyone going during times of adversity.

Can a Team or Department Create a Vision When a Company Doesn’t Have One?

Yes! Vision can start anywhere. You don’t have to wait for the rest of the organization.

Creating Your Team Vision

There are three aspects to a compelling vision: your purpose, your picture of the future, and your values. If you are a team leader, help your team create a team vision by working together to define and establish these three elements.

Purpose.  To begin, start by asking, “What is our team’s reason for existence?” Your team’s purpose will answer this question.

When writing your team’s purpose, don’t simply describe your roles and activities. For example, if you’re in the automobile business, don’t say, “Our team exists to sell cars.” That purpose is hardly inspiring. Take a cue from Tesla, whose purpose isn’t simply to sell cars; it’s “to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.” Notice how those words inspire excitement and commitment? An inspiring purpose makes work meaningful and fun. It also helps everyone stay the course when things get tough.

Picture of the Future. What is your team’s picture of the future? What do you want to be true in the future that is not true today? Picture the end result of your efforts.

Your team’s picture of the future should be something you can actually see when you close your eyes. Don’t define your picture of the future in vague terms, such as “being great.” Use precise words that bring an image to mind. Walt Disney’s picture of the future for his theme parks was to “keep the same smile on people’s faces when they leave the park as when they enter.”

As you and your team work together on your picture of the future, keep it positive. Focus on what you want to create, not what you want to get rid of.

Finally, don’t get bogged down in describing the process for getting to your envisioned future. Just focus on a visual image of the end result.

Values. Values are deeply held beliefs that certain qualities are desirable. They define what is right or fundamentally important to your team. They provide guidelines for decisions and actions.

What will be the core values by which your team operates? Here is a small sampling of some values you might consider: integrity, knowledge/expertise, accountability, success, relationships, kindness, humor, creativity, innovation, dependability, service to others. There are countless others.

To determine your team’s values, answer the question, “How will we behave on a day-to-day basis?” Then describe the behaviors that demonstrate what that value looks like when it is being lived.

Be careful not to select too many values. Zero in on a maximum of six. Also, your values must be rank ordered to be effective. Why? Because life is about value conflicts. When conflicts arise, people need to know which value gets the highest priority.

Once your team has agreed on the shared values, it’s up to you as the team leader to model these values in your behavior and to encourage the other team members to do the same.

A Worthwhile Investment

Teams with a shared vision work in harmony and generate positive energy that creates extraordinary results.  These are the teams that others notice, admire, and emulate. If your team is working without a vision, take the time to create one. It’s an investment you won’t regret.

Editor’s Note: For a deeper discussion of vision and how it can focus and energize your team, read Full Steam Ahead: Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Work and Your Life by Ken Blanchard and Jesse Stoner.

Dear Madeleine,

I have been reflecting on 2020 and have just read the document with my goals for the year. I may laugh someday, but right now I am sad and demoralized. I accomplished literally not one single goal I had set for myself in 2020.

I wanted to lose some weight and get in shape. Nope. I joined a gym around the time of the shutdown and was so gung-ho that I paid for the whole year up front. Who knows what happened to that money?

A couple of my goals required money, which I am making a lot less of now than I was a year ago.

I had some developmental activity goals for my kids, but now I am just glad they are still alive after being quarantined at home, with me trying to work and them doing online school.

My partner and I had big plans for a romantic vacation—that’s off the table now.

I am thinking of just letting myself off the hook for 2021. Do you think that is a bad idea? Or is it smart? I really feel like just…

Giving In             

__________________________________________________________

Dear Giving In,

I found my goals, too! But I did laugh, because I am in pretty much the same boat as you and I have already cried a lot.

So here’s the thing, Giving In. Think about all the stuff you did accomplish that you hadn’t planned on achieving at all: You still have a job! You haven’t hurt your children! You and your partner are still together! These are all massive wins, my friend. If you had seen what was coming and your only goal had been to survive it, you would be feeling pretty great about your goal setting right now. So I think you must let yourself off the hook for 2020—you and the rest of the world.

Now, what about 2021? I say don’t give in, because here is what we know about goals: under normal circumstances people who set goals and write them down simply achieve more than those who don’t.

But the wisdom of good goal setting also tells us that our goals have to be realistic. I’ve always seen good results—for myself, my teams, and my clients—when goals are a bit of a stretch, but not ridiculous. We never really know what the future will bring, so you can only set goals with your current reality in mind. Ask yourself: what does my heart long for that I could take some steps toward right now? Find something you can actually do with just a little focus and the support of your partner, friends, colleagues, and kids. Maybe it’s a fitness routine you can do at home. I got through this year using Aaptive, an app that offers all kinds of workouts for folks at all levels. Maybe it’s walking around the block three times every day. Or maybe there’s something you could do with your kids at the end of online school every day. Given that nothing will be all that different for a while yet, setting an achievable goal will undoubtedly make you feel more optimistic and hopeful.

I would recommend this, however: Set one goal. Only one—but one you can crush. Leave the long list for another time. Or never. The biggest reason people don’t achieve their goals is that they have too many of them. There isn’t much research to support that assertion, but I am 100% convinced it is true based on my experience. Let’s tell the truth about what it takes to just get through the day, adulting and behaving yourself, paying the bills on time, showing up for work and speaking in complete sentences, and making sure dinner will happen somehow (cereal counts). Then let’s throw a pandemic on top of it and all bets are off.

You will probably need to mourn the dreams you had for 2020. It’s okay to be sad. But making some headway on a new dream, a dream that makes sense in light of our current reality, will give you a sense of control, autonomy, and mastery that will set you up to be ready when the world shifts back toward what we once thought of as normal. And history does teach us that it will shift.

So make a list of what you accomplished that you hadn’t planned to. I’ll bet it is really long, and something to be proud of. Be as sad as you need to be for the losses of 2020. And then get moving toward something you really care about that has deep meaning for you. Enlist help from anyone who can help you. It will make you feel better, I promise.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Today’s blog covers the promised Part Two from last week’s blog post. If you missed it and want to see the whole letter and the context, click here.

Here’s the part of the letter, signed Paralyzed, that I am addressing today:

“I asked my manager to tell me what she thought the most critical thing was for me to focus on and she told me she thinks I have trouble making decisions. She is right. I have friends who tell me I am wishy-washy. My partner agrees. I agree. I am a data geek and I like to be able to look at things from all sides before making decisions. The problem is that this approach doesn’t work when time is tight—which is always.”

Dear Paralyzed (Part Two),

There is a vast and constantly growing body of research and scholarship on the art and science of decision making. Entire classes and books are devoted to it. I’ve tried to boil it all down, but you can be 100% certain that I have left something out. My aim is not to review every possibility but to offer useful advice, tailored to where you are in your development (early career, high potential, being considered for promotion).

Here are some thoughts:

It is a personality trait—and you are getting a core need met: Folks with a very specific personality type are more attached to accuracy than the rest of us. As a self-described “data geek,” you may fit this profile—which means you may have a need to be right. The more complex the decision and the less clear the alternatives, the more your need to be right will hamstring you.

If you think this might be the case, you will have to get that need met in other ways and detach it from decisions that have to be made quickly. You must literally practice moving ahead even though you might be not quite right, or even wrong. How on earth to do this?

Try making some low-risk decisions without enough data, to build your tolerance. Get used to the discomfort. It will never go away because the decisions only get bigger with the jobs. Here is the silver lining: although you are aware of the drawbacks of being a poor decision maker, the opposite problem—making decisions without sufficient thought or information—can cause just as much damage, although it often is seen as a strength and corrected way too late.

It’s a habit: Consider that your wishy-washiness is less a character trait and more of a habit. Habits are notoriously hard to break, but even good habits can outlive their usefulness. Try to notice when you are defaulting to habitual waffling and choose another tactic. When the risk is low, just roll with your first gut response and see how it goes. If you think this might be your problem, learn more about habits and how to break them, from Charles Duhigg, here.

You don’t have a system to make good decisions: Oh dear, where to start? There is so much interesting stuff on this topic, and boy, did I go down the rabbit hole. To save myself (and you) from going completely off the rails with this, I went to one of my all-time favorite resources: The Owner’s Manual for the Brain by Pierce J. Howard. I hate to recommend 1000-page books, but, since you are a geek, it might be your cup of tea. I was introduced to it by one of our company’s resident geniuses, VP of Applied Learning Dr. Vicki Halsey—and as a social neuroscience devotee it is a go-to resource for me. Chapter 26, “Creating Leverage: Brain-Based Decision Making” is worth the price of the book (and the weight) all on its own. In his Concern Analysis Flowchart (Fig. 26.3, pg. 704), Dr. Howard recommends a few methods to get you started:

• Mind Mapping: I am a huge fan of this technique because my thinking style is so wildly random that it Is almost impossible for me to think anything through using linear reasoning. Using a mind map helps you get all relevant thoughts on a piece of paper at once and then put them in order. This way, you can tease out the most important details and the relative importance of everything else. It also helps you make connections you otherwise might not have seen.
• Pareto Analysis: The Pareto Principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) is the idea that by doing 20% of the work you can generate 80% of the benefit of doing the entire job. Using it to analyze your items when making a decision might help you quickly discard the less relevant items. The mindtools website has massive amounts of material on decision making, among other useful topics, that you can data-geek out on at your leisure.
• Fishbone Analysis: This method originated with the Total Quality Management method. It is also known as the cause-and-effect diagram or the Ishikawa method. This tool helps organize your thinking around the root cause of a problem.

You simply struggle with self-doubt: Don’t we all? Okay, some people don’t, I guess, but I haven’t met them. The more practice you get at making decisions, the better you will get at it. Success will breed success. A couple of actions you can take right now to decrease your doubt are:

• Know what you know and what you don’t. Consider literally reviewing what you know—about your departmental activities, your entire organization, your industry—on a regular basis. In reviewing, you might uncover some gaps you need to fill the whole picture. The more you stay on top of what is going on around you, the more prepared you will be to pull your thoughts together quickly.
• Build your expert posse. You can’t possibly know everything all the time, but you can know who to go to for what. Identify the people around you who are as geeky as you and who have a depth of knowledge on topics that aren’t your specialty. Build relationships with each of them, enough to ensure that they will answer your text in a hurry when you need them. Offer your own expertise when they need it. As we say at Blanchard, “None of us is as smart as all of us.”
• Know your waterline. It is easy to get paralyzed by the fear of risk when you aren’t entirely sure what the consequences will be. So you need to know exactly where your decision-making authority reaches its limits. You need to know the tolerable mistakes you can make on your own, compared with those you have to escalate because they could sink the ship. In other words, you must know where the waterline is and which decisions could affect the soundness of the whole boat.

I learned this concept from my husband, Scott. He was blown away by it when he worked with W.L. Gore & Associates, where it is one of their company values. They define it this way: “We are all shareholders, and we will consult with the appropriate Associates before taking an action ‘below the waterline’ that could cause serious damage to the long-term success or reputation of our Enterprise.”

Sit down with your manager and establish where your waterline is—which consequences are acceptable, if imperfect, and which consequences will cause big problems. This concept will serve you well when you start managing people.

The wishy-washiness part is fun for you: I have a dear friend who agonizes over the menu when we go out to dinner together. It is maddening. She is a wildly successful professional who, though thoughtful and deliberate with big decisions, does not, thank God, belabor them. But her menu scrutiny would delay our order and, thus, my dinner. She finally noticed my annoyance and called me out on it. We discussed it and uncovered that, as a true foodie, she enjoyed the process of examining every item on the menu and discussing its possible merits, while I was simply hungry. We devised a solution: I would quickly order an appetizer when we sat down so that I could manage my blood sugar. She, then, would be able to take her time savoring her options. My point? You have to recognize when you can indulge your desire to go deep and savor the moment, and you can’t.  Do it when you can, enjoy it.  Cut to the chase when you have a tight timeline.

I know, Paralyzed. This post was too long. I hope I haven’t made you sorry you asked. I had an awful lot of fun coming up with your answer, though, so for that I thank you. Remember: you are going to be just fine. Einstein (no dummy) said “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” And Winston Churchill said “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

So geek on out with these ideas, and then go forth and be decisive. You will absolutely make some mistakes. It is the only way for you to grow and become more valuable to your organization. You will get smarter and braver, and be well on the way to fulfilling your very high potential.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Trying to land your first job or find your dream job? #ENTRYLEVELBOSS—part memoir, part playbook—lays out an easy-to-follow plan that will get you on the right path quickly. Based on her personal experience, Alexa Shoen has developed a nine-step process for approaching your job search that will set you apart from all others.

Shoen begins by identifying 14 incorrect beliefs about how employment works, then challenges you to reconsider your assumptions. The world is changing rapidly—and traditional techniques for job hunting just don’t work anymore. Shoen provides the information you need to create a new mindset about finding a job. She then explains her proven methodology with step-by-step instructions, task lists, and examples that worked in real life—her life.

Before you start the job search process, you must answer these three questions:

1. What kind of role do you want?
2. Where are you physically going to get hired?
3. Which industry do you want to work in?

Sounds like common sense, right? But we all know that common sense isn’t commonly practiced. Shoen warns that if you don’t start with the answers to these questions as the foundation for your effort, you will easily be sidetracked, distracted, and tempted into the old trap of blanketing the market with your resume and hoping for the best. That isn’t a strategy—it’s a waste of time.

This book is a fun read, and it delivers a carefully considered system to follow. If you use it, you’ll feel like you have a coach by your side throughout the process!

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Alexa Shoen, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Alexa Shoen, go to www.entrylevelboss.com.

The quest for high performance may be at an all-time high. With the COVID-19 pandemic turning things upside down, some people are struggling to get through the day—but others continue to thrive. How do they do it?

Brendon Burchard’s best-selling book High Performance Habits offers many answers to that question. Through extensive original research and learnings from more than ten years of being the world’s leading performance coach, Burchard has identified the six most important habits for improving performance at home, at work, and in your community.

The habits Burchard encourages everyone to build include:

1. Seek clarity. Have a clear vision, consistently set intentions for who you want to be each day, and focus on what is meaningful.
2. Generate energy. Learn to release tension while setting intention. Bring joy to your daily activities and stay physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
3. Raise necessity. Understand what you need to do for yourself and others to remain motivated. Build a network of peers who will support you.
4. Increase productivity. Determine the outputs that matter most to your success. Develop the skills that will help you perform at a higher level.
5. Developing influence. Ask others to challenge themselves to perform differently. Be a role model for that behavior.
6. Demonstrate courage. Learn and grow from your struggles, share your truth, and fight a noble cause for others.

Burchard describes specific practices you can begin immediately for each habit. He stresses that although these practices may be common sense, they are not commonly practiced—so it is critical to make a commitment to using these tips and techniques to start your journey to long-term success and fulfillment. He suggests people focus on one practice at a time to recognize how significant each change can be.

Each chapter is filled with thought-provoking exercises to help you integrate the six habits into your routine, and encouragement to focus on the things that will make a big difference right away. Putting it simply, this is a guidebook for people who want to get control of their lives and experience true joy. The real-life examples of people who have overcome struggles by using the practices are evidence of how powerful this work can be. They offer proof that you, too, will be able to positively impact every aspect of your life.

Burchard shares a beautiful mixture of science-backed data and heart-centered strategies to help others live a better quality life. After applying just a few of his suggestions, you’ll notice a difference—and understand how extraordinary people become that way.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Brendon Burchard, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Brendon Burchard, go to www.brendon.com.

Ken Blanchard says it is difficult for leaders to plan for the future while they are also managing the day-to-day. For that reason, he suggests organizations have two groups of leaders: one that focuses on the present and a second that looks toward the future. In their new book Lead from the Future, Mark W. Johnson and Josh Suskewicz recognize this same challenge and provide a playbook to help leaders envision the breakthrough opportunities that will drive long-term growth.

We often look at visionaries like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos as having extraordinary talents that can’t be duplicated. But Johnson and Suskewicz believe developing and deploying an inspiring and actionable vision of the future is a skill that can be learned. Many leaders use present-forward thinking, which focuses on extending the life of their existing business by way of continuous improvements. But Lead from the Future illustrates the idea of future-back thinking—a method of achieving breakthrough growth through anticipating and shaping the market of the future. Rather than approach business with a mindset of describing what is and how to sustain it, the authors ask readers to think about what could be and then transform processes and systems to support that vision.

Johnson and Suskewicz’s research indicates that 75 percent of organizations base their strategic plan no more than five years into the future. Organizations that extend their five-year plan to ten years, however, give themselves a competitive advantage. Planning for three to five years keeps a company in the same competitive market, while planning ten years into the future creates a new market where that company can be the leader that others want to emulate.

Future-back thinking consists of three major phases.

• In phase one, leaders develop a vision. This includes exploring what the future is likely to hold, understanding what customer needs will be, identifying threats and opportunities, and creating a point of view to serve that future.
• Phase two is where leaders translate the vision into a clear strategy by walking back in stages to create initiatives that need to be in place to achieve the vision, including explicit benchmarks and goals.
• In phase three, leaders implement the strategy. The authors emphasize the importance of creating new structures, processes, and norms to drive the new initiative rather than trying to roll out a significant change using conventional methods.

Ultimately, leaders who embrace future-back thinking must be able to deal with ambiguity while giving themselves time to explore, envision, and discover. According to the authors, they need to be “comfortable being uncomfortable.” And when these leaders develop a narrative that supports the company’s future, the passion and opportunity that now lie dormant will be unleashed throughout the organization.

An easy-to-read and engaging book, Lead from the Future is filled with examples of leaders who have successfully practiced the future-back thinking method.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Mark Johnson, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information on Mark W. Johnson and Josh Suskewicz, visit www.innosight.com.

In this age of fast-moving markets, fickle consumers, and unprecedented risks, we need leaders who think and act like entrepreneurs. In his latest book, Entrepreneurial Leadership: The Art of Launching New Ventures, Inspiring Others, and Running Stuff, Joel Peterson explains the important difference between an entrepreneur and an entrepreneurial leader: Entrepreneurs can launch new ventures but can’t necessarily run them at scale. Entrepreneurial leaders act nimbly to launch new initiatives, inspire others, and champion innovative approaches.

We’ve witnessed the extreme success of entrepreneurial leaders like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates. The days of leaders who focus on keeping results consistent with past performance and balancing a budget are over. Peterson introduces a new set of skills that aspiring entrepreneurial leaders need to develop.

In the book’s introduction, Peterson describes a painful personal memory of the night his wife temporarily went missing on a mountain hike. He then uses the metaphor of mountain climbing to present a series of maps organized around four skills needed to navigate the path to the summit of entrepreneurial leadership.

1. Build Trust: Trust is “base camp” for any leader, but is especially important for the entrepreneurial leader. They must determine and live by their core values in order to behave predictably, which is a requisite for building trust. Being transparent, respectful, and consistently delivering on promises builds a personal brand that creates a trusting work environment.
2. Create a Mission: Creating and sharing a clear mission is similar to providing a map to the summit. It gives meaning, clarity, and priority to a collective set of actions. A team without a mission lacks focus and direction and will most likely fail. A team that is aligned on a mission understands exactly where it is going and what it will take to get there. The mission serves as the inspiration for the endeavor by clarifying specific goals so that everyone is aligned.
3. Secure a Team: Leadership is a team sport—and nothing is more important than ensuring the right people are in the right positions. Entrepreneurial leaders know how to recruit, onboard, coach, assign, and reassign—or when necessary, remove—people on the team. They hire people who share the same values and work ethic, then empower them to perform at their highest levels.
4. Deliver Results: With a foundation of trust, an inspiring mission, and a team in place, it is time to deliver results. Entrepreneurial leaders establish standards for decision making, negotiating, and communicating while they meet the challenges of driving change, overcoming adversity, and more. Peterson presents a series of maps to help leaders be prepared to meet challenges and juggle the competing claims of customers, shareholders, and team members.

Entrepreneurial Leadership is filled with compelling stories that support the valuable information provided in Peterson’s maps. In many ways, the book is a how-to guide that will help you make a quantum leap in your own success. If you want to effectively lead others and help them achieve their best, launch new initiatives, drive innovation, or create a legacy, this book will inspire you to start your journey.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Joel Peterson, listen to the LeaderChat Podcast and subscribe today. Order Entrepreneurial Leadership on Amazon.com.

For more information on Joel Peterson, go to www.joelcpeterson.com.

Dear Madeleine,

I work as a marketing director at a medium-sized firm and I’m a longtime reader of your column. My company reacted quickly to the warnings about COVID-19 and sent all of us home last week. My spouse is a frontline manager for a larger firm across town that couldn’t send employees home because of the type of work they do (customer service center), so they are practicing social distancing.

Our daughter came home from college after her university shut its doors. Our parents are doing well—even though they aren’t being as good at social distancing as they should—and the pantry is in decent shape for the next few days. My question is “Now what?”

It looks as if we are going to be in this situation for at least a couple of weeks—possibly longer. What advice do you have for me as I make the transition from being super reactive to having a broader sense of what’s next? I know it’s going to be different for everyone based on the various situations people are facing. Some of us are bored and inconvenienced, like my daughter who is mad the retail stores are closed. Some of us are scared we might lose our jobs until customers come back. And others are working harder than ever trying to find short-term solutions to the sudden drop in business.

Any thoughts on smart next steps?

Now What

Dear Now What,

We are all facing the specter of a potential new normal. People are struggling with how to manage workers who have never had to work from home. Some are facing extreme isolation and loneliness with the loss of their regular workday structure and environment. And hourly workers in the hospitality and service industries are completely without income right now. I was my hairdresser’s very last client a few days ago and she hasn’t the vaguest idea how she is going to make her mortgage payments.

I was recently up in the middle of the night wringing my hands over the fact that three of my four adult children will not be generating much revenue in the next few months. I finally remembered one of my favorite coaching techniques: Worst Case Scenario Thinking. I realized quickly that, worst case, they could all move in with my husband and me. It would be tight, but worst case, we would ration food and repeatedly run out of hot water. And I would have to kick one kid out of what is now my office during the workday. If we were to lose our house, well, I guess we would go camp out at my in-laws.

I do think that the banks and landlords are going to have to forgive mortgage payments and rents for a while. We are, very literally, all in this together. Governments in every nation will have to step in to help those who are now unemployed.

For now, use other classic coaching techniques to get yourself grounded:

• Take a step back and try to see the big picture.
• Distinguish between what you can and cannot control.
• Tap into sources of strength and grace you didn’t know you had by accessing your vision of your best self and trying to rise to it.
• Brainstorm ways to take best care of yourself, your team if you are a leader, and your loved ones.
• Make choices about what you will and will not focus on.
• Create a new structure to manage your new normal.

We simply don’t know what’s going to happen next. All we can do is stay present to what is, and respond as best we can. Find someone who needs help and help them. I’ve found that reaching out to those who are in a bad way by lending an ear helps me to keep from obsessing about my own worries.

We can all still get outside. Go for a walk. Go for a long walk. Go for two walks. Wave to your neighbors. If you have an elderly neighbor, volunteer to take their dog with you on your long walks. Walking has been scientifically proven to make us better creative problem solvers. Being outdoors, especially in nature, has been shown to boost endorphins. My daughter in New York City is finding all kinds of hidden gems in her neighborhood—a beach on the East River! A sculpture garden! Who knew?

In terms of your wayward parents, it might help to remind them that if they end up very sick, it is going to be on you to navigate the ER with them and fight for the services they need.

In times of great crisis and uncertainty, each of us will toggle between rising to our own vision of our best selves and folding like a lawn chair. That’s OK. You can choose to be your own hero—and if you crumple to the floor in a heap of overwhelm and have to take to your bed, so be it. You’re allowed to pull the covers over your head or binge-watch the first five seasons of Friends for a while. You might find that breaking down causes a breakthrough that results in hidden reserves of grace, patience, generosity, and kindness.

Be prepared to settle into the long haul with this. It looks like it could be a marathon. Stay calm, stay grounded, and be kind to yourself first and then to others. I hope like crazy that the loss of retail therapy is the worst of it for your daughter. In the meantime, tell her to read a book!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“People’s lives change in two ways,” says bestselling business author and syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, “the people they meet and the books they read.”

In his new book You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! Uncommon Wisdom for Unleashing Your Full Potential, Mackay shares advice he’s learned over the years from coaches like Sam Walton, Peter Drucker, John Wooden, Lou Holtz, and others. His straight-shooting, humor-filled approach to success in business and life is covered across 27 different topic areas that include accountability, discipline, persistence, setting goals, ethics, and trust.

Here are eight key takeaways from Mackay’s book:

1. Attitude is key. “One of the most powerful things you can do to have influence with others is to simply smile at them. On the flip side, of all the human failings that can destroy a person or a business, arrogance is the deadliest.”
2. Your customers matter. “Taking care of customers is taking care of business, which is why you need to create a service culture. And when you do screw up—and everyone does—you need to know how to correctly apologize.”
3. Get hiring right. “You cannot be a leader under any circumstances unless you understand one four-letter word in the dictionary: hire. The single greatest mistake a manager can make is to hire the wrong person. And when it comes to getting hired, the most important thing to remember is that getting a job is a job in itself.”
4. Develop your people skills. “People skills are so important—including manners, watching your language, friendship, and being a class act.”
5. There is no substitute for quality. “Doing something that’s ‘just good enough’ never is. Our values and eye to detail determine who we are. It’s important to do things right the first time to gain trust.”
6. Compete to learn and grow. “Rivalries and opposition make you better and lead to creativity and innovation, which are critical for growth.”
7. Believe in your ability to improve. “There are many things you can do, such as strengthening your memory and learning from your mistakes, to build new skills. In my public speaking, I hammer home the point that people achieve to the degree that they believe in themselves. It doesn’t matter if someone says you can’t do something. The only thing that matters is if you say you can’t do it.”
8. Balance and perspective. “Be sure not to let making a living interfere with having a life!”

Ready to learn more? Visit the pre-order page for You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! at Amazon.com.

Need a little extra incentive? Every person who orders Harvey’s book by noon on Friday, January 31, will get two additional e-Books: “The Harvey Mackay Network Builder” and “Harvey Mackay’s ABCs of Success.”

All you need to do after ordering You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! is send an email to harvey@mackay.com and mention you learned about the book through Ken Blanchard. No proof of purchase is necessary.

PS: Not familiar with Harvey Mackay’s work and legacy? Check out this post from Jeffrey Gitomer sharing his experience spending a day with Harvey Mackay and Ken Blanchard.

In my role as an organizational coach, leadership presence is a frequent topic of discussion with executive clients and leaders who are striving to reach a desired position within their companies. I find it interesting that many of my clients who are seeking to improve their leadership presence have difficulty defining it.

In their book Leadership Presence, Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar define this competency as “the ability to connect authentically with the thoughts and feelings of others in order to motivate and inspire them toward a desired outcome.”

Here are some benefits to developing leadership presence:

• Building trusting and lasting relationships with work colleagues and clients
• Inspiring work colleagues to produce their best work product
• Acting as a coach for a reluctant new employee who lacks confidence
• Presenting a new product to a client
• Acting as a change agent in your organization
• Nurturing a healthy, positive, and fun work culture

For some leaders, seeking leadership presence can be both a career-long struggle and a career staller. Hard-driving individuals often spend a significant amount of time focusing on the bottom line and completing tasks rather than developing themselves or building relationships with colleagues and direct reports. I have coached many of these leaders who, later in their career, regret some of their earlier choices. They may have been bypassed for a promotion due to a lack of emotional intelligence or inability to relate well with others—and they often receive this feedback in a 360° assessment. Many organizations choose to provide executive coaching for these individuals due to their considerable talents and successful careers.

Most leaders come to executive coaching hungry to learn about themselves, improve their ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships, and enjoy their colleagues and direct reports. They will confess that something has been missing in their work lives. I would suggest that what’s lacking is self-knowledge and defining how they want to show up as a leader.

A great place to start when seeking to improve leadership presence is to think of a leader you admire—one who is inspiring, is able to command a room, possesses self-confidence, shows empathy and caring for others, and who consistently builds relationships and makes heart connections. I have my clients write about a person they admire so that they may capture the person’s desired qualities and traits. I often ask “Which of these qualities would you like to enhance within yourself?”

• P stands for Being Present—the ability to be completely in the moment, and flexible enough to handle the unexpected.

• R stands for Reaching Out—the ability to build relationships with others through empathy, listening, and authentic connection.

• E stands for Expressiveness—the ability to express feelings and emotions, appropriately by using all available means—words, voice, body, face—to deliver one congruent message.

• S stands for Self-Knowing—the ability to accept yourself, to be authentic, and to reflect your values in your decisions and actions.

When we are with someone who possesses leadership presence, we feel it, know it, admire it, and want it for ourselves. Leadership presence is more than the sum of the four PRES elements. It includes interior knowledge and exterior behaviors. It demands that we do the work of examining our values, identifying our personal brand, and correcting outward behaviors that may be pushing others away.

Think about a leader you admire. Observe this individual and jot down specific behaviors that you would like to develop within yourself. Perhaps it is their communication style or how others react when they enter a room. Which of their qualities could you emulate?

Best wishes in building your leadership presence in the new year!

About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

A new year is upon us. For many people, this time of year represents “out with the old, in with the new”—a new start or a new opportunity. I believe right now is the best time for self-reflection toward creating goals and identifying behaviors you need to become the person you want to be in 2020!

Imagine your desired future self. Who is the person you want to be? Is it someone who exudes executive presence, communicates eloquently, is a subject matter expert, is outgoing, or has confidence? Think big! Don’t limit yourself!

Next, what are the qualities you need to become this person? For example, would you like to be seen as charismatic, direct, self-aware, self-assured, sociable, empathetic, sincere, determined? It may help to think of the behaviors and qualities of a person you admire. Identify one or two behaviors to focus on to move toward your authentic future self.

Being your authentic self means being genuine and real. The way someone chooses to express confidence may be interpreted by others as cocky, fake, or power hungry. Be sure you are authentic and that you exhibit behaviors that complement your style. Let me share a story to help illustrate this point.

As an introvert, my natural tendency is to be a quiet observer and very guarded with what I say during a conversation. My goal is to be more outspoken and social. I once received feedback from team members who felt I was disengaged at times and who wanted me to share my opinions more often. I realized I was slow to respond and sometimes missed the opportunity to respond, which led to their perception that I was not engaged. I decided to make a change—and, most important, to do it in a way that was consistent with who I am.

I made an agreement with myself that I would start sharing my thoughts early in discussions, even if I did not have all the details or the time to process input from others before I stated my opinion. I gave myself permission to be vulnerable and uncomfortable with being more outgoing and outspoken.

Since then, I have been intentional with initiating conversations in social settings and speaking up during meetings and in group settings. I share my thoughts when appropriate, but I still engage through listening and processing what others say before I give my opinion.

Fast forward to today. During a large gathering of family and friends over the holidays, I was part of a discussion about the differences between introverts and extroverts, and being reserved versus outgoing. I stated I am an introvert, reserved, an observer, and not very comfortable in large settings. I was surprised to hear many state they disagreed with me. They gave me examples of when I was outgoing, displaying behaviors of an extrovert and a “social butterfly.” Looking back, I was happy I had accomplished an authentic behavior change, becoming more outspoken and social in a way that was still me.

How about you? Are you ready for a genuine change? Here are four steps to authentically change a behavior:

• Identify a behavior you want to change, such as shifting from timid to confident.
• Link the behavior to your values to be authentic. For example, being confident helps build positive relationships.
• Visualize the effectiveness of the behavior—a situation where you are confident and receive positive feedback from others.
• Create a plan of action. For example, be prepared for meetings, practice positive self-talk, learn presentation skills, etc.

It takes time, focus, and determination to change a behavior. But through self-awareness and being intentional with your actions, it can be done!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I hate New Year’s resolutions and I don’t feel like making any this year. I have had some success with them in the past, but this year I just feel overwhelmed with everything I have on my plate. Still, I feel so much pressure to make some.

What do you think?

Cranky

Dear Cranky,

I’m with you. Forget it. No NYR’s for 2020. None. Zip. Nada. ZERO. Okay?

Where is this pressure coming from? Your community? Family? Work? Your own self? Does it matter? No, it doesn’t. The pressure is totally manufactured.

Sometimes you just have to let things go. Set a new goal, go for a new habit, stop something bad, or start something good when you are good and ready and not a moment sooner.

Look, the whole construct is totally made up. Completely and totally made up. You can do whatever you want. The gift of NYR’s are that they inform you of what is really important to you.

For example, if you set the same resolution every year—let’s hear it for ”lose 10 pounds!”—it is data. It tells you that you care about it, you cared last year, and you still care this year. Unless right now, you don’t. I am still working on resolutions I originally set for January 1, 2000 because they are still important to me. I have absolutely mastered one out of the three, but they all still matter, and I still care. But it is just information. That’s all.

The number one reason people don’t achieve their goals is that they have too many of them. So. let it go, Cranky, you are off the hook. I said so.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Many leaders I work with know they would benefit from developing new skills but aren’t sure how to fit learning into their already packed schedule. I encourage them to think of their workplace as an on-the-job learning lab or playground where they can experiment with a new skill or behavior. I use this language because I think it’s best not to think of skill development as a big, serious task. Learners can relax into the learning by playing with it from different angles.

How about you? Are you putting off learning new things until the time feels right? Here are five strategies to help you get started.

• Choose one skill or behavior you want to acquire or improve. Get clear on one tool you want to add to your repertoire. Developing a new skill or behavior takes your best effort, so focusing on just one development area at a time prevents you from getting overwhelmed or diluting your efforts.

• Check your motivation. Do you truly want to develop this skill, or is it something you’ve selected because you think it might look good on your resume? Skill development requires that you be intentional and roll up your sleeves to hone what you want to learn. Internal motivation makes it much easier to put in the time and do the work.

• Create an image of what good looks like. Let’s say you want to become a more effective presenter. Once you determine you want to add that skill, create an image for yourself of what being a more effective presenter would look like. You can start by noticing good and not-so-good presentation skills of others around you—including people you work with, friends, family, or even the person giving away samples at a grocery store. After observing for a while, you will have created your vision of an effective presenter.

• Put your development plan together. Once you have your image defined, what you will you actually do to gain this new skill? If you aren’t sure, watch other presenters in person or online to see what they do that feels authentic to you. Seek advice and support from people who have presentation experience. Read books or articles on the topic. Look for tips, tricks, and suggestions that motivate you and resonate with who you are as a person.

• Ready, set, go. On the job is the best place to practice a new behavior—but use care. If you want to add presentation skills to your tool kit, it’s probably not best to start by volunteering to present to your executive leadership team. Start small, then build up your opportunities for practice as your skill level increases.

You don’t have to wait until your calendar opens up to work on skill development. You can practice on the job in the learning lab that is your workplace. Put these five strategies to work and take the first step today!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am what’s called a “people leader”—I lead individual contributors at a global software giant. I am also a technical contributor as a subject matter expert in a specific application.

I don’t love managing people. I am quite reserved and I find it tiring—but it is the only way to get ahead in this company. I’ve always thought I would stay here forever and rise through the ranks. But there has been so much change over the last 18 months that I have had three different bosses. The last one barely seems to know I am alive and has no idea about my technical expertise.

The person who runs the team on which I am an SME disagrees with the strategic direction of the organization and is planning to leave. He wants to take me with him. He is convincing me that if I went, I would make a lot more money and be able to focus on my technical expertise. I am single and could move, although I would be leaving my family and friends.

I have gotten myself into a state and have no idea what I should I do. Thoughts?

Stay or Go?

Dear Stay or Go,

Ah, these big life decisions. Of course, I can’t recommend a course of action one way or the other. I personally have a bias toward action, which has brought me enormous joy and probably more than my fair share of really bad mistakes. But I can help you review the situation as you have laid it out.

You enjoy the technical part of your job, but you have been pressured into managing people. The company you work for is unstable and you get no attention or support from management. The one senior person who seems to grasp and appreciate your value is leaving the company and wants to take you with him. So far, he has made promises, but as yet you have received no official offer. If you were to agree to an attractive offer, you would have to move and leave a settled life with an established community.

Essentially, you just don’t have enough information yet. I think before you do anything rash, you have to get a solid offer that includes a substantial raise, a clear job description, and your moving expenses covered. Until then, it is all pure speculation.

But this event is a bit of a wake-up call that everything is not quite right in your current position. And it’s an opportunity for you to define for yourself what would be better for you. To make these big life decisions, it is helpful for you to understand your core psychological needs and your values.

Values are important. What makes you smile? What do you gravitate to naturally? What gives you energy and pleasure? Ask yourself: Will I be more aligned with my values in this new situation?

Your needs are even more critical. They are what you have to have. To figure out your needs, think about what you must have to be fully functional. It sounds like you might have a need to pursue your mastery of your technical expertise, but you have no need to be in charge of other people.

Some needs don’t really become apparent until they aren’t met. One of the best ways to identify your needs is to think about a time when you behaved badly or became almost sick with unhappiness. Chances are some fundamental need wasn’t being met. What was it?

Do you like to be appreciated or do you need it? Do you like having a close community near you, or do you need it? If you get a reasonable offer, you will want to ask yourself Will I be able to rebuild a life in a new place where I can get what I need to be stable?

If I could be so bold, I’d like to recommend my book Leverage Your Best in this column. It has some great detail on needs and values and it might be worth your while. The more you understand about yourself, the easier it will be to make these big life choices.

If in the passage of time and events you decide to stay where you are, this exploration will still be useful and will help you shape your career path and inform the requests you make of your current management.

I hope you do a little self-reflection and learn more about who you are and what you really want out of life. The more thought you put into it now, the more likely you will be able to create an extraordinary life with few regrets.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

During my time as a coach, I have often utilized SWOT analyses to help teams analyze their organization’s Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. This is a simple, user-friendly method to help a team or a board focus on key issues affecting their business. This type of analysis often can be used as a precursor to a more comprehensive strategic planning session.

One benefit of the SWOT process is that it encourages teams to not only brainstorm ideas but also face untapped opportunities and potential threats. Consistent use of this framework can give an organization a competitive advantage through dialogue regarding brand, culture, new products or services, and capabilities.

What some people don’t realize, though, is that SWOT analysis can also be an effective personal strategic planning tool. Crafting your personal SWOT matrix is a powerful technique that can be used, for example, when you are seeking a career change or facing a major shift in your life.

Here are three steps to get started:

Step 1 – Identify what exists now. List all strengths that exist now. List all weaknesses that exist now. Be honest.

Step 2 – Look to the future. List all opportunities (potential strengths) that may exist in the future. List all threats (potential weaknesses) that may occur in the future.

Step 3 – Create a matrix/get a plan. Enter your ideas in the appropriate quadrant (see figure). Notice that strengths and weaknesses are internal forces; opportunities and threats are external. See how each quadrant has a relationship with another? What strengths exist that could overcome weaknesses? What weaknesses need to be overcome in order to embrace a new opportunity? Review your matrix and think about a plan.

Here are a few helpful questions to increase your awareness around internal and external factors:

• What skills and capabilities do you have?
• What qualities, values, or beliefs make you stand out from others?
• What are the skills you need to develop?
• What personal difficulties do you need to overcome to reach your goal?
• What external influences or opportunities can help you achieve success?
• Who could support you to help you achieve your objectives?
• What external influences may hinder your success?

A SWOT matrix can provide a foundation to help you create goals and action steps. You may consider addressing your weaknesses by building skills or self-leadership capabilities. Carefully review your opportunities, as they may be used to your advantage. And consider how threats could be minimized or eliminated by shifting personal priorities or gaining new knowledge.

It’s common for people to experience blind spots around their own strengths and weaknesses, so don’t hesitate to seek out opinions from friends, family members, and colleagues. Also, be willing to share your SWOT matrix with a partner who will hold you accountable for action steps and celebrate your progress.

Best of luck—and happy personal planning!

About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am so frustrated with myself. At the beginning of the year I set a whole bunch of goals. Then Q1 whooshed by and guess what I have done? Nothing. I stayed really focused for about two weeks and then forgot all about my resolutions.

One of my big goals was to have regular one on ones with everyone on my team, and it just isn’t happening. Something always seems to get in the way.

I feel like such a loser. I am never going to be the manager I want to be. I am racing around like a squirrel and everything seems like the most important nut. How can I reset and be successful?

Need to Try Again

Need to Try Again,

I love your metaphor. I can really relate! I’m so sorry you feel like a loser, though. I can sense the downward spiral you’re in.

The first order of business is to reverse the spiral so you can start thinking straight and get yourself back on track. To do this, make a quick list of every way you are winning—things you’re doing well, projects that are going according to plan, tasks you’re great at, goals you’re reaching, goals your direct reports are achieving. I’ll bet it’s a decent list.

The main reason you feel terrible is that you aren’t winning at some new goals. Just ponder on that for a moment. Then, if you’re still feeling like a loser, add to the list all the things you’re grateful for. It will literally change your brain chemistry.

Now let’s take a look at those new goals. How many are there? I’ll bet you an acorn you have too many. The number two reason people don’t achieve their goals is that they have too many of them. The number one reason is that they set unspecific, unclear goals.

I challenge you to choose one goal. Only one. Let’s go ahead and choose having regular one on ones with your people, since you brought it up. You may decide to choose something else on your list, but you can use this thought process.

Ask yourself: What is driving your desire to do this? What makes it important right now? Are you sure your people even want one-on-one meetings with you? What will the benefit be for them? For you? Decide for yourself what a good job looks like—how will you know you’re successful?

Then get support—who can help you with this? The obvious choice for this is your people. Ask your direct reports to take responsibility for their own one on ones. They can each put their own regular time on your calendar or otherwise make sure the meeting gets scheduled.

Finally, once you decide you’re going to commit, then really commit. Once the one on ones are scheduled, they are sacred. Nothing gets scheduled over them. (Okay, we all know that probably isn’t going to work, but you make sure the meeting gets rescheduled.) If you schedule them for every week, nobody will mind if you end up having to miss one, or even two. Then at least your people get two one on ones in a 30-day period, which maybe isn’t ideal but it isn’t bad—and it’s a lot better than none.

Take 7 minutes at the beginning and the end of each week and review your calendar to make sure those one on ones are there, and move them if needed. If you start feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself of why you decided to schedule them in the first place.

Now you can see how much work it is just to get on track with one thing—and you had a whole laundry list! No wonder it didn’t work. Get one thing nailed down, whatever it is. Get it into your daily actions, and at a certain point you will not be able to remember a time when you didn’t do it. Then you can add something else.

Calm down, take three deep breaths and choose. One thing. You can do this.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I was recently hired into a manufacturing company in the engineering department. I am leading two different teams. One of the teams is running smoothly, and the other one is a disaster.

Disaster team is in constant turmoil— to the degree that some members of team are not even speaking to each other. The work output isn’t a complete mess yet, but we seem to be headed that way. I am leading both teams in the same way, so I can’t identify what I should be doing differently. What to do?

A Tale of Two Teams

_____________________________________________________

Dear A Tale of Two Teams,

Wow. The good news is that you aren’t responsible for creating the mess. The bad news is that once a team has gotten off on the wrong foot, it can be really hard to put things right. But there are some things you can do—and everything you learn from this experience will serve you well.

It sounds as if you are on your own when it comes to becoming a better team leader. This is not unusual. Our research shows:

• Over half of all work is done on teams, and most of us are on five or six teams at any given time. It is how the really complicated work gets done.
• Most teams are suffering—only 27 percent of people would say that their teams are high performing.
• Just 1 in 4 people think they have been well trained by their organization to lead teams.

The top obstacles to teams working well are familiar to all of us. Teams fall apart because of:

• Unclear purpose of team and/or unclear goals
• Murky roles and decision rights
• Lack of accountability (some people pull their weight and others don’t), which leads to resentment.
• Lack of candor and openness, which leads to the death of constructive conflict
• Poor tracking and no celebration of wins and progress

All of these complications undermine trust and collaboration. Not surprisingly, lack of clarity is the ultimate undermining factor. If you look carefully at your team that is working, you will probably find that its members have somehow created clarity around the team’s purpose, goals, and behavioral norms, and that they know how to solve problems and resolve disagreements. Those areas might be a good place to start with your disaster team. Call out that they are in crisis, and request that you all go back to the beginning and start over to get clarity on all of the above dimensions

It might be helpful for you to know about the study that Google did on teams that work well. They found these to be the most important elements for high performing teams:

• Psychological safety: Team members feel safe to fully express themselves, share ideas, and take risks free of the fear of humiliation, punishment, or judgment.
• Dependability: Team members can depend on each other to do what they say they will do, mean what they say, and have each other’s backs.
• Structure and clarity: Everyone on the team is crystal clear about the overarching objectives of the team and their own individual goals and tasks for the team.
• Meaning: Each person must find their own emotional connection to the work or the outcomes of the work. It will vary for each individual.
• Impact: Each individual, and the team as a whole, must have a clear line of sight between their own work, the work of the team, and the big picture strategic goals of the organization.

As the team leader, you can help create or increase psychological safety by role modeling certain behaviors—the behaviors you seek in your team members.

• Pay close attention to each individual, use active listening techniques, don’t interrupt, and acknowledge all contributions.
• Be fully present and engaged while with the team.
• Be accessible, share information about yourself, and encourage others to do the same.
• Include all team members in decision making and explain your final decisions in detail so that everyone understands your thinking.
• Show that you will not tolerate bad behavior by stepping in when you see it.

It all starts with you. Creating psychological safety is a tall order, so I would recommend starting with the behaviors that make sense to you and come easily. Then drive for clarity, clarity, clarity. My experience tells me it’s very possible you have one person on the team who benefits from creating chaos and keeping things muddy. You know the adage: one bad apple spoils the barrel. If this is true, it will be revealed as you drive for clarity and you can remove that person from the team. If it isn’t true, clarity will reduce the friction and the team will balance out.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

What is your opinion about New Year’s resolutions? I have a list of goals as long as my arm for the New Year, and I realize I am probably overdoing it. How do I know how much is enough, and how much is too much?

Feeling Ambitious

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Feeling Ambitious,

There is something so inspiring about the feeling of a fresh start, isn’t there? But we know good intentions alone aren’t going to get us where we want to go. A ton of research has been done on the topic of goal setting and achievement. The newest entry to the field is from Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit. His most recent book, Smarter, Faster, Better, is a fairly standard take on the topic but fresh for today. To be fair, though, he stands on the shoulders of Steven Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) and Hyrum Smith (The 10 Natural Laws of Time and Life Management). These two books caused me to radically change my life twenty-five years ago. Both Covey and Smith insist that every choice you make must be rooted in your deepest values in order for you to be successful. For example, losing weight won’t work if you are doing it to please someone else. A goal must be important to you or you are not likely to accomplish it.  

Here are a few quick tips if you aren’t up for a stack of books—although a little Googling will uncover many good summaries!

• Pick one big thing. Probably the main reason people don’t achieve their goals—other
  than lack of deep personal commitment—is that they have set too many. So your angst
  that you may be loading up on goals is probably spot on. As you swing back to
  normal after a big holiday season, you are already behind, so you must manage
  your own expectations. Choose one big thing and let the rest go.
• Get Support. Lots of it. Change is hard, no matter what it is—and if you’re
  trying to break an addiction like nicotine or sugar, it is doubly hard. The
  brain craves anything that causes a predictable release of dopamine, so you’ll
  need more support than you think you do. Tapering off can help, as can support
  groups, a buddy, keeping a journal, daily acknowledgment, or asking for help
  from your guardian angel or whatever you know to be your higher power.
• Break it Down. You have one big goal. Break it down into small sub-goals or daily
  commitments. Ask yourself: What can I do,
  every day, to keep myself on track? Make a chart and check off something every
  day. (I’m sure there’s an app for this, but I’m committed to reducing my screen
  time, so I go with paper.)
• Be Clear.
  You may have heard of the SMART model—it’s been around for years and still offers
  good guidelines for goal setting. Here’s the way I learned it: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timebound. Other interpretations for the model exist but I won’t go into a long analysis here, because so many have done it so well. Again, Google can shed more light on this if you’re interested.

I mention the SMART model because I have observed in myself and in my coaching clients that specificity has tremendous power, and so does a timeline. It’s fairly easy to set a SMART goal with something like losing weight, because we can use numbers. With other things, it can get foggy. So specificity and clarity are key. For example, “I want to get better at my job” is not going to help you. “I am going to achieve ‘Exceeds Expectations’ on the following three competencies at my job” will take you much further.

Note: before you start, you must ask yourself: How will I know I am successful in the end? You can only really celebrate your success if you have answered this question in the beginning.

• Make it Compelling: Now let’s loop back to my first point, which is that you really
  have to care about doing the work to
  achieve your goal. You can’t do it for your spouse, your kids, your dad, or
  anyone else, no matter how much you care about them. So, choose something you really, really want. It doesn’t matter
  if it isn’t a big deal to anyone else, or if it isn’t going to make you a
  better person. If you really care, there is a chance you will succeed.

I will leave you now so that I can decide how to be nicer, more productive, a more patient mom, a more inspiring boss, thinner, healthier, and a more committed recycler. I only wish I were kidding.

Here’s to miracles for all of us in the New Year!

Love, Madeleine

PS. I was kidding. Kind of. But seriously, my big goal in 2019 is for this “Ask Madeleine” column to be more widely read. So I am asking for your support. If you like my column, please share it every week with three (3) other people whom you think would like it. Thank you so much!

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve had my eye on a position that might be opening in my company. It would be a big step for me, but I think this is the job I have always wanted.

My problem is that the minute I start even thinking about applying, I feel overcome with anxiety and literally break into a cold sweat. Then I hear a voice in my head saying, “Who the heck do you think you are?”

How do I get up the nerve to pursue this? I am not even sure I want the job, but how will I ever know if I get so anxious I can’t even think about it? Help!

Riddled with Doubt

Dear Riddled,

It is rare to have so many topics covered in such a short question, so I will take them in turn, in order of priority.

1. You need to get some help with your anxiety before you do anything else. We all deal with some anxiety, but yours is interfering with your life. This is the definition of an emotional or psychological condition that needs to be addressed. Anxiety is tricky. It creeps up on you slowly and backs you into a corner before you even realize what is happening. So I am telling you, point blank, you are in a corner and you need to get some help. There are some excellent tools available to help you tame your anxiety. If those don’t work…well, a professional can help you.
2. You have had your eye on this job, so clearly you can see yourself in it. Do you think you have the skills and competencies required to apply and be taken seriously? More important, do you trust yourself to be able to learn quickly and grow into the job in a reasonable amount of time?

In another part of your email you stated you are a female. As a woman, your social conditioning does leave you at a disadvantage when it comes to putting yourself out there. The statistics are varied, but the one I see most consistently says that men tend to apply for opportunities when they have just 60 percent of the qualifications, while women generally don’t apply unless they are 100 percent qualified. The various reasons for this are outlined in this article that might interest you.

Ultimately, the rules that make someone successful in school don’t really apply to working in large systems. The way to get ahead and continually find challenges for yourself will require you to take risks. You will fail, but you will also succeed. As many have said, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no.”

3. I was struck by your use of the language “Who do you think you are?” This is language we hear from people in childhood designed to keep us in our place. It is cruel and demeaning. And here you are, using it on yourself! Cut it out. Honestly. It isn’t as if you are proposing to perform brain surgery with no training. You are simply thinking about maybe trying for a new and different job that may be interesting.

I would ask you to answer that question realistically. Who do you think you are? What are your skills and strengths? What experience do you have? What do you bring to the table that maybe no other applicant has? To get a new perspective on this, you might try taking that Values in Action Strengths Assessment—it’s free and fun. It will help you answer that question more positively than you otherwise might.

This is kind of old news, but I love it so much and it has not lost its power—and you may never have seen it. It is from Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love and it was quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inauguration speech:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone—and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Finally, Riddled, get your friends and family on board here. Ask anyone for support that you know loves you and wants the best for you. Get a handle on the anxiety, stop playing small, get support, and go for it. Start with some deep breathing. Breathing never hurts, and always helps.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Hi Madeleine,

I have been working for over 15 years in my field and have moved up the ranks. In my last role I was a manager. 

Six months ago, I left my old job and moved to a company that had a small team where I was given a supervisor/team lead title that was one step below my previous position. That was fine, given that the title was the next rank down in the new company’s hierarchy. I also anticipated that the job would further my skill set and I would learn different tools and approaches. I had felt stagnant in my previous job. 

Recently, our department head created a new “senior team lead” level between the role I have and the one above. My teammate was then promoted to this new role based on the fact she’s been here for a year longer than I have and would be assisting my team lead with strategy. 

I don’t begrudge my teammate her promotion because she deserves it. However, I’m feeling like I’ve effectively been demoted because I’m now two ranks below manager instead of one. And the way that my manager presented a document detailing the new “career path” felt patronizing. 

I also feel that my 15+ years in the field counts for nothing and that I’m just seen as a new person who has been with the company for six months—even though I have more experience and skills than both my team lead and my teammate put together. 

I know I have the skills for this newly created job, but I would have to work here for another three to five years to be promoted even to my former level, let alone anything above that. 

Should I say something? What? How? And to whom? 

Thanks,

Did I Make a Mistake?

Dear Did I Make a Mistake,

I think you might be focusing on the wrong things. The questions to ask yourself are:

• In this new job, are you able to further your skill set and learn different tools and approaches as you expected?
• Do you like your team and your new manager?
• Do you enjoy working with your new team?
• Is your current compensation and benefit package working for you?
• Is your quality of life (workspace, commute, personal sustainability) better with your new job, or worse?
• Do you want to manage people, or do you prefer to be a technical specialist?

It sounds like your mind is really stuck on the seniority and your career trajectory, which is fine, but you must decide if that is more important to you than everything else.

That you felt patronized in your meeting with your manager is a different and separate issue. You definitely want to clear the air about that. If she isn’t aware of your experience, it wouldn’t hurt for her to know about it. If she is open to feedback about her approach to the conversation, it would be very good to share what you thought and how it made you feel. Just because your title isn’t where you want it to be doesn’t mean that your experience should be diminished or that you should feel disrespected.

If you weigh the answers to all of questions against your dissatisfaction with your seniority and title and it still feels all wrong, then you have your answer. Fight for the right title and level based on your experience—and be ready to go elsewhere if proper adjustments can’t be made.

If everything is really working for you, I suggest you let this go and focus on simply enjoying the work and doing a great job.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In this episode, Alex Hutchinson shares what he learned from ten years of researching human performance. He explains that whether you are running a marathon, building a career, or raising a family, you will have fundamental struggles. And even though the situations are very different, the struggles are similar. “Human achievement relies upon the ability to endure?and your ability to push forward in any circumstance will separate the very successful times from the less successful times,” explains Hutchinson. Here are a few of the fascinating concepts he shares:

Although some limits we experience feel physical, many are dictated by the brain. That doesn’t mean we can ignore those limits, but we need to realize they are more changeable than we think. If, for example, you are struggling to win a race or fighting to stay awake during a presentation, you are hitting a limit. Being able to recognize the difference between apparent and actual limits is at the heart of understanding what endurance is all about.

Your beliefs could be the most powerful asset you have for improving performance. Believing you can do something is part of the trick. The method of creating belief doesn’t happen overnight?it takes time and effort to build confidence. And confidence improves performance. Tricking yourself that you are performing better than you actually are can bridge the gap between what your brain thinks you can do and what your body really can do. Deception is useful to show you what is possible to achieve; however, it isn’t a great method for sustaining performance.

Understand that mental fatigue is as real and as tiring as physical fatigue. Research shows that looking at a computer screen for a few hours can cause changes in your brain chemistry that result in mental fatigue?and that can damage your physical performance. So, if you are in the office powering through a project on your computer, maybe the best thing you can do is get up and take a walk outside to refresh your mental state and then get back to your project with renewed energy.

Pain causes discomfort that slows us down. An athlete experiences physical pain, but someone making a presentation or speech can also feel pain. The good news is that pain tolerance can be developed. To push the limits of your endurance, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Nutrition plays a huge role in your performance. It’s obvious that physical endurance depends on food and water, but a nutritious diet is also important for brain function. There is no silver bullet diet?you must find what works best for you.

Finally, Hutchinson explains the importance of optimism and believing in yourself. He reminds us that “The experience of a limit is a sensation in the brain. It isn’t easy to change, but it isn’t as absolute as it feels. Don’t take the feeling of hitting a limit as a signal of failure, but as a signal to look for another way to accomplish your goal.”

“Most ideals about why people are successful are driven by stereotypes and gut feel rather than facts and data,” explains Botelho. “In this book, we’ve aspired to provide information about how anyone can be successful by helping readers learn from other successful people in business.”

Learnings shared in the book are based on groundbreaking research and in-depth analysis of more than 2,600 leaders drawn from a database of more than 17,000 CEO and C-suite executives. Botelho describes the four behaviors of highly successful people as identified by the research.

1. They are decisive and understand the importance of speed over precision when making decisions. According to Botelho, most people assume that CEOs have an uncanny ability to make the right decisions more often than other people. But her research indicates that what really makes a CEO stand out isn’t necessarily the accuracy of their decision, but the speed and will to make the decision in the first place.
2. They are reliable and deliver what they promise, when they promise it—without exception. This behavior sounds simple, but isn’t easy to practice consistently. Botelho describes the importance of being on time and doing what you say you’re going to do—and she offers another tip: “Highly reliable leaders are thoughtful about setting expectations right up front.” Botelho shares that this behavior not only improves the likelihood you will succeed in your role, but also increases your chances of being hired In the first place.
3. They adapt boldly, especially when faced with the discomfort of the unknown. “Of the four behaviors, this is the one where people are most likely to underestimate their ability—and that is costly.” Botelho explains people naturally assume change will be painful, so they resist it. But her research shows that the most successful leaders are good at letting go of past behaviors, habits, and commitments that will not serve them in the future.
4. They engage with stakeholders without shying away from conflict. These leaders focus on leading to deliver results that benefit the company as opposed to leading to be liked. They keep all stakeholders—customers, employees, and shareholders—in mind and manage those relationships.

Finally, Botelho shares some counterintuitive insights about making great strides in your career—what she calls career catapults. “Sometimes it is better to go small in order to go big,” Botelho says. Having an elite MBA or working for a marquee company is a great way to advance your career, but sometimes taking what looks like a side step instead of always focusing on moving up the ladder can have a more positive impact. By being in charge of a smaller project, division, or group, you might actually have a chance to practice more skills and get more exposure.

According to the author, here is the most important message to take away from The CEO Next Door and this podcast: Excellence is more achievable for us than we assume.

Be sure to stay tuned for comments from Ken Blanchard at the end of the podcast!

Check out this episode!

“Part of effective communication between manager and direct report is a mindset and part is a skillset. Both are required,” says Phillips. “It’s easy for managers to convince themselves they don’t have time for quality conversations, especially when they aren’t particularly interested in having them and don’t really know how to do it.

“Every manager I’ve worked with has so much of their own work to do all day, every day, that some can’t see their way clear to spending time with the folks who work for them—other than performance reviews, rushed interactions, or crises,” explains Phillips. “Conversations between these managers and their people are mostly manager-led directives of ‘this is what I want you to do; here’s how to do it.’ The manager is focused on getting stuff done and on what needs to happen—not on their direct reports’ career growth or needs.

“Unfortunately, when individual contributors in this scenario become managers, they treat people exactly the way they were treated. Sub-quality conversations become a cultural norm.”

The good news, according to Phillips, is that managers can learn to be more effective in their work conversations.

“If a manager has the right mindset and training, it’ll drive the right behavior,” says Phillips. She recommends focusing on three specific conversations to get started.

The Goal-Setting Conversation

“All good performance begins with clear goals. Effective goal-setting conversations begin with clarity—what to do, by when, and what a good job looks like,” says Phillips. “Be specific—and don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s critically important to take the time to make sure both parties are interpreting the same words in the same way to avoid misunderstandings.

“Conversations and relationships can go sideways when people interpret things differently but don’t have a conversation about that interpretation. Never assume!”

This leads to the second important conversation at which managers need to excel—giving feedback.

The Feedback Conversation

“A friend of mine recently told me I tend to hijack conversations,” says Phillips. “The funny thing is, I was just about to tell her she does the same thing! We discovered that what I interpret as hijacking and what she interprets as hijacking are two different things.

“We talked about how, when she’s talking and pauses to think, I rush in to fill the empty space.  It goes back to my experience at home. In my family, you talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and there are no pauses. So when my friend goes silent, I fill in the gap and start talking about something.

“Then I explained to her that I feel she hijacks the conversation when I tell her about something happening in my life and she immediately turns it into a discussion about something that’s happening in her life. It’s related, but it still feels to me like she is making it about her.

“Because we are committed to our friendship, we’re willing to discuss things that are uncomfortable and to consider each other’s point of view. That’s important at work, too. Managers and direct reports need to have the type of relationship where they can talk honestly. When a manager cares about a direct report as a human being—and vice versa—they build up an emotional bank account they can draw from.  That allows them to have difficult conversations when they need to.”

Sadly, the word feedback has a negative connotation in business today, says Phillips.

“People seldom think of feedback as praise or recognition. When people hear that word, they think at best it’s going to be constructive criticism. But it rarely feels constructive—it just feels like criticism.

“It’s another area where most managers don’t have the skills they need—especially feedback around performance improvement and redirection. Managers are so concerned about how someone might respond to feedback, they tend to avoid it altogether.”

One way managers can be more successful when preparing to give feedback is to make sure they are coming at it from the right place.

“Your feedback can’t be based on your own personal agenda,” says Phillips. “It has to be about helping other people be successful or otherwise improving the team. If you come from a personal agenda, your feedback will come across poorly.

“In my conversation with my friend, she gave me the feedback about the way I hijack conversations because she wanted our conversations to be better.  I knew that, and it gave me a chance to think about my behavior and run it over in my mind. That was a good learning for me—to recognize that behavior I picked up from my family might be misinterpreted when I’m dealing with other people.”

The One-on-One Conversation

Listening and focusing on the other person’s agenda is especially important when managers conduct one-on-one conversations with their direct reports, says Phillips.

“It’s easy to fall into the manager’s agenda, where one-on-ones can turn into a review of how the direct report is doing on each of their goals. At The Ken Blanchard Companies, we teach managers to schedule semi-monthly one-on-ones, where the agenda is driven by the individual contributor and what they need.”

The manager’s primary role is to listen and provide support, says Phillips.  Senior leaders are generally better at this than are new managers.

“At the senior levels of an organization, a VP typically will have more experience asking a direct report how things are going and finding out what the direct report needs to succeed. As you move down to the frontlines of an organization, managers are less experienced at taking the lead in a conversation like that.”

Especially at the frontlines, Phillips observes, managers and supervisors need training in how to have effective one-on-one conversations. Otherwise, the direct report is likely to default to the manager and ask the manager what they want talk about.

“It’s important to teach managers to ask open-ended questions about what an individual contributor’s needs are. Suppose the direct report comes into the meeting with a blank piece of paper and says, ‘What do you want talk about?’ The manager should take that opening and say, ‘Let’s talk about some things you are working on. Let’s list the three or four tasks, discuss your development level, and talk about how I can help you.’ Eventually, that direct report will become more proactive and learn to take the lead in those conversations.”

It’s a process and a joint responsibility—one where everybody benefits, says Phillips.

“Leaders influence through the power of their conversations. Train your managers—and your individual contributors—in the skills they need for more effective conversations at work. It’s one of the best ways to improve performance and satisfaction.”

Would you like to learn more about improving the quality and frequency of conversations in your organization?  Then join us for a free webinar!

PERFORMANCE MANAGEMENT 101: 3 CONVERSATIONS ALL MANAGERS NEED TO MASTER

Wednesday, August 1, 2018, 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Managers influence and lead through the words they use and the communication skills they apply. In this webinar, Blanchard senior consulting partner Ann Phillips will share the three types of conversations managers must know how to conduct.

1. The Goal-Setting Conversation—how to set goals collaboratively with a focus on motivation.
2. The Feedback Conversation—how to praise performance when it is aligned and how to redirect performance when it is off track.
3. The One-on-One Conversation—how to set aside time to hear from direct reports using high levels of inquiry and listening.

Don’t miss this opportunity to evaluate how your organization is currently addressing performance management. Learn the elements of masterful performance management and how to apply these principles in your own organization. Ann will share tips and strategies you can put into practice immediately. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Register today!

An increasingly complex business environment requires an engaging and easy-to-understand service vision says Vicki Halsey, co-author of Legendary Service: The Key Is to Care.

In a short, one-minute video featuring key concepts from The Ken Blanchard Companies new Legendary Service training program, Halsey shares a great story about how one major league baseball stadium engaged all employees in creating “major league memories.”

It is so rewarding to coach clients who want to be amazing and who dare to rise!  They are fully aware of their current reality of operating in the normal status quo and are now ready to shake it up.  Other clients gain the desire to rise during a few coaching sessions after self-reflecting and uncovering their goals and who they want to be.

Only YOU know what being amazing looks like for YOU!  It may involve taking baby steps in accomplishing smaller goals. Or it may be making a bigger leap to a larger goal. In both cases, stepping outside of the norm to “Rise to be Amazing” involves the following 4 elements:

1. Self-Reflection – Take the time to think about what you want to achieve and who you want to be in order to be amazing. Define what amazing means to you.

2. Self-Awareness – Recognize your normal mode of operation, behaviors, and thoughts.

3. Courage – Be willing to take a risk, to be uncomfortable, and to challenge yourself.

4. Believe in Yourself – This is huge: envision yourself being amazing! Personally, this helped me achieve completing my first marathon in 2016.  Wow—what a feeling!  After doubting myself and not taking control of my life/work circumstances for years, I chose to Rise to be Amazing!

Being amazing works in your personal life and also in your professional life.  For example, I have worked with many clients whose professional goal was to be an amazing leader.  For these clients, a focus on better goal setting, diagnosing a direct report’s development level, or becoming better at providing direction and support defined being a master at management.  Communication is another common topic where many clients want to become more effective.  This, too, involves self-awareness, self-discipline, and the willingness to adapt one’s communication style and approach.

Who knows what you might achieve if you rise beyond being normal. I challenge you to Rise to be Amazing!!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

How do you decide when to take on a new task or a new job? Could we thrive with a little bit more intentional thought? According to best-selling business author Dan Pink, there is a large and growing amount of research that gives clear guidance on how to get systematically better and smarter about making decisions on when to do things.

“We all experience Peak moments, Trough moments, and Recovery moments.  The key is to schedule the right type of work for each of these times. Our cognitive abilities change throughout the day. Do your analytic work during the Peak, administrative work during the Trough, and creative work during Recovery.”

Simply following this pattern can result in a 20 percent improvement in how people perform a job, says Pink.

Peak times should be used for analytic tasks and those that require head-down, focused attention and energy—for example, writing a report or analyzing data.  Save Trough time—which usually occurs later in the day—for routine administrative work.

“That’s when we should answer routine emails, fill out expense reports, or do the kinds of things that don’t require a heavy cognitive load,” says Pink.

Recovery time is best suited for certain types of insight work or brainstorming.

“Our mood is higher, but at the same time we tend to be less vigilant.”

Pink also shares insight on research that highlights the importance of taking breaks throughout the day. He offers a couple of best practice guidelines.

1. Something beats nothing. “Even a one- or two-minute break can restore energy and mental acuity.”
2. Moving is better than stationary. “Get up and move around—don’t sit at your desk and look at your phone.”
3. Social beats solo. “Breaks with other people are more replenishing than breaks on our own—even for introverts.”
4. Outside beats inside. “Nature has incredible replenishing benefits on our mental acuity and on our well-being.”
5. Fully detached beats semi-detached. “When you take a break, leave your phone at your desk.”

Finally, Pink shares timing recommendations for starting new projects and keeping teams performing at their best, and also discusses how to be intentional when setting up the beginning, midpoint, and ending of projects.

Be sure to listen through to the very end of the session, where Ken Blanchard shares his key takeaways from the interview!

That’s wishful thinking, says Sanborn.

Sanborn recommends that people practice “positive discontent” in their lives and says that life gets interesting when you ask yourself, “How much better could I be?”

He offers four reasons for getting started sooner rather than later:

1. Change: If you stay the same, you get left behind
2. Customers: The more you do, the more they expect—you have to keep improving
3. Competitors: They keep getting better—you need to, also
4. Capability: It gives you a chance to offer more to the world

Sanborn discusses his Potential Matrix, which focuses on both your inner world and your outer world. In the outer world you have performing and learning.  In the inner world, thinking and reflecting. Sanborn explains that most people have a preferred quadrant, but it’s best to work on all four and look for improvement in all areas.

“Start with what you most need to improve. Where would you see the most benefit?  This makes it easier to create momentum.”

Next, Sanborn recommends finding people who can help you along your journey.

“Engage others—think who before how. Who can help you get better?  Find an expert who already knows.”

Sanborn also discusses how to disrupt your present thinking, refocus on what is important, and increase your capacity.

“You need to disrupt yourself before someone else does.  You probably have a relationship, process, or problem that you know isn’t working very well.  It’s always better to initiate disruption yourself than to wait for things to get worse—then you have to act.

Sanborn specifically encourages leaders.

“Leaders know what matters—the key is to make it matter to others—that’s what makes you a leader. Focus on the important things. Grow yourself and grow your team.  Learn how to accomplish more in the same amount of time.”

And finally, some personal advice.

“Each morning make it a goal to go to bed that night a little bit smarter than you were when you woke up.  Learn something new.  Try something different.  Make a new a new friend. Pursue a new idea. Don’t go through life status quo.”

Be sure to listen to the very end of the interview to hear Ken Blanchard’s thoughts and takeaways from the ideas Sanborn shares!

What exactly does it take to achieve mastery?

It begins with clarity. Identifying the needed behaviors and actions to move toward mastery.

Be intentional and focused. It takes concentrated brain power to go against your natural tendencies due to deep pathways created in the brain. You must be focused in your actions.

Take risks. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable as you move toward mastery. Be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone to experience new behaviors, actions, and interactions.

Embrace change. Keep your eye on the prize. In Situational Leadership^® II we teach that being new to a task or goal requires extra time and effort; but as you progress and gain mastery, it becomes easier and easier as new natural tendencies are formed.

Learn from setbacks. Recognize that you will experience setbacks and what even feels like failure at times. The key is to learn from these challenges and to see them as learning opportunities that lead to mastery.

Be open to learn. An open mind sparks the creation of new pathways in the brain. Be open to making changes when needed based on experiences. Mastery is a journey!

I’ve made a commitment to myself for 2018 to do what it takes to achieve mastery in public speaking. I am confident speaking one on one, but I want to also be confident in front of a group. I have already committed to several speaking opportunities this year. Yes, I am nervous, anxious, and excited. But I want to achieve mastery for professional growth.

Repetition is the key. It will take time and dedication to achieve mastery. It will be uncomfortable. But I believe in myself!

Join me and shake it up to achieve mastery!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

In working with clients on setting One Minute Goals, Blanchard would often have managers and their direct reports identify their top five goals separately and then compare them.

As Ken Blanchard tells it, “Any similarity between the two lists was purely coincidental—especially later in the year.” In most cases, the work priorities were rank ordered quite differently by manager and direct report, with some important goals missing.

Digging into causes, Blanchard found that a day-to-day emphasis by managers on tasks that were urgent, but not necessarily important, was often to blame. Managers tended to focus on short-term issues when delivering feedback, which caused important long-term goals to fade into the background. Only when performance review came around were the long-term goals reidentified. Of course, by then it was often too late to make any real progress. The result was missed targets and, often, hard feelings.

Don’t let this happen with your team. In addition to setting clear goals at the beginning of the year, take some time, at least quarterly, to check in on what you are emphasizing as urgent.  Maybe priorities have changed.  Maybe the goals are outdated.

Good goal setting is not a once-a-year process.  In the best organizations, goals are reviewed on a regular basis and updated as needed.  Once goals are set, be sure to continually manage and review performance to stay on track throughout the year.

Here are 10 potential things to stop doing in the next year, and what to start doing instead.

Stop taking the monkey. Volunteering to take on problems that are not yours to solve or projects that somebody else should be doing is thankless and diverts your attention from the work that you are accountable for. It is one thing to occasionally step in to help out in a pinch, but it is another to feel constantly overwhelmed because you are stepping in where you shouldn’t.  If you find yourself doing this, start putting your hand over your mouth next time a call for a volunteer goes out and let everyone be uncomfortable in the silence until somebody else pipes up.

Stop booking every minute of the day. Research shows that people who take a minimum of 15 minutes in the morning to plan their day and an hour at the end to tie up loose ends are much more productive than those who don’t. Start booking those times out before they get booked by other stuff that is less important.

Stop keeping your head down and not developing relationships. Getting your work done is important but creating relationships with people who can help you get work done is even more so. Leave time as you come and go to stop and chat with people, make lunch and coffee dates.  Start making a list of all the people in the company you like and are interested in and reach out with invites.

Stop complaining. Yes, there are serious problems in the world and you have more work than you can do, but chances are you actually have a completely decent job and are safe at this moment. Moaning “Ain’t it Awful” never helped anyone – stop focusing on stuff you can’t control and start paying attention to what is  If you must, stop listening to the news and listen to podcasts or books on tape instead.

Stop using email for a dopamine hit. Scanning your email, texts and Twitter feed is not actually the same as responding to them. It is a habitual way to create a dopamine hit in your brain and it is wildly unproductive.  Start making yourself take breaks from your electronics.  Schedule time to look at and respond to email and texts. Don’t look at any other social media during the work day unless it is part of your job.

Stop ignoring administrative tasks. Doing HR paperwork and submitting expenses is about as tedious as work gets but the only person who suffers when you procrastinate is you. Start saving rote admin work for late in the day when your brain is shot—or even better, don’t let yourself do anything high value until the boring stuff is done.

Stop being indirect. Yes, it is hard to tell it like it is, or to say no when you need to. It is so much easier to keep your head down and your trap shut. Going along to get along muddies the waters and is the path to mediocrity. Start having an opinion. Once you are clear about what you are willing to take a stand for and why, practice making your case and then speak up and don’t equivocate.

Stop being too busy to learn something new. “I don’t have time” is an old story and rarely true. We are all constantly barraged with new operating systems, software, and apps. Start taking twenty minutes to watch a YouTube video on something that will help make you more efficient and your work easier and will keep you humming and relevant.

Stop multi-tasking. Split focus means no focus. There are some rote things you can do and multi-task: like driving a regular route, cleaning, knitting, crocheting, doodling.  But the minute you drop a stitch, spill the Clorox, or have to hit the brakes unexpectedly it’s all over and you will absolutely miss whatever is being said. Start deciding what you are going to focus on and for how long.  Set your timer for seven minutes to do a work burst, and shut your laptop when in meetings that you need to pay attention to.

Stop putting off your time off. Burnout is real. And the more burnt out you are, the less likely you are to realize it. If you notice that you are cranky, apathetic, or unusually emotional, you are probably burnt out. Everybody knows this is true, and yet somehow they think it is true for everyone but themselves. Start stepping away from work. Take your paid time off, even if you must check in an hour a day to stay relaxed.

One little change can make all the difference.  Use this stop/start list to identify a new habit for the New Year. Choose one thing and stick with it.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every other week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

But instead of looking at your goals and lining them up against the measures for success delineated by your company, I propose a different review today. Ready? Look ahead—far, far ahead. Think beyond your work achievements and consider your life achievements. My question is simple: what would you like to be remembered for?

Rarely does a person asking this question think, I’m so glad I hit 15% increased revenue generation each year! If they consider work at all, it’s more likely that they think of the people with whom they achieved that goal. And it’s very likely they think about those at home who benefitted from that success.

For most of us, life is about people. And at the end, reflections on life are recollections of people.

So, on the work front: will you be remembered for working with people, or for working people over? Will you be recalled as a developer of others, or one who mows them down? Will you have shared personal stories with your people and heard their stories, too? Or will they have just occupied roles at work? Will people know what you cherished and valued? Will people recall that you valued them?

The day in, day out behavior people observe in you informs them about you much more completely than an assessment filed away in HR ever would. As the aphorism goes: “People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

What will others remember about you? As the great poet Annie Dillard said: “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

How are you spending your days? How will you be recalled by others? Now is the time to make sure that what you do each day contributes worthily to a life well spent.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I had my first baby three years ago and now have another one on the way. I am an attorney in a New York law firm and the main breadwinner in our family. My spouse works from home and does the lion’s share of the child care.

As soon as I started showing and announced my pregnancy, the managing partner of our firm—who has been my mentor since I was a third-year associate—called me into his office and talked to me about going “mommy track” and not being serious about my career. He told me he was dumping me as a mentee and was going to find someone else.

I am tough, but it was everything I could do not to burst into tears. I had thought he understood my plans. I feel betrayed and I want to go back and confront him—but I’m not sure he isn’t right. I resent how much I am missing of our first child’s babyhood and am often jealous of my husband. I’m not sure what to do. Help.

Mommy Tracked?

Dear Mommy Tracked,

It is awful to be rejected by someone who you were sure had your back—and also to be questioning your own big plan on top of everything else. From a social neuroscience standpoint, your brain is on tilt right now. It is probably best to take a step back, think things through, and get yourself on an even keel before making any rash decisions.

Let’s start with the personal rejection piece. There are a couple of techniques you can use to lessen the emotional impact of what the managing partner did. If you are like most of us, ever since it happened you’ve been thinking about the things you should have said. Regrettably, this creates a loop that is self-perpetuating—the more you think about it, the more you think about it.

To reduce the emotional grip the conversation has on you, I have a couple of techniques you might want to try. The first is called labeling. To do this, you simply tell the story of what happened and label each emotion you experienced at each moment. For example: “When my managing partner started out with ‘I see you have another bundle of joy on the way, and I am disappointed in you,’ I was shocked at his rudeness.”

Another method is called distancing. You recount the events as if they happened to somebody else. For example: “She walked into the managing partner’s office expecting to talk about the holiday bonus and instead was attacked out of the blue. She was utterly dumbstruck…”

Now let’s address the ambiguity of your future, given that you are doubting your original plan. Uncertainty is very destabilizing so be gentle with yourself. I am not an expert in gender politics so I can only share my point of view here. Having been born at the very tip of baby boom tail, I grew up hearing the assurance that I could have it all: not just work but significant work that generated revenue—and romance and marriage, and children.

Having worked the entire time I raised my kids (who are now in their twenties), I found that women can have it all, just not necessarily at the same time. And not necessarily in all institutions. For example, if you want to have a front row seat to your kids’ childhood, you can be an attorney—but you may not be able to be a partner in a big NYC law firm. It has been my experience that moms who struggle to give 100 percent at home and 100 percent at work benefit most from doing what they love and are good at, in a way that offers them flexibility.

My point here is, now that you have experienced the reality of your dream, you may want to revise it and possibly shift your priorities. Let me be clear: I am not advocating the merits of one path over another. I am advocating that you choose your turn at this crossroads with your eyes wide open.

Take stock. Talk with your spouse about how you feel—just airing your feelings may reveal something important. You may decide to go the warrior route and prove yourself to your managing partner with renewed vigor. Or you may decide to make some changes to your plan. Either way, if you tell yourself and your spouse the truth as you are experiencing it right now, you will soon know what is right for you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

But actually measuring the impact of leader growth can be tough. For example, how does an organization measure the potential improvement of a leader’s influence on her team if she learns to stop belittling them? Or how a leader who elevates his executive presence will make a bigger contribution to the organization? Or how much improving communication will affect the profitability of a company?

Can the true impact of coaching be measured?

The answer is: it depends. Here are three key steps organizations can take to simplify the measurement process.

1. Be specific. What exactly does the organization want to change? Now be more If that change is successful, what will be the quantifiable outcome? Now put a dollar amount to the change.
2. Be clear with the leader/coachee about expectations. Specify the new behaviors and outcomes desired. It’s not enough to say improve communication. With whom? To what end? What would the improvement look like? What specific behaviors are necessary? How will the organization know that the change has been made?
3. Follow through. Engage appropriate people in the organization to observe and report on behavior change. An observer could be an HR business partner, a mentor of the leader being coached, a supervisor, or a member of the board. Ensure these observers are clear on expectations and outcomes. Provide tools, resources, and information on how to measure outcomes. Leaders need eyes and ears in the organization, as well as their coach, to help ensure changes made are on target to meet expectations.

The cornerstone of coaching is confidentiality—but this does not mean the leader being coached is left on their own to grow, learn, and develop without organizational insight. Being explicit on the front end about outcomes and ensuring all parties are in agreement about goals helps with measurement and evaluation when coaching is finished; i.e.:

• Here is the specific target that was set.
• Did the coachee meet the target?
• Has the impact of that outcome been observed?
• Has it been sustained over time?

Paying more attention at the beginning of any coaching engagement will make it simpler to measure and evaluate at the end.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

A core concept of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Situational Leadership® II model can help leaders and managers get over this hurdle by making sure that feedback is focused on a specific task or goal, not on the person themselves.

Focusing solely on the task will pinpoint the type of feedback that is needed and help to keep an individual’s personality out of the equation.

For example, managers who use Situational Leadership® II begin by setting clear goals with employees—they identify each specific goal or task and what a good job would look like. With these clear goals in place, during a feedback session the manager can provide redirection if they see a gap between the direct report’s development level on the task and the agreed-upon ideal.  Focusing on the task itself helps the manager determine what the direct report can do to move toward closing that gap. Feedback is then focused on finding solutions to close the gap instead of blaming or attacking the direct report.

There are many benefits to framing feedback this way.

• Feedback is more easily given, since it is not a personal criticism of the receiver. The giver can be specific about the goal or task and paint an image of the ideal that the receiver can work toward.
• Feedback is more easily heard. Instead of the receiver feeling they must defend their position or blame others, they are more likely to hear and appreciate the feedback. This improves the chance that they will make a positive change.
• Feedback presented this way fosters further dialogue. Giver and receiver can fully discuss the task and what a good job looks like so they can walk away with clear agreement of what that ideal is.  When both manager and direct report know what the target is, they are much more likely to partner together to hit it.
• Providing feedback this way has the receiver witnessing the giver being honest and direct, which often accelerates higher levels of trust, performance, and development.

Have you been avoiding a feedback conversation? Focusing feedback on goals and tasks lessens the pressure on both the giver and receiver.  We’d love to hear your thoughts on providing feedback this way!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Many are service oriented and find joy in helping others achieve their dreams. Some enjoy the entrepreneurial aspect of owning their own business and having the freedom to work with as many or as few clients as they desire. Still others work in corporate organizations and have been tasked with coaching others.

Regardless of why one comes to coaching, the mindset of the coach is the foundation on which great coaching occurs. Here are three fundamental coaching beliefs to ensure your best possible mindset.

Trust that the person being coached is resourceful, capable, and brilliant. A coach’s job is to bring forth those qualities so that the client can move toward achieving their goal.

Believe that people can change. Even those most resistant to change can grow and learn. It is the job of the coach to believe for the client until they can believe on their own.

Show up fully present and ready to engage. The people you are coaching are overwhelmed, tired, scared, excited, nervous, joyful, distracted—sometimes all at once! As a coach, how you show up can make a huge difference.

Even when these beliefs are present, how do you create the proper mindset? A little bit of self coaching can go a long way. Here are five techniques that can help.

1. Take a deep breath. Now take another.
2. Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up for my client today?”
3. Read your notes, remind yourself of what your client is focused on, and be ready to discuss it.
4. Greet your client with joy. Look FORWARD to coaching!
5. Say to yourself: “My client is fabulous. We are going to have a great coaching session today!”

Think of a coaching mindset this way: it is a perpetuating reality that you create for yourself. You get to choose what to think and how to feel. That mindset then becomes part of what makes you a great coach!

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Greene shares some of the key points from his book, beginning with the importance of self awareness—getting a clear sense of who you are, where you are going, and what motivates you.

From there, Greene discusses the importance of acquiring skills. He makes a strong case for an apprenticeship approach, where you focus on skill development above all else in your early years on the job. The goal is to develop the type of skill mastery needed in today’s specialized world.

Finally, Greene recommends developing a plan to fully leverage the skills you’ve developed.  Planning can be self-guided, though he does recommend finding a mentor as a great way to shorten the process.  The key is to take action, overcome fear and inertia, and learn how to experience failure and learn from it.

Overall, Greene provides an inspiring look at how to become the person you know you can be!

Be sure to listen to the very end of the interview, where Ken Blanchard shares his thoughts and takeaways.

Dear Madeleine,

I hate my job. I am just bored to tears. When I completed graduate school, I was recruited into what I thought was the perfect job for me—the job description was exactly what I was looking for. A year later, I am doing a ton of mindless administrative work and almost none of what was in the original job description.

I have tried to speak to my boss about this, but she says I need to pay my dues and that she will consider me for the next project that would suit my skills. In the meantime, my peers keep dumping their admin work on me.

I dread going to work. I have stopped going to the gym and I fear I am sliding into full-on depression, which I have a history with. It scares me. I would quit, but of course I have crushing student debt now. What do you think?

Bored to Tears, Maybe to Death

Dear Bored to Tears, Maybe to Death,

This is a terrible situation and I am so sorry. It must be really demoralizing to spend the money and make the big effort to complete an advanced educational program and then find yourself in a job that is killing your soul.

It sounds as if you are in a very bad way. Depression is no joke. I highly recommend that you find a therapist right now, I mean right this minute, to talk to and get some perspective. Given the details you provided, I suspect your company has an Employee Assistance Program and that you can probably get six sessions with a therapist. It will be totally private and will get you back on an even keel, back in the gym, and able to think straight. Exercise has been proven to be an excellent hedge against anxiety and depression, so get moving.

Once you have stopped the downward spiral, you will need to start an upward spiral. I hate to say it, but this probably involves looking for a new job. You may be able to make a go of it where you are now, but you would need to set a whole lot of boundaries and train everyone around you to see you in a new way.

Unfortunately, your boss and your peers have been getting away with treating you unfairly. I really don’t want to be mean, but people will continue unacceptable behavior as long as you allow it—and you have allowed it. Unless there was an upfront disclosure about having to pay dues with tasks that were not in your original job description, you seem to be the victim of some kind of bait-and-switch situation.

You didn’t say anything about salary, but I suspect they are underpaying you as well. And they will keep doing it as long as you put up with it. You may choose to have the hard conversation with your boss about how she needs to either upgrade all of your work assignments—now—or risk losing you. That conversation will go a whole lot better if you feel safe to leave, meaning you have another option.

The good news is that you have a graduate degree and a year’s worth of work experience under your belt. I think it is worth the push to brush up your resume and try hard to start over with a new organization and a new boss—who won’t take advantage of you because you won’t let them.

Get into action. In this order:

1. Get immediate help. Talk to a therapist, talk to friends, go to the gym.
2. Once stable, start applying for other jobs.
3. Use the new job possibility as leverage to fix your current situation; or simply walk away from people who do not have your back and go toward people who do.

It is really hard to stand up for yourself, Bored TTMTD, so you are going to need a lot of support. You are going to want to nurture your inner warrior. You might consider looking at Amy Cuddy’s work—her book is Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The validity of some of her research has been challenged, but that does not diminish the power of her experience and work helping people who feel powerless to rise to a difficult occasion.

I am glad you wrote. I am sorry you are in such a rough spot. Get help. Now.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I share this because I’ve been reading some interesting articles lately from the field of metaphysics. The research suggests we create our own reality by what we think. We conceptualize those thoughts in language. It’s the language I want to explore with you today.

In their book Crunch Time, Judd Hoekstra and Rick Peterson explore the concept of reframing. They tell an amazing baseball story about a critical moment where reframing made all the difference. In metaphysical terms, it’s simple: change your thoughts to change your world.

A few years ago, one of our Blanchard coaches was working with a client who was about to present in front of her board of directors for a high stakes project. She was terrified that she’d throw up, stammer, blunder, and maybe even lose funding for the whole project. Her internal language was squarely focused on fear.

The coach helped her client shift that internal language to create a new reality—one in which she was the most qualified expert to share with interested and caring people how a bit more funding would have a far-reaching effect. The coach encouraged her to envision herself after the meeting, chatting easily with board members, smiling, laughing, and happily answering questions.  As a result, her inner voice went from a screaming demon to an encouraging counselor.

It’s not easy to create a whole new universe. In fact, it can be a lifelong effort to shift the language of our inner voice and thereby shift what we believe to be possible.

So think about this: what might you ponder on, say to yourself, or ask of yourself to shift your universe and build your new and improved reality? Then practice, practice, practice!

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Here is what we’ve learned after coaching executives for more than 16 years.

Be specific—specificity is KEY.
In a recent analysis of 35 senior leaders, we found that less than 20 percent created SMART goals. When asked, most leaders could comment on what they wanted to achieve, but hedged their bets on outcomes and impact.

Link development to business strategy.
Blanchard Coaching Services ensures that at the end of every executive coaching engagement, the leader—with the support of the coach—takes time to reflect on what they have achieved during coaching; what they are most proud of; and how outcomes have influenced them, their people, and the business. Then we take it one step further by helping leaders craft a success story that can be shared with others in the company. The intent is to show that leader development has a positive impact on the organization.

Go back to the beginning: what is the purpose of coaching? What are the expected outcomes? How would those outcomes show up in terms of leader behavior? What will those behavior changes provide? To what extent will time be saved, cost be reduced, or quality be improved? What is the dollarized value of the changes? These are just some of the questions to be asked up front before coaching begins. The answers can inform what goes into the development plan.

A recent client example may help illustrate this concept. The executive’s intent was to improve relationships.  She had been unintentionally damaging relationships by not listening to what others had to say, and by seeming to make decisions in a silo.

Together we drafted a development plan. Item one: Improve relationships by listening more. Item two:  Improve relationships with three key colleagues.

Next, we mapped out some new behaviors we could measure.

• Listen 50 percent more in our weekly staff meeting. In each meeting, ask or say:
  • Say more about that…
  • What do you need from me?
  • What are the first, most important steps for us to take?
• Ask for feedback after each of the next four staff meetings:
  • What went well?
  • What should I have done differently?
  • What other recommendations do you have for me?
• Follow up on feedback by:
  • Thanking each person for feedback
  • Noting what actions I’ll be taking
  • Asking for support by saying “I value your input. Will you please let me know when I’ve hit the target or when I fall short?”

Finally, we identified the benefit of achieving the outcome:  Reduction in time to reach collaborative decisions by 25 percent and a time saving to the organization of 16 hours per month. Dollar value: $5000.00.

With this approach, my client could create a simple spreadsheet to tally each action. This also gave us a way to identify a hard evidence metric as a result of the development plan. Ultimately, the client will be able to determine the extent to which the time savings occurred and attach a dollar value to the outcome.

The benefits of doing this include:

• A way to quantify progress that the client was achieving desired outcomes
• A dollar value associated with outcomes that can be used to influence extension of coaching or even coaching others
• A measurement the client can use to determine if she needs to make additional changes

While measuring against a plan is essential for coaches working in a business setting, coaches in private practice may also want to consider how a well-documented development plan can increase the likelihood of the client achieving desired outcomes. That can lead to a stellar recommendation, which fills the business development pipeline.

Ultimately, a great development plan is a win for everyone. Take the time to develop a written plan for each of your clients.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Sincero shares how to stop limiting yourself and start focusing on your strengths.

Drawing on her own experience of personally trying and evaluating almost every self-help resource out there, Sincero recommends finding the approaches that work best for you and then taking action.  Don’t over-control the situation.  Have faith and trust that the “how” will take care of itself—even if it scares you.

As Sincero explains, “It’s never really the right time—but you have to decide and put yourself into motion.  Inside all of us is incredible potential.  Open yourself up to a new reality. It’s about rediscovering your true nature and tapping into the mother lode of potential available to you. That’s when you can start to make big, fat changes in your life.”

Be sure to listen to the very end of the interview, where Ken Blanchard shares his thoughts and takeaways.

Coaching yourself can be a challenge due to biases and assumed constraints.  However, by increasing your awareness of your thoughts and being intentional, you can coach yourself to positive outcomes. Here are six recommendations that may help you.

Silence is Key.  Set aside quiet times for yourself to deeply reflect and explore your thoughts.

Brain Dump.  Write down your thoughts.  Be honest about how you are truly feeling.  Don’t hold back!  Remember, you are only talking to yourself so be honest!

Identify Your Goal or Objective.  In your current reality, state what you truly want to accomplish or change.  Say to yourself, “In a perfect world, I want… or “If I could have it my way, I want…”

Create a Plan of Action.  The goal here is to move through the feeling of being stuck by answering the question “What am I going to do about it?”

Start Small. Identify a few actions you will take and give yourself deadlines.  Include what may block you from being successful and how you can overcome it.

Find an Accountability Partner.  Find a person or persons who can support you and speak to them about your goals and plan of action. Ask them to hold you accountable.

We all have times when we feel stuck and need a little help.  If you are unable to partner with a certified coach, remember that you can coach yourself to move toward thinking differently, consciously exploring your thoughts, and creating a plan. Use this six-step process to get started—and let me know how it goes!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In the case of leaders as well as learning and development professionals, it does seem like an awfully good skill set to have in the toolbox.  If that’s you, here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you begin to explore coaching.

Experience good coaching firsthand. Work with a coach and have an experience of what it is like to be a client. Working with an exceptionally capable coach will provide you with perspective and answer a lot of questions you might have.  You will learn what a coach really does and experience some coaching techniques firsthand.  Most important, you will get a strong sense of whether or not you want to provide that kind of service for others.

Take it slow and steady. If you do feel a strong calling to be a full-time coach, that’s great—but don’t quit your day job. It will take a while to get to a full practice that will sustain you financially. If you have never run your own business before, remember that that is an entirely separate skill set and the learning curve can be steep.

Get training. Being a really good listener is not enough.  Being an excellent trainer or facilitator is not enough. Consulting skills are not coaching skills. Being a psychiatrist or psychologist can be handy—but, again, coaching is a distinct approach and skill set.

Stick with certified programs. Certification is important now and will become even more so over the next decade. Find a training program that is accredited by the International Coach Federation. There are a lot of excellent programs; I cannot endorse one or another here. Your goal is to invest in a program with a proven track record and one that has the appropriate administrative structures in place. Once you find a program that appeals to you, ask to speak with a couple of former students.

Get focused. You will also want to explore what you want your focus to be. There are programs devoted to leadership, neuroscience, health and wellness, real estate sales—it goes on and on.  It is okay if you don’t have a specialty going in. Many programs provide a good foundation for lots of different specializations.  If you aren’t sure about what your niche should be, a good first clue will be the kinds of people you do your best work with.

Coaching is a great calling and coaching skills are useful to everyone—helping professionals, managers and leaders, parents, performance and sports coaches.  I encourage you to explore if you suspect this could be your passion. It would never be a waste to get training, even if you don’t feel a strong calling to be a full-time coach. If you do have your heart set on being a full time coach, don’t ignore the fact that this will mean starting your own business.  So, do go in with both eyes wide open.

I invite other longtime coaches who work in organizations to post in the comments additional thoughts they might have, and I am happy to answer questions as well.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Step 1: What is the goal? What outcomes do you want coaching to achieve? Is a behavior change required? Is a shift in thinking necessary? What exactly has to change? Being specific about outcomes is surprisingly hard for people. Earlier this year, we worked with an organizational sponsor to set up coaching for an executive. When we asked the desired outcome, the sponsor replied, “I’ll know it when I see it.” Needless to say, the target was constantly changing. Coaching is an exploratory process but it must be done with a clear target in mind.

Step 2: Prepare the person to be coached. This includes going over a set of expectations prior to the launch of coaching. Be sure to include expectations around feedback. Share that requests for behavior change will be made in a clear and specific manner along with discussions that ensure feedback is understood and acted upon. Discuss how to create the space for the person being coached to reflect how they might best use coaching and what outcomes they want to achieve.

Step 3: Stick with it. Discuss follow-up. Organizations often expect overnight results. Coaching does not replace the need for internal organizational support—in other words, the manager of the person being coached is not off the hook. In fact, this is a time for the manager to step up, lean in, and follow through. Set up a plan to recognize and acknowledge the growth of the coachee and then support that growth with positive and specific feedback.

Step 4: Gather success stories. Ensure your coaching interventions have some method or process to capture the successes brought about by coaching. Use a post-coaching interview process to capture the changes made and their impact on not only the person being coached but also those around her. Help the coachee to link those successes to business strategies or imperatives. Document the successes and leverage them as a way to influence others to take advantage of coaching.

Coaching will have an impact on people who engage in the process. Careful thought, planning, and follow-through can dramatically increase the effectiveness of coaching, which will pay off a hundred fold in your organization.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a new manager of a large team in retail.  The work is fast and furious and involves constant running around and heavy customer service.  I have no complaints except one.  How do you do your life when you work like a fiend with no coming up for air during regular working hours? 

My people are struggling with this, and so am I.  How do you deal with getting your refrigerator fixed, going to the dentist, and signing papers for a new apartment?

I try to jam things into my fifteen-minute breaks, but I find that just one phone call to the cable company takes longer than that.  I am trying to be a grownup and take care of things, but I am finding it really difficult.  Is there something I don’t know?  What do other people do?

Trying to Do Life

Dear Trying to Do Life,

Boy, do I hear you.  In my hunt for good answers, I have to tell you I came up with—not a whole lot.  People have all kinds of bright ideas about life/work balance but not many on just managing the logistics of life.

But I do have a couple of ideas for you.  The reoccurring themes you will see are to be hyper-organized, plan scrupulously, and get help.

• Figure out everything you want to get fixed or cleaned. Plan it way ahead and schedule all of it on the same day so that you can do it on a day off. Get your appliances serviced, get your carpets and windows cleaned, and get Amvets to show up to cart away everything you are getting rid of—all on the same day that you know will be your day off.
• Find service providers who work evenings and weekends. Cultivate your relationships with them.
• Make friends with a neighbor who has a different work schedule than you do and agree to be each other’s at-home-for-emergencies person. Or trade off with a friend.
• Check out sites like TaskRabbit to get extra help when you need it. You can hire a person to come and hang out at your house all day and manage the people coming in and out who are doing stuff.
• If you live in a city, use a messenger or courier service to get documents back and forth for signing.
• Use professionals—financial, legal and real estate—who offer digital signature capability.
• Use your lunch hour to get things done—it sounds like you might be skipping yours.

Also, I recommend that you don’t ever have kids and don’t ever get sick.

(Haha! Just kidding!  But not really.)

This is the part of your life where you learn how to manage all the dumb and boring but critical stuff that needs to get done before you add on to it with impossible stuff.  Seriously, the one absolutely non-negotiable job requirement for me once I had kids was flexibility—because my partner had none.  Someone in the house has to have some, or you just go nuts.

And I know you can’t really avoid getting sick, but you can reduce your chances by taking care of yourself. This means adding that to the after-hours list, no matter what it looks like.  It is my experience that people who manage to get it all in and build their future do not waste time on anything—like TV or mindless social media surfing—that has no added value.

Good luck to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Her email back to me: You clicked the correct links to respond. I checked the links as well, and I also logged into your profile to look for the comment notification. It appears that he deleted his comment!

She had come to a plausible conclusion that I hadn’t even considered! I am supposed to be a subject matter expert on self leadership, yet I fell prey to an assumed constraint. I held an assumption that I was woefully ignorant when it comes to social media and incapable of solving the problem. I let that belief limit my openness to another possibility—such as, the man deleted his comment.

We fall prey to insidious assumed constraints every day. The way we internalize facts influences our beliefs that shape our intentions, which ultimately leads to our behavior.

Virtually raise your hand if your manager makes more money than you do. Nod your head knowingly if your manager has more position power than you do. Now consider how these facts influence your beliefs about the workplace, shape your intentions, and ultimately determine your behavior—and your relationship with your manager.

• Comparing my manager’s power and income to my own, I may conclude: I don’t have the power or ability to affect change. This belief leads me to watch painfully as changes happen to me without my input or participation.
• I may believe that my manager should know when I need more direction for achieving my goal. This belief causes me to wait for her to provide me with an action plan and the resources I need.
• Even sadder, maybe I believe my boss should know what I need, but is so self-absorbed, she doesn’t even notice. This belief leads me to resent my manager and sabotage the relationship because I don’t trust she has my best interests at heart.

Assumed constraints are beliefs that limit our experience. Self leadership demands the acknowledgement, exploration, and reframing of assumed constraints.

Challenging assumed constraints by flipping them into statements that lead to positive action is an essential mindset of a self leader. For example, what if I took the assumed constraint about power and flipped it? I believe I have the power and ability to affect change. This statement is more likely to lead to productive behavior, such as proactive problem solving or selling my solutions.

The flipped assumed constraint also leads to an exploration of power: What types of power do I have and how can I use my points of power to proactively achieve my goals and make greater contributions to others?

Research provides evidence that self leadership competencies can be learned—and that organizations would be better served by focusing budgets and training employees on self leadership. But learning the skillset also requires cultivating a mindset to challenge assumed constraints, activate your points of power, and be proactive.

Thinking about my assumed constraint for responding to comments on LinkedIn, I take heart that I proactively reached out to a subject matter expert using my relationship power. I feel confident that the next time I find myself frustrated over social media (probably sometime within the next hour or so), I will challenge my assumed constraints by mindfully exploring solutions I wouldn’t have considered before receiving Kristin’s insight. Then, if I really am stymied, I will reach out for direction and support.

Self Leadership is having the mindset and skillset for getting what you need to succeed. For true self leaders, accepting responsibility and taking initiative for the quality of your work and life experience is a continuous pursuit of learning, growing, and achieving. It is the saga that never ends.

About the Author

Susan Fowler is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies and the coauthor of Blanchard’s new Self Leadership program.  You can learn more about Susan and The Ken Blanchard Companies at http://www.kenblanchard.com

Dear Madeleine,

I am a manager of a large team. I like my work, the mission of the company is meaningful, and we make a difference in the world. I have a reputation for being a good manager and getting things done on time and under budget. My boss, who is fairly new—and, frankly, in over his head—is constantly coming to me with new projects and never seems interested in the projects we are already working on. He says he trusts me to get it all done.

My problem is that the strategic direction and priorities are constantly shifting and I can’t keep up. I can’t possibly get it all done, and my team is maxed out. I am becoming demoralized by not really understanding the point of what we are being asked to do. I know I need to talk to my manager, but I don’t want to come off as a whiner. How to proceed?

Shifting Winds

Dear Shifting Winds,

This must be so frustrating. It sounds like you do need to talk to your manager and get some clarity on what to focus on and the timelines for each item. You appear to have a low opinion of your new manager’s capabilities—and you may be right about him—but you also don’t know what he is up against. Until you actually know what is going on, I’d suggest to start off by assuming the best of intentions.

In any case, definitely get a meeting on the calendar and set the context carefully. Make it clear to your manager that you appreciate his trust; however, there is more work here than can be done and you need direction in prioritizing the projects. Tell him that to set priorities you normally use your knowledge of the strategic focus for the company—but lately you have been confused about what that is and you need his help.

To communicate with your boss as effectively as possible, first you need to assess his style. Which do you think would work best: Charts outlining all of the different projects on a big whiteboard? An excel spreadsheet with all of the project plans? A presentation with a little bit of story? Your manager needs a quick and easy way to grasp all of the assignments you are working on and how many hours are needed to complete each project. That will help him see how overworked your team is and will help you make the case for getting another person on board to ensure you can complete everything.

Having each project visually represented might also make it easier for you to see the point of each one—but even if it doesn’t, it will make it easier to talk to your boss. You can explain that your people get inspired when they understand the reason they are working away at something. Most people—especially millennials, research is showing—want to know the context and meaning for their tasks.

Next, rehearse, prepare, and be succinct. You won’t be perceived as a whiner unless you actually whine.

You are going to have to stand up for yourself and your people at some point. Many managers are so overwhelmed themselves that they will just keep throwing work at their people until someone cries uncle. He may be waiting for you to do just that.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Freiberg shares how organizations need to find their cause if they are going to stand out in a crowded field.

Part of the process, according to Freiberg, is having employees reclaim their dreams–moving beyond just having a job to find something bigger and more fulfilling. And once becoming reacquainted with what’s engaging, she shares how to take a dream and turn it into action. The key, says Freiberg, is to find your personal WHY, in addition to your HOW and WHAT.

Freiberg shares how leadership development experts can help reignite this type of larger thinking using a three step process that includes: Identifying Your Why, Becoming Intentional, and then finally, Measuring Impact.

Be sure to listen to the very end of this 30-minute interview to hear Ken Blanchard share his key takeaways on the information Freiberg shares.

Listen to the podcast here: 

Dear Madeleine,

I am currently in an unfulfilling job. I also have digestive health issues that are not being resolved through diet and supplements.

I am a creative person and I long to travel. I currently want to leave my job and travel around the world to heal and to write about my experiences—a blog first, a book later.

But I have fears about financially surviving; about what will happen when I return from my travels; about my safety on the road; about not being able to get rid of my health issues; and even about how to write a book. How do I get past the fear and take the leap?

Afraid to Take the Leap

Dear Afraid to Take the Leap,

Oh, I hear your cry for freedom and it resonates deeply. But I’m torn between focusing on your fears and simply yelling “Go now before it’s too late!”

Obviously, I can’t tell what to do. Here is what I can tell you. You have a vision that leaving your job and traveling will be part of your healing process. You may think this kind of inspiration or calling is something that happens to people all the time. I can assure you this is not the case. In my experience there is a lot to be gained from heeding inner wisdom like this.

But there is no getting past fear. And while fear is designed to keep you from making stupid mistakes, the trick is to not let it also keep you from your heart’s desire.

All of your fears are well founded. Use them to help you prepare. Let’s take one at a time.

• Use your financial fears to ensure that you save up, sock away a reserve, and proceed frugally. Your worry about where you will land once you are done with your travels will guide you to set up some options for a soft landing.
• Safety on the road? Well, yes, that is reasonable; the world is frightening. Ask yourself what would make you feel safer. Finding travel companions? Taking a self-defense class?
• Your health problems may not be resolved; that’s true. The fact is that they may never go away, so you need to be prepared for that. But at least you know for sure that what you’ve already tried hasn’t worked. What can it hurt to try other things?
• Finally, you should be terrified by the idea of writing a book. I can tell you from personal experience that the only way to figure out how to write a book is to start writing.

There. Still scared? Sure you are. Because that was only the tip of the iceberg, right? The thing to do with fear is welcome it into your life. Make a list of every single fear you have and do everything you can to reasonably protect yourself from worst case scenarios.

Who knows what kinds of responsibilities you are going to assume in the future—spouse, children, aging parents? I always think part of my job as a coach is to work with people toward their having as few regrets as possible at the end of their lives. So maybe the question to ask yourself is Which choice would I regret most in five years: maintaining status quo or going for the big vision? There is a good chance that if you don’t seize the moment now for your grand adventure, you will regret it.

I am very much influenced by a lovely TED Talk that a friend shared with me recently. It is by Amy Krouse, a wonderful artist and writer who died of cancer last month at 51. Her talk is called “7 Notes on Life.” I wrote them down and taped them to my wall. The seven points, represented as notes on a musical scale, are:

• Always trust the magic
• Beckon the lovely (Amy said “I tend to believe whatever you decide to look for, you will find. Whatever you beckon will eventually beckon you.”)
• We are all Connected
• Do (take action)
• Cultivate Empty space
• Figure it out as you go
• Go to what makes you come alive

She did the talk in 2010, long before she knew that she would die of ovarian cancer in 7 years. I can only imagine that she lived by this code and sure was glad she did when it was all cut short.

You sound like a smart, rational person who would first prepare properly and then, in fact, be able to figure things out as you go. I always encourage my clients—and my children, for that matter—to keep moving toward the heat. But I like the way Amy says it: “Go to what makes you come alive.” How can that be a bad idea?

I am clearly biased on this one. It is my nature. That being said, if you decide not to leap, at the very least go find yourself a job that is fulfilling. Please let me know what you decide.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine

My question is: how does an organization scale their management team and keep skills sharp as they grow?  We are a software development services shop and we are growing fast—we currently have 30 people in management positions.

It’s getting more difficult each day to make sure everyone is managing from the same playbook.  We have seen many of our customers reach this stage and fail.  We don’t want this to happen to us.

Growing Fast

Dear Growing Fast,

Well, thanks so much for asking! How smart you are to notice the chaos out there and to be extremely intentional as you grow. I will try to keep this short because, honestly, the answer could be a Ph.D dissertation, and also because I need to keep this from being a long plug for everything we do here at The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Begin with the end in mind.  I have two words for you: Vision and Values.  Vision means that you know exactly where you are going and how you are going to get there.  The book to help you with this is Full Steam Ahead. Values means identifying what is most important to you in your culture and your employees.

A lot of lip service is given to values—but once an organization decides what they are and prints them up, they are generally forgotten. All you have to do to see what happens when organizations do this is to read the news. If you don’t want your employees writing blogs someday about what a nightmare it is to work for you, you can avoid it right now at the beginning of your journey.

The organizations that last and make it are the ones with values that are used to make decisions. You are still a small shop. You and the other founding leaders can get together and work to get crystal clear about where you are going and what is most important about how you’ll get there.

Next, you need absolutely solid operational leadership.  Jim Collins nailed it in his book Good to Great. Collins says you have to get the right people on the bus, in the right seats, and get the wrong people off the bus. This means keeping the people who can be aligned with the vision and values and who have the right skill sets and attitude to go the distance.  It sounds so stunningly simple, but I can assure you it is fiendishly difficult to achieve. It’s much easier to start with this idea rather than having to retrofit later.

Finally, you will want to absolutely bullet proof your day-to-day performance management—and I can say with confidence that our Situational Leadership® II model is what you need. Learn it and teach it to every manager in your organization, because it is a no-brainer.  Seriously, I managed people for a decade before I stumbled over it and thought, “OMG where has this been all my life?” I just can’t imagine how anyone manages people without it.  Well, actually, I take that back, you don’t have to imagine it—all you have to do is look around at all the terrible managing that is going on.

The fundamentals are:  it starts with crystal clear goals and tasks for each employee. Then the manager and employee work together to assess the employee’s competence and confidence on each task or goal.  From there the manager and employee identify the right mix of direction and support so the employee gets exactly what they need to win.  Finally, the manager and employee check in regularly to go over goals, tasks, and development needs so there is no confusion. As Ken Blanchard says, “Common sense, but not common practice!”

If you focus on these fundamentals, the good news is that you won’t have to be worried when it comes time for performance reviews.  As you probably know, many companies are getting rid of them—see our recent white paper here.

I suppose you were hoping for something a little less involved.  Sorry.  But if you have your company’s vision and values articulated in a way so that there can be no confusion, and if you have the right people in the right jobs and everyone actually knows what their job is, you will be ahead of the game.

The upside to getting all of this even kind of right is incalculable.  It will mean staying in business when your competitors flame out.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

But how does this really occur? Certainly not with the coach standing there, bullhorn in hand, yelling at the leader to stay on task.

Instead, the coach listens carefully to what really matters to the leader and helps the leader connect the meaning to the activity.

I’ll give you an example. I recently worked with two leaders in different organizations who needed to improve their expense report process. Each was frustrated by a system they saw as unnecessarily complicated and burdensome.

How did each leader determine the best strength to use to get those pesky expense reports completed? Through positive psychology coaching. Founded at the turn of this century, positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to:

• lead meaningful and fulfilling lives,
• cultivate what is best within themselves, and
• enhance their experiences in all aspects of their lives.

Through coaching, both of these leaders successfully addressed the process of completing their expense reports on time, but in very different ways: for one, it meant employing the strength of perseverance. For the other, it centered on the strength of gratitude.

Both of these strengths were identified by using the Values In Action survey. This is a scientifically validated tool that looks at 24 character strengths and rank orders the strengths of an individual through self-reporting. The VIA survey of character strengths has been taken by more than four million people and can be accessed here: www.viacharacter.org. Character strengths are positive personality core capacities for thinking, feeling, and behaving in ways that can bring benefit to oneself and others—not only at work but also in personal relationships.

The leader with the signature strength of perseverance used the fact that he takes satisfaction in completing tasks and applied that valuable perspective to his expense reports. The other leader focused on her strength of gratitude to get her reports done: she channeled her appreciation for the people who processed the reports as well as the gratitude she felt that her organization supported her travel as well as her training.

How about you? What would your day look like if you led with your signature strengths?

Leaders who purposefully employ a strengths-based approach show greater engagement in their activities including a sense of ownership and authenticity, a rapid learning curve as the strength is applied, and—key to the leaders above—an intrinsic motivation to use the strength.

If you develop the habit of consciously applying your strengths, I suggest you’ll find yourself fueled with a clean source of energy that is unique to you. Take the VIA survey and find out!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This guest post is by Doug Hung, Director, Blanchard Taiwan.

Every year, China conducts a nationwide college entrance exam for all high school graduates. The exam spans two days and covers Chinese, foreign languages, mathematics, and a student’s choice from one of the humanities (politics, history, geography) or sciences (physics, chemistry, life sciences).

Students are also required to write an essay to demonstrate their critical thinking and analytical capabilities.

In 2016 the national exam board provided a pair of portraits as the essay prompt. Students were asked to write an 800-word essay based on the picture.

In the top example, a student is shown receiving a perfect score of 100 and a resulting kiss on the cheek from a pleased mother, while the other student receives a below 60 percent failing grade with a resulting mother’s slap to represent disapproval. In the bottom example, the passing student scores 98 percent but doesn’t meet his mother’s standards, while the other student barely passes and gets an approving kiss.

This essay prompt points to a truth that is often overlooked when measuring performance at work—the subjective nature of measurement.

Corporations set elaborate guidelines for performance reviews, designed to promote and enhance meritocracy. Yet in reality, all systems have flaws—and when they are carried out by individuals, who have inherent bias, performance evaluations can often overstate or understate an individual’s actual contribution within the organization.

Every organization has both stars and laggards. We tend to shower stars with praise and opportunities; yet, as stars take on more responsibility, the likelihood of them making mistakes gets higher. Is the organization prepared to reward them or to criticize their failures?

On the other hand, oftentimes little is expected of low performers, and organizations are known to direct a substantial amount of resources to manage them. When laggards demonstrate initiative or spurts of excellence, teams seize the moment and shower them with praise in hopes of continuing progress. If an organization and its stewards really hold performance standards equally across all types of performers, all performance results should be treated equally.

Whether one believes management resources are better spent strengthening stars or improving low performers is a matter of debate. The reality is that managers do—and should—inject subjectivity into their evaluations.

The key is to recognize that performance reviews should be clear in definition but flexible enough to acknowledge the nuances that come with human interaction. Failure to do so undermines faith in the objectivity of any performing benchmark.

We all use metrics to measure others and ourselves. As companies continue to examine their performance review processes, we should remember that all metrics are ultimately references of an individual’s contribution. Performance reviews must be used to encourage people to excel. This can be done only through an approach that is objective, constructive, and judgment free.

I am a thirty-something woman who has just accepted a new position at a software company.  This job is quite a leap from my last one and the company has made it clear that they have big plans for me.  I love my work, it is interesting and fun, and I am really good at it.  

My husband also has a great job and is pursuing a PhD.  He and I both work ten- to twelve-hour days. We spend our extra time doing things we love—running, sailing, and getting together with friends.  We both have had weight and health issues in the past and have a high commitment to taking care of ourselves through exercise, eating right, and getting enough sleep. 

Many of our friends have started or are about to start their families.  The ones who have new babies have either dropped off the planet, or when we see them they seem stressed and exhausted.  Every working mom I talk to says she feels she is always falling short either at work or at home. Neither my husband nor I grew up under ideal circumstances and we figured we could do better.  We have always vaguely planned to have kids, but now we aren’t sure it is a good idea.  What do you think?

Kids or No?

Dear Kids or No,

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you would send me this question, although I have to say I am staggering a little under the weight of it. Obviously, this will be one of the biggest decisions you and your husband ever make.  The amazing thing is—and it is a fairly new development in human history—you have a choice. It used to be that children were something that happened and you just dealt with them.   But with choice comes responsibility, and nobody can tell you what to do. What I can do is lay out some things you want might want to consider as you weigh your options.

• Parenting is more complicated now than it has ever been, and you will want to know that you and your husband will always be a team. Everywhere you turn, you will be bombarded with advice—or worse, judgment—about the way you parent.  So every choice you make will be fraught with second guessing and doubt.  You and your husband will want to decide what your standards are for what good parenting looks like.  It will be important that you are on the same page for the big decisions like how much time you need to spend with your child, what spiritual tradition will you depend on, what would you do if your child had special needs. For example, if you are okay with leaving your child in daycare or with a nanny but your husband is not, that is a potential deal breaker right there.
• The person who will generally take the brunt of the parenting will be you, especially at the beginning. I spent two years at a big Wall Street firm and every female VP who had kids had a husband who had a lower impact career that allowed him to stay home full time, work from home part time, or at least get home by the end of the school day.  But then there are amazing role models like Sheryl Sandberg who made it all work with a husband who worked full time and is now—horrors—gone.
• Speaking of role models, are there good role models in your organization or perhaps in your professional association; i.e., senior women who have kids? You might talk to them about how they have done it and what they recommend.
• The whole parenting thing is made to look really magical and wondrous—the Christmas cards with the smiling mom and dad, two kids, and the golden retriever. And there are magical moments, but it is hard.  There is no guarantee that you will get one or two perfect children who are as gifted and delightful as you.  Serious wild cards get dealt that can really throw you for a loop.  My point is that your children automatically become an intensive spiritual development program, no matter how perfect and easy they are. You really have to be signed up for that.
• John Gottman, the foremost researcher and expert on marriage, tells of a deep dip in marital satisfaction when the kids come that lasts until the kids are out of the house. Some of the happiest people I know are people who have chosen not to have children.  Of course, the dark flip side is that the people who have the most regret are the ones who wanted to have kids and couldn’t.  So the thing I would say is if you aren’t sure, wait.  Freeze your eggs. You can always hire a surrogate if you wait too long.  You can adopt.  None of those roads are as easy as just going for it when you are young and healthy, but at least you will be sure.
• I grew up in the 70s during which the anthem was “you can have it all.” Well, that turned out not to be quite true.  My experience is that you can kind of have it all   If you have a good education and some career stability and support going in. If you have an amazing husband who really does share the parenting including the endless domestic chores. If you have unusual stamina, if you have a strong immune system and can function through stomach flu and rotten colds, if you can go for long periods of time without proper rest and exercise, if you have reliable and high quality help and support—either trusted family members or a high enough income to pay for it. For many women I would restate the anthem as “you can have it all, but maybe not all at the same time.” This is not generally what people want to hear, but in my experience it is the truth.
• If you have a child and continue to pursue your highest career potential you will, I guarantee, lament that you are never 100% at home or at work. I have felt that way for the last 27 years.  But I am not sure that is so bad.  A little dynamic tension away from home isn’t so terrible.  I always felt that my kids appreciated me more because they didn’t have me at their beck and call.  And I always did enough at work to make good things happen but I never became completely obsessed—which I may very well have, if I hadn’t had to walk out of the office every day at 6:00.  The most efficient workers by far are the working moms, because they are always on a deadline.

My mother always said that having kids was the best thing she ever did in her life, and I automatically thought that it also would be true for me—and it has been.  But you are going to want to talk to more people.  Just know this: you and your husband are doing the right thing right now by really questioning it and thinking it through. That way, when you do come to a decision, you will know it is the right one.

Good luck to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am a director in a global consumer goods company. I recently went through six months of coaching because my boss told me I was an excellent manager, but I needed to be more of leader.

The coach did a 360° interview process and uncovered some areas that I needed to work on. Together we developed a plan and then implemented it.

I adopted a whole bunch of new behaviors and made some real headway. At the end of the coaching, my coach and I created a list of things that had been accomplished. Then I discussed it with my boss and she seemed pleased.

Now, a few months after the close of the coaching, my boss told me she is disappointed that the coaching did not produce the results she had hoped for. She acknowledged that yes, I get things done (we had our best year ever last year), but I am still not reaching the mark. In addition, I will not get the promotion I feel I really deserve. My boss also said if they don’t see some radical changes in the next few months, they will eliminate my position.

I am absolutely stunned. I really thought I had been on the right track and now the rug has been pulled out from under me. What to do?

Stunned and Hurt

Dear Stunned and Hurt,

Well this stinks and I am so sorry. There are a lot of layers to this and I am sure I will miss a few, but I’ll do my best to be helpful right now.

Let’s start with the idea that your boss needs to see something radical or your job will be eliminated. I read that as your job is going to be eliminated and you should start looking for your next gig this minute. Don’t wait, and don’t try to guess exactly what the correct radical change is that would save your job. Based on the experience you just had, that will almost certainly fail.

Next, addressing the change of heart your boss seems to have had about the results of the coaching. I am afraid this is more common than you’d think and I have a hypothesis as to why that is. Many times we, as coaches at Blanchard, are tasked with coming in to coach one person who needs to upgrade skills and make some changes. We hate this kind of work because the manager/organization often refuses to be crystal clear about exactly which changes are needed or the serious negative consequences if the coaching participant is unable to make the changes.

It sounds like this has been the case for you. Yes, you made some changes, but apparently they weren’t exactly what your boss was looking for. It must have been a kind of “I’ll know the change when I see it” approach, and since she didn’t see what she was looking for, you are out of luck.

As for the changes you did make, it is my experience that organizations are like small towns, and no matter what you do or how you change, people are always going to see you as the way you were, not as who you have become or how you’ve grown. Many people need to leave the environment they are in to make the leap to the next level. It is just how it is.

Finally, what exactly was meant by the word leader? Was this ever made clear to you? Are you expected to become an inspirational, charismatic visionary? It is possible that your boss wants you to get a personality transplant—I can assure you everyone is highly unlikely to succeed at that.

I think you should pack up your excellent management skills and your ability to get things done (not to mention all of your new skills) and go somewhere where they need exactly who you are and what you bring to the table right now.

You can thank your boss for at least one thing: giving you a heads-up, which is a rare gift.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

It’s a common experience, explains best-selling business author Ken Blanchard.

“Nearly all of us have made a New Year’s resolution and then not followed through. Why is it that most New Year’s resolutions don’t work? Two reasons—the first is that accomplishing the goal is tougher than we thought.”

The second reason? “We rarely get help from the people around us,” says Blanchard. “People smile and say ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ and then walk away to let us tackle the resolution on our own.”

If you’re already thinking of giving up on your fitness goal, Blanchard urges you to first ask for help from a coach or a friend—someone who will help you maintain your commitment to your commitment.  Then apply this 3-step process to give yourself the best chance of succeeding:

Set clear goals. All good performance starts with clear goals. Blanchard recommends the SMART approach, along with a compelling reason that motivates you to achieve the goal. “I had set a goal to become fit many times,” Blanchard explains. “But this time, I found a compelling reason to get healthy: my puppy, Joy. I was just turning 70 when I got her. Knowing dogs can live 15 years or more, I decided I needed to stay healthy through my mid-80s, so not only would I be around for my family, but also for Joy. Most people worry about outliving their dog; I worried about my dog outliving me!”

Diagnose your current status. Once goals are set, the next step is to diagnose your development level on each of the tasks related to your goal. Blanchard explains that your development level is a function of competence (your skills and experience) and commitment (your motivation and confidence.)

“For example, let’s say you’re excited about learning to lift weights but don’t know anything about it. That makes you an Enthusiastic Beginner—you have no competence but high commitment. You’ll need a lot of direction. But when it comes to eating healthy, maybe you’re a Disillusioned Learner—you lack competence and you’ve also lost your commitment. You’ll need both direction and support in this area.”

Get the help you need.  The fact that you have different development levels on different tasks or goals means you need to find someone who can provide you with the directive behavior or supportive behavior you need for each task or goal.

Drawing on his previous example, Blanchard explains, “As an Enthusiastic Beginner on weight training, you need specific direction—someone to tell you exactly how to lift weights. As a Disillusioned Learner on diet and nutrition, you need both direction and support—someone who not only will help you learn how to eat right, but also will listen to you and praise you as you change the way you eat. Enlisting a partner who will give you the proper amounts of direction and support will keep you accountable and reap great benefits. If your partner also has a goal similar to yours, that’s the perfect match—you can keep each other on track!

Don’t Go It Alone

Few people can accomplish a major life change by themselves. Ken Blanchard finally succeeded when he asked for help to achieve his fitness goals. He turned to a friend, fitness expert Tim Kearin, for direction and support.

Kearin helped Blanchard establish goals and diagnose his current state in six key areas:

1. Aerobics
2. Strength training
3. Balance
4. Flexibility
5. Weight control/Nutrition
6. Sleep/rest

“The only aspect of fitness where I was an expert was rest and sleep,” laughs Blanchard. “I can sleep anywhere! So that wasn’t an issue for me.”

But when it came to both strength training and balance, Kearin identified Blanchard as an Enthusiastic Beginner—excited about the idea of getting stronger, but needing a directing leadership style.

“In terms of aerobics, flexibility, and nutrition/weight control, Tim and I determined I was a Disillusioned Learner. I had started programs in these areas at various times over the previous 30 years but hadn’t kept up with them, so I was frustrated. In these areas I needed a coaching leadership style—which means I needed direction and also caring support.”

With Kearin’s help, Blanchard was able to finally make progress in all six areas.  And at the conclusion of the journey they wrote a book together about the experience—Fit at Last: Look and Feel Better Once and for All.

How about you?  Struggling with fitness goals?  It’s not unusual.  Consider Blanchard’s approach.  You don’t need a personal trainer—just someone who is willing to work with you to help you set goals, identify your development level and what kind of help you need on each goal, and then take the steps to achieve those goals.

It’s all about managing your journey to health and fitness—and committing to your commitment—with a little help from your friends.

PS: You can learn more about Blanchard’s journey here: Fit At Last book page.

Dear Madeleine,

I am young game designer living in LA. I know I have talent and drive, and I have had some success. But there just doesn’t seem to be any hope for me because it is so clearly who you know, not what you know, that counts.

I see peers getting opportunities I should be getting but I just don’t have the connections they have.

I know I should be networking but I feel funny about doing it—and I just can’t stand all of the fake sucking up that goes on. What do you think?                 

—Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

You’re right—it is who you know. Career success will come to you as a result of your talent and work ethic plus your ability to create and nurture a strong network of relationships. That’s just the way it is. People like to work with people they know and like. And if they don’t know and like someone who can do a job, they will ask other people they know and like if they know of anyone who can do the job.

When I was a young actress in New York, I used to lament along with my friends that it was all about who you know. Nothing drove us crazier than the children of stars. Now I see so many successful people who had parents who worked in their industry. It often takes two or more generations to get someone properly positioned. Some professions are just that competitive. However, I’ve also seen the most unlikely success from people who had no connections or support whatsoever. So anything is possible, truly, with talent and hard work—and the willingness to connect to the people who are looking for exactly you.

What I am saying is this: if your success hinges on who you know, you’d better get cracking on getting to know people. Find networking opportunities that involve contests so you get to show your work. Get interested in others: decide who is doing work that is interesting to you and ask them for an informational meeting. Many will blow you off, but you’d be surprised how many people are inspired to help young talent. You have to play the “No Game”—set out at the beginning of each day trying to get as many “No’s” as you can. In many entry level jobs, this is done by cold calling. Is it hard? You bet it is! It depends on the industry, but in the New York theatre world the ratio was approximately 24 “No’s”—auditions, calls to agents and casting directors—for every “Yes.” Create a relationship map of all the people you need to know and create a strategy to move each of them from a stranger to a power fan. For an article telling you how to do this, click here.

Get clear about your goals and make them super specific. Tell them to everyone who will listen—you just never know where your break will come from. Identify the companies you want to work for and ask for an informational interview at all of them. Stay on top of their websites and apply for any job you can get. One young woman at our company interviewed for four different jobs before she got hired. She didn’t land exactly where she wanted, but she is making a splash and I am sure will get there shortly.

You don’t have to be a fake suck up, but you do have to figure out a way to be interested in others and find something to like about every person you meet. And you have to apply all of your analytical thinking and discipline to finding ways to stay in touch with people who interest you—and to keep them interested in you. If this sounds like a full time job, that’s because it is. And everyone has to do it: every person in sales, every person who has a regular job in a regular company, everyone who wants to do well and get promoted at their job. Everyone.

You may have heard that fortune favors the brave. In my experience this is true, but I would add that fortune also favors those who set specific goals and enroll others in helping them to achieve those goals. You can’t do it alone, so start building your army of fans right now.

I’m quite certain this is not what you wanted to hear. Nobody wants to hear that talent and hard work are not enough. But it’s true.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In the second, Ken identifies the three aspects of performance management—goal setting, day-to-day coaching, and performance evaluation—and identifies which gets the most attention (and which aspect is the most important.)

What’s the common thread that runs through both videos?  The importance of coaching.

Check out Ken’s message.  What’s your experience?  Share your thoughts below!

About Coaching Tuesday

Check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Or maybe you’re thinking about the goals you’ve set for your team or organization and you’re stressed out about how you’re going to actually achieve them. If your experience is similar to mine, you’ve set goals for the year only to look back twelve months later to realize what you accomplished bears little resemblance to what you set out to do. For most of us the challenge is not in setting goals. I mean, we’ve got a ton of projects and priorities on our plates. We’ve got goals aplenty! The difficulty lies in prioritizing goals and staying on track to get them accomplished.

There’s a better way to work toward achieving your goals and it’s called the Six by Six Plan – the six most important priorities you need to accomplish over the next six weeks. It’s a method of goal prioritization and execution I learned from Bill Hybels.

It starts with asking yourself one critically important and fundamental question: What is the greatest contribution I can make to my team/organization in the next six weeks?

In answering that question, consider the decisions, initiatives, or activities for which only you can provide the energy and direction. You will likely generate dozens of items on your list that will need to be whittled down to the six that require you to take the lead in order to deliver the most impact.

There is nothing magical in having six priorities over six weeks. What’s important is having a manageable number of goals to accomplish over a relatively short time period. It needs to be a few goals that allow you to keep your energy high and a short enough time period that creates a sense of urgency. Setting big, broad goals for the year is like running a marathon. It’s too tempting to get overwhelmed, distracted, or lose energy on goals that seem so distant. It’s much easier to run a series of sprints by focusing on just a few key priorities for a short amount of time.

I think it’s important to emphasize the 6×6 method is a helpful tool for goal prioritization and execution. It’s not a way to set goals, which is an art and science unto itself. Check out this YouTube video of Bill Hybels describing the Six by Six Plan. Hopefully you’ll find it as helpful as I did.

(Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.)

So, now is a perfect time to take a moment to reflect on exactly that. There is an excellent structure for this that I have been using with clients for more than twenty years. I am pretty sure I didn’t make this up, but I don’t remember where I got it. What I did not anticipate when I started doing this exercise was the long term value of having these annual records. You think you will always remember everything—but I guarantee that is not true. The world is moving much too fast and we are processing so much information that making a record of your year is a wonderful gift to give your future self.

The activity must be done in writing and the structure is simplicity itself: you merely make a list of the following things:

• What went really well—what were my wins for the year?
• What did not go so well—what mistakes did I make and what were disappointments this year?
• What/who am I grateful for?
• What do I want to pay attention to in the next year?

That’s it. I recommend you start the document and then add to it over a short period of time—say a week. You will be surprised at what you have already forgotten that will bubble up.

There are a couple of ways to get even more out of this, but these are strictly for bonus points:

• Ask your significant other, best friend, or children to do the same exercise and then set aside time to share your lists.
• Pick up the phone and call, email, or text each person on your grateful list.

Happy New Year!

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I have not once in my life kept a New Year’s resolution. And yet, here I am once again thinking about all I want to accomplish and feeling demoralized. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? How can I be successful this year? Does anyone ever succeed at sticking to a resolution? Help!

New Year’s Loser

Dear New Year’s Loser,

I am glad you asked this question because I have an explicit opinion on this topic. There is a lot of research on New Year’s resolutions. You can Google it—but for all intents and purposes no one really sticks to New Year’s resolutions. Okay, maybe 8 percent of people do, but my guess is that’s even a stretch. The whole thing is a nasty set up to ensure we all start the year feeling terrible about ourselves.

I say, let’s cut it out. No goals in 2017. None.

NO GOALS for 2017.

Wait. What? “That’s crazy!” you argue. “I have to set goals or I will never achieve anything and I will wake up in three years sitting in this exact chair with this exact life.” Not true. Life has a way of carrying you along and will provide plenty of occasions for you to rise to. And you will rise to these occasions by committing to becoming more effective, nicer, better organized, or by learning something new.

Life will provide you with many reasons to change. You will lose weight or go to the gym when you get sick of not fitting into any of your clothes or when your doctor says you have to. You will quit that terrible habit (smoking, running late, watching “Real Housewives” shows) when you are so compelled that you will get help from any possible corner—your family, your friends, a support group, a clinic, or all of the above.

The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that we always choose the things that are hardest to do—the stuff we have already failed at, often several times. So now we are actually conditioned to fail at those things.

The only way to change that mindset and break the pattern is to set New Year’s resolutions that are fun and easy. Seriously. Some of my most successful resolutions have been exactly that. For example:

• Never stand in a line if I can help it
• Drink good champagne any time I get the chance
• Spend a minimum of five minutes a day rolling around on the floor with my dogs

You will set a goal to do something new, different, and difficult when you are good and ready to do it and not a moment sooner. In the meantime, find something fun and easy to commit to in 2017. Easy means, well, not hard. Effortless. Something that is literally so easy and pleasant that you will actually do it.  And only one thing. I mean, you have enough going on.

Try it. Win at your New Year’s Resolution this time. And do it again next year. Do it every year. You won’t believe how this can add up to a life filled with joy, amusement and pleasure. And really, what more could we ask for?

Happy New Year and Love,

Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

How about you? Is there anything about yourself that you want to change for the better in 2017?

If so, here are some suggestions I picked up from Ken Blanchard about keeping my commitment to my good intentions. I know they will help me.  See if they might help you also.

1. Write your goals down. Research shows that people who write down their goals accomplish significantly more than people who do not write their goals. As Ken shares, “In the working environment, writing goal statements is a common practice. However, many times when people are setting personal goals, they think about what they want to do but they don’t write anything down.”
2. Review your goals on a regular basis. Ken suggests reviewing goals each morning and reflecting on how you did each evening. “Give yourself the gift of thinking about your day for a few minutes. What did you do during the day that was consistent with your resolutions, and what got in the way?”
3. Ask others to help you stay on track. We all need help accomplishing our goals. Find an accountability partner—someone you can check in with on a regular basis. “Accomplishing the goal is usually more difficult than we think it will be, yet we rarely ask for help from others who can support us. Be systematic about checking in with your helpers. Set up a specific time each week to talk about how you are progressing. This can be as simple as a ten-minute phone call or even a quick text.”

In 2017, I will be more patient and loving, and will embrace the curve balls life throws my way. I won’t sweat the small things in life and I’ll trust that the big things will work themselves out. I plan to be more centered on who I am, not on what others think of me. I’m not interested in being someone else’s perception of what they want me to be. I want to be a better version of myself.

Okay, step 1 accomplished—writing goals down—now on to steps 2 and 3!

Why don’t you take a minute to reflect over the year and ask yourself who you will be in 2017.

Now take your first step!

However, encouragement and recognition shouldn’t be a once-a-year event—it ought to be a leader’s constant mindset, according to Ken Blanchard, management expert and coauthor of The New One Minute Manager® and Leading at a Higher Level. In Blanchard’s opinion, the most effective leaders focus on serving the needs of their people all year long.

Blanchard’s belief is that organizations run best when leaders at all levels see themselves as servant leaders. As he explains, “The best leaders turn the organizational pyramid upside down so that they are at the bottom of the structure, serving their people who are at the top. The leaders provide support, remove obstacles, and act as cheerleaders. They are there to serve their people—so that their people can better serve their customers.”

The good news is that leaders at all levels can serve their direct reports at an individual, team, or department level. Blanchard explains a step-by step process.

Get clear on goals. “All good performance begins with clear goals. Make sure that individual, team, department, and organizational goals are clear and written down so that they can be seen, communicated, and referred to frequently. Goals are too often unclear, poorly communicated, not written down, or never referred to until performance review. “

Discuss competence and commitment. “Managers must sit down with their teams to discuss what’s required to achieve each goal. In Situational Leadership® II we teach that people approach each new task or goal from one of four development levels: the Enthusiastic Beginner, where an individual is excited but inexperienced at the task; the Disillusioned Learner, where an individual becomes discouraged; the Capable but Cautious Performer, where an individual has some experience but still needs occasional support; or the Self-Reliant Achiever, where an individual has a track record of success. It takes time to make this diagnosis at the beginning of a task or when setting a goal, but it will save time in the long run by avoiding misunderstandings, motivation issues, and rework.”

Match your leadership style. “Depending on a person’s development level on a specific task or goal, the leader provides a matching leadership style—either by Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating. The objective is to provide the direct report with the correct amount of direction and support to get the job done while avoiding over-supervision or under-supervision. This is the essence of servant leadership. The focus is on helping direct reports achieve their goals.”

Blanchard encourages leaders to practice a servant leadership mindset with direct reports every day, not just at year end. “Your job as a leader is to help your people succeed. Set clear goals with them, diagnose their development level on each goal, and then provide them with the direction and support they need to achieve those goals. It’s the best way to serve your people—not just now, but throughout the year.”

You can read more about Blanchard’s approach in the December issue of Ignite!  Also check out stories on two companies putting these concepts into practice with great results—CHG Healthcare Services and WD-40 Company.

The same can be said about professional growth and development. If you want to master new information or develop a new skill, simply knowing that something is important won’t result in growth or change. You have to define a developmental plan and then take action.

Whether personal or professional, setting a goal for growth and then taking action on your own is easier said than done. Most people benefit from the support of others when they decide to make a change.

Managers are in a great position to offer this much needed support to their direct reports—many of whom already have either a formal or informal development plan for themselves.

If you are a manager, here are a few suggestions you can make to your direct reports to help them progress toward their goals.

1. “Link your development to your job.” Suggest they thoughtfully consider how their learning and development goals will specifically make them more effective at work.
2. “Practice what you learn.” Have them identify one or two behaviors they want to hone and think of where they can practice those behaviors on the job. For instance, they could practice during one-on-one meetings with you or in weekly team meetings with their peers.
3. “Keep your development top of mind.” To stress the importance of their growth, regularly touch base with direct reports around their progress. Ask them to set a specific date by which they will share a success story with you on how they successfully implemented their learning.

Being someone’s support system doesn’t have to take a lot of time or effort—after all, the person you are helping is doing all the heavy lifting! That said, letting a direct report know you care about their growth and development and cheering them on can make a huge difference in their success.

Are there opportunities where you can help someone grow? If so, try the ideas above and let us know what impact they made!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the manager of a large group of service professionals. Earlier this year, I was inspired by a management book to set goals with my people and then give them the autonomy to decide how to achieve them.

It sounded good on paper, but here we are at the end of the year and not a single one of them has done well on their goals. As a result, I have given them all less than stellar ratings on their performance reviews. They are all surprised and upset with me.  —Confused

Dear Confused,

Managing people is complex, and managing high level professionals is maybe even more so.  So I checked out the book you shared and I think I know what went wrong.  You gave people goals and the autonomy to figure out how to achieve them—but you seem to have missed the rest of the steps outlined in the book, which go something like this:

• Work with each employee to identify actions that will be most likely to move them toward achieving their goal.
• Create a visible scorecard that shows both you and the employee how they are tracking to their goal.
• Meet weekly to review progress, brainstorm obstacles, and inspire the employee to stick with the plan.

In other words, you should give people enough autonomy that they feel like they own the goal—but not so much that the goal falls off the to-do list without anyone noticing.

There a lot of reasons people don’t achieve their goals. The most common ones are shockingly simple:

• They didn’t really know what to do or how to do it
• They didn’t really want to do it
• They didn’t think it was a good goal
• They didn’t think it was that important and prioritized other things above it
• They had too many other things to do
• They simply forgot

That last one is my personal favorite because it has happened to me.  I sat down with my manager to review the year and he asked how things went with a project we had discussed some months back.  I was appalled to realize that I had forgotten all about it and had done absolutely nothing.  I was lucky to have an understanding manager who also took some responsibility for the fact that we hadn’t talked about it since that first discussion.

Just think, for a moment, about what competes for our brain space on any given day.  Anything that actually gets done only does so because of relentless attention and focus to ensure that it does.  Otherwise, the goal might as well not exist.

I am sorry you are now in the position of feeling like the bad guy.  I recommend that you not give your people a bad rating on this part of their review—and that you take responsibility for essentially setting them up to fail.  Try the same approach this year, but include the part about working with each person to identify action steps, build the scorecard, and have regular reviews to check progress and offer support.

I’m certain that when you incorporate the additional steps, your people will come through with flying colors.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Why are some changes in life scarier than others?

Contrary to what you may think, I am more scared about coming back to my work role after maternity leave than I am about having a baby. Crazy, right?

Perhaps not so crazy. A few universal lessons about change might help to explain why my feelings are perfectly reasonable. I’m going to try to remember these in the midst of all the change I will be experiencing—and maybe they can also help you with change that is going on in your life.

Change is easier when it is planned. I wanted this change and I have had nine months to get used to the fact that this baby is coming. I have adequately researched what I need to do. And while I know things don’t always go to plan, I’m as prepared as I can be and I have a reasonably clear vision of the future. I am sure the experienced mums and dads reading this are smiling—and I know the reality will be challenging—but the thought of this change isn’t scary to me.

Providing a clear vision of the future is paramount. We aren’t always given a clear picture of what life will be like after a change. A clear vision—at least as clear as is reasonable—can help temper the unknown and make people feel more relaxed about the proposed change.

Don’t expect things to be perfect. No one wants to fail—and change that brings the possibility of failure can be even more daunting. If you are the one implementing the change, remember to let people know that everything may not go right at first. Sometimes we have to fail in life to succeed.

Step into the process. It’s hard to embrace change if you feel you had no part in the process. If a change is imposed on you and things start happening quickly, you may feel as if you have no time to think. This would be scary to anyone. What can you do? Take a step back and ask yourself a question: How can I influence this situation?

Use time wisely. The right timing is important. Give people enough time to digest the change and vocalise any potential pitfalls or concerns. But don’t let it go on for so long that the change loses momentum. You want people to have enough time to get ready, but not so much time that their enthusiasm fades.

As I prepare to step into this new chapter in my life, I am aware that planning for change is very different from living through the change. Every change is different and every person has their own perspective. Remember to break down the change process and analyse each stage. I know I will—and I look forward to sharing my experiences with you when I return from maternity leave.

When you find yourself in a leadership failure or debt, here are a few things you can do to get out of it:

First, own your leadership debt. You dropped the ball; you made a leadership mistake. It might have been a personnel decision, an ill-timed comment, or a lack of action on a situation that required your attention. Take responsibility.

Rebuild one step at a time. Attack the highest impact issues first. If people perceive you as a low-trust micromanager who can’t let go, start there. Begin with baby steps—don’t try to fix things overnight. Decide to first give small projects to your direct reports that they can handle and that you are comfortable with them managing. Start small and work on it over time. Practice giving clear direction and support.

Don’t repeat the mistake. This may sound simplistic, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is for some leaders to change the bad habits—lack of communication, mistrust, poor listening—that have stunted their leadership development. If needed, find someone who can help you be accountable.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore your leadership debt. Many leaders spend time blaming others for project deficiencies and low quality work. Frustration leads to complaining and then often to bitterness directed at the workgroup. No one wins in this situation and the problem still lingers.

In the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Surprisingly, while meetings should include discussions about goals and objectives, it’s not happening as often as it should.

Survey participants were polled on a wide variety of issues related to one-on-one meetings—including frequency, duration, and topics discussed.  In three key performance management areas—goal setting, goal review, and performance feedback, respondents identified a serious gap between how often they discussed these topics versus how often they wish they were discussing them.

Here are some of the key takeaways:

Goal Setting Conversations—Some 70 percent of people want to have goal-setting conversations often or all the time, but only 36 percent actually do. And 28 percent say they rarely or never discuss future goals and tasks.

Goal Review Conversations—Some 73 percent of people want to have goal review conversations often or all the time, but only 47 percent actually do. And 26 percent say they rarely or never discuss current goals and tasks.

Performance Feedback Conversations—Some 67 percent of people want to have performance feedback conversations often or all the time, but only 29 percent actually do. And 36 percent say they rarely or never receive performance feedback.

IMPLICATIONS FOR LEADERS

The performance management literature is clear on the importance of setting goals, providing feedback, and reviewing performance on a frequent basis. How is your organization doing with helping managers get together with direct reports to set goals, provide feedback, or discuss direction and support where needed?

If people haven’t been meeting as regularly as they should, use this survey data as a starting point to encourage managers and direct reports to schedule their next one-on-one soon. People want and need to have conversations with their immediate supervisors. It’s one of the foundations for strong, productive relationships that align people with the work of the organization in a satisfying and meaningful way. Don’t wait—your people and better performance are waiting!

*Learn more about the original survey and view the complete results by downloading the Blanchard white paper Are Employees’ Needs Being Met by One-on-Ones?  Also check out Blanchard’s brand new look into The Problem with Performance Review, just released this month.

Want to share the infographic?  Use these links to download a PDF or PNG version.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a VP of sales for a global software organization. I love my job, which is good because I work constantly and have for the past 25 years. It has been rewarding and I have saved enough to be able to think now about maybe slowing down. I have been discussing retirement with my wife and she is excited to have me around more and to travel, visit our kids and grandkids, etc.

My boss recently shared with me that he wants to groom me to take over his job. I was absolutely surprised by this as I never imagined I would be even as successful as I am, let alone considered for the senior leadership team.

This has sent me into a tailspin. I am just a sales guy. I never completed my degree because I did so well at my first sales job, which I had taken only to pay for college. At that point I was married with a kid on the way; you know how that goes. The next thing you know, 25 years has flown by.

All the people on the senior leadership team have MBAs from fancy schools, drive fancy cars, and go to fancy places. That just isn’t me. I don’t see myself being able to relate to these people—and I know my wife would not be comfortable with these folks. I haven’t even told her about this possibility because I know she will be disappointed at the prospect of the shift in our plans. It would mean, I am sure, ten more years of my working like a dog. Also, I don’t see myself as particularly strategic; I don’t know how I would add value to that team.

On the other hand, what an opportunity! I am trying to think this through logically but am barely able to think straight. Help?

In a Tailspin

Dear In a Tailspin,

Wow. As problems go, this is such a wonderful one! And I know how overwhelming this must be, so I don’t want to minimize that. I can offer you a plan for tackling this decision that will hopefully set you up to be at choice. This is a coaching term we use to express the process of looking at the whole picture, understanding what you can control and what is most important to you, and then choosing what actions you will take to achieve what you most want.

1. The first order of business is to establish what you want. Right now it is about what your boss wants (a successor) and what your wife wants (more time with you). Just because you never dreamed something would happen doesn’t mean it isn’t possible—and this magical thing is happening for you now. The question is: do you want it? Right now you can’t even access your own voice because it is getting lost in the noise of your fear. So let’s address that.
2. Face your fear: You say you are “just a sales guy.” Sales is arguably the most valuable competency in any organization—after all, there is no business without customers. People who are good at sales are astonishingly good at relating to other people. And successful sales leaders are excellent at directing and supporting others to do the same. Of course you are strategic—you don’t get to be VP in a global software company if you aren’t strategic! Because you are unclear about your strengths, you might want to ask your boss what it is about you that makes him think you should be promoted. That would help you understand what he values in you and get you past the notion that you are simply a regular guy who is lucky.
3. Stop focusing on the past: Let’s talk about this story you are telling yourself that everyone on the leadership team is too fancy for you. Cut it out. This is just complete hogwash. Maybe a couple of them have some made some fancy lifestyle choices, but that doesn’t make them different from you. I have worked with enough executives to know that almost to a person they are not only grateful for the opportunity they had to be educated but also still pinching themselves at their luck. Most of them know they aren’t better or much smarter than anyone else and many suffer from imposter syndrome. Almost everyone who achieves a position in senior leadership feels as if they don’t quite measure up for some reason and don’t quite belong. So you didn’t finish college. So what? Your boss doesn’t care. Maybe some other people will; but you can’t control that. Trust that you will be able to leverage your people skills to find something you have in common with each and every one of them, and trust that your wife will be able to do the same if she knows it is important to you. People are just people. You know that. So stop putting them on a pedestal.

To cut through the noise here, take yourself out for a long walk and ponder these questions:

• What is interesting or exciting to you about this opportunity?
• Are you signed up for the learning curve it would entail?
• Which of your strengths would you be able to leverage?
• What kind of an impact would you be able to make on the organization?
• What would you be able to accomplish?
• What would you have to give up to avail yourself of the opportunity?
• Are you willing to do that?

Once you have some clarity about your answers and decide you want to go for it, you can have a serious sit-down with your wife. If she is as eager to spend time with you as you say, she probably still actually likes you, is your best friend, and has your back—so I suspect she will be willing to support your quest.

Finally, I want to challenge your assertion that accepting this job would mean you can’t travel and visit your kids and grandchildren. Possibly the real opportunity here is for you to get creative—find a way to achieve undreamed-of success at work and have more space and time for your family. This is the ultimate senior leadership challenge, and you seem to have enough going for you that you are probably up to it.

Breathe deep, my friend—and congratulations!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I think a more accurate characterization of this generational group is what I now call the inbetweeners—those who have been stuck in a bubble of transitioning out of school, trying to build a career, and eventually getting into management. They are caught in between navigating a tough economy, getting work experience, and paying off student debt.

The new mantra for inbetweeners? Death, taxes, and student debt. Or, as Wall Street has nicknamed them, the HENRYs: High Earner, Not Rich Yet. Whatever characterization you want to make, let’s make one thing clear about inbetweeners—they got this! And they need your help!

Here’s my passive aggressive approach to help inbetweeners muddle through this in-between life stage.

The first theory: It’s not your fault.

The economic collapse and great recession had nothing to do with your life choices. You inherited a business landscape mired with corruption from the banks—and your once needed college degree doesn’t hold the weight it once did. Your curiosity to learn led you past the typical business major or pre-law approach. You dabbled in various programs, maybe even changed majors once or twice, and ended up six months from graduation knowing that the internships you were applying for wanted two to three years of direct experience. How did that happen?

At graduation, your parents asked what your plans were and you said, “I don’t know—California sounds nice.” To them, that meant you didn’t have a plan—or you didn’t know what the heck you were doing. The first probably wasn’t true but the second definitely was. No companies called you back, you didn’t have a lifeline, and even your well-to-do uncle had nothing for you at the shop. You tried. The breaking point was when your grandpa suggested you go door-to-door like he did, telling all the companies you are a hard worker and you never give up. To him it showed moxie, grit, and some maturity—like his eagle forearm tattoo.

The second theory: It is your fault.

Most of the working world buys into this second theory, thinking the Inbetweeners have no one to blame but themselves. And they’re right. It is your fault. Did you have to be a general studies major? I know the classes were easier and you got to choose things you were really interested in, but what are your transferable business skills? I know the out of state college that accepted you was everything you wanted, but is being $50K in debt for an undergraduate degree really worth it? Maybe some of your life choices didn’t equate to successful business skills and outcomes. For those who have been irked by these realities, here are some hilarious comebacks by the inbetweeners who recently hijacked a Twitter hashtag.

Although some of you have been settled in your role for a few years and are now looking toward the new challenge of management, chances are you haven’t been properly trained to manage. Maybe you have a degree from an Ivy League School—maybe even an advanced degree. Maybe your mom told you that you are the best and she still loves you. With all this going for you, how does your employer not notice you? You’ve even said “Put me in coach, I’ve been playing left bench for too long.” You just want a shot.

Perhaps you should take a second and think about that jump. A recent survey says that 51 percent of inbetweeners are in formal leadership positions but most of those aren’t prepared to take over a management job.  For those who can’t wait, there is some good news.

The latest data released on CNN shows that median income in the US just increased for the first time since 2007—the year before the great recession started. The stronger job market is starting to translate into higher wages and more opportunities for growth and management within organizations. Now it is more imperative than ever to establish those management capabilities. That starts by developing sound decision making skills, earning trust by completing tasks, and collaborating across departments to get work accomplished.

Developing true managerial and business skills before you jump into management will more likely ensure a long and successful career. You’ll get your chance. Just make sure you are ready when your name is called.

In it, Angela writes “Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it.” She elaborates on the two components of grit: passion and perseverance. Grit is more about commitment, endurance, and consistency over time than it is about talent.

Grit is needed to accomplish goals—especially stretch goals—and to change behavior. When I first started thinking of people who have grit, I thought about the TV shows Spartan Race and American Ninja Warrior. The participants and athletes in those competitions must have grit in order to fail and come back again and again.

Grit also applies to Olympic athletes. Consider the grit displayed when a young girl commits at an early age to be one of the best gymnasts at the Olympics—like Simone Biles and Laurie Hernandez on the 2016 US Olympic Gymnastics team.

In another way, grit can come into play when we are coaching clients toward achieving their goals. It begins with helping them create a SMART goal they are passionate about that will cause them to stay committed and consistent over time. For example, a client had a goal to take a situational approach to leadership in order to create a high performing team.

We discussed the passion and motivation the client had to become a situational leader. We also discussed his perseverance and commitment to intentionally flex his leadership style regardless of high pressure situations. The coaching lead him to  increase his commitment by creating a structure to remind himself to flex his leadership style, identifying accountability partners, and asking for regular feedback from his team. Over time, the client increased his grit to be a situational leader—and subsequently increased his success.

Could a rediscovery of your own grit level help? You can apply grit principles to your goals by answering these questions:

• What is the motivation for this goal?
• Is this a goal that will stand the test of time?
• Are you passionate enough to remain committed if you start getting distracted by other ideas or goals?
• What will cause you to hold steadfast to this goal?

I think you’ll find that when you increase your level of grit, you’ll set yourself up for success—just like my client.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Sometimes when things don’t go my way, I need a reality check—and I ask myself a few simple questions.

What do I want from my job?

Six years ago I took a Situational Self Leadership course. One of the questions was What do you want from your job?  My top 3 answers were interesting work; promotion and growth within the organization; and good working conditions. Ask yourself the same question.

Everyone in my group had different answers—and supervisors did, too. Your manager is not a mind reader. Tell them what you want from your job. If they can’t or won’t help you achieve what you need, think about who else can help.

Do I have assumed constraints?

When circus elephants are babies, they aren’t strong enough to break free from the chain around their ankle that connects them to a stake in the ground. By the time they reach adulthood and could easily break the chain, they have given up trying. Why? Because they assume they can’t, based on past events. Has this happened to you? Have you stopped trying because something didn’t go your way in the past? Don’t let assumed constraints hold you back.

Am I still leading my one to one meetings?

One to ones should be led by the direct report, not the manager. Are you going to your one to ones with agenda items you want to discuss, or are you being told what to discuss? Step into your one to ones prepared with answers, solutions, and recommendations. Lead the conversation and become empowered and autonomous.

When we get knocked back in life, it is really easy to resign ourselves and just do the day to day. I find that the above questions really help empower me to strive for more.

What do you do that makes you a self leader?

Hi Madeleine,

I work in the health profession and I’ve just accepted a position in management at a new facility. I don’t know the staff at all. All I know is that the senior leadership wants a change in the management at the facility.

What advice would you have on how to tackle a new job at a new place with a heavy agenda? What should I do first???

 New Healthcare Leader

Dear New Healthcare Leader,

Well, congratulations! Isn’t this exciting? It sounds like you have a great opportunity here! I can’t tell from your letter if the facility is new overall, or if it is just new to you. If it is actually new, this could be good because you won’t have the burden of history—it can be hard to make changes when it’s “always been done that way.”

If it is just new to you, you will need to spend some time asking questions and listening to understand the culture of the organization. Working with people to change things begins with understanding and meeting them where they are.

In terms of change, you will want to press senior leadership to understand what exactly the prior management did wrong, so you don’t repeat those mistakes. If they won’t tell you, it was probably something illegal, immoral, or both. I imagine this won’t be a problem for you.

What they must tell you though is what a good job looks like. This answers the question, “How will you know you are successful?” You say “heavy agenda” but you have to make sure you know what it really is. Ask them for crystal-clear goals, and if they don’t provide them, come up with your own and present them for approval. Some senior leaders simply don’t have the skills or the patience to articulate the vision or the goals of the organization, so if they won’t do it, do it for yourself.

Once you have your goals set, work with your people to get their goals super clear. Also, spend as much time as you can getting to know your people and assessing their strengths. Work with each of them to ensure that their goals leverage their skills, interests, and talents.

Once everybody knows what they are supposed to be doing, make sure they are getting the proper direction and support they need to do it. Make sure everyone, including you, has a short-term goal that they can achieve so that you all have the experience of early success together. Share stories of any and all wins. People will remember stories and it will feel good.

Finally, we have a lot of books here at The Ken Blanchard Companies, but the definitive one on this topic is not by Ken or any of us. It is The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins and I have worked through the book with many clients. Google it, read summaries, and be sure to look at the templates of what to do in your first 30, 60, and 90 days. I highly recommend it.

Best of luck in your new role!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Did he think I was fat? Did he not love and admire my beautiful self anymore? Or was it something else entirely?

Turns out he saw how hard I work, putting long hours in the office and then even more hours in the evening, all sitting at a computer. He’s read the studies about sedentary lifestyles and has been thinking about being an empty-nester.

Turns out he wants to spend time with me doing fun things that are going to take some physical strength—like hiking Half Dome in Yosemite!

Constructive feedback can be hard to give and hard to receive. Here are 3 ways  to make giving feedback a bit easier.

Be aware of your own feelings and intentions. Are you angry? Frustrated? Worried that your feedback will derail the receiver? Nervous about giving feedback? There are lots of reasons we avoid giving feedback—and our own mindset plays a big part in how the feedback will be received. Be aware of this and manage it effectively. Trust me; my husband would never say “You look fat in those jeans”—but he does notice if I complain about being out of breath when I take a quick walk around the block with the dog.

Here are 3 lines to say to yourself in preparation for giving feedback.

1. Describe your feelings about the upcoming feedback: “I’m feeling…”
2. State how you want to feel: “I want to feel…”
3. Be clear about your intentions: “I’m giving feedback because…”

3½. (Bonus tip): take a couple of deep breaths before the feedback conversation.

Be authentic. Yes, it’s an overused word, but that’s because it’s effective.  Even though feedback isn’t all about you, your feelings and thoughts do play a critical role in the conversation. My husband bought the membership but never said “Hey, let’s plan a romantic getaway to Yosemite. I want you to enjoy it, and I’m concerned that right now you won’t be able to.”

Share what you are feeling, but sparingly. Try variations of these 3 statements:

1. “I care about you, and I’m a bit (feeling) about giving you feedback.”
2. “I want (desired outcome) for us in this conversation.”
3. “I think (a thought about  giving feedback).” Example: “I think this feedback will help us work together more effectively.”

Listen, listen, listen. The person receiving feedback may have an emotional reaction. They may want to process their feelings by explaining context, or they may just need to talk through the feedback.  Ask these 3 questions—and follow with deep listening.

1. “Can you say more about that?”
2. “If you were to do something differently in the future, what would it be?”
3. “What can I do to help us avoid this in the future?”

When I didn’t act excited about the gym membership, my husband was surprised—until he listened to my thoughts and feelings about it.  The more he heard from me, the more chagrined he was.  His ability to listen gave us the opportunity to have a really great conversation. Now we are on the same page—and Yosemite was fabulous!

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Essentially, the first order of business when you set out to work with a coach is to establish where you are right now: Point A. This requires a cold, hard look at your current reality.

Next, figure out the place you want to end up in the not-too-distant future: Point B. Your coach may start with the question What will be different in six months because of the changes you are about to make?

Once you are clear on Points A and B, you and your coach can put together a plan. When creating the plan, it is important to choose areas where change is actually possible—you want to set goals that may require you to stretch but not ones that would require a personality transplant. This is what’s called “reaching for low hanging fruit.” You can’t ask a chicken to climb a tree. Ask yourself: What can I do—maybe with a little extra direction and support—that makes sense for me?

During the conception of the plan, your coach will help you figure out not only how to leverage your strengths and stay engaged, but also how to choose goals that feel fun and exciting to you. You will gain some clarity about your weaknesses and learn to mitigate them and work around them. You may decide to shore up an area in which you are weak—but I recommend working on only one weak area at a time. Better to leverage strengths.

As the coaching sessions progress, you’ll find yourself stumbling over some attitudes or beliefs that have been holding you back—blind spots, if you will. You’ll think through and perhaps shift some long-held perspectives. Finally, you’ll uncover some new emerging strengths you can build on.

When the coaching is drawing to a close, you will review with your coach everything you have accomplished and what you have learned along the way. This will reinforce changes you have made and highlight new habits you have established.

In the crazy rush of everyday life, it can be really hard to stay focused on the stuff that is important but not necessarily urgent. Ultimately, that is what coaching will help you do.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Most organisations have mission statements—a clearly defined and articulated purpose to focus energy and help leaders make decisions.

But what about a clearly defined and articulated personal purpose? While most of us have some idea about what we want to do with our lives, many of us don’t have a personal mission statement.

This is an important concept. A personal mission statement harnesses energy and enables us to have a greater sense of well-being—especially if we can connect our personal purpose with our department’s purpose as well as our organisation’s purpose.

Let me give you a personal example. In the mid-nineties while I was in the Royal New Zealand Navy, I attended a Situational Self Leadership training session. As part of the workshop, I spent some time developing and refining my life purpose statement. It required reflection and effort, and eventually I came up with a statement that felt right:

“My life purpose is to use my knowledge, skills, and abilities to work with others in order to create an environment in which people feel valued, content, and fulfilled as they contribute to society.”

Creating my purpose statement was just the first step. In order to leverage and maximise my personal and professional alignment, I printed out the statement, put it into a picture frame, and placed it on my desk. This was a very important second step for me. When it came time to make significant career decisions, I would look at my purpose statement and ask myself What course of action will best help me fulfil my life purpose? 

The framed statement was a great reminder—and it helped immensely when I had difficult decisions to make, such as changing roles and up-skilling in support of training and development. It was an area that fulfilled my purpose more than the operational role for which I was initially selected.

How about you? Have you identified a clear sense of where you want to be, or is it more of a general idea? Why not challenge yourself? Develop a purpose statement for your life. Then align your role with that of your organisation, reflect, and make adjustments as necessary.

I’ve long since left the Navy and am currently a director and consulting partner with Blanchard International New Zealand. In part, I can trace my journey here to the decision I made years ago to identify, write down, and reflect daily on my life purpose statement.

Your future is waiting for you. Don’t wait. Take the first step by writing down your personal mission statement. You never know where it will lead!

About the Author

David Cordery is a Company Director and accredited Consulting Partner with Blanchard International in New Zealand.

Dear Madeleine,

I’m a general manager at a big consulting firm. I’m doing well and I’ve been working with a coach for about four months. My biggest issue is although I’m on track, I don’t yet have a win under my belt.

I’m involved in some big deals and my peers would say I’m adding value. My concern is that my boss—and his boss—may not see the direct link between the work I’m doing and how it puts our firm in a position to win more business.

I’m afraid my time might be running out. My coach suggested I sit down with my boss and renegotiate agreements about what I’m doing and timelines to success. I’ve tried to do that, but am not getting any clear specifics from him. Any suggestions?

My Time is Running Out

Dear Time Running Out,

You seem a little paranoid.  Big wins at consulting firms take a long time to build to. I can’t believe your boss wouldn’t be aware of that.  Have you seen other people let go because they didn’t have enough wins? What evidence do you have that makes you feel so on edge? If you don’t have any and are just feeling insecure, I would say you need to stop obsessing about this and focus on the work.

If you do have legitimate reason to worry, though, I have an idea for you.  If your boss isn’t giving you specifics it may be because he hasn’t articulated what a good job looks like—or he just figures he’ll know it when he sees it.

The big consulting firms tend to be driven by metrics, so find a way to communicate what you are doing in terms of a scorecard. Build a report so that you can share with your boss on a regular basis—weekly or biweekly—all the different things you are doing, but in context of the potential deals you are working on.

Anyone with experience appreciates the amount of time and hard work that goes into landing deals. You might organize your report into activity by potential client. You could even build a little gauge that shows how much closer you are to closing business because of your activities.  If your firm used some kind of CRM system, your boss probably would be using that to track your activity.

The best you can do without an actual contract to show for your hard work is to make a consistent case for the value of your activities.  This way, your boss will have a clear view of your progress and you won’t have to worry about him wondering what the heck you are up to all day.

Good luck,

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

The time has now come. The infamous London to Brighton ride is upon us this Sunday, the 19^th of June. The bike is ready to be transported to London. The padded shorts are laid out on my bedroom floor. I have a race number and a start time. It’s all become very real.

I’m part excited and part nervous. I know I must be prepared to go though four inevitable development levels on Sunday:

Stage 1: Enthusiasm

I’ll have my brand new padded shorts on, along with my bright pink cycling t-shirt. The bike will have pumped up tyres. The crowds will be gathering at the start line bright and early. And I’ll be ready to go! How hard can this be, right? This is the first stage of my journey. I’m convinced I can do it and the crowds around me will be fuelling that self-belief. Loads of people do this ride every year. I’m sure I’ll whizz along the course and be in Brighton by lunch time! Lots of enthusiastic newbie cyclists like me will be there, starting the day determined and confident.

Until we cross that start line.

Stage 2: Disillusionment

With my legs pushing hard on the pedals, I’ll be out of breath and sweaty while battling against the swarms of other cyclists on the road out of London. Seeing the mile markers count down the route will be off-putting. I know my thoughts, even now: Forty-four miles to go? Still? How have I only done 10 miles? The signs must be wrong. It’s a trap! I’ll be tired and miserable. I also love food, so without a doubt by this point I’m bound to be hungry too (or even hangry—a word that is now officially in the dictionary). Despite my positive start, I’ll begin realising that I’m probably not going to do as well as I thought I would. Everything in my being will be telling me to give up—but something inside me will recognize the need to keep pushing for success. It will probably be the knowledge that I’ve raised money for charity—The British Heart Foundation—and the thought of how many lives this challenge might save. However, a little support from the seasoned cyclists I’m riding alongside wouldn’t hurt. This is the stage when I’ll really need their encouragement to keep me going.

Stage 3: Improving

At this point, I’ll start accepting how I’m getting on. Sure, my seat will be starting to hurt a little, my legs may burn, and I’ll be running out of bananas, but it’s okay because the mile markers will be counting down. I won’t give up. I’ll settle into the ride and find my own rhythm. I’ll look back at what I’ve achieved so far, and I’ll know that I can finish the last little piece. I’m getting the hang of this! Maybe I’ll do London to Paris next! Okay, maybe that’s taking things too far—but it will be clear to me that my confidence and ability are growing stronger with each circle of the wheels. I know there are some large hills on the route, though, and this makes me nervous. I’m going to keep relying on the support of my team to help me get through those hills—but by now I’ll be feeling a lot better about things.

Stage 4: Confident and Competent

This is the stage where euphoria really starts to build. The last few miles are all downhill, so it’s bound to be an easy ride from this point. Having made it this far, I will be confident in my ability to go the distance. I will mentally review what I’ve achieved and feel assured of my competence at cycling. I won’t need anyone to tell me to push the pedals anymore, or to tell me I’m doing great—because by now I’ll feel great about my progress. (An occasional cheer from someone in the crowd might still be nice, though!) I think this must be where they put all the photographers en route—because capturing the grins on cyclists’ faces as they head toward the finish line is the best photo opportunity!

Recognising these stages is the key to my success. The people on my team are all far better at cycling than I am. I’ll need their help to guide me through each of the development levels. I can’t do it alone. I’ll be looking to them for the right amounts of direction and support as I pedal along the route.

Knowing about these four development levels is applicable in far more areas of life than just a race. Whether it’s learning to drive a car, starting a new health and fitness program, or leading a project team at work for the first time, anyone can identify these four stages in any task or goal they seek to accomplish. With the right leadership and self-leadership, you, too, can progress through these stages toward the achievement of your goals.

Editor’s Note:  Jemma will be riding the 54-mile London to Brighton Bike Ride 2016 this Sunday together with six Blanchard colleagues to raise money for the British Heart Foundation.  Want to help the cause? Click here to contribute

And while it’s good that we’ve made progress, we still need to keep moving if we truly want to leverage what the new science of motivation is teaching us.

In the June issue of Ignite, Susan Fowler, best-selling business author of Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work…And What Does, explains that individuals bring one of six motivational outlooks to any goal or task they face.Three of the outlooks correlate to positive, long-lasting, and consistent energy for getting a job done—and three don’t.

The three positive optimal motivational outlooks are

• Aligned. This is where an individual derives a sense of meaning from the goal or task, is able to align the task with important personal values, and is making a conscious and deliberate choice to do the right thing.
• Integrated. This is where an individual is motivated because the goal or task fulfills a deeply felt sense of purpose or is regarded as a self-defining activity.
• Inherent. This is where an individual perceives the goal or task as pure fun and enjoyment.

The three suboptimal motivation outlooks are

• Disinterested. This is where an individual feels overwhelmed, cannot find value in the task, or doesn’t have the energy to manage what’s required.
• External. This is where an individual is primarily motivated by the promise of a tangible reward or incentive, or the expectation of increased power, status, or respect.
• Imposed. This is where an individual is motivated by pressure to perform by either self-expectations or the expectations of others. Their actions are an attempt to avoid feelings of guilt, shame, or disappointment.

Fowler explains that looking beyond a simple extrinsic/intrinsic model of motivation creates additional choices and gives leaders more options to help facilitate a shift to a better outlook. Her approach is to teach leaders how to have conversations that help others identify the reasons for their motivation. The result is higher quality motivation that is based on meaningful values and a noble purpose.

Fowler is quick to point out that this kind of shift is more than a theoretical idea—it is a practical enhancement that makes the application of other leadership skills more effective.

“A strong foundation in motivation science elevates traditional leadership skills,” explains Fowler. “For example, consider the benefit when you combine traditional goal setting with a motivational outlook conversation about achieving the goal. These conversations give managers an opportunity to help people find relevance, meaning, and deeper connection to their goals. Skipping over the motivational outlook conversation or jumping to a problem solving or action planning conversation with people when they are suboptimally motivated on the goal, problem, or plan usually leads to suboptimal results down the road.

“People work best when they are pursuing goals for high quality reasons. Ask people questions that help them connect their goals to their values and sense of purpose. People who make this connection don’t just perform at a high level and achieve their goals—they flourish.”

You can read more about Fowler’s approach to workplace motivation in the June issue of Ignite.  Also, be sure to check the information about Fowler’s upcoming webinar on Leadership Skills: Applying the New Science of Motivation.  The event is free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

People need a big container—a mind that is open—to grow. A small container—limited thinking—inhibits the ability to receive and learn new information. In order to succeed, you must develop the right mindset to enlarge your container so that you can fill it with new information, skills, and possibilities.

For example, I recently worked with a coaching client who was trying to figure out if she had what it took to go after a VP position. During our coaching sessions, she expressed a lack of self-confidence along with other assumed constraints. The client doubted herself—and her negative thoughts were limiting her possibilities.

I coached my client to take a second look at her beliefs. Were they accurate? I also asked her to identify supportive beliefs that could lead her toward her goal.

Thinking it through, she realized she did have the experience and the transferable skills to step into a VP role. As far as steps she could take to address specific areas where she needed work, my client identified two executives she would ask to be her mentors.

During our coaching journey, I observed a shift in my client’s mindset. She went from a negative feeling about herself to a positive, confident attitude regarding her capabilities to move into a VP role. She could see a personal vision for herself and the steps required to become a VP. The size of my client’s internal container was expanding as she considered ways to absorb new knowledge, skills, and behaviors. She was on her way to pursuing her goal!

How about you? Do you need a little extra room to grow? Here are three tips for changing your mindset and enlarging your container:

1. Question your assumed constraints. What are you assuming is true about your current capabilities or about the situation? Re-examine your reality, experiences, and capabilities. Reflect on what is causing you to hesitate.
2. Examine your mindset. Which of your beliefs is causing self-imposed limits and an unsupportive attitude? Change your internal talk from negative and cynical to positive and encouraging. Recognize you have a choice!
3. Reshape your outlook with a specific vision. Where are you headed? Identify a clear and precise goal. Create an action plan. Commit to the challenge of accomplishing the goal.

Don’t let a limited internal container stifle your possibilities. Remember, your thoughts drive your behavior. Open your mind and create a bigger container—one with room for new information and skills—and a positive mindset to succeed!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a newly promoted senior VP of sales for the North American division of a medical devices manufacturer. My boss is a new COO brought in from the outside. He lives in Germany and I live in Colorado, although I am on the road constantly.

I’ve met this guy only once and he shared almost zero information about himself. I went to LinkedIn to find out more, but there’s not much information there, either.

I have no idea what his plans are for sales—all he told me is to keep the numbers up and it’s all good. I don’t have a clue how I am doing in his eyes. I’ve asked for feedback but his response on the last monthly report I sent him was—I am not kidding—one word: “Good.” What should I do? The silence is killing me.

Need Feedback

Dear Need Feedback,

Welcome to senior leadership—the land of no feedback. You’ve heard it’s lonely at the top? This is why. The only feedback you may get is how your people are doing vis-a-vis goals. Everything else you’ll have to provide for yourself.

Just like you, your new boss has a big new job and he’s trying to figure out how to win. You’re keeping your numbers where they need to be, so right now you’re the least of his worries. I would say the fact that you got a response at all is positive—and the response itself is probably high praise coming from someone who plays his cards that close to the vest. You are a warm, extroverted communicator; he is a private, introverted, analytical type. Don’t take his style personally.

What exactly are you worried about? Did your old boss give you a lot of feedback? If you need to know how well you are doing, check in with your people. Ask them what you could do more of or less of. Ask them what they think you should start doing or stop doing. Ask them if there is anything they think you should know. Ask them what you could do to help them be more successful.

If you need more affirmation, develop a relationship with your counterparts in other regions. Build your network of peers so that you have a sense of how you are doing in relation to them. It’s not that I am big fan of comparison per se, but this will give you at least a bit of a reality check.

Finally, do anything you can to spend more time with your new boss. Include him in your travels. Show up at any and all leadership team meetings. Keep communicating with him, and keep up the good work. And relax. When he has feedback for you, you’ll hear it.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In a paradoxical twist, as it seems to always happen, she had some amazing insight that has helped me understand my value both professionally and personally.

She told this story:

In the 80s my father was invited to interview at a well known Wall Street firm. He said the interview went well. As they were wrapping up, he felt that they may be on the fence and he wanted to close the deal.

So at the end of the interview he said, “Here’s what I’ll do. I will work for free for you for 90 days, and after 90 days, if you don’t think I’m worth it, you can let me go.”

And that’s exactly what happened.

He worked at the firm with no pay for 90 days—and then they let him go. 

He was stunned.

So he went back to the executive team and asked, “How can you let me go after I delivered on every single aspect of the job? I did everything you asked me to do and worked really hard to prove myself to everyone.”

After hearing him out, finally one of the executives said, “We are letting you go because, if you don’t know your worth, we don’t either.”

If you don’t know what you are worth, either professionally or personally, someone definitely will tell you. My friend and I were discussing salary, but the value of knowing your worth transcends work and relates to all avenues of life. What would happen if you truly evaluated your worth? What would you do differently?

Know your worth. Know who you are. And don’t apologize for it. Go out and be you, and dare others to stop you. You’re worth it!

My client expressed reservations about goal setting. In the past he had articulated a vision for what he and his business would accomplish, but then a lot of interesting things happened that resulted in his taking his business in a completely different, wonderful direction. He said he didn’t want to be penned in.

And you know what? I totally understand that. When I first learned about goal setting, I had the same reaction: so many of the extraordinary things in my life seemed to happen by magic.

But since I learned about goal setting, I have accomplished much more than I could have imagined. And I have seen the way the universe seems to line up behind people who communicate a clear vision and set specific goals to get them moving toward its realization.

So how to deal with this feeling of being hemmed in?

Well, first, set big goals. If your goals are big enough, there should be no reason to feel hemmed in by them. James Cameron says “If you set your goals ridiculously high, and fail, you will fail above everyone else’s success.” This has certainly been my experience.

For example, I set a goal to write and publish a New York Times bestseller. So I wrote a book and got it published. It was not a New York Times bestseller, despite the best efforts of my co-author and me. But I wrote a darn book. And got it published. That is so much better than not writing a book.

Second, if you still have the feeling you might be limiting yourself—or the universe—there is a little trick you can use to manage that feeling. I learned it from my colleague Cheryl Richardson.

Next to each goal that you create, write: This, or something better.

This statement acknowledges that, although you take full responsibility for creating great things in your life and are the captain of your own ship, you are open to any ideas and assistance that may come your way. It opens the door for happy accidents and pleasant surprises. It means you don’t always have to have all the answers—that answers sometimes come from somewhere else.

I cannot explain why it is so, I just know that clarity of purpose and action are rewarded. Confusion and inaction are not. So set an almost-ridiculous goal—and then say This or something better. Get moving. Anything is possible.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Running is part of my life. It’s what I do.

But lately I’ve encountered a problem: I haven’t been running.

When I’m training for a race, I run three times during the week and then have a long run on the weekend. There’s no doubt my friends get bored of me cancelling plans in favour of “Sunday Run Day.” Even when I’m not actively training, I like to keep my fitness level high and run at least twice a week.

But I’ve been struggling recently. I’ve probably been out on some shorter runs, perhaps going twice in the last month. As a result I’m trying to understand what is stopping me from lacing up my trainers and taking that step out of the front door.

• Work has been busy. (But I could definitely spare time to go out for a short run each day—I’d just need to get up a little bit earlier.)
• I’ve had a lot of plans with friends. (But I could easily find a balance between working out and going out.)
• I need some new trainers. (But the old ones still work.)

I haven’t got any real excuses not to be out pounding the pavements; I simply can’t be bothered. I can’t find the motivation. I just don’t want to.

I’ve registered for some races in the second half of the year. I can’t wait to start training for these races, but I’m procrastinating, because I have lots of time between now and then. Whilst being registered for a race is a short-term motivational push (simply because I fear being the last one panting across the finish line), the races aren’t enough to keep me running the rest of the time. The promise of a medal and a finisher’s t-shirt is an exciting reward, but it’s not enough to push me all the time.

I’ve found myself slipping away from running, and I find myself at a point now where I’m simply disinterested. I’m prioritising other commitments, and I’m not leaving myself with enough time or energy to go for a run. I’d rather be doing something else. I simply don’t care.

That can’t be right.

Look at my opening paragraph. I’ve already said that being a runner defines me. If I am to find the motivation to run again, I need to remember what makes me want to run. I need to remind myself why I love running.

I started running at university. I took a law degree, so after a day of reading textbooks, I decided I didn’t want to stay inside, and I found that running became an escape. I could go out, and use it to digest everything I’d read that day; or to think about things that weren’t law. It was my freedom, and my thinking space.

The more I ran, the fitter I became, and with that, I found that maintaining that fitness was important to me. Plus, if I ran, it meant that I could eat more (and anyone who knows me, knows I like food—a lot!)

I started tweeting about running – yes, I’m one of those annoying people, but everyone knows if you don’t share your workout on social media, it basically doesn’t count – Twitter opened the door to my first Marathon. I trained, and it became an addiction. I chased the miles; the times and the personal bests; and I learned to love the ache in my legs.

Running became part of me. I wasn’t running because I had to. I was running because I loved how it made me feel – it cleared my mind, it meant I could eat loads of cake kept me fit, and I just enjoyed doing it. It became an integrated part of my life.

The key to getting myself back to enjoying running again is to remind myself that in running I can demonstrate important values of fitness. I can derive that sense of fun and enjoyment and continue to feed my natural love of challenging myself.

The end-of-race medal is a great goal to work towards—but if I’m to keep running, I need to find a kind of motivation that isn’t external. It’s not because of the promise of a piece of “race bling.” It’s because the only person who can fully motivate me—is me!

Most leaders stink at setting goals.

Why? It’s pretty simple actually: We confuse tasks with goals.

To illustrate my point, take a look at these statements and see if you can determine which are goals and which are tasks:

1. Reduce my body weight to 182 pounds or less by March 3.
2. Find two friends to exercise with by January 15.
3. Keep a food journal for the next 30 days to track my caloric intake.
4. Exercise 3-4 times a week for the next six months.

You may be wondering why it’s even important to distinguish between goals or tasks. After all, if stuff is getting done, isn’t that what matters? Well, you can be productive in accomplishing a lot of tasks, but if those tasks aren’t connected to accomplishing goals that positively impact the organization, then you’re spending your time focused on all the wrong things.

Here are a few key points on how to tell the difference between goals and tasks.

Goal Statements

A goal statement describes the desired outcomes to be accomplished by an individual within a specific time period. The outcomes set standards for quality, quantity, timeliness, cost, or percent of change required. An effective goal statement includes the elements of: Achieves…Outcome…When.

The “achieves” portion of the statement should include at least one strong action verb. The “outcome” describes the result of different, repetitive, or accumulated activities or provides a range of acceptable results. The “when” includes a specific date or timeline that allows you to know when you’ve accomplished the goal. Statements 1 and 4 above are examples of effective goals.

Task Statements

A task statement outlines steps of activities that should be completed in order to achieve a goal. Usually, these statements will contain a set of steps that must be followed. The task is how specific outcomes will be reached. An effective task statement includes the elements of: Performs Activity…How.

The “performs activity” portion of the statement describes a discrete action that can be done in a short period of time, usually doesn’t include a performance standard, and is a step that is directly related to achieving the goal. The “how” portion of the statement lists smaller, specific actions and usually contains the word “by.” The task statement is usually part of an action plan. Statements 2 and 3 above are examples of tasks.

All good performance starts with clear goals. Whether you use the SMART goal approach (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Trackable) or some other model, focusing on the elements of an effective goal—Achieves…Outcome…When—will help you focus your energy and efforts in the right direction—achieving outcomes that positively impact the performance of individuals and the organization.

Randy Conley is the Vice President of Client Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.

I remember the first time my coach shared the problem of the why question with me. My eyes opened wide and I felt as if I had just been let in on a big leadership secret. I knew this new knowledge would help catapult my communication effectiveness to the next level.

I spent several months eradicating the word why from my language, and it did help. Challenging conversations were, well, less challenging.

Yet in certain situations, something was missing. I didn’t feel as though I was getting to the root of the difficulties some clients were facing. It wasn’t until I read Simon Sinek’s Start with Why, Edward Deci’s, Why We Do What We Do and, finally, Susan Fowler’s Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work—and What Does that I realized what the problem was.

The very reason we refrain from asking why questions is also the reason they can be so powerful: they engage both emotional and cognitive levels in a way that other questions don’t. Used carefully and appropriately, why questions can help clients get unstuck and cause a shift by identifying basic psychological needs of Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence.

When appropriate, here are five ways to mindfully use a why question:

1. When a person is stuck and helplessly procrastinating or placing obstacles in the way, ask a question such as Why do you think you’re holding on to the status quo? Use a caring, nonjudgmental tone.
2. Be prepared to ask a question starting with why up to five times. This is known as the Power of Why technique, which is helpfully described in Fowler’s book.
3. Listen for ways to connect values to the desired end state. Ask clients how they can reframe the situation so values remain intact.
4. Listen for psychological needs being undermined. Ask clients how they could be reconnected in a different way. For example, if the quarterly sales meeting has been canceled due to cost saving and your client is complaining about that lack of connection, ask how else they might get that relatedness with colleagues.
5. Finally, ask permission to use the Power of Why. This helps take out any feeling of being judged the client might have.

I don’t often use why in my everyday language—but when I do, I use it thoughtfully and mindfully to open up new possibilities.  As a coach, consider whether a why question might open up new possibilities for you as well.

 About the Author

Judith Donin is a Senior Consulting Partner and Professional Services Mentor for North America with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Judith’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

• I thought I needed to have all of the answers
• I thought I needed to be authoritative and hard otherwise people wouldn’t respect me
• I followed all of the rules & guidelines the company set to the T, 100% of the time
• I never really listened or was open to be persuaded
• I shied away from conflict, until it blew up in my face
• The company set the goals which were very day-to-day focused, e.g., call handling times, etc. I never as a manager set any long term goals for my team or development goals, I simply followed the script, mainly because I didn’t know any different.
• We didn’t celebrate achievements enough.

Knowing what I know now, there are lots of things I would have done differently in my first time manager role. I won’t write them all, because I could be here for days but I’ve noted just a few a below.

• Breathe – You don’t have to answer everybody’s questions straight away. Take five minutes to reflect and stay calm even when stressed.
• Listen – Not just for the sake of letting others talk, but really listen to what people are saying. Be open to being persuaded.
• I wouldn’t have pretended to be something I wasn’t. I am not hard faced and authoritative, quite the opposite. People see through masks, I would have told my truth about who I am, and what I expect from the team.
• I would have set clear expectations and goals for my team, to help them grow and develop. Worked hard to create growth opportunities for my team.
• I would have told myself – Don’t take things so personally! I know that’s easier said than done but I used to beat myself up about not being everything to everyone. Remember you are only human.
• When things weren’t going to plan with the team or team member, I would’ve dealt with the situation there and then and thought about my words very carefully. Asked them about what went wrong, ensure no judgement or blame.
• Asked for help. Quite often in life, we are ashamed to ask for help. I don’t know why, because everyone in life at some point needs direction and or support.

My experience of being a first time manager, and feeling completely overwhelmed happens all of the time. People are promoted because they are good at what they do, many forget that a manager’s role requires a completely different skill set to that of an individual contributor.
What would you have done differently in your first time manager role?  Or if you haven’t been a manager yet, but looking to become one, what is your greatest concern about being a first time manager?
Sarah-Jane Kenny – EMEA Channel Solutions Consultant at the Ken Blanchard Companies

There are a number of definitions for the word pain. For our purpose, let us consider the Old French verb pener, which means “to strive for or endeavor.”

At its most basic purpose, pain is an indicator—a messenger, if you will—from the body to the brain.  It’s uncomfortable. It hurts. So we tend to shy away from it. We want to ignore it, downplay it, medicate against it, and in every way try to block the message.

But consider what would happen if we embraced pain. If we listened to what pain was trying to tell us.  What if we heard a message that shouted, “Strive! Endeavor!”

I recently met with a client who was about to embark on a huge project. As we discussed the outcomes and the mechanics of delivery, she became increasingly quiet. When I asked her what was going on for her, she said, “I’m in pain. My neck hurts and I’m really uncomfortable.”

Then I asked, “What message do you think your body is trying to send?” and she had a realization.  The upcoming work would require new skills, lots of effort, and longer hours—perhaps, in the short term, involving evenings and weekends.  Once we pinned down what was making her so uncomfortable, we were able to focus on how to address these issues. She put a plan in place to ensure she had backup and support, especially in the areas where she felt she wasn’t strong. We also looked for ways to alleviate at least some of the long hours such as dividing up some work, offloading other work, and moving back deadlines that were less critical.

By exploring the underpinning reasons for the pain, she was able to shift into a place of excitement. She was ready to strive. She became excited about the project and ready to endeavor, stretch, and grow.

Pain is a message. It is your body clamoring to be heard.  When you listen, you can discover so much more than if you ignore it.  What are your pain points? What is your body trying to tell you?

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.