Editor’s Note: Madeleine is on summer break this week, but don’t fear! We’ve rounded up the five standout themes from the first half of the year, complete with top examples you won’t want to miss. From navigating toxic bosses to setting coaching goals that actually stick, Madeleine addresses it all with wisdom that’s equal parts practical and powerful.

Check out the top themes here, then dive into the full columns. Be sure to come back every week—you never know when the advice you need is just a scroll away!

1. Leadership Transitions and Succession Planning

Madeleine frequently addresses the complexities of leadership transitions in “Not Sure When to Let Your Boss Know You’re Leaving?” She offers guidance on timing and communication strategies for departing leaders, emphasizing the importance of succession planning and organizational continuity.

https://resources.blanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/not-sure-when-to-let-your-boss-know-you-re-leaving-ask-madeleine

2. Navigating Toxic Work Environments

In “Am I Working for a Toxic Leader?” Madeleine discusses strategies for setting boundaries, maintaining professionalism, and deciding when it may be necessary to seek employment elsewhere. She also provides insights into recognizing and managing toxic leadership.

https://resources.blanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/am-i-working-for-a-toxic-leader-ask-madeleine

3. Coaching Practices and Professional Development

Madeleine addresses a common concern among professionals new to coaching in “Not Sure What Your Personal Development Coaching Goals Should Be?” She offers practical frameworks including Pierce Howard’s model that encompasses Flow, Fit, Goal progress, Relationships, and Altruism.

https://resources.blanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/not-sure-what-your-personal-development-coaching-goals-should-be-ask-madeleine

4. Managing Change and Uncertainty in the Workplace

Madeleine looks at the challenges leaders and employees face when navigating organizational changes and external disruptions along with the associated emotional and operational impacts. In “Need to Interrupt the Downward Spiral?” she addresses a situation where a company is experiencing significant stress due to industrywide changes and personal tragedies among staff.

https://resources.blanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/need-to-interrupt-the-downward-spiral-ask-madeleine

5. Workplace Culture and Generational Perspectives

In our final top theme for 2025, Madeleine explores the dynamics of workplace culture and generational differences. Her column on “Tired of Your Friend Complaining about ‘Entitled Workers’?” challenges stereotypes about younger employees and encourages understanding and maximizing generational strengths.

https://resources.blanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/tired-of-your-friend-complaining-about-entitled-workers-ask-madeleine

Madeleine will be back with a new column next week. Got a question for her? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well-Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well-intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Dear Madeleine,

Our company is providing group coaching for all managers at my level. I have never worked with a coach before, but they have given us a bunch of information so (I think) I am comfortable with what coaching is and what is expected of me.

My one area of confusion is this: they have asked us to come to the first session prepared to share our goals with the group—not just our work goals (those are clear to me) but also our professional goals.

I am not sure how to decide what those might be. Ever since I started working, I have been hyper-focused on doing a good job. That has brought me this far. I like my work and I like being good at it, but now I realize there might be more to focus on.

I thought you might have some ideas. What kind of goals do most managers in organizations work on when they work with a coach?

Where to Begin?

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Where to Begin,

Oh boy, do I have ideas and am I ever delighted to share them with you.

First I want to reassure you that it isn’t unusual to get super focused on doing a good job. And that isn’t usually a problem—until it is. For many people, it never is. The sweet spot for coaching is when people are either intrigued by the idea of going from good to great or inspired to challenge themselves to go for something that feels ever so slightly out of reach. So it sounds like this timing is perfect for you.

As you start thinking about your own personal development goals, the first step is to learn what your organization is hoping to accomplish by providing you and your peers with group coaching. Presumably they are seeking some kind of impact. Maybe they want all of their managers to align their behaviors with organizational values or to develop some pre-defined leadership competencies. Is there anything they have already provided that evokes a potential vision for yourself—something to aspire to?

In the absence of any direction from your organization, the next stop would be your boss. I imagine you have been getting feedback from them—possibly a skill that needs developing or a behavior to try on. If no pointers have been shared, you might ask your manager for a one-on-one meeting in which you ask questions such as:

• Based on what you have observed, what roles should I be aiming for? What should I be focusing on to be a good candidate?
• Is there anything you see that would help me add even more value to you, my team, or the organization?
• What do think is possible for me?

It is entirely possible your manager isn’t used to this kind of conversation, so be patient. It is also possible your manager won’t have anything useful to share with you. That would be sad, but it wouldn’t be unusual.

Once you have exhausted your search for input from the outside, you can do some reflection to see what bubbles up from the inside. In The Owner’s Manual for the Brain, Dr. Pierce Howard shares a useful framework for shaping a satisfying life (pg.868):

• Flow: total absorption in the task at hand
• Fit: work that builds on your strengths
• Goal progress: the pursuit of that which is personally meaningful
• Relationships: friends and friendly acquaintances that appeal in some way
• Altruism: service to others

You might consider that any goal you set for yourself will be most engaging if it meets at least some of these criteria—the more the better. As you reflect, you can also practice visualizing what a great day at work might look like in five years. Visualizing the future is not a natural activity for many people, and it takes some practice, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t have a crystal clear vision right out of the gate.

Ask yourself: how many direct reports do I have? Am I leading individual contributors or am I leading managers? How much time do I spend in meetings? How much time do I spend doing my own work? What is the nature of the work? What kind of problems am I solving? Am I traveling to meet with people or to job sites, or am I at a desk most of the time? What kinds of people am I interacting with? What do I bring to the table that adds value or makes me a unique contributor?

Another way to gain insight into your heart’s desire is to identify whom you envy. Envy can be useful in that it gives us information about what matters to us. It helps us understand that we really want something in a way that maybe had not been clear. If envy reveals something you automatically think you can never have, that may be true, but it may also be an assumed constraint that you can overcome.

Hopefully, this will be enough to get you started.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

My company has recently started offering coaching to all managers at my level. It is optional. I have read what our HR department has posted about it, but they didn’t give much information.

I always thought coaching was for underperformers, but that isn’t how they are selling it. What would I work on with a coach? How would it benefit me? It seems to take a lot of time, which isn’t something I have much of. Maybe you can share some insight?

Coach or No Coach?

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Coach or No Coach,

Well, this is right up my alley, so thanks for that. I think it might be easiest to break the whole thing down into a few points:

• What is coaching
• Why work with a coach
• How to get the most out of coaching
• Questions to ask your HR department about coaching

What Is Coaching

Ask ten people what coaching is and you will get ten different answers. That might explain why your HR department is having trouble expressing the value of it. The International Coaching Federation (ICF—the largest, though not only, global professional association for coaches) defines coaching as:

 “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.”

In our book, Coaching in Organizations, Linda Miller and I defined coaching this way:

“Coaching is a deliberate process using focused conversations to create an environment for individual growth, purposeful action, and sustained improvement. Coaching is a one-on-one process and a relationship between an individual and a coach, with specific objectives and goals focused on developing potential, improving relationships, and enhancing performance. Coaching uses a formalized yet personalized approach that integrates proven techniques for change with behavioral knowledge and hands-on practice. Coaching breaks down barriers to help achieve greater levels of accomplishment. It is a process of self-leadership that enables people to gain clarity about who they are, what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

“The one-on-one coaching relationship is used to:

• Unlock an individual’s potential and maximize his or her performance
• Challenge and aid individuals in taking effective action
• Lead individuals to an understanding of the essence of themselves (their character) to achieve satisfaction”

Professional coaches who work in organizations like yours tend to have a lot of experience working in companies, both as former employees and as coaches. They are adept at dealing with the predictable issues people have at work, which include:

• Managing complexity and multiple priorities
• Time, task, and meeting management
• Leading, managing, and developing others
• Career planning
• Leveraging strengths and mitigating weaknesses
• Developing a growth mindset
• Setting boundaries and creating habits that will ensure personal sustainability and avoid burnout
• Polishing interpersonal communications, managing political situations
• Developing and nurturing a network of relationships

Why Work with a Coach

Coaches can do good work only when clients are ready, willing, and able to devote a little extra time and brain space to their own growth. Coaching isn’t the right thing for everyone, all of the time. It would be a great time to work with a coach if you:

• want to be a better employee
• want to be a more effective manager
• have big career goals but aren’t making the kind of progress you’d like
• want to be more creative, assertive, or organized
• know you could develop more effective work habits
• want more time and space to reflect
• fantasize about having more of a life outside of work
• are frankly dissatisfied with your work life in any way

Many people I have worked with come back for a little while when they get a huge promotion, run into a difficult situation, or need to make a big decision. Working with a good coach will leave you with the ability to self-coach in the future.

Just for the record: it is important to distinguish that coaching isn’t consulting (although the coach might fill knowledge gaps when needed), counseling, or therapy. If you feel you might be struggling with depression, anxiety, or past trauma that is interfering with your ability to be at your best, coaching is not the right professional intervention.

If you feel like everything is absolutely perfect at work, you love everything about your life, and you wouldn’t change a thing, well, good on you! Now is probably not the best time to avail yourself of the opportunity to work with a coach.

Get the Most Out of Coaching

If you decide to go ahead with working with a coach, they will probably tell you this—but I will tell you anyway. You really will want to show up fully, with a beginner’s mind and a growth mindset. This can be defined as: “[when] people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” Dweck, 2015

You will want to:

• Schedule your appointments, keep your appointments, and protect your coaching time from intrusions.
• Work with your coach to set crystal clear, attainable goals for the coaching. Ask yourself: How will I know the coaching was a success? It is great to really like or even love your coach, but you still want to have something concrete to show for the investment.
• Ask questions. Share any of your doubts, concerns and impressions with your coach.
• Remember that you are the client. Ask for what you want. Tell your coach how to best serve you. If your coach isn’t asking enough questions, is talking too much or too fast, or is doing something that annoys you, tell them immediately! Think of it as designing an alliance with the sole purpose of serving you.
• Be willing to stretch in your commitments throughout your coaching sessions. You know you will have a safe place to process the experience and learn from it.
• Only commit to actions you are sure you will be able to follow through on. Start small and build, rather than shoot for the moon and feel disappointed.
• Be willing to share with colleagues your experience with being coached. The best way to internalize and integrate what you are learning is to talk about it and teach it to others if possible.

Questions to Ask

You will want to ask your HR department some basic questions like:

• Is the coaching confidential? (It should be; however, in most cases, as agents of the organization the coach is obligated to report on things that are out of compliance with company policy, such as sexual harassment, theft, or ethical breaches.)
• What will you, the organization, want to know about what goes on between me and my coach?
• Will I be able to choose my coach? Are all the available coaches certified?
• What if I don’t click with my coach?
• What if I want to keep working with my coach once the contracted time is up?

This should give you a place to start. I know that your time is a precious resource and it can be hard to imagine how making one more commitment will improve things. You might think about simply testing it out. Try doing an intro program for three months. Any decent coach will provide incalculable value from the word go, so if it feels like a waste of your time, either the coach isn’t good or it isn’t the right time for you to work with one.

Use your own judgment based on all of this. If you go ahead with it, I hope it is a brilliant experience for you.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Aloha Madeleine,

I’m currently a Human Resources director in the hospitality industry. I believe right now, more than ever, our industry needs strong coaches.

What resources can you share to help me strengthen these skills through self-learning? Any suggestions you have would be most welcome! Mahalo!

Want to Be a Better Coach

________________________________________________________________

Dear Want to Be a Better Coach,

Well, thanks for asking. What a fun question. Where to begin? Why not with your greeting? I looked up the meaning of Aloha, because I had always heard that it meant so much more than hello or goodbye, and I found this:

“Aloha is an essence of being: love, peace, compassion, and a mutual understanding of respect. Aloha means living in harmony with the people and land around you with mercy, sympathy, grace and kindness. When greeting another person with aloha, there is mutual regard and affection. This extends with warmth in caring for the other, with no obligation to receive anything in return. The direct translation from Hawaiian to English is the presence of divine breath. The Hawaiian word alo is presence, front, and face, and ha is breath.

Choosing to step into the spirit of Aloha would be a very good place to start because it is so close to what I think of as the Coaching Mindset. The Coaching Mindset is the willingness to put yourself at service to someone else. As a discipline, coaching requires us to be aware of and manage our natural tendencies and to self-regulate to create an environment in which another can stay totally focused on their own thought process, enjoy new insights, and feel galvanized to take action.

So many people think that coaching is about giving advice or telling others what to do. What we know is that the best use of coaching is to develop people by evoking their own brilliance, connecting to their own motivation, and empowering them to take the action that will most likely help them achieve their goals.

If you ask 10 people, you will get 10 different definitions of coaching. Here is how we define it:

Coaching is a deliberate process that uses focused conversations that create an environment in which an individual will experience accelerated performance and development. It is a relationship between an individual, small group, or team and a coach, driven by specific objectives and expected outcomes. Coaching helps people identify and focus on what they can do to achieve their goals. It supports deep insights and promotes clear thinking and thoughtful, targeted action.

I highly recommend that even as you say you want to be a better coach, you define exactly what that means to you. Ask yourself:

• Who do you want to be a better coach for?
• For what purpose?
• What will you offer people as a coach?
• How will they know what to ask for and how to ask for it?
• How will you know you are successful as you improve?

We break down the journey to coaching competence as understanding and developing a coaching mindset, refining some key skills, and learning a solid, replicable coaching process.

• Mindset. What is your purpose as a coach? What are your natural tendencies, opinions, agendas/judgments, or core needs that will get in your way; for example: your need to be right, your need to show you have the answers, your opinions about the person or the organization, your tendency to interrupt? Are there any other habits that might get in your way?
• Skill Set. Much has been written about coaching skills, so I am not going to belabor that topic here. What I will say (that no one else really seems to be saying) is that the number one skill to work on is self-regulation. Until you master your natural tendencies to have the answer, tell people what to do, interrupt, and ask questions to satisfy your own curiosity instead of sparking insight for the other person, none of the other skills matter. The traditional skills are listening, asking questions, goal setting, challenging, and creating accountability. The ICF website has an exhaustive list of competencies.
• Process. There are many versions of coaching processes out there and most of them are fine. Don’t be fooled by any process that promises you a clean, linear path, because it will fail you. Humans process thoughts and feelings more like pinballs than arrows—you need whatever process you use to accommodate that reality.

Resources I can point you to? Yikes. The field is crowded and attracting new entrants every day.

I can’t honestly pretend that I don’t think our one-day Coaching Essentials training isn’t tops. (Hello? I am one of the authors.) I have been teaching coaching skills in organizations since 1995. I also wrote a book with Linda Miller called Coaching in Organizations. It is an oldie but it has a bunch of good, timeless info on process, skills, and all the different ways coaching can be leveraged in organizations.

There is a crazy amazing resource I love: The Library of Professional Coaching. It is a beautifully organized treasure trove for coaches at all levels.

Another organization to check out is WBECS—The World Business and Executive Coaching Summit. They host a coaching summit every year that offers extraordinary value to coaches at all levels. They invite the who’s who of the coaching world to present and share the latest topics of interest and it is very high quality stuff.

There are a bunch of different associations for coaches, and I am familiar with only one: The International Coaching Federation. It is the biggest and oldest, and it has the greatest reach. If you decide to do a full coach training program (which I recommend long term if you love it), make sure you do one that is accredited by the ICF.

I am buried in books on coaching. There are so darn many, but my current faves are:

• Coach the Person; Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds
• Michael Bungay Stanier’s two books, The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap. Those two books are so good I wish I had written them. That is about the highest praise I can think of.
• An oldie that I just took off the dusty shelf and am still impressed by is Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills by Tony Stoltzfus.
• One of my blogs from 2017 has more info on books, including some recommendations from our Blanchard coaches: 9 Books on Coaching that Coaches Need to Know About

And that’s just to get you started, heh heh.

In short, start with the spirit of Aloha. Then shut up, listen, and inquire to spark insight (theirs, not yours). You will be amazed at the magic those few steps can create.

So “Noʻu ka hauʻoli”—Google tells me that means “the pleasure is mine.” You are most welcome. And Aloha to you!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Most companies want their employees to continue to grow and develop because they know employee growth benefits not only the individual but also the organization. For example, how would productivity change if an employee became a more effective communicator or learned to manage others using a coach approach?

To foster employee growth and development, organizations often enroll people in training or provide them with a coach. What they don’t do enough of, however, is encourage the managers of these employees to support that growth and development. 

This type of manager involvement is often referred to as stakeholder engagement. Simply put, the leader is paying attention to their employees’ development. Stakeholder engagement does not have to be time consuming or difficult. And it’s been documented that when managers are involved, it’s much more likely that an employee’s training and coaching will meet or exceed desired outcomes.

Why stakeholder engagement?

Stakeholders are in a great position to provide helpful feedback to their employees. The employee can use this valuable data to determine their development goals and how those goals relate to the organization’s needs. Additionally, stakeholders can:

• Encourage the employee to share their learning objectives to make sure the two parties agree on the work the employee should focus on. Then together, they can align the employee’s development goals with organizational objectives to increase the impact of the learning. This not only maximizes the employee’s effectiveness but can also increase their overall contribution.
• Provide insight and suggestions for improvement and behavioral change to the employee and help them understand the manager’s vision for their role.
• Emphasize the organization’s level of commitment regarding the employee’s development.
• Recognize whether or not the employee is invested in their own development.
• Encourage the employee to invest more effort in pursuing learning opportunities.
• Hold both themselves and the employee accountable for the employee’s development goals.

Manager involvement before training or coaching

When stakeholders get involved early, they can help direct the course of an employee’s learning—it can be as simple as the leader recognizing and acknowledging the developmental work the employee is taking on. More often, however, it involves the manager facilitating a conversation with the employee before training or coaching begins. During this conversation, manager and employee can discuss:

• The organization’s key goals, objectives, vision, and values
• The employee’s key initiatives and how their role fits into the overall strategy of the organization—linking the employee’s development to the organization’s purpose and desired outcomes
• The way employee performance is evaluated and how it ties into business metrics 
• The stakeholder’s thoughts on the employee’s goals with the goal of agreement on skills the employee needs to achieve specific results. They can then work together to consider how the employee’s actions impact the employee, the manager, and the organization.
• Potential gaps the training or coaching might be able to close that will enable the employee to improve and maximize the value they bring to the organization.
• The employee’s Individual Development Plan (IDP), if they have one—or, if not, manager and employee may discuss how to create one. It’s always a good idea to have a written plan defining employee development objectives. At the end of the conversation, the IDP serves as a contract between employee and manager that outlines what they will do together on further development.

Manager involvement after training or coaching

At the end of training or coaching, stakeholder and employee can review:

• Key concepts from the training and how to use them to be more effective going forward. Help make the concepts come alive by linking the learnings to the employee’s strategic and organizational objectives.
• The employee’s IDP and how the learnings might align with, enhance, or change their development plans. Discuss specific actions the employee is going to take, including timeframes and deadlines.
• Having ongoing conversations about the employee’s IDP and their new learnings. There is so much value in having regular development discussions; don’t let this be “one and done.”

These conversations are extremely important. They not only engage the manager with the development process but also begin to assign some ownership to the manager for the eventual level of development achieved by the employee.

Employee development is everyone’s responsibility

The reality is that an employee’s growth and development is the responsibility of the whole organization. Stakeholders getting involved can provide a big return on investment without being time consuming. Many stakeholders are motivated by their own participation because they feel they are contributing not only to their employee’s development, but also to their own success. When this happens, it’s a win for all!

Are you a stakeholder who could increase your involvement in your employees’ development? Or perhaps you are an employee who could benefit from more attention from your manager regarding your development? I hope this post has given you some ideas for getting started!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am the EVP of sales for a global professional services and SAS company. As you can imagine, we are reeling from the pandemic and the economic train wreck that seems to be coming at us. In the midst of this chaos, I have a long-tenured sales professional—let’s call her G—who is running amok. For many years, G has exceeded huge sales goals; therefore, she has a huge base salary. But for the past five years or so, G has fallen way short of goal.

About 18 months ago, her manager worked with G to recalibrate her goals and she agreed to all the points. She has achieved almost none of what was decided. Instead, she has been focusing on customers outside of her regional mandate. She has also put far too much time into developing strategic partnerships that are not useful to the organization. There are other problems I won’t get into.

The executive team agrees that G is a valuable employee and is willing to get her an executive coach. How would you recommend we go about it? We have provided coaching in the past without seeing quite the results we wanted. How can we ensure that the exorbitant expense will be worthwhile?

Need a Fix!

Dear Need a Fix,

I am so glad you asked. We have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. With clients, we call this Turnaround or Targeted coaching—but internally (don’t tell anyone) we call it Problem Child coaching. Even though our business is designed to offer coaching on a large scale, most clients who request this kind of thing want just one person coached. They want to fix someone who has been valuable but who has run into trouble. This used to be the definition of coaching: bringing in an outside professional to fix people. It was usually kicked off with assessments, which in my opinion do have their place in development but can’t be a substitute for a boss who is too spineless to tell it like it is.

Coaching has since evolved to be an invaluable tool for high performers and high potential employees who need to speed up their development. It almost always adds value and delivers exceptional results. We still do turnaround work, but we charge a lot because it is dangerous: it is time consuming and rarely yields the desired result. We really try to avoid selling expensive approaches that may very well not work—because, frankly, it’s bad for business. But when clients insist, we go in with eyes wide open and we are very upfront about the hazards.

At the risk of offending you, we would probably suggest you get a little coaching yourself to see if you can make the needed impact without the expense and potential insult of essentially forcing a coach on G. Ask yourself:

• What part have I played in this situation? What might I have done differently?
• How did I let this go on for so long? What kept me from setting proper boundaries and making direct requests?
• Are there any other situations where I might be doing this right now?
• How might I nip this kind of thing in the bud in the future?
• What changed for G—one minute she was a rock star and then she wasn’t? Did the market change? The company processes? Did she have some kind of personal problem she wasn’t able to recover from?
• Did G lose a key personal motivator? The science of motivation has taught us that we need the right mix in the areas of autonomy, relatedness, and competence. Was G suddenly tasked with learning a new software she just couldn’t master? Did she lose her best friend at work? Did she get a new boss who started breathing down her neck and micromanaging in such a way that put her on tilt?
• Am I willing to have a brutally honest conversation with G in which I just ask the questions and listen deeply to her answers?

In any event, working with a coach yourself will not be wasted time or effort.

Now, back to the problem of G. Why is Turnaround coaching such a rocky road? So many reasons.

Lack of clarity: We are often asked to have the coach give the client—in this case, G—feedback they have never heard before. Managers—in this case you—are often convinced that feedback and requests have been shared and clarified, but that is rarely the case. You may have said things clearly, but you would be surprised at how easy it is for some people to tune out what they don’t want to hear. What you think sounds like a request might have sounded like a suggestion to G. Your observations about unacceptable behaviors might have been mistaken for input rather than clear requests. Many managers are so worried about damaging the relationship that critical requests can easily end up soft-pedaled and unclear. So for the coaching to make a real difference, you must be prepared to give G crystal clear feedback on what she is doing or not doing that is not working, with crystal clear examples of what would be acceptable. Ask G to repeat it all back to you. Then have her put it in writing.

Lack of measurement: Often the boss is unable to identify desired results that are measurable. They claim they “will know success when they see it.” This is a madly waving red warning flag for us! The results we are looking for must be black and white. Either something is done correctly or it’s not. There can’t be any room for subjective opinions. We like to suggest an “always/never” list. Always do this. Never do that. It lends some real grit to the task at hand.

Lack of consequences for noncompliance: Change is hard. Most people need to truly understand the rationale behind the desired change—and even when they do, they need to feel the discomfort or even the pain of not changing. The neuroscience of goal achievement tells us that we are likely to take actions to avoid pain. The negative consequence for G not making the desired changes needs to be real—and dire. Demotion or actual termination is what I am talking about here. And it can’t be just a threat. You must be ready to do it.

Do you hate me yet? I kind of do. Did I say this was hazardous? Yes, I did.

It is hard to change perception: People tend to commit to their opinion of those who annoy them. Even if G does make significant changes, it might be hard for those around her to see and acknowledge the changes. It is very difficult to change stakeholders’ impressions, even in the face of direct evidence. So if you need to see changes in the way G works with others in the organization, she is going to have to discuss her coaching with each person and ask them for help—not only constant feedback when she reverts to old behaviors, but also a chance to shift on the fly. G is going to need to involve others in her quest to improve. This takes an awful lot of courage. She may or may not have it.

Sometimes it’s the fit: There is always a good chance that G is simply in the wrong job or the wrong organization. Maybe there have been so many changes around G that it will never be right. Some clients really should consider that what they need to be successful is a different environment. You need to be prepared for the possibility that the safe environment and soul searching she finds in coaching may result in her choosing to leave the organization. Sometimes this actually the best-case scenario.

Some people are not willing or able to change: There are many potential reasons why G is underperforming. Maybe she is trying to get back at someone. Maybe she has serious personal problems. Speculation is a waste of time, but the truth is that maybe G either isn’t willing to step up and do the work or just can’t. The coach will know within the first three months if G is committed—and G needs to know that the coach will have that conversation with her. Good coaches know when they are being “yessed.” The coach, in all good conscience, should end the coaching if that happens.
Nobody wants to think they need to be fixed: Do you? I sure don’t. So the whole thing needs to be set up carefully and G needs to know you have her best interests and her career success at heart.

Need a Fix, you might want to start by having a bona fide heart-to-heart with G. You may be able to avoid the whole coaching thing this way, especially considering you’ve already tried it. Maybe if G feels safe enough to explore what is true for her, you can reach some kind of resolution. It is worth a try.

Good luck—this is a tough one.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

As the world struggles for certainty in this unprecedented time, many are feeling the need to serve others in every way we can. Like most leaders we know, you may be struggling to find the best way to lead your people right now. Shouldering the responsibility of making tough decisions and taking on new challenges singlehandedly can be especially difficult. Having the encouraging support of others now is needed more than ever before.

Consider how coaching could help you and those in your organization in these ways.

• When an individual who has been capable and confident about goals or tasks in the past is no longer performing well, what coaches know about resilience can be just the thing.
• When high performing individuals are ready to become more fully rounded in their current role. By increasing opportunities and expanding a direct report’s network, development coaching can energize people to maximize their strengths. In times of crises, taking the long view can be galvanizing.
• When individuals are ready to plan their next career moves career coaching can show people how valued they are and can help an organization retain talent and develop bench strength over time. Succession planning is all of a sudden a hot topic and coaches can help your leaders to be prepared.
• When managers or direct reports need support, encouragement, and accountability to sustain recent training and turn insights into action, coaching to support learning can help people start using what they’ve learned. What investments have been made in training that are not yielding the results you need right now?
• When an organization is looking to foster an ownership mentality and a culture of self-responsibility, coaching culture work creates a wonderful work environment that supports productivity and boosts morale. Don’t let a crisis go to waste. What better time to make all of the shifts in your culture that you have always wanted to make?

Blanchard Coaching Services has worked with over 16,000 leaders and executives to increase their effectiveness and provide inspirational leadership through times of difficult change. You don’t have to go it alone. Whether for yourself, or your people we invite you to consider how coaching services can provide a strategic, supportive partnership resource. Focus, clarity, action. Coaching can help.

You can find more information about Blanchard Coaching Services here.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

David Witt, Editor, Blanchard LeaderChat

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I’ve been a manager for over twenty years and I am facing a situation I just can’t handle. I have an employee—my hire—who has always been great, done great work, learned fast, had a positive attitude, and worked well with everyone. A cheery ray of sunshine on the team.

About six months ago, she started missing meetings with no explanation, calling in sick, and turning in work with errors. This coincided with her getting married. She got back from her honeymoon and just started melting down.

I have given her feedback on her work and have taken her to task for missing deadlines and meetings. When I do this, she just starts to cry. We have had several one on ones where I’ve asked her how she is doing. She is not willing or able to tell me what the heck is going on.

This situation is dragging down the whole team. Speculation about what is going on—including that her new husband is abusive—has become a full-time sport around here. Everyone is worried about her and looking at me to somehow come to her rescue. Please don’t tell me to go to HR—we are a small business and we don’t really have HR; it’s just me.

I’m going to have to let her go if she doesn’t turn things around. What should I do?

Worried

Dear Worried,

You sound kind. It is awful to watch people slide into the pit of despair. But here’s the thing: you can’t save people. And you really can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.

What you can do is continue to give feedback, be kind, and tell the truth. At this point, though, the truth might be something like “you will need to get it together or I will have to let you go. I am here to help you in any way I can, but I can’t help you if you don’t ask for help.”

That’s about it, Worried. It stinks. I know you hate it. I hate it, too. But I have made almost every mistake that can be made trying to save people, so I know this is true.

I’m sorry.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

For most, if not all organizations, their employees are their number one asset. This makes the wellbeing, the engagement of employees very important. Why?  Because engaged employees are passionate about their work.  They strive to provide superior customer service, solve problems, and find innovative approaches. 

A great way to generate a significant positive affect on employee engagement is through individualized attention and one way to get started is through coaching.

Every employee in an organization is different.  Coaching is a wonderful way to give employees individualized, customized attention.  Coaching is uniquely tailored for the person being coached. A coach works with an individual to understand what make them tick—to understand the employee’s own strengths and work passion.  Coaching helps to draw out employees’ ideas and opinions and helps employees to discover how to best make their own contribution.  It makes employees feel valued and appreciated.  All this attention gets employees to engage more in their own career.

Is engagement an issue in your organization? Consider some of these ways a coach provides individualized attention to those they serve.

A coach:

• Takes the time to build rapport with those they coach to get a sense of who they are, not just what they do. Great rapport often increases employees’ motivation to work hard in their role and on the goals of the organization.
• Values employees’ contributions and cares about their professional success.  This in turn often empowers them to take more ownership of their own continued development.
• Cares about the individual, working with them to understand their strengths and foster greater development. 
• Checks in with those they coach to see what is working, what isn’t, and what might the employee do different in the future.

Coaching gets clients to engage more in their role, their development, and the goals of the organization. When employees receive coaching, they feel positively supported and valued by their organization which in turn generates and builds more engagement. 

Engagement has been shown to increase retention, innovation, and performance, and as a byproduct, revenue.  What organization wouldn’t welcome that?

When people feel that their manager cares about their development their commitment and energy increases. This leads to growth, increases their confidence, and helps them to reach their full potential. Use a coach approach to individualize attention, either by hiring outside coaching or developing those capabilities in-house. Individualized attention pays off for the individual and the organization.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

• We know our coaches—their strengths, their style, and who fits the profile for their ideal client.
• We consider geography as one of many factors, but not necessarily the first factor.
• We explore the needs of the client. What do they want to achieve? Who do they like to work with? The more we know about the client, the better we can match them to a coach.
• We explore the needs of the client’s organization. What does the boss think? What are desired outcomes? How will the organization know that outcomes have been achieved?
• We ask the client to put some skin in the game, often in the form of a chemistry call with one or more prospective coaches.

And we rematch if we get it wrong.

We want the client to have the right coach. Relationship and rapport are of the utmost importance in coaching—and not every coach fits every client. Although it rarely happens, in the seventeen years we’ve been doing coaching there have been times we’ve had to rematch a client with a different coach. Here are some examples of what happened and what we learned.

• A coach missed her first session with the client. It was a simple time zone issue, but the coach just couldn’t recover trust. We swapped to a new coach and the client is now deeply engaged in his own development. He appreciated the quick response and the high touch recovery.
• A coach worked with a client for several sessions but wasn’t seeing the high impact we expect. He talked to his Coaching Solutions Partner (head coach) and we then reached out to the client. We explained that we wanted the client to have a phenomenal experience. The client agreed to try a new coach. His feedback was that it was the “best decision ever.”
• A coach made an error during a second coaching session, confusing one client with another. The client in the coaching session felt marginalized and asked for a new coach. We learned that feedback from a client is a powerful learning and development opportunity for our coaches. The coach in question now has a better system in place for herself: she consistently takes a break between coaching sessions to allow herself to properly prepare.

3 Signs a Rematch Might Be Necessary

Our experience as a business-to-business organization with more than 143 coaches worldwide has given us good insight into some of the early warning signs that the client and coach match isn’t what it should be.  These signs should be monitored as part of any internal organizational coaching you might be managing. If you are a human resources business partner tasked with managing the coaching of others in your organization, here are three signs to look for:

1. Clients are rescheduling frequently.
2. Clients are not looking forward to their scheduled coaching sessions.
3. Learning is not occurring.

If you see any of these signs, what do you do?  A frank conversation with the client is a great place to start. Have a backup plan in place—and another coach who can step in as a better fit.

Ultimately, trust and rapport are key elements to a great match. Our goal is to serve clients in achieving their desired outcomes.  If that’s not happening, we won’t hesitate to suggest a better fit.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The challenge is knowing when each conversation is most appropriate. Without clear distinctions it is easy for these conversations to blend together and overlap. And once that happens, managers may find themselves attempting to play all three roles—manager, coach, and mentor— simultaneously, and that rarely (if ever) turns out well.

Here are the distinctions that can help leaders and managers identify the best conversation to use based on the questions people ask.

The Management Conversation—for questions about what the job is, how to do it, and how to produce the best results. The management conversation is most appropriate when the goal or task is clear and when manager and direct report have shared responsibility for results. Management conversations solve problems and produce results, with and through others, that benefit the organization.

The Coaching Conversation—for questions about things that are affecting a direct report but aren’t necessarily related to their job or their performance. The coaching conversation works best for creating clarity when goals are not crystal clear. It is also used when the direct report has higher interest than the manager in the outcome or when the manager does not have enough expertise to provide optimal benefit to the employee. Coaching conversations promote discovery, generate insights, and clarify purposeful action for the employee in ways that may or may not benefit the organization.

The Mentoring Conversation—for questions about professional development and career support. The mentoring conversation is used when a mentee—whether or not they are a direct report—is seeking advice and willing to assume responsibility for a mentor/mentee relationship. The mentor must have suitable experience and useful advice to provide about the company or industry.  The mentor also must be willing to invest time and energy in ways that go above and beyond the requirements of their regular job. Mentoring conversations enable the sharing of expertise based on personal experience, which may or may not benefit the organization.

Being all things to all people is impossible. The manager who knows exactly where they are and what role they are playing at any given moment will be able to serve their people best.

In upcoming posts, I’ll share ways to be more effective with each of these conversations. For now, consider these three distinctions. What types of conversations are you and your leaders most often engaging in?  Are you identifying different outcomes—or are you trying to be everything to everyone?

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The leader does the heavy lifting.  To be effective, a coaching conversation must be a two-way discussion.  Both the leader and the person being coached (i.e., the direct report) need to be engaged.  However, if the coachee doesn’t fully participate, it’s easy for the leader to do more of the heavy lifting.  This is like the leader driving a car with the direct report in the back seat, enjoying the ride.  It’s the opposite of what is meant to happen. Both parties must be active participants in the discussion.  When using a coach-like style, the leader’s job is to draw out the brilliance of the person being coached.

The leader creates dependency.  When a leader does all the work, it can create a dependency on the part of the direct report.  For instance, the direct report asks the leader to help with issues they can easily handle themselves—or they delay action or avoid a decision on a task.  In extreme cases, the direct report starts abdicating all decision making to the leader.  When this happens, a leader’s own work time gets eaten up, which can result in their needing to bring home work that could have been completed at the office.

The leader talks when they shouldn’t.  When leaders facilitate a coaching session, some find it hard not to offer up good ideas—especially if the coachee is quietly contemplating what to say. This scenario is fairly common since most people need time to think about a topic before they chime in.  A leader who wants to be more coach-like needs to give people the gift of silence—which is easier said than done.  One tactic I’ve suggested to clients is to envision themselves sitting on their hands versus jumping in to help.  If the coach can stay silent, they are less likely to impart their own knowledge and more apt to draw out brilliance from their direct report.

When appropriate, using a coaching style can be instrumental to the development of others.  When leaders encourage their people to do the work and to come up with their own ideas and solutions, direct reports become engaged and step into their growth, which is a beautiful thing!

Are there any other traps you’ve seen leaders fall into when trying to be more coach-like? Please share in the comments section below!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Some might say, “This is where coaching comes in!”  Wrong.

This is, however, a scenario in which organizational sponsors—a person’s leader and an HR partner—may call on a coach as a last-ditch effort to fix someone they see as a problem employee.  How unfortunate for coaching to be framed as some kind of desperate measure!  The employee hasn’t been trained well, hasn’t been clearly communicated with, likely knows they are failing, and probably feels anxious.

The purpose of coaching is not to “fix” people. People don’t want to be fixed. Even attempting such a thing would be a misuse of coaching. The value of coaching is it accelerates the achievements of capable people through partnership with a professional coach.

So, what should a coach do in the scenario above? Tell the truth. Have a compassionate truth-telling session with the organizational sponsors before the individual in question is even involved.

• In considering the opportunity, a skilled coach needs to make sure the sponsors have given the person crystal-clear feedback on what is not working, behavioral examples of what a change would look like, and some clear consequences if the employee fails to change.
• The sponsors need to know that they may not ask a coach to tell the person being coached something that person has never heard before.
• Even if the person being coached does make significant changes, people around them may not see or acknowledge the changes. It is difficult to change stakeholders’ impressions, even in the face of direct evidence.
• There is always the possibility that the employee is in the wrong job or the wrong organization. Some people realize through coaching that they need a different environment in order to be successful. The sponsors should know that one of the results of coaching may be the employee choosing to leave the organization. Conversely, if it is determined thorough coaching that the employee simply is not capable of making the necessary changes, they may need to be let go.

A capable professional coach will courageously address all these points with the organizational sponsors and ask them to honestly consider the viability of coaching success at this point. If sponsors and coach agree to proceed, all stakeholders must work together up front to identify and agree to clear and measurable outcomes (i.e., success measures), which the sponsors would share with the employee prior to the launch of coaching.

Finally, for all concerned, there should be a check-in meeting between the coach and the organizational sponsors 45 days into the coaching. At this meeting, the coach would offer to stop the coaching if they feel the employee is not willing, ready, or able to make the required changes.

Unfortunately, turnaround coaching is often proposed too late for an employee’s success. However, with true partnership between the coach and organizational sponsors in creating clarity, the coach can provide exceptional service and value to both the organization and the employee receiving coaching.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Blanchard has worked with a number of clients who are using this strategy along with external coaching for executives and senior leaders.

What are the must-have skills and qualities an HRBP needs to be an effective coach?

A desire to serve others. In the coaching world, we call this the C gene. It’s a coaching mindset that is bent toward facilitating learning and growth for others.

Formal training and practice in coaching skills. Anyone can call themselves a coach, but skilled coaching requires formal training and a lot of practice. Great coaches know that continuous learning—honing of the craft of coaching—makes us better able to serve our clients.

A clear directive. A qualified internal coach can answer these questions: Who do I serve? What are the expected outcomes? What responsibility do I have regarding working agreements with the client and the organization?  For example, if an internal coach is coaching an individual and also that person’s manager, whose agenda takes priority? What information can and cannot be shared?

The ability to compartmentalize. When we coach inside an organization, we hear all manner of stories that are juicy, relevant, inspiring, and horrifying.  An internal coach can keep it all in a box without judging the content. A coach is a vessel. We don’t judge. We serve.

Awareness of when to seek external support. Blanchard has trained coaching skills to hundreds of HRBPs in many different industries. HRBPs consistently say it’s hard to coach upward—that senior leaders and executives just won’t open up to an internal coach because it feels too risky.  We also hear that when the HRBP isn’t a good match for the person in need of coaching, the coaching doesn’t work. HRBPs who coach need to know when to leverage outside support.

A good coach can make all the difference for an individual, a department, and an organization.  It’s the thoughtful use of skills in the right place at the right time that will make the HR business partner successful in serving others.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Most of the people who are to chosen to receive coaching are excited about the prospect and immediately enthusiastic; however, some are not. These folks either miss the initial email from their L&D business partners, or they read the email and don’t really understand it, or they do understand it but aren’t really signed up for what feels like yet another thing to do. Sometimes they have had a bad coaching experience in the past.

When clients aren’t prepared to meet a coach at least halfway, it can lead to problems. This type of coaching client often doesn’t show up for their coaching sessions—or, even worse, they do show up but they “yes” the coach. This essentially means that the client shows up for their session but doesn’t really pay attention or commit; they just say enough of the right things to slide by. Most coaches know when they are being “yessed,” but it is amazing how good some people are at this. In the worst cases, the client goes along and then claims the coaching was a waste of time and their coach was terrible. The financial, emotional, and lost-time cost of this kind of coaching situation is painful and embarrassing for all concerned—so we work very hard to avoid it.

It is critical for the professionals in charge of the coaching initiative to put some effort into what we think of as internal marketing. This includes:

• An Invitation. Nobody likes to be told that they are getting a coach, even if they actually want one. An invitation respects the individual’s autonomy, which is critical to motivation. This is beautifully explained by my colleague Susan Fowler in her book Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work…And What Does.
• An Explanation. Coaching is expensive. It’s important for candidates to understand why they are being offered coaching right now, what the organization expects them to get out of it, and how they can expect to benefit professionally and personally.
• An Opportunity to Opt Out. Candidates need to be given the option to decline coaching as well as clear direction and support for how to make the decision. There should never be a sense that any coaching candidate will be judged or penalized if they decide to forgo coaching for now.

Ultimately, a client must be ready, willing, and able to work with a coach for the exercise to be fruitful.

To help L&D professionals support coaching candidates in making the best choice for themselves, we developed a series of questions potential clients can ask themselves. There is no hard and fast rule about how many of these questions a potential coaching client needs to say yes to. The purpose is to shine a light on the client’s present mindset and circumstances.

Is coaching right for the candidate? Have them consider these questions:

1. Am I planning to stay in my role and/or grow with the organization for at least the next six months?
2. Am I currently feeling successful in my role and organization?
3. Am I on an even keel from a performance standpoint—having some challenges, perhaps, but no serious problems?
4. Am I eager to obtain, consider, and be influenced by feedback?
5. Am I familiar with or open to learning what coaching is all about?
6. Am I open to new perspectives?
7. Am I ready to accept input?
8. Am I able to devote time—at least three hours a month—to coaching sessions or commitments made in coaching sessions?
9. Am I willing to be challenged?
10. Am I confident enough to disagree with my coach?
11. Am I confident enough to give my coach feedback if I don’t think the coaching feels useful?
12. Am I capable of introspection?
13. Am I eager to grow and change?
14. Am I currently free from severe personal problems that require extra brain space? (This may include addiction recovery, deep grief due to recent loss, difficult relationship issues with significant other, child or parent that requires close attention/therapy/counseling, contentious divorce/custody/legal issues.)
15. Do I believe coaching is the best use of my time, focus, and efforts right now?

Allowing individual clients to think ahead and choose for themselves will increase the likelihood that every coaching engagement will result in a success story. Consider how you can help your coaching candidates be better prepared to get the most out of what coaching has to offer.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

How quaint!

When it comes to interacting with others in today’s digital age, the telephone may seem like a relic from the past.  You may think coaching over the phone would be a poor substitute compared to face-to-face interaction.

But the truth is, phone coaching is awesome! Here’s why:

• You will be listened to—really listened to. When was the last time that happened?
• No travel, no fuss. You just call your coach as planned.  Close the door, walk a trail, or sit in your car.  Select a setting in which you can speak freely, and you and your coach will co-create an environment with words that will bring out your best.  The coaching conversation becomes your private oasis of professional development—and shoes are optional.
• On the phone, you have to use your words. This is powerful.  You’ll be forced to say what you mean.  Using only a telephone, you can’t posture, your coach can’t try to read your nonverbals, and you can’t mirror one another.  Instead, the power of words will be accentuated and underscored.
• You’ll experience the power of silence. A great coach doesn’t yammer in an attempt to offer options for what you might want to say. A great coach will wait for you to find the words.  You’re worth it.
• Your telephone coaching conversation is yours. It is all on you, all about you, and driven by you.  It is your time, your way.  Your coach will tell you what they’re hearing and what they’re not hearing: verbal feedback.  Again, when was the last time you got that on a consistent basis?
• Finally, with telephone coaching, someone will be hanging on your every word.

At Blanchard Coaching, we’ve been using the phone with more than 15,000 clients over the past 15 years for one key reason: phone coaching works!

Let us know if we can share more.  We’d love to talk about it!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In some places, coaching is still perceived as remedial help but I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that no organization is investing in that anymore. Coaching today is for the high potentials and the most valuable players.

At Blanchard Coaching Services, we coach people in organizations. The people we coach are capable, highly intelligent, and endowed with a remarkable work ethic and a drive to succeed.

Coaching works for these folks because each of our clients sees themselves as a hero or heroine of their own fantastic journey. Their coach is a reminder of who they are and where they are going.  Each of our clients is like Luke Skywalker and their coach is their Yoda.  Anyone up to something truly worthwhile could use a Yoda. Thomas Leonard, one of my many mentors and coaches, once said something that has become a mantra for me: “Anything worth doing is worth getting help with.”

And yet, as a one of the founding members of the International Coach Federation, I am deep in the conversation about how to train Yodas and how to regulate the practice of being Yoda for people.  It is complicated. The public needs to be protected from people without the skills or mindset of an accredited coach. Coaching skills alone are not enough, however, and assessing the competence of coaches is inexact at best.

In an article for Choice magazine entitled Avoiding the Iceberg, my pal Terrie Lupberger writes about the rules that can help a coach do just that.

David Goldsmith, who was my coach at a critical moment in my career, believes that soon, “good enough” coaches will be replaced by artificial intelligence.  He is worried that there is no one teaching good coaches how be great coaches.  Unlike Yoda, we don’t have the option of the benefit of 700 years of experience. Goldsmith defines the masterful coach as someone who has the discernment and judgment to choose the right tool from their massive toolbox to share with the client.

In his article Do Great Coaches Break the Rules? Goldsmith writes: “Most long-standing coaches not only fluidly and fluently dance between the distinctions of coaching, consulting, counseling, and training, they also are constantly customizing solutions and approaches for their clients from an eclectic and deep repertoire of methods, processes, and skills.   The current ‘rules’ don’t include this behavior in the usual definitions of coaching.”

In my own article, What Are We So Afraid of? I outline the polarity between asking and telling that a coach needs to navigate to be of true service to the client.

Food for thought for anyone interested in this ongoing philosophical debate.

As Yoda would say, “Invited are your insights!”

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The current requirements to achieve the designation of Master Certified Coach are 200 hours of coach-specific training, 10 hours of working with an MCC mentor coach, a credible log documenting 2,500 hours of coaching with at least 35 clients, a performance evaluation based on audio recordings and written transcripts of coaching sessions, and the completion of the Coach Knowledge Assessment.

Certainly, 2,500 hours of coaching is a lot of experience. But what does it actually mean? And what should clients expect when they hire a coach who has been designated as a master? What would make it worth the extra money?

A master coach should be able to work with any kind of client, even if the match isn’t perfect. Any good coach will help their client identify goals, map out the steps to achieve them, pinpoint strengths to leverage and weaknesses to mitigate on the journey, and help keep the person on track. The master, however, will ensure that the journey is shorter, more efficient, and fun.

A masterful coach will

• Make the client feel heard and understood
• Leave the client with new learnings that are useful and actionable
• Provide direct but kind feedback when possible
• Tell the truth without blame or judgement
• Share context, information, a new model, or relevant research to help the client think something through or expand perspective
• Be a stickler for professionalism and crystal clear agreements
• Keep the coaching conversation laser focused
• Understand what motivates the client to challenge them effectively
• Meet the client exactly where they are
• Be an advocate and champion for the client’s best self
• Have achieved some kind of success themselves
• Be a Swiss bank vault for confidentiality

Many perfectly adequate coaches will do most of these things. It might be easier to identify a master by what they won’t do.

A masterful coach will not

• Have a pre-determined agenda about who or how the client should be
• Judge or criticize the client
• Get defensive in the face of feedback from the client
• Whip the client into temporary action by using fear or ego to generate adrenaline
• Ask why questions or questions that serve to only satisfy the coach’s curiosity
• Over-focus on the past
• Indulge in philosophizing—or worse, therapy
• Obsess about accountability
• Withhold an opinion or information that might be helpful
• Give specific advice, especially in areas where they are not expert
• Answer the question What would you do?
• Tell the client what to do
• Speculate about other people’s motives
• Get bogged down in the client’s story
• Create dependence on the coach
• Discuss other clients or boast about client successes—or worst case, take credit

A master coach will never forget that every client success is achieved by the client—and as good a coach as they may be, the coach is only as good as the client.

Master coaches are insatiable lifelong learners and are constantly adding to their knowledge and skills. I can’t imagine why anyone would hire a coach who isn’t constantly striving to improve and grow themselves.

The thing that is so hard to pin down, and impossible to teach, is what some might think of as wisdom. The master coach will have deep experience in several disciplines and have the flexibility of intellect and creativity to synthesize seemingly random concepts into useful ideas.

Any client, no matter how accomplished or brilliant, should be able to expect that a Master Certified Coach will be an intellectual equal and an emotionally well-adjusted grownup who takes full responsibility for their own frailties.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Here are the top three (with Madeleine’s advice) in ascending order.

Click the title or picture to see the complete question and response.

#3 Don’t Really Like People? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “You made me laugh out loud with your concern. People are tough; there is no question. However, you can’t be in business without them—so you are going to have to extend yourself just a touch….”

#2 Afraid You Might Be a Wimp as a Manager?  Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “Here’s the thing. You have trained your people to think they can get away with making a commitment and not following through. The result is, when you give out work assignments, your team members know there isn’t much of a consequence for shoddy planning, so they plan shoddily. This needs to be corrected or you will just keep repeating the same pattern….”

#1 Co-Worker Won’t Shut Up?  Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “Generally, people who are that oblivious to social cues are in the grip of some huge need that they are not able to get met. You are the one who’s going to have to either do something or risk losing the respect of your team. It stinks. I think you need to go at it head on—don’t soft-pedal or pull any punches….”

About Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Coaching yourself can be a challenge due to biases and assumed constraints.  However, by increasing your awareness of your thoughts and being intentional, you can coach yourself to positive outcomes. Here are six recommendations that may help you.

Silence is Key.  Set aside quiet times for yourself to deeply reflect and explore your thoughts.

Brain Dump.  Write down your thoughts.  Be honest about how you are truly feeling.  Don’t hold back!  Remember, you are only talking to yourself so be honest!

Identify Your Goal or Objective.  In your current reality, state what you truly want to accomplish or change.  Say to yourself, “In a perfect world, I want… or “If I could have it my way, I want…”

Create a Plan of Action.  The goal here is to move through the feeling of being stuck by answering the question “What am I going to do about it?”

Start Small. Identify a few actions you will take and give yourself deadlines.  Include what may block you from being successful and how you can overcome it.

Find an Accountability Partner.  Find a person or persons who can support you and speak to them about your goals and plan of action. Ask them to hold you accountable.

We all have times when we feel stuck and need a little help.  If you are unable to partner with a certified coach, remember that you can coach yourself to move toward thinking differently, consciously exploring your thoughts, and creating a plan. Use this six-step process to get started—and let me know how it goes!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

The International Coach Federation describes presence as the “ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, and confident.”

Being present is about being in the moment with a laser focus on the client. To do this, eliminate any potential distractions and filters—including your own preconceived thoughts and judgments. Being fully present means listening to understand and asking open-ended questions to help your client explore himself or herself more deeply.

Here are a couple of tips that can help you be more present in your coaching conversations.

Remember, it’s not about you. I like to say to my clients “It is not about me as a coach; it is all about YOU!” The coach is confident about not knowing or identifying the solution—their focus is on shifting perspective and exploring possibilities. The client is in the lead with the coach as a solid support partner.

Silence is okay. Often we feel the need to fill in the gaps during a conversation. But truly being present may involve periods of silence, which a coach will often do intentionally. This allows clients more space to share what’s on their mind.

Listen to understand. Too often, people listen only enough to respond. Instead of really hearing what the other person is saying, energy is spent preparing an answer or response. Effective coaches practice active listening—listening with the expectation of hearing something new or surprising.

Tell your truth. Coaching presence means the coach calls out what they are observing and trusts their intuition to support the client in gaining clarity, increasing self-awareness, and finding the right solutions.

I have learned over the years that the most important thing I can do in my coaching relationships as well as my personal relationships is to be fully present and in the moment. It is about showing I care, listening to understand, and controlling my thoughts, judgments, and responses.

Imagine being fully present with your spouse, partner, kids, family members, friends, and co-workers. Consider listening to truly understand the other person’s perspective—what they are saying and feeling—without quickly forming a judgment or jumping to share your thoughts. How would your relationships change?

If you haven’t tried coaching presence, try it!

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Step 1: What is the goal? What outcomes do you want coaching to achieve? Is a behavior change required? Is a shift in thinking necessary? What exactly has to change? Being specific about outcomes is surprisingly hard for people. Earlier this year, we worked with an organizational sponsor to set up coaching for an executive. When we asked the desired outcome, the sponsor replied, “I’ll know it when I see it.” Needless to say, the target was constantly changing. Coaching is an exploratory process but it must be done with a clear target in mind.

Step 2: Prepare the person to be coached. This includes going over a set of expectations prior to the launch of coaching. Be sure to include expectations around feedback. Share that requests for behavior change will be made in a clear and specific manner along with discussions that ensure feedback is understood and acted upon. Discuss how to create the space for the person being coached to reflect how they might best use coaching and what outcomes they want to achieve.

Step 3: Stick with it. Discuss follow-up. Organizations often expect overnight results. Coaching does not replace the need for internal organizational support—in other words, the manager of the person being coached is not off the hook. In fact, this is a time for the manager to step up, lean in, and follow through. Set up a plan to recognize and acknowledge the growth of the coachee and then support that growth with positive and specific feedback.

Step 4: Gather success stories. Ensure your coaching interventions have some method or process to capture the successes brought about by coaching. Use a post-coaching interview process to capture the changes made and their impact on not only the person being coached but also those around her. Help the coachee to link those successes to business strategies or imperatives. Document the successes and leverage them as a way to influence others to take advantage of coaching.

Coaching will have an impact on people who engage in the process. Careful thought, planning, and follow-through can dramatically increase the effectiveness of coaching, which will pay off a hundred fold in your organization.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a marketing professional who manages a whole crew of kids—really.  Age-wise, I could be the parent of each of these people. My team is tasked with providing movement and content across all of the social media platforms.   We are very successful at what we do.

Here is my problem: I feel like social media has eaten my brain.  I go on all the different platforms to assess trends, see how our work is showing up (vs. depending on analytics) and get ideas for new strategies. I often find myself getting hijacked where 15 minutes can go by and I am not doing anything useful, just clicking on what I know is click bait. 

I have mentioned this, kind of jokingly, to my team. Everyone laughs because it happens to all of us.  I know we could be much more productive but I have no idea how to manage what feels a lot like an addiction.

Addicted to the Internet

Dear Addicted,

Well, in my efforts to research the effects of the internet on the brain I found out a lot. I also ended up reading several articles about unrelated items and checking out the bathing suits the Kardashian sisters are sporting on their spring trip to Mexico.  It sounds like I am kidding, but I am not.  I actually had to slap my own face and remind myself what the heck I was doing. Guess what? Forty minutes had gone by, which was the entire amount time I had allotted for this post!  So you are playing with fire here—and what a good thing it is that you realize it.

From a neurological standpoint, your brain has a natural tendency to seek out novelty and stimulation.  The internet provides the perfect mix of both. Now add in the irresistible pull of instant gratification—the little bursts of dopamine being released with each new click. Dopamine is the feel-good neurotransmitter and without the activity that produces so much, our brains produce less.  This all happens pretty quickly. Once the loop is created, it is fiendishly hard to break.

Your problem is that you are addicted to something you have to use.  In fact, it is your objective to leverage this exact effect to get eyeballs to your site—so understanding this effect will help you control it.  In most cases we can step away from what we can’t control – gambling, shopping, booze, drugs, gossip.  You don’t actually need those things to live.  But you have to use the internet to do your job.  Your closest parallel is food: you have to eat, so you can’t eliminate food altogether.  But you can eliminate sugar—the most addictive food of all, according to some research.

So here are some ideas along those lines to help yourself and your team manage your forays into the bizarre funhouse quicksand that is the internet:

• The first step in dealing with addiction is admitting your powerlessness. The second step is getting support to deal with it. Discuss the nature of addiction with your whole team.  Encourage each person to talk about the struggles they have and how they manage them.  They will have ideas you can test as a group and improve with experimentation.
• Before you go out into the fray, make a clear list of sites and topics to be covered.  Allot finite time periods to accomplish specific tasks.  Set an alarm and try to beat your time.
• Meditate at least once for 10 minutes at the beginning or in the middle of your work day. Use an app like headspace (https://www.headspace.com) if you can’t do it alone.  It will rest your brain and stop the crazy.
• Insist that everyone on your team print out any can’t-miss articles on paper for others to read. (I know it’s an ecologically unsound practice—use scrap paper and recycle it.)
• Make sure everybody has tasks to do that do not involve being on the internet.
• When weather permits, hold staff meetings while walking outside to get everyone to look out at the horizon—this releases endorphins and changes your brain state.
• For other meetings, make sure everyone’s phones are absent—either put in a basket or left at their desks. Be fierce about this.
• You can’t insist your employees turn off their devices at bedtime, but you can do it for yourself. It will at least give your brain the entire time you are asleep to let its guard down.
• Forbid the use of Candy Crush-type competitive online games during work hours. These are the most egregious and addictive time wasters. I only recently learned players are rewarded for getting friends to join these games.  If you personally play any such games, eliminate them immediately—and if you don’t, don’t start.

Good luck.  You are on the front lines of a phenomenon we don’t fully understand. You are right to take it seriously.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Wondering what people want to talk about most often during times of uncertainty? And how coaching can help? Below are a few common topics managers discuss with their coach when things get stressful.

Managing emotions. A coach creates a safe environment to encourage a manager to deeply self-reflect about his or her true thoughts and feelings. Discussions will center on what is causing the emotion and how to manage it. A coach will also help the manager identify resources and strategies to help control the emotion.

Executive presence. In order to minimize the uncertainty that comes with change, a manager’s attitude, poise, body language, agility, and patience are key. A coach will help a manager gain clarity on how they need to show up in order to lead effectively.

Communication. To build trust and lessen concerns during uncertain times, it is crucial for a manager to be as transparent as possible with information. Direct reports experience several levels of concern during change that a manager needs to address, such as “What is causing the change?” “How will the change impact me?” or “How do I manage all the details?” A coach will support a manager in creating a communication plan and being an effective listener.

Lack of control. A coach will help a manager gain clarity over what is and is not within his or her control. Discussions will center on how to be impactful, influential, and forward focused.  This allows a manager broaden his or her perspective and think differently managing in uncertainty. The coach will support the manager in being creative and finding ways to remain effective and be a guide, leader, and resource for direct reports and colleagues.

All of us deal with self-doubt and uncertainty when faced with turbulent times. A coach can often act as a calming influence and help us find alternatives and resources we might not be able to find for ourselves.

How about you? Have you tried to go it alone? For those who are open to it, a coach can provide an extra layer of individualized one-on-one support for leaders at every level.

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I was surprised at how few responses I got on this particular question—because I have so many on my list.

This possibly could be because I started coaching before there were any books about coaching. So I turned to other disciplines for guidance.

The Career Counselor’s Handbook by Howard Figler and Richard N. Bolles.

JoAnne Maynard, PCC, Blanchard staff coach, says: “There is so much great coaching advice in this book, which is not a coaching book, that it surprised me.  Neither author is technically a coach, but they present many key principals coaches can use.”

A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon.

Renee Freedman, MCC, former director of the SupporTED Coaching Program, offers: “This is a lovely book about our emotional system and how we connect with others—recognition, resonance, and revision. It is a great book for people who want to build relationships and intimacy or to understand chemistry.”

The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone.

This is the surprising suggestion from Tony Klingmeyer, MCC, executive coach and past president ICF–GA.   Tony says this book “inspires about the lengths one must travel to be masterful at one’s art or craft.”

Several folks volunteered that the Bible had made a significant impact on their coaching, in that so many of the teachings seem to represent universal laws, such as ask and you shall receive.

The books that have made the biggest difference for me are these:

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

Several other people chose this book as well.  Renee Freedman said “I cannot imagine coaching without this book as a referral to my clients. It’s so great for so many things—self care, exploration, creativity, a process for transformation and transition, inner awareness and connection.”  I agree.  I have lost count of how many times I have recommended Julia Cameron’s practices to clients who need to reconnect with their creative selves.

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Csikszentmihalyi (whose name is pronounced Me-high Chick-sent-me-high in case you were wondering—and now you can impress your friends) is known as one of the pioneers of positive psychology and has written many books worth checking out. This was an early entrant to the conversation about what we now think of “getting into the zone.”   It is not a mass-market read, but if you are interested in the science of optimal productivity this could be for you.

Creating Minds by Howard Gardner.

This was my introduction to Gardner’s work, and to be fair, my first coaching company was devoted to creative geniuses.  However, I would submit that anyone who is chasing a dream is a creative force.  This work examines the lives of brilliant innovators who essentially created entirely new domains or art forms—Picasso, Freud, Stravinsky, Einstein, Graham, and others—looking for common threads.  Gardner noted what he called the ten-year rule (which pre-dated Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours hypothesis [http://gladwell.com/outliers/the-10000-hour-rule/]), evidenced by most true innovators spending ten years mastering their domain before breaking through to a completely revolutionary new one.   Gardner has also researched and written extensively on multiple intelligences, which is extremely useful for coaches who need to ask not if the client is smart, but how the client is smart.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Coaches often collect and share what one might think of as universal laws, and this book offers some of these based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The agreements are: Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions  and  Always Do Your Best. Don’t let this keep you from the book, because there is a lot more to offer than just the agreements. But I mean, seriously, how can anyone go wrong adopting these rules?

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

Okay, I know, it is hokey as all get out.  But I was so moved by it that I gave it to all of my clients for the holidays in 1990.  It is simply a fable about a young man following his dream, and his classic hero’s journey.  It is a fun and easy read for those who don’t like to read.  People who decide to work with a coach do it because they have a dream that they are not moving toward for various and sundry reasons, all of which show up in the story.  There is plenty of inspiration here.

Leadership and The New Science by Meg Wheatley.

About 23 years ago, I asked my new friend Alexander Caillet, who is now the CEO of Corentus [http://www.corentus.com/founder/ ], what one book he thought I should read and this was it. It absolutely rocked my world for a host of different reasons, but mainly for helping me understand that chaos is essential before order can be achieved.   Wheatley was one of the first to borrow ideas drawn from quantum physics, chaos theory, and molecular biology and apply them to leadership and organizational strategy.  It was revolutionary at the time, and pretty much still is.

The Four Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary by Angeles Arrien.

Arrien researched leaders and change agents in indigenous cultures and found that despite radical differences in culture and customs, they all did four things in common.  This alone is worth the price of the book.  However, she also provides some excellent ideas on how to develop oneself if one identifies with any of the roles in the title.  I have lost count of how many times I have bought this book and given it away.

The Pleasure of Finding Things Out by Richard Feynman.

It is one of minor tragedies of my life that I just don’t have the right brain to do physics, because I absolutely love physics.  But Richard Feynman is a genius who can discuss physics in a way that people like me can actually understand, and along the way address fascinating topics like creativity and even thinking itself.  The sheer beauty of the way he is able to get to simplicity on the other side of complexity is spellbinding.

A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilbur.

Ken Wilbur is not for everyone. He is a true philosopher who has spent his entire life thinking about how things really work.  He has created elegant models that visually represent all of his logic. His work is guaranteed to expand and broaden your thinking and make it more likely that, as a coach, you will be able to understand pretty much anyone you work with.

That’s my list. What’s on your bookshelf?  Please add books you’d recommend in the comments section below!

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a young entrepreneur just getting off the ground with my own startup.  I have been told by several people that I should have an advisory board. 

Can you tell me what that is, what would it do for me, and how I should go about creating one?

Advice Needed

Dear Advice Needed,

Is it too obvious for me to tell you to ask the same questions of these several people who are telling you to get a board?  There is a good chance that they will have an interesting point of view.  But of course, I have one too.

There is what I consider to be a universal law that informs my response to this.  I learned this from one of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, and 25 years of experience have proven him right: “Anything worth doing is worth getting help with.”

So.  Yeah.  Get yourself an advisory board.  Choose the smartest people you know who have a wide variety of business and professional experience and your best interests at heart, and rope them into helping you.  Be clear about what the commitment is (how many hours a year, for example) so people know what they are getting into. Successful people love to help young up and comers—some do it because they are genuinely kind, and others do it so that when you are crushing it they can boast that they had a hand in your success. Some people will say no, and that’s OK.

But here’s the thing:  once you get them, use them.  I have been asked at least three times to be on someone’s board, had my name appear on their websites or stationery (back in the day when we used to put actual letters in the mail to communicate), and then was never asked to attend a single meeting or review a single business plan.  Zip.  Nada.  Nothing.  Here I was, all dressed up and ready to help, and I heard not a peep.

So you will want to brainstorm, possibly with your folks, how to structure your interactions to get the most out of your support crew.  Advisory boards can be used to:

• give professional advice (or direct you to someone who can)
• provide insight
• engage in creative problem solving
• play devil’s advocate
• challenge you
• celebrate your success
• and—maybe most important—keep you from making mistakes they have made. Pragmatic people take a special kind of pleasure in helping others avoid mistakes that have cost them dearly.

Maybe the biggest advantage of an advisory board is that a regular meeting, with commitments around deliverables for discussion, is an extremely powerful form of accountability. I highly recommend that you set up quarterly or bi-annual conference calls far in advance. (Use a platform like Zoom so everyone can see each other—it is way more fun.)  And please note: it’s important that you prepare for these calls.  There is nothing quite as motivating as telling a group of people you respect that you will have a copy of your business plan or your latest financials in their inbox 48 hours before the next meeting.  You are much more likely to get the job done, even if you have to pull an all-nighter, if the alternative is showing up unprepared and making excuses. The more you treat your board like a group of professionals for whom time is the most valuable resource, the more likely they are to show up and add value.  And the more your board shows up and adds value, the more professional and accountable you will be.

There are a hundred ways to go about this, so you need more expertise than I can provide. The book you want to get is Game Changing Advisory Boards by Hawfield and Zaepfel.  It provides detailed checklists of everything to think about and excellent examples of ways different companies have built and leveraged boards.

I also recommend that you look into Michael Gerber’s work.  He has spent a lifetime understanding entrepreneurship and has a bunch of books and a website devoted to helping entrepreneurs. http://michaelegerbercompanies.com

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Because I am always refining my list, I asked a select group of coaches their picks for the best books for coaches—books not only about coaching but also about leadership and coaching in organizations.

Below is the first group of nine recommended books in no particular order.

You’ll see my comments along with those of each coach who submitted a suggested title. We would like you to add to the conversation by including your recommended additions to this list in the comments. I’m hoping that this will be the first in a series of posts on the topic.

The Inner Game of Tennis by Tim Gallwey, recommended by Suzi Pomerantz MT, MCC, executive coach, author, and CEO of Innovative Leadership International LLC. Suzi is also the co-steward and curator of the Library for Professional Coaching, an extraordinary free resource for coaches.

Suzi says, “This book does a great job of speaking about the mindsets and mental shifts that a good coach helps clients achieve. I don’t play tennis, but coaching mastery is all about the inner game.”

I heard Tim speak at the first International Coach Federation Conference in Switzerland and he really was one of the original coaches in terms of helping people get out of their own way.

Next, Coaching for Performance by John Whitmore, suggested by Tony Klingmeyer, MCC, executive coach and past president of the International Coach Federation, Georgia.

Tony says, “This is an oldie but a goodie.  Almost all of my coaching income has been earned using the GROW model. It’s the basic structure of a coaching dialogue—a catalyst for helping others grow, expand, and tap into and express their depth and greatness.”

I agree that the GROW model is the best problem solving model I have ever encountered. It’s especially useful for new coaches who don’t have enough experience to build their own sense of how best to structure coaching conversations.

Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others by James Flaherty is the pick of Renée Freedman, PCC executive leadership, cultural change, and social impact coach and cultivator, former director of the SupporTED Coaching Program.

Renee says: “I am not a graduate of New Ventures West, but this book helped me pull all of my training together and truly understand the big picture and process of coaching.”

New Ventures West is highly regarded among the proliferating coach training schools and I can personally attest that some of the best coaches we have hired at The Ken Blanchard Companies have received their training at New Ventures West.

Joanne Maynard, PCC, The Ken Blanchard Companies, recommends Co-Active Coaching by Henry and Karen Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl, and Laura Whitworth.

Joanne says, “First off, the descriptive writing in this book is wonderful. Every time I crack it open I read gems that are helpful. The concept of the Designed Alliance—where power is granted to the coaching relationship, not the coach—is always a great reminder. The Coach’s Toolkit in the back is helpful as well.”

Whitworth and the Kimsey-Houses were the original founders of the Coaches Training Institute (CTI), another of the well established and respected coach training institutions. CTI is especially good for coaches coming from the corporate world who understand business and organizational dynamics but might need to deepen their intuition and ability to be fully present.

The recommendation from Greta Cowan, PCC, leadership coach, is On Becoming a Leadership Coach: A Holistic Approach to Coaching Excellence by Christine Wahl, Clarice Scriber, and Beth Bloomfield.

Greta says: “This book has a lot of different and helpful perspectives. My favorite is the chapter on the Thinking Path—I use that model all the time.”

This book focuses on coaching leaders in the context of the organizational systems within which they lead, drawing on the curriculum of the Georgetown University Leadership Coaching Certificate Program.

My personal choices are next. I have purchased and loaned out more copies of these books than I can count!

Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart: A Systems Approach to Engaging Leaders with Their Challenges by Mary Beth O’Neill. This book is not for novices, but is excellent for coaches who are ready to up their game and coach at the highest levels. Ms. O’Neill is no nonsense and her ideas are utterly usable.

Masterful Coaching by Robert Hargrove. Hargrove was an early entry and key thinker in the coaching revolution. His focus is on teaching business owners, managers, and leaders to coach, but the techniques are applicable to anyone. The book also has a companion field book which is superb as well.

The Handbook of Knowledge-Based Coaching by Leni Wildflower and Diane Brennan. This book is an encyclopedia of everything you need to know as coach—but didn’t know you didn’t know. Wildflower has been the coaching program expert with the Fielding Graduate School and has written extensively on the topic of coaching. Both authors have made valuable contributions to the coaching profession.

Coach U’s Essential Coaching Tools by Coach Inc. Coach University was the brainchild of Thomas Leonard and this massive doorstop of a book is the contents of his extraordinary brain. To be fair, it is also the contribution of the early teachers at Coach U who collected and cataloged what worked in coaching. Any form, checklist, or possible approach for a coach to work with anyone is in this book, as well as extensive support for those who are building a coaching practice. Leonard also wrote The Portable Coach, which is sadly out of print but still a terrific resource.

That’s a good starting list—what would you add? What books have influenced you along your journey as a coach? Please leave your book suggestions in the Comment section.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

A client’s belief system and cultural perspective greatly impacts how they not only interact with their coach but also achieve goals. As a result, I have personally expanded my perspective, identified potential biases, and adjusted my coaching style to incorporate a range of cultural dimensions.

Here are four key points to keep in mind when coaching across cultures.

1. Definition of coaching. Many clients believe coaching is the same as consulting or mentoring—but there are distinct differences. It is important to begin with a clear mutual understanding of what coaching is and what the client can expect from the partnership.

2. Country orientation. Recognize that the tendency for a client to think, feel, and act certain ways is innate and based on their cultural background. This includes communication, perception of self and others in roles, problem solving, and control.

3. Hierarchical vs. egalitarian culture. Clients with hierarchical views may see themselves as subordinate to higher level leaders and therefore believe communication comes from the top and is not to be challenged. Clients with egalitarian perceptions view employees and leaders as equals and are more likely to freely state their opinions and challenge top leaders.

4. Language. When coaching in a language other than the client’s local language, it is important to be aware of subtleties that can cause misunderstanding. Adjusting the pace of speaking to allow a client to translate and understand will increase the effectiveness of the coaching.

As the coaching profession continues its expansion worldwide, it is more and more imperative for coaches to incorporate intercultural dimensions into their practice to be effective with clients.

Coaches can increase a successful coaching experience by recognizing their existing cultural biases and belief systems and adapting based on the situation. For example, if a client is inclined to value indirect language and harmony in their workplace, the role of the coach is to support the client in identifying when to adapt and lean toward a different, more direct style while maintaining authenticity. It is about not only embracing cultural diversity but also leveraging it.

Coaches and managers: how are you embracing and leveraging diversity?

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

• My boss cared about me as a person
• My boss listened to me and helped me grow
• My boss was clear about what was expected and gave me feedback—even when it wasn’t pretty
• My boss was a person I respected and admired
• My boss was consistent
• My boss was always there for me

Guess what? These are all coaching behaviors.

The evidence is clear that these behaviors contribute to trust, passion, and performance at work. (See footnotes for links to research.)

As a part of preparing managers and leaders to go through our Coaching Essentials class, we ask them to assess their own natural tendencies and behaviors. For example, we ask them:

• To what extent are you a role model for the behaviors you expect in others?
• How much time do you spend building positive relationships with your direct reports?
• How natural is it for you to collaborate?
• How frequently do you listen more than talk and avoid distractions when listening?

Our goal is for participants to gain a deep understanding of their own habits and assumptions—and get completely clear about how to work against those tendencies to effectively use the coaching process and refine their skills.

It becomes apparent to all participants—even before they set foot in class—that with these questions we are essentially asking them to become their best possible selves. In fact, we have had participants in class narrow their eyes at us and say “You’re asking me to become a better person, aren’t you?”

This always gets a laugh, because it is kind of true. But only kind of. We aren’t saying you have to become a better person or get a personality transplant before you can be a good coach. That would be absurd and impossible. What we are saying is, when you put your coach hat on, you need to really behave yourself. You have to redirect your own impulses and needs and put the person you are coaching first.

This is hard but doable—and it requires a fundamental shift in mindset. Before a manager or leader can be an effective coach, they must commit to applying uncommon amounts of self awareness, self regulation, and discipline. Coaching is, ultimately, a service the leader provides to the employee.

If I had to choose the one thing that makes the biggest difference for managers, it would be the shift in mindset from “I’m the boss, do what I say” to “I am in service to you and I will do everything in my power to help you be successful.” Managers who use coaching as part of their toolkit are stepping up to become their best possible selves.

Footnotes:

In their 2006 research paper Keen to Help? Managers’ Implicit Person Theories and Their Subsequent Employee Coaching, Peter Heslin, Don Vandewalle, and Gary Latham noted that manager coaching can facilitate employee development and performance, can have a positive impact on productivity, and can inspire improvements in an employee’s ability to master their projects and tasks.

In his paper A Strategic Approach to Coaching in Organizations: A Case Study (2012) Paul Steven Turner found that a coaching style can “directly and significantly impact favorably on the bottom line” through increased sales, better customer service, and improved productivity.

New 2017 research by The Ken Blanchard Companies titled Coaching Skills: The Missing Link for Leaders found that leaders who are perceived as using coaching behaviors (Facilitating, Inspiring, and Guiding) create a sense of positive work affect or emotion in their followers and that individuals who perceive their managers as exhibiting coaching behaviors are more likely to trust their leaders.

For example, based on an emotional reaction, a client of mine recently responded to a colleague in a defensive and aggressive manner during a team meeting. My client was impatient and frustrated about the questions her colleague was asking her. The meeting ended with hurt feelings on both sides and the problem remained unsolved.

Emotions can drive intentional and unintentional behaviors during any time of the year. The key is to be aware of your emotions, identify what is triggering a specific emotion, and manage them.

It is not always easy to manage your own emotions in addition to someone else’s emotions.  It takes an increased awareness and a quick strategy to foster a positive outcome.

Here are a few strategies to manage your emotions in case you’re feeling the strain.

1. Move. If possible, instead of responding impulsively to an emotional trigger, go for a walk or do a few stretches to release the tension and consider your best response.
2. Breathe. To remain calm, take a deep breath just before responding.
3. Smile. Smiling builds connection and helps you empathize with the other person.
4. State your emotion. Be open about how you are feeling, which will lessen the intensity of the emotion.
5. State the emotion you perceive from the other person. Let the person know you sense they are angry (or upset, sad, etc.). This will help engage the person in communicating and owning what they are feeling.

Awareness of your emotions allows you to effectively express your feelings and control your behaviors.  For example, I recently needed to cause myself to be patient as a colleague passionately expressed her frustrations about a process. I tried several times to interject and explain specifics about the process that was frustrating her—but she was not hearing me.  She was only focused on expressing her thoughts.  As a result of reading her emotions, I forced myself to be patient so she felt heard.  Once she was able to tell her story, I asked her a few questions about the process.  We began to engage in a conversation because she was now able to focus in and listen … finally!

It took added time and energy on my part to manage my emotions along with those of my colleague.  The final outcome was a productive two-way conversation that led to a solution.

As human beings, we all have emotions—and we have the ability to manage our emotions.  The key is to find the strategy that is best for you!

Happy Holidays!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Then again, truth can be hard to define. Thomas J. Leonard, a pioneer in the coaching field, identifies some distinctions on truth in his book The Portable Coach:

—Not all truth is provable by standard measurements.

—A personal truth may not be provable by facts.

—Truth may change and evolve over time.

As coaches, we help clients recognize their personal truths, develop self-awareness, and have the courage to take positive risks. We create a safe environment where people can tell the truth without fear of negative consequences. But even with this encouragement, clients aren’t always as truthful as they could be.

So how can coaches encourage more truth-telling behavior among our clients?  Here’s a 3-step process I use:

1. Pay attention to the client’s tone of voice and energy level—and question statements that don’t ring true.
2. When it sounds like a client is spinning a tale, it is okay to interject and challenge them.
3. Challenge by asking, not telling, since even the best coaches can be off base. You can do this by repeating the client’s statement back to them and asking them how it sounds.

I’ve had a number of clients burst out laughing when they hear their own statement repeated back to them. They often realize that they have convinced themselves of something that may not be true or is an outdated belief.

Give this process a try. Once people recognize the truth, the most natural response is to start changing behavior to align with it. Celebrate the truth and the freedom that comes from being honest with ourselves!

About the Author

Kathleen Martin is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Martin’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

For the first time since high school, I am enrolled in an art class: Mosaics in the Indirect Method.

I spend Tuesday evenings in a huge studio surrounded by shelves replete with bins upon bins of colored glass and tiles. I am learning to use wheeled nippers and side biters to create my shapes. I’ve drawn sketches of what I want to create, and am already aware of the new ways that I think about light, texture, and composition.

Although I’m only halfway through the course and my completed work is a month away, I am struck by how aligned this creative process is with the work I do as a coach.

Here are some thoughts:

The process of learning something new has its own rewards. It is humbling to be a true beginner! I’ve chosen to enjoy the process and benefit from the instruction of the teacher. I’ve learned new words such as tesserae (tile shapes), andemento (movement and flow), and yes, even wheeled nippers! I’m in a new environment—an artist’s studio—with other students who all have more experience than I do. I benefit from observing them and I appreciate their encouragement.

The first-time managers I coach have a similar experience in their work environments. I can see how adopting the perspective of being a learner is freeing for them and facilitates their success.

Pieces can be rearranged. In my class I can lay out all the pieces from which to select. What size tesserae should I use here—or here? How shall I represent the leaves on this tree? Because the grout hasn’t yet been applied, I can move and place the pieces again and again.

When I am coaching executives, we work together to assess their strengths and then choose which strengths to lead with in different scenarios. Not every strength “piece” needs to be in the foreground.

Sometimes you have to step back. Perspective isn’t just for artists! Yes, stepping back helps me see my creation from a new angle—and it is just as important for a leader in the workplace. It is great when leaders ask themselves Am I too close to this? What am I not seeing? How can I get a new perspective here?

What you plan may not be what you create. This is an expected truth for a first time mosaicist, but I think it is often true in work settings, too. As a leader works with a team, requesting and then listening to input from team members may shift the plan—and the shift is often for the better. Plans are good, but involving others is essential. Trust that.

Take a break. In the studio, I find it is sometimes good to walk away from my project. I stretch, get some tea, and enjoy viewing the progress of the other students’ work. When I return to my workstation, I have renewed energy and a fresh outlook on my own project. The same holds true at work! A job can be satisfying, frustrating, and a lot of things in between. But as valuable as it is, it shouldn’t be everything in your life. Take a break!

I know I’ll be experiencing more insights as I complete the second half of the course and my completed work will be a great reminder of what I’ve learned along the way. How about you? What have you learned as a student that has made you better at facilitating the success of others? Please share in the comments section.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

To assess whether the coach has the level of competence we need, we always have them coach one of our senior staff members. Rookie coaches who really don’t know what they are doing stand out like a sore thumb during this exercise even though most are very well meaning. Their lack of experience usually shows up in one of nine ways.

You can tell someone is a rookie coach when they:

1. Worry too much about creating relationship. Clients tend to give a new coach the benefit of the doubt as long as they perceive the coach to be competent and caring. Coaches don’t need to spend hours getting every detail of a client’s life history.
2. Ask too many questions to satisfy their own curiosity rather than getting to the heart of the matter. Good coaches sift quickly for what is relevant and ignore the noise.
3. Let the client go on too long about their story. The narrative is important insofar as the coach or client needs it to write the ending—but detailed plot twists just waste time.
4. Ask a bunch of why questions to assess motive and purpose. Many people being coached don’t know the why of anything and will go in circles trying to figure it out. Why is to be used on very rare occasions to help the client get through layers to reach what’s real and true.
5. Get too hung up on accountability. Holding people accountable is taught aggressively in many coaching schools. To be fair, some clients really want and need it—but many don’t. So it’s wise to check instead of insisting on an annoying practice that can come off as parental.
6. Step over opportunities to challenge the client about attitudes, beliefs, or potentially unproductive behavior. It takes some courage but it is part of the job. I have worked with clients who said they had worked with other coaches they characterized as being “too nice.”
7. Ignore inklings that the client is not getting value from a coaching session or engagement.
8. Take the client to task if they haven’t done their homework. Coaches aren’t schoolteachers grading people on compliance. If a client doesn’t do what they say they will do, it is a useful sign that they tend to overpromise and underdeliver, aren’t working on the right goals, or aren’t as committed to the goal as they thought. All of these are potential data points the coach can use to move the person forward.
9. Fall for it when a client asks “What do you think I should do? or “What would you do?” Coaches can and should definitely share useful proven models, concepts, and general rules of thumb to help a client think through and make sound decisions—but a coach’s actual opinion is rarely germane. If a coach does share an opinion, they should name and claim it as their opinion, and be ready to explain what the opinion is based on, whether it is experience or research.

Everybody has to start somewhere, but the challenge we face in providing coaches to executives in organizations is the need to put our most experienced and effective coaches in front of clients. For us, learning on the job is something we can’t afford. The good news is that new coaches can move ahead much more quickly by identifying any of these possible errors in their own approach and practicing alternative approaches that are more beneficial to clients.

With practice, new coaches will soon find themselves having the productive engagements that we—and all coaching organizations—look for.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In The Ken Blanchard Companies Situational Leadership® II training program, we teach that a Disillusioned Learner (D2) development level is part of the natural progression of learning any task that involves some challenge.

We all typically start a new task or goal with a level of interest, excitement, and sometimes unrealistic expectations. Most people overestimate their transferrable skills. “This will be easy” is a typical comment from people at development level one (D1), the Enthusiastic Beginner. It is easy to be optimistic when you don’t have a true understanding of what it will take to be successful. I have a tee shirt that reads “Confidence is the feeling you have when you don’t fully grasp the situation.” That is a classic description of an Enthusiastic Beginner.

We move to the Disillusioned Learner stage when we know enough to be discouraged—and that is a good thing! It is a much more realistic place, even though it is not fun. At this D2 stage you may feel frustrated with your lack of progress or even overwhelmed with what it will take to move forward. You get stuck on a problem because you don’t have the knowledge or skills to solve it yet. If you ask your leader for help, they may be so focused on not micromanaging you that they simply express confidence in you and tell you that you will succeed. Nice—but not helpful at this stage.

So why celebrate disillusionment? The best reason is that it means you are learning something new and challenging yourself! If you are an expert at everything you do, you are not learning. Disillusionment also means you have more knowledge about the task than you did at D1. It means you are moving forward even though you may feel like you are in reverse.

But celebrating disillusionment does not mean you should linger there.  Here are some suggestions for helping yourself move through the D2 stage:

1. When you feel discouraged, frustrated with your lack of progress, or stuck on a problem you can’t solve, remember that you are at D2 and this is a normal part of the learning process. There is a way through it.
2. Keep forward momentum by seeking out what you need when you are at D2: You need someone to listen to your frustrations and not judge you. You need a mentor who will show you how to solve a problem and ask you for your ideas. And if you have an idea that is off track, you need to be told why it may not work so that you can learn.
3. Keep your eyes focused on your goal. Imagine how you will feel when you are fully competent, motivated, and confident about your ability to do the task.

With some persistence (and the right leadership style from a knowledgeable manager) you will move through the D2—Disillusioned Learner stage, on to D3—Capable but Cautious Performer, and finally to D4—Self Reliant Achiever.

And while you know that you will experience D2 again as soon as you challenge yourself with that next big learning opportunity, you’ll also remember how you got through it last time. Lifelong learners know how to welcome D2 and see it as simply a short pause on the road to D4.

Enjoy the journey!

About the Author

Kathleen Martin is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Martin’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In it, Angela writes “Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it.” She elaborates on the two components of grit: passion and perseverance. Grit is more about commitment, endurance, and consistency over time than it is about talent.

Grit is needed to accomplish goals—especially stretch goals—and to change behavior. When I first started thinking of people who have grit, I thought about the TV shows Spartan Race and American Ninja Warrior. The participants and athletes in those competitions must have grit in order to fail and come back again and again.

Grit also applies to Olympic athletes. Consider the grit displayed when a young girl commits at an early age to be one of the best gymnasts at the Olympics—like Simone Biles and Laurie Hernandez on the 2016 US Olympic Gymnastics team.

In another way, grit can come into play when we are coaching clients toward achieving their goals. It begins with helping them create a SMART goal they are passionate about that will cause them to stay committed and consistent over time. For example, a client had a goal to take a situational approach to leadership in order to create a high performing team.

We discussed the passion and motivation the client had to become a situational leader. We also discussed his perseverance and commitment to intentionally flex his leadership style regardless of high pressure situations. The coaching lead him to  increase his commitment by creating a structure to remind himself to flex his leadership style, identifying accountability partners, and asking for regular feedback from his team. Over time, the client increased his grit to be a situational leader—and subsequently increased his success.

Could a rediscovery of your own grit level help? You can apply grit principles to your goals by answering these questions:

• What is the motivation for this goal?
• Is this a goal that will stand the test of time?
• Are you passionate enough to remain committed if you start getting distracted by other ideas or goals?
• What will cause you to hold steadfast to this goal?

I think you’ll find that when you increase your level of grit, you’ll set yourself up for success—just like my client.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

In their book Coaching in Organizations, master certified coaches Madeleine Homan Blanchard and Linda Miller devote a chapter to tips that help ensure a productive coaching relationship and also create a nurturing environment for the person being coached.

In addition to making sure the potential coachee has a clear understanding of what to expect from the coach as well as the coaching process, the authors recommend that anyone pursuing a coaching relationship have seven additional qualities.

Ever wonder if you would be a good candidate for coaching?  How would you score yourself in these seven areas?

1. I am enthusiastic about the concept of continuous professional development and learning.
2. I am willing and able to identify at least one key area in which I can commit to change.
3. I am open to finding a minimum of one hour of company time per week to speak to my coach.
4. I am willing to share openly about myself and my perceptions with someone outside the company.
5. I am an early adopter of new ideas and behaviors.
6. I see myself as a trailblazer, risk taker, or leader.
7. I am fundamentally proud of working at my organization.

A successful coaching relationship is not something that should be entered into lightly.  A person being coached not only must have a clear sense of what is to be gained from the investment of time, but also must be prepared to enter into a full partnership with their coach.

So—are you coachable?  Would you add any other characteristics/statements to this list? Use the comments section below!

But that’s not all. Leaders who use coaching skills are more likely to retain their key people as well as have more productive teams. This in turn generally translates into a positive effect on the organization’s bottom line. When the leader uses a coach approach to foster direct reports’ development, everyone benefits.

One of the key areas that Zenger and Stinnett focus on is conversation, which they look at from two aspects:

1. What should we talk about?
2. How was that for you?

Both of these questions get at a major source of problems when managers and direct reports have one-on-one conversations. First, rarely are the conversations about a topic the direct report wants to discuss. (Most managers discuss what is important to them as a leader and assume that it is also of value to the team member.) Second, leaders rarely ask for feedback after the conversation to see if it met the needs of the direct report. As a result, one-on-one meetings are hardly ever as effective as they could be.

The best coaches—and the best leaders—know that the greatest amount of personal change occurs when it is a partnership. From a leader’s perspective this means talking less and listening more. It also means learning how to ask effective coaching questions and how to be in service of their people’s ongoing development.

Specifically, Zenger and Stinnett recommend that leaders use a Coaching Topic Checklist as a tool for structuring one-on-one conversations. Their approach is to have the direct report choose from a series of possible topics ranging from, “The progress I am making in my career,” to “How I could contribute more to the organization,” and even more tactical like, “How to handle a specific challenge.”

Through it all, they suggest leaders consider a coaching mind-set, which promotes discovery and growth and frequent stops to check in for feedback on effectiveness.

Many people would say that their best managers were those who used a coach approach to partner with them in achieving their goals. Do you currently use a coach approach when interacting with your people? If not, could it be time to learn? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Essentially, the first order of business when you set out to work with a coach is to establish where you are right now: Point A. This requires a cold, hard look at your current reality.

Next, figure out the place you want to end up in the not-too-distant future: Point B. Your coach may start with the question What will be different in six months because of the changes you are about to make?

Once you are clear on Points A and B, you and your coach can put together a plan. When creating the plan, it is important to choose areas where change is actually possible—you want to set goals that may require you to stretch but not ones that would require a personality transplant. This is what’s called “reaching for low hanging fruit.” You can’t ask a chicken to climb a tree. Ask yourself: What can I do—maybe with a little extra direction and support—that makes sense for me?

During the conception of the plan, your coach will help you figure out not only how to leverage your strengths and stay engaged, but also how to choose goals that feel fun and exciting to you. You will gain some clarity about your weaknesses and learn to mitigate them and work around them. You may decide to shore up an area in which you are weak—but I recommend working on only one weak area at a time. Better to leverage strengths.

As the coaching sessions progress, you’ll find yourself stumbling over some attitudes or beliefs that have been holding you back—blind spots, if you will. You’ll think through and perhaps shift some long-held perspectives. Finally, you’ll uncover some new emerging strengths you can build on.

When the coaching is drawing to a close, you will review with your coach everything you have accomplished and what you have learned along the way. This will reinforce changes you have made and highlight new habits you have established.

In the crazy rush of everyday life, it can be really hard to stay focused on the stuff that is important but not necessarily urgent. Ultimately, that is what coaching will help you do.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

One challenge organizations face is when individual contributors, who are Self-Reliant Achievers in most of their work, are tapped for leadership roles.  While they may be experts in their previous individual role, they are rarely at the Self-Reliant Achiever level when they move into their first leadership position.

More realistically they start out as beginners commencing a long leadership development learning journey.  This shift from being master of their previous universe to “wet behind the ears” can often be challenging.  If new leaders don’t recognize that they aren’t, nor should they expect to be self-reliant it can create self-doubt.  And self-doubt can eat away at their confidence which can hinder needed learning.

As a coach—or anyone helping someone else step up to leadership for the first time, here are a few ways you can help someone along that journey.

Set reasonable expectations.  Growing and developing leadership skills is a learning journey. Recognizing that can help.  Truly acknowledging that our first attempts will likely not be our best attempts allows us to give ourselves the “grace” to be a learner.

Practice, practice, practice.  We don’t learn through osmosis or simply by knowing.  We learn by applying what we know.  We try, fail, and if we are smart, get up and try again taking note of what we did right.

Ask for help.  We need to embrace our role as a learner and courageously ask others for help and guidance.  Learn from our boss, or a mentor, or those who have leadership skills we admire.  When asked, most relish the opportunity to share their wisdom.  Let’s not struggle in silence.

In working with clients, I’ve always believed the old saying Success is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. When you lead, mentor or coach a first-time manager, let them know that learning to be an effective leader requires a lot of effort—and it will only be harder if they become their own worst enemy. Help them realize they will need to give themselves a break and understand there is no quick or easy path to skilled leadership.  Actually I think we all need to remember this because in today’s rapidly changing world –learning something new is likely a common occurrence.

What are your thoughts and experiences about coaching new leaders?

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I’m one of two managers at a small company.

Recently, a couple of the other manager’s employees shared some feedback with me—in confidence—that their manager is micromanaging them and doing other things that make their jobs more stressful and less enjoyable. 

None of them are willing to bring this to their manager and they want me to..

I’m uncomfortable bringing it to her because I don’t think it would be well received. And I don’t want to go to my boss because I’ve said negative things about her before and I don’t want to seem like I’m competitive or have a vendetta. At this point I’m planning on doing nothing, but I know that’s not what’s best for the organization. Help! 

-Good Intentions

Dear Good Intentions,

I recently heard the expression “Not my circus, not my monkey.” It made me laugh out loud. You need to make this expression your mantra right now.

I love your plan. It is an excellent plan. Do nothing is exactly what you should do.

You are dead right on almost every count. It would not be well received for you to give the offending manager the feedback. Even if he or she were your best friend in the world, it would be impossible.

I disagree that your going to upper management with the feedback would be what’s best for the organization. In my opinion, what would be best for the organization is for employees to be able to give feedback to their boss or, worst case, their boss’s boss. The kind of workaround you are suggesting would just set the stage for more gossip and whining.

Ultimately, there is simply no upside for you to take on this monkey. However, here is what you can do: encourage the complainers to complain to someone who can do something about the problem. It is incumbent upon them to share the feedback with their manager—and the next time they come to you, you must tell them that. You need to draw a boundary and not allow them to complain to you about anything but you or your people. If they continue to wuss out, tell them they should go to their boss’s boss. If they refuse to do that, they are on their own. They can continue to be victims of their own cowardice and suffer in silence. Plenty of people do it.

If I were your coach, I would ask you a few challenging questions:

• What are you doing that makes another manager’s employees think it is okay to talk to you instead of their own manager?
• How are you implicitly condoning the behavior of these employees?
• Are there other areas of your life where you take on problems that aren’t really yours to solve? If the answer is yes, what does it get you other than more headaches?

As you may have heard, no good deed goes unpunished. Heroics from you at this point will probably not help anyone or anything to get better—and will probably hurt you. Stay focused on your own circus and your own monkeys, and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I remember the first time my coach shared the problem of the why question with me. My eyes opened wide and I felt as if I had just been let in on a big leadership secret. I knew this new knowledge would help catapult my communication effectiveness to the next level.

I spent several months eradicating the word why from my language, and it did help. Challenging conversations were, well, less challenging.

Yet in certain situations, something was missing. I didn’t feel as though I was getting to the root of the difficulties some clients were facing. It wasn’t until I read Simon Sinek’s Start with Why, Edward Deci’s, Why We Do What We Do and, finally, Susan Fowler’s Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work—and What Does that I realized what the problem was.

The very reason we refrain from asking why questions is also the reason they can be so powerful: they engage both emotional and cognitive levels in a way that other questions don’t. Used carefully and appropriately, why questions can help clients get unstuck and cause a shift by identifying basic psychological needs of Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence.

When appropriate, here are five ways to mindfully use a why question:

1. When a person is stuck and helplessly procrastinating or placing obstacles in the way, ask a question such as Why do you think you’re holding on to the status quo? Use a caring, nonjudgmental tone.
2. Be prepared to ask a question starting with why up to five times. This is known as the Power of Why technique, which is helpfully described in Fowler’s book.
3. Listen for ways to connect values to the desired end state. Ask clients how they can reframe the situation so values remain intact.
4. Listen for psychological needs being undermined. Ask clients how they could be reconnected in a different way. For example, if the quarterly sales meeting has been canceled due to cost saving and your client is complaining about that lack of connection, ask how else they might get that relatedness with colleagues.
5. Finally, ask permission to use the Power of Why. This helps take out any feeling of being judged the client might have.

I don’t often use why in my everyday language—but when I do, I use it thoughtfully and mindfully to open up new possibilities.  As a coach, consider whether a why question might open up new possibilities for you as well.

 About the Author

Judith Donin is a Senior Consulting Partner and Professional Services Mentor for North America with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Judith’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Here are some suggestions on how coaches and mentors can facilitate more aha moments:

It’s all in the timing. Most of us tend to try to push insights so we can get to the next thing. Wait for it. Pause and allow silence in the conversation. The timing for aha moments is unpredictable.

Know when to nudge. This may sound contradictory to suggestion #1, but it really isn’t. When we truly pay attention to the person being coached, we can sense when they are on the cusp of an insight, but holding back. Some indicators are responses such as “yes, but…” We can help move people past the “yes but” place by asking challenging questions such as “What is the cost of staying put?” or “What is the benefit of moving forward?”

Notice energy. There are many indicators of the aha moment. When meeting in person, we can often see the change in facial expression from puzzled to happy. Even on the phone we can hear a change in voice or feel a shift in energy. The aha moment releases pent-up energy much like an opening in a dam releases water: it allows the person to move forward.

Celebrate success! So often, we rush to whatever is next on our to-do list without taking time to bask in the glow of the new insight. Celebration can be simply taking five minutes to allow the new awareness to sink in. If you are the coach, make a big deal out of it! A client’s shift in awareness is often the payoff for a job well done by the coach.

Cement the learning and establish clear next steps. Challenge the individual to create a specific action plan to bring their insights to life. Many aha moments open a door to a new direction. Encourage your client to step through the door and establish the path to the goal.

Think of the last time you experienced an aha moment. Remember the joy of finding clarity on something important? As a coach or mentor, you have the opportunity to facilitate these moments in others every time you practice your craft. It’s a gift your client will not forget.

About the Author

Kathleen Martin is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Martin’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This Coaching Tuesday guest post is by Judith Donin.

I recently found myself sitting beside a young entrepreneur on a flight, and we started chatting. His business was at a crossroads and he was seeking a mentor for help getting unstuck. When he noticed my study books, the topic turned to coaching. Then he asked me an interesting question: “What’s the difference between a coach and a mentor?” Since that conversation, I have spent many hours thinking about the differences between these two roles and the benefits of each in our lives.

Here are my thoughts:

A mentor…

• has pretty much walked in your shoes and can give you the benefit of their experience;
• can teach you unwritten rules and norms;
• often works in the same industry as you do, so there’s a perceived contextual understanding; and
• has useful contacts they can introduce you to.

A mentor can tell you what to do when you don’t know. But your mentor is not you—and a mentor may urge you to follow a path that isn’t one you would normally choose.

A qualified coach…

• follows a process within your conversation to help you draw out your own thinking;
• has no attachment to the outcome—only a goal that you achieve your aspirations;
• has the skills to really listen to you—and pays attention to both verbal and nonverbal communication;
• dares to challenge you and ask questions that others may be unwilling or afraid to ask; and
• gives you a sense that your psychological needs are being met (Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence).

But a coach will not tell you what to do. Instead, a coach will allow you to you discover the answer for yourself.

So what is best for you?  I’d like for you to consider the possibility of both. My career never felt as balanced and productive as when I had both a coach and a mentor—each playing a separate role. Here are my top six tips to follow when seeking both:

When choosing a mentor:

• Ideally, find someone in the same organization—they will be able to teach you how things get done.
• Select someone you admire who has credibility in your organization.
• Select someone who has a sense of your role; ideally, someone who has been in your role or very close to it.
• Select someone you can serve in turn. Think creatively here—does the person yearn to have exposure in your region? Could you read and comment on their research?

When choosing a coach:

• Ideally, select someone outside your industry. You are looking for an outsider’s perspective.
• Select someone you know will be straight with you and use language you will understand and respect.

Make 2016 the year you choose a personal team that will help you achieve your goals and aspirations. Looking for someone to show you the ropes? Consider a mentor who can point the way. Looking for someone to bring out the brilliance already inside you? A coach may be the answer—someone who is trained to listen judgment free and to ask, not tell. Whatever path you choose—or both—you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish with the help of people who care.

PS: In case you were wondering about the entrepreneur, he succeeded in getting unstuck. As it turned out, he had the answers within. We had a 20-minute coaching session as the plane descended

About the author

Judith Donin is a senior consulting partner, executive coach, and professional services mentor for North America with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

#5.  My Boss Is a Jerk

Dear Madeleine, My boss is a total jerk. I don’t know how else to say it. He obviously doesn’t like me or respect me. The problem is, I really love my job. I am good at it and have great relationships with my direct reports…

#4.  Help! I Inherited My Team 

Dear Madeleine, I am at my wits’ end. I worked hard in college and graduate school and have what some people might call a “Type A” personality. I take on a lot, I work really hard and I complete my work by the agreed-upon deadline…

#3.  I Don’t Think I Really Want to Be a Manager

Dear Madeleine, I think I have made a big mistake. I have been a manager for about five years. At first I enjoyed the challenge, and I have worked hard to become a really good manager. I get good reviews from my people and excellent performance reviews from my boss…

#2. What Do I Do With A Good Employee Whose Performance Is Deteriorating?

Dear Madeleine, I have an excellent employee who has been working for me for over three years. She has always had a good attitude and she meets her deadlines, turns out reliable work product, and gets along with others—truly a model employee…

#1. What if My Boss REALLY IS Trying to Get Rid of Me?

Dear Readers, I got so much mail about my last post, I Think My Boss is Trying to Get Rid of Me, that I want to address the essence of the comments, which is: What if it’s actually true?

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I have an employee who is borderline insubordinate and unquestionably insolent. The issue is that she is a hot-and-cold employee—possibly suffering from depression. Instead of listening when I try to help her with her challenges at work, she verbally attacks me. How do I supervise someone who is hostile one day and yet anxious to learn another day? She asked for a new supervisor, but no one wants to supervise her because they know how unpredictable both she and her work are. —Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

This situation sounds really hard. We all spend a lot of time at work, and everyone goes through rough patches when it’s difficult to be well behaved. You clearly have had to use extra self-regulation to deal with such a prickly employee!

First things first—you mentioned a possible diagnosis of depression. There are legal restrictions and consequences that you need to be aware of. For example, in the US, mental disabilities are covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Since I have no way of knowing whether your employee has requested any accommodations or whether there are extenuating circumstances, I can’t really help you there. You will need to sit down with your human resources partner and learn the rules as dictated by your company’s policy and the employment laws in your geographical area.

That being said, there are some things you can do to keep yourself healthy and thriving.

1. Set some general ground rules. You are entitled to protect yourself from irrational behavior and to do this, you need to define some clear hard-and-fast rules you can stick to when things get rough. To do this, you have to decide for yourself the type of behavior you are—and are not—willing to put up with. Some examples of language to use:

• “You’re allowed to have a bad day. Let me know when you are having one and I will steer clear of giving you feedback.”
• “Under no circumstances are you allowed to verbally attack me, no matter how upset you are.”
• “We can disagree, but neither of us is allowed to get personal.”
• “There is never a good reason to raise voices at work.”
• “It is my job to give you feedback on your work—both developmental and positive—and I need to be able to do that without upset.”
• “If I experience you being rude to me, I will point it out and ask you to stop. You may do the same with me.”

When your employee is having a good day, strike while the iron is cool—meaning not when she is worked up. Sit down with her, share how committed you are to her success, and share the rules of engagement with her. Say that you can both refer back to the rules when things get tense.

2. Defend your boundaries. Once you have set up the rules you will have to defend them, which may be unpleasant. So make them clear and enforceable—and then be ready to say “No, we agreed this is not allowed” in a neutral tone when you have to.
3. Be kind and tell the truth. The next time your employee brings up getting another supervisor, tell her the truth that no one else is interested in managing her because of how unpredictable she is. Remind her that the two of you have had your good moments together, you have her best interests at heart, and you are committed to working things out.

Finally, you may never win with this person—and if you don’t, it won’t be your fault. Your use of the words insolent and insubordinate lead me to think that you believe she should show you only deference and respect. You may not be able to shift that belief enough to make an allowance for her erratic behavior. But you can only change yourself—you will not be able to change her. It’s very possible that you may not be able to tolerate this situation long term. If you think that is the case, I would recommend you work with human resources, put your employee on a performance plan, and take the steps necessary to move her out of the organization.

Good luck to you.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

While everyone agrees that coaching is a good thing, there is disagreement about how, when, and where coaching should be applied. Here are some myths and misconceptions we have been examining.  How many of these statements do you agree with?

1. Coaching takes a lot of time
2. As the coach, I have to be a subject matter expert and know the job/role/task of my direct report in detail
3. There is one best way to coach
4. Anyone can be a coach

Let’s break it down.

Does coaching take time? Yes. Does it take a lot of time? Sometimes. Other times, a well placed, open ended question can break someone open to new thinking and new possibilities.  In fact, my client and I compared the time it took her to repeat instructions versus the time it took to coach the same people to a better outcome. Turns out that coaching took a lot less time!

Do I need to be a subject matter expert to coach my direct report? No. Of course, your client wants you to have a good grasp of what they do. Once you have that, though, you need to be someone who can facilitate good outcomes rather than someone who knows every little twist and turn of the job. Let go of problem solving. Instead, focus on listening deeply and asking open ended questions and you will succeed.

Is there one best way to coach? Yes. It’s the way that works best for the person you are coaching. A scripted approach will never work as well as being fully present and listening deeply.  Every person is different. Pay attention and respond accordingly. That’s the model that works.

Can anyone be a coach? Well, yes, and no. Yes, anyone can learn to be a coach or to use coaching skills, but not everyone has the patience or desire to do it well.

How do these answers match up with your experience? Do you notice a common theme running through those four responses?  You probably noticed that coaching is about being in service to the growth and development of the person being coached. As a leader, if that excites you and drives your leadership engine, then coaching skills are an appropriate and successful addition to your leadership development plan.

To learn more about the Blanchard approach to developing these new skills, check out Blanchard’s Coaching Essentials for Managers information page.  It’s a great way to get started.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a great team at a large construction engineering firm. I feel that my boss is being taken advantage of by a couple of my peers who report to him. My boss travels a lot, so he is never here to see what really goes on, but I see people coming in late, leaving early, and claiming that their plate is full and they can’t take on more work when I know they are on their computers trolling shopping sites for deals. Meanwhile, I keep taking on more and more.

My team is, and I am, really at capacity in terms of workload and I am getting resentful.  Should I rat people out? I really don’t want to, but this situation is getting out of hand. 

– Don’t Want to be a Rat

Dear Don’t Want to be a Rat,

I totally understand your frustration – I do – it stinks to be working like a dog while others are goofing around.  But the answer is not to rat out your slacking peers.  I can pretty much guarantee that it will not get you the result you want.  One question I would ask is this: what metrics does your boss use to measure performance? Is your team crushing the numbers vis a vis the other teams? For a lot of managers these days, hours and work styles are less important than actual performance. Teams are measured by the outcomes they reach more than by lesser variables such as time spent, attendance and the degree to which they shop online at work. In fact, studies have shown that when employees are allowed shop online, they tend to work harder—often coming in earlier and staying later because they don’t have to use off-work time to shop.

Ratting is really only to be used as a last resort in the case of ethical violations or serious matters that could risk people’s safety or cause great harm to the firm.  Why?  Because you might be seen as petty minded, judgmental, or interfering by your boss, who—to make things worse—might not like being told how to do his job. You might even end up ratting on someone who could get promoted and be your boss in the future. Ratting could earn you a reputation that follows you for your entire career.  The ultimate truth is that nobody likes a rat, and the cost of ratting is often high. So if you are going to risk it, only do it in dire circumstances.

But.  You have to do something because, as it is said, holding on to resentment is like taking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.  So. Here is what you can do: take care of yourself, your people, and your corner of the yard.  Set proper boundaries and don’t take on more work than is fair. Put your attention on your people and support them to do impeccable work so your team rises above the average performance of others.

Channel your anger into doing an amazing job and do anything you can to let go of your anger—because ultimately, it hurts only you.  Good luck.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

My favorite thing he said was something that reminded me of a story I heard Sheryl Sandberg tell a couple of years ago on one of her Lean In videos. In her role as COO at Facebook, she was faced with a big decision. She looked to CEO Mark Zuckerberg for input—but instead of giving her his opinion, or even an answer, he asked her, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I was thunderstruck. I wrote it on a sticky note, put it on my bulletin board, and have used that question to guide my decisions ever since. At Facebook they have it on posters all over the campus.

What would I do if I weren’t afraid?

Here is why I love it so much: it is the ultimate coaching question. Because it cuts right to the fact that most of us are afraid most of the time. Afraid we don’t have enough information. Afraid we don’t have enough education. Afraid we aren’t smart enough, creative enough, or simply enough.

Afraid we haven’t gotten enough advice, or the right advice, or advice from the best person. Afraid we will make the wrong decision. Afraid we will make the right decision but our boss won’t like it, or our people won’t accept it. Afraid that our mother, sister, father, or spouse will laugh at us. Afraid that the climate will shift so radically by the time we can get the decision implemented that it will all be moot.

I’m kind of kidding on that last one, but kind of not, too. There is so much to be afraid of—big things and little things; rational things and absurd things. But, as leaders, we can’t let this stop us because mostly, we make decisions.

So the next time you aren’t sure, and you are thinking of asking someone what you should do, stop and ask yourself the ultimate coaching question. See what your answer is.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

So what’s going on? Well, leaders can sometimes be unaware of what they should and should not be doing. And this lack of awareness separates good leaders from great leaders. Great leaders know that leading is a never-ending journey that can be filled with treacherous obstacles.

So what do you need to know to become a great leader?
 

1. People are unpredictable

Your direct report may not necessarily react the same way each and every time to you. And you yourself may also change from day to day. So always using the same style of leadership may not always yield the best results. Instead, great leaders tailor their approach to each task, situation, and individual to effectively meet the direct report’s needs. So find out how your direct report is doing and what’s going on in his/her life, and then use that knowledge to better inform how you lead him/her.

2. It takes skill

It’s easy to fall into a routine. That’s why we have habits. But as people are unpredictable, you must also be flexible in your style of leadership to be able to match in each unique situation. The best way to do this is to have a learning-oriented mindset, by being on the lookout for new approaches, practicing other styles of leadership to be more flexible, and keeping up-to-date on what’s going on with your direct reports, your organization, and beyond. A great leader will always say, “I have so much left to learn in being a leader!”
 

3. It takes time

Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t able to immediately improve your effectiveness as a leader. Remember, it’s a life-long journey. As with anything, leadership takes time and patience to perfect. And this means you should constantly be trying to improve and grow as an individual. There’s no finish line, but instead a continuous evolution of who you are as a leader, being able to serve your direct reports more and more effectively with each passing day.
 
Image Credit: 1 | 2 | 3

However, the right amount of direction and support is not as obvious to managers as you might think. Here are some dos and don’ts for dealing with a disillusioned direct report.

DON’T say “You shouldn’t feel that way.” This is a piece of unsolicited advice that devalues the person who has just admitted to fear, uncertainty, or a host of other emotions that shouldn’t be ignored.

DO acknowledge the learner’s feelings. Say “Thank you for sharing that. I’m confident I can support you.”

DON’T confuse a disillusioned development stage with incompetence or lack of caring. Everyone hits discouragement when performing a task they have never done before. Some go through this phase in the blink of an eye. Others have the potential to remain in this stage indefinitely. Observe carefully and act accordingly.

DO ask open ended questions. Sentences that begin with the words what, when, and how are a good start.

DON’T lead the witness. Keep solutions that seem obvious to you out of the discussion at first. Trust the person you are coaching to come up with reasonable, creative, and resourceful ways to address their concerns.

DO be prepared to use your reverse gear. Linda Miller, master certified coach and coauthor of the book Coaching in Organizations, recommends acknowledging when you say something in error—even if it is said with the best of intentions. Don’t be afraid to back up and start again.

DON’T belittle, ignore, or avoid conversations with learners who are smack in the middle of disillusionment on a task or goal. They need your direction and support to help them move forward.

DO revisit the goal whenever necessary. Clear agreements and a detailed description of the target help learners visualize a positive outcome. Show them what a good job looks like. Use examples and templates and be ready to identify additional resources to keep people on the right track.

Do you know somebody who could use a little help with a task or goal they might be struggling with?  As a leader, here are three questions you may want to ask yourself:

• What is my role in helping this person move from disillusioned to confident and competent?
• How do I know if I’m giving them the right amounts of direction and support?
• What else does this learner need from me right now?

Navigating through a disillusioned learner stage is difficult but natural. How you respond as the leader of a disillusioned learner will have a direct impact on what happens next.  Identify your role, take your time to decide on appropriate direction and support, and follow up to help your people grow.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I recently coached an ambitious sales person with ten direct reports after he attended a three-day Managing People workshop customized for his employer by The Ken Blanchard Companies.

This leader was very busy, working an average of twelve hours a day. Due to scheduling conflicts, we set his first coaching session three weeks after the workshop took place. Research indicates that you lose 70 percent of what you learn within one week if you don’t use it, so we started the session by clarifying his top two challenges.

The first challenge was that he wanted to contribute more to his company and achieve a higher leadership position. The second was his desire to have his direct reports take over more of the routine problem solving so he could better balance both his managing up and managing down duties.

I asked him, “From what you learned in the workshop, what do you think would help you with your priorities?”

After a little time with him not really answering the question, I gently asked again, “So in your opinion, which of the workshop concepts would help most with your priorities?”

It took a few more seconds of thought, but then the answer came to him: “I feel that I need to strengthen my relationships with both my boss and my direct reports.”

“How do you see this happening?” I asked.

“I think I can achieve it through the one-on-one meetings they talked about in the workshop,” he replied.

From there, he swiftly identified how implementing one-on-one meetings could help him both upstream and downstream:

1. Strengthening relationships through more communication: One-on-ones would allow him to spend more time with his boss learning about corporate projects and identifying opportunities where he could contribute more to the organization. The one-on-ones with his direct reports would help strengthen relationships by allowing a time to discuss their needs in a more scheduled way than through quick hallway consultations.

2. Improving competence all around: He could learn from his boss how to manage big picture items and projects, and his direct reports could gain competence through his increased direction, coaching and support to help them solve problems that arise from day-to-day operations.

3. Increasing delegation: As his direct reports’ competence improved, he could delegate more to them—and thereby open up time for him to be involved in big picture projects. Also, with the one-on-one meetings’ recommended best practice of the manager setting the time and the direct report setting the agenda, direct reports would become more empowered and would take more charge of the items under their responsibility.

4. Clarifying expectations: One-on-one meetings would also provide the occasion for him to clarify his direct reports’ goals as well as to provide feedback on desirable behaviors within the organization. Additionally, these meetings would present a great opportunity for him to catch his people doing things right!

One-on-meetings become time savers with the mentioned relevant benefits for all parties involved when used on a recurring basis. Follow these five tips for getting started:

1. Make one-on-one meetings short: 15 to 30 minutes in length.
2. The leader sets the meeting date and time and the direct report provides the agenda.
3. Meet at least once every two weeks.
4. Focus on what the direct report wants to talk about; i.e., progress reports, obstacles, concerns.
5. Show direct reports that meetings are valued and important by treating them as a priority. If a meeting has to be postponed, reschedule promptly.

It was fascinating how this leader—by identifying the need for one-on-one meetings with his supervisor—also recognized how this could help his direct reports. Need more time in your work life? Make sure one-on-one meetings are a managerial resource in your toolkit.

About the Author

Antonio Estrada, MBA, Certified Professional Coach is a member of Blanchard Coaching Services network of executive and leadership coaches.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This is a question we hear often from Blanchard clients. In a recent conversation with an organizational sponsor, I was asked to explain how Blanchard coaches were able to consistently help leaders in a high potential coaching program to make changes that stuck.

Our client knew all about the skills we used—listening, asking powerful questions that foster client insight, and a number of other techniques. What she really wanted to know was more about the engine behind the coaching.

The four-step coaching model Blanchard uses isn’t linear. It’s also not a script. There is a fluidity that comes with all great coaching, and it can be described in four simple and elegant elements.

The first step is to Connect. Connecting is about building rapport and trust. This is one of the most critical things a coach must do, and it takes only seconds. It’s more than what the coach says or does—it’s when they believe in their client. They care. They are interested, fully present, and in the moment. People intuitively know when a true connection exists. They can feel it. And they respond to it with trust and openness. Watch what happens when you stop multitasking and really, truly listen to the person you are talking to—you create a connection.

The second element is Focus. Last week my daughter walked in the door, upset. She’d had a bad experience driving on the freeway, her professor had assigned her to a workgroup she didn’t like, and she had missed out on a party over the weekend. As we sat and talked, it became clear these experiences were surface issues. The main reason for her distress? She was frustrated about a situation with a co-worker. Once she knew her focus, she was able to create a strategy for dealing with the person in question. Great coaching helps get to the root of a problem. It takes agility. It’s not uncommon for clients to start out talking about one thing and end up talking about another. Drilling down to the real subject at hand is a little like mining—you’ll know when you hit the mother lode.

Coaching, at its most effective, is also about change. A client may need to shift their attitude, adopt a new behavior, or get closure on a nagging issue. Whatever the change, encouraging clients to take action is key. Activate, the third element in Blanchard’s coaching model, is about identifying short term and long term actions that will move a client toward their objectives. It’s about closing gaps between a current state and a desired state. It takes courage  to stick with a client until they believe they can successfully take action and move toward their goals.

The final element in Blanchard’s coaching model is about gaining clear agreements. I recently became part of a new team that is learning how to collaborate. In every meeting, we Review what we’ve just agreed to. It’s astonishing how easily misunderstandings can happen. Spending time reviewing next steps, actions, timelines, and responsibilities can take diligence. The payoff is an agreement to specific outcomes along with a deeper commitment to taking appropriate and relevant action. As a coach, I often ask clients “What did we/you just agree to?” This gives them an opportunity to clarify the actions they will take in a specific time frame.

Looking to be more coach-like in your conversations? Take a coach approach—Connect, Focus, Activate, and Review. Engage in focused conversations that lead to desired change.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“Aren’t they the same thing?” she replied.

No.  They aren’t.

Coaching—or what you might know as Life, Business, Executive, or Leadership Coaching—has been around for about 30 years now.  Although many people understand generally what it is, there are still some misconceptions out there.  So what’s the difference between getting advice and getting coached?

The main difference is this: it’s not a coach’s job to give advice. No coach is smart enough or has the depth and breadth of knowledge to give perfect advice all the time.  Truth is, most people don’t want advice.  Even when the person being coached says “Tell me what you think I should do,” nobody really wants to be told what to do.

What most people really benefit from is a conversation to determine what the goal really is. This can sometimes be the hardest thing to clarify.  From there, they need a discussion about possibilities, obstacles, what options make the most sense, and what kind of support they need to accomplish the steps they have decided to take.

Advice is simply that.  Any sentence that starts with “You should…,” “I would…,” or “Why don’t you…” is advice.  And you can bet cold hard cash that in most cases, anything following those words will not be heard or heeded.

The beauty of coaching is that it uncovers what people already know in their hearts but maybe just needed a little digging to get to.  Giving advice is easy—in fact, I do it all day long for free.  Coaching requires skill and practice, and that’s why people pay for it.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Do you have a child, relative or friend embarking on the same journey? My advice as a coach (or a parent, mentor or friend) is to help them discover their journey.

Graduation brings with it a mixture of feelings from elation about a significant accomplishment to apprehension about what’s next. The elation may last a week or even a month, but it’s always followed by “What’s next for me?” concerns. Whether the decision is to continue on to a higher level of education or go directly into the workforce, the years following graduation are about exploring independence and passion. It’s a journey that requires reflection, exploration, and learning.

Coaching an individual is about leading a discovery process. A coach probes for deeper discovery by asking open ended questions that cause the coachee to pause and reflect—and the longer the pause, the better. Pauses provide time for decisions and actions that feel right and that have significance.

Below is a list of starter questions you can use to encourage reflection and a deeper level of thinking from the graduate you are coaching. Don’t feel that you have to use them all—one or two might become your go-to questions. Modify this list and put it in your own words, if you’d like.

• What do you find yourself wanting to learn and read more about? What types of careers are related to that area of study?
• What are you really good at? What are your natural gifts/talents?
• What do really want to avoid in your job or career?
• What is important for you to have in your career? For example: money, satisfaction, a career path, values, people, location, type of work?
• When you find yourself so focused that you lose track of time, what are you doing?
• If you could try out any job for a day, what would it be?

Each graduate is on their own path—and choosing a career that ultimately brings fulfillment and independence is what life is all about. As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.” Graduates are on a journey of reflection, exploration, and learning.

So when the door opens for a coaching conversation with a recent high school or college graduate, be prepared and jump in. That conversation could be the turning point that leads to a successful future!

About the Author

Joni Wickline is Vice President, Professional Services with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Wickline’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This idea of looking at things from many angles isn’t new—it’s behind concepts such as brainstorming and “outside the box” thinking.

Nevertheless, most of us can still fall prey to recycling—and thereby reinforcing—our standard ways of thinking. This happens more often if those methods have resulted in ongoing professional or personal success. The problem is that if we aren’t careful, we can get into a thinking rut.

Here are three ways to expand your thinking and avoid a rut:

• Challenge yourself to come up with a minimum of six options for looking at any particular situation. Make a deal with yourself that no option, no matter how farfetched, is initially off the table.

• Try to solve the problem so that you never have it again. For instance, if you’re getting ready to have a second or third conversation with a direct report about missing deadlines, think about how you can resolve the situation so you never have to have that conversation again.

• When you have a problem to solve and feel you’ve run out of options, ask yourself, “Who is the smartest person I know?” Then ask yourself, “What would that person do in this situation?”

Be warned. Often when people work to expand their thinking they begin to push against their own self-limiting thoughts, beliefs, and habits. If this happens to you, it can cause you to discount or even resist your new ideas.

Most positive change is preceded first by a change in how we view a situation.  As the saying goes “if nothing changes, nothing changes.” So I challenge you to strive to look at things in ways you never have before.  Who knows what amazing outcomes might be sparked.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every weekat Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

During our work together, the learning leaders and several senior leader pilot participants got into a fascinating debate about the qualities of a great coach.

One participant kept trying to get across his concept that the coach must have positive intent and must care about the person being coached, but seemed to have trouble finding the right language. He finally blurted out, “Loving. A coach should be—loving.”

There was silence in the room and then everybody turned to me, the subject matter expert. What could I say? First, I laughed—and then I admitted he was right. In my opinion, the coach who’s going to make the biggest difference is the one who loves the people who are being coached. Love is the secret ingredient almost no one talks about. It’s one of the dirty little secrets of coaching—and you can’t really teach it. It’s certainly not considered an appropriate topic of conversation in most corporate settings.

Here’s the most interesting part: I was in the room with a group of senior level medical engineering geniuses who all began to nod their heads yes. The group ended up deciding not to actually write the word loving in black and white in the participant materials, instead opting for more indirect ways of expressing it. But there was an implicit agreement among the group—all of whom have self selected to be role models for coaching—that loving is, in fact, a quality they will be cultivating. And do you know what? I believe they actually have a chance of shifting their culture.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I asked the leader if she had clarified for her direct report at the start what the task was and exactly what a good job would look like.

There was a long pause; then my client said, “No, looking back, we never clearly discussed the desired outcomes. Now that you say it, I can see how that would have been helpful.”

Of course my client was bothered that she hadn’t thought about clarifying her expectations. Yet the reality is, when leaders are constantly being pulled in different directions, this often happens.

Slow Down To Go Faster

Sometimes leaders need to slow down to ultimately go faster. They need to take the time initially to clarify for themselves what successful accomplishment of an objective would look like. Then they need to communicate that expectation clearly to those who are tasked with achieving the objective.

When partnering with others to get something done—not only direct reports but kids, spouses, peers, even your manager—would you benefit by slowing down to ensure everyone is on the same page? You can do so by:

• Clarifying the exact goal or task at hand
• Defining and sharing a vision of what a good job looks like
• Making sure all those involved are in agreement about the expected outcome.

Team members can’t hit a target if they don’t know where it is or what it looks like. Taking the time to clarify expectations and agree on outcomes greatly enhances the chance that your people will hit a bull’s eye.

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every weekat Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

My client said there are five things you can never be too good at and always need to develop. I think he’s right:

1. Your profession. It’s important to keep learning and going deeper into your profession. Even if you’re an expert, keep learning!

2. Leadership. No matter where you are in an organization or in life, you are leading someone. Maybe you’re leading yourself and your family or maybe you’re a leader in a Fortune 50 company. Look for areas for development.

3. Collaborating. Partnering with people is a skill and a gift. Some people collaborate well and others don’t. Collaborating means sharing. It means helping each other, covering for each other, and correcting each other without making each other wrong. What do you do well and what areas need some attention?

4. Communicating. Communicating is easy when everything is going well. It’s not as easy when there are challenges. When you discover a pattern of communication that’s not working—i.e., not responding well to feedback you receive; realizing your assertiveness is turning into aggression; wondering why people aren’t motivated after conversations with you—it’s time to learn a new way of doing things. Pay attention and keep developing!

5. Cherishing and valuing your relationships. What’s really important to you? Is it your job? Money? Your friends? Your family? Once you know your priorities, think about how they fit with your life right now. Are you spending the time you want to spend with your family or friends? Relationships are important. Keep developing them!

Remembering to aim for continuous improvement in these five categories might be a great way to prioritize and plan for whatever is ahead.

How do these match up with your priorities? Anything you would add? Use the Comments feature below to share your list of leadership priorities for this year.

About the Author

Linda Miller is the Global Liaison for Coaching at The Ken Blanchard Companies’ and a senior coach with the Blanchard Coaching Services team. Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

As we continued on the topic, she told me how this leader wants to be very encouraging of other people in his company—and often joins team meetings to hear about the latest ideas, projects, and plans. In his enthusiasm to endorse the thinkers, he told the coach that he always “adds value.”

That’s a potential problem.

What do you think happens when he comes in as an outsider and tries to improve on a team’s decision? Our coach is going to ask, but I’d say it’s a safe guess that when this leader speaks, others stop speaking. It’s pretty hard to disagree with a VP.

While this leader has a great idea to recognize and endorse the good work of others, I’m glad he’s working with a coach to support him in this plan, because even the best intentions can sometimes have the opposite impact. Rather than offering to add value by improving others’ ideas, the real value he could add in these meetings would be to really listen. Here’s why:

• Through listening, the VP shows team members he values what they have to say.
• This creates a safe environment for team members to speak up and share ideas.
• He could model the benefit of asking open-ended questions.
• He could share the floor by soliciting input from others around the table.
• Active listening will result in higher quality decisions that originate directly from team members.

Adding value is wonderful—but the VP isn’t the only voice of value at the table. By stopping his own reflex to fix or improve and instead truly listen to others, this new VP can generate even greater value—and more opportunities to catch people doing things right!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

That was the response John, a VP in the high tech industry, gave us when we asked him this question. And from what we could see, he was right. He was overworked and exhausted—because he was doing all the work for his employees! Given the constant deadlines he faced, he still believed this approach was easier than taking the time to coach his direct reports toward better performance.

This is a common problem we coaches face when working with well-meaning managers. They know they can’t keep operating this way, but they can never seem to find the right moment to slow down and put a new plan in place.

For John, it wasn’t until we had him track how much time out of one week he spent either doing the work himself or telling his people what to do and how to do it that he finally decided it was worth it to make time for day-to-day coaching.

That breakthrough led to these three questions John now uses as the basis for his new approach to coaching others to higher levels of performance.

1. What is getting in your way?
2. What do you need from me?
3. What will you do next?

Turns out, asking those three questions and listening to the answers netted John an increase in saved time of more than eighty percent! Now instead of doing the work himself, John is able to quickly identify—in partnership with the direct report—what the challenge is, where the direct report is in terms of competence and commitment to meet that challenge, and what leadership style is required to keep the project moving forward.

Eighty percent time saved. John says it’s the best experiment he’s ever conducted. Now he’s a believer.

How about you? Examine the possibilities. Try something new. Get new results. How much time could you save? This is just one example of the power of coaching—it benefits you as well as the people you lead.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Because many of the coaches at first didn’t notice the distinction of good managers, I got a lot of responses about managers who put themselves first, who are inconsistent, or who simply don’t take the time necessary to be clear about expectations. The narcissists, the bullies, the lazy, the petty, the dictators, the volatile, the jerks—we’ve all had at least one boss that fits the bill there. These are the people who become horror stories at the dinner table and who cause stress-related illness in others.

But these were not the people I wanted to write about. There is already a great deal of literature about terrible bosses.

I was focused on the mistakes good managers make. The person who works as hard as their people, views employees as human beings with thoughts, feelings and lives of their own, and works hard to be a good communicator; the manager who is self aware, aware of others, and tries really hard to take the best possible care of his or her people.

So what are the top three mistakes?

Once we made the good distinction clear, we heard back from over 50 coaches and collated all of the responses to come up with the top three mistakes good managers make. The top three were (drum roll please):

1. Not setting proper boundaries. In an effort to be liked, it is easy for a manager to let people get away with things they shouldn’t. Employees can feel it when they have a “nice” manager who really isn’t in charge. In the end, it actually makes people feel unsafe. Dr. Henry Cloud literally wrote the book on this topic: Boundaries for Leaders: Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge. Articulating and defending clear boundaries is a skill and can be made into a habit.
2. Adding value. As a manager, sometimes you have to let employees rise to a challenge. If you step in to rescue them too much, you aren’t doing them any favors. For example, when an employee has an idea or plan that you determine to be good enough, think twice about tweaking or adding your thoughts unless it is truly mission critical. Marshall Goldsmith talks about this in his wonderful book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. He also has a terrific blog post on the topic.
3. Ignoring personal growth. When you are taking care of everyone else all the time, it can be really easy to forget about yourself. When was the last time you thought about your own brilliant career? What have you wanted to learn that you haven’t made the time for? Do your employees see you as a role model for development—an inspirational learner?

Have we missed anything?

When you’re focused on the development of others, it can be easy to forget about yourself. Over the next few weeks, we will look at the different ways these mistakes get made—and how you can avoid them in the first place.

Are there other mistakes good managers make that you would like to add to this list? Please add them in the Comments section and we will discuss them in this column.

About this new column
Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned is a new Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard, and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here next week to look at another challenge (and possible solution) for this unique group.

An experience I had last week has me rethinking this position.

I got a call from a coworker. After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, the conversation continued down a personal line. I soon found myself telling her about my elderly father who had recently gotten pneumonia. She shared a similar situation she’d had and, although I don’t think she knew it, she provided me with a few nuggets of wisdom about aging parents that really helped me.

A few more minutes into the conversation, I was still wondering about the purpose of her call. That’s when I realized she was simply calling to connect and see how I was doing. Not long after that, we ended our call and I went back to work.

Taking Time to Connect

For the rest of that day and many days afterward, that call really stuck with me. The fact that she had reached out for the sole purpose of connecting made me feel, for the lack of a better word, special. As a coach, I know how important it is to connect with my clients. We teach it as part of our C-FAR (Connect, Focus, Activate, and Review) model in our Coaching Essentials leadership development program.

But that ten-minute phone call with my coworker drove home for me the point of how important making connection is in all our relationships. It showed me how impactful not always being “all business” can be. It also reminded me that connection needn’t be reserved just for coaching. So, while I’m not yet reaching out to people at work just to connect, I am remembering to foster a bit more connection with my coworkers.

Are you all business at work?  Could you benefit from a little connection?  Make a conscious effort this week to notice if you are taking time to connect with people at work.  If you are, pat yourself on the back.  If not, strive to do so.  Who knows—you might leave a lasting impression on someone just like my coworker did.

About Coaching Tuesday

Coaching Tuesday is a new weekly feature devoted to ideas, the latest research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.  Coaching Tuesday is written by Coaching Services Partners from The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

“Most of us are slipping and sliding on the bumpy ice of life. Our execution’s sloppy; we are poorly trained. We need some undistracted steering and grooming, prodding and propping up. We need someone to persuade us when we fall to get back on the ice, the slope, the course. All of us could benefit from someone who always is there to beam good wishes from the sidelines.”

She goes on to outline with wonderful warmth and humor exactly what a coach brings to the table: unconditional positive regard, total support no matter what, undivided attention, and utter faith in potential and possibility.  And finally, the beautiful fact that the coach is delighted and grateful to be in service to the greatness of the client.  Schmich’s piece was written in 1998 and remains relevant as the years go by.

As a coach, I have specialized in creative geniuses and over the years have been asked—repeatedly— what I do if I think the client won’t really be able to reach the goals they’ve set.  My response has always been “who am I to be the judge?”  In 25 years of coaching, I have seen clients perform all kinds of unlikely feats, not to mention some moments that felt a lot like miracles.  I think that is the point of coaching: when the match is right between the client and coach, an alchemy happens in which the partnership yields more than the sum of its parts.  That isn’t to say that a coach shouldn’t give hard feedback about what is going to get in the way of the client’s goal achievement—it isn’t all just warm and fuzzy.  No, it is the right conversation at the right time, all resting on the foundation of fierce advocacy and—dare I say it—love.

Focused Conversations

The Blanchard Coaching Services team defines coaching as “a deliberate process using focused conversations to create an environment for individual growth and purposeful action for sustained improvement.” In other words, a professional coach should help you to articulate your vision for ultimate personal success and to build the plan to get there. They will provide just the right amount of direction and support you need in order to carry out the plan. They will be your champion and advocate on your journey to your best self.

Coaching Just Works

Teaching leaders and managers to use coaching technology and skills helps them create a more trusting and innovative environment. Clients have told us their coach helped turn them from a caterpillar to a butterfly and from the quarterback on the field to the head coach off the field. In the Journal of Change Management, 2014, Anthony Grant’s research revealed that “Participation in the coaching was associated with increased goal attainment, enhanced solution-focused thinking, a greater ability to deal with change, increased leadership self-efficacy and resilience, and decrease in depression.” See? It does sound a little like magic.

________________________

About Coaching Tuesday

Coaching Tuesday is a new weekly feature devoted to ideas, the latest research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.  Coaching Tuesday is written by Coaching Services Partners from The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, our 130 coaches have coached over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

• “An idea or theory that is not proven but that leads to further study or discussion”
• “An assumption or concession made for the sake of argument”
• “A tentative assumption made in order to draw out and test the logical or empirical consequences”

Notice that a commonality across these definitions is the element of making an assertion for the purpose of verifying or validating it. A hypothesis is ground for further action; it is an antecedent and not an end result. Miscommunication is often attributable to misinterpretation, but we can avoid this fundamental error by noticing our assumptions and investigating them with a sense of openness and curiosity. The challenge in any interaction—whether your role is a coach, manager, advisor, teacher, peer, or friend—is to become truly curious about the other person’s experience so that testing our assumptions is an act of gaining clarity about that individual’s experience from their perspective rather than from our own.

Contrary to common belief, hypothesis testing is not a function of proving our theory, but rather it is a function of trying to uncover whatever truth exists. Yes, in scientific pursuits, we hope to furnish evidence in support of our hypothesis, but this is not the case in pursuits of human relations. True communication and connection with others requires humility and acceptance of the fact that our assertions and conclusions may be incorrect. If we are always hypothesizing then we must also be ever curious and open to alternatives, asking, “What else might explain this? What might I not be aware of?”
Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced Tick-Naught-Han), is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, author, teacher, Zen Master, and Nobel Peace Prize nominee for his activism and advocacy of nonviolent solutions to conflict. You do not need to endorse Buddhist philosophy in order to appreciate Thich Nhat Hanh’s approachable writing style and germane messaging. In one of his seminal books, Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh uses the quote above to explain what is needed in order to achieve true understanding in communication. If we only seek to validate our own preconceived notions without acknowledging that our way of thinking might be flawed, then we will not be able to truly understand whatever we are facing.

Each interaction, each conversation, each moment of life is associated with some image in our minds. We create a story about that image, and Ansel Adams reminds us that we are not the only ones looking at our pictures. Others are involved in those interactions, conversations, and moments.  Two photographers can stand aside one another taking in the same landscape, but the images they see and capture through their lenses will be different depending on what and where they choose to focus. Two viewers may look upon the same photograph and see or describe it in very different ways depending upon their interpretation and the meaning they assign to what they see. It’s all about how you make sense of what you observe.

In the art of communication, the skilled performer is ever conscious that the image seen may not reflect the one captured, and the story created by the viewer may not match the one being projected by the sender. If you truly seek to understand another person’s point of view, you must be willing to see the world through their lens. Like photography and all fine arts, perspective-taking is a skill which is developed over time through diligent practice, keen observation, acute trial and error, and endless wonder about the natural world. You are always creating images and painting pictures from your own pallet of interpretation. How might someone else see it differently? What would it be like to view the world through another lens? What is the potential benefit and beauty of considering another point of view? What else might be present? What else could sharpen your image? What are you not seeing? In what other ways could this situation being conceptualized or understood?
Remember that you are always hypothesizing, so ask yourself, “what am I not yet aware of?”

About the Author: Sarah is a Professional Services Intern at The Ken Blanchard Companies. She is pursuing a Ph.D. in Consulting Psychology, and her research is based on mindfulness. Contact: sarah.maxwell@kenblanchard.com.
Image Credit: 1, 2, 3, 4

Click the image below for a simple demonstration of flow (use the mouse to move and remember to return when you’re finished):

The creator of this simple game used Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of flow to develop the game elements. Since you can decide when to move further, you are always in control of both the level of challenge and skill, meaning you can always keep yourself in a state of flow.

Now think about your direct reports and their tasks. Are they in a state of flow? If not, is it due to the task being too difficult, or the direct reports not having high enough skills? Or perhaps the challenge isn’t increasing proportionately with their skills? And think about your own tasks. Are you in a state of flow? Why or why not? What can you do to improve your workplace and encourage more flow?

It’s clear that employees can become more engaged and productive, while constantly developing and growing, by applying this simple model to the workplace. So the next time you’re at work, try adjusting the level of challenge to match the level of skill. You might be surprised to find how much fun you can have while in flow!

Image Credit: 1

Underestimating the amount of attention and follow-up that is required for people to apply what they have learned. Change is difficult under the best of circumstances. Research identifies that only a fraction of learning ever sticks without repetition, reminders, and reinforcement. Don’t underestimate the time required to make real change.

Underestimating the challenge leaders have in balancing their workload and engaging in their own learning and development. Time and competing priorities are the two big challenges. What usually happens is that well-meaning managers put their own personal development at the bottom of the list because it doesn’t feel central to the business of the organization. Coaching helps with that because it provides some structured time where people can slow down a bit and think about their leadership and how new behaviors can improve their effectiveness managing people and situations—it can help them address things early in the process.

Outsourcing responsibility for behavior change. According to Overland, to be successful, any leadership development initiative needs organization sponsors to support and push for a cultural environment that helps to sustain learning and change efforts. “Sometimes when we go into organizations, sponsors will want to offload everything to Blanchard. And while we are very, very good at what we do, that does not substitute for the impact a message from a senior leader will generate. One of the greatest ways to demonstrate the importance of any initiative is to have a senior leader check in on progress. That type of tactical approach makes a huge difference.”

INVOLVEMENT LEADS TO SUCCESS

As much as Overland would like to promise clients that they can just turn over the process to her and the Blanchard network of coaches, the reality is that senior leaders need to stay involved every step of the way. The good news is that the level of involvement required is no more than that required for any other successful leadership initiative.

You can learn more about Overland’s approach in the article, Considering Coaching to Support Learning? Be Sure to Avoid These Common Mistakes.  Also check out information about a free webinar Overland is conducting on August 6, Coaching in Today’s Organizations—Best Practices and Common Mistakes

 “The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economical well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love and to be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution.”
—Stephen R. Covey

The “L” word—the BIG one—is legacy, the story of you and your imprint upon the world. It’s been a repeated topic of conversation in my spheres lately, as it should be in yours. Visioning is central to the success of organizations, teams, leaders, and individual contributors because it creates a dialogue around the meaning and value behind the work that we do. Your legacy extends far beyond your career into your personal and professional relationships; your family or community involvement and recreational activities; and in your moment-to-moment everyday experiences. What kind of legacy are you building, and where do you even begin? Covey reminds us that life is short, so ask yourself:

• What makes life worth living? What’s missing?
• What do I need to learn? To unlearn?
• How will I be remembered?
• What do I dream of?

These are big questions—Give yourself time to develop honest and deeply rooted answers.  It can be tempting to dismiss dreams as unattainable or impractical, but dreams stem from a place within each of us that British philosopher, Alan Watts, calls “the deep, down, basic, whatever there is.” In this inspirational video, Watts talks about the human need to feel significant and connected to something greater than ourselves:

There is nothing trivial about finding and giving voice to your purpose in life and however you frame the concept of legacy, the story is yours to write. In another moving video, The Real You, Watts talks about the idea of waking up and finding out who you are. An individual’s sense of self is a complex, idiosyncratic, and exquisite answer to the venerable question: Who AM I?
Before you can build a meaningful legacy, you first need to have a clear picture of who you are and what gives value and purpose to your life. Because your identity defines how you see yourself belonging in the world and relating to others, it is fundamental to creating your vision, living your dreams, and leading others to do the same. In Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the peak is self-actualization—the human need for self-fulfillment and striving to achieve one’s highest potential. This is a process of continual learning so you can always seek new ways of infusing energy and creativity into your everyday events.

Self-development is profound work but it doesn’t need to be intense. A variation of Covey’s four basic needs overlays learning with laughter because we can’t be serious all the time. That’s also why one of the founding principles of The Ken Blanchard Companies is to have fun! On your journey of life, never forget the gift of child-like wonder—not in the sense of immaturity or naivety, but rather of being curious and light-hearted along the way. As you think about who you are and most importantly the unique story you are leading, remember that life is short. Keep the “L” word always in mind.

About the Author:
Sarah is a Professional Services Intern at The Ken Blanchard Companies. She is also pursuing a Ph.D. in Consulting Psychology and her research is based on mindfulness. You can reach her at sarah.maxwell@kenblanchard.com.

From what I’ve experienced, being around a group enhances the effects of the smile test. Why? Because happiness is contagious. And by smiling, you encourage better moods in the people around you, which can even circle back around and improve your own mood further.

So share your smile and laughter with those around you as much as you can every day. You’ll be regarded as a more positive leader, someone who uplifts and inspires anyone and everyone. You may even find, as Brent did in his experiment, that your day becomes a lot brighter!

Smiling Girl

A collaborative approach

• It’s effective. Real, true behavioral change has been proven in organizations that utilize peer coaching. There are no gimmicks with this approach; if implemented correctly and sustained, it is a great tool for development.
• It’s free. Although executive coaching has its place, not many of us can afford coaches and most organizations won’t have the resources to supply everyone with a coach. Peer coaching is a free coaching experience that is results-based and is grounded in the interaction with people you know and trust.
• It’s an easy process to implement. Set up a recurring time and place within your organization to meet and discuss your current goals. This might be a perfect place to discuss your performance management goals or individual development plan (IDP) that your manager has set for you. If your organization isn’t ready for you to use working hours to implement this, than a 1 hour lunch break will work perfectly. It will probably be the most effective lunch hour you will have that week!

Gus is a Learning and Performance Professional at the Ken Blanchard Companies and is currently finishing his PhD in I/O Psychology. He can be reached at gus.jaramillo@kenblanchard.com

Eventually people get there—but it comes with a cost, says Ann Phillips in an interview for The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Ignite newsletter.

“It’s one of the toughest types of issue to address because on the surface everyone’s putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay. But if you scratch a little underneath you’ll see the level of dissatisfaction that’s costing organizations billions of dollars in untapped productivity, creativity, and innovation.

The biggest problem getting in the way of managers delivering the direction and support people need is an overestimation of their current skills.  As Phillips explains, “Leaders often believe they are providing direction when they tell people to ‘Do this, and then do that, and be sure to get it done by this date,’ but that is only part of providing direction—and probably the lowest form of the behavior.”

The same is true when it comes to supportive behavior, says Phillips. “Managers feel as if they know what supportive behavior is and usually have their own ideas about what it looks like. But without instruction, most people default to behavior that consists mainly of encouragement.

“People are good at encouraging others with phrases such as, ‘You can do it. We’re glad you’re here. We believe in you. Use your best judgment.’ But they miss out on all of the other supportive behaviors that are just as important such as listening, sharing information, and facilitating self-directed problem solving.”

“So folks are good at telling people what to do and then cheerleading them on to accomplish the task. And that is the one-two, ‘I want you to do this, and I know you can handle it’ combination that most people are getting in terms of direction and support from their managers. On the surface this may seem reasonable, but it is a style that only works well for direct reports who are already accomplished at the task. For people who are new to a task or are running into problems or are unsure of themselves, it’s a style that actually hinders progress—and can be damaging to overall growth and development.”

For managers looking to increase their ability to offer direction and support for their people, Phillips has three key recommendations.

Recognize your own default settings. Most leaders are unaware that they have a default setting when it comes to leadership even though assessments show that 54% of managers use only one style when it comes to providing direction and support for their people—either Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating. Each of these styles is great if it is a match for what a direct report needs. Each is also a hindrance if it is the wrong style for the situation.

Expand your repertoire of directive behaviors. Leaders need to think beyond just issuing directives and holding people accountable. Phillips encourages leaders to become more skillful at goal setting and putting in the time to provide day-to-day coaching as needed..

Expand your repertoire of supportive behaviors.   Leaders need to improve listening skills and be willing to share information to facilitate self-directed problem solving. This includes listening with the intent to learn, to be influenced, and to understand—not just respond. People recognize that information is power, yet many managers still try to maintain control by keeping information to themselves even though it undermines employee development.

Start today

Phillips notes that, “Managers have the ability to bring out so much more from their people. Find out where your people are at with their tasks. What do they need from you in terms of direction and support? Improve your skills in both of these areas and see what a difference it makes.”

To learn more, read Phillips’ original article on Direction and Support: It’s harder than you think! or check out her free on-demand webinar, People Management 101: Providing Direction and Support, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

The question they were asking was, “How do we keep our people motivated?”  I asked why they think they have an employee motivation problem.  They explained that while same-store and company-wide performance has been terrific, it is slowing, and some employees are becoming less enthusiastic.   Those employees are becoming more frustrated when they do not delight a customer and earn a sale.

“What do you currently do when an employee gets upset that they did not fully satisfy a customer?” I asked.  One regional sales manager explained that they talk with the employee about things the employee could have been done better.  After all, I was told, “the employees need to be accountable for the results.”

The most important detail here is that the employee in that example works in a successful store, and is already disappointed to have not delighted a customer.  The sales associates—often in their late teens and early twenties, and highly skilled—take great personal pride in delighting customers.  The managers said they work hard to make the in-store experience fun for their child customers and their parents.  So, the motivational question here is: What are the best ways to help a salesperson (or any employee) who is already eager to delight a customer do it better in the future after they fail to meet a high standard held by both their organization and themselves?

First, let me say that the accountability approach is the last appeal you want to make.  No matter how skillfully we parse it, and no matter how sweetly we explain the situation, the accountability discussion is a thinly veiled form of control.  It says very clearly: You are responsible for this and I need you to really get that. Do you understand?  I have met very few employees who walk away from accountability discussions feeling good about themselves, their managers, and the company.  Instead, try using a less controlling, autonomy-supportive approach.

Here are some methods you might consider.  Research shows these approaches are much more likely to stimulate positive motivational responses than emphasizing accountability.

1. Take the employee’s perspective.  Listen carefully to the employee’s experience so you understand it deeply.  In this case, recognize that the employee is already disappointed and desires to do a great job.
2. Encourage initiative and choice.  Help the employee discover several new options for future action.  Be careful not to tell them everything they need to do.  Encouraging initiative means listening and guiding first and foremost, not pushing your formula.
3. Help the employee take on more challenge—but not too much.  One or two more challenging steps at a time will generally work well.
4. Provide a logical rationale for any direct requests you have.  They need to make their new actions their own.  The more you push the less likely they will experience optimal motivation. 
5. Minimize use of pressuring language and controlling tone of voice.  Dialing down fear, concern, and pressure is vital to tapping into the employee’s natural desire to improve, grow, and perform at high levels.

All of the above approaches have been shown to result in positive behavioral responses because they help people feel validated, safe, and free from unnecessary controls.  They are like honey to accountability’s vinegar.  After all, which would you prefer?  Honey or vinegar?

About the author:

The Motivation Guy  (also known as Dr. David Facer)  is one of the principal authors—together with Susan Fowler and Drea Zigarmi—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ new Optimal Motivation process and workshop.

So, of course, they decided to sleep in and didn’t do any physical training for the day.
And of course my team was upset that they didn’t get to sleep in and come to work at 9:30. The last thing I wanted to create was resentment across the two teams. I thought that maybe a “team building” exercise was in order, but I didn’t carry it out because I felt I would probably screw that up too.  I was upset about the whole situation, but mainly I was irritated at myself.
After looking back on the incident, here’s what I learned:

• I never really gave him full autonomy

Here’s what I really said: You can have full autonomy unless you do something I don’t want you to do or something that I disagree with you on. What I told him he could do and what I wanted him to do were two separate things.

• I shouldn’t have given him full autonomy

Giving full autonomy over everything is not really leadership at all. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving him autonomy, but what I should have done in that situation was to give him more direction as to what is expected and necessary. Autonomy has its place and limitations; using it correctly is when it’s the most impactful.

• My communication was not aligned with my expectations

I was never clear on my expectations. What was standard and status quo for me was not necessarily the same for him. Talking through each other’s expectations would have been helpful for minimizing conflict and building trust.
For any further information or questions contact me at gus.jaramillo@kenblanchard.com

1. A Leader: The person who plays the leader, captain, or coach should be a great communicator and role model. They may not be the highest performing member of the team; however they have the best people skills to keep the team moving in the right direction. They need to have empathy for people when they are struggling but also an ability to push someone when they are feeling they have hit a wall. Teams do not succeed without someone leading them toward their end goal.
2. Role Players: Although these team members are often over looked they are the most important in completing the simple tasks that lead to the overall success of the team. Role players are able to make a team’s project look appealing, function properly, or maintain a certain level of operation. It is important for the leader to establish that these people are role players on the team but also that they have individual roles assigned to them which contribute to the overall success of the team
3. A Star Performer: Every best team has its role player or leader who also turns out to be its star. The star is the person who excels at everything at a level that is higher than the rest. It is the one person who has the skills that the others strive towards. This person develops the best ideas but also has the clearest plans to execute them. The star performer is not always the leader because they may not know how to communicate how they do what they do, but they embody what a high performer looks like.

There are very high functioning teams which do not have all three of these pieces yet produce great results. However, to be the best team possible you need to have members who take on each of these positions and then work together. The leader has the greatest influence on the cohesion of the team.

The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual.
– Vince Lombardi

Brian Alexander is the Marketing Project Specialist with The Ken Blanchard Companies. To learn more about The Ken Blanchard Companies please visit www.kenblanchard.com

When the stars line up perfectly, you have a great boss and your growth and success seem assured.  You have a person who guides and directs you, supports you, listens to you, laughs with you, shares disappointments with you, and brainstorms solutions with you. You have a leader who sets your goals and career path, opens doors, shares insights, paints the future picture and provides hope.  As the country song goes, “You’re gonna miss this.”

What can you do when you learn you will lose your best boss? Here are some actions you can take to keep an element of control and keep your career on track.

Download. Proactively set up time to gather important information and advice from your boss. What is the big-picture plan? What are the important projects, steps, and details? Ask for career advice relative to your company. The short term left for your boss may create a safer space to share more openly and honestly.

Mine. I have always believed that there is opportunity in chaos and churn. With some digging you may uncover new ideas, vistas or needs. There may be a promotion for you in this wave of change.  Are there projects you can take over? Could a conversation be had about reorganizing your department? Discuss possibilities proactively with your boss’s boss.

Interview. Ask to be part of the interview process to find your next boss. Prepare a list of benefits to your being on the interview panel. For instance, you know the makeup of the team and the projects in process. You have a unique ability to gauge cultural fit.  You deserve to be part of the process. Believe it—and ask for it.

Stay positive. As a manager, it is your job to soften the blow of the news for your team. If you admired your boss, it is likely others did too. Steer the ship through this choppy sea. Model confidence in the future, keep people focused, and provide hope.

Emulate. If your boss is someone you will remember ask yourself what made her so special. What did she do or say that brought out the best in you? How did he navigate the system for the good of the team? How did she break through obstacles while maintaining positive relationships? What made him wise? Remember and emulate the impressive characteristics, habits, relationships and style your good boss had.  Notice, learn, emulate, repeat.

Losing a terrific leader can shake up anyone. If you accept and manage the new normal, you’ll survive, New Manager, and so will your team.

About the author:

Cathy Huett is Director, Professional Services at The Ken Blanchard Companies.  This is the fourth in a series of posts specifically geared toward new and emerging leaders.

That’s a limiting perception. The job of managing people includes managing roles, goals, and day-to-day performance. Redirection is a part of that process.

In some ways it’s like flying airplanes where flight plans are set and frequent corrections in the air keep the airplane on course. The goal is a smooth flight that will arrive at the desired destination safely. But a surprise bout of turbulence may force the plane to change altitude to find smoother air space.

The same is true in the workplace. We all hope for a smooth ride in the course of achieving our goals but people sometimes experience turbulence and need “in-flight” corrections, too. This type of correction is what I call redirection.

A Closer Look at Redirection

A redirection is used for learners in a “can’t do” situation, not in a “won’t do” situation. With constantly evolving priorities, technology, and demands, many a worker is learning something new every day. Add in unclear vision, goals, or roles, and a worker can fall behind or make mistakes.

How should a new manager approach a person who needs redirection? Ken Blanchard shares a five-step process in his bestselling book, Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships.

Here are Ken’s five steps for redirection:

1. Describe the error objectively, without blame and without drama.  Example: “Your report was two hours late.” No eye-rolling, desk-pounding, or sarcasm. Just the facts.
2. Describe the negative impact of the error.  Example: “As a result, I had to cancel an important meeting because I did not have the data I needed in time.” Again, no emotion. Just the facts.
3. If appropriate, take the blame for not being clear.  Example: “I was giving you a lot of direction about several projects at once. Perhaps I wasn’t clear about the absolute deadline for your report.” This is an important step and can be a powerful, face-saving, loyalty-building action to take. It’s entirely possible that a new manager was not clear or specific enough.
4. Go over the task or goal again.  Example: “To be sure that I am clear this time, let me review with you what I need and when I must have it. I need….” It’s important to give very specific information and also to get agreement that what you are asking for is possible.
5. Express continued trust and reaffirm your belief in the person’s abilities.  Example: “Now that we have talked about this, I’m sure we’ll have no problem next time.” People need to know that an error will not permanently taint them.

It’s normal to occasionally get off course—especially when you are learning a new skill or taking on new goals and projects. Redirection is a natural part of the process even though it can be uncomfortable at times.  As Winston Churchill said, “I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like being taught.”  When a correction is required, this 5-step redirection can get things back on track.

About the author:

Cathy Huett is Director, Professional Services at The Ken Blanchard Companies.  This is the third in a series of posts specifically geared toward new and emerging leaders.

***

Cheryl DePonte is a Human Resources Learning and Performance Specialist at The Ken Blanchard Companies and has over 15 years experience in the fields of organizational effectiveness and human resources development.

Most challenging conversations are more effective when we take the time to prepare for them. I’d like to suggest five things you can do to be better prepared to guide your next challenging conversation to a successful outcome.

Gather the relevant information.

First of all, collect the relevant information pertaining to the topic of the conversation—the who, what, and why. Ask yourself:

• Who do I need to talk to?
• What is the problem?
• Why might this problem be occurring?

Envision the desired outcome.

Imagine the best possible outcome. If the conversation goes well, what will be the result? Be specific as you visualize this. Being keenly aware of your intentions will make preparation easier—and keeping those intentions in mind will guide the conversation in the direction you want it to go.

Anticipate the other person’s reactions and your response.

Think about ways the other person might react to the conversation to guard against the possibility of being blindsided by their words or actions. If you have considered their probable reactions and determined how you will best respond , you will be ahead of the game. Remember, though, that you can’t predict every reaction—even from someone you know well.

Pay attention to logistical issues.

The environment surrounding a difficult conversation can affect its outcome. A bit of forethought and preparation can have a significant positive impact. Here are some best practices for handling the logistics of the conversation.

• Schedule more than enough time – 30 minutes more than you expect.
• Hold the conversation in a private, safe, neutral location if possible.
• Make sure you will not be interrupted.
• Turn all phones and devices off.
• Have tissue available if tears are a possibility.
• Have a glass or bottle of water handy.
• If the conversation is with a direct report, be prepared to give the person the rest of the day off if needed—and do not have the conversation at the end of the day on Friday.

Decide if the conversation is worth having.

Note that I put the decision about actually having the conversation last.  Sometimes you find that the conversation itself is not as important as the deliberations you went through to prepare for it. What you really needed was to sort out your own thoughts and feelings. After all of your preparation, if you determine that you don’t need to have the conversation, you will lose nothing by changing your mind.

What other ideas do you have for preparing for challenging conversations?

About the author:

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership.  You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of each month.

In a special presentation on The Leader’s Guide to the Executive Brain Homan-Blanchard will be sharing the latest findings from neuroscience research and its impact on leader behavior.

You’ll learn:

• The Six Surprising Truths about Your Brain—find out what your brain needs for optimal functioning, what stresses it, and how to manage situations when you are overwhelmed or exhausted.
• Seven Laws of Extreme Brain Care—how you can arrange your workday to make better decisions and achieve new levels of self-control.
• Creating the Brain-Friendly Environment—the six critical dimensions that must be managed to help you—and your people—fire on all cylinders.

The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 800 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, Madeleine will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  Madeleine will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

Ok, so we like to watch a little TV and play video games, so what’s the big deal? We live life on the edge (of reality) and love to surf (the web) and socialize (on Facebook) all day. We are the doers. We seek not war, but peace. We love reality television and hang on every word they say (even the illiterate ones). We are not better than any of you, but we are special. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are just extensions of our inner self. We love rap music, iPhones, and Dancing with the Stars (my wife made me put that in here). We are not all about ourselves; everyone is just all about us.
This is our motto.
Tom Brokaw accurately named the World War II generation as the Greatest Generation. After reading the book, watching the Band of Brothers series, and hearing the stories from WWII vets themselves, I can’t deny this. These men and women were some of the purist of Americans—hard-working, dedicated, and loyal to their values. I remember visiting Normandy about 10 years ago and seeing the crosses of the buried soldiers neatly displayed—such a beautiful display of sadness and pain. In my own experience as a captain in the Army and a combat veteran serving in Afghanistan, I hardly saw any sense of entitlement among the troops. There were men and women who were generally unhappy to be there (I admit even sometimes I wondered why we were there),  and hated everything about the war, but they still wanted to fight. There was a sense of pride about them and they fought long and hard. While in Afghanistan, I had a West Point Captain tell me about his 18-month deployment. He said the length of the deployment really hit him hard at the first Thanksgiving dinner. They were just about to start eating when one of his soldiers said, “Hey sir, don’t worry about saying grace. I’ll do it this year and you can say grace next year.”
I don’t claim we are the Greatest Generation but I do think Gen Y has contributed significantly more than just TV and video games. We are a young generation, but like many others we adapt, overcome, and move on. I never liked the label, “entitlement generation” because frankly I don’t think we deserve it. I hope this generation can rid ourselves of this brand and demonstrate the core American qualities that have been delivered to us from previous generations.
For any further information or questions contact me at gus.jaramillo@kenblanchard.com

The first common characteristic focuses on relationships and support. People say that their best boss cared about them, gave them opportunities, and created a great working environment.  They made work fun and they were supportive.

Second, there is the performance and expectations aspect. People will share that their work was demanding, meaningful, and that their boss expected a lot from them.  They also share that their best boss saw qualities in them that they didn’t necessarily see in themselves.

In an article for Blanchard’s Ignite newsletter, I share some examples from Gallup, Southwest Airlines, and  WD-40 Company to make the case for adopting a high support—high expectations workplace. You can read the complete article at this link, but in the meantime, here are some takeaways for creating this dual focus environment.

1. Set challenging goals. Expect the best from people by setting goals that stretch their abilities. Look beyond what people can currently do and set a stake in the ground at the next level of achievement. Hard goals encourage growth, demonstrate trust, and develop competence. Be sure to set these goals as a partnership—it conveys respect and garners buy-in.
2. Meet regularly. Conduct brief, focused meetings on a weekly basis to discuss progress against goals, identify roadblocks, and brainstorm solutions. Demonstrate your commitment to an employee’s success by sharing one of your most precious resources—your time and attention.
3. Provide feedback. Celebrate and recognize achievements. Provide redirection when necessary. Feedback shows that you are paying attention as a leader, consider the work important, and are invested in the employee’s development.

Leaders become “best bosses” by expecting a lot from their people AND also providing high levels of support along the way.  Look back at your own experience and you’ll probably discover that your best boss brought out the best in you because he or she expected a lot and also supported your growth and development. That’s the one-two punch that creates high levels of engagement and performance!

As a leader, how do you judge which learning modality will lead to the most effective, quality learning experience? How do you appeal to learners on your teams at differing levels of technological savviness without discouraging their development? Or, worse, avoid humiliating anyone who is not as technologically savvy while simultaneously avoid disengaging your digital learners? Preventing yet more training materials being set up on a shelf never to be used again is key!

Steps you can take to lead your team to effectively use technology to learn include:

1. Understanding how your team learns – Become intimately familiar with how your team learns. Do you offer a learning product on a flash drive only to find you run out before you can order more or are you scheduling face-to-face classes on their behalf with little resistance? Are your most productive employees viewing recording links from live stream workshops because they want to learn in their own time in the comfort of their office? How your employees learn will help you intuit in what form content should be delivered to increase learning. Don’t discount your own observations regarding what your employees seem to gravitate toward.
2. Determine their favored modalities – Fit how the content is offered to the learner by offering it in various forms such as audio, video, face-to-face, and asynchronous. Have a workshop that you know learners on your team will love but know it’s in a format they won’t be interested in learning from? Encourage your employees to determine if they would be interested in learning the same content in a different modality. If the content is off the shelf, inquire as to whether it is offered as mp3, asynchronous, and face-to-face format. Purchase and offer multiple forms and see which format your team seems to prefer. Learn from your purchases and take note of what your employees want more of and most often request.
3. Then…limit options – mp3 audio books, asynchronous learning groups, virtual book clubs , CDs, DVDs, hard-copy libraries, face-to-face workshops…the list goes on as to how employees learn and you could potentially intimidate and confuse learners by creating modality overload. Most important after determining how your team learns is to introduce new technology and options slowly by choosing their favored modality. Then, let them get comfortable with change by limiting the options offered to those two or three favorite modalities the team gravitates toward. Don’t get caught up with the new, shinny technology if you know your employees will most likely not be interested in learning in that particular format. Perhaps you have determined your team enjoys reading hard-copy books, listening to CDs, and asynchronous learning. Invest in these three modalities by allowing your employees to show you this is how they most feel comfortable learning. If the content is then offered as a webinar with live chat, don’t spring it on the team. Wait to allow them to lead you in their own learning.
Understanding how your employees learn will help increase the benefits derived from learning in modalities that best fit the learner and resultantly most benefit the organization.
***

Cheryl DePonte is a Human Resources Learning and Performance Specialist at The Ken Blanchard Companies and has over 15 years experience in the fields of organizational effectiveness and human resources development.

In a special presentation on Performance Planning: 5 ways to set your people up for success, Hester will be exploring how leaders can improve performance by identifying potential gaps that trip up even the best of leaders.

Participants will learn:

• How to set clear goals
• The lazy leadership habits to avoid
• The 3 keys to “connecting the dots” and diagnosing development level

The webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 500 people expected to participate.

Immediately after the webinar, John will be answering follow-up questions here at LeaderChat for about 30 minutes.  To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

• Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link above
• Type in your question
• Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that!  John will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received.  Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses.

We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Click here for more information on participating.

, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Challenge yourself at the end of each day to focus on and write about three reasons you were thankful that day for people or things in your personal or professional life. Having to come up with three reasons to be thankful

each day requires you to be aware of, and even seek out, positive experiences.

 
Praise the People: Now that you are documenting your gratitude, take the next step and praise your people. When an employee believes his or her superiors are grateful for his or her work, the employee will benefit by having an improved sense of worth to the organization (Kerns, 2006). As a leader expressing your gratitude to the people you lead will be both beneficial for you and them. You will be amazed to see the positive outcomes produced by this simple action.
Remember, leaders are there to serve the needs of the people they lead. What better way to serve than to lead with positive praises?
Take the last few days of 2012 to develop a “praise plan” for 2013 that includes mindful meditation, keeping a gratitude journal, and praising people around you. It will increase the level of positive well-being in all aspects of your life and the lives of those you touch.

“It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.”
-Robert H. Schuller

After the training was completed, Dr. Paul Leone, an OD expert within the American Express organization, measured the impact of the three delivery methods.  He found that the self-paced virtual model produced a 5% boost in productivity which was good, the traditional classroom produced a 10% boost in productivity which was better, and the blended approach produced a 12% boost in productivity which was best.

The one difference that made all the difference

In looking at why the blended approach produced the greatest impact, Leone discovered that it was because the blended approach built the training into the student’s work life by including the immediate manager in the process, tying the learning to real work, and providing a way for feedback along the way.  Leone’s conclusion was that it was these design factors that made all the difference.

Want greater ROI from your leadership training?

For years, instructional designers have known that adults learn best when they see how the learning impacts their work priorities and is in alignment with their work goals.  Without this, it can be difficult to find the time for training. Learning—especially in the context of a work setting—has to be relevant, impactful, and produce results.  If you don’t have that, people won’t find time in their schedules, and senior leaders won’t push for people to attend.  People have multiple priorities these days.  They have to focus on the things that help them get their work done.

Here are three ways to make sure that any new training you’re considering generates the bottom-line results you’re looking for.

Alignment—use impact maps to connect training to a student’s existing work goals.  Have the manager and student identify the student’s key areas and then map how the training will help the learner meet those goals.

Modularize content delivery—deliver the content in small, bite-sized chunks over time. This allows students to receive the information in manageable segments that are much more conducive to learning.  It also provides an opportunity for ongoing feedback.

Follow-up—involve immediate managers to check in on progress. Make sure immediate managers are on-board with the new behaviors and that they schedule time to interact and have discussions with learners as they begin to use their new skills.  Nothing demonstrates the importance of a new skill learned in class than a manager checking up on its adoption.

People learn best when the information they are learning is relevant to what they are working on, when they see how it will help them improve, and when someone is checking on their progress and encouraging them to adopt new behaviors.  Make sure that you are following these three steps to get the most out of your next training initiative!

Managers met with their direct reports every two-weeks to discuss issues that the direct report wanted to discuss.  At the end of six months, surveys were conducted to see if the more frequent meetings impacted perceptions.

They did, but the results were mixed.

The leaders in charge of the managers who were being studied noticed a positive change in the performance of the managers and the people who reported to them.   From the senior leader’s perspective, more frequent conversations were having a positive impact on performance and morale.

The managers who were being observed had the opposite reaction.  They scored themselves lower than they had before the experiment.  The managers felt ill-prepared and somewhat ineffective in trying to solve many of the difficult issues that employee’s were facing.

The direct reports were the last group surveyed. Their reaction?  Overwhelmingly positive.  How could this be when the managers saw themselves as performing so poorly?  Hand-written comments added by the employees provided a clue, “My manager might not have all the answers, but they listen and they try.  I’ve never felt so well-supported.”

Getting started with One-on-Ones

So why don’t more managers conduct regular one-on-ones?  The top three reasons cited most often are time, lack of perceived skills, and a lack of training.  Don’t let that hold you back from spending more time with your direct reports.  Here are three ways to get started.

1. Maintain a regular schedule.  Start off meeting at least every two weeks. The meetings do not have to be long—30 minutes is a good way to begin.
2. Remember that this is the direct report’s meeting.  Your job as a manager is to listen, support, and see how you can help.
3. Be easy on yourself.  People know that you have limitations.  You don’t have to have all of the answers to be effective.  Work together with your people to identify options, access necessary resources, and plan a course of action.

Partner with your people to provide the direction and support they need to succeed.  Working together to solve issues is a great way to build relationships and improve performance at the same time. Even if you feel that you are not very good at solving all of their issues, you’ll still be having a positive impact. Don’t wait. Begin today!

Now, let me be clear that the job of taking ice cream orders really is pretty easy. But imagine being new at the task of scooping rock-hard ice cream into cones without breaking them, or remembering the difference between a shake and a malt—let alone knowing where the heck to find all 31 flavors in the case. It took a bit of time to memorize all of this information.  Then imagine the store full of people on a hot day or after a sporting event, and you have mayhem!

One night during that learning period stands out in particular—not necessarily because of the reasons stated above, but more because of how my manager made me feel during one of those crazy, busy times.

A man came into the store with his daughter, a girl I had met before who went to a rival high school.  She and I said “hi” as I began to help her dad with his order.  He was a very direct sort of guy and started rambling off his order, getting frustrated if I asked him to repeat things along the way.  The last item on his list was a quart of French vanilla ice cream.

After making sure he had everything he needed, I went to the cash register to ring up his order.  Just as I totaled it up, I realized I had charged him for a quart of regular vanilla ice cream instead of French vanilla, which was more expensive.  I immediately called over the manager on duty to help me, since I didn’t know how to delete an order and start over.  As she came over, the man started yelling at me and calling me names because I had made a mistake and was taking too long.  As I was apologizing to him and doing my best not to cry (although my eyes were not cooperating), my manager did the most amazing thing.  She turned to the man and very politely told him that this was my first week on the job, I was still in training, and there is a lot to learn when first starting.  She went on to say it was a very innocent mistake and would be taken care of quickly, but there was no need for him to yell at me.

Even though her words didn’t stop my tears from coming, it was so reassuring to hear her stick up for me.  I actually felt sorry for his daughter—she was so embarrassed by his obnoxious behavior that she put her head down halfway through his order. As they were leaving, she just walked away with a glance at me as if to say, “I am so sorry!”

A lesson for leaders

What my manager did for me that night, and throughout the rest of my training period there, is a great lesson for all leaders.  Without realizing it then, I learned three valuable tips to help leaders build the skills, as well as the confidence, of an employee in training:

1.  Never reprimand a learner.

2.  Let the employee know it’s okay to make mistakes—that you “have their back.”

3.  Praise progress.

My manager showed me she believed in me when she stood up for me at a moment when I really needed it.  She knew the importance of both the external customer and the internal customer.  Her belief in me and willingness to work with me through that interaction with a difficult customer really strengthened our relationship and made me want to work harder for her.

Maybe the customer isn’t always right, but they still are your customer. My manager was a great role model that night for how to treat both external and internal customers with respect.

About the author:

Kathy Cuff is one of the principal authors—together  with Vicki Halsey—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program.  Their customer service focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.

In Fowler’s experience, you have to understand your own reasons for performing at a high level before you can help others do the same. Without that understanding, most managers attempting to “motivate” others will resort to imposed or extrinsic techniques that may only make the matter worse—for example, a “carrot” approach which dangles incentives in front of people in exchange for desired behaviors—or a “stick” approach which applies sanctions and negative consequences for undesired behaviors.

A new understanding on what motivates people

Fowler maintains that the reason for our dependence on external rewards to motivate people, especially in the workplace, is not just because they were easy and the “fast food” of motivation, but because we didn’t have alternatives—we didn’t know what truly motivates people.

That’s been changing rapidly the past couple of years as research about intrinsic motivators have begun to make their way into the work environment.

Building on the pioneering work of Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, researchers and practitioners have begun exploring the powerful impact that intrinsic motivators such as Autonomy (being in control of one’s own life), Relatedness (to interact, be connected to, and experience caring for others) and Competence (experience mastery) can have.

For example, researchers at The Ken Blanchard Companies have established that employee perceptions of increased Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence are positively correlated to intentions to stay with an organization, endorse the organization as a good place to work, and apply discretionary effort in service of the organization’s goals.

As Fowler explains, “The latest science of motivation gives us an entire spectrum of options beyond the carrot and stick. People want or need money and rewards, but when they believe that is what motivates them, they are missing out on much more effective and satisfying motivational experiences.”

How are you motivated?

Wondering how you can apply this latest research into your own work life?  Here are three area to explore:

1. What’s your motivation? What’s driving your performance on key work goals and tasks—is it in pursuit of rewards, avoidance of punishment, or something more meaningful and personal to you?
2. How are your needs for Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence currently being met?  Are you growing and developing skills?  Do you get a chance to work together in community with others toward a shared goal?
3. What can you do to create a more satisfying work environment for yourself and others? What small step can you take this week to start moving things in the right direction?

Work can—and should be—a motivating experience.  Sometimes we forget, or become resigned to, a transactional relationship.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Re-examine your beliefs, reframe your experience and rediscover your passion. Break out of carrot and stick thinking.  Consider the impact that increased Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competency can have on your life.

PS: You can learn more about Susan Fowler’s approach to motivation in the article Motivation As a Skill.  Also be sure to check out a free webinar that Susan is conducting on October 3, A Closer Look at the New Science of Motivation.  It’s a free event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

• Job Factors – Autonomy, Meaninful Work, Feedback, Workload Balance, and Task Variety
• Organizational Factors – Collaboration, Performance Expectations, Growth, Procedural Justice (process fairness), and Distributive Justice (rewards, pay, and benefits)
• Relationship Factors – Connectedness with Colleagues and Connectedness with Leader

Without question, all of these factors are vital toward achieving an engaged and passionate workforce. What jumps out at me, and with most other’s research on the subject, is that the focus areas all tend to be very, for lack of a better word, work-centric. Whether you subscribe to the notion of work-life balance or work-life integration, my belief is that, in addition to these crucial work-centric factors, any number of outside personal factors may significantly influence an individual’s level of engagement and passion at any given time. And yes, this may even include an individual’s reaction to the weather outside.
It’s important to remember that regardless of your industry, you’re in the people business. Your colleagues and customers are human beings who are affected by other life experiences, both good and bad, besides those that occur while they’re working. We are individuals with unique needs, wants, situations, and emotions. In future posts in this series, we’ll further discuss situations and possible solutions to achieve a deeper understanding of what drives the engagement and passion of the unique individuals who make up your workforce.
Follow me on Twitter: @adammorris21 | Add me on Google+: gplus.to/AdamMorris21