Accept: While accepting others is important we should realize that we too need to feel and be accepted by others. Often our personal need for acceptance and the coldness of not being included in part of a larger purpose is debilitating and the gateway to frustration, depression or anger. Often our acts of acceptance are learned from the others accepting us. A history of rejection can limit our ability to be accepting of others. Be conscious of how you treat others and work to be the one who extends grace, mercy and love towards others. It will ensure that those around you learn from your example. Equally be aware that some people have difficulty and histories that make them shy from such behaviors. Some simply may not have the gift to give.

Listen: Listening is a reciprocating act. Extending the gift of listening to those who are closed off is a painful thing. To repeatedly offer ideas and feedback to those who reject or ignore it causes us to shut down and damages our self-worth and self-esteem. The result is crippling confidence and limited engagement. If you know of someone who seldom engages or holds back it is quite possible that they’ve had experiences with nobody listening. Give them extra attention and get to know their history, experience and capabilities in a personal and attentive way. As you see them open up you can coach them on how to offer the gift of listening to others.

Believe in others: To believe in others we must believe in ourselves. By believing in others we are projecting our confidence onto another person. Too often those we meet have experienced the opposite of someone believing in them. The results range from distancing to distrust. To do this right – when you purposely chose to believe in others – you must do so with blind trust and the ability to support failure and missed expectations. To someone who has experienced non-belief it’s scary to accept another persons blind faith/belief. If you find someone who consistently needs structure and instruction it’s quite possible they’ve been the victim of non-believers projecting a lack of trust onto them. Guide them with care and show your belief through mentoring and coaching.

Play: Healthy play is the product of a healthy environment. Those who’ve never experienced acceptance, have not been listened to or have not had other believe in them will be reluctant to engage in what might be seen as play. They are protecting themselves from further disappointment. As with all of the above when you find an individual who is often separated from the herd and hesitant to be fully associated don’t do what the average person does and write them off. Get to know them first. To paraphrase Andrew Carnegie – Greatness is uncovered by first moving a lot of dirt. Those who fail to get dirty will never uncover the gold.

Accept people for who they are. Listen to their stories of difficulty. Believe in them for who they are right where they are today. Play in such a way that everybody wins this complicated game we call life.