Dear Madeleine,

I read your blog from last week and it struck me that I could use some tips from you about the problem you skipped in your answer to the letter writer.

I, too, have been passed over for a promotion. It happened at my last company, which is why I left, but I am having the same problem in my new job.

I have been here for three years now, and despite doing very well managing a couple of teams and getting “exceeds expectations” on every performance review, the last time I interviewed for a job at the next higher level they brought someone in from the outside. From all reports the person is mediocre at best.

I got great feedback after the interview, and my own manager (a peer of the new hire) was apologetic. You may tell me to ask for more feedback, which I have done, but I haven’t heard anything I can use. It all seems to be positive.

I am very frustrated. I know I must be doing something wrong, but I don’t know what it is. I thought you might have some insight.

Passed Over. Again.

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Dear Passed Over. Again.,

I am very sorry for your frustration. I’m also sorry because, of course, there is no way for me to know exactly what is going on without more detail. I can only share possibilities and hope you can pick something out that might be useful.

In my experience, there are two types of factors that come into play when a seemingly ideal internal candidate is passed over for a senior-level job. First, there are external factors that have nothing to do with you and over which you have no control. Then there are individual factors that have everything to do with you and how you are perceived. I will outline both and hopefully something will resonate for you.

External Factors: These are the things you have no control over but you might be able to influence in the future. These include a need or desire for:

• An innovative approach – Even companies that claim to be committed to hiring and promoting internally sometimes yearn for a new perspective, or fresh eyes, as it were. It is very easy for companies to become too insulated and lose their edge if they are not hiring from a wide field and also from the competition.
• Expanded network – Some critical positions require a person who has a wide network of relationships inside and outside the industry. This most often true for sales and highly technical roles.
• Increased diversity – Less of an issue for many US-based companies than it was even six months ago, many organizations believe building a more diverse senior leadership will help them in the long run. Research certainly shows this to be true.

Finally, sometimes you are up against old-fashioned nepotism. People like to hire people they know well. It’s just human nature. So if the choice is between you and the EVP’s bestie from grad school, there really is no competition. Most annoying, though, is when you lose out because the hiring manager feels beholden to a person or family member. It happens a lot in politics, of course, but it actually happens everywhere all the time. This kind of thing can be so covert that almost no one is aware that it’s happening.

Individual Factors: This list will be longer, although is not exhaustive. The questions to ask yourself as you review these possibilities are:

• Have I ever received feedback about this but didn’t pay attention to it?
• Could this be true of me?
• If this were true for me, what might I do to remedy it? Am I willing to do it?

The individual factors that contribute to anyone being passed over more than once for a job they feel eminently qualified for can be broken down into three main categories, which are all connected.

Poor or Insufficient Internal Networking

• Lack of visibility – If leadership doesn’t see or recognize your contributions, they might be overlooked even if you are super competent.
• Weak internal networking – Promotions often go to those who build strong relationships with key decision-makers and people who have influence, not just those who do good work. This truth is often unwelcome because most of us wish it weren’t the case. If this rings a bell for you, you can complain that life is unfair because success is all about who you know, or you can get over yourself and make it your business to get to know people. This may sound harsh, especially if you are extremely shy or introverted. I am sorry for that. If you need help with how to go about building and nurturing a solid network, you can find my article about relationship mapping here and more tips here.
• Organizational politics – Favoritism, alliances, or internal politics can skew promotion decisions away from merit. There isn’t a whole lot to be done about this, but building a lot more relationships will help.
• Risk-averse leaders – Managers may favor a sure thing even if another candidate shows more promise. If there is a choice between promoting someone who has donethe job elsewhere and someone who may be able to do the job if given a chance but is as yet unproven, many will go with the safe choice. It can be tough to combat this tendency, but it can be done. How? You have probably heard that to get a new job, you have to do the job you want in addition to the job you have. This is another fact that is hard to stomach, because who wants to do that much more work? Ambitious people is who. And wow, is it tricky, because how on earth does that work? How do you take on projects or tasks that aren’t in your job description without seeming overly pushy or stepping on toes? It does demand finesse. It requires you to identify things that need doing but aren’t being done, as well as the support of your manager. What tends to work well is volunteering to take on non-official (and usually thankless) work such as organizing culture-building events, enrolling other volunteers, and making the extra work fun and interesting for people.

Lack of Compelling Executive Presence or Other Intangible Qualities

• Perceived lack of leadership potential – Someone may be great at their current job but not able to demonstrate the executive presence, strategic thinking, initiative, or influence needed for a higher-level role. This one is particularly thorny because these qualities are rarely broken down and explained to someone who is told they lack them. The best resource that details what these terms generally mean, with great ideas for what a person might do to improve, is FYI: For Your Improvement. An oldie but a goodie, this is easily one of the most dog-eared books I have on my shelf. It’s ideal for go-getters and the coaches who work with them.
• Mismatch with company culture or values – You might be technically qualified, but not aligned with your organization’s leadership expectations or communication style. Have you researched the company’s leadership competencies (if any exist)? Can you reel off the company’s values and point to how every one of your accomplishments reflects one or more of them?
• Soft skills gap: Strong communication, collaboration, or conflict management skills are often valued more than technical skills at higher levels. If you don’t have a chance to demonstrate these types of skills in your current job, ask your manager to keep you in mind for projects that will allow you to do so. If you do use these skills in your job, it is possible that your manager is unaware of how you have been tested and have risen to the occasion. In that case, it is up to you to point out ways you have used skills as part of your regular performance review.

Inadequate Attention to Personal PR

• Unwillingness to toot your own horn – I get it. Humility is a very attractive trait, but the truth is that you have to toot that horn because it isn’t anyone else’s job to do it for you. So, as stated above, it might be time to rethink how you approach your performance reviews. As someone who managed people for over 30 years, I can attest that the individuals who fared better—many of them quiet high performers—made sure when it came to performance review time that I was crystal clear about every little thing they had accomplished within the period. I mean every obstacle they had overcome, every goal or task they had achieved, and every skill they had worked on.

You might wonder if this is fair. Probably not. But every manager has a full-time job in addition to managing people. If you make everything look easy, they might be forgiven for thinking it was. I have seen some extraordinary excel spreadsheets and I can tell you, they were persuasive.

• Limited business impact – Candidates who don’t tie their work to broader business outcomes (e.g., revenue, efficiency, innovation) may seem less promotable. Business impact can be fiendishly difficult to pinpoint and may require some creativity on your part. You have to find a way to define and articulate your and your team’s impact and make sure everyone knows about it. Again, this might be a column in your spreadsheet.
• Unclear self-promotion – People who don’t articulate their goals or advocate for themselves can be overlooked in favor of those who do. Again, I know, yuck—who wants to have to promote themselves? Mostly people who annoy us, and we don’t want to be like them. But there are ways to do it without being smarmy. I would refer you back to the book FYI for reasonable tactics that work for you instead of against you.

Another thought is to identify the people around you who successfully self-promote and observe how they do it. I currently work with one woman who somehow makes everyone love her and want to work with her. I am still not quite sure how she does it, but I can tell you it has a lot to do with building relationships and making sure people know she cares about them. Which brings us back to networking. Thus, the virtuous circle.

Whew. That’s a lot, huh? But here’s the thing, Passed Over. Again., you don’t have to address all of these ideas at once. A couple of these things will strike you as possibly true for you and potentially doable. Start with those and see where they take you.

I would love to work in a meritocracy, my friend, but I have yet to find one. Humans are complicated and merit is simply the door opener. Everything else is relationships. You know you have value to add, and it is your job to collect as many people who see it as clearly as you do, in an organic and graceful way.

If extreme external factors aren’t at play, and if you start now, I guarantee you won’t be passed over next time.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am an executive coach. An interesting thing came up in a coaching session today: one of my clients has been tasked with defining the difference between a manager and a leader. There are some HBR articles on the topic and some different definitions, but I’m curious to learn if you have ever defined the difference between the two at Blanchard. It seems that most of the gurus in the coaching and training space talk about leadership and sometimes interchange the words leader and manager, but I don’t know if anyone has really distinctly defined the difference. How do those two roles manifest themselves at different leadership levels in a company?

My client and I discussed it and we agree on this: the closer a supervisor is to the individual contributor level (e.g., a frontline leader), the greater percentage of their time would be spent on manager-type tasks. The closer a supervisor is to the CEO level, the greater percentage of time would be spent on leadership-type tasks. In the middle levels, it likely would be a combination of both.

I’m curious, though, if we have defined the two roles in the past. I thought I would run this by you to see what you think.

Seeking a Distinction

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Dear Seeking a Distinction,

This is such a great question. I am curious to know what was behind the task request received by your client. You’re right—pretty much every place I’ve looked uses the terms manager and leader interchangeably. In fact, our flagship model SLII^® is referred to as a leadership model, while I think of it as a performance management model. So there you have it.

The distinction we do make at Blanchard is between strategic leadership and operational leadership. This is outlined in our white paper The Leadership-Profit Chain, which details the research that reveals the critical importance of leadership capacity to the bottom line. Strategic leaders are responsible for articulating the vision, defining the culture, and clarifying the strategic imperatives for the organization. Operational leaders engage in disciplined management practices that drive procedures, policies, and behaviors to ensure people do three things: understand and align with the vision, choose behaviors that are aligned with the stated values of the organization, and deliver what is needed to achieve the strategic imperatives.

Does that mean strategic leaders don’t have to manage people? No. Almost all senior executives still have to manage a function and direct reports.

Does this mean operational leaders can’t have a vision for their business area and come up with their own strategies to deliver what is needed? No. The best mid-level managers are trustworthy humans and have vision and strategy skills.

But we know not all leaders know how to (or care to) manage people and take care of all the details associated with managing. And not all operational managers are leadership material.

I think what you and your client came up with makes sense. Here is the way I would define the two different things—and I hope it will add value to your conversation.

A leader, in my humble opinion, is quite simply someone whom others choose to follow. Leadership activities include inspiring others, developing a reputation for making sound decisions, defining reality, resolving problems created by complexity, role modeling the stated values of the organization, and building trust with those they serve at every opportunity and through every interaction. A leader sees the big picture of what’s possible and inspires others to jump in and help to create that big picture.

A manager is a person who gets things done. Management activities include setting goals, working with peers to define how groups can work best together, breaking goals down into activities, assigning those activities to the best available person, and tracking progress and accountability for their group. A manager has a decent idea of the big picture but focuses on the right details in the creation of it.

It’s tricky, isn’t it? It all depends on what one’s job is and knowing where to focus one’s attention and how to allocate one’s precious time. To be successful in one’s job, no matter what label is assigned to it, this is what counts: attention and time allocation.

One might say a leader who is also a great manager (or a manager who is also a great leader) can see the forest and the trees. I think we’ve all had bosses who are brilliant at seeing the whole forest but can’t see a single tree, or one who can’t see the whole forest because they are focused on a single cluster of trees. And let’s not forget the technical experts who understand the inner workings of an individual tree. One of the great challenges we help organizations deal with is how often technical experts are promoted to management roles. There is a natural assumption that people who are excellent in their job will be good at managing others doing that same job. Anyone who has suffered from that situation as either manager or direct report can testify that nothing could be further from the truth.

In the end, it is a both/and situation instead of an either/or.

I hope this is helpful. Let me reiterate that this is my opinion, not Blanchard’s stated point of view, or the Truth. I look forward to hearing what you think!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior analyst at an insurance company. I want to start building my leadership influence.

I know my position is not at manager level yet, but I think leadership can happen at all levels. I am also very young compared to my colleagues who are at the same level in the company. I used to think influence meant popularity (e.g., numbers of likes and comments on my LinkedIn posts), but I am starting to feel that this is not true.

I read in a book that leadership influence means how many people would follow a leader and change their behaviors after interaction with the leader. Do you agree? Do you have any advice on how I can begin developing influence at my position?

Future Influencer

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Dear Future Influencer,

This is a great question, and the topic could be a whole book. There are, in fact, plenty of books on the topic, most of which focus on communication skills. So I will try to hit some highlights, and maybe share a perspective you might not get elsewhere.

I agree that leadership can happen at all levels, starting with the self. I think the definition you share sounds right. Influence isn’t the same as popularity, and it is definitely not something that can be measured by interaction with others on social media.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary says influence is “the power to change or affect someone or something—especially the power to cause changes without directly forcing those changes to happen. Influence can also refer to a person or thing that affects someone or something in an important way.”

To boil it down, I think it means being able to get people to support you and your ideas or do stuff you need them to do, especially if it is inconvenient or isn’t really their job.

You might start by zooming in on three areas:

1. You: Who are you, and how do you add value to any situation? Get clarity on your own personality and core needs. Understanding others is much easier when you understand yourself because you can figure out how you are different from others, why it matters, and what you can do about it.

A great way to discover more about yourself is with our content on Essential Motivators. Watch this webinar to get going: Developing a Deeper Understanding of Yourself and Others. You will also want to understand what combination of traits, experience, and skills add up to being your superpowers. What are you naturally great at and what do you love to do that might be useful to others? You can use this knowledge to get involved with projects or committees in your organization that will help you find ways to contribute while vastly increasing your network.

2. Your Dreams: What do you dream of accomplishing (not job title or salary)? What kind of culture do you want to create around you? What kind of impact do you want to make in the world? What kinds of changes do you want to see in your industry? What is your vision for yourself, your team, your company? Do you know your values well enough to use them to make decisions? Do you have a personal mission?

All of these dimensions will help you begin to build a personal brand. All of these will provide you with a clear drive that people will recognize and be attracted to—because it is compelling to support others who are up to fun and interesting things. It’s great to be goal-oriented, but you want to aim for something more than just a title or salary band. As you aspire to leadership, ask yourself what will make you a leader others choose to follow.

3. Relationships: Connections on social media are rarely real relationships. Having a relationship with someone means that person knows who you are and will include you if they believe you have something useful to add to a project. You’ve heard the complaint about successful people, that “It is always who you know.” Well, it is true—maybe unfair, but true—because people can’t help you if they don’t know you. And they won’t know you unless you make sure they do.

The best way to increase the number of people you have relationships with is to create a Relationship Map:

• Identify the people you need to know—they might be senior to you, peers, or newbies. You never know what assistants might be able to help you if they feel inclined.
• Analyze each person. What are their goals? How might they benefit from knowing you?
• Make a plan to form a connection with each person. And I don’t mean on social media. If a person is very senior to you, maybe ask for a short meeting to interview them about their job—what they love about it, what skills it requires, what advice they have for you. People love to give advice!

If you find someone super interesting, ask them to mentor you. With others, try to find a common interest. This is where social media may come in handy. Talk about leadership books or baking. Get together for coffee or cocktails, or do something you both enjoy—hiking, taking your dogs to the dog park.

For more on this topic, you can find an articles on Relationship Mapping here and here.

You are well on your way, Future Influencer. The fact that you are reading books on leadership is already a great start. Warren Bennis wrote “Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It’s precisely that simple, and it’s also that difficult.” You might want to put his book On Becoming a Leader on your list.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine, 

What advice can you provide about how one can develop more confidence as an aspiring leader? 

Aspiring 

_____________________________________________________________________ 

Dear Aspiring, 

This is such a great question. I have been thinking about it all week. The answer could be an entire book—and, in fact, there are countless books on the topic. But of all the good advice out there, what to cherry pick?

Probably the biggest thing to remember is that becoming a great leader is synonymous with becoming the best possible version of yourself. It will be a lifelong quest. There is no finish line, because the approaches and details will change as you grow. You will take on more responsibility and face new challenges that will test whatever certainty you think you have acquired.

Being a leader is mostly lonely, always difficult, and usually thankless. For all the people who appreciate your efforts, you will have double that number thinking they could do a better job than you. That is just the way it is. And it is a worthy pursuit. 

Here are some ideas for you: 

Learn from past experience. Ask yourself how you have built confidence the past when trying something new. You will notice a pattern of trying and failing, learning from mistakes, and trying again. For example, think about when you learned to drive. You started slow and small because mistakes when driving a car can be catastrophic. So, to start with, choose small challenges that won’t tank the whole enterprise if mistakes are made. The more you can develop a growth mindset, stay curious, and recognize that you are on a journey of discovery, the better off you will be.

Make a study of leadership models and theories. Build a library for yourself. It is amazing what you can find used online that won’t break the bank. You might start with Level 5 Leadership from Jim Collins’s book Good to Great—but there are plenty to choose from, including Transformational Leadership (Burns), Servant Leadership (Greenleaf), the Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership® (Kouzes and Posner), The Social Change Model of Leadership, the Relational Leadership Model (Komives, Lucas, and McMahon), the Connective Leadership Model (Lipman and Blumen), Conscious Leadership – my current passion – (Dethmer, Chapman & Klemp), and, of course, SLII® (Blanchard).

One of the finest resources that outlines leadership competencies and how to build them is a book titled FYI—For Your Improvement. It is based on the work of Eichinger and Lombardo that is now known as the Korn Ferry Leadership Architect. The newest version is expensive but you can find earlier versions at a much lower price. It is invaluable. It goes on and on; but with a little Googling, you can find them all and just dig in.

Sign up for any and all training your company offers. Take notes and commit to trying things that make sense to you. If and when you feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount there is to learn, keep this past article of mine, “Overwhelmed with Leadership Training Content?”, handy. 

Define what leadership means to you. What are your attitudes and beliefs about leadership? What do you think is most important for a leader to be and do? We call this process of articulating your leadership values and expectations your Leadership Point of View. Creating one is a big job, and I can assure you it will be a work in progress as long as you lead people. But now is a good time to start. Think about the best and worst leaders you have had and make a list of what they did that you might choose to replicate or avoid. To learn more about this, listen to an interview with leadership expert Pat Zigarmi. 

Build self-awareness. Because becoming a great leader means becoming the best version of your authentic self, you must understand yourself. Well. What are you naturally good at? What are your frailties? What can you get better at that won’t require a personality transplant? How will you need to practice self-regulation to protect yourself and others from your weaknesses? Become a feedback junkie—ask for and listen to feedback, all the while asking yourself What if this were true? Remember, also, that feedback always says as much or more about the person giving it than it does about you. Therefore, all feedback is useful, if only to help you understand how you are perceived and experienced by others. The more you are able to understand what people say about you, learn from it, and take what is useful and what isn’t without taking it personally, the more you will thrive. If you succumb to taking anything personally, your confidence will be impacted.

Have compassion for yourself. You will make mistakes. It is the only way to learn. Share what you are learning with your team, ask them to forgive you, and explain how you will strive to be better. Ken Blanchard always says “Leadership is something you do with people, not to people.” So the more you can partner with people to be a leader whom others choose to follow, the more effective you will be. 

I am often asked if I think leaders are born or made. And my answer is always “Both.” You have clearly heard the call to serve as a leader, which is always the first step. If you end up being a great leader, it won’t be because of luck. It will be because of lots of hard work, research, trial and error, and self-reflection. There is ultimately no one right way to do it. There is a lot of guidance, but you will have to craft your own way. 

Cheers to you as you embark on your leadership journey. It will be fraught with danger, filled with learning, and, ultimately, if you don’t let yourself be discouraged, extremely rewarding.

Love, Madeleine 

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have risen through the ranks of my organization very quickly. Last year I took on a lot of new responsibilities with almost no direction, did a good job, and got a raise and a promotion. My boss, the president of the company, has told me several times that he sees me as partner material.

One of my superpowers is figuring things out—but I fear I have reached my limit in one area.

I keep asking my boss for more clarity on what is expected of me to be able to reach partner. And he keeps saying I need to become “more comfortable with ambiguity.” It is maddening. If I knew what I was supposed to be doing, I would be doing it. But he won’t tell me.

Any ideas for me on how to break through this impasse?

Flying Blind

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Flying Blind,

You have just described the exact conundrum of making the leap from operational leadership to strategic leadership. When you reach the top ranks of any organization, the biggest shift is that there is no longer anyone to tell you what to do. What your boss is trying to express is that at the level you are playing, it is up to you to use your best judgment and make it up.

What most people don’t realize (until they are doing it) is that executive leadership is a wildly creative—and risky—business. When people are young, a little naïve, and lacking in experience, it can be incredibly exciting. When people have suffered the pain of making expensive mistakes, it can be terrifying.

Here is an article published recently: “The Ultimate Test: What I learned about leadership from Covid-19” that lays out exactly what I mean.

Managing ambiguity literally means figuring out how to get things done when things are not clear, nothing is certain, and there is no road map. It means looking at the whole picture and envisioning the path from where things are now to where you and the other senior leaders say you want to be.

Almost nothing you have been good at or thought you knew up till now is going to help you much, but it can be a good foundation. You will be required to let go of your addiction to checking tasks off your list and get comfortable with moving from incomplete task to incomplete task. For people who define themselves by their ability to get things done, this is a mind-bending transition. Get used to spending your time sharing your vision for the direction your people need to go and experimenting with approaches. Be prepared to adapt as new information comes in, and to pivot if necessary.

The metaphor that has been helpful to many is instead of checkers, you are now playing chess. Instead of moving all your pieces across the board quickly in a day or a week, you will now be lucky to make one or two moves in that time. Each move will require a lot of thought and consideration, frequent checking with others on the team, and possibly accepting a temporary fix until new information is revealed. It is dealing with constant change—and the job is never done.

One thing you can’t do on your own is decide on strategic imperatives. If your boss cannot articulate those, you can push for the leadership team to make decisions on what they are. Once you have those, and a sense of a budget, you will have to make up the rest.

Hopefully, you have organizational values to guide your decisions. If you don’t, you will have to decide on your own leadership values. That means you must know what is most important. That is a whole can of worms in itself and you can find more on that here. If your organization has not spent the time to articulate its values, you can advocate for putting some attention on that. Get some arguments for doing that here.

To be a partner means to be a co-owner with the other partners. Your boss is waiting for you to be brave. So be brave.

Make a plan for what you think needs to be done for you and your people to achieve, or even exceed, the strategic goals that have been set. Do you have the right people in the right seats? (Do they have the skills to do the job the way it needs to be done?) If not, how will you address that issue? Do you have all the resources you need? What hasn’t been thought about yet? What obstacles need to be cleared?

Let me be clear here: this is not a plan for how you will make partner. It is a plan for how you will lead your people to accomplish what needs to be done for the organization. It isn’t about you, it is about the success of your team and the organization.

Lay out the path for how you will do everything. Make a list of the unknowns and the obstacles you can see today. You will be worried that you’ve made mistakes, that you’ve missed something, and that it won’t be perfect—which will almost certainly be the case. That’s OK. No one and nothing is perfect right out of the gate.

Take your plan to your boss as your best guess of what you think you should be doing in the next 12 to 18 months and see what he says. Talk it through, get feedback, and share it with other leaders in the organization. If you think you are right about something that others disagree with, have the courage of your convictions and make your case. Or, if you think someone else’s point of view makes sense, let yourself be influenced. Then tweak the plan, share it with your team, and go.

You have passed the point of studying for the quiz and getting 100% and a gold star. You are now in unknown territory where you have to make your own map, and the test is about making decisions in the absence of enough information. Not only are there no gold stars on offer now, you will be surrounded by people who think they could do it better if they were in your shoes.

You say you have reached your limit for figuring things out? I say you are just getting started. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You are signing up for a bumpy but exciting ride!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I have been managing people for years. All the companies I have worked for have provided solid training. I’ve always felt like I knew what I was doing—until now.

The last training course I completed was packed with great content, but it ended up making me feel totally overwhelmed. I agreed, in theory, with everything that was being taught, but I just don’t know how I can do everything I learned. I have a huge job and was doing it well, but now I am doubting and second-guessing myself.

Can you please help me to figure out—

 Where to Begin?

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Where to Begin,

The biggest requirements for continual growth are a desire to learn and a growth mindset, both of which you seem to have in spades. So you have that going for you. Everything else is figure-out-able.

There are a couple of rules of thumb around how to change. Keep these in mind as you decide what to focus on.

1. One of the top reasons people don’t achieve goals is that they have too many of them.
2. Anything you decide to stop doing, start doing, or modify will require sustained attention—so choose no more than three things to work on at a time.
3. Find a way to track your changes so you know objectively that you are making progress. You might take a look at James Clear’s article on the benefits of tracking your habits. He is trying to sell you a journal, but you can use an app or make your own.
4. Get support for any changes you are trying to make. Tell people you trust—maybe your manager or a friend at work. The more you talk about it, the more top of mind it will be for you.

Now for what to change. I recommend you take a big step back and schedule some time to think, maybe outside of working hours so you aren’t interrupted. Sit down with your course materials and follow this process.

Before starting your review:

• Jot down some notes on how you have grown in the past.
• Ask yourself: Are there any areas where I have grown in the past that could use a little more attention?
• Also: Before I started the course, were there things I did, or habits I had, that I knew were keeping me from being as effective as I could be? What were they?
• Consider asking your boss or your direct reports for feedback on what they think might make you more effective as a manager or leader. This, of course, can be a can of worms—and in my experience, most managers already know what people will say. It is also true that feedback says more about the person giving it than the person getting it.

Now begin your review of your course materials. Look for answers to these questions:

• Did I learn anything that might help me with behaviors or habits I hadn’t been aware of going into the course? Start a list.
• Of all of things I learned, which felt the most relevant and/or pressing? Add these to the list.
• Did I formulate any clear intentions at different junctures of the course? If so, which still feel pertinent?

Once you have your list, it is time to choose. Some things will feel much more doable than others. I recently debriefed a 360° feedback report with a client and at one point he said, “Yeah, that’s never going to change.” I laughed, because, well, that kind of clarity is useful. And it may or may not be true in the long term, but it is definitely true right now.

Here is what you want to look for: What can I do that will make a difference and won’t require a personality transplant or heroic efforts?

I call these things “low hanging fruit,” and there is no shame in starting here. Most high achievers think they need to tackle the hardest things first; but in the case of professional development, this is simply not true.

Keep your list to revisit when you have made enough headway with your initial choices. The items on your list may or may not feel relevant to you in the future.

So give it some thought, make some choices, start with the low hanging fruit.

Tell others, get support, track your efforts. Be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for effort.

Remember: You can do it all—just not at the same time.

Good luck!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

This is one of my favorite quotes, most often attributed to Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. It holds an answer to managing negativity in the workplace. But first, I want to be clear about negative thoughts and emotions.

It’s okay to feel anger, worry, and sadness. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to get upset. We all experience a spectrum of feelings throughout the day. It’s normal. Besides, the more we squash negative emotions, the more they appear. But we can learn how to respond when we want to hold onto those negative emotions.

The first step is to acknowledge that we all feel big feelings, then feel compassion for yourself when you have them and, eventually, for others when they do.

Recognize Negative Tendencies

We all have natural negative tendencies and thought patterns. So don’t beat yourself up—or at least try not to. Recognize these leanings and attempt to catch yourself before you go into your habitual swirl of doom. You know what that looks like. You might be one of those who identify what’s wrong before you recognize what’s going well. Perhaps you like to vent—a lot. Or, if you are like me, you get defensive when you get feedback and see it as a criticism. These knee-jerk reactions can go completely unnoticed by us because they are ingrained habits and impulses—learned behaviors we acquired long before we were functioning adults.

The key is to acknowledge a feeling and then identify if your reaction to it will be helpful or unhelpful. We obviously don’t want to act out negatively or do something that’s hurtful. But sometimes our natural tendency does exactly that.

I’ll give you an example. Last week I was triggered by one of my colleagues who provided input on a strategy document I wrote. The comments, I felt, were not useful. Instead of dismissing them as a reflection of the person’s own issues, I was triggered and unleashed. I felt annoyed and wanted others to feel my irritation and validate my frustration. So I immediately texted and called a couple of my closest colleagues and complained. I distracted myself from the issue at hand and got wrapped up in a negative cycle of judgment and griping. And while my peers understood and empathized, I can only imagine that my rant did not put a positive spin on their day; perhaps it even impacted them later on. It was not an issue that I was triggered, but it was that I let it play out with my teammates and truly created a negative work environment. Not helpful and not fair—to myself, my peers, or that clueless colleague who was trying to give me some honest feedback.

Don’t Gossip

Here is a confession: I struggle with gossip. I want to follow the Golden Rule. If I hear someone speaking negatively about someone or something else, I don’t want to participate or share a juicy story of my own. But I usually do. I sympathize and likely continue enabling the rumor mill. Why? I also struggle with being direct, so gossip is an easier way for me to process my feelings. Great job, Brit, on being self-aware. But I need to take this a bit further.

Really, the better course of action is to either not participate or change the subject. Have more empathy and compassion for those who are at the center of the story. We are all just trying to do the best we can with the information we are presented with at the time.

Goodbye to Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is as bad as gossiping. It can be used to gloss over any unpleasant truths in the workplace. Rarely are statements such as “it could be worse” or “don’t stress” or “look on the bright side” helpful to the individual who is having a bad day, for whatever justified or unjustified reason. Toxic positively feels a bit like gaslighting—as if the other person’s feelings don’t matter or aren’t appropriate.

As with gossip, the answer is empathy and compassion. How do you show empathy and compassion? Through listening with the intent to understand, validating those strong emotions, and offering support—even if it’s just an ear.

Flip the Negative Script

A very close friend of mine and I work together. We use a technique to manage negativity so we can help each other share strong feelings but also get some forward momentum. If this person calls wanting to air out grievances, I ask, “Do you want to talk to Work Britney or Friend Britney?” My response is different based on who this person wants to talk to. If it’s Work Britney, I’ll say something like, “Want to work out a solution together?” If she is looking for a friend, I’ll say, “Dude, that stinks. I’m here for you.”

You can use this technique with your people. Let them know you’re going to wear different hats based on their need. This way, you can either play the role of boss or lend a friendly ear. I’ve asked my leaders in the past to do this. It’s helped me be able to share my feelings and then make a plan–which often means being more direct with the object of my aggravation.

Find a Release Valve—A Healthy One

People call work a “pressure cooker” for good reason—we all need a release valve. But you need to find one that works for you. Maybe it’s journaling, or exercise, or yoga—whatever helps you process the big feelings. But watch out. Doom scrolling, gossip, toxic positivity, and other nefarious habits that cause more self-harm may seem to be effective release valves, but they clearly only perpetuate the negative cycle on yourself and others.

Set the Tone

Leaders have more influence than they realize. Just consider that a poor relationship with a leader is the top reason people leave a job. You can flip this dynamic on its head by asking people how they are doing, what problems they are facing, what’s their biggest challenge.

Just as important, you can set the tone for these conversations. Instead of focusing on the negative, you can ask people about their big wins in the past week. I recently asked my people what their best day at work was in the past six months. Smiles began appearing on every face. Their brains were working hard. Then they shared great stories—and the whole nature of the conversation changed.

You Be the Example

A leader’s job is to manage the energy in the workplace. If there is negativity everywhere, notice it, acknowledge your role in creating or perpetuating that environment, and make a conscious decision to do something different.

It’s an unrealistic attitude to think every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows. Just do your best to be more mindful of negative patterns. Craig Weber calls it “Catch It, Name It, Tame It.” Meanwhile, “Catch people doing things right,” as Ken Blanchard would say. Celebrate the small wins. Celebrate when things go well. And little by little, you’ll change the environment.

It all goes back to the Frankl quote. “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

We have a choice. Do we want to bring people down or lift them up? Do we want to share the latest gossip or simply move on with our day? Negative emotions are shared by all of us, but a negative environment doesn’t have to be. We have the power to create more shared experiences that are positive. It’s about asserting our freedom and remembering that we have a choice in our response—and then choosing the path that leads to our growth and happiness.

It’s Women’s History Month—time to celebrate women’s accomplishments in the workplace! It’s essential to take a moment to recognize our contributions when you consider that in 2020 women still made just 84% of what men earned for the same job and were significantly underrepresented in leadership roles, according to Pew Research.

The argument about whether women can be great leaders is one that needs to be put to rest. Research has long shown that women excel in leadership roles. To empower women colleagues and to reassure anyone who may have an unconscious bias against women who apply for leadership positions, I share these findings:

• Women leaders are rated as being more competent than men on 11 out of 12 dimensions of leadership, according to Forbes.
• Women leaders score higher than men in 17 of 19 leadership competencies, according to Harvard Business Review.
• And 33% of people who work for a female manager are engaged at work, compared to 27% who work for male managers, according to Gallup.

There’s more: Female managers are more likely than male managers to encourage employee development, check in frequently on their employees’ progress, have regular conversations about their performance, and praise their people.  They are also better at collaborating and are perceived as being more empathetic and trustworthy. And they are significantly better listeners.

Perhaps Forbes best summed up the facts:

Having women in senior leadership roles also translates into greater profitability. A study by Credit Suisse found 25% of women in decision making roles had a 4% higher average return on investment—and companies with 50% of women in senior leadership had a 10% higher cash flow return on investment.

“With incontrovertible evidence like this, organizations not aggressively pursuing the cultivation of women executives are making the expressed, intentional choice to disregard evidence, severely undermining performance and compromising their organization’s potential.”

It’s crystal clear that your unique voice is needed to help people thrive! So, as a way of encouraging dynamic women such as yourself to climb the leadership ladder, my acronym WOMEN shares five strategies you can use to create the future of your dreams!

W = Ask WHO Questions

From my experience, successful women are fabulous at focusing on what they need to do, when they need to do it, and why they need to do it. Then they go out and get it done!

We’ve got the what, when, and why down. Now, as more women seek to move into leadership positions, we might want to focus on who. Here are some who questions you can ask to rocket your career to new heights!

• Who can help me do this task?
• Who can I delegate this to, so I can protect my time and build competence in others?
• Who do I want to meet?
• Who can I observe to see how the best and brightest do this task?
• Who do I want on my personal board of directors?
• Who can I endorse and build their confidence, so they are ready to step into a leadership position?
• Who do I want as a mentor?
• Who can I partner with who energizes me?
• Who can I and other leaders champion to help them get more visibility?

O = Be OTHER-Focused

Great women leaders are other-focused while keeping their eye on their own work. If someone asks them for help, they are immediately of service. They think of that person and what is important to them, and ask themselves, “How can I best help them?” They never lose sight of what that person wants to accomplish, sending them articles and ideas, checking in on their progress, and being an accountability buddy to ensure the person is successful.  

Other-focused women leaders know when to tell people how to do a task and when to ask someone to share how they think they would like to do a task. They know this because, just like a good doctor, they diagnose the task and the person’s demonstrated competence before responding. They are mindful of individual differences and communicate, recognize, and encourage people in a way that is meaningful to them.

M = Use MOMENTUM to Make Things Happen

Inspiring women leaders are energized by momentum. They are always seeking to do things better and faster, help the greatest number of people to succeed, and drive organizational vitality. They are always learning, reflecting on their actions, analyzing what they think would be best, and sharing their insights with others.

Momentum comes in many different forms such as speaking up in meetings. Here’s a helpful tip to ensure people listen to your ideas: Instead of giving your suggestions or recommendations in the form of a question such as “What if…” or “How about…,” be direct and say, “Here’s what I think we should do.” That way, people don’t think you are asking a question that drives their need to problem solve.

When you present your ideas, remember: if you hear no, it doesn’t necessarily mean no. No can mean lots of things such as “I’m hungry” or “I’m too busy today and don’t have the bandwidth to consider it.”

Here’s a funny anecdote that some of you may have experienced, between my very rational husband and me. We were driving home with the kids from a long hike, and everyone was hungry. My husband said, “Let’s go out to dinner!” Then he asked me, “Where would you like to go?” I said, “How about that new place?” He thought for a minute and said, “Nooo.” Then I said, “Well, how about the ABC restaurant?” And he thought for a few seconds and said, “Nooo.” And then I said, “I’ve got it! How about if we go to the place everybody loves, the XYZ restaurant?” And again, he said, “No I’m not really feeling that tonight.”

At this point, I thought to myself how come we never get to go where I want to go? So I decided to address that. I asked, “How come you never want to go where I want to go?” He said, “Well, you didn’t say where you wanted to go.” What’s the moral of that story? He was right. I just kept asking questions—and, being a rational guy, he just gave me his answers. Remember this when you’re pitching ideas in the boardroom. State your recommendation (like I should have): “Let’s get off at the next exit and go to Buca de Beppo.” Which I did, and we went, and it was delicious.

One last tip. If you have to say something that might upset someone, don’t start your sentence with “I’m sorry.” Say something like, “Thanks for taking the time to chat.”  This expression of gratitude makes the listener more receptive to what you’re about to say. 

E = Be Comfortable with EMOTIONS

Awesome women leaders realize that emotions should be acknowledged and embraced. Leveraging emotional intelligence is one of their superpowers.

When I was in my doctoral program, I read In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan of Harvard. It was revolutionary for me. I did have a different voice—a woman’s voice. When I was a school administrator, colleagues would often tease me by saying, “Oh Vicki, you’re so sensitive! Do you always have to ask how this will impact the students (or teachers or parents)?”  This often triggered a sense of shame and powerlessness that came from my childhood admonitions. When I was little, I was often told I was too emotional. If I got excited or upset, I would constantly hear negative comments from my parents that sent the message “People like you don’t make it in the real world!” In other words, they felt expressing emotions would hinder my success.

The truth is the opposite. Now, in a time when people are feeling so strongly about everything, the ability to be aware of and acknowledge your emotions and the emotions of others is the ultimate relationship builder. Creating a place where your people can release negative emotions and amplify positive ones is a special gift. It’s what makes women leaders such a tremendous benefit to an organization.

N = NURTURE Yourself and Others

Nurturing is a profound concept. It encompasses mindfulness, boundaries, and caring for ourselves and others. Fabulous women leaders realize that our bodies are the holding tanks for our brilliance. No bodies, no brilliance.

Because of this, women leaders protect their time, helping their people take brain breaks and look after their bodies. They run effective meetings so that people are energized, not drained. They stop every hour for a “mindfulness minute” to drink water, exercise for a minute, call someone, or praise someone. They know self-care renews their energy, their ability to be compassionate, and their ability to focus. And they know it’s much harder to be compassionate when you’re drained.

Last, women leaders watch their thoughts carefully. As Margie Blanchard, one of my favorite women leaders, says: “Don’t say it unless you want it!” They realize there is a profound connection between their thoughts, physiology, and outcomes. Since the brain stores information in images, which the body reacts to, they keep their minds filled with desired outcomes and a vision of what they want.

For example, if I say, “I’m exhausted,” what happens in my body? It wilts. But if I say, “I am so energized and excited to go into this meeting and learn something from everyone,” my body becomes energized.

Embrace Yourself. Embrace Success.

Women leaders: the world needs your unique point of view and your energy—for unleashing the power and potential of others!

Keep on leading. Keep on inspiring. Keep on challenging yourself to take even better care of yourself than you already are! Let others hear your powerful voice. Model for others the gifts of clarity, influence, and autonomy. And watch the world return it to you in abundance.

Our collective future is unfolding right before us. It demands a new kind of leader.

Consider life in this new era. An event happens on the other side of the world and its ripples nearly capsize our boats thousands of miles away. The pandemic is the latest example that we are more interconnected than we knew. A virus originated in China, a South African variant traveled around the world with disarming speed, and we resorted to social distancing, another round of vaccinations (or not), office closures, etc.

Now we are experiencing dramatic shifts in global markets and new technologies. A supply chain disruption roils countess markets. A new technology overthrows the process and forces us to react. These changes leave a path of creative destruction marked by the birth of start-ups and the fall of former Goliaths.

It is nearly impossible to predict what is going to happen next and how it will impact our lives. “Business as usual” already sounds like a quaint relic from the pre-pandemic past. We are now in the phase of accepting that many things will never go back to the way they were.

So what will the leader of tomorrow look like? Here are seven skills the VUCA leader must master.

Seven Skills of a VUCA Leader

1. Lead with a compass. The business world was once made up of workplace silos—functional or local, perhaps. Leaders knew their boundaries and were relatively comfortable with them.

The future organization will be flat and incredibly nimble. The VUCA leader has a bird’s-eye perspective of the business and is able to survey the landscape, identify all the moving parts, and understand how they are connected.

This 360^o vision requires a leader with a clear sense of purpose and a deep understanding of an organization’s vision, mission, and goals. The VUCA leader makes sense of all this and helps their team see the bigger picture and how their work matters. And they have exemplary communication skills that allow them to communicate what they are observing with their people.

2. Innovate with a purpose. The VUCA leader doesn’t do a task out of habit. Micro-innovating is the norm. Using micro-innovations turbocharges creativity, unleashes the power of teams, and enriches the customer experience.

3. Be an agile shapeshifter. The VUCA leader pivots instantly. They are a tinkerer, not an order taker. They are constantly learning through both successes and flops as they keep up with the changing business landscape. Once they have surveyed a situation, they determine the best path forward.

Being an agile shapeshifter is tricky. It requires seeking multiple perspectives while also making sure not to become stalled by analysis paralysis.

4. Embrace imperfection. Knowing when a minimum viable product is sufficient and ready for feedback requires vulnerability and being okay with “just enough.” Consider the power of iterative improvements. Amazon, Meta, and Etsy are just three examples of companies that have dramatically evolved since their founding. Embracing innovation also means being willing to accept redirection, failure, and setbacks.

The VUCA leader knows that perfection is the enemy of progress. Chasing after an unrealistic ideal can result in missed opportunities.

5. Prioritize ruthlessly. The VUCA leader continually reviews their priorities and jettisons those that no longer make a meaningful contribution to their strategic goals. This requires knowing when to allocate resources. The VUCA leader understands the trade-offs involved in assigning people to projects that offer little return versus those that have great promise.

6. Be constantly curious. The aggregate amount of knowledge is growing so fast that the VUCA leader recognizes the improbability of being an authority on a subject. They partner with their people to seek smart solutions and don’t blame team members for their shortcomings. Instead of blaming conversations, they have learning conversations.

7. Never be satisfied. The VUCA leader doesn’t rest on their laurels. They understand a business world that is spinning ever faster doesn’t allow one to celebrate a success for long.

The new reality seems daunting. But the VUCA leader will meet it with poise and grace. I’m preparing myself for the coming future. What are you doing to get ready?

2021 will be remembered as a year of change and it was certainly reflected in the questions Madeleine received from her readers. Here is a list of the top five most-viewed columns. They tell a story of the year we’ve been through. Madeleine will be back next week with a new year of questions from well-meaning managers—possibly yours?  Best wishes for the New Year!

Losing Your Temper and Don’t Know Why?

A column from the very start of the year from a manager concerned about a lack of patience and emotional outbursts.  Madeleine looks at seven possible causes. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/losing-your-temper-and-don-t-know-why-ask-madeleine

Feel Like an Impostor at Work?

A March column from a recently promoted manager haunted by the feeling that he just lucked into his position and doesn’t really deserve it.  https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/feel-like-an-imposter-at-work-ask-madeleine

Boss Talks Over You?

A May column from an EVP of Marketing concerned about correcting her highly opinionated and authoritative CEO who thinks he is an expert on everything.  https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/boss-talks-over-you-ask-madeleine

Return to the Office Making You Crazy?

A mid-summer column when people were beginning to return to the office and managers found themselves dealing with all sorts of new issues. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/return-to-the-office-making-you-crazy-ask-madeleine

People Aren’t Stepping Up?

A very recent column from a manager looking for help in moving her people towards more self-reliant behavior. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/people-aren-t-stepping-up-ask-madeleine

PS: Do you know other well-meaning managers who would benefit from reading Ask Madeleine?  Like, share, or invite them to subscribe!

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I recently joined the executive team of my organization as an interim VP. I am pretty sure I will end up with this role because I have been getting great feedback and no one has the time or brain space for yet another search and hiring cycle. I love the job and feel that I am getting my head around it.

The executive team is a mix of both long-tenured guys who know the business but aren’t innovating, and go-getters like me. My problem is that there is only one other woman on the team—I’ll call her Jane—who, for reasons I can’t understand, behaves as if she’s everyone’s servant.

I have worked with Jane in the past and find her super competent, straightforward, and inspiring. I know many members of her team and everyone loves working for her. However, in executive team meetings, all of the VPs and EVPs treat her as if she is their administrative assistant. She has far more seniority than some of the others on the team, including an EVP. Detailed tasks that should really be taken by other individuals end up on her plate.

Just yesterday, one of the VPs (who has a reputation for being Teflon with responsibilities) actually turned to her and said, “I’m not very good at that. Jane, would you mind taking that ball and running with it?” And she said, “Sure.” I almost said something. I know how hard Jane works. I am confused as to why she is taking on tasks that really don’t belong to her. It’s clear she is being taken advantage of.

I want to convince her to push back and stand up for herself. It is driving me crazy. What to do?

Desperate to Help

______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Desperate to Help,

I can see how that might be frustrating. I don’t know that I would have had the self-regulation to not say something. There are a couple of things to think about here.

First, you might want to wait until you are appointed to the VP role before you do anything to rock the boat. Being interim means you are still being closely monitored for fit to the team and making waves is not advisable. This doesn’t apply as much when it comes to your stances on strategic decisions—your peers need to see how you arrive at your positions, how you think, the extent to which you do your homework and are properly informed, and whether or not your values are aligned with those of the organization. But interfering with existing team dynamics is risky business. You will want to be in a secure position before you take that on.

Once you have the job for sure, confirm your read on the situation. See what you can find out about the history of team and how Jane got her VP role. Perhaps she actually started out as the secretary or executive admin for the team. Old habits die hard! It’s also possible she volunteered to be the task rabbit for everyone. Of course, neither may be true, but you just don’t know—asking Jane a few questions might be a good place to start.

If, in fact, it turns out none of this is true and the men have figured out Jane is a pleaser who will keep letting them dump a bunch of tedious work on her, the next step for you is to have a candid conversation with Jane. It isn’t your responsibility to save her from herself, but you can point out what you are observing—fresh eyes see dynamics that everyone else has become inured to. You can share your observation and then ask more pertinent questions.

I guess it is possible that Jane doesn’t mind. I find that hard to believe, but hey, each to her own. If Jane does mind, you could help her hatch a plan to start pushing back. She might want to have a separate conversation with each man on the team instead of causing confusion by abruptly changing her servile ways . You could help her rehearse what she might say. Setting boundaries is excruciatingly difficult for most people and impossible for some, so practice is important.

The reason we sometimes don’t set boundaries is that the only things we can think of saying are personal and judgy and could ruin a relationship. And then the moment passes, and that’s that—an opportunity to put a stop to shenanigans missed.

The key is to simply state the facts, free of defensiveness, blame, or judgment:

You can also be alert and ready to role model this behavior if somebody on the team tries to pull the same thing with you. It doesn’t sound like anyone has done this yet, but it can’t hurt to be prepared. People who habitually take advantage of others seem to have radar for those who will comply without fuss. I know several people—both males and females—who figure that if they can delegate, why not? So be ready. The first test will send the message that you are no Jane.

Many people are pleasers and love to use their skills to help others. It can be really tricky when people rise to executive levels and they are still getting the need to please met—it is a sure path to burnout. Whatever happens with Jane, it is ultimately up to her to decide for herself what she is and is not willing to put up with—and what, if anything, she can do about it. I appreciate that you are annoyed by what you think is a gross injustice and want to be a spokesperson for shifting gender dynamics. But in the end, all you really can do is make sure you are adding value and taking responsibility for your own relationships with members of the team.

Some battles just aren’t yours to fight. I am sure you have plenty of your own ahead of you.

I hope you do get the job.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

“The most successful leaders have a clear understanding of what leadership means to them. They are able to articulate this viewpoint to colleagues and direct reports for the purposes of building stronger relationships,” says Pat Zigarmi, a founding associate of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Zigarmi recently sat down with Chad Gordon of the Blanchard LeaderChat podcast to share a three step process from Leading at A Higher Level the bestselling business book coauthored by the founding associates and consulting partners of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

1. Identify key people and events that have shaped and influenced your thoughts about leadership.
2. Describe your leadership values by explaining specific behaviors.
3. Share your expectations of yourself and of others.

“The process is purposefully thoughtful and requires time to complete,” says Zigarmi. “The first step is to spend some time thinking about people who have influenced your life, such as parents, grandparents, coaches, or bosses. Also, think about key events that might have been turning points for you. Then describe what you learned about leadership from these people and events.”

Next, Zigarmi suggests you identify your core values.

“But don’t just create a list of words. Create a narrative that defines your core beliefs and how they influence your behaviors as a leader.”

“The last step focuses on describing what you expect of yourself as a leader, what you expect of others, and what the people you lead can expect from you. When people know the expectations, you have for yourself and for them, all goals are easier to reach.”

“Sharing your leadership point of view with your direct reports is the ultimate indication that leadership is a partnership—something you do with people, not to people.”

To hear more from Zigarmi’s interview, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a smart woman with an impeccable work ethic. I get more done in less time that just about anyone I know. The “Exceeds Expectations” box is checked on nearly every dimension of my performance reviews over the last few cycles.

I have been a director in my company for a few years now, and last month I did not get the promotion to AVP that I expected. It is a running joke in the organization that we have so many AVP’s—as in, you have to really not be delivering if you don’t get there in a few years. That is certainly not the case for me, so I finally cornered my boss for an explanation.

He was obviously worried that he might say something wrong, so he beat around the bush for a while. But what I finally got is that apparently I am perceived as too young, bright-eyed, and enthusiastic—and I lack “gravitas.” I had to look it up. To be fair, I am young and I look even younger than I am. I am super extroverted, love connecting with people, and have been called “vivacious.” My friend group nickname for me is “Bubbles.”

I tried to get my boss to tell me what I should change to be considered for a promotion, but he didn’t have much to say about that. He just kept saying “You need to work on your executive presence.”

Where do I start?

Bubbles

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Bubbles,

I want a friend named Bubbles. How delightful you sound. I am sorry that your assets (looking young, having so much energy, being enthusiastic) are working against you achieving your career goals. It tends to be the case that our greatest gifts can have a dark side. I feel bad for your boss, hapless as he is, because this kind of feedback can feel so personal. Since some of it might be connected to your being female, it could also get him in hot water with HR. So he has left you to figure it out on your own. That is pretty common.

Gravitas, according to Merriam-Webster, means: high seriousness (as in a person’s bearing or in the treatment of a subject). Oxford says: dignity, seriousness, or solemnity of manner. Essentially, people with gravitas are seen as expert, experienced, believable, steady, and trustworthy. I have experienced women getting the “gravitas” feedback quite a few times. And yes, it does always seem to be women. Although God forbid that a woman be perceived as dour, humorless, or a party pooper.

I’d love to say “Go ahead and continue to be your authentic self—your brilliance and work ethic will eventually speak for themselves,” but I would be doing you a disservice. Perception of others is not necessarily a true reality, but it is nevertheless a reality, and it is keeping you from getting what you want and deserve. There may be some value in making the effort to shift it. Not in trying to change your nature—I would never wish that on you, and it usually doesn’t work anyway—but in consciously managing your behaviors at work to shift others’ perception of you.

The key is to identify behaviors that make you seem young, overeager, impulsive, or somehow not serious. Ask your partner and your wonderful friends “What do I do that makes me seem young, or not serious, or not believable, or downright annoying?” Promise them you won’t get mad. Your feelings might get hurt a little—but better to know now, don’t you think? It could be very illuminating.

Now choose a few behaviors you think you might be able to notice and stop. Start with one:

1. Notice when you do it.
2. Pay attention to peoples’ reactions.
3. Wonder: What might I do differently? How might I express my opinion, thought, excitement with a little less—bubbliness?
4. Consider what is the shift—from what to what. See some examples below.
5. Try on a new way. You will fail. You will forget. Keep it up and notice how the reaction of others changes.

Once you get a good hold on one behavior, move down your list.

I can rely only on my own perceptions of people who lack gravitas to give you examples of potential shifts. Maybe some of these will resonate.

Here’s the thing, Bubbles—the silver lining of this situation is that it won’t last forever. The beauty of age is that you will gain the benefits of everything you have learned and achieved, and no one will dismiss you for being too young. And when you are the boss, you can still rely on your good behavior habits but allow yourself a little more leeway. You can wear the funkiest glasses you can find. You can guffaw. You can show your tattoos. You can be completely and unapologetically yourself. You will get there—age leaves no one behind. And until you do, direct people’s attention to what matters most about you—your intelligence, your work ethic, your commitment to excellence, and your knowledge and skills.

Effervesce all you want with your friends and family. Fizz away with pals at work who already “get” you, on breaks, offline.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a director-level leader in a national insurance organization. The culture here is that things get done slowly, and only when everyone agrees with the change.

I have been tasked with spearheading a ton of change, which is desperately needed. I have not made any friends with my approach and my boss has told me that my “brand” is suffering.

Apparently, I am seen as arrogant—and I am arrogant, I guess. I am an expert in my field and I just don’t understand why people can’t just take my word for it when I explain what needs to be done.

My fiancée has pointed out that I get combative and defensive when my expertise is challenged. She thinks my ego is getting in my way. I concede that that might be true, but I have no idea what to do about it.

Would appreciate any ideas.

Ego is Getting in My Way

_________________________________________________________________

Dear Ego is Getting in My Way,

You wouldn’t be the first to deal with this particular issue. The good news is that you are aware of how you have contributed to creating this situation, which is maybe the biggest hurdle. I worked with a speaking coach many years ago who said something I will never forget: “They won’t buy the message if they don’t buy the messenger.” It is just about as true an adage as I have ever heard.

Your first step is to adopt a little humility. Your ego might well be your problem, and it might be combined with a strong need for expediency or for being right. Probably both. That’s okay. Your needs won’t tank your career, but trying to get them met in a way that repels people will. Notice when your need is driving your behavior—and, if you have to, put your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from saying something that won’t get you the results you want. Ken Blanchard says, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” Another brilliant adage. So instead of reflexively getting your own needs met, think about the needs of the people you have to influence. Almost everyone needs to be considered, heard, and respected. People often use the word arrogant about someone when they feel devalued by that person. So stop sending the message that you feel you are surrounded by idiots.

Now either create or nurture your relationships with every single person you need on your side. “Oh wow,” you might be thinking, “who has time for that?” You do. Because it is the only way you are going to be successful. Make a map of every single person you need and make it your mission to get to know them and to let them get to know you. In these days of social distancing it is harder than ever, but it must be done. If there are some folks located near you, set up breakfast, coffee or drinks meetings. Keep the focus off of work and simply get to know people. Years ago the NYTimes published a wonderful article called The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. (If you need a subscription to see that, here is another way to get to them.) You may think “What? What does this have to do with love?” Everything—because you actually really need to know the people you work with and they need to know you. Once people really know each other, they tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt. If you can’t get together in person, do some “getting to know you” calls over Zoom. It will feel really weird and uncomfortable, but you just have to do it.

You will still be yourself. You may even continue to be arrogant. But it won’t bother people as much because they’ll see all the other stuff about you that makes you great.

People will assume you are an expert. You wouldn’t be in the job otherwise. So stop trying to prove it all the time. When you are challenged, listen carefully to the challenges, repeat them back so the person challenging you knows you have heard them. Show respect by taking concerns seriously and showing that you care about the person even as you might be thinking they have no idea what they are talking about.

One of the hardest things for leaders who are ascending quickly to understand is that being the smartest person in the room and being a champion problem solver is the ante to get into the game. The thing that keeps you in the game, and winning it, is relationships.

I’ll bet this is not what you wanted to hear. But I guarantee this approach will go a long way toward rehabilitating your brand.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Over the years, I’ve talked with thousands of people about servant leadership. Every so often somebody will come up to me after a speech and say to me, “You know, Ken, the style of leadership you just talked about is exactly the way I’ve been leading people for years—I just didn’t know there was a name for it! I’m a servant leader!”

Are you one of those people who think they might be a servant leader but aren’t sure? Let’s find out.

What Is Servant Leadership?

Robert Greenleaf first coined the term servant leadership in 1970 and published widely on the concept for the next twenty years. Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela are examples of great leaders who practiced this philosophy. If you think you couldn’t be in that kind of company, read on!

When some people hear the phrase servant leadership, they are confused. They think it means managers should be working for their people, who would make all the decisions. If that’s what servant leadership is all about, it doesn’t sound like leadership to them at all. It sounds more like the inmates running the prison, or trying to please everyone.

The problem is that these folks don’t think you can lead and serve at the same time. But you can, if you understand that servant leadership has two parts: vision/direction and implementation. In the visionary role, the traditional hierarchical pyramid is in place. Leaders are responsible for communicating what the organization stands for and what it wants to accomplish. While these leaders should involve experienced people in shaping direction, the ultimate responsibility cannot be delegated to others. This visionary role is the leadership aspect of servant leadership.

Implementation is where the servant aspect of servant leadership comes into play. Once people are clear on where they are going, the role of an organizational leader shifts to a service mindset for implementation. If you are a servant leader, you now philosophically turn the traditional pyramid upside-down and you work for your people. Your purpose is to help them accomplish established goals, solve problems, and live according to the vision.

Sound familiar yet?

Two Examples of Servant Leadership

To me, servant leadership is the only way to guarantee great relationships and great results. That became even more clear when I realized that the two leadership approaches I am best known for around the world—The One Minute Manager^® and SLII^®—are both examples of servant leadership in action.

If you’re familiar with the book The One Minute Manager, you may remember that his First Secret is One Minute Goals. All good performance starts with clear goals—part of the leadership aspect of servant leadership. Once people are clear on goals, an effective One Minute Manager wanders around, trying to catch people doing something right and deliver the Second Secret: One Minute Praisings. If someone is not performing as well as agreed upon, a One Minute Re-Direct—the Third Secret—is appropriate. When an effective One Minute Manager delivers praisings and re-directs, they are engaging in the servant aspect of servant leadership—working for their people to help them accomplish their goals.

SLII^® also has three keys that lead to great relationships and great results: goal setting, diagnosis, and matching. Once clear goals are set, an effective SLII^® leader works situationally with each direct report to diagnose that person’s development level (competence and commitment) on each specific task or goal. Then the two work together to determine the leadership style (amount of directive and supportive behavior) that matches the direct report’s development level so that the person can accomplish their goals. The key here is for managers to remember they must use different strokes for different folks and also different strokes for the same folks, depending on the goal and the person’s development level.

Why are the concepts of The One Minute Manager and SLII^® so widely used around the world? Because they exemplify servant leadership in action. Both concepts recognize that the leadership aspect of servant leadership—vision/direction—is the responsibility of the traditional hierarchy, and the servant aspect of servant leadership—implementation—is all about turning the hierarchy upside down and helping people achieve their goals. If you think about how many people have learned and put into practice the leadership lessons from The One Minute Manager or from SLII^® training, it’s easy to envision innumerable servant leaders serving people all over the world—and many of them still unfamiliar with the term.

Are You a Servant Leader?

If you’re still on the fence about your status, here’s a quick and fun way to determine whether you have been unconsciously practicing some of a servant leader’s qualities and behaviors.

You might be a servant leader—IF you…

• listen more than you talk
• think more about other people’s success than your own
• know all the brains aren’t in your office
• ask others for feedback on a regular basis
• empower others to make decisions without you
• love to catch people doing things right
• share information about yourself with others
• love to celebrate success
• empathize when things get tough
• consider mistakes to be learning opportunities
• wouldn’t ask your people to do something you wouldn’t do yourself

If you had a few “aha” moments while reading this blog post, it’s likely you are already a servant leader or well on your way to becoming one. Welcome! As you can see, servant leadership is not just another management technique. I call it an “inside-out job” because it is a way of life for people with servant hearts. In organizations run by servant leaders, servant leadership becomes a mandate, not a choice—and the byproducts are better leadership, engaged employees, raving fan customers, and a high performing organization. In other words, servant leadership is the best way to get both great relationships and great results.

Want to learn more about our people-centered approach to leadership? Download a free 60-page summary of Leading at a Higher Level. It’s available for free on The Ken Blanchard Companies’ website and it contains the best thinking from the founding associates and consulting partners of our company.

Use this link to access the summary.

The quest for high performance may be at an all-time high. With the COVID-19 pandemic turning things upside down, some people are struggling to get through the day—but others continue to thrive. How do they do it?

Brendon Burchard’s best-selling book High Performance Habits offers many answers to that question. Through extensive original research and learnings from more than ten years of being the world’s leading performance coach, Burchard has identified the six most important habits for improving performance at home, at work, and in your community.

The habits Burchard encourages everyone to build include:

1. Seek clarity. Have a clear vision, consistently set intentions for who you want to be each day, and focus on what is meaningful.
2. Generate energy. Learn to release tension while setting intention. Bring joy to your daily activities and stay physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
3. Raise necessity. Understand what you need to do for yourself and others to remain motivated. Build a network of peers who will support you.
4. Increase productivity. Determine the outputs that matter most to your success. Develop the skills that will help you perform at a higher level.
5. Developing influence. Ask others to challenge themselves to perform differently. Be a role model for that behavior.
6. Demonstrate courage. Learn and grow from your struggles, share your truth, and fight a noble cause for others.

Burchard describes specific practices you can begin immediately for each habit. He stresses that although these practices may be common sense, they are not commonly practiced—so it is critical to make a commitment to using these tips and techniques to start your journey to long-term success and fulfillment. He suggests people focus on one practice at a time to recognize how significant each change can be.

Each chapter is filled with thought-provoking exercises to help you integrate the six habits into your routine, and encouragement to focus on the things that will make a big difference right away. Putting it simply, this is a guidebook for people who want to get control of their lives and experience true joy. The real-life examples of people who have overcome struggles by using the practices are evidence of how powerful this work can be. They offer proof that you, too, will be able to positively impact every aspect of your life.

Burchard shares a beautiful mixture of science-backed data and heart-centered strategies to help others live a better quality life. After applying just a few of his suggestions, you’ll notice a difference—and understand how extraordinary people become that way.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Brendon Burchard, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today. For more information about Brendon Burchard, go to www.brendon.com.

We are often asked how managers can support direct reports who are going through a learning and development or coaching journey. As it happens, manager support is the most overlooked leverageable asset for ensuring the success of any development activity. Many organizations have “Develops Others” as a competency—and supporting people who are engaged in learning provides an often disregarded opportunity for managers.

It is an accepted truth that training is more effective when the manager is involved when their employees are going through a learning or development process. No one disagrees in principle. But managers already have so much on their plates, it can be a challenge to add one more thing. And what exactly can a manager do? Most end up being only tangentially involved, if at all.

Here are some ideas. If managers committed to only a few of these, employees would not only take the development opportunity more seriously, they would also pay closer attention to the content they are learning and be more likely to share their learning with others and apply it to their jobs.

It all starts with the Executive Sponsors—business leaders and OD/LD professionals. Ideally, they would:

• Craft and share the criteria for who is invited to training/coaching and involve managers in those decisions.
• Provide the business case for training/coaching along with expected outcomes and impact on business results.
• Articulate specific connections between learning outcomes, career paths, and job role aspirations.
• Attend an executive overview of the content with managers so everyone has a solid understanding of what their people are learning.
• Share examples of how managers can model behaviors expected from those who go through training/coaching. There is nothing so demotivating to employees as the suspicion that their managers have not learned what they are learning. We have lost count of the times we have heard “Is my manager getting this training?”

Managers whose employees commit valuable time to learning/coaching should also dedicate ample attention and time to demonstrating their support. They could:

• Make sure they have had conversations with each of their people about their current tasks and goals, satisfaction in their current role, and career aspirations. If the organization has defined job role/career paths, discuss objectives and manage expectations.
• Inquire with each employee at the beginning of a learning/coaching journey what their preliminary learning objectives might be, both personally and in light of job roles and aspirations for future.
• (For coaching) Provide frank feedback directly to the participant as well as in any interviews or online multi-rater 360s. Managers should be prepared to support any feedback they give and to provide more detail and rationale should the employee want to discuss this. It is not fair for the manager to hide behind anonymous feedback or hope that what is said won’t be taken to heart.
• Share what they learn in an executive overview and ask for feedback on their own behaviors/practices and how they do or don’t align with new content. Leaders must at the very least try to be role models for the behaviors they expect.
• Dedicate time in each one on one meeting to what the individual is learning and how it can be applied to their daily work.
• If all employees are going through training or coaching together, spend some time debriefing in team meetings.
• If only a few employees are going through training or coaching, ask each participant to share one learning tidbit per team meeting.
• Recognize and reward completion of development journeys and allow time in team meetings for each participant to share any takeaways.

Managers are responsible for creating a safe learning environment in which all employees can practice a growth mindset. People want to be seen and heard. They need to experience that their manager has their back, in terms of enabling both best results and professional growth. A little bit of extra attention to what people are learning and how they can apply it will go a long way toward ensuring strong return on investment of time, money and effort.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior business leader for a global manufacturing company. I recently was on a panel with an officer of our company—not my boss, but a peer of my boss. He was very impactful with his remarks; I was okay but not nearly as sharp. Later, when I complimented him on his presence and remarks, he graciously thanked me and asked if he could give me some advice.

Of course I said yes.

“You need to prepare,” he said. “You have no idea how much I prepare when I need to speak—in any venue, including executive team meetings. It makes all the difference.”

It got me to thinking, and I realized that I have been basically winging it. All the time. I talk way too much. I start talking and keep talking until I figure out what my point is. I am smart enough to have gotten away with it so far—but now that it has been called out, I really want to improve. I am not sure where to begin. Thoughts?

Winging It

Dear Winging It,

The first step is self-awareness, so congratulations for realizing that you can improve. It is my experience that the less people talk, the more others tend to pay attention when they do. There is tremendous power in silence, and in taking the moment to think before you speak.

The next step is clarifying your own motivation for improving, because it will require sustained attention and effort. Since you have gotten away with winging it till now, it would be easy to slide back into old habits. So remembering the point of the exercise will help to keep you on track. Ask yourself:

• Why bother improving?
• What are my long-term career goals, and will my improving impact those goals significantly?
• How will I deal with it when I get disillusioned with how much time and effort preparation takes?

Once you have given this a little thought, you will be ready for the next step. This may be the hardest part: deciding what meetings/events you want to be more prepared for and blocking time off on your calendar to prepare.

The key to preparation is taking the time to do it—and you’ll find that it really doesn’t take that long. Once you have your system down you might very well be able to do it on your commute, or your morning walk, or even in the shower. Personally, I prepare by creating mind maps using pen and paper. Many people need to think out loud and take note of what comes out of their mouths that is useful and what can be consolidated or edited out. You will have to experiment.

Taking the time to prepare also means reviewing the supporting documents that are shared before a meeting. Most people who are used to winging it figure they can do a quick scan once the meeting starts, which is probably what you do now. But reviewing early will allow you the time to develop an opinion with supporting arguments that will be three steps ahead of what you can get to in real time.

Once you have blocked a little time out, run some tests: What method is going to serve you best? Are you a writer? Do you need markers and flip chart so you can think big? Do you need to think out loud with a peer or team member? Perhaps the recording feature on your phone would help you?

To organize your preparation, regardless of your method, consider:

• Who is your audience?
• What is their agenda? Why are they there?
• What is the main topic or decision that needs to be made?
• Do you have one or two key messages you want people to remember?
• Are there related side topics that may be missing, and can you explain why it is critical to address those at this time?
• What are the most important points people need to hear to grasp your opinion?
• Do you want/need research or statistics to support your point(s)? It’s much better to Google beforehand and be ready with links.
• Is there a personal story or example you might share to support a point?
• Can you tell that story succinctly and make sure it circles back to the point? Stories are very effective but all the more when they are short, sweet, and relevant.
• If your audience remembers only one thing about what you say, what do you want it to be?
• Is there a call to action and is it clear?
• What questions do you anticipate being asked, and how will you answer them?

If you start with just these, you will be way ahead of the game. Even if you focus yourself on the way to a meeting (or in our current Zoom world, take five minutes before the meeting) with some thinking about who the audience is and what you need them to know, you will be on the road to being prepared. Success breeds success, so start small and build.

If at all possible, consider asking the gentleman who gave you advice how he prepares—he may have some brilliant tips for you. And almost everyone likes being asked for advice.

Finally, you can practice keeping your hand over your mouth until you figure out exactly what needs to be said. I spend a great deal of time with my hand over my mouth—as a former “winger,” it serves me well. It is much easier to circle back to share something you didn’t get a chance to say than to take back something (or worse, a lot of stuff) you wish you hadn’t.

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a director in a small company. My boss (a boomer) keeps mentioning that I need to develop my brand. I really don’t understand what she means.

The more I learn about personal branding, the more it feels like something that can limit me. It also feels like kind of an old, tired idea. What do you think?

Branded?

Dear Branded,

I think your first step is to ask your boss what she means by it. Do you need to increase your visibility in the organization? Do you need to somehow distinguish yourself from others? Her answer may clarify her suggestion and help you make up your mind. In the meantime, let’s examine the whole concept of personal branding.

I have a clear memory of a Fast Company cover from 1997 with a big article by Tom Peters. (Tom Peters isn’t even technically a boomer; he was born in 1942.) I even remember at the time thinking Wow, that’s a little gross.

If you Google Fast Company and branding, the next link is a piece from 2019 titled You Are Not a Brand, which expresses feelings much like yours. Gross.

And so, the pendulum swings. But. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Wikipedia defines personal branding as “the conscious and intentional effort to create and influence public perception of an individual by positioning them as an authority in their industry, elevating their credibility, and differentiating themselves from the competition, to ultimately advance their career, increase their circle of influence, and have a larger impact.”

Now seriously, how could that be bad? Do you want to advance your career? Do you want to increase your circle of influence? Do you want to make a larger impact? Maybe you don’t. That’s fine, I’m not judging. But here’s the thing. Contrary to common sense, the reward for excellent work is not promotion, a killer reputation, or rewards. The reward for excellent work is more work. It is a confounding truth. So if you want the reward for your excellent work to be something other than just more work, you’re going to have to engage in a little bit of personal public relations. Is that different from branding? Maybe. I’m not sure. Maybe it’s a mashup of branding and building a strong network of relationships.

Brand is only a dirty word if it means cooking up a bunch of lies about yourself and trying to get others to believe them. That is gross. And it just isn’t going to fly, because it is unsustainable in the long term. Brand can be used as an umbrella word to express the concept that you know who you are and the value you bring to the table. But it also must be aligned with what you want to achieve. So you’re going to have a bunch of interesting strengths, but the ones you highlight will depend on your goals. You might think of your brand as simply what you want to be known for.

You may not even know, and that’s OK. You can find out. Ask trusted friends or family what they think makes you special. Ask your boss what special value you add. Take the Standout Assessment https://www.marcusbuckingham.com/—it’s free right now! The cool thing about Standout is that it takes your top strengths and puts them together to form a unique and powerful combination. And take the Values in Action assessment (also free!) to pinpoint your top character strengths. It’s so positive, it’s sure to make you smile.

If you are aiming for a leadership position, you can start working on your Leadership Point of View right now. This is a written outline of your beliefs and attitudes about leadership, your leadership values, your standards for yourself, and what you expect of others. It is utterly and completely about you. No holds barred, no baloney, totally truthful.

If you tell the truth, it can never limit you. The truth will change and your brand will evolve with you as you grow, so you have to keep your eye on it.

You can easily outgrow your idea of yourself without realizing it. I keep a written credo pasted into my journal. (I, too, am a boomer and I’m hopelessly addicted to paper and writing by hand.) When I recently started a new journal, I had to change a phrase in my credo. I used to say “I practice brutal realism and reckless optimism” and I had to change the word reckless to tireless. As it turns out, I have had the recklessness beaten out of me. It was true for a long time, just not anymore.

Here’s another possible way to go about it. A professional speaking coach once taught me that to show up authentically and powerfully, you have to be able to answer three questions. (I added a fourth.)

1. How do you see yourself?
2. How do others see you?
3. How do want to be seen?
4. How must you be seen to achieve your goals?

If there is a gap between #1 and #2, it needs to be reflected upon. If there is a gap between #2 and #3, that is data about how you’re showing up that you can take under advisement. And finally, #4 is a choice—but you can only amplify or leverage something that is already true about you to be successful. You have wonderful qualities that you can cultivate and showcase. You just have to decide which ones are going to be most useful.

The idea of personal branding may be dead, but if my LinkedIn feed hawking the services of countless personal branding experts is any indication, maybe not. Regardless, it won’t hurt you to get a clear picture of the value you bring and what makes you special—what makes you uniquely you. Nobody ever really succeeds at trying to be something they’re not.

Eventually, people will catch on and won’t trust you. You can decide what qualities to reveal and amplify, but ultimately people will see the real you.

Oscar Wilde famously said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” For purposes of branding, I might amend it to: “Be the best version of yourself.”

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

As an antidote to the negative consequences of personality-based leadership theories, new generations of leadership, learning, and talent development professionals are rediscovering servant leadership. That’s great news for those of us who believe that simply focusing on acting like a leader is a poor substitute for developing the character and behaviors of someone who truly believes that people lead best when they serve first.

As the Head of Learning & Organizational Development at The Ken Blanchard Companies in the Asia Pacific region, most of my professional career has been spent studying leadership from every angle. Having taught servant leadership for several years, I find myself continually returning to three key servant leadership principles—standing back, authenticity, and humility. My hope is that these principles will help you not only in your own leadership studies but also as you consider servant leadership for your organization.

Standing Back

Standing back means serving with a mindset of observing an individual’s needs. The servant leader becomes involved only when they can clearly see a way to add value to the process for the other person. The leader sees themselves as coach or facilitator of an environment or a project. They watch and respond as needed. From this mindset flows a host of skills to be developed and applied such as listening, asking questions, providing feedback, and many others. We have captured a comprehensive list of these skills by asking L&D professionals in our workshops what servant leadership looks like to them. Use this link to see what skills L&D professionals identified most often.

Authenticity

Authenticity as a servant leadership characteristic is often misunderstood. It’s not about leaders saying what they mean without a filter—it’s about them knowing who they are as both a leader and a person, and being comfortable in both roles.

In my work with clients, I call this leadership principle “being grounded.” Authentic servant leaders speak respectfully, when it’s appropriate. They are aware of their core values and don’t have a need to boast. They openly appreciate others for their merits in a genuine and meaningful manner. When a leader acknowledges their team members’ successes and supports them in realigning their goals after failures, it promotes learning and growth. A servant leader demonstrates authentic leadership through behaviors that are based on their values. They have a clear, centered sense of self and communicate in a way that serves others.

Humility

Some might say that leaders with humility know how much they don’t know. When they work with people who have more expertise than they do, they are confidently humble. They may even ask “Could you teach me? Could you help me? Could you facilitate my learning?” They are also proactive in asking their direct reports for feedback on their leadership style; e.g., “How do you feel about the way I’ve been working with you and leading the team?”

The humble servant leader is confident in their own capabilities and personality. They believe in serving others through continuous self-improvement, communicating openly, and proactively seeking feedback.

All Three Principles Are Interrelated

In practice, these three principles are interrelated. When a leader is authentic, they are also humble. Because they are humble, they are confident in standing back. They are centered, grounded, and comfortable with their values, who they are, and how they present themselves. This is the place from which they will always make their best decisions and be of the most service to others.

Robert Greenleaf, the universally recognized father of servant leadership, wrote forty years ago that servant leadership begins “…with the natural feeling that one wants to serve. A servant leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of the people and communities to which they belong.”

If this serving spirit is in your heart, I encourage you to consider how standing back, authenticity, and humility can help you and your organization along the journey.

Looking for more information on how servant leadership principles are being applied in today’s organizations? Check out servant leadership resources on The Ken Blanchard Companies website.

About the Author

Maria Pressentin is the Head of Learning & Organizational Development for Asia Pacific at The Ken Blanchard Companies. Maria is an award-winning coach and leadership development professional, as recognized by the HRD World Congress and has served for four years as the vice president of the International Coach Federation, Singapore. Maria holds Master’s degrees in Strategic Management and Organizational Research, and is currently pursuing her PhD in Entrepreneurship and Innovation.

In this age of fast-moving markets, fickle consumers, and unprecedented risks, we need leaders who think and act like entrepreneurs. In his latest book, Entrepreneurial Leadership: The Art of Launching New Ventures, Inspiring Others, and Running Stuff, Joel Peterson explains the important difference between an entrepreneur and an entrepreneurial leader: Entrepreneurs can launch new ventures but can’t necessarily run them at scale. Entrepreneurial leaders act nimbly to launch new initiatives, inspire others, and champion innovative approaches.

We’ve witnessed the extreme success of entrepreneurial leaders like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates. The days of leaders who focus on keeping results consistent with past performance and balancing a budget are over. Peterson introduces a new set of skills that aspiring entrepreneurial leaders need to develop.

In the book’s introduction, Peterson describes a painful personal memory of the night his wife temporarily went missing on a mountain hike. He then uses the metaphor of mountain climbing to present a series of maps organized around four skills needed to navigate the path to the summit of entrepreneurial leadership.

1. Build Trust: Trust is “base camp” for any leader, but is especially important for the entrepreneurial leader. They must determine and live by their core values in order to behave predictably, which is a requisite for building trust. Being transparent, respectful, and consistently delivering on promises builds a personal brand that creates a trusting work environment.
2. Create a Mission: Creating and sharing a clear mission is similar to providing a map to the summit. It gives meaning, clarity, and priority to a collective set of actions. A team without a mission lacks focus and direction and will most likely fail. A team that is aligned on a mission understands exactly where it is going and what it will take to get there. The mission serves as the inspiration for the endeavor by clarifying specific goals so that everyone is aligned.
3. Secure a Team: Leadership is a team sport—and nothing is more important than ensuring the right people are in the right positions. Entrepreneurial leaders know how to recruit, onboard, coach, assign, and reassign—or when necessary, remove—people on the team. They hire people who share the same values and work ethic, then empower them to perform at their highest levels.
4. Deliver Results: With a foundation of trust, an inspiring mission, and a team in place, it is time to deliver results. Entrepreneurial leaders establish standards for decision making, negotiating, and communicating while they meet the challenges of driving change, overcoming adversity, and more. Peterson presents a series of maps to help leaders be prepared to meet challenges and juggle the competing claims of customers, shareholders, and team members.

Entrepreneurial Leadership is filled with compelling stories that support the valuable information provided in Peterson’s maps. In many ways, the book is a how-to guide that will help you make a quantum leap in your own success. If you want to effectively lead others and help them achieve their best, launch new initiatives, drive innovation, or create a legacy, this book will inspire you to start your journey.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Joel Peterson, listen to the LeaderChat Podcast and subscribe today. Order Entrepreneurial Leadership on Amazon.com.

For more information on Joel Peterson, go to www.joelcpeterson.com.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a somewhat new manager in the law office of a large government agency. I stepped into my new role after my boss left. The pay raise was negligible and my workload has tripled, but I figure it’s good experience.

Here’s my question. I had an epiphany last week: my new direct reports—there are seven of them—are not like me. I have been managing them the way I like to be managed, and it’s not working at all. I think I know why it isn’t working, but maybe you could help me to understand how I can make it work.

After the Epiphany

Dear After the Epiphany,

First of all, thanks for making me laugh out loud. I am not laughing at you—well, wait; I might be, but just a little. It’s only because so many managers never have your epiphany and because it is such a wonder when someone does get it. And for you to get it at the beginning of your management career is such a gift. My husband calls your pre-epiphany state BLMS: “Be Like Me Syndrome.” Because, generally, we all tend to see everyone through the lens of our own experience, temperament, and skills. So just the fact that you have had this epiphany gets you halfway there. I am actually dying to know how it came to you. What caused the insight?

Now to answer your question. Most people are promoted to a management role because they are very good at their jobs. And most of those new managers get no training on how to manage. Here is a fun if somewhat terrifying infographic on that research. It’s a great mystery to me how anyone thinks being good at a job will make you good at managing people. And yet, I’ve made the mistake myself. One possible reason is that we all tend to engage in magical or wishful thinking. We think “Oh, Ben is so competent and such a hard worker, he would be a great manager!” Some people, like you, get the memo and figure it out for themselves. But many don’t, as seen in the research and certainly in my inbox.

So. You were obviously great at your former job and your bosses clearly had faith that you were able to handle a crushing workload, which is probably why they promoted you. Capacity for hard work is certainly a reasonable ante to be considered for promotion, but it shouldn’t the only one. Regardless, you are in the job and you’re right, the experience will be invaluable. So let’s get you set up to win.

To be a great manager, you must become a student of human nature and the human condition. It is a lifelong course of study. One consolation for the additional study on top of the already crushing workload is that you will hopefully be the wiser, more patient, and generous for it.

Where to start to become a student of your people? I have four tips. You don’t have to tackle all of these in order, but they are in the order of the stuff I wish someone had told me before I started managing people (and to all of those folks who worked for me 30 years ago, I am sorry). This is going to be a lot, so I would recommend that you set up your course of study over a long period of time. Break it down into small chunks and take it slow. As you go, you will find new topics to add to your list—so it will never end—but you will get the fundamentals first.

Temperament: You realize that your people are not like you. Great. The next step is to understand exactly how they are not like you, and to use that insight to modify your communication and style with each person. There are a ton of different models to help you do this. I have learned Myers-Briggs, DiSC, Enneagram, and Temperaments. To me, the simplest and easiest to apply is Temperaments—specifically, the work of Linda Berens. You can identify your own style, how it is different from each of your direct reports’ styles, why it matters, and what to do about it. If you do only this, you will be ahead of the game. It will help you understand specifically what drives and motivates each of your employees, and that will vastly increase your understanding of what they need from you and what rubs them the wrong way.

Don’t try to read minds: Do you know what each of your people is best at? And what they love to do? And how they like to be managed? It doesn’t have to be a big mystery—you can ask them. Create a questionnaire for each of your people to fill out; possibly something like this:

• If you could organize your ideal workday, what would that look like? What would you spend the most time on? What would you not have to do at all if you had a choice?
• How do you think you add the most value to the team and the organization?Tell me about the best boss you ever had—what did they do/not do? What qualities did they have that made them the best boss?
• Tell me about the worst boss you ever had—what made them so terrible? What did they do/not do?
• What is the best job you ever had? What did you love about it?
• What are your pet peeves—the dumb little things other people do that drive you nuts?
• How do you like to be recognized/rewarded?
• What is your superpower? What can you do blindfolded, walking backwards, with your hands tied behind your back? Are you able to use it in your job currently? If not, do you have ideas about how you might be able to?
• Would you be willing to give me feedback on my leadership style? If not, what might I do to change that?
• Do you have short-term or long-term career goals I should know about?
• Is there anything else you want me to know?

The key is to make sure people understand that you won’t be able to give them exactly what they want/need all the time, but that you’ll make an effort to keep what they tell you in mind. You also need to be sure that you’ll never, ever use what someone tells you against them.

SLII®: Learn and use a management model that is simple, straightforward, and foolproof. Honestly, I cannot fathom how I managed people before I learned SLII®. Here is an e-book that will walk you through it. Here is the gist of it:

• Every employee has tasks and goals they are expected to work on.
• For each task and goal, each employee has achieved a certain level of development. Development is a combination of competence to accomplish the task and confidence in their ability to do the task.
• The manager’s job is to flex their leadership style according to each employee’s development level on each task. Style is a mix of direction and support.
• Manager and employee have regular 1×1 meetings to go over tasks and goals, to assess their development levels on each one, and to make it easy for the employee to ask for more direction if needed, or more support if needed.

Simple, right? Yes, and it does suppose that everyone is crystal clear about exactly what tasks and goals they are supposed to be focused on. This first step alone is a stumbling block for so many. It is absolutely staggering how many people are not at all clear about what is expected of them or how to prioritize, so you might want to start there. Ask each of your people to list their tasks and goals in order of priority. You might be surprised to see some things on the list that don’t belong there, and others (that you see as mission critical) that are MIA. Once both of you are on the same page about each task, it is important that you paint the picture of exactly what a good job looks like to you. You can’t read their minds and they definitely can’t read yours. Then, if you have evidence that your employee has done the task before, you can let them go do it. If it is the first time they have ever done it, you will need checkpoints so you can assess understanding and provide redirection before it is too late.

It does take time to set things up at the beginning—but as Ken Blanchard says, if you set things up correctly in the beginning, the end takes care of itself. The beauty of SLII® is that it will keep you from micromanaging when you don’t need to, or letting people flounder when they think they know what to do, but don’t. It is hard for most people to ask for help, especially from a whippersnapper new kid. If you have a training budget, I encourage you to take an SLII® class if you can. It will make a huge difference to your life as a boss.

Communicate your expectations: Finally, you need to be clear with your people about your expectations. If you can’t stand for people to be late, tell them. If you need to see a certain number of work hours a day, tell them. If you expect work with no errors, tell them. Whatever your standards are, tell them. Choose your battles but do draw the lines clearly. Remember that your people are not you, and they will probably not hold themselves to the standards you hold yourself to. That’s OK. If they did, they would be making the big bucks, hahaha. So choose the things that really matter to you, and tell them.

The first job of a manager is to make sure the work gets done while doing no harm to the people doing it. Your people really need to know that you are paying attention, that you care, and that you have their backs. It will take you a while to weave all of this into the job—but if you take it one step at a time, it is doable. And worth it.

Aren’t you glad you asked?

Love, Madeleine

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 16,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a small team in a fast-growing area of a giant information security company. There is so much opportunity for my industry right now (have you seen the stuff about “Zoom-bombing” in the news? We stop that kind of thing).

I have always been ambitious—and right now, during this crisis, I am doing so well with my little team. I feel that this could be the time for me to really step it up to shine. But my boss, along with everyone else, is crazy busy. We are all going through a ton of transition and, of course, stress.

I have big ideas! But don’t know how to go about getting them in front of the people who can do something with them. How do I increase my visibility right now without being a pest? I want to—

Carpe Diem

Dear Carpe Diem,

It is awfully nice to hear some good news! I knew some people must be thriving in the current state of affairs, I just haven’t read about them in the news!

The first thing that comes to mind is one thing to definitely not do. Do not send your boss emails with good ideas for her to implement. Ideas are fun, but what matters most when things are nuts is execution. So if you want to send a good idea with a detailed action plan with timeline that you intend to act on, great. Otherwise—don’t.

The converse of that is to ask your boss what you can take off her plate right now. Say something like “it seems like there is a ton going on, and although we are busy on Team Carpe Diem, we love to add value, so what can we take on that would lighten your load?

All my other ideas are going to require a slightly longer-term outlook and will probably not yield immediate results. However, I guarantee that if you pick a couple of these and commit to them, you and your brilliant career will absolutely benefit. Pick the ones that feel doable to you and will not require a personality transplant. (Those are very difficult.)

Crush it Now. Be 100% the best at what you already have on your plate. Make sure everyone on your team has everything they need right now, and that each of them is fully engaged and satisfied with you as a leader.
Become a PR Professional. Start a newsletter for your team or department. Post on your company intranet what projects you’re working on and how they make a difference for the organization at large.

Build Your Reputation as a SME. Post interesting, fun, value-added stuff on social media about what is happening in your industry. Make sure you aren’t sharing company secrets, of course—just stay current with the news and comment from your unique perspective.
Check your attitude. Make sure you are staying curious about what other teams are doing, looking for opportunities to collaborate, finding ways to be of service.

Network. This is such a dirty word to some folks. These are the folks who are upset by the adage “it isn’t what you know, it’s who you know.” The problem is that the adage is true—and if people don’t know you at all, they certainly aren’t going to know about what you know. So get to know people. Start new relationships with people you don’t know and build stronger relationships with people you do know. Get your colleagues at work to introduce you to their friends. Think less about the position a person holds and more about the influence they have. Curiosity is your friend. Get people to tell you about themselves, what they do, and what they know. The more you learn—and the more you know who to go to for what—the more valuable you are to the organization. Engage individuals in the chat on Zoom calls. Contribute to calls for ideas and feedback.

Find a mentor. Identify people in the organization who know things you don’t know and ask them to teach you what they know or share their experience with you and to give you advice. People love to give advice. I should know.

Be an amazing organizational citizen. Volunteer for committees or attend events that aren’t necessarily mission critical. Send thank-yous to people who do you favors and congratulations to people who accomplish cool things. It isn’t sucking up—it’s nice.

I know this sounds shockingly obvious, but it can be amazing how often it is forgotten: a lot of being visible is showing up to things so that you can be seen. Be interested in what is going on, be curious about people, be engaged, and pay attention. Don’t expect people to come to you.

Shine on, Carpe Diem.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

With all of the change and disruption in today’s world, leaders are being asked to lead their teams through new situations never navigated in modern history. It can be overwhelming when everyone is looking to you for the answers. Leaders can take a cue from the coaching world on serving people and meeting them exactly where they are. Here are five things that can help you coach in a challenging time.

1. Remember, the person you are coaching is resourceful and innovative. They don’t need to be fixed, but they may need a nudge to mentally reframe their current situation. I recently coached a colleague who was dealing with all the requisite WFH challenges. She had all the tools and resources she needed, but couldn’t see them through the haze of “newness.” She came up with a structure and a plan. Now she’s on track to be highly effective and is feeling much more in control.
2. You don’t have to have all the answers. Yep, this is Coaching 101—and worth remembering. This week, a client came to her coaching session upset over, well, everything. She couldn’t get in to see her dad, who is in assisted living. Her 19-year-old son was insisting on going on spring break out of the country, her husband was now sharing her office, her grocery store was out of toilet paper, and her company was suffering the first round of layoffs in memory. Through coaching, she was able to reframe and reprioritize. She’s now focusing on the positive actions she can take and finding ways to let go of the things she can’t control. For a great book on reframing, check out Judd Hoekstra’s Crunch Time.
3. You need to take care of yourself. Psychological resilience is the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly. Taking care of yourself may look like finding new ways to exercise, talking to a therapist, sticking to good habits, or just giving yourself a break to have a mini meltdown and then get over it. Make sure you are checking in with yourself and giving yourself the same loving care you give to your team members. One of my colleagues practices meditation. She says it keeps her calm, focused, and yes—resilient. Find the ways that work best for you, and keep at it.
4. You have adapted, and can adapt, to change. Yes things will change. Yes there will be loss and there will be opportunity. “New normal” might look very different in four or six weeks and beyond. The truth is that ALL change, whether rapid or not, will eventually settle. We humans are pretty darned good at adapting. Trust yourself that you will be, too. My 91-year-old dad saw more change in his lifetime than I had ever realized. Before he passed on (a change in itself) he summarized for his kids some of the changes he lived through: The war to end all wars, the invention of television, common use of the telephone (and the mobile phone), desktop computers, hemlines, women in the workplace, hairstyles (although he stuck to his wonderful brush cut), the beginning of equal rights, the Berlin wall coming down, families with more than one car in the driveway, putting a man on the moon, the Great Depression and the world recovery that followed, fast food, the five-dollar cup of coffee, and a whole host of other things. He said the only thing that hadn’t changed was that old guys like him still wore suspenders. My dad didn’t like change, but he could sure adapt!
5. It’s all going to be okay. Whether you call it faith, self-determinism, hope, or belief in humankind, the label doesn’t matter as much as what does: we are all going to be okay. Find this belief in yourself. Share it. Spread it. Contribute to it. Take a deep breath, then six more. Keep breathing. We ARE all in this together. And together we will move into a post-Covid-19 world.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Historically, leadership development has been the one “vertical” within traditional learning and development curriculums that was immune to digitalization. Training and workshops had to be face to face—or so the story was told.

But the nature of our workforce and operational constraints have forced a change for nearly every global organization—and when you overlay disruption at work (like what we are experiencing right now), you’ll find that the need for a fresh, modern approach to effective, human-centered digital leadership development experiences has never been so pressing.

Leaders and practitioners know that they need to change how learning happens, leadership development and beyond, but they don’t necessarily understand how to get from today to a tomorrow that is still human-centered and has measurable business impact.

As a solutions architect at Blanchard, one element of my job is to help our clients sort out the noise regarding platforms, access points, user experience, reinforcement and sustainment, while at the same time finding a way to blend content and digital into an experience that results in the type of leader people love to work for.

This means while designing with the helping hand of smart technologies, our experiences need to be undeniably human.

That’s our goal. We develop learning experiences that are deeply rooted to your leaders and learners: who they are, what they do, and when and how they work. And we build experiences that improve their awareness and capability and move the needle forward for your business.

Over the next two weeks we will showcase some of the ways you can bring digital offerings into your organization.

• On March 18, I will present on Leveraging Learning Technologies.
• On March 26, my colleague Britney Cole will present on Evaluating Digital Leadership Training Programs.
• On March 27, virtual training expert Brent Bystedt will share best practices on Conducting Your First Virtual Session.

Click on any of the titles above to register for the session of your choice. All of these sessions are free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Have an immediate need or a more in-depth question? Use this Contact Us link to set up a complimentary consultation with a Blanchard solutions specialist.

Together, let’s bring a people-centered, digital approach to the leadership development space.

About the Author

Ann Rollins is a solutions architect with The Ken Blanchard Companies. A modern learning champion with more than 25 years of industry experience helping form and execute learning strategy for Fortune and Global 500 companies, Ann always has her eyes on the technology horizon. Her passion lies in helping clients sort out the learning angles and attainability of technology in workforce learning and performance to build future-forward, human-centered experiences.

How do people who are comfortable with finite games like football or chess learn to flourish in a world that operates with an infinite mindset? In his latest book, The Infinite Game, Simon Sinek explains how leaders must learn to operate with the understanding that business isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about being ahead or being behind.

With finite games, players are easily identified, rules are fixed, and there is a clear end point. In the infinite games of business or politics, players come and go, rules are changeable, and there is no defined end point. The keys to navigating with an infinite mindset are to focus on innovation and to remain resilient during constantly changing times.

We can all too easily see the results of leaders who operate with a finite mindset—mass layoffs, cut-throat work environments, shareholder supremacy (placing stock prices above a person’s worth), and unethical business practices. These practices are so common that many have come to accept them.

But Sinek believes the situation will change when leaders operate with an infinite mindset. These leaders leave the company better than they found it because they serve and foster employees’ willingness to show up, work hard, and take care of each other. These leaders build trusting work environments where people depend on each other to make remarkable things happen.

Above all, Sinek wants to build a world where most people wake up inspired every morning, feel safe at work, and return home fulfilled at the end of the day. With leaders who think beyond short term and focus on the long term, this kind of world is possible. Leaders who operate with an infinite mindset will build stronger, more innovative, more inspiring organizations that will lead us into the future.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Simon Sinek, listen to the LeaderChat podcast, and subscribe today. Order The Infinite Game on Amazon.com.

“People’s lives change in two ways,” says bestselling business author and syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, “the people they meet and the books they read.”

In his new book You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! Uncommon Wisdom for Unleashing Your Full Potential, Mackay shares advice he’s learned over the years from coaches like Sam Walton, Peter Drucker, John Wooden, Lou Holtz, and others. His straight-shooting, humor-filled approach to success in business and life is covered across 27 different topic areas that include accountability, discipline, persistence, setting goals, ethics, and trust.

Here are eight key takeaways from Mackay’s book:

1. Attitude is key. “One of the most powerful things you can do to have influence with others is to simply smile at them. On the flip side, of all the human failings that can destroy a person or a business, arrogance is the deadliest.”
2. Your customers matter. “Taking care of customers is taking care of business, which is why you need to create a service culture. And when you do screw up—and everyone does—you need to know how to correctly apologize.”
3. Get hiring right. “You cannot be a leader under any circumstances unless you understand one four-letter word in the dictionary: hire. The single greatest mistake a manager can make is to hire the wrong person. And when it comes to getting hired, the most important thing to remember is that getting a job is a job in itself.”
4. Develop your people skills. “People skills are so important—including manners, watching your language, friendship, and being a class act.”
5. There is no substitute for quality. “Doing something that’s ‘just good enough’ never is. Our values and eye to detail determine who we are. It’s important to do things right the first time to gain trust.”
6. Compete to learn and grow. “Rivalries and opposition make you better and lead to creativity and innovation, which are critical for growth.”
7. Believe in your ability to improve. “There are many things you can do, such as strengthening your memory and learning from your mistakes, to build new skills. In my public speaking, I hammer home the point that people achieve to the degree that they believe in themselves. It doesn’t matter if someone says you can’t do something. The only thing that matters is if you say you can’t do it.”
8. Balance and perspective. “Be sure not to let making a living interfere with having a life!”

Ready to learn more? Visit the pre-order page for You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! at Amazon.com.

Need a little extra incentive? Every person who orders Harvey’s book by noon on Friday, January 31, will get two additional e-Books: “The Harvey Mackay Network Builder” and “Harvey Mackay’s ABCs of Success.”

All you need to do after ordering You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet! is send an email to harvey@mackay.com and mention you learned about the book through Ken Blanchard. No proof of purchase is necessary.

PS: Not familiar with Harvey Mackay’s work and legacy? Check out this post from Jeffrey Gitomer sharing his experience spending a day with Harvey Mackay and Ken Blanchard.

Dear Madeleine,

I am an attorney in a government office. I was just promoted and have inherited four new direct reports. Although I have trained interns in the past, I am feeling overwhelmed with the fact that I still have my full time job and am now managing people. My first week was essentially all meetings, and I had to go home and work another full day to stay on top of my own work. How on earth do people do this?

It feels like, instead of a promotion, I now have …

Two Jobs

Dear Two Jobs,

You feel like you have two jobs because you do. The days of middle managers who get to just manage and not have a full workload of their own deliverables are long gone. I have never met anyone in your position who didn’t feel overwhelmed pretty much all the time.

My first recommendation is to get used to choosing what is less important so that you can focus on the most critical tasks. It will take a while to get used to this, especially if you are the kind of person who needs to check off everything on their list.

There are a ton of books written specifically for folks in your position—and, as a matter of fact, we have a training program designed exactly for you. So you can add a book or three to your towering pile, or beg your leadership to send you to a class. I recommend both. In the meantime, I will give you my first-time manager survival kit.

• Get clear about your key deliverables: Make sure your leader has been clear about what a good job looks like. Ask them to list their top five priorities in order of importance. Don’t try to guess. Research shows that when managers and direct reports are asked separately to make a list of their top five priorities, there is only about 25% agreement. Also, some things just aren’t going to get done. So make sure you are focused on the most critical things.

• Arrange for the same clarity in your entire department: Do the “top five” exercise with each of your direct reports. Ask yourself whether each of them knows exactly what is expected of them—what you think is most important. Of course, to do that, you have to decide what is most important. You are going to say “It’s all important,” and I am going to say “Yes—and some things are more important than others.”

• Arrange for resources: Once your reports have clarity about each of their goals and tasks, make sure they have what they need to deliver on those tasks.

• Be religious about having one-on-ones with each of your people. You can do this weekly or bi-weekly, but you must do it. Make sure each of your direct reports knows this is their time to discuss their agenda. Encourage them to send you an agenda in advance so they are forced to organize their thoughts prior to the meeting. This will set them up to get the most out of their time alone with you.

• Be ruthless about eliminating, delegating, and shortening meetings. Examine the meetings you are in. There are two kinds of meetings: the ones you don’t call (which you have very little control over) and the ones you do call. Decide if it is humanly possible to send someone else to the meetings you do not call. Sometimes it can be a way to develop another person on your team: task them with taking excellent notes and reporting back anything you need to know.

Meetings you call, you rule. Make sure there is a crystal clear agenda and focus relentlessly on the outcomes you seek. Keep a list of tangential issues that crop up and don’t let your group get off track. Shorten all meetings: most hour-long meetings can really be done in 40 minutes.

• Do not accept tasks someone else can do. You have enough on your plate! If someone else has the competence and skills to do something, give it away.

You are going to feel overwhelmed for awhile, Two Jobs, and that’s okay. You’ll settle in and be fine—just remember that you are in charge now, and that means making hard decisions about where your focus goes and how you invest every precious minute of your time.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a business for a global company. I am very bright and hardworking, have risen fast, and continue to rise. I will probably end up being a senior leader for the company someday—if not here, then in another area.

My problem: I am a jerk. I have heard others describe me as such when they thought I wasn’t around. This isn’t news to me; I know I have a real problem connecting with others. People usually fail to live up to my expectations. In fact, my direct reports disappoint me regularly—so do my peers—and I make no bones about how I feel. I also have a hard time staying present in meetings because I am so busy matching what I think should be happening with what is actually happening.

I have read up on authenticity—but seriously, if I were to be truly authentic, I would be run out of town. Trying not to be nasty takes virtually all of my self-control.

How can I stop being so judgmental? How can I lighten up and be more present? How can I be nicer?

Rhymes with Witch

____________________________________________________________

Dear Rhymes with Witch,

Wow. It sounds like it’s hard to be you right now. But here’s the good news: you are aware that you have a problem, which is half the battle. You possess valuable self-awareness and apparently have also developed some handy self-control. These are excellent prerequisites for change.

The next step is to get some clarity on why it is so important for you to be less judgmental, more present, and more kind. I use kind instead of nice because I believe there is a distinction. Here is an excerpt from Owen Fitzpatrick’s blog:

Being nice is when you are polite to people and treat people well. Being kind is when you care about people and show you care. Sometimes you can be kind to someone even though you aren’t nice to them—and you can certainly be nice to someone but also be unkind.

Here’s why the distinction between kind and nice is significant: Niceness is all fine and well, but it is superficial. It only requires a change in your behavior. You can Google “How to be nicer” and about a million good ideas will pop up for you. (I know this because I just did it.)

Kindness, though, has more depth, will help you go the distance, and will require a change in your character. If you are really signed up for the job of changing your character, you must first establish what makes it such a critical goal. Because it is hard work, my friend—worth it, but hard.

So what is the point for you? You are a superstar who could probably get away with being awful for the rest of your career. There is quite a bit of research that proves cleaning up your act would help ensure your rise to the top; but there are also plenty of rotten meanies at the top, everywhere.

In your case, your motivation may lie in how exhausted you get trying to control yourself and how hard it is to stay present as you indulge in your “judgy” ways. Or is it possible that it might actually bother you that people call you names when you aren’t around? If that happened to me, I would be crying in the ladies’ room. How did you feel when it happened to you? Either way, in order to change, you will need to hook into your motivation.

Once you have done that, you will really need to get help. You are striving for something hard and you will need a lot of support. Don’t ignore this part. You have come this far on your innate gifts, which has been relatively easy for you—if you had struggled mightily to overcome your shortcomings in the past, you probably wouldn’t be so judgmental. So do not try to go on this journey alone.

• Work with a therapist to get to the bottom of what may have shaped your meanie habits. Possibly you were judged harshly in your family of origin? There could be some value in going back to explore what got you here.
• Hire a coach to help you sift through all of the possible ways you could be more present and more kind, and to support you in finding a few methods that work for you.
• Discuss the whole thing with a friend who has your trust and respect.
• Look around for someone at work who might mentor you on this journey—someone who matches you in IQ, work ethic, and high standards, but who is warm and well liked.

It wouldn’t be overkill if you tried all of the above.

Once you get your support system set up, you might consider learning how to meditate or practice mindfulness to quiet your busy monkey brain. Think about small ways to manage yourself more effectively by building some new habits. But now I’m jumping the gun.

Begin by discovering what is so important about your becoming a better person. That will help you formulate the first step of how you are going to do it. This journey will humble you and it will be painful. You will get the stuffing beaten out of you as you walk this road, which will help you be more compassionate and empathetic toward others—and that’s the actual point, is it not?

I’m impressed you have come this far, RWW. Now comes the really hard part. Apply that formidable intellect and that implacable will, get a lot of help, and you might just make it.

You will need good luck, too, but I find that fortune favors the brave and those who genuinely want to be better.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

During my time as a coach, I have often utilized SWOT analyses to help teams analyze their organization’s Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. This is a simple, user-friendly method to help a team or a board focus on key issues affecting their business. This type of analysis often can be used as a precursor to a more comprehensive strategic planning session.

One benefit of the SWOT process is that it encourages teams to not only brainstorm ideas but also face untapped opportunities and potential threats. Consistent use of this framework can give an organization a competitive advantage through dialogue regarding brand, culture, new products or services, and capabilities.

What some people don’t realize, though, is that SWOT analysis can also be an effective personal strategic planning tool. Crafting your personal SWOT matrix is a powerful technique that can be used, for example, when you are seeking a career change or facing a major shift in your life.

Here are three steps to get started:

Step 1 – Identify what exists now. List all strengths that exist now. List all weaknesses that exist now. Be honest.

Step 2 – Look to the future. List all opportunities (potential strengths) that may exist in the future. List all threats (potential weaknesses) that may occur in the future.

Step 3 – Create a matrix/get a plan. Enter your ideas in the appropriate quadrant (see figure). Notice that strengths and weaknesses are internal forces; opportunities and threats are external. See how each quadrant has a relationship with another? What strengths exist that could overcome weaknesses? What weaknesses need to be overcome in order to embrace a new opportunity? Review your matrix and think about a plan.

Here are a few helpful questions to increase your awareness around internal and external factors:

• What skills and capabilities do you have?
• What qualities, values, or beliefs make you stand out from others?
• What are the skills you need to develop?
• What personal difficulties do you need to overcome to reach your goal?
• What external influences or opportunities can help you achieve success?
• Who could support you to help you achieve your objectives?
• What external influences may hinder your success?

A SWOT matrix can provide a foundation to help you create goals and action steps. You may consider addressing your weaknesses by building skills or self-leadership capabilities. Carefully review your opportunities, as they may be used to your advantage. And consider how threats could be minimized or eliminated by shifting personal priorities or gaining new knowledge.

It’s common for people to experience blind spots around their own strengths and weaknesses, so don’t hesitate to seek out opinions from friends, family members, and colleagues. Also, be willing to share your SWOT matrix with a partner who will hold you accountable for action steps and celebrate your progress.

Best of luck—and happy personal planning!

About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine,

About three months ago, I was promoted to COO in my organization. I wasn’t expecting it—a lot of changes happened at once. A large group of people were fired and the next thing I knew I was COO.

I have no real senior leadership experience, but here is the crazy thing: I’m pretty sure I can do this. I’m super organized and I have an exhaustive knowledge of the mechanics of the organization. My problem is that when I try to prioritize on what to tackle first, I get completely overwhelmed. I’m not sure where to start.

I thought about asking my new team, but they seem as mystified as I am about what I’m doing in this role. I really don’t want to reveal my ignorance to them but at the same time I don’t want my boss to lose faith in me. Any ideas would be helpful.

Unexpected Success

Dear Unexpected Success,

It’s obvious your boss also thinks you can do this—so you should absolutely play hard, and play to win. You have some leadership experience and you will figure out the senior part. You have nothing to lose.

Thomas Leonard, my mentor and a pioneer of the coaching profession, says, “Anything worth doing is worth getting help with.” The first order of business is to get help. The fastest way to bomb out would be for you to try to do too much, too fast, all by yourself. Do you have anyone from your past work life you might call to mentor you? Are there any COOs in your industry you could reach out to for advice? I suggest you hire a very experienced executive coach—someone with whom you can discuss everything you need to work through in total confidentiality. Your organization will probably pay for it. Also, lobby for an assistant to help manage your time and keep you focused. The more support you can get for yourself right now, the better off you will be.

Sit down with your boss and ask them to outline your top three to five priorities. Decide what you can do in what time frame and check it in writing with your boss so there is no misunderstanding. Focus only on your boss’s priorities and on building support for your leadership.

To succeed as a leader you need your team to trust you. Begin by spending what will feel like precious time getting to know each member of your team so that you can understand their strengths, experience, and expertise. The more you can empower them with crystal-clear goals to lead their own teams, the more you will be able to get done. Build trust and connectivity with your team by creating and sharing your Leadership Point of View.

You also need to understand your peers and your unofficial influencers in the organization. Create a relationship map to identify all of the critical players in your organization, and make a concerted effort to get to know them and understand their goals. Build a coalition of support by helping others achieve their goals and leveraging their help to achieve yours.

Once you have some clarity about your priorities, are moving toward your goals, and have started to build your network of support, then you can worry about building your own strategic point of view and influencing as a strategic leader. That day will come after your very high functioning operational machine is built.

You have a rare opportunity to take advantage of an odd situation. If you can keep your wits about you, get the right help, and stay grounded, you will be fine. Better than fine—great!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

In my role as an organizational coach, from time to time I am asked to work with leaders who struggle to manage anger and emotional outbursts. Amazingly, they often don’t realize that going on an angry tirade during a staff meeting or berating a direct report in front of colleagues is conduct unbecoming of a leader. In fact, uncontrolled anger often can be a career staller—and it definitely derails leadership presence. It also can take a toll on personal health and relationships both in and out of the workplace.

Coaching these types of individuals is challenging because they are labeled “problem children” and can create a toxic environment. However, the work can be rewarding when the leader is open to being coached and receiving honest feedback and is willing to change by increasing their self-awareness.

I always ask two questions of a client who struggles with managing self:

• How do you want to be perceived as a leader in your organization?
• How do you think others perceive you as a leader?

Once the client answers these questions, we begin to create clarity about anger triggers or hot buttons. We discuss the importance of recognizing physical changes that happen within the body when rage begins to rumble. These might include the face becoming red, heart rate increasing, blood pressure increasing, palms becoming sweaty, or seeing stars. It is critical for the client to recognize their personal signs so that they can begin to implement self-management techniques.

Do you find yourself fuming when a work conversation goes bad or when your boss or a colleague dismisses your efforts in a meeting? Do anger issues lurk in other areas of your life? Here are 7 tips for keeping your temper in check:

1. Identify your personal anger triggers or hot buttons. Recognize the physical changes happening as your anger builds.
2. Rehearse mental procedures and ask/say to yourself:
   • What is the source of my anger?
   • Do I need to do something about what is angering me?
   • I will remain calm and breathe deeply to allow oxygen flow to help me think clearly.
   • I will not take this situation personally.
   • I will slow down my thoughts and gain self-control.
3. Take a personal time out. Walk away for an hour, gain control, and cool off.
4. Implement relaxation skills. Examples include deep breathing; imagining a special vacation place and concentrating on its beauty; repeating a calming word that you choose; listening to music; writing your thoughts in a journal.
5. Get some exercise. Physical activity is a powerful outlet.
6. Examine solutions regarding what caused your anger.
7. Accept responsibility for managing yourself by responding to anger in a healthy way.

These are all simple steps that require self-discipline and courage. Daniel Goleman, author of the book Emotional Intelligence, says this: “Reasonable people—the ones who maintain control over their emotions—are people who can sustain safe, fair environments. In these settings, drama is very low and productivity is very high. Top performers flock to these organizations and are not apt to leave them.”

Use these 7 steps to keep your emotions in control and model how to create a safe, encouraging, and productive environment for everyone you lead.

 About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

We all have those times when we feel out of focus or off track. When this happens to you, do you ever consider that it could be due to poor self-management practices? For example, perhaps you were so intent on achieving the next level of your career that you sacrificed your health and well-being. Or maybe you felt stuck in a relationship that you found suddenly unfulfilling.

During my 15 years of being a professional coach, I have witnessed many clients struggling with similar circumstances. One tool I have used successfully and also suggested to clients is a values identification process. It is a powerful tool that helps people facilitate wise choices, strategize action steps that move them forward, and recognize situations in which their values are being compromised.

A useful online resource is this values assessment from mindtools.com. This site provides a list of common values to choose from and challenging questions to help you identify personal values. Here is a simple method to complete the exercise:

• Review a list of 30 to 40 values that appeal to you.
• Choose 10 to 15 that resonate – values you currently honor.
• Review the 10 to 15 once again. Notice that some can be sub-categories of others.
• After close review, select 5 values that are most important to you from that group.
• Review those once again. Which ones do you not want to live without?
• Choose the top 3 values you feel are critical to who you are and what you stand for.
• Prioritize those 3 according to your personal preference.

If you need more help in clarifying your core values, answer these 4 questions:

1. What values must you have in your life to feel fulfilled?
2. What types of values keep showing up in your life?
3. What are the values that are core to the way you do your job, maintain your relationships, parent your children, and/or lead others?
4. What values challenge or stretch you the most?

One of the ways I help clients refocus and get back on track is to have them identify their top three values according to personal priority. We discuss the questions listed above and determine the values that need to be enhanced or maintained. Often, the reason a client feels out of sync or off track has to do with their unconsciously setting aside an important value. Some clients are in a work environment where they feel compromised because their values don’t match the company’s values.

In nearly every values discussion, the question of what is most important to the client emerges. At that point, it is helpful to identify action steps to realign the client with their top values. These might include setting personal boundaries, letting go of perfection, seeking a new job, or building new friendships.

Our values are a gauge that measures how close we are to our true selves. If we stray too far away, life can feel as though we are in constant conflict. Although it is worthwhile to identify personal values, it is critical to perform an occasional self-check. Are you living, working, and leading others in a manner that brings you fulfillment? Our values often change depending on our circumstances and life experiences.

Values identification is the foundation of self-management. It creates a level of self-awareness that helps us make wise decisions and become aligned with what truly matters.

 About the Author

Patricia Sauer is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world.

Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Hi Madeleine,

Earlier this year I joined a consulting firm that works with companies in my previous industry. I had taken a break to get a management degree and got a taste of consulting doing an internship that was part of my program.

I believed consulting would be a different world where I would learn a lot—but now, seven months in, I recognize that I learned a lot more five years ago when I started my career as an entry level employee.

My workload isn’t interesting or challenging. My peers are all younger than me, and all they do is complain about their jobs and bad mouth others. And when I told my supervisor how I feel about my job during my midyear review, she didn’t seem to care.

I’ve always had opportunities in the past to work with people my own age or older—people I could learn from who knew more than I did. I’m worried that I’m stuck in the wrong job and that it will negate the five years’ experience I had when I came here.

Please help!

Feeling Stuck

Dear Feeling Stuck,

Everyone is motivated to work for various reasons—the need to pay the bills is usually number one. But it is clear that you deeply value a safe and collegial working environment. A learning environment, challenging work, and adding value also seem to be very important to you.

It sounds like you are not going to get any of those where you are now. But you are only “stuck” if you are being held hostage. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case, so … go! Go as soon as you can. You haven’t let so much time go by that you have lost the value of your previous stint. In fact, you might think about going back to your old company, perhaps this time in a management position.

Honor your own experience and instincts. Find yourself a job where you can excel and a working environment that brings out the best in people.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

People with high emotional intelligence are able to recognize emotions that surface within themselves and others. Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ, refers to a person’s ability to identify and understand their own emotions and the emotions of other people.

To your knowledge, have you ever interacted with a person with low EQ? If you have, it’s safe to say the interaction may not have been very pleasant or productive.

Coaching sessions often focus, directly or indirectly, on emotional intelligence. A coach helps a leader surface and recognize the emotions that result in the behaviors that are driving them. A leader who can measure the effectiveness of their behaviors and manage those emotions can create appropriate and productive leadership behaviors for themselves.

The skills involved in most emotional intelligence models include the following:

• Self-Awareness: This is where it begins! Being self-aware. Using your personal power.
• Self-Management: Being in control of your behaviors based on your emotions. Self-regulation.
• Social or Other Awareness: Being aware of others’ emotions. Showing empathy and being service oriented.
• Relationship Management: Leveraging self and others’ emotions to build collaboration, communication, and trust.

Daniel Goleman, author of many books on EQ including Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, highlights a study that determined people with high EQ have better mental health, job performance, and lives. Goleman states: “In a study of skills that distinguish star performers in every field, from entry-level jobs to executive positions, the single most important factor was not IQ, advanced degrees, or technical experience—it was EQ. Of the competencies required for excellence in performance in the job studies, 67 percent were emotional competencies.”

EQ is about adapting your behaviors and leadership styles to create productive interactions. This is at the core of effective leadership. Everyone experiences good days, bad days, positive moods, “just don’t feel like it” moods, tiredness, low motivation, etc. We are human and mood swings come naturally. And we have the ability to manage how we act on our emotions and how we deal with the emotions of others.

With some coaching and a little practice, anyone can increase their level of emotional intelligence and positively impact their relationships at home and in the workplace.

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Does training really work?

“If we as leadership, learning, and development professionals can’t answer that question with an enthusiastic yes, we’re all in trouble,” says Dr. Paul Leone, ROI expert at Verizon and author of the book Measuring and Maximizing Training Impact: Bridging the Gap between Training and Business Results.

“The truth is, HR people don’t always know if training is working,” says Leone. “Often we ask for budget at the beginning of the year, but at the end of the year we aren’t able to show the training has had an impact on the bottom line. That’s not a good position to be in.

“Imagine how much better you would feel if you could go into meetings with senior leaders and stakeholders saying, ‘This time I have some data—and I can show that we are impacting the bottom line by X amount of dollars.’ I think that’s where we all want to be in the industry.”

The good news, according to Leone, is that you can demonstrate the impact of training if you know where to look, how to set up your initiative, and how to present your data.

“Begin with the end in mind,” says Leone. “What are the leadership behaviors you want to impact and what is the benefit in terms of increased sales or productivity, decreased costs from better alignment or efficiencies, or improvements to the customer experience?

“Senior leaders want to know that the money they are spending on training is generating a good return on investment. If you don’t clearly identify the benefits along with the costs of training, it creates some pretty lopsided equations and makes it difficult to talk about ROI—because training is seen only as a cost. That’s a vulnerable position.”

Start Small and Be Conservative in Your Approach

For L&D professionals just getting started with measuring ROI, Leone suggests focusing on a small, manageable test case, such as a pilot study with a group of managers who have direct reports with easily quantifiable key performance indicators (KPI).

“Two things are important here,” says Leone. “First, remember that you are measuring the benefit of better leader behaviors by looking at the improvement in performance of that leader’s direct reports—that’s where the bottom-line impact will show up. For example, better leader behaviors from a call center manager will translate into better performance from that manager’s frontline associates. Better goal-setting and coaching skills from a sales manager will translate into better sales performance from that manager’s individual salespeople.”

“Second, choose managers whose direct reports have KPIs that are easier to convert into bottom line impact. Don’t try to quantify the impact of better research and development performance among a group of engineers as your first project. Choose a group where you can measure shorter-term impact and easily convert improved performance into dollars and cents.”

Use a Proven Model and Process

Leone also recommends using a proven approach such as the Phillips ROI model and the Kirkpatrick levels of change. He suggests focusing on levels 3, 4, and 5 in the Kirkpatrick model which cover leader behavior changes and bottom-line impact.

Leone uses a survey administered 90 days after training to measure perceived changes in manager behavior. To corroborate answers and provide a more airtight case when presenting evidence of changed behaviors to senior executives, Leone surveys both the managers who participated in the class and their direct reports.

“It’s important to not only ask the managers if they have changed their behavior, but also ask the direct reports if they have experienced changed behavior from their manager. This provides a corroborating data point.”

To isolate the impact of the changed behaviors on business performance, Leone recommends comparing the financial performance of the treatment group (the managers who went through the training) with a control group (similar managers in an identical business unit who have not yet gone through the training).

“Comparing the treatment group with a control group allows you to isolate the benefits of the training. When senior leaders know that everything else between the two groups is identical, they are more at ease attributing the improved performance to the training initiative.”

Keep the Presentation Simple for Best Results

Leone also has a tip for how to present the data to senior leaders: keep it simple!

“When I first began presenting data after graduate school, I thought it was necessary to show things like multiple regressions and multivariate analysis in my presentations. But in reality, it had the opposite effect. When I made my presentations more understandable, they started to go higher and higher in the organization.

“If you want to squash your story, throw in a lot of numbers and tables,” says Leone with a smile. “But if you want to push that story up the hierarchy to the highest levels, make it simple and it will get up there.”

Establish Credibility that Lasts and Builds Confidence

“The goal with your ROI presentations is to create credibility within the organization—where you can say, ‘If we are going to keep a program, we are going to run a pilot and we’ll measure it. If it’s great, we’ll scale it across the organization. If it’s not so great, we won’t.’ I can guarantee you that at some point in the very near future, someone is going to ask if a training worked. You will want a study and some data to show that it did.

“Remember, you don’t need to measure everything at first,” says Leone. “Go in and measure one or two programs and do it right. Once you get your foot in the door as a credible evaluator, you’ll have a much easier time securing budget in the future.”

Would you like to learn more about calculating ROI and measuring the impact of training? Join us for a free webinar!

Leadership Training—Calculating ROI and Making the Business Case

Thursday, November 29, 2018, 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Improving leadership skills is one of the best ways to impact your organization’s bottom line. Still, many leadership, learning, and talent development professionals struggle with both identifying the expected return on investment for training expenditures and measuring impact after an initiative.

In this webinar, David Witt, program director at The Ken Blanchard Companies, teams up with Dr. Paul Leone, author of Measuring and Maximizing Training Impact: Bridging the Gap between Training and Business Results to show you how to identify anticipated fiscal impact of a leadership training initiative and how to measure it in a cost-effective manner after the class has been conducted.

You’ll learn:

• How to calculate the ROI for your leadership training initiative using Blanchard’s Leadership Training ROI Worksheet. (Worksheet provided to all registrants.)
• How to measure the impact of training using the methodology outlined in Leone’s book Measuring and Maximizing Training Impact.
• How to improve the adoption of new leadership practices from the classroom to the work environment.

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to quantify the impact of leadership training in proposals—and how to set up your training to deliver on expectations.

Register today using this link!

A total of twelve characteristics were identified, five of which were agreed upon by all of the scholars polled. These five most prominent servant leadership characteristics were:

1. Valuing People. Servant leaders value people for who they are, not just for what they give to the organization. Servant leaders are committed first and foremost to people—particularly, their followers.
2. Humility. Servant leaders do not promote themselves; they put other people first. They are actually humble, not humble as an act. Servant leaders know leadership is not all about them—things are accomplished through others.
3. Listening. Servant leaders listen receptively and nonjudgmentally. They are willing to listen because they truly want to learn from other people—and to understand the people they serve, they must listen deeply. Servant leaders seek first to understand, and then to be understood. This discernment enables the servant leader to know when their service is needed.
4. Trust. Servant leaders give trust to others. They willingly take this risk for the people they serve. Servant leaders are trusted because they are authentic and dependable.
5. Caring. Servant leaders have people and purpose in their heart. They display a kindness and concern for others. As the term servant leadership implies, servant leaders are here to serve, not to be served. Servant leaders truly care for the people they serve.

To a large degree, these findings mimic the results of polling that The Ken Blanchard Companies conducted with 130 leadership, learning, and talent development professionals who attended a series of servant leadership executive briefings in cities across North America in 2018. Topping the list was empathy, closely followed by selflessness and humility. Also mentioned multiple times were being authentic, caring, collaborative, compassionate, honest, open-minded, patient, and self-aware.

Both lists can serve as good starting points for HR and L&D executives looking to bring an others-focused culture into their organizations. What’s been your experience?  Feel free to enter additional characteristics of a servant leader in the comments section below.

Interested in learning more about bringing servant leadership principles into your organization? Join us for a free webinar on November 15!

Dr. Vicki Halsey, vice president of applied learning for The Ken Blanchard Companies and author of Brilliance By Design, will conduct a presentation for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals on 3 Keys to Building a Servant Leadership Curriculum.

In this enlightening webinar, Dr. Halsey will connect servant leadership characteristics to competencies and share best practices on how to design a comprehensive curriculum for your organization. You can learn more here. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a few years in, working on Wall Street.  I am a financial analyst and am pretty good at my job.

At my recent performance review my boss told me that I need to “build my brand.”  

What the heck? I tried to get some detail out of him but didn’t get much. He said to get ahead here, I need to find ways to stand out and get noticed. I was figuring if I aced my advanced finance exams and did great work, the rest would take care of itself.

Can you shed some light on this?

In the Dark

Dear In the Dark,

The first thing I can tell you is that nothing ever takes care of itself. There is no fairness, no justice, and no reward for working hard. Doing great work is the ante that keeps you in a job and gets you one thing: more work. It doesn’t get you noticed or promoted—especially in the shark tank that is Wall Street.

You’re going to want to be clear about your career goals, develop relationships with anyone who can help you achieve them, and be memorable to anyone who matters. If you’re committed enough to your own success to study for and ace those fiendish exams, then you might be able to devote a little brain space and energy toward thinking about your brand.

I first heard about the concept of personal branding from Tom Peters back in the 90s. What I thought at the time would be a fad has really stuck. Essentially, it means thinking of yourself as a product that you need to keep top of mind with potential consumers.

This means you have to apply fundamental marketing theory to yourself. What are the features and benefits of you? Who might be interested in them? How do you differentiate yourself from other people like you? What real or perceived value do you bring to anyone who might work with you?

I can see your face right now, all scrunched up with distaste. I get it. I do. But you are an analytical thinker and obviously smart enough, so you can do this.

The key is to start with what is true. Those who try to build a brand based on lies can’t keep it up long term. Think about:

• Who are you? I worked with one client who called himself a Hoosier—which essentially means being from the state of Indiana, but also stands for being straightforward and honest. Early in his career he hid it because he thought it made him seem unsophisticated, but eventually he built a very successful persona based on this and it always felt authentic because it was.
• What is important to you? These are your values—what matters to you. You can develop a reputation for being a stickler for accuracy, being a data junkie, or being able to synthesize numbers into a narrative that is interesting to non-numbers types. Maybe you’re a super sharp dresser? Always into the latest hair styles? Keep it up, be consistent, and make it a signature.
• What makes you unique? What odd combination of skills do you have that nobody else has?
• What are your signature strengths? (If you don’t know, you can take a free assessment here).
• What do people get from hanging out with you? If you really have no idea, ask your friends. They will tell you if you’re funny, or if you always ask the odd question that nobody else thinks of, or if you’re the person who knows every microbrewery in the tri-state area.

From the list of what is important to you, you can build standards for your own behavior and appearance that will always be consistent. You can make choices to reveal certain aspects of yourself, when, and to whom. This is what makes you special and memorable to people and this is what your boss is trying to tell you. Just doing good work and keeping your head down is not going to get you anywhere.

There is a whole social media aspect to this as well—you can use your self-discoveries to curate a compelling representation of yourself on social media. I personally would rather have dental work, and I suspect you feel the same way. But you are at the beginning of your career, so I don’t know that you will be able to avoid it. I found a recent article that may help you with more specifics on this. I like the way the author focuses on how you add value.

Finally, part of your brand is going to be defined by who you know and hang out with. Find people you like, are interested in, and can learn from based on what how you answer the questions above. Join committees at work that are focused on things that are important to you. Environmental issues? Saving Australian Shepherds? Whatever it is, find your tribe and hang out with them.

Identify the folks who have the job you want to be doing within the next three years and ask one of them to be your mentor. The first one may turn you down, but keep trying. You’re probably thinking “Oh no, I’m an introvert, I can’t do that!” Yes, you can—and if your career is important to you, you will. You can be as shy and introverted as you want in your personal life, but you’re going to have to move out of your comfort zone at work.

I know this is a lot of extra stuff to think about, so take it step by step. Slow and steady wins the race. Apply that work ethic and that considerable intelligence to this problem, and you will be just fine.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I recently took a director level job with a huge Fortune 50 organization. I have been thrown into the deep end and I am worried about completely bombing out. I have had zero onboarding, so I am constantly making errors and spending tons of time backtracking and clearing things up.

I am really trying to do all of the things that Michael Watkins says to do in The First 90 Days, but his methods pre-suppose a sane organization. I am in back-to-back meetings all day, taking work home at night, and I have a list of deliverables as long as my arm.

When I ask my boss about how to prioritize my work, she just looks at me blankly. She clearly expects it to all get done at the same time. I have two direct reports who are already swamped and I am working on hiring a third one. 

I am used to getting things done and making an impact, but I can’t do that here. I am literally in despair that I left a great job to jump into this hell. Should I just jump ship before I get fired?

Want to Jump Ship

Dear Want to Jump Ship,

This sounds hard—regret about leaving a comfortable situation for a hellish one can really take the wind out of your sails. But take heart—you are suffering from the classic, predictable stage of disillusioned learner! In our SLII® training, we teach that we all start on a goal or a task as an “enthusiastic beginner,” and then hit the wall and become a “disillusioned learner.” This development level is marked by all the things you are thinking: “What was I thinking, leaving my old job?” “I am never going to make it here.” “Should I jump ship?”

The thing I can say to you is: this stage won’t last. You are going to figure this out and get yourself on an even keel from which you can make a rational decision. Big corporations can feel like lunatic asylums—I know, I have worked in some.

You will find your groove and fit right in. Or you may not. Either way, you will make the choice to stay or go based on the criteria you decide.

So what are your criteria for an organization you want to work for? Examples might be: amazing leadership, the company is making the world a better place, you are making more money and amazing benefits which will allow you to do something you always wanted to do. Make your list. When you feel as if you can breathe again, consult it and see if you are in the right place.

In the meantime, since your boss has no interest in helping you prioritize, you will have to prioritize for yourself. Since you are at director level, your boss probably assumes you know how to do this and expects you to do it. Decide what tasks you think are most important, find something that can get you a win, and focus on that. You might choose wrong—but honestly, what do you have to lose? Do a couple of things well and get your feet under you.

Take a few minutes a day to meditate, calm your brain down, and breathe. Take a deep breath in and exhale. Take care of yourself, eat lunch, and go home at a reasonable hour. You will wake up one day soon and realize you are fine.

Breathe.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

When I listen to organizational sponsors express their needs for leadership development, it can be framed as a need to shift people from almost ready to ready NOW. Coaching is a significant way to develop high potentials into emerging leaders. Here are three ways a coach can help:

• Identifying strengths. Coaches can assist leaders in identifying and understanding how to leverage their unique gifts.
• Practicing new skills. Coaching creates an environment in which leaders can discuss and practice new skills and behaviors.
• Developing more advanced skills. Coaching causes leaders to mature and move past problem solving toward an increased ability to manage paradoxical situations.

Coaching provides a process for helping leaders deliver on their best intentions. Supporting a high potential manager with a coach creates a double impact: as the coach draws out information, ideas, solutions, and high level thinking from the emerging leader, the leader can, in turn, draw out information, ideas and higher level thinking from their people. Thus, the emerging leader encourages self-reliance and ownership of the work that’s being done by their direct reports.

Coaching has the potential to create an organizational cultural shift where future leaders continually develop future leaders.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

You have to resist the temptation to treat a servant leadership initiative as just a training intervention and instead see it, ideally, as a gradual way of being—a slow, consistent approach that embraces hiring practices, vision and values work, and teaching and encouraging the skills that allow leaders to enter into a deeper trusted partnership with their people.

“A mindset of partnership and safe conversations are the cornerstone of any successful program—but you need to have the vision and values in place first,” says Freytag. “You also need alignment at the top.”

In developing a holistic approach, Freytag points to research conducted by The Ken Blanchard Companies that looks at the connection between leader behaviors, impact on the work environment, and the way employees make decisions about whether or not they will support the mission of the company.

“People always have a choice —we call it discretionary effort,” says Freytag. “Compliance may work in the short term, but if you truly want the type of commitment and effort that sustains high performance, you have to tap into something more. You have to meet people’s needs. You have to make it safe for people to tell you what they need. It’s about reciprocity. If you can identify and help others take action on what they hold most dear, they will do the same for you.”

Freytag believes a partnering approach—managers and direct reports working together to achieve goals—is best.

“A partnering approach requires higher skill levels in conversation, listening, receiving and delivering feedback, and coaching—but it’s the only way I know to consistently deliver sustainable results and achieve high levels of performance with the workforce,” says Freytag.

Turning into people’s needs

Freytag says servant leadership is a partnership that makes it safe for people to express their needs on the job. It’s about leaders being approachable and turning toward their direct reports in a spirit of partnership to discuss those needs and provide support.

“As a leader, you must realize you don’t have to know it all. You must listen to learn—and make every person you talk to feel heard. When you do that, you set up a sense of approachability. People start bringing their concerns to you because they see you are not only well-intentioned but also available to listen. Your focus must be more on them and less on yourself. This is an essential of coaching. Servant leaders understand that they are always leading by example. Servant leaders also choose and behave so that they reflect the very behaviors they wish to see in the workforce.”

“When having discussions with some leaders in my past, I’ve had some give me their full attention and acknowledge my position only to let my suggestions fall on deaf ears and go nowhere. As a result, I didn’t really feel heard. The leaders I have had the highest affinity and respect for are those who were willing to have a discussion and to do more than just acknowledge my point of view. They got their arrogance and pride out of the way so they could hear my comments. They didn’t have to agree but they certainly made me feel heard.”

“As a servant leader, you have to raise your hand and show others it’s okay to raise their hand if they don’t know the answer. Leadership is about leading by example. You’re always doing that—it’s your choice whether the example is a good one or a bad one.”

Once you give yourself a heart check and are working on being more open, approachable, and available, Freytag says you’re ready to return to the basics of performance management—goal setting, coaching, and review—but with a different mindset.

“So what does it mean to serve—and what do you do differently? We use an operational leadership model called Situational Leadership^® II (SLII®.) SLII® teaches leaders first that people have needs and how to diagnose the different levels of needs people go through on various tasks and goals, and then how to help their people with those needs at their level.

“When aspiring servant leaders take a situational approach, they learn how to help their people grow and develop by meeting their needs for competence and autonomy. It’s a great model that lets leaders know where they are in a conversation. Using this approach puts the leaders focus on the needs of their people first and foremost.”

Freytag asks himself a simple question at the end of every performance related conversation to make sure he stays focused on meeting the needs of others.

“I ask myself: is this person more or less dependent on me on this topic as a result of this conversation? If they are more dependent on me, I’ve missed an opportunity. If they are less dependent on me, I’ve helped them grow and develop competence—which meets a basic psychological need. Now they feel more viable and are able to thrive. That’s a practical, real time, conversation-based perspective. It’s how you stay valuable to others.”

For leadership, learning, and talent development professionals considering a servant leadership initiative in their organizations, Freytag offers some caution on going too big at first.

“Don’t start with the training initiative right away. Start a little smaller—begin with vision and values. Where are you going? What’s important and why? Where are the gaps? I always guard against going too large or too fast with the aspiration of a large-scale training intervention, especially at the beginning of the conversation.”

Freytag also encourages senior leaders to walk the talk.

“It can be as simple as catching others doing things right. Develop recognition programs that recognize when others exhibit behaviors that serve the needs of others. Demonstrate that you value both relationships and results. Slowly you will plant the seeds and prepare the soil for a larger initiative. Once that gets rolled out through the ranks, you can focus on feedback, listening, and accountability.

“Now, piece by piece, you are building a servant leadership culture—and creating a work environment where people can grow and thrive.”

Would you like to learn more about creating a servant leadership curriculum for your organization? Then join us for a free webinar!

Creating a Servant Leadership Curriculum

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

9:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Join Blanchard senior consulting partner Bob Freytag as he explores how to create a servant leadership curriculum in your organization. In this special session designed for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals, you’ll learn:

• What servant leadership is—and what it isn’t
• Research on self-oriented vs. others-oriented leaders
• The power of vision, values, and purpose
• Identifying your Leadership Point of View
• Taking a 4-step head, heart, hands, and habits approach to skill development

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to apply servant leadership principles to improve satisfaction, performance, and engagement in your company. You’ll walk away from this session energized and encouraged with fresh ideas to apply in your organization.

Register using this link!

Take an Inside-Out Approach to Improving Customer Service Scores

Customer service expert Kathy Cuff believes that organizations need to take a look at how their culture impacts service. That starts by recognizing that everyone has internal customers. “It’s about looking at the relationships and mindset within the organization.”

You can check out the entire April issue here. Want Ignite delivered to your InBox each month?  You can subscribe for free using this link.

Of course, I am a fan of Leading at A Higher Level, which outlines a lot of The Ken Blanchard Companies content. And then of course there is the brand new Servant Leadership in Action.  I love both of these books and recommend them highly.

My son also got me thinking about some of the attributes a great manager should either have or be working on.  Here is a list of 15 attributes that serves as a good starting point—these suggestions are taken from notes our Blanchard coaches have made about what they focus on during coaching calls.

Attributes/Practices of Great Managers

1. Be interested and curious
2. Do no harm (or don’t be a big jerk)
3. Admit when you are wrong and apologize when appropriate
4. Keep your eye on the ball – don’t waste time on what doesn’t matter
5. Surround yourself with the best people you can
6. Be a role model from the behaviors you are holding your people accountable for
7. Have at least one bright person you trust who challenges you even if it is annoying
8. Exercise iron clad personal discipline when it comes to self-care
9. Practice self-control so that you can respond instead of react
10. Do the hard things first
11. Mean what you say, say what you mean
12. Do what you say you are going to do
13. Be crystal clear about your expectations
14. Listen more than you talk
15. Keep learning and growing

What am I missing?  Please do add your thoughts!

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Servant Leadership: 20 Tips & Strategies from Today’s Top Leaders

In a recent Servant Leadership in Action Livecast, over 3,200 leadership, learning, and talent development professionals had an opportunity to hear from 20 of the contributing authors in a new book co-edited by Ken Blanchard and Renee Broadwell. The book, Servant Leadership in Action: How You Can Achieve Great Relationships and Results features 44 short articles that take a fresh look at servant leadership principles and how they can be applied in today’s organizations.

You can check out the entire March issue here. Want Ignite delivered to your InBox each month?  You can subscribe for free using this link.

The book, Servant Leadership in Action: How You Can Achieve Great Relationships and Results features 44 short articles that take a fresh look at servant leadership principles and how they can be applied in today’s organizations.

The recent Livecast explored five of the six main sections of the book. In section one, Fundamentals of Servant Leadership, viewers heard from Mark Sanborn, Jon Gordon, Jim Kouzes, and Holly Culhane on the origins of servant leadership, how to apply it at work and home and what the role of a leader is in today’s work environment.

In section two, Elements of Servant Leadership, viewers watched short videos from Jim Dittmar, Stephen M. R. Covey, Neal Nybo, and Mark Miller on the key behavior traits of servant leaders, the role of trust, personality challenges, and how to get started.

In section three, Lessons in Servant Leadership, viewers saw Tom Mullins, Shirley Bullard, Art Barter, and Margie Blanchard describe how servant leadership principles have played a role in their work lives and what they took away from the experience.

In section four, Putting Servant Leadership to Work, viewers watched videos from current and former CEOs Garry Ridge of WD-40, James Blanchard of Synovus Financial, and Cheryl Bachelder of Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen as they describe how they used servant leadership principles in their organizations. Viewers also heard retired U.S. Army Brigadier General Jeff Foley describe how servant leadership principles guide mission and values in the military.

In section five, Exemplars of Servant Leadership, viewers watched four contributing authors sing the praises of others who have impacted their lives through examples of servant leadership in action. Rico Moranto, Guardian of the Culture at Waste Connections, shares an example about a colleague at work who modeled a serving heart focused on others. Richard Blackaby, President of Blackaby Ministries International talks about his father, Henry Blackaby, and the work he did turning around troubled churches. John Hope Bryant, founder & CEO of Operation HOPE, shares a story about his hero and mentor, Ambassador Andrew Young, and his relationship as a friend and colleague to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. And Marshall Goldsmith, best-selling author and the world’s leading executive coach, finishes with a wonderful story about former Girl Scout CEO Frances Hesselbein.

Throughout the broadcast, Ken Blanchard shares personal stories about the people described in the videos along with takeaways and action steps. It’s a wonderful, encouraging two-hour event that will help you explore servant leadership principles and how they can be applied to create an organization focused on both results and people.

The best news is that the two-hour event was recorded and is available to view for free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Use this Servant Leadership in Action Livecast link to access the recording.

Interested in attending an upcoming free live event on the topic of servant leadership? Join Ken Blanchard on April 3 for a one-hour webinar on Creating a Culture of Service. Blanchard will be sharing how to take a servant leadership mindset and turn it into a servant leadership skill set throughout your organization. You can register using this link.

PS: To learn more about the new book Servant Leadership in Action: How You Can Achieve Great Relationships and Results, visit Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. The book features chapters from all the thought leaders mentioned in this article and more than twenty others including Brene Brown, Dave Ramsey, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, and Simon Sinek, to name a few.

That’s a lot of people!

I think the event is popular because people recognize we are in desperate need of a new leadership model—one that recognizes that people lead best when they serve first.

(For more information about the Livecast, keep reading.)

We have all seen the negative impact of self-serving leader behaviors. So why does this type of leadership continue to be so prevalent in today’s organizations?

In my experience, self-focused leadership is always caused by an overactive ego—one that is driven by comparative feelings of being either more than or less than others. Once you fall into one of these traps, you spend your time trying to either prove how smart you are or win the favor and approval of others.

One of my favorite books on this topic is Egonomics by David Marcum and Steven Smith. They identify four warning signs of an overactive ego that could undermine an executive’s career.

Seeking acceptance: These leaders become overly concerned with what others think, which keeps them from being true to themselves. They tend to play it safe, swim with the current, and restate others’ ideas instead of coming up with their own.

Showcasing brilliance: These leaders go beyond sharing their thoughts—they want their intellect to be the center of attention. When showcasing is allowed or encouraged, the casualty is collective wisdom. Paradoxically, the more leaders show off their brilliance, the less likely people are to listen.

Being comparative: Instead of focusing on their own personal best, these leaders feel a need to compare themselves with others. Excessive comparison turns colleagues into competitors—and competitors are not effective collaborators. Comparing strengths to weaknesses leads to either excessive self-confidence or feelings of inadequacy.

Being defensive: Instead of defending an idea, these leaders behave as if they are defending themselves personally. They focus on proving their case and deflecting alternative points of view. These leaders resist feedback and brush off mistakes to the degree that conversations with them become superficial.

The goal is not to remove ego from the equation completely—it is to keep it in balance. Marcum and Smith recommend that leaders develop their humility, curiosity, and veracity. The objective is to achieve and maintain an intelligent self-respect and genuine confidence.

In his book Good to Great, Jim Collins identifies another way leaders can keep their ego in check: focus on something bigger than themselves. Collins suggests a special type of leader who builds enduring greatness through a combination of personal humility and professional will. He describes this type of leader as a Level 5. Of special note is the underlying principle Collins sets forward—leaders at all levels need to put organizational, department, and team goals ahead of their personal agenda.

Don’t let your ego get in the way of your good intentions. Practice humility and self-acceptance. When you are able to love and accept yourself with all of your imperfections, you can do the same for others. You’ll be surprised at how well people will respond when you get your ego out of the way. People already know you’re not perfect—it’s when you become vulnerable enough to admit it that the magic will happen in both your personal and professional relationships. As Colleen Barrett, former president of Southwest Airlines and servant leader extraordinaire, says, “People will admire your strengths, but they will respect your honesty regarding your vulnerability.”

PS: Interested in learning more about servant leadership? Join us for the Servant Leadership in Action Livecast on February 28. The event is free courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies. Twenty servant leadership experts—authors, CEOs, and thought leaders—will share how servant leadership concepts work in their organizations and how you can be a servant leader in your workplace. You can learn more here!

Basically, skill acquisition of the new and the better is expected by the sponsoring organization.

But what executive coaches have always known is what Ken Blanchard and Renee Broadwell zero in on in their new book, Servant Leadership in Action: leaders need support to look at what they need to eliminate from their behavior. This radical assessment is a critical first thing to address on the path to effective leadership.

In examining the impediments to true leadership, Blanchard states that the essential problem is the leader’s ego, and a preoccupation with how one is perceived. Specifically, he identifies the leadership-limiting implications for leaders as either over-promoting or over-protecting themselves.

Executive coaches resoundingly agree with you, Ken Blanchard!

Truly effective leaders are focused on the needs of those they are leading, which is what Ken calls servant leadership. Working with a coach can expand a leader’s focus from narrow and self-centered to include and, in fact, prioritize a focus on the needs of others. This requires a priority step in the coaching process of the leader’s honest assessment of the extent to which they are over-promoting or over-protecting themselves.

A great coach will “hold the mirror” for the leader, and ask them to honestly answer questions such as:

• What have you learned about yourself recently that was surprising?
• What other surprises could be waiting for you?
• What do you do when you hear something new about yourself that you do not like?
• What do you most fear people will discover about you?
• What do you most want people to know about you?
• What does it cost you when you behave in ways that you do not understand and cannot control?
• What is the significance of a leader in the life of an employee?
• If you were exactly the leader you wanted to be, what would be the difference between that image and who you are right now?

Coaching questions like this ask executives to consider the role of ego in their behaviors. With honest self-assessment, the leader can see where false pride or self-doubt have derailed their effectiveness.

With increased knowledge of self, the mirror can be replaced by a window and the gaze of the leader can confidently focus on the needs of others. Expanding skills and leveraging underused strengths is possible now, as the leader’s focus is off of their ego maintenance and on to meeting the needs of their followers and the organization.

Editor’s Note: Would you like to learn more about implementing a servant leadership mindset and skill set in your organization? Join Ken Blanchard for a free online Servant Leadership in Action Livecast on February 28!

Blanchard will host 20 authors, CEOs, and thought leaders from all walks of life as they discuss strategies and offer encouragement for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals interested in discovering more about servant leadership concepts.

The event is free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more here! 

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“The mindset is to recognize that there are two parts of servant leadership, says Blanchard. “There is the vision, direction, and goals—that’s the leadership part. Everybody needs to know where you’re going and what you’re trying to accomplish.

“The servant leadership skill set is turning that vision into action. Now you are looking at the day-today management behaviors people need from their leader to succeed.”

Blanchard shares some examples:

Developing Others: “Servant leaders are always preparing people to be their own boss by helping them own their job and be in charge. This means identifying a direct report’s development level and providing the direction and support they need to grow and develop.”

Delegating: “Servant leaders first make sure that people know what the goals are. Then they turn the organizational pyramid and the reporting relationships upside down. They ask questions like How can I help? and What can I do to make a difference to help you accomplish your goals?

Directing Others: “It’s not really about directing them,” says Blanchard. “It’s about helping them. Sometimes when people are new they need clear direction—it is a temporary leadership behavior to help someone take ownership of their job and get to where they want to go.”

Servant leadership is a journey, says Blanchard. It’s both a mindset and a skill set. Once you get it right on the inside you can begin to develop the skills related to goal setting and performance management. Blanchard points to two of his company’s flagship programs as examples of how servant leadership principles can be taught as a part of a larger leadership development curriculum.

“In many ways, servant leadership is the overarching theme that covers the concepts of two of our most popular programs: Situational Leadership® II and First-time Manager.

“For example, Situational Leadership® II has three skills that generate both great relationships and results: goal setting, diagnosis, and matching. Notice that the first skill is goal setting. All good performance starts with clear goals—which, for a manager, are clearly part of the leadership aspect of servant leadership.

“Once clear goals are set, an effective situational leader works with their direct report to diagnose the direct report’s development level—competence and commitment—on each specific goal. Then together they determine the appropriate leadership style—the amount of directive and supportive behavior—that will match the person’s development level on each goal. That way the manager can help them accomplish their goals—the servant aspect of servant leadership. The key here is for managers to remember they must use different strokes for different folks but also different strokes for the same folks, depending on the goal and the person’s development level.

“In our First-time Manager program we teach the concepts of One Minute Management. The First Secret of The One Minute Manager is setting One Minute Goals—which for a manager is part of the leadership aspect of servant leadership. Once employees are clear on goals, an effective One Minute Manager tries to catch people doing something right so that they can deliver a One Minute Praising—the Second Secret. If the person is doing something wrong or not performing as well as agreed upon, a One Minute Re-Direct is appropriate—the Third Secret. When effective One Minute Managers are praising or redirecting their employees, they are engaging in the servant aspect of servant leadership—working for their employees to help them win.

“Why are the concepts of Situational Leadership® II and The One Minute Manager so widely used around the world? I think it’s because they are clear examples of servant leadership in action. Both concepts recognize that vision and direction—the leadership aspect of servant leadership—are the responsibility of the traditional hierarchy. People need to be clear on their goals. Implementation—the servant aspect of servant leadership—is all about turning the hierarchy upside down and helping employees accomplish their agreed-upon goals.”

Mindset and Skill Set

“Saying you’re a servant leader is a good start, but it is your behavior that makes it real for people,” says Blanchard. “Servant leadership is a combination of mindset and skill set that focuses on serving others first so that organizations develop great relationships, achieve great results, and delight their customers.”

Would you like to learn more about implementing a servant leadership mindset and skill set in your organization? Join Ken Blanchard for a free online Servant Leadership in Action Livecast on February 28!

Blanchard will host 20 authors, CEOs, and thought leaders from all walks of life as they discuss strategies and offer encouragement for leadership, learning, and talent development professionals interested in discovering more about servant leadership concepts.

The event is free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more here!

David Marshall at Berrett-Koehler Publishers recently posted a Reading List for Servant Leaders. It’s a great mix of titles beginning with Robert Greenleaf’s The Servant as Leader (the book that started the modern servant leadership movement) and then continues with books by authors, CEOs, and thought leaders from all walks of life explaining how to use servant leadership concepts in today’s work environment.

Here’s the complete list:

1. The Servant as Leader by Robert K. Greenleaf
2. Servant Leadership by Robert K. Greenleaf
3. The Journey to the East by Hermann Hesse
4. The Secret by Ken Blanchard and Mark Miller
5. Dare to Serve by Cheryl Bachelder
6. The Leadership Challenge by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
7. The Serving Leader by Kenneth R. Jennings and John Stahl-Wert
8. Multipliers by Liz Wiseman
9. The Servant Leader by James A. Autry
10. Give and Take by Adam Grant

I’d like to add two more books to this list that I’ve found to be helpful.  Number 11 will help aspiring leaders get it right on the inside by examining beliefs and behaviors that might be getting in their way.  Number 12 will help people get it right on the outside by sharing practical strategies leaders can use in their day-to-day management practices.

11. Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith

Marshall Goldsmith is the #1 executive coach in the world and his client list reads like a Who’s Who of the Fortune 500.  In this book, Goldsmith shares six engaging questions he uses with his clients. The questions provide a daily touchpoint to keep leaders on track with their intentions.

12. Helping People Win at Work: A Business Philosophy Called “Don’t Mark My Paper, Help Me Get an A” by Ken Blanchard and Garry Ridge

Ken Blanchard is the best-selling business author of 21 million books and Garry Ridge is the CEO of WD-40 Company.  In this book, Blanchard and Ridge teach leaders how to focus less on performance review (akin to grading people’s papers) and spend more time on providing the direction and support they need to succeed (helping people get an “A”.)

Those are my suggestions. How about yours?  What books would you add to a recommended reading list for aspiring servant leaders?  Use the comments section to add your recommendations.

PS: Interested in learning more about servant leadership and how an others-focused approach could work in your organization?  Join Ken Blanchard and 20 other authors, CEOs, and thought leaders for a complimentary online conference February 28. The Servant Leadership in Action Livecast is free and open to leadership, learning, and talent development professionals wanting to explore servant leadership and how it is used in today’s organizations. The event is free courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Learn more here!

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a large team in Silicon Valley. My peers and I recently went through a 360 degree feedback process and I received a big report with everyone’s opinion about how I can be more effective. The feedback was fine; nothing too negative.

Here’s my problem.

I know I need to work on some areas, but I am completely overwhelmed by this report. How do I choose what to focus on? We have internal coaches in the company, but it takes weeks to get an appointment. And how will they even know how to help me? Right now I am just kind of stuck.

What do you think?

Stuck

Dear Stuck,

Those reports are indeed overwhelming. Many organizations provide 360 recipients with a coach to help process and debrief the reports and build an action plan for exactly this reason. You didn’t mention which assessment was used so I can’t give you detailed instructions, but I do have a few ideas.

Does your report provide you with any information on how to read and interpret the results? Some competencies are more critical than others for your particular job role, and the report should point those out to you. You might have to read through the report a couple of times and get used to how the data is laid out. Here are some key places to look:

• Blind spots: The areas where you rate yourself higher than everyone else may indicate a blind spot where you may think you are more effective than anyone else does. The bigger the difference in how you see yourself and how others see you, the more attention you may want to pay to narrowing the gap.
• Hidden strengths: Similarly, the areas where you rate yourself lower than all of the other raters may indicate hidden strengths. These are areas where you are doing well and aren’t that aware of it. Hidden strengths are good to understand—these are areas to lean on and possibly build on for your future career.
• Trust your gut: I would submit to you that before you did the 360, you already knew where you might need to focus to be more effective. Most of us know what we need help with and are hoping nobody notices, and a 360 feedback report will confirm what we probably already knew.
• Low hanging fruit: Perhaps there is one area you could work on immediately that wouldn’t be that difficult. The one thing I know for sure is that no one succeeds at giving themselves a personality transplant no matter how hard they might try, so I suggest you choose something to work on that you can actually do. To figure out what that might be, make a short list of things you know you should be doing or you should stop doing and then choose one of those things you can commit to. Maybe it is as simple as stop interrupting people, or more complicated like spend 15 minutes of dedicated time per week with each direct report.
• Ask your boss: Put a short list of all the different things you could work on and ask your boss which of those things he or she thinks is most important.

As you read through your report again—slowly, while breathing—one or two things will present themselves as possibilities to you. If you stay calm you will notice them. Don’t choose more than three things to work on; that’s about the limit of what you will be able to do. Ultimately, no matter how much help you get, you will have to be the one who decides where to put your focus and energy.

Finally, don’t worry too much about it. Take what you can from the experience and leave the rest. A person can only do so much.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

When leaders allow their ego to go unchecked it can erode their effectiveness, says Ken Blanchard, co-editor of the new book, Servant Leadership in Action. “When that happens, leaders see themselves as the center of the universe and they put their own agenda, safety, status, and gratification ahead of people who are affected by their thoughts and actions.

Blanchard explains that when a leader’s sense of self-worth is tied up in their achievements and the perceptions of others, “their self-worth is up for grabs on a daily basis.”

“It becomes increasingly difficult for a leader with this mindset to maintain a healthy and centered self-determined image. Since their performance varies from day to day, they shift back and forth between feelings of fear and false pride.

“Leaders dominated by false pride are often seen as controlling. Even when they don’t know what they are doing, they have a high need for power and control. They tend to insist they are right even when it’s clear to everyone else they are wrong.

“Fear-driven leaders are often characterized as do-nothing bosses. Their people say they are seldom around, always avoiding conflict and not very helpful. Their fear of making a mistake and feelings of inadequacy keep them from taking action when they should.”

Practice Shining a Light on Others

For better ego balance, Blanchard recommends keeping things in perspective and looking for opportunities to catch people doing things right.

“The best leaders know it’s not about you—it’s about the people you serve. You finally become an adult when you realize that life is about what you give rather than what you get. Don’t let an overactive ego keep you from being your best self or bringing out the best in others.”

PS: You can learn more from Blanchard and 20 other authors, CEOs, and thought leaders who have contributed to the Servant Leadership in Action book at a free online webcast on February 28.  Blanchard is hosting the event to help spread the word about an others-focused approach to leadership.

Register for this event at the Servant Leadership in Action Livecast registration page.  The event is free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

What exactly does it take to achieve mastery?

It begins with clarity. Identifying the needed behaviors and actions to move toward mastery.

Be intentional and focused. It takes concentrated brain power to go against your natural tendencies due to deep pathways created in the brain. You must be focused in your actions.

Take risks. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable as you move toward mastery. Be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone to experience new behaviors, actions, and interactions.

Embrace change. Keep your eye on the prize. In Situational Leadership^® II we teach that being new to a task or goal requires extra time and effort; but as you progress and gain mastery, it becomes easier and easier as new natural tendencies are formed.

Learn from setbacks. Recognize that you will experience setbacks and what even feels like failure at times. The key is to learn from these challenges and to see them as learning opportunities that lead to mastery.

Be open to learn. An open mind sparks the creation of new pathways in the brain. Be open to making changes when needed based on experiences. Mastery is a journey!

I’ve made a commitment to myself for 2018 to do what it takes to achieve mastery in public speaking. I am confident speaking one on one, but I want to also be confident in front of a group. I have already committed to several speaking opportunities this year. Yes, I am nervous, anxious, and excited. But I want to achieve mastery for professional growth.

Repetition is the key. It will take time and dedication to achieve mastery. It will be uncomfortable. But I believe in myself!

Join me and shake it up to achieve mastery!

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

“It begins by asking yourself a tough question: ‘Am I here to serve or be served?’” he says. According to Blanchard, the answer to this question will reveal your fundamental approach to leadership.

“If you believe leadership is all about you, where you want to go, and what you want to attain, then your leadership by default will be more self-focused and self-centered. On the other hand, if your leadership revolves around meeting the needs of the organization and the people working for it, you will make different choices that will reveal a more others-focused approach.”

Blanchard believes the best leaders have a servant leadership philosophy. He explains that servant leadership requires a two-pronged approach that combines strategic leadership—vision and direction—with operational leadership—strong day-to-day management practices.

“At its core, servant leadership means that once vision and direction are set, the organizational pyramid is turned upside-down and leaders work for their people.”

There are two huge challenges to being a successful servant leader, according to Blanchard.

“One is false pride—when you think more of yourself than you should. When this occurs, leaders spend most of their time looking for ways to promote themselves. The other is fear and self-doubt—when you think less of yourself than you should. These leaders spend their time constantly trying to protect themselves.”

Surprisingly, the root cause of both behaviors is the same, explains Blanchard: “The ego. It’s just part of the human condition. Any time I hear someone say that their ego has never gotten in their way, that they are never prideful and never experience self-doubt, I usually say, half-jokingly, ‘I’ll bet you lie about other things, too.’ We all have times when we get off track.”

To help executives identify ways that ego may impact their leadership, Blanchard often incorporates an “Egos Anonymous” exercise into some of his work with clients.

“The Egos Anonymous session begins with each person standing up and saying, ‘Hi, I’m Ken, and I’m an egomaniac. The last time my ego got in the way was …’ And then they share a false pride or self-doubt moment or example.”

Egos Anonymous sessions have become so popular with executives that some use the technique to kick off meetings back at their workplace.

“They find it really helps their teams operate more freely,” says Blanchard. “It’s very powerful when people can share their vulnerability and be more authentic and transparent with one another.”

For leaders looking to get started with an inside-out approach to addressing and improving their leadership abilities, Blanchard has one final question: “What are you doing on a daily basis to recalibrate who you want to be in the world?

“Most people don’t think about that. This could include how you enter your day, what you read, what you study—everything that contributes in a positive sense to who you are.

“Consider your daily habits and their impact on your life. Take time to explore who you are, who you want to be, and what steps you can take on a daily basis to get closer to becoming your best self. Your leadership journey begins on the inside—but, ultimately, it will have a tremendous impact on the people around you.”

PS: Would you like to learn more about servant leadership principles and how to apply them in your organization?  Join Ken Blanchard for a free online event February 28.  The Servant Leadership in Action Livecast will feature more than 20 thought leaders and business executives sharing how they have successfully implemented servant leadership principles in their organizations.  The event is free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Learn more here!

That surprises some people who might expect him to point to his company’s flagship leadership program, Situational Leadership® II, or his best-selling business book, The One Minute Manager®.

Blanchard explains he is proud of the concepts within those products and how they have been widely accepted around the world. But over the last decade, he’s realized that the reason the concepts are well recognized is that they are examples of servant leadership in action—which he believes is the only way to achieve great relationships and great results.

“The world is in desperate need of a new leadership model,” explains Blanchard. “Too many leaders have been conditioned to think of leadership only in terms of power and control. But there is a better way to lead—one that combines equal parts serving and leading.”

In a new book, Servant Leadership in Action, coming out in March, Blanchard has invited more than 40 leaders from diverse backgrounds and industries to share their experiences with servant leadership. Here are a few of their stories.

Southwest Airlines

Colleen Barrett, president emeritus, Southwest Airlines, explains how servant leadership has been a key principle of success since the airline’s founding.

“For more than 40 years all of the leaders at Southwest Airlines have tried to model servant leadership. Herb Kelleher, our founder, led the way clearly—although I don’t think he knew what the expression servant leadership meant until we told him. Herb and I have always said that our purpose in life as senior leaders with Southwest Airlines was to support our people. At Southwest, our entire philosophy of leadership is still quite simple: treat your people right and good things will happen.

“We try in every way to let our employees know they are important and empowered to make a positive difference on a daily basis. Servant leadership isn’t soft management—it’s simply the right thing to do.”

That level of support manifests itself in many different ways at Southwest.  Barrett tells a heartwarming story of servant leadership in action that happened at Southwest a few years ago when a grandfather had to make last-minute reservations to be with a dying grandchild.

“The man was away from home in an unfamiliar city when he learned his grandson was dying and had only a couple of hours to live. The grandfather was desperately trying to get to him.

“Without any managerial intervention, our reservation agent directed the grandfather to head to the airport while she started working to clear obstacles from her end,” Barrett said. “She called the ground ops station at the airport, got hold of a ticket agent, and explained what the situation was. The ticket agent bought the grandfather a ticket with her own money, then went to the TSA checkpoint and told them she would be escorting a passenger who needed to make a flight. She then contacted the gate and explained the situation. The gate attendant, in turn, notified the captain on the flight.

“When it was time to push back, the pilot asked the ticket agent how close the grandfather was to arriving and learned the man was still about ten minutes away. The captain thought about it for a moment, then walked out of the cockpit to the front of the airplane and explained the situation to the passengers. He said, ‘We are going to wait for this gentleman. I think it’s the right thing to do.’ After listening to the captain’s explanation for the delay, the passengers broke into applause. When the grandfather arrived ten minutes later, he couldn’t believe the captain had held the plane for him. The captain’s response was, ‘Sir, this airplane wasn’t going anyplace without me—and I wasn’t going anyplace without you.’”

Synovus Financial

James Blanchard (no relation to Ken Blanchard) is the former CEO of Synovus Financial—a company whose servant leadership culture goes all the way back to 1888 when the founders of Columbus Bank and Trust Company were in the cotton mill business.

One day when a woman was working on a loom in the mill, her skirt got caught on the machine. The hem ripped and her life savings came spilling out on the floor. The hem of her skirt was the safest place she knew to keep her money. That day, the founders decided they could do better for their employees—so they started a bank that would serve as a trusted place for their workers’ life savings. The Synovus culture of service began the moment that woman’s savings spilled onto the floor.

“Over the years our name changed and we grew,” says Blanchard, “but our servant leadership culture endured and became even stronger. A few criticized us, saying the approach was too soft and permissive. So we had to prove it was the exact opposite—that people who were loved, respected, and prepared would perform better. Servant leadership led to higher performance and there was nothing permissive about it. We loved our people and we expected high performance. I believe when you truly care about someone, you not only love them but also expect the best from them and hold them to it.”

That approach has paid off for Synovus. In 1999, the company was named Fortune’s No. 1 Best Place to Work in America. They were on the list so often, in fact, the magazine asked them to stop entering and made them the first inductee into the Best Places to Work Hall of Fame.

“It was a great validation of our aspirations and our actions,” says CEO Blanchard. “I have been retired from Synovus for years but the pursuit of a servant leadership culture at Synovus was my greatest and most favorite satisfaction.”

Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen

When Cheryl Bachelder accepted the role of Popeyes CEO in November 2007, the company had been struggling.  Relationships with franchisees were not at the level they needed to be. Even so, a comment from a veteran franchisee caught her by surprise: “Don’t expect us to trust you anytime soon.”

Bachelder and her team decided to focus on servant leadership principles for turning around business performance.

“We began calling the franchisees our ‘number one customer.’ More important, as servant leaders, we began treating them that way. Our first principle was to respect and admire our owners’ passion for their work. Next, we listened to their needs and we accepted our roles and responsibilities in making things right. Finally, we put our owners’ interests above our own.”

The approach was a huge success. Relationships and business outcomes flourished. During the period from 2007 to 2016, under Bachelder’s leadership, Popeyes became a prosperous enterprise again. Franchise owners were served well: 95 percent rated their satisfaction with the Popeyes system at good or very good and 90 percent said they would recommend Popeyes to another franchisee.

“When we started, we didn’t know servant leadership would drive our success. We didn’t have a plaque in the office that stated our purpose and principles. What we did have was a team of leaders who were willing to put the success of the people and the enterprise before their own interests.”

The Power of Love, Not the Love of Power

A few years ago, Ken Blanchard received a letter from a man in New Zealand with a line that he believes sums up his leadership philosophy. The man said, “Ken, you are in the business of teaching people the power of love rather than the love of power.”

Servant leaders are constantly trying to find out what their people need to perform well and to live according to their organization’s vision. Rather than wanting employees to please their bosses, servant leaders want to make a difference in their employees’ lives and in their organizations. In top organizations, leaders believe if they do a good job serving their employees and show they truly care about them, the employees will, in turn, practice that same philosophy with customers.

Blanchard says, “We need servant leadership advocates and I nominate you. Go forth and spread the word to everyone who will listen. And remember: your job is to teach people the power of love rather than the love of power. After all, servant leadership is love in action.”

Would you like to learn more about servant leadership principles and how to apply them in your own organization?  Then join us for a free livecast on February 28!

Servant Leadership in Action Livecast

February 28, 2018 from 9:00 to 11:00 a.m. Pacific Time

Join best-selling business author Ken Blanchard and 20 other successful leaders for an in-depth look into the concept of servant leadership and how it can transform the culture and performance of your organization.  You’ll explore:

• What is servant leadership?
• How does it work in today’s organizations?
• The role leaders play
• How to get started
• How to keep it growing

You’ll hear personal and powerful stories from 20 of today’s most inspiring servant leaders. You’ll be motivated to act after seeing how others have achieved great relationships and results in their organizations through servant leadership.

Attend this online event to:

• Gain a clear understanding of this proven leadership model
• Learn the fundamentals of servant leadership
• Discover how other companies have achieved results
• Acquire ideas of how servant leadership could look in your organization

People lead best when they serve first.  Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how servant leadership principles can take your organization’s performance to the next level.

The event is free courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies. To learn more, visit the Servant Leadership in Action Livecast registration page.

Here are some commonly overused leadership habits and alternatives we might put in their place.

Giving Advice.  I love Benjamin Franklin’s quote about giving advice: “Wise men don’t need advice.  Fools won’t take it.”  Instead of jumping to give advice, consider asking questions to draw out the brilliance of the other person. Facilitate them finding their own answers.  It will require some practice with open-ended questioning and real listening, but doing this keeps the other person front and center in discovering their own wisdom.

Problem Solving.  Instead of sharing your own “winning ways,” consider empowering the other person to find their own answers.  In coaching we call this letting the other person do the heavy lifting.  What’s amazing is that when someone does their own heavy lifting, they are usually much more invested in the actions and outcomes.  No, you didn’t get to provide solutions, but you also didn’t add anything to your own to-do list—which can often happen if you are the problem solver.

Being the Devil’s Advocate.  I used to work for a manager who always played the devil’s advocate.  I knew he did it in an attempt to bring out our best on projects we were working on—but, boy oh boy, was it draining.  Instead, consider Ken Blanchard’s advice and spend your time catching people doing things right. I know when someone catches me doing something right, it feels so good I start thinking about what else I could do to keep that feeling going. And as a friend of mine said, who wants to work for the devil’s advocate, anyway?

Giving advice, problem solving, and helping people consider alternatives all have their place in a manager’s toolkit—just don’t overdo it. Replacing our old tried-and-true ways is never easy.  But if we are willing to consider change, to behave more intentionally, and to be patient with ourselves while we practice, we can empower others like nobody’s business.  They will be grateful and really appreciate to us for what we are often not doing.  And who wouldn’t like to do less and get—and give—more?

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

New Hire Is Dressing Inappropriately? A manager writes, “Her taste in work clothing is wildly inappropriate. She dressed perfectly for the interview phase, but now the heels are sky high, the skirts are too short and tight, and the necklines are way too low. People’s eyes literally go wide when she walks by.”

Burned Out But Don’t Know Why? A reader writes, “I really like the challenge of being a manager—but something has begun to worry me. I start at 7 a.m. and by 2 p.m. I am exhausted, even though I work from home most days. I’m on the phone in endless meetings dealing with strategy, budget, and gnarly personnel issues—and by the middle of the afternoon I’ve got nothing left.”

Direct Report Won’t Stop Talking During One on Ones?  A manager writes, “I have one direct report who is very good at her job—but during her one on one meetings with me, she literally never stops talking. I can’t get a word in edgewise. It is a one-hour wall of words. In fact, she often can’t stop so the meeting goes late. Worst of all, she doesn’t seem to leave these meetings the better for having had them.”

Mindless Work Killing Your Soul? A reader writes, “I hate my job. I am just bored to tears. When I completed graduate school, I was recruited into what I thought was the perfect job for me—the job description was exactly what I was looking for. A year later, I am doing a ton of mindless administrative work and almost none of what was in the original job description.”

People Think You’re Having an Affair at Work? A manager writes, “About a year ago we got a new boss.  He is a few years older than me and very smart and creative. We had an immediate connection because we went to the same school for undergraduate and are both huge fans of our school’s sports teams.  We became instant BFFs. The problem is that everybody thinks we are having an affair.”

ABOUT MADELEINE

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a Master Certified Coach and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. She is coauthor of Blanchard’s Coaching Essentials training program, and several books including Leverage Your Best, Ditch the Rest, Coaching in Organizations, and Coaching for Leadership.

Do you have a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Here are the three biggest challenges L&D professionals face—along with some resources to successfully address each challenge.

Adding Credible Numbers to Your Proposal. The first challenge is how to quantify the bottom-line impact of improved leadership behaviors. There are three areas to focus on, says Paul Leone, author of Measuring and Maximizing Training Impact. “Key in on performance indicators that produce revenue, cut costs, or avoid future costs.”

When measuring programs designed to increase the effectiveness of leaders, Leone reminds practitioners to focus on improvements made by the direct reports of the leader in question.

“A leader’s productivity is really an accumulation of their direct reports’ productivity. I measure the impact of leadership training performance by looking at increases in direct reports’ performance and productivity.”

Leone shares more in his interview and webinar on Measuring the Impact of Training.

Convincing Others. Once you have your numbers together, you need to practice your financial presentation skills. “It shouldn’t be an adversarial meeting,” says Craig Spitz, chief financial officer at The Ken Blanchard Companies. “It’s about connecting the dots. Anytime learning and development professionals come prepared with models, numbers, and rationale that help make the case for training, they make the CFO’s job easier. If a training professional can show the impact of training, everyone is going to be interested in that.”

Spitz shares more in his interview and webinar on Presenting Your Training Initiative to the CFO.

Getting Out of Your Own Way. Finally, it’s important to recognize that there is a certain amount of guesswork when making assumptions about the impact of training. L&D professionals are often their own toughest critics, says Leone.  “Maybe it’s because we come from the social sciences or a more academic background. Maybe we tend to be harder on ourselves or hold ourselves to a higher standard—almost as if we think we need to write a thesis or a dissertation. That’s not the case. We just need to show value.”

But as CFO Spitz reminds L&D professionals, “Even the most thorough proposals are based on assumptions. Present your proposals confidently.”

Are you getting ready to submit a leadership training proposal? Don’t let these three challenges hold you back. For more on calculating impact, refining your presentation, and making the business case, check out these free resources available at the Blanchard website.

Blog Posts

Measuring the Impact of Training

Presenting Your Training Initiative to the CFO

Getting Buy-in for Leadership Development Training

Webinar Recordings

Making the Business Case for Training: Talking to a CFO

Leadership Training: Calculating ROI and Measuring Impact

Making the Business Case for Leadership Training

• We know our coaches—their strengths, their style, and who fits the profile for their ideal client.
• We consider geography as one of many factors, but not necessarily the first factor.
• We explore the needs of the client. What do they want to achieve? Who do they like to work with? The more we know about the client, the better we can match them to a coach.
• We explore the needs of the client’s organization. What does the boss think? What are desired outcomes? How will the organization know that outcomes have been achieved?
• We ask the client to put some skin in the game, often in the form of a chemistry call with one or more prospective coaches.

And we rematch if we get it wrong.

We want the client to have the right coach. Relationship and rapport are of the utmost importance in coaching—and not every coach fits every client. Although it rarely happens, in the seventeen years we’ve been doing coaching there have been times we’ve had to rematch a client with a different coach. Here are some examples of what happened and what we learned.

• A coach missed her first session with the client. It was a simple time zone issue, but the coach just couldn’t recover trust. We swapped to a new coach and the client is now deeply engaged in his own development. He appreciated the quick response and the high touch recovery.
• A coach worked with a client for several sessions but wasn’t seeing the high impact we expect. He talked to his Coaching Solutions Partner (head coach) and we then reached out to the client. We explained that we wanted the client to have a phenomenal experience. The client agreed to try a new coach. His feedback was that it was the “best decision ever.”
• A coach made an error during a second coaching session, confusing one client with another. The client in the coaching session felt marginalized and asked for a new coach. We learned that feedback from a client is a powerful learning and development opportunity for our coaches. The coach in question now has a better system in place for herself: she consistently takes a break between coaching sessions to allow herself to properly prepare.

3 Signs a Rematch Might Be Necessary

Our experience as a business-to-business organization with more than 143 coaches worldwide has given us good insight into some of the early warning signs that the client and coach match isn’t what it should be.  These signs should be monitored as part of any internal organizational coaching you might be managing. If you are a human resources business partner tasked with managing the coaching of others in your organization, here are three signs to look for:

1. Clients are rescheduling frequently.
2. Clients are not looking forward to their scheduled coaching sessions.
3. Learning is not occurring.

If you see any of these signs, what do you do?  A frank conversation with the client is a great place to start. Have a backup plan in place—and another coach who can step in as a better fit.

Ultimately, trust and rapport are key elements to a great match. Our goal is to serve clients in achieving their desired outcomes.  If that’s not happening, we won’t hesitate to suggest a better fit.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Some might say, “This is where coaching comes in!”  Wrong.

This is, however, a scenario in which organizational sponsors—a person’s leader and an HR partner—may call on a coach as a last-ditch effort to fix someone they see as a problem employee.  How unfortunate for coaching to be framed as some kind of desperate measure!  The employee hasn’t been trained well, hasn’t been clearly communicated with, likely knows they are failing, and probably feels anxious.

The purpose of coaching is not to “fix” people. People don’t want to be fixed. Even attempting such a thing would be a misuse of coaching. The value of coaching is it accelerates the achievements of capable people through partnership with a professional coach.

So, what should a coach do in the scenario above? Tell the truth. Have a compassionate truth-telling session with the organizational sponsors before the individual in question is even involved.

• In considering the opportunity, a skilled coach needs to make sure the sponsors have given the person crystal-clear feedback on what is not working, behavioral examples of what a change would look like, and some clear consequences if the employee fails to change.
• The sponsors need to know that they may not ask a coach to tell the person being coached something that person has never heard before.
• Even if the person being coached does make significant changes, people around them may not see or acknowledge the changes. It is difficult to change stakeholders’ impressions, even in the face of direct evidence.
• There is always the possibility that the employee is in the wrong job or the wrong organization. Some people realize through coaching that they need a different environment in order to be successful. The sponsors should know that one of the results of coaching may be the employee choosing to leave the organization. Conversely, if it is determined thorough coaching that the employee simply is not capable of making the necessary changes, they may need to be let go.

A capable professional coach will courageously address all these points with the organizational sponsors and ask them to honestly consider the viability of coaching success at this point. If sponsors and coach agree to proceed, all stakeholders must work together up front to identify and agree to clear and measurable outcomes (i.e., success measures), which the sponsors would share with the employee prior to the launch of coaching.

Finally, for all concerned, there should be a check-in meeting between the coach and the organizational sponsors 45 days into the coaching. At this meeting, the coach would offer to stop the coaching if they feel the employee is not willing, ready, or able to make the required changes.

Unfortunately, turnaround coaching is often proposed too late for an employee’s success. However, with true partnership between the coach and organizational sponsors in creating clarity, the coach can provide exceptional service and value to both the organization and the employee receiving coaching.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Most of the people who are to chosen to receive coaching are excited about the prospect and immediately enthusiastic; however, some are not. These folks either miss the initial email from their L&D business partners, or they read the email and don’t really understand it, or they do understand it but aren’t really signed up for what feels like yet another thing to do. Sometimes they have had a bad coaching experience in the past.

When clients aren’t prepared to meet a coach at least halfway, it can lead to problems. This type of coaching client often doesn’t show up for their coaching sessions—or, even worse, they do show up but they “yes” the coach. This essentially means that the client shows up for their session but doesn’t really pay attention or commit; they just say enough of the right things to slide by. Most coaches know when they are being “yessed,” but it is amazing how good some people are at this. In the worst cases, the client goes along and then claims the coaching was a waste of time and their coach was terrible. The financial, emotional, and lost-time cost of this kind of coaching situation is painful and embarrassing for all concerned—so we work very hard to avoid it.

It is critical for the professionals in charge of the coaching initiative to put some effort into what we think of as internal marketing. This includes:

• An Invitation. Nobody likes to be told that they are getting a coach, even if they actually want one. An invitation respects the individual’s autonomy, which is critical to motivation. This is beautifully explained by my colleague Susan Fowler in her book Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work…And What Does.
• An Explanation. Coaching is expensive. It’s important for candidates to understand why they are being offered coaching right now, what the organization expects them to get out of it, and how they can expect to benefit professionally and personally.
• An Opportunity to Opt Out. Candidates need to be given the option to decline coaching as well as clear direction and support for how to make the decision. There should never be a sense that any coaching candidate will be judged or penalized if they decide to forgo coaching for now.

Ultimately, a client must be ready, willing, and able to work with a coach for the exercise to be fruitful.

To help L&D professionals support coaching candidates in making the best choice for themselves, we developed a series of questions potential clients can ask themselves. There is no hard and fast rule about how many of these questions a potential coaching client needs to say yes to. The purpose is to shine a light on the client’s present mindset and circumstances.

Is coaching right for the candidate? Have them consider these questions:

1. Am I planning to stay in my role and/or grow with the organization for at least the next six months?
2. Am I currently feeling successful in my role and organization?
3. Am I on an even keel from a performance standpoint—having some challenges, perhaps, but no serious problems?
4. Am I eager to obtain, consider, and be influenced by feedback?
5. Am I familiar with or open to learning what coaching is all about?
6. Am I open to new perspectives?
7. Am I ready to accept input?
8. Am I able to devote time—at least three hours a month—to coaching sessions or commitments made in coaching sessions?
9. Am I willing to be challenged?
10. Am I confident enough to disagree with my coach?
11. Am I confident enough to give my coach feedback if I don’t think the coaching feels useful?
12. Am I capable of introspection?
13. Am I eager to grow and change?
14. Am I currently free from severe personal problems that require extra brain space? (This may include addiction recovery, deep grief due to recent loss, difficult relationship issues with significant other, child or parent that requires close attention/therapy/counseling, contentious divorce/custody/legal issues.)
15. Do I believe coaching is the best use of my time, focus, and efforts right now?

Allowing individual clients to think ahead and choose for themselves will increase the likelihood that every coaching engagement will result in a success story. Consider how you can help your coaching candidates be better prepared to get the most out of what coaching has to offer.

About the Author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

How quaint!

When it comes to interacting with others in today’s digital age, the telephone may seem like a relic from the past.  You may think coaching over the phone would be a poor substitute compared to face-to-face interaction.

But the truth is, phone coaching is awesome! Here’s why:

• You will be listened to—really listened to. When was the last time that happened?
• No travel, no fuss. You just call your coach as planned.  Close the door, walk a trail, or sit in your car.  Select a setting in which you can speak freely, and you and your coach will co-create an environment with words that will bring out your best.  The coaching conversation becomes your private oasis of professional development—and shoes are optional.
• On the phone, you have to use your words. This is powerful.  You’ll be forced to say what you mean.  Using only a telephone, you can’t posture, your coach can’t try to read your nonverbals, and you can’t mirror one another.  Instead, the power of words will be accentuated and underscored.
• You’ll experience the power of silence. A great coach doesn’t yammer in an attempt to offer options for what you might want to say. A great coach will wait for you to find the words.  You’re worth it.
• Your telephone coaching conversation is yours. It is all on you, all about you, and driven by you.  It is your time, your way.  Your coach will tell you what they’re hearing and what they’re not hearing: verbal feedback.  Again, when was the last time you got that on a consistent basis?
• Finally, with telephone coaching, someone will be hanging on your every word.

At Blanchard Coaching, we’ve been using the phone with more than 15,000 clients over the past 15 years for one key reason: phone coaching works!

Let us know if we can share more.  We’d love to talk about it!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Getting Buy-In for Leadership Development Training

One of the biggest challenges leadership, learning, and talent development professionals face when they propose a new initiative is convincing their CEO of the financial impact of the proposed initiative. Without a clear sense of the positive financial impact, it’s easy for a leader to dismiss a new proposal as being too disruptive, too expensive, or too time consuming.

An analysis of more than 200 organizations by The Ken Blanchard Companies found that every year of delay in improving leadership skills costs the typical organization an amount equal to 7 percent of their total annual sales.

Leading the Duke Energy Way

A senior leader at Duke Energy approached Stephanie Bush, director of learning and development, with a request for building leadership skills in his division. Already familiar with Situational Leadership® II (SLII®), Stephanie decided to pilot the program with this leader’s management group to see if it met their needs.

“I knew our leaders wanted to be able to have impactful coaching conversations with their team members. They needed to be able to set goals, hold people accountable, and provide a leadership style to match their employees’ needs. That is exactly what SLII provides.”

The feedback from the pilot sessions was so positive that SLII was added to the curriculum for the Duke Energy Leadership Academy which was created to support “Leading the Duke Energy Way” by aligning to the business strategy and leadership imperatives.

Podcast: Michael Bungay Stanier on The Coaching Habit

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever shares how time pressed managers can effectively coach direct reports by asking instead of telling, being a little more curious, and engaging a little more often.

Developing Self Leaders—A Competitive Advantage for Organizations

The nature of leadership continues to evolve as organizational structures and business models change. A new Blanchard white paper looks at how top-heavy leadership approaches are shifting and in their place, individual contributors are being asked to step up in new ways, take on more responsibility, contribute differently, and look for ways to empower themselves—essentially to become self leaders.

You can check out the entire August issue here. Want Ignite delivered to your InBox each month?  You can subscribe for free using this link.

What good is building character only to have it erode due to a lack of maintenance?  Coaching enables people to gain clarity about who they are, what they are doing, why they are doing it, and where they want to go.

In a recent coaching call, a client described a situation where during weekly staff meetings, a leader had been allowing one of her team members to speak negatively about people in another department.  The leader saw team meetings as a place to vent—but over the weeks they had begun to morph into weekly gossip fests.

My client was concerned about the situation. I listened and probed to help illuminate the source of her concern.  Affording her the time and space to discuss the topic moved the issue from being someone else’s problem to solve to being an opportunity to assess her own character and maintain it.

A coach will challenge clients to conduct themselves according to who and what they say they are. The coach does this by listening, asking focused questions, reflecting, challenging, and acknowledging the client.

The business case for coaching is that it supports the development of self leadership—but coaching accomplishes much more than that.  I’d say the personal case for coaching is that it is “customized maintenance for a leader’s character.”

What have you noticed in others that could be a good reminder to you?  What’s your maintenance plan for the leaders in your organization? Consider how a coach could help!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Here are the top three (with Madeleine’s advice) in ascending order.

Click the title or picture to see the complete question and response.

#3 Don’t Really Like People? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “You made me laugh out loud with your concern. People are tough; there is no question. However, you can’t be in business without them—so you are going to have to extend yourself just a touch….”

#2 Afraid You Might Be a Wimp as a Manager?  Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “Here’s the thing. You have trained your people to think they can get away with making a commitment and not following through. The result is, when you give out work assignments, your team members know there isn’t much of a consequence for shoddy planning, so they plan shoddily. This needs to be corrected or you will just keep repeating the same pattern….”

#1 Co-Worker Won’t Shut Up?  Ask Madeleine

Madeleine’s advice: “Generally, people who are that oblivious to social cues are in the grip of some huge need that they are not able to get met. You are the one who’s going to have to either do something or risk losing the respect of your team. It stinks. I think you need to go at it head on—don’t soft-pedal or pull any punches….”

About Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

There are always recommendations for best summer reading and the lists usually point to fiction best-sellers. 

Any suggestions for top business books? 

I love a good novel but I also want to keep developing my skills.

Business Minded

Dear Business Minded,

There are so many great development focused books out there. I wrote a series of four blog posts earlier this year identifying some of the best in four categories. Take a look at the links below.  I know you’ll find a title that will pique your interest and keep you growing!

9 Books About Coaching, Chosen by Coaches

I asked a select group of coaches their picks for the best books about coaching.

12 Books NOT About Coaching, Chosen by Coaches

I went out to my network again and asked people what books—not about coaching—have made the biggest difference for them as a coach.

8 Top Leadership Books, Chosen by Madeleine

My son was an intern at The Ken Blanchard Companies last summer when he asked me “What do you think is the best book on leadership?” Here’s the list that came out of that question.

7 Best Books on Neuroscience, Chosen by Madeleine

Neuroscience has entered the coaching and leadership development conversation in a big way. This is a short list of books that will help you get up to speed.

I think these great reads should get you through the summer! Please let me know your favorites!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Maybe it is the CEO of your company, the principal of your local high school, or the president of your alma mater.

If I asked you about the specific qualities that made them successful, you’d probably tell me about their hard skills—teachable abilities such as vision and strategic thinking.

But I’ll bet you’d also tell me about their soft skills—interpersonal abilities such as listening, collaborating, and endorsing others.

Yes, the hard skills matter, but in my experience it is soft skills that make a leader memorable—more than their title, degree, acquisitions, or accomplishments. Let me give you an example.

Twenty five years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, I attended a presentation by the famous Boston Children’s Hospital pediatrician Dr. T. Berry Brazelton. After delivering his speech to a packed house, Dr. Brazelton took questions from the audience. One woman had a question about breastfeeding her three-year-old child.

A sizeable number of audience members started to murmur regarding the woman’s choice to nurse a child that age. The negative energy unsettled the mother and she paused in the middle of her question. The silence seemed to last forever, but Dr. Brazelton kept his compassionate gaze upon her. It was as if they were the only two people in the room. He nodded for her to continue and she tentatively resumed speaking. When she finished her question, he answered her. He then took the next question.

Why has this stayed with me for twenty-five years? In that moment, I saw Dr. Brazelton as an awesome leader because he didn’t do anything. He cared enough to wait. He held the space for her. The woman at the microphone felt his connection—and I did, too, as an observer. He didn’t play to the audience. He didn’t diminish the woman or her question. And by doing so, Dr. Brazelton allowed me to observe the transformational power of caring by truly listening. That evening, I learned so much from him—far beyond the topic of his speech.

Obviously, listening, caring, and creating a connection are important to me as a coach. It was not Dr. Brazelton’s education or professorships or thirty-page resume that affected me the evening I heard his speech. I was transformed by seeing a self-aware individual care to hear the question of another. It was powerful—and it remains powerful all these years later.

As the years have passed, I recall that night often and use it as a calibration in my own work by asking myself: In what ways am I creating connections like that?

How about you? Taking the opportunity to continually improve is essential to becoming a better, more self-aware leader. Unlike a hard skill, we’re never finished when it comes to improving our ability to listen, to be present, and to validate others. Consider how you can model both the hard and soft sides of leadership in your conversations. You’ll help yourself and others in working together more effectively—and isn’t that wonderful!

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

“No. It’s not a panacea,” says coaching expert Patricia Overland in an article for Chief Learning Officer. “Determining when coaching is a good investment can be challenging.”

Overland shares a couple of examples from her experience when a leader may not be ready to learn and apply coaching skills. Overland explains that offering coaching without addressing these underlying beliefs is usually a recipe for failure.

• If they prefer command and control: They just want people to do their jobs.
• If they don’t value innovation: They just want people to do things the way they’ve done them before.
• If they have a negative attitude about people: They believe that people only do what they have to.
• If they have a negative attitude toward coaching: They know all the answers and think coaching is a flavor-of-the-month methodology.

For those leaders ready for coaching, Overland points to a research study conducted by Human Capital Institute and The International Coach Federation which found, “A strong coaching culture positively correlates with employee engagement and financial performance. Nearly two-thirds of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures rate their employees as being highly engaged, compared to only half from organizations without strong coaching cultures. In terms of financial impact, 51 percent of respondents from organizations with strong coaching cultures report their 2015 revenue to be above that of their industry peer group, compared to 38 percent from all other organizations.”

To be successful at coaching, Overland identifies five must-haves that need to be in place:

Environment: Before coaching, managers should let direct reports know they’ll be doing things a bit differently. Set the stage, get permission to coach and check in frequently to ensure this new way of leading is hitting the mark.

Trust: Trust is a foundation for any coaching relationship. The manager’s role can be especially hard because they have both perceived and real power over direct reports. Getting people to talk openly and honestly about their needs, motivations and skill level takes patience, practice and trust.

Intent: It is important to begin by being very clear about objectives and goals. If a manager notices that coaching is going off track, they should examine their own motivations and beliefs. It can be powerful to say, “That didn’t go the way I intended” and start again, working to be more supportive and encouraging.

Action: Development is good. Development with focused action is better. The purpose behind great coaching is to influence some kind of change in mindset and behavior. Encourage others to take specific actions that are focused on achieving a desired outcome. This moves coaching beyond much disdained navel gazing to a strategy with real bottom-line impact.

Accountability: Leaders who use coaching skills help others commit to behavior change. Even with the best of intentions, people get sidetracked, work gets reprioritized, and sometimes life just gets in the way.

Coaching effectively supports long-term and sustained employee development encourages Overland. “Consider the higher engagement levels, trusting relationships and financial health to be gained from a shift to a coaching culture — and say yes!”

To read the complete article at Chief Learning Officer, click here.

Dear Madeleine,

I am an EVP of strategy and shareholder value for a billion dollar global conglomerate. I have been working with a coach for the last six months and she has made a huge difference in terms of helping me prioritize, focus, and develop more powerful relationships. Things have been going so well that I am now seriously being considered to replace the CFO when he retires, which will be soon. Also in the running is our comptroller, who is a very bright and very powerful person.

I just found out the coach I am working with has been tapped to also work with this comptroller—essentially my competition. I feel that my secret weapon has been stolen from me and my coach has betrayed me by agreeing to take on the job. I am so mad that I’m thinking of firing my coach—but I really like her and trust her, so I worry that I am being childish. What do you think?

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

You may be being childish, but from a social neuroscience standpoint, when something feels unfair we are all reduced to acting like four-year-olds. So you are not to be blamed, honestly. However, let’s make sure you can experience your feelings, get back to your very rational self, and proceed like the grownup you actually are.

The only thing for you to do is to have a conversation with your coach. Does your coach know you perceive the comptroller as your competition? You will want to know what the coach’s rationale is for her decision to work with both of you. Presumably she is well trained and thoughtful and has given this some thought either way. I do know that for most coaches, the practice of working with both a boss and a direct report is frowned upon as it is very difficult to keep out of the mix. But we often work with peers, many of whom have the same goals for advancement and promotion. It really doesn’t make a difference, though, because coaching is always focused on the person being coached: leveraging their strengths, their needs, what is in their way, etc. We share the just-in-time concepts that are going to support the client at the moment they need it. No decent coach would ever use any knowledge of others they are working with to help another client get the upper hand. The coach will always hold the truth that the only person you are competing with at any given moment is yourself. You can certainly share how you feel with your coach and see what she has to say.

As you have the conversation with your coach, check your gut. Ask yourself, “Do I still trust this person to have my best interests at heart?” If the answer is yes, then carry on with her. If the answer is I don’t know, have one more session with that question top of mind and then decide. If the answer is no, then fire your coach and ask for another one to work with. I am sure your coach is great, but frankly, any trained and certified coach who has been vetted by your company will be totally competent and able to continue where the last coach left off. Who knows, you might find someone even better!

Clients do get attached to their coaches, but here is one thing to keep in mind: The coach is only as good as the client. What clients get attached to, really, is how competent and brilliant they feel with just a teeny bit of good coaching. So the thing for you to know is that the person who is doing so well in this situation is you. Help is useful only to people who know how to ask for it and avail themselves of it. So don’t worry, Betrayed, there are plenty of secret weapons out there because you know how to use them. You have everything at your disposal that you need to compete.

Go get that job, if that is what you really want—with your current coach, a new coach, or no coach at all.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Step 1: What is the goal? What outcomes do you want coaching to achieve? Is a behavior change required? Is a shift in thinking necessary? What exactly has to change? Being specific about outcomes is surprisingly hard for people. Earlier this year, we worked with an organizational sponsor to set up coaching for an executive. When we asked the desired outcome, the sponsor replied, “I’ll know it when I see it.” Needless to say, the target was constantly changing. Coaching is an exploratory process but it must be done with a clear target in mind.

Step 2: Prepare the person to be coached. This includes going over a set of expectations prior to the launch of coaching. Be sure to include expectations around feedback. Share that requests for behavior change will be made in a clear and specific manner along with discussions that ensure feedback is understood and acted upon. Discuss how to create the space for the person being coached to reflect how they might best use coaching and what outcomes they want to achieve.

Step 3: Stick with it. Discuss follow-up. Organizations often expect overnight results. Coaching does not replace the need for internal organizational support—in other words, the manager of the person being coached is not off the hook. In fact, this is a time for the manager to step up, lean in, and follow through. Set up a plan to recognize and acknowledge the growth of the coachee and then support that growth with positive and specific feedback.

Step 4: Gather success stories. Ensure your coaching interventions have some method or process to capture the successes brought about by coaching. Use a post-coaching interview process to capture the changes made and their impact on not only the person being coached but also those around her. Help the coachee to link those successes to business strategies or imperatives. Document the successes and leverage them as a way to influence others to take advantage of coaching.

Coaching will have an impact on people who engage in the process. Careful thought, planning, and follow-through can dramatically increase the effectiveness of coaching, which will pay off a hundred fold in your organization.

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Let’s give a nod to the great political leaders whose journeys of provoking and leading change on a massive scale provide worthwhile leadership lessons: King Solomon, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King, Jr., to name a mere handful.

Then we have to acknowledge the modern writers on leadership specifically: Drucker, Bennis, Maxwell, Blanchard.

But this is about the leadership books that have made the biggest difference for coaches. I have asked several of our Blanchard coaches and many of my peers, and here are the results:

Tony Klingmeyer, one of our Blanchard Master coaches, chose Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. Tony says “It is wonderfully written, about many of the dilemmas and paradoxes our clients face when leading in organizations.” In this short and sweet book, Farson details the complexities of navigating human beings and debunks some well meaning management advice.

Renee Freedman, MCC, former director of The SupporTED Coaching Program, says her favorite book is The Leadership Dojo by Richard Heckler Strozzi. Renee says “Although there is much great guidance here, two primary things about this book sucked me in and made me fall in love with it: 1) it treats leadership as a somatic experience and that’s how I experience it; and 2) it has a 5-step leadership process of entering, centering, facing, extending, and blending—which I find extremely simple, effective, and trainable. It changed leadership for me from believing that only 1% of people can lead to understanding that anyone can lead, including me!”

Ann Marie Heidingsfelder picked Wooden on Leadership: How to Create a Winning Organization by John Wooden.

Many coaches on a recent webinar chose Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. It is essentially the application of the concepts of emotional intelligence to leadership. How many clients really need to understand the fundamentals of self awareness, self regulation, awareness of others, and modifying self to be more effective with others? All of them.

Then there’s Leadership BS by Jeffrey Pfeffer. A recent addition to the canon, I personally love the devil’s advocate position the author takes against some of the baloney being peddled by leadership companies out there. No nonsense, brass tacks, and really useful for coaches helping clients navigate the insanity of the global business world. My particular favorite moment is when the author debunks the notion that leaders need to be “authentic.” This book is validating for natural subversives and required reading for idealists.

Why Smart Executives Fail by Sydney Finkelstein is one of my all time favorites and should be required reading for anyone aspiring to senior leadership—and those who coach them. You might think because it came out in 2003 that it is obsolete, but you would be wrong. Finkelstein examines some of the whopping business failures and teases out the mistakes that were made. These lessons are timeless. But my favorite chapter is “The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful People.” Just the title makes me laugh out loud.

Another great book is Coaching for Leadership by Goldsmith, Lyons, and McArthur. This one is kind of a no-brainer, because it is an anthology with writings from leadership and coaching experts with extremely targeted practical advice for all kinds of situations (understanding purpose, gender differences, working cross generationally and culturally, etc.). Of course, Goldsmith’s entire body of work is must-know—particularly What Got You Here Won’t Get You There—but this is a different resource altogether.

Finally, a crowd favorite: Leadership and Self-Deception from The Arbinger Institute. A fairly fast and easy read that outlines the effects of self-deception and how to fix it. The fundamental premise is that when we behave in ways that do not match our values, we betray ourselves.

How does that match up with your list? Any books you’d add? Just include them in the comments section!

Your Leadership Point of View

Clarifying what you expect of yourself and of others and then sharing this information as your Leadership Point of View helps you and your team succeed together. It accelerates the process of helping people learn what makes you tick and brings about greater alignment faster. Creating an intentional vision also allows leaders to demonstrate consistency between their values, their words, and their actions.

In a post entitled Leadership Transparency: 3 Ways to Be More Open with Your People, Ken Blanchard shares three ways sharing their Leadership Point of View (LPOV) helps leaders connect with their direct reports.

1. Your LPOV identifies your beliefs about leading and managing people. Who are the people that have influenced you in your life? Most people think about traditional leaders first, but the reality is that parents, teachers, and other important people in our lives are the ones who have usually influenced our thinking the most. Given what you’ve learned from these influencers and your core values, what are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
2. Your LPOV reveals what motivates you. How can you communicate what you believe and how it influences your behavior? When you share your LPOV with your direct reports, they will have the benefit of understanding where you’re coming from, what you expect from them, and what they can expect from you.
3. Your LPOV helps you lead by example. Your Leadership Point of View lets people know how you will set an example for the values and behaviors you are encouraging. We all know from personal experience that people learn from behaviors, not from words. Leaders must walk their talk. Developing a Leadership Point of View creates a clear path for you to follow.

A Coach Can Help

In working with leaders going through our Leadership Point of View program, we’ve found it requires courage and vulnerability to really think through past events that have contributed to the person you are today. A coach can guide a leader through this process—for example, to assess which stories to share and how to share them.

Earlier this year, I had the privilege of coaching a leader in the aeronautics industry. This engineer shared with me her story of being a child refugee—memories of her family leaving their communist country via airplane to start a new life in Australia. As a little girl she saw the airplane as a symbol of hope, opportunity, and the future. Until our coaching, this woman hadn’t realized the powerful connection her mind had made between airplanes and her family’s freedom! We used that metaphor throughout her LPOV, and it was extremely powerful. Her team had always seen her as a competent and capable engineer, but by sharing the story of her youth, they could see that what propelled her work was optimism and hope.

Developing and sharing your Leadership Point of View is a powerful process for creating connection. As the leader, you are sharing with your direct reports the key people, events, and beliefs that illustrate what you truly value. Consider how a coach can help you share what makes you you.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 120 coaches have worked with over 15,000 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Wondering what people want to talk about most often during times of uncertainty? And how coaching can help? Below are a few common topics managers discuss with their coach when things get stressful.

Managing emotions. A coach creates a safe environment to encourage a manager to deeply self-reflect about his or her true thoughts and feelings. Discussions will center on what is causing the emotion and how to manage it. A coach will also help the manager identify resources and strategies to help control the emotion.

Executive presence. In order to minimize the uncertainty that comes with change, a manager’s attitude, poise, body language, agility, and patience are key. A coach will help a manager gain clarity on how they need to show up in order to lead effectively.

Communication. To build trust and lessen concerns during uncertain times, it is crucial for a manager to be as transparent as possible with information. Direct reports experience several levels of concern during change that a manager needs to address, such as “What is causing the change?” “How will the change impact me?” or “How do I manage all the details?” A coach will support a manager in creating a communication plan and being an effective listener.

Lack of control. A coach will help a manager gain clarity over what is and is not within his or her control. Discussions will center on how to be impactful, influential, and forward focused.  This allows a manager broaden his or her perspective and think differently managing in uncertainty. The coach will support the manager in being creative and finding ways to remain effective and be a guide, leader, and resource for direct reports and colleagues.

All of us deal with self-doubt and uncertainty when faced with turbulent times. A coach can often act as a calming influence and help us find alternatives and resources we might not be able to find for ourselves.

How about you? Have you tried to go it alone? For those who are open to it, a coach can provide an extra layer of individualized one-on-one support for leaders at every level.

About the Author
Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I was surprised at how few responses I got on this particular question—because I have so many on my list.

This possibly could be because I started coaching before there were any books about coaching. So I turned to other disciplines for guidance.

The Career Counselor’s Handbook by Howard Figler and Richard N. Bolles.

JoAnne Maynard, PCC, Blanchard staff coach, says: “There is so much great coaching advice in this book, which is not a coaching book, that it surprised me.  Neither author is technically a coach, but they present many key principals coaches can use.”

A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon.

Renee Freedman, MCC, former director of the SupporTED Coaching Program, offers: “This is a lovely book about our emotional system and how we connect with others—recognition, resonance, and revision. It is a great book for people who want to build relationships and intimacy or to understand chemistry.”

The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone.

This is the surprising suggestion from Tony Klingmeyer, MCC, executive coach and past president ICF–GA.   Tony says this book “inspires about the lengths one must travel to be masterful at one’s art or craft.”

Several folks volunteered that the Bible had made a significant impact on their coaching, in that so many of the teachings seem to represent universal laws, such as ask and you shall receive.

The books that have made the biggest difference for me are these:

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

Several other people chose this book as well.  Renee Freedman said “I cannot imagine coaching without this book as a referral to my clients. It’s so great for so many things—self care, exploration, creativity, a process for transformation and transition, inner awareness and connection.”  I agree.  I have lost count of how many times I have recommended Julia Cameron’s practices to clients who need to reconnect with their creative selves.

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Csikszentmihalyi (whose name is pronounced Me-high Chick-sent-me-high in case you were wondering—and now you can impress your friends) is known as one of the pioneers of positive psychology and has written many books worth checking out. This was an early entrant to the conversation about what we now think of “getting into the zone.”   It is not a mass-market read, but if you are interested in the science of optimal productivity this could be for you.

Creating Minds by Howard Gardner.

This was my introduction to Gardner’s work, and to be fair, my first coaching company was devoted to creative geniuses.  However, I would submit that anyone who is chasing a dream is a creative force.  This work examines the lives of brilliant innovators who essentially created entirely new domains or art forms—Picasso, Freud, Stravinsky, Einstein, Graham, and others—looking for common threads.  Gardner noted what he called the ten-year rule (which pre-dated Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours hypothesis [http://gladwell.com/outliers/the-10000-hour-rule/]), evidenced by most true innovators spending ten years mastering their domain before breaking through to a completely revolutionary new one.   Gardner has also researched and written extensively on multiple intelligences, which is extremely useful for coaches who need to ask not if the client is smart, but how the client is smart.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Coaches often collect and share what one might think of as universal laws, and this book offers some of these based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The agreements are: Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions  and  Always Do Your Best. Don’t let this keep you from the book, because there is a lot more to offer than just the agreements. But I mean, seriously, how can anyone go wrong adopting these rules?

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

Okay, I know, it is hokey as all get out.  But I was so moved by it that I gave it to all of my clients for the holidays in 1990.  It is simply a fable about a young man following his dream, and his classic hero’s journey.  It is a fun and easy read for those who don’t like to read.  People who decide to work with a coach do it because they have a dream that they are not moving toward for various and sundry reasons, all of which show up in the story.  There is plenty of inspiration here.

Leadership and The New Science by Meg Wheatley.

About 23 years ago, I asked my new friend Alexander Caillet, who is now the CEO of Corentus [http://www.corentus.com/founder/ ], what one book he thought I should read and this was it. It absolutely rocked my world for a host of different reasons, but mainly for helping me understand that chaos is essential before order can be achieved.   Wheatley was one of the first to borrow ideas drawn from quantum physics, chaos theory, and molecular biology and apply them to leadership and organizational strategy.  It was revolutionary at the time, and pretty much still is.

The Four Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary by Angeles Arrien.

Arrien researched leaders and change agents in indigenous cultures and found that despite radical differences in culture and customs, they all did four things in common.  This alone is worth the price of the book.  However, she also provides some excellent ideas on how to develop oneself if one identifies with any of the roles in the title.  I have lost count of how many times I have bought this book and given it away.

The Pleasure of Finding Things Out by Richard Feynman.

It is one of minor tragedies of my life that I just don’t have the right brain to do physics, because I absolutely love physics.  But Richard Feynman is a genius who can discuss physics in a way that people like me can actually understand, and along the way address fascinating topics like creativity and even thinking itself.  The sheer beauty of the way he is able to get to simplicity on the other side of complexity is spellbinding.

A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilbur.

Ken Wilbur is not for everyone. He is a true philosopher who has spent his entire life thinking about how things really work.  He has created elegant models that visually represent all of his logic. His work is guaranteed to expand and broaden your thinking and make it more likely that, as a coach, you will be able to understand pretty much anyone you work with.

That’s my list. What’s on your bookshelf?  Please add books you’d recommend in the comments section below!

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

I once conducted interview-based 360-degree assessments with three executives in the automotive industry.

Coming in as a third party consultant, I perceived a cautious skepticism from the leaders under review.

I decided, right at the onset, to create an environment conducive to their learning from the feedback they would be receiving. My goal was to help them be receptive to the comments and to avoid the thought that often comes by default when reading negative feedback: Who could have said that?

My clients and I worked together during the first meeting and agreed to navigate the process while bearing in mind the following three principles:

1. The feedback you will receive is not you. It is how others observe you. As Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson discuss in their book The New One Minute Manager®, when giving negative feedback—a re-direct, as they call it in the book—you want to get rid of the bad behavior but keep the good person. As soon as I said this to my clients, their sense of relief was noticeable even over the phone. I even pictured them nodding in agreement as they thought about the separation between who they are and how others may perceive their behaviors. I could feel them becoming more relaxed as they began to open up and ask vulnerable questions.
2. Intention + observable behaviors = impact. I developed this equation as a simple illustration for myself and others of how, by aligning our observable behaviors with our intention, we can generate the impact we desire. Interestingly, after I shared this equation, the leaders identified on their own the behaviors they needed to improve to increase their impact and performance.
3. Don’t waste energy trying to identify who said what. Although the 360-degree assessment is a tool for development, not for performance review, it is natural to respond with some emotion when receiving the feedback. It often triggers a fight-or-flight response. To help my clients avoid worrying about who said what, I asked them to focus instead on thinking: If this feedback were true, what could I learn from it? The leaders found this thought very liberating. They realized the exercise was not about finger-pointing. This way of thinking reassured them that the process was for them to learn about and become aware of areas for improvement.

After looking at the feedback with these principles in mind, the leaders expressed their enthusiasm for the process and saw it as an opportunity to further develop their leadership skills. Because of their positive attitude, the debriefs went smoothly—even though the feedback included acknowledging some hard truths.

One client stated, “This has been the best feedback exercise I’ve experienced. I now know the behaviors I need to work on when crafting my development plan.”

I have used and shared these three principles with many clients, with great results. I’m certain you’ll find similar success in feedback sessions you are facilitating. Have you used similar principles in the past? Try it! And please share your experiences in the comments section.

About the Author

Antonio Estrada, MBA, Engineer and Certified Professional Coach is a member of Blanchard Coaching Services network of executive and leadership coaches.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services.

Dear Madeleine

My question is: how does an organization scale their management team and keep skills sharp as they grow?  We are a software development services shop and we are growing fast—we currently have 30 people in management positions.

It’s getting more difficult each day to make sure everyone is managing from the same playbook.  We have seen many of our customers reach this stage and fail.  We don’t want this to happen to us.

Growing Fast

Dear Growing Fast,

Well, thanks so much for asking! How smart you are to notice the chaos out there and to be extremely intentional as you grow. I will try to keep this short because, honestly, the answer could be a Ph.D dissertation, and also because I need to keep this from being a long plug for everything we do here at The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Begin with the end in mind.  I have two words for you: Vision and Values.  Vision means that you know exactly where you are going and how you are going to get there.  The book to help you with this is Full Steam Ahead. Values means identifying what is most important to you in your culture and your employees.

A lot of lip service is given to values—but once an organization decides what they are and prints them up, they are generally forgotten. All you have to do to see what happens when organizations do this is to read the news. If you don’t want your employees writing blogs someday about what a nightmare it is to work for you, you can avoid it right now at the beginning of your journey.

The organizations that last and make it are the ones with values that are used to make decisions. You are still a small shop. You and the other founding leaders can get together and work to get crystal clear about where you are going and what is most important about how you’ll get there.

Next, you need absolutely solid operational leadership.  Jim Collins nailed it in his book Good to Great. Collins says you have to get the right people on the bus, in the right seats, and get the wrong people off the bus. This means keeping the people who can be aligned with the vision and values and who have the right skill sets and attitude to go the distance.  It sounds so stunningly simple, but I can assure you it is fiendishly difficult to achieve. It’s much easier to start with this idea rather than having to retrofit later.

Finally, you will want to absolutely bullet proof your day-to-day performance management—and I can say with confidence that our Situational Leadership® II model is what you need. Learn it and teach it to every manager in your organization, because it is a no-brainer.  Seriously, I managed people for a decade before I stumbled over it and thought, “OMG where has this been all my life?” I just can’t imagine how anyone manages people without it.  Well, actually, I take that back, you don’t have to imagine it—all you have to do is look around at all the terrible managing that is going on.

The fundamentals are:  it starts with crystal clear goals and tasks for each employee. Then the manager and employee work together to assess the employee’s competence and confidence on each task or goal.  From there the manager and employee identify the right mix of direction and support so the employee gets exactly what they need to win.  Finally, the manager and employee check in regularly to go over goals, tasks, and development needs so there is no confusion. As Ken Blanchard says, “Common sense, but not common practice!”

If you focus on these fundamentals, the good news is that you won’t have to be worried when it comes time for performance reviews.  As you probably know, many companies are getting rid of them—see our recent white paper here.

I suppose you were hoping for something a little less involved.  Sorry.  But if you have your company’s vision and values articulated in a way so that there can be no confusion, and if you have the right people in the right jobs and everyone actually knows what their job is, you will be ahead of the game.

The upside to getting all of this even kind of right is incalculable.  It will mean staying in business when your competitors flame out.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

“Managers need to know how to set clear goals, diagnose development levels, and determine the correct leadership style to bring out the best in people. That’s a foundational management framework,” Blanchard says.

“But after that, managers need to take a deeper dive into the leadership styles we identify as Coaching and Supporting.  We’ve found through our research that 75 percent of the time, these two leadership styles are needed most to match the development level of a direct report on a task.”

“Most experienced managers are comfortable with setting goals and holding people accountable for achieving them, but they still need to work on providing direction and support along the way.”

Blanchard recommends that learning and development professionals add a coaching module into their leadership training curriculum. In his experience, a coaching module provides managers with enhanced skills in three key areas: day-to-day coaching, conversations beyond performance management, and conversations that focus on career growth.

“A manager who uses the coaching process can better guide a direct report in identifying a problem and looking at options. A coaching mindset is also helpful in areas that aren’t specifically related to a task, such as conversations between manager and direct report that focus on career or personal development. Managers have to get the work done, but there is an implied expectation that a manager will also be ready to help an employee see the bigger picture regarding their development—both personally and professionally within the organization.”

Trust as a Foundation

Blanchard recommends that L&D professionals also look at adding a trust module into their curriculum. He highlights the four pillars of interpersonal trust taught in his company’s Building Trust program—being perceived as Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable. Blanchard highlights the word perceived because trust is ultimately determined by each direct report’s perceptions and experiences of the manager’s behavior.

“Managers need to know how they stand in their employees’ eyes against these four components of trust. Good management starts with the realization that leadership is a partnership.  From there, you learn a mindset of service—because leadership is all about serving others in pursuit of common goals. Finally, you make sure your behaviors match your intentions. By participating in a curriculum that includes trust and coaching skills, you can learn to be the type of leader who always provides the right amount of direction and support and helps everyone win.”

To learn more about Blanchard’s recommendations for creating a complete leadership development curriculum, check out his full interview in the March issue of Ignite. Looking to learn more about bringing trust and coaching skills into your leadership development program? Join Blanchard for a free webinar he is hosting on March 29—Creating an Integrated Curriculum: Coaching, Trust, and Situational Leadership® II.

Dear Madeleine,

I love to grow and develop. I always take advantage of any 360° feedback assessments my company offers. I regularly ask my boss, direct reports, and peers for constructive feedback.

Lucky for me, my 360° scores are high and I generally hear “just keep doing what you are doing” from my coworkers. That said, I still want to stretch and grow but don’t have a clear idea of what I should do. Can you make any suggestions?

Want to Grow

Dear Want to Grow,

What a great problem to have. And I am so glad you asked—because, of course, I have loads of suggestions.

First the obvious: If your organization offers 360° feedback, there is a good chance they also offer training programs. Sign up for everything you can, and become a poster child for your favorite programs. Maybe you’ll find something you are so passionate about that you become a trainer.

Do you have an advanced degree? If not, perhaps your organization will help fund one. If you go that way, though, please don’t send me hate mail. It is worth it, but it is hard.

Ultimately, growth and development will come from creating goals and experiences for yourself that require you to be a little uncomfortable. Feedback is great and allows you to develop yourself in the context of your job and your current circle of colleagues. But that’s still only one perspective.  You’ll want to expand your thinking. Some ideas:

• Look backwards to see where you have had your biggest wins. Think about what made those moments great and what qualities or strengths you have that have gone un-leveraged.
• Move toward the heat. Notice what interests you that you enjoy and do naturally but that may not be on your radar screen. Perhaps you love to write—see if you can contribute to your company blog or newsletter. Perhaps you are an event planning genius and love throwing a great party—join a committee that might need you.
• Build your network. The thing that is most important to your career growth besides work ethic and competence is the ability to grow and nurture a network of relationships. If this suggestion is unattractive to you, it probably means it would be an excellent new area for you to develop. Make a map of people in your organization who interest you and either start a relationship or build on the one you have. Find someone you respect and admire and ask them to mentor you. Scroll through the million connections you have on LinkedIn, find people you want to get to know, and set up a call.
• Build your industry knowledge. Are you an expert in your field? If not, decide to become one. Join industry groups on social media and subscribe to newsletters to read up.
• Travel. Save up your PTO and plan a month-long trip someplace you’ve always wanted to go. I didn’t realize I wanted to do that until a colleague did it and I felt a stab of envy. Guess what? I am going to Mongolia this summer—something I have been fantasizing about for fifteen years.
• Master something. Choose one thing you are good at and you like to do and become a master at it. Mastery comes from intense commitment and repetition, and it can be extraordinarily fulfilling for some.
• Look to the “life” portion of your life/work formula. Maybe your home environment is not quite up to your standard? How about your health and physical fitness? Perhaps your spiritual life could use some attention? How would rate your satisfaction with your relationships in terms of family and friends? Are you a parent? A great parent? You could take a parenting class. Now might be the time to get your home administration and financials systemized and effortless. How about volunteering for a cause you care deeply about? Go walk and play with dogs at your local shelter. Go hold babies in the NICU. Be a big brother or big sister. Spread the wealth of your wonderfulness.

Earlier, I mentioned envy for a reason. We are all mostly uncomfortable with the feeling of envy and even deny it when we do feel it; but it is instructive. Notice what others have that you feel envious of. That is data for you. It’s data about something you secretly want or maybe even need—something you don’t have because you probably haven’t admitted it to yourself.

I hope I have provided you with food for thought. Please let me know what you decide to do—I can’t wait to hear!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

This extra step is important in today’s busy work environment. Many organizations don’t have the resources to provide managers the time to grow and develop their people. And employees often don’t have enough room in their schedules to practice training concepts when they get back to work.

Done right, coaching to support learning sends employees a clear-cut message: Your leaders believe training is important—and we want to provide you with the support you need to be able to apply your new learnings back on the job.

Here are three best practices to provide coaching that supports learning in a way that works.

• Support and reinforce behavior change after learning new skills. Post-training coaching sessions keep training concepts top of mind for a much longer period of time. During coaching, participants choose one, two, or three of their newly learned skills they believe would benefit most from practice. The skill(s) they select become the focus for their ongoing development plan.
• Support learners in taking action and using training concepts back on the job. Coaching provides the gift of time and space as well as a neutral partner to help them think through how to practice and implement what they learned in training. So that their new learning doesn’t feel overwhelming, coaching participants are encouraged to begin their new skill practice on a small scale, choosing one or two trusted colleagues to practice with. During coaching, participants strategize with their coach exactly what they will practice and with whom. Once the person is more confident, their new skills can be rolled out more broadly.
• Create a learning lab environment where employees can safely review and practice training concepts. Confidential coaching allows employees the opportunity to define their own customized learning plan—to declare how they are going to structure their own development. It allows employees to define a customized approach to their learning.

Looking back on training you have received in the past, try to recall how much information you retained and were able to apply on the job after training. How might things have been different if you had reviewed the training content every few weeks—with someone who was solely interested in supporting you in utilizing what you learned? We’d love to hear your thoughts!

About the Author

Joanne Maynard is a senior coach with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I have been asked to participate in a 360 degree feedback program.

My boss and the HR team will see the results—and I think the results are going to be used to make promotion decisions.

I have a bad feeling about this. I’m not that worried about someone giving negative feedback, but the whole process feels very unsafe to me.

My participation seems to be optional. What do you think?

Unsafe

Dear Unsafe,

Well, this is a can of worms if there ever was one. There are entire books on this topic!

The best practice in most organizations is to give the results of a 360 report only to the person who is the subject of the feedback, and to offer the support of a trained professional to debrief the report with the participant and create an action plan based on the results. I have heard of organizations including 360 results in personnel decisions, but it is not a recommended practice. The problem with any feedback is that it usually says as much about the person giving it as it does about the person receiving it, so the results can be tricky to interpret. You can’t always be certain about anyone’s agenda, especially if that person has an ax to grind or is competing for a job with the subject of the feedback.

In your situation, I would say get more information to help you make the decision about whether or not to move ahead with the program. Questions to ask include:

• What is the assessment, and is it a validated tool? (We have seen some 360 tools created “in house” that are really poorly written and confusing! This can invalidate any results.)
• What does the assessment measure?
• How will your raters be chosen and will you have input on the choice?
• Will you get to see and learn from the results?
• Will you get help to interpret the results and create an action plan based on them?
• Who else will be doing this process?
• Who exactly will be seeing the results?
• How will the results be used to make decisions?
• Just how optional is this opportunity?

Ultimately, declining a development opportunity never makes you look good. And properly sourced feedback can be a gift, so I am inclined to say go for it. But if you feel unsafe, I suspect there is a good reason for it.

Sit down with your boss and get answers to your questions. Share your uncertainty and ask your boss what he or she thinks you should do. A candid conversation about the whole thing will increase your confidence and ability to make the right decision for yourself.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

I am a COO in a multi-national import business. Our founding CFO has a foot out the door and we want to promote our comptroller, Bridget, into the job. She is lightning fast, ahead of the curve on international issues, articulate, and can really stand up for herself in what is—let’s face it—pretty much a man’s world. She has her MBA and she seems to be ambitious.

The problem is, Bridget has no idea how to dress. This may seem superficial, but we are all charcoal-suit- with-the-white-shirt guys. She dresses like she buys her clothes at Victoria’s Secret and she wears way too much makeup. Her unprofessional appearance totally distracts from her good qualities.

So far she has worked behind the scenes so no one has said anything. But if she were promoted we would need her to take part in client meetings—including in Asia and the Middle East—and she would need to look professional and upscale.

No one knows how to approach Bridget about this. We are actually considering just passing her over and starting a search. What do you think?

Buttoned-up Suit

___________________________________________________________

Dear Buttoned-up,

I think it would be sad for both Bridget and you—not to mention expensive in both time and money—to pass her over and launch a new search before making an attempt to solve this problem. What a waste if you have someone already on staff who is almost perfect.

I have to wonder: where is your HR department in all of this? I can only assume they are also buttoned-up suits and don’t even see this as their problem since you are the one writing. You obviously believe in this woman and want to see her succeed, so I encourage you to make the effort—but you will need to tread lightly.

It would be absurd to overlook someone who knows and gets along well with all of you, who will have zero learning curve about the company, and who is incredibly competent. But I understand the dilemma and I believe Bridget needs to hear the feedback and act on it. This is no small feat, but it can be done. It is not that unusual a situation but there are some big hurdles here—so you have to decide if they are worth the effort.

Have the talk.

It would be ideal if you could find a female executive who could have a talk with Bridget—but it sounds as if that might not be an option. So someone—maybe your HR person, maybe you—is going to have to man up and sit down with your whiz kid. In the conversation, make it crystal clear that her current way of presenting herself may well be holding her back—and that she needs to literally show the executive team that she is willing and able to up her game to be considered for this promotion.

This needs to be handled sensitively, but if it is clear to Bridget that the person giving the feedback really has her best interests at heart, it could work. I am speaking from experience. I went from being an actress to working in the corporate world and had no idea how to dress. My new boss, whom I trusted, gave me feedback after my first client session: my skirt was too short, my heels were too high, and I shouldn’t wear sleeveless blouses. I was truly embarrassed, but I knew it wasn’t personal and I was grateful because I knew my boss had my back. I went shopping and started a collection of what I considered work uniforms.

Be specific.

When talking to Bridget, use neutral language to describe the problem. Be very specific without adding value judgments. An example: “We think you are great at your job—but in order to consider you for any promotion, we need you to dress more professionally. You’ll need to wear blouses that have short or long sleeves and that fit properly, are not revealing and do not gape. Your heels should be no higher than 3 inches, and the length of your skirts and dresses should be no shorter than 2 inches above the knee.” (I would say no higher than fingertips of extended arms, but some people have short arms and anyone over 50 really should not be using that rule anyway.) Emphasize that clothes should fit properly and not be tight.

If you aren’t really sure, consult a website—there are tons. Here is one: What Is Professional Business Attire for Women?

Offer assistance—and understanding.

You might consider offering Bridget a wardrobe budget so that she can quickly and completely rebuild her work wardrobe. This process takes years for most of us. It would help to suggest a personal shopper as well, and equip Bridget with pictures of what you would consider to be appropriate. Also, think about gifting her with a lesson from a professional makeup artist to help her find a daytime appropriate work look.

Dress and presentation are rooted in culture and deeply personal. Many people see how they dress as a fundamental form of self expression. You can have conversation about this. Women who dress provocatively in the workplace are often following a role model that makes sense to them; or they really enjoy making an impact; or they simply believe it is what is expected of them. I have worked with many employees over the years who see the way they dress as a political statement and feel, therefore, that clients should be okay with it. But nothing will ever make it okay for an outside consultant to wear Birkenstocks to a meeting at Goldman Sachs. I often compare dressing for success to wearing a costume to make the right impact on a specific audience.

Present rationale—and time line for the shift.

Make it very clear that this is not personal—it’s because you believe she will be more effective if she is able to match the way she presents herself to the culture of the organization. Certainly remind her that in her personal life she can, of course, wear whatever makes her happiest.

Set a reasonable target date for when you expect to see a substantial change in how she presents herself. Expect that you will need to give her a few second chances—and when she shows up at work wearing something unsuitable, gently but specifically point out to her what is inappropriate.

Be realistic about the outcome.

Finally, keep in mind that she may not be able to make the shift. I have seen it happen a couple of times. This would also be sad but at least you will have made the effort, and she will have been given the  opportunity. Some people will never compromise their self image for any reason.

This is a tricky situation. It touches on gender equality issues, personal identity, and the compromises we all make to fit into our tribes of choice. But it is not as if you are a nasty boys’ club asking her to wear tighter, shorter skirts. That would be a real problem. You want to invite her to be in your executive level club—where you know she deserves to be. But to get that invitation, she needs a costume change.

Let me know how it goes—and good luck!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Then again, truth can be hard to define. Thomas J. Leonard, a pioneer in the coaching field, identifies some distinctions on truth in his book The Portable Coach:

—Not all truth is provable by standard measurements.

—A personal truth may not be provable by facts.

—Truth may change and evolve over time.

As coaches, we help clients recognize their personal truths, develop self-awareness, and have the courage to take positive risks. We create a safe environment where people can tell the truth without fear of negative consequences. But even with this encouragement, clients aren’t always as truthful as they could be.

So how can coaches encourage more truth-telling behavior among our clients?  Here’s a 3-step process I use:

1. Pay attention to the client’s tone of voice and energy level—and question statements that don’t ring true.
2. When it sounds like a client is spinning a tale, it is okay to interject and challenge them.
3. Challenge by asking, not telling, since even the best coaches can be off base. You can do this by repeating the client’s statement back to them and asking them how it sounds.

I’ve had a number of clients burst out laughing when they hear their own statement repeated back to them. They often realize that they have convinced themselves of something that may not be true or is an outdated belief.

Give this process a try. Once people recognize the truth, the most natural response is to start changing behavior to align with it. Celebrate the truth and the freedom that comes from being honest with ourselves!

About the Author

Kathleen Martin is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Martin’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Hi Madeleine,

I am a hotel manager for a high end property in a large metropolitan city.

I am trying to create a program where department heads and midlevel managers at the hotel can come together to chat candidly about their career goals and how to achieve them. I have a vision to devote 30 to 60 minutes each week to this new program. 

Any suggestions on what sort of things I should focus on in that time duration?

I’d also appreciate your suggestions on what to call these meetings so it sends a good message. Thanks for any feedback. 

Developer

Dear Developer,

Well, isn’t your team lucky to have you! I applaud your desire to develop people; it’s not as common an idea as you might think—despite our best efforts to spread the word.

With the amount of time you are devoting, it will be important to generate consistent value that hits your goals. I have some thoughts about how to do that:

• First, get input. Ask the folks you’re inviting a couple of questions, such as: “What would make you attend?” “What would you want to get out of it?” “What would you want to give?”
• Second, you might want to think about starting with a small cohort of your very best people. Meet someplace nice, make it visible, and spread the word that the group is by invitation only. This way when people are invited to join, they feel singled out for something positive. The group is seen as a reward—an elevation of status.
• Don’t be surprised if people are a little skittish at first about sharing their aspirations. It may make them feel exposed and vulnerable. They need to feel safe before they open up. Starting with something relatively broad like discussing current goals. Ask each person for one goal they would want to share with the group to get accountability and support. By choosing what to reveal, they feel a sense of control.
• Consider discussing higher level management topics like servant leadership, building trust, managing change, leading teams, personal development, or time management, to name a few. Invest in a couple of good leadership books—I’d suggest you start with the greats (Drucker, Bennis, Maxwell, Dupree, Blanchard, Collins, or Goldsmith, for example) and discuss concepts from them.
• For those who don’t consider reading that much fun, excellent lists are available of current top management thinkers. Provide links to short blog posts for ideas that spark discussion.
• Alternatively, each session could be driven by a question such as: What makes a good leader? How should a leader deal with someone who is late all the time? What do you know you should be doing as a manager but don’t quite know how?

In terms of what you might call your group, consider tying the name of the group to one of the stated values of your organization. For example, a value at Zappos is to “Deliver Wow with service.” They might call a group like yours The Wow Club.

Here are some other idea starters: Future Focus Conversations, Career Maps, Plan A Club , Brainstormers, Opportunity League, Look Ahead Club, Onward and Upward, Growth Guild, Career Club, Career Alliance, Rising Stars, or Talent Incubator.

There is always the possibility of a clever acronym—maybe something like LEAD—Leadership Exploration And Development, or MILE—Maximum Impact Leadership Effectiveness.

(You might get more ideas in the comments.)

Do let me know how this works out!

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I am the new CEO of an asset management firm. I am concerned that my executive team is not up to speed and I am nervous about delegating to them.

They are all super talented, bright and experienced. The problem is the former CEO was a micromanager who was punitive when people asked for help. Now I need to change the culture in the group to make sure people ask me for help before they dig themselves in too deep.

I have told them to feel free to come to me if they have doubts, but they don’t—and then there is a mess to clean up.

This is a critical juncture. The eyes of every board member are on us. But I am traveling too much and doing work my team should be doing because I don’t trust them not to screw things up.

I know I have to stop this, but I don’t know how. Ideas?

Can’t Delegate

Dear Can’t Delegate,

It is true that most new leaders would prefer to shoot off like a rocket to where they are going and send a postcard from the destination. Welcome to the brave new world of getting things done through others. This is the transformational journey that you unwittingly signed up for, and it will be fraught, difficult, and intensely rewarding. It will require patience and generosity and—probably most challenging for you—slowing down right now so you can go faster later. Here are a few ideas:

• Shift your mindset. It’s hard being a genius (I use Immanuel Kant’s definition of genius as someone who creates new things with existing materials or ideas.) I know this because for 25 years I have specialized in coaching them—and I have been married to two. I’m guessing you have an exceptional ability to make connections between big abstract ideas that are obvious to you. Because they are obvious to you, you assume they are obvious to everyone else—but this is where you are wrong. You have to slow yourself down enough to articulate the steps and connections between your big ideas. You have to draw pictures, show the progression of logic, and connect the dots between your big cognitive leaps. Tedious? Yes. But a critical part of your job right now.
• Address the problem head on. Pull your team together and articulate the problem as you see it. Talk about the former CEO and his method of operating, making clear that your approach is not the same as his. Be explicit about how you will reward people when they ask for help. Scott Blanchard, who works on many complex deals, has a mantra he repeats: “Don’t lose a million dollar deal by yourself.”
• Remember that you are suggesting a big change. Asking for help makes some people feel vulnerable and can require fairly intense personal development. Challenge each of your people first to figure out what gets in the way of their asking for help—and then to push themselves past it. Introduce them to Brene Brown, who is at the forefront of the research showing that learning to be vulnerable makes better leaders.
• Apply a method to assess competence and confidence. In our flagship model, Situational Leadership® II, we teach leaders how to work with people to zero in on exactly where they need help to become the wiz they are. Remember that the tasks you are delegating are highly complex. How come you don’t screw up? Are you that much smarter? No, but you learned a lesson along the way—figure out how to help people identify their development level on a task.
• Allow the team to reason through complex situations even if you already have the answer. Let them work it out together, learn from each other, and grow as a team. If you absolutely must, you can throw in your wisdom at the end.
• Share your thinking. Anytime you learn something new, send the learning to everyone on your team. A short email is all it takes. When you travel, take someone with you and share your every thought on what you are learning and experiencing along the way. You think they can read your mind,—or you wish they could—but they can’t and they won’t. So tell them everything you think they need to know.

You were made CEO because it was assumed that you will be able to do what you do and empower your executive team to be brilliant. If you apply only two of these ideas, you will be well underway.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

A leader’s role, while serving as a role model of performance and development, is to help others accomplish objectives.  Anyone who is striving to be an effective leader, the role of the mirror is key! Leaders who are aware of their own behaviors and emotional intelligence are able to influence effectively, build deep connections with others, and intentionally serve as an inspiring example.

However, even when identified, adopting a new behavior is not always easy. Have you ever tried adopting a new behavior such as asking open-ended questions before offering a solution? Or adapting your communication style to the style of the receiver? Or sharing your thoughts rather than remaining silent?

Most of these behaviors are challenging for leaders—and this is exactly the type of objectives professional coaches work on with clients. Here, for example, are some of the communication behavior goals I’ve worked on with my clients.

• Communication Goal: Developing new behaviors that open up lines of communication instead of shutting them down.
• Listening Goal: Managing the tendency to provide solutions rather than ask open-ended questions from a curiosity perspective to promote self problem solving.
• Executive Presence Goal: Learning how to manage emotions to increase confidence, credibility, communication, conciseness, and composure.

A quick check in the mirror is a good first step toward identifying and altering leadership behaviors that might be holding you back. In addition, working with a coach is a great way to double-check the accuracy of your perceptions and get going in the right direction.

If you want to continue to develop as a leader, you must be willing to look in the mirror on a regular basis—to reach deep down into the depths of your soul to identify values, motivators, and behaviors. When was the last time you took a good look?

Could you be more effective as a leader? Take a deep breath, open your mind, and repeat after me: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall…”

About the Author

Terry Watkins is a coaching solutions partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Coaching a senior leader can be complicated. They have lots of demands on their time, huge decisions to make, and often do not get a lot of direct, honest feedback from people around them.

In fact, coaching anyone can be complicated—because humans are complicated. We are constantly scanning our mental and physical landscapes for what we can and can’t do, what we want and don’t want to do, how we feel, who we like, or who we struggle to work with. Joy, disappointment, fear, boredom, and a host of other bits of noise can get in the way of normal functioning.

In spite of our constant scanning, we are fundamentally designed to grow and change.  Like a butterfly that emerges triumphant from its chrysalis, someone being coached can emerge from the experience ready to spread their wings.

As coaches, our job is to help cut through the noise in people’s lives and support change—sustainable, real, down-to-the-wings change. Sometimes we settle for surface change because that’s all our client is capable of in the moment. But sometimes we get to that deep change—which is always what we’re going for. We are the person who helps in this metamorphosis. Coaching is the catalyst that facilitates growth. The way a coach arrives at that change is threefold.

1. Listen. A coach listens not only to the surface story, but also to what is unsaid. We listen for values, beliefs, cognitive dissonance, and the heart’s yearning. These things form the client’s foundation from which all behavior stems. As a coach, when I listen at my best, deepest ability, I have a quiet mind and am empty of solutions. I provide a calm place for the client to express thought, emotion, and action.
2. Provoke. A coach provokes learning, new ideas, excitement, thoughtfulness, mindfulness, and a belief that change can and will happen. This is done by asking simple, open ended questions with no judgment, no solutions, and no necessity to explain, confirm, or normalize.
3. Partner. We are in the thick of it with our clients. We care. We hold them to be their best selves. We believe completely and wholly that our clients can learn, grow, change, and achieve.  My success as a coach comes when my clients have that moment of clarity, commit to new actions, and really believe, fundamentally, that they can achieve a new outcome.  I am an accountability partner. I am a mirror. I am the person who believes in them even when they don’t or can’t believe in themselves. I am a truth teller—not of my truth but of their truth. I am a conduit. I am a funnel. I am, in essence, what the client needs in that moment to be able to change.

Coaching can create great beauty in the world. You don’t have to be a professional coach—anyone can use coaching behaviors. Be the one to help your people spread their wings and create positive change in their lives!

About the Author

Patricia Overland is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

To assess whether the coach has the level of competence we need, we always have them coach one of our senior staff members. Rookie coaches who really don’t know what they are doing stand out like a sore thumb during this exercise even though most are very well meaning. Their lack of experience usually shows up in one of nine ways.

You can tell someone is a rookie coach when they:

1. Worry too much about creating relationship. Clients tend to give a new coach the benefit of the doubt as long as they perceive the coach to be competent and caring. Coaches don’t need to spend hours getting every detail of a client’s life history.
2. Ask too many questions to satisfy their own curiosity rather than getting to the heart of the matter. Good coaches sift quickly for what is relevant and ignore the noise.
3. Let the client go on too long about their story. The narrative is important insofar as the coach or client needs it to write the ending—but detailed plot twists just waste time.
4. Ask a bunch of why questions to assess motive and purpose. Many people being coached don’t know the why of anything and will go in circles trying to figure it out. Why is to be used on very rare occasions to help the client get through layers to reach what’s real and true.
5. Get too hung up on accountability. Holding people accountable is taught aggressively in many coaching schools. To be fair, some clients really want and need it—but many don’t. So it’s wise to check instead of insisting on an annoying practice that can come off as parental.
6. Step over opportunities to challenge the client about attitudes, beliefs, or potentially unproductive behavior. It takes some courage but it is part of the job. I have worked with clients who said they had worked with other coaches they characterized as being “too nice.”
7. Ignore inklings that the client is not getting value from a coaching session or engagement.
8. Take the client to task if they haven’t done their homework. Coaches aren’t schoolteachers grading people on compliance. If a client doesn’t do what they say they will do, it is a useful sign that they tend to overpromise and underdeliver, aren’t working on the right goals, or aren’t as committed to the goal as they thought. All of these are potential data points the coach can use to move the person forward.
9. Fall for it when a client asks “What do you think I should do? or “What would you do?” Coaches can and should definitely share useful proven models, concepts, and general rules of thumb to help a client think through and make sound decisions—but a coach’s actual opinion is rarely germane. If a coach does share an opinion, they should name and claim it as their opinion, and be ready to explain what the opinion is based on, whether it is experience or research.

Everybody has to start somewhere, but the challenge we face in providing coaches to executives in organizations is the need to put our most experienced and effective coaches in front of clients. For us, learning on the job is something we can’t afford. The good news is that new coaches can move ahead much more quickly by identifying any of these possible errors in their own approach and practicing alternative approaches that are more beneficial to clients.

With practice, new coaches will soon find themselves having the productive engagements that we—and all coaching organizations—look for.

About the Author

Madeleine Blanchard is the co-founder of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team.  Since 2000, Blanchard’s 150 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This guest post is by Michael Glazer.

If only I had a dollar for every time I heard leaders say they want the people in their organizations to “tell me what I need to know, not what I want to hear.”

Speaking truth to power is easier said than done, but people who can do it well earn respect from their managers and help their own careers in the process.

The same principle applies when leaders want to develop professionally.

Sure, many leaders I work with appreciate having a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental environment to experiment with new ideas and explore aspects of their own leadership styles. But the same leaders tell me that what they want most is constructive challenge from the people around them, whether it’s on the job or in a formal learning setting. The reason, they tell me, is that constructive challenge pushes their thinking and their emotions in a way that drives positive action and growth.

And the more senior the leader, the more this seems to be the case. I see this often here in Asia, where cultures can be more hierarchical and relationship-focused than in the relatively egalitarian and task-focused cultures of many Western countries (leaders tend to receive less upward feedback in hierarchical cultures).

So, what does it mean to give someone constructive challenge? I ask this question regularly in conversations and leadership workshops I facilitate. And over time I compiled a list of common requests I hear leaders make. Here are a few of them:

• Ask pinpointed questions
• Prompt me to consider new options
• Ask for the facts behind my statements (don’t take my word for everything)
• Give me a point of view different from my own
• Ask me to consider others’ points of view
• Give me quick responses to keep me alert
• Help me visualize and consider the future
• Tell me if I am speaking too much
• Point out possible assumptions and biases
• Give me candid feedback about how I come across to you

Similar to the advice given in the HBR article “Connect, Then Lead,” my experience is that first offering warm support and then showing strength through constructive challenge works best. I’ve seen firsthand how doing this earns respect, strengthens relationships, and propels people to take action to develop themselves.

Now I’ll ask you. What have others done to constructively challenge you? And how did the experience impact you or your relationship with the person who gave it? I look forward to hearing your stories and experiences.

About the Author

Michael Glazer is a senior consultant with People Focus Consulting, a Blanchard Global Partner based in Tokyo, Japan.  Michael specializes in talent development, leadership development, and change management.

I had a chance to experience both of these things when I recently accepted a new position with my company.  Eight months ago, I stepped into a new leadership role supporting a team in Asia Pacific.

It required me to up my game in three critical areas—increased transparency, response to feedback, and commitment to growth.

Here’s what I learned.  See if it might help you.

Increased transparency.  We take our leaders and clients through a process we call Leadership Point of View where leaders take a look back through their leadership journey—the people and events that have shaped them, their values, and what they expect of themselves and others—and create a story about themselves they can share with people and teams they lead.  Because I had the good fortune of going through this process more than seven years ago, I was able to share my Leadership Point of View with my new team. In sharing, I set the stage for each person to have a better understanding of me as their leader that, because of the distance between us, would have taken months if not years to learn through our interactions.  How well does your team know you?  What could you do to increase your transparency?

Response to feedback.  Getting a read on the impact you are having can be a challenge when you are in a position of leadership.  Very few people are comfortable speaking truth—especially negative feedback—up the leadership hierarchy. In my case, I was stepping into a new position with a team located across the ocean on another continent with a different culture.  How could I create an environment where people would feel comfortable speaking up and sharing their thoughts about change?  What was the best approach to being culturally sensitive in China or in Japan?  I relied heavily on my internal teammates to guide me.  I sought feedback following meetings and also asked for patience from my colleagues as I learned about working in Asia Pacific. Are you comfortable enough to be vulnerable and ask your people for feedback?

Commitment to growth.  Growth comes in many forms, including identifying what’s not working, trying on new behaviors, committing to change, and then setting up both the direction and support for doing it all.  Through coaching, I was able to practice new behaviors that had been outside of my comfort zone or different from what my typical style would be.  I also have continued to seek guidance from people on the Asia team to get their input on how I can best serve them and their colleagues throughout the region.

I know my growth in the next year will put me leaps ahead of where I am today. It’s exciting to think about how much more equipped I will be to serve the region and the team. In the meantime, I am on a steep learning curve—but one that is backed with a commitment to serve, which will help me make incremental changes that will eventually feel normal and comfortable. How open are you to growth and change?

For me, a commitment to learning, growing, and evolving to meet the needs of my environment is the formula for success.  See if it can work for you as well!

About the Author

Joni Wickline is Vice President, International Growth with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Wickline’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

This post is by Paul Murphy, Director of Channel Sales, Asia-Pacific.

Since China really started opening up to inbound investment over the last 30-plus years, there have been numerous stories of how challenging it can be for foreign executives to lead local staff in China. We have created a certain mystique about this concept and the belief that it is simply something that non-Chinese must struggle with.

Given the importance of China in the world economy and for many multinational corporations, this belief is hugely important. Is it really accurate though?

Just as an executive from the United States would notice differences in workplace norms in Germany or an Indian manager would need to develop new skills when leading a team in Brazil, there are inevitably differences to be found between China and other countries or regions around the world.

However, the fundamentals to leading a team in China do not differ in any significant way from leading in any other country. Simply put, these are

• Set clear goals that are easily understood.
• Identify the level of competence, motivation, and confidence of your direct reports for each of these goals.
• Adjust your own leadership styles and behaviors to best support the above.
• Check in frequently with your individual team members to assess their progress with these goals and adjust your own leadership styles where appropriate.

Although the fundamentals are the same, the ways your team members work with you might differ. Their comfort level in communicating their needs and concerns is often a challenge. You may find they are less willing than Western staffers typically are to highlight problems or a lack of motivation they are facing. As a result, patience and a need to interpret more nuanced messaging are definitely valuable, but it does not change the need to follow the above process in order to successfully lead your team.

Ultimately, whether you are heading to China and are concerned about how you can lead your team or you are in another part of the world and work with Chinese colleagues, do not worry. If you are a good leader in your home country, you will be a good leader in China. Follow leadership best practices, listen, learn, and be patient. You will see great results.

About the Author

Paul Murphy is the Director of Channel Sales, Asia-Pacific, responsible for all aspects of the indirect channel business within APAC for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Paul is based in Hong Kong and can be reached at paul.murphy@kenblanchard.com.

In their book Coaching in Organizations, master certified coaches Madeleine Homan Blanchard and Linda Miller devote a chapter to tips that help ensure a productive coaching relationship and also create a nurturing environment for the person being coached.

In addition to making sure the potential coachee has a clear understanding of what to expect from the coach as well as the coaching process, the authors recommend that anyone pursuing a coaching relationship have seven additional qualities.

Ever wonder if you would be a good candidate for coaching?  How would you score yourself in these seven areas?

1. I am enthusiastic about the concept of continuous professional development and learning.
2. I am willing and able to identify at least one key area in which I can commit to change.
3. I am open to finding a minimum of one hour of company time per week to speak to my coach.
4. I am willing to share openly about myself and my perceptions with someone outside the company.
5. I am an early adopter of new ideas and behaviors.
6. I see myself as a trailblazer, risk taker, or leader.
7. I am fundamentally proud of working at my organization.

A successful coaching relationship is not something that should be entered into lightly.  A person being coached not only must have a clear sense of what is to be gained from the investment of time, but also must be prepared to enter into a full partnership with their coach.

So—are you coachable?  Would you add any other characteristics/statements to this list? Use the comments section below!

A new book by Michael Bungay Stanier, The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, just might be the solution every well-meaning manager has been looking for. I finished the book during my recent vacation. (I can hear the groans—Reading a business book on vacation; really?—but it was definitely worth it.) Stanier, an acclaimed executive coach and former coach of the year in his native Canada, shares seven questions any manager can use to increase their leadership effectiveness—especially during One on Ones.

I don’t want to give it all away here—you really need to read the book to appreciate the nuance and genius of what Stanier shares, but in a nutshell the seven questions are

1. What’s on your mind? A brilliantly simple way to open up a one-on-one conversation, invite people to share, and get at what is most important in the moment
2. And what else? Three little words that open up possibilities, insights, and increased self-awareness
3. What’s the real challenge here for you? The question that slows down the rush to find the first answer instead of solving the real problem
4. What do you want? Taking the time to discover the need and the desired outcome that makes charting the journey easier
5. How can I help? Insisting on a clear direct request that you as a leader can respond to
6. What will you say no to if you’re truly saying yes to this? Life is about choices. This question identifies the tough trade-offs.
7. What was most useful for you? Gathering feedback and extracting value from the conversation

If you are a well-meaning manager who wants to have more-productive conversations with your people, try these questions. Bonus: They also work great for those work-related conversations at home—you know, right after you ask, “How was your day?” You’ll see the power of these questions immediately.

For those interested in learning more about the method behind the magic, be sure to check out all the praise and positive reviews on Amazon. See why Dan Pink, Brené Brown, and Dave Ulrich, along with 300 other positive reviewers, are so excited—including me!

Conducting successful One on Ones are a key leadership competency. Learn how asking these seven questions can help you be the manager you want to be.

About the Author

David Witt is the Program Director for The Ken Blanchard Companies. A business-focused writer, researcher, and speaker, David is the editor and lead columnist for The Ken Blanchard Companies Ignite! online newsletter, moderator of the company’s LeaderChat blog, and host of the company’s monthly webinar programming.

In an article for Forbes, David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line shares that anyone in a leadership role can have a compelling vision, excellent strategy, flawless communication skills, insight, and hard-working direct reports, but if people don’t trust them, they’ll never get the intended results.

At the same time, research by Towers Watson identifies that only 55% of employees trust senior management, and only 52% of employees think their leaders are aware of how their actions impact the thoughts and emotions of other workers.

Business leaders need to be skilled in the art and science of trust if they are going to succeed in engaging the hearts and minds of those they lead.

So how can a leader build trust?  Here are five places I’d start.  See how this matches up with your experience.

1. Increase self awareness, and living with core values.

A good leader needs to know themselves well, and understand their own behaviors and actions. Becoming more aware of their own moral values and personality traits allows a leader to identify assumptions and behaviors that might hinder their ability to lead effectively.

2. Avoid breaking promises.

Leaders who keep their word build trust because people know what to expect from them. Leaders can avoid breaking promises by learning to say “no” if necessary; only making promises they intend to keep in the first place, and keeping agreements clear and precise. If something comes up that requires a change, share any setbacks early on.

3. Being honest and upfront.

Trustworthy leaders keep their team members informed as much as they can—sharing information openly and honestly—even if this means having a difficult conversation. Honesty and openness increase trustworthiness because employees know that their leader isn’t intentionally hiding information.

4. Approachability and mutual respect.

A trustworthy leader needs to be approachable. Team members won’t approach their leader if they can’t predict how the leader will react, or what kind of mood he or she will be in. This consistency in reaction should be applied to everyone on the team (and not just the people they like the most!)

5. Being firm, but fair.

Leaders need to be clear on their expectations and then be available for course corrections as needed. If a leader sees someone off course, tell them right away. Be honest and upfront but also be prepared to listen carefully and really understand the reasons why a direct report is not meeting the expectation set.

Trust is a key element of success in today’s business environment.  When everything is moving quickly, you need people you can count on, and people need leaders they can trust.  Without it, things grind to a halt and even the simplest of tasks takes forever.

Leaders have a major role to play in setting the tone for their team, department, or organization. I hope these five points get you thinking about ways you can improve trust in your organization.  Any additional ideas?  Be sure to share them below.

Dear Madeleine,

I am a director in a large retail organization. Recently everyone at my level received an online 360° feedback. My report shows that my whole team is very unhappy with my hands-on style. All 14 of my people—not just 1 or 2— see me as a micro-manager. In the open-ended comments were phrases like “in the weeds” and “breathing down my neck.” Also, my peers and my boss perceive me as being “not strategic.”

I was blindsided by this. I am upset and confused. Right now I have no idea how to do my job. I have always thought it was good that I’m on top of things and I head off errors and problems before they can even start—but it turns out that all this time I have been de-motivating my team! I am at a total loss. I just don’t understand why the feedback is so negative.

My wife thinks I am taking this too much to heart and I should ignore it and move on. What do you think?

At a Loss

Dear At a Loss,

I think your wife is wrong—you should not take her advice to ignore this feedback. She is right, though, in the sense that you can’t take it too personally. But you have to take it seriously. Your job and future are at stake here. Feedback is often more a reflection of the person giving it than the one receiving it, but the one useful thing about the multi-raters—especially if you had a large group filling it out—is that it shines a light on something you are oblivious to but everyone else sees.

It is surprising that you have never, ever heard this type of feedback before and that you are so gob smacked by it. Has no one ever mentioned to you that they didn’t need you to supervise them as closely as you do? If you think about it, you may have had hints about this but chose to ignore them. We all do it.

Now is the time for you to pay attention to this very real situation and make a change. You must make use of the feedback or you will never grow as a human being (or be promoted). You don’t want to look back on this moment and regret it. Create some space in your brain to process the feedback by asking yourself What if this were true?

Research shows that successful people are naturally good at seeking out feedback and making changes based on that feedback. You can choose to develop this quality.

So what to do? The first person to talk to is your boss. Ask her what it would look like for you to be more strategic.  Get specifics on what you should stop doing and what you should do differently. Challenge her to give it to you straight. Tell her about the feedback from your team and enlist her help in adopting a less controlling style. Make a list of all the ways you can improve and brainstorm with her the ones that are the most doable and will get the best results. You can’t get a personality transplant, so find changes you can make that are realistic for you.

You could also ask your boss to arrange for some training—our Situational Leadership® II method is ideal for just this problem. You can read about it in the book Leadership and the One Minute Manager. It explains how to give each employee just the right amount of direction and support so you aren’t breathing down anyone’s neck or, conversely, abandoning them when they need you.

Then swallow your pride and go talk to your team. Go ahead and tell them how shocked you are at the feedback. Explain that you want to be a better boss and that you want to give them the direction and support they need, when they need it, and not more than they need. Give them permission to tell you when you are overdoing it and to come to you for help when they need it. Once you decide what behaviors you want to stop or start, tell your people what you are working on and ask them to give you in-the-moment feedback as you go. Leadership is a relationship between you and the people who follow you. Develop that relationship and improve the communication channels. Use your strength—the one that makes you good at staying on top of things and anticipating problems—to monitor your own behavior.

This feedback is not an attack on your character. It is an opportunity for you to become a better leader. Was any of the feedback good? Did you even notice the good feedback? Probably not. Most people are hyper-focused on the criticism. Go back and read through the report again and focus on the good stuff. It drives me crazy that your company thought it would be a good idea to give you a feedback experience without offering support from someone who could help you talk it through and come up with an action plan for what isn’t working.

Stay in touch and let me know how it is going.

Love, Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

This powerful moment in the film sheds light on the fact that leaders don’t apologize much, making this scene even more striking. And yet, there are times where leaders make mistakes—and in those moments, it can be difficult to apologize. Whether it is ego, whether it is because they had been confident of the process and outcome, or whether it is simply forgetfulness, apologies are not commonplace.  Still, there are many dissatisfied employees in workplaces today who may feel they are deserving of an apology.

Even though it’s not easy to apologize, saying “sorry” can make you more transparent and allow a deeper level of trust to occur between you and your direct reports. It can also show that you are relatable and human, as well as demonstrate your integrity and willingness to change. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should apologize every day—but sometimes when a mistake is made an apology should follow.

Have you done something that led to a less-than-favorable outcome? Perhaps you passed a person up for a raise, reprimanded someone a bit too harshly, or gave a direct report so much work they became overwhelmed and stressed. Remember that even if your intentions weren’t to harm, if the other person perceives your behavior as hurtful they will feel hurt. In these moments an apology is important. It acknowledges your own wrongdoing and communicates to the other person your commitment to growth and improvement.

When you do apologize:

1. State the context. Outline the situation by starting with phrases like “Remember when…” or “That other day when…” and describe the behaviors that took place. Especially if the event happened a while ago, it may be good to refresh the person’s memory.
2. Acknowledge the other person by stating the impact of your behavior on them. Say, “When I did that, you looked…” or “I noticed you didn’t go to lunch like you usually do after what happened.” Remember to be objective and focus on the behaviors you directly observed, leaving out any inferences.
3. Avoid explanations and focus on the future. No one wants to hear an apology that is followed by the word but. Don’t offer reasons for what you did—instead, provide reassurances that you are working to grow and improve so that such an event doesn’t happen again.

Apologizing is not easy, but when you learn how to do it properly, it becomes less difficult over time. And when you do say “sorry,” you—and the person you say it to—will be glad you did.

Sharing your Leadership Point of View is one of the most powerful ways to accomplish that, according to coaching expert Joni Wickline.

In the August issue of Blanchard Ignite, Wickline describes a Leadership Point of View as a story about“…the people and events that have shaped who you are. It also speaks to your values, your beliefs, and what drives you as a leader.”

For many, creating a Leadership Point of View (LPOV) is an emotional journey. Wickline says a lot of leaders play it safe when first given the chance to share.

“It’s hard to share some parts of your Leadership Point of View because it’s so personal. It’s normal to be apprehensive talking about people, experiences, and values that have made you who you are, including your expectations for yourself and others. But it will deepen the relationship between you and your direct reports. It dramatically shortens the time it takes people to get to know you as a person and as a leader.

For leaders who have never even considered sharing personal experiences, Wickline suggests a couple of first steps.

Take a Minute to Reflect. Going through the process of identifying your LPOV requires time—time to reflect on yourself; what brought you to where you are today; what makes you tick. Most leaders haven’t spent much time looking back to identify where their values and beliefs came from. Wickline would be the first to admit that she fell into the same category.

“When I started working on my Leadership Point of View, I had to think long and hard about my current attitudes and how they came to be. For example, when somebody tells me I can’t do something, I immediately fight against that and do whatever it takes to prove them wrong. Where on earth did that come from?”

Tell A Story. Wickline says when leaders spend time thinking about where their values and beliefs originated, they will come up with stories they can share with people. And stories are important.

“People remember stories. If I just say, ‘Here is a list of things I think are important,’ people won’t remember that. But when I tell stories about experiences I’ve had or share something I learned from my mom or dad, it makes a connection.”

Make Sure It’s Your Story. It’s important to share your authentic self, reminds Wickline. She once worked with a leader who asked to hear her story as an example of a good presentation so that he could better shape his.

“He told me he really resonated with my story—but I reminded him it was my story, and he needed to tell his. He insisted he could just refine mine with a little bit of tweaking here and there, but I continued to steer him away from that idea.

“I told him, ‘No, the story won’t sound authentic if you try to frame it as your own.’ The goal—and the power—is in sharing your true, authentic self. We each have many stories no one else can tell.”

Creating a Deeper Connection

In encouraging leaders to share their story, Wickline relates positive experiences others have had after crafting their LPOV. “People who put the time and energy into this process consistently look back on the experience as something that helped them rediscover the values and beliefs they hold dear. Sharing your story with your team creates a deep connection.

“So what are the stories that illustrate your values that you could share with others? What’s happened in your life? Who can you point to as a personal influence that will help your team learn more about what makes you tick? Creating and sharing your Leadership Point of View is a wonderful gift to give to yourself, your people, and your organization.”

You can learn more in the August issue of Blanchard Ignite.  Also be sure to check out a webinar that Wickline is conducting on August 24, Creating a Deeper Connection: Sharing Your Leadership Point of View—it’s free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Consider this story shared by a woman in a workshop I was teaching on motivation.

While taking her normal elevator ride up to her office she found herself alone with the CEO of her company, whom she had never met. As she explained, “My heart raced. Should I introduce myself? When will I ever have another chance like this? But what if I make a bad impression?”

By the time the woman could gather her thoughts and decide what to do, the elevator stopped, the CEO stepped out, and the moment was lost. As she rode up the final few floors she was flooded with emotion.

“I was shaking. I was sad—disappointed—mad—frustrated—angry. I couldn’t believe how one person entering the elevator and not saying a word could generate so much negative emotion in me.” The woman said it had been a horrible way to start the day.

What caused all of the mental anguish? Real and perceived power. Without the woman’s perception of the CEO’s power, the dynamic in the elevator would have been far less tense for the woman. Research bears this out.

Dr. Drea Zigarmi, Dr. Taylor Peyton Roberts, and I recently completed research on how a leader’s power affects people’s motivation. We found that leaders at all levels need to be mindful and clear about the types of power they have and use. Our findings showed that the use—or the perceived use—of leader power usually results in people experiencing suboptimal motivation. Let’s take a closer look.

In 1959, social psychologists John R. P. French and Bertram Raven described five bases of power that are typically in play in the workplace.

• Reward power: A leader’s power to promise monetary or nonmonetary compensation or incentives.
• Coercive power: A leader’s power to use threats and punishment.
• Referent power: A leader’s power that causes followers to want to identify with, be associated with, or to believe in the leader.
• Legitimate power: A leader’s power of position or title that gives the leader the right to request compliance from another individual.
• Expert power: A leader’s power that comes through depth and breadth of knowledge.

Why are perceptions of power so important to understand? Because of their impact on motivation. A leader’s use of power can undermine people’s need for autonomy, relatedness, and competence (ARC)—the three psychological needs required for people to thrive, produce, and sustain high performance. Because people can potentially perceive their leader as having power over them in any of these five areas, you could be undermining people’s motivation and not realize it.

Here are insights on how to use your five bases of power more wisely:

• There are two types of reward power—impersonal and personal. Consider how you are using impersonal reward power to grant special benefits, promotions, or favorable considerations. Think about how you might be using personal reward power to influence employees’ feelings of being accepted, valued, and liked by you. Misuse of either leads to suboptimal motivation.
• Understandably, the use of coercive power usually results in a negative relationship—and suboptimal motivation in those you lead. Coercive power creates a workplace where people waste emotional energy to avoid suboptimal motivation.
• If referent power becomes too important, it can result in people who are afraid to disagree with you. It might surprise you to discover that when employees report managers exhibiting referent power, they also report experiencing suboptimal motivation because of their dependence on that leader for their internal state of well-being.
• Even legitimate power—often referred to as position power—can be misused when it is perceived as “Do this because I tell you to.”
• Finally, while expert power won’t necessarily result in people’s optimal motivation, withholding it can put them into suboptimal motivation.

As my colleague Dr. Drea Zigarmi so aptly puts it: “Power is very precious stuff. It entices the leader into flights of self-delusion and separateness from those they lead.”

Over 125 years ago, Lord Acton wrote the famous line, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” and the less famous line, “The sole advantage of power is the ability to do more good.” Based on our research, we might follow with this advice: Let go of your dependence on power to get work done. Instead, consider your power as an opportunity to do more good by developing ARC-supportive skills to understand, appreciate, and respond to people’s psychological needs. You will create a workplace where people are optimally motivated to achieve results and have the energy, vitality, and well-being needed to sustain those results. Powerful!

About the Author

Susan Fowler is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies, co-creator of the company’s Optimal Motivation and Situational Self Leadership training programs, and the author of the bestselling book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does: The New Science of Leading, Engaging, and Energizing.

Doing this also removed me from the seemingly endless and snarky commentary that accompanies any substantial story these days.  It reminded me that anyone can point out what is wrong, what doesn’t work, and what is unfair.   The insidiousness of the critical perspective is that it attracts additional criticism. Then, a big pile of what’s wrong is mounded up on the table.  It’s hard to see anything else!

But is that useful?

A good coach will tell you to take a different approach.  Instead of judgmental, negative commentary, consider looking around and focusing energy on what is working to make things better.

Focusing on what works doesn’t sacrifice your smarts, or your work ethic:  it shifts your energy towards the positive.  Here are a few other attributes I’ve noticed that make positive leaders more generative than other smart, hardworking leaders.

• They bring curiosity to the table.
• They are as interested in learning from others as they are in sharing their knowledge.
• They understand the value of enthusiasm!
• They are of good will, and see the good in others.

Their successes are not born from an angry, judgmental, know-it-all style.  Yours shouldn’t be, either. Infuse your smarts and hard work with kindness, curiosity, and enthusiasm.  I assure you, it is worth it.

About the Author

Mary Ellen Sailer, Ed.D., is a Coaching Solutions Partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Coaching Services team. Since 2000, Blanchard’s 130 coaches have worked with over 14,500 individuals in more than 250 companies throughout the world. Learn more at Blanchard Coaching Services. And check out Coaching Tuesday every week at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

These words came at the end of a presentation I gave where I shared a new strategy—a strategy that would require change, including new roles and some sacrifice, from everyone. I wasn’t sure how everyone would respond but I knew I would have my best chance of successfully leading the initiative if I were transparent about the thinking.

Transparency plays a significant role in leadership—especially when leading change. The simple definition of transparency is to be seen through, easy to notice or understand, honest and open, not secretive. Leading change, big or small, requires people to behave differently, to shift and get on board with the change, and to actively support and progress the change.

But it has to be thoughtful transparency. I say thoughtful because being transparent, if not well thought out, has the potential to backfire.

For me, thoughtful transparency takes time and preparation. I need time to reflect and prepare for questions that may come up in conversations. It’s easy for a slipup to happen during stressful situations. A comment or explanation taken the wrong way could be just the excuse people need to sit tight, dig in their heels, and keep things as they are.

As I work to be thoughtful and intentional with my transparency, I begin with a few questions: What is the change? Why are we doing it? What is my role in leading it? A leader needs to be prepared for these questions.

Another important thing to remember is that taking a transparent approach doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Involve in confidential conversation others who can help you, including your manager, peers, and an external coach.

I also find it helpful to think through a couple of elements of the message I need to share.

What is my overall message? Reflect and get clear on what you want to share with your stakeholders. A message that is clear and compelling includes sharing the current situation and the future state. It helps explain why the change is happening, why now, and what outcomes are expected.

How will roles change? This answers the question How will this change affect me? Prepare to share what roles are needed and how current roles will be impacted. Also, share any new expectations for these roles.

What conversations need to occur? Think about the conversations you will have with key stakeholders. What are the potential gaps? What alignment is needed? What questions do you still have to answer? What still needs to be figured out? Ultimately, conversation is where transparency comes alive—both in a one-on-one situation and as a group. It’s where your ability as a leader can shine as you engage in discussion that needs to happen to facilitate movement toward goals and outcomes.

In my case, transparency served me well. It helped the people affected by the change to be involved, heard, and respected.

I hope you find this approach helpful as you lead change efforts. People can always tell if you are holding back in any way. With a little preparation, transparency can be the best way to approach any sensitive change effort.

Do you agree? Disagree? What would you add? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

About the Author

Joni Wickline is Vice President, International Growth with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read Wickline’s posts as a part of Coaching Tuesday here at Blanchard LeaderChat for ideas, research, and inspirations from the world of executive coaching.

Dear Madeleine,

I run a department in a fast growing biotech company. Things are moving so fast that they keep promoting me and I have to say I am pretty sure I have no idea what I am doing at this point.

I have excellent people reporting to me—they are all super smart, insanely dedicated, and well intentioned. When I was first promoted, I really enjoyed managing professionals who were like me. But with the latest change I now supervise managers of other managers who are quite a bit older than me and more experienced, and I also still have my own deliverables.

I am behind on paperwork required by HR, performance reviews, and my goals for next quarter. I am so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to begin. I am tempted to go to my boss, tell him I can’t hack it, and ask to be demoted again.

Want to Downgrade

Dear Want to Downgrade,

Whoa there, let’s just take a deep breath and think this one through, okay? You, like so many, have been thrust into management, and now senior management, apparently with zero direction or support. It sounds as if you feel like your hair is on fire—and why wouldn’t you? Let’s try to put that fire out first so you can think straight and make yourself a plan. The good news about being clueless is that you aren’t doing a lot of stupid stuff you shouldn’t be doing.

You definitely need to go to your boss—but to get some help, not to throw in the towel. I suspect your boss is underwater as much as you are, but you can ask him for some direction and prioritization. You will figure out how to do everything you need to do, just not all at the same time. Find out what is most important to your boss and, in the process, notice what matters to him least—for example, he may not care about the HR stuff. This will help you to decide what to tackle first, and what you can let slide for a minute or two. Choose which areas will help you get your feet back under you, and then figure out the rest. Block out some time each day to plan and prioritize. New research shows that people who spend their commute time clarifying goals and planning their workday have much lower levels of stress than those who don’t.

Next, get one-on-one meetings with each of your new direct reports on the calendar. The agenda? Simply ask them what they think you should know. You will be surprised at what you can learn.

Finally, cut yourself some slack. Someone obviously thought that in a sink-or-swim situation you were going to swim. So take a moment to float while you get you get your bearings, and then pick a direction and start swimming. Worst case would be that you fail and get demoted—but that probably won’t happen. Or you might actually figure out the job, decide you don’t want it, and move on to something else. At least that way you would be rising to the challenge and not throwing your hands up and quitting. I suspect you would regret that most of all.

Oh, and the next time you think you are going to run screaming from the building, take a short walk and take three deep breaths. When we are super stressed out, we tend to hold our breath—but the answer to the question always comes with the intake of breath.

Good luck!

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!

Dear Madeleine,

I have been a manager for about ten years in three different companies, all in the same industry. I have learned a lot and over the years have become more patient and diplomatic and a better communicator. I have a reputation for being a tough but fair manager and I keep getting promoted.

All my hard-won experience didn’t keep me from making a really terrible mistake, though. I was in the ladies’ room talking to a peer who was complaining that one of her employees was still out sick. I vented about one of my people who had really been slacking.

Unbeknownst to us, one of my direct reports was in one of the stalls during our conversation. I wouldn’t have known, except someone stopped me outside the bathroom and I saw her walk out. She saw me see her, and we both did the wide eyed “oh crud” look. I really should know better than to do something so stupid. I am mortified. Nothing has happened yet, as far as I know. The woman who overheard us is a very good employee with whom I have had good rapport. What to do?

Indiscreet

Dear Indiscreet,

Wow. Busted. The old “someone lurking in the bathroom stall” scenario. How painful and embarrassing. The good news is that you will never, ever do that again—I know this from personal experience. The kind of amazing thing is how conscious you are that you made a terrible mistake. A lot of people aren’t aware of the power of their words.

You have a couple of options: (1) Pretend it never happened; or (2) Fall on your sword.

If you go with option 1, you may never know if your employee spilled the beans. Or you may find out the hard way that she did. Either way, it will be hanging over your head. This would stress me out unbelievably, but denial can be a very powerful tool and many avail themselves of it. I wouldn’t judge you.

I do, however, encourage you to consider option 2. Go to the unwitting spy and beg her for forgiveness—and her silence. Explain that you were (carelessly) venting and trying to get your emotions under control so that you could give useful feedback. You will then, of course, be obligated to actually give that feedback to the person you were venting about. But you were going to do that anyway, before you got derailed by this drama, right? In this way, you can clean up your mess and move on.

When I was in coach training there was a great deal of focus on integrity, which included a ban on gossip. Gossip was starkly defined as talking about anyone who wasn’t present in the conversation. One of my friends in the program and I challenged ourselves to take it super seriously and not talk about anyone who wasn’t present for thirty days. It was astonishingly difficult, but it really helped us both to raise the bar for our own professional behavior. This experience will do the same for you.

Love Madeleine

About the author

Madeleine Homan-Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response here next week!